Title: 15 Things Overheard at Scribe's Cottage During the Holiday Season
Author: Scribe
Fandom: Xena
Sequel/Series: Part of the Love and Mischief Series
Disclaimer: I did not create, do not own, and do not profit from any of the recognizable media
characters and concepts borrowed herein.
Feedback: poet77665@catlover.com
Archive: Yes
Notes: This is just random snippets of speech that take place in the cottage of Scribe, Goddess of
Erotica and Cats in the Love and Mischief Series (Yes, she's a Mary Sue). To find out about her read
Stranger in a Strange Land at the AresJoxerCupidStrife website. At this point in the Love and Mischief
series, Bliss and Accord are both grown. **From my Learning, Leather, and Love Series. Think a toned
down Clive who prefers nancy boys. You can read their stories at
http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/scribescribbles/3Ltitle.htm
Rating: Teen
15 Things Overheard at Scribe's Cottage During the Holiday Season
by Scribe
"Tinsel, glass Christmas balls--and cats. WHAT WAS I THINKING?"
"So I thought this year I'd make fudge. Well, have you got any idea how hazardous it is to allow Strife
around a jar of marshmallow fluff?
"That's to coat the bon bons, and... JETT--GET AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT MELTED CHOCOLATE!"
"Hey Greagus. I had a talk with the cats. They promise no more raiding your food dish or crapping in
your favorite napping place for a year. I can't swear they'll be able to abstain for the full time, but I
tried. Merry Christmas."
"Here ya go, Accord. They're called 'scrunchies'."
"Yes, I know I promised to teach you to dance so you could surprise Ares. But Joxer, aren't you being a
little optimistic, just wanting to learn how to lead?"
"Trust me, Ares--learning how to follow when you dance will be the best Winter Solstice gift you can
give Joxer."
"No, Jayce, I can't introduce you to William Stonebridge.** Chase would smack both of us silly, but I'd
REALLY catch it because he knows that I know better."
"Okay, Strife. I'm making a trip to visit my family in the future, and I can pick up some gifts and
supplies for you. What do you need? Uh-huh. Pet rocks. Uh-huh. Silly String. Uh-huh. Super-Soaker.
Uh-huh. I'd better put some rain gear on the list for myself. What else? Uh-huh. Peppermint Altoids...
Wait--you aren't going to slip those into Apollo's pills are you? Oh, for Greagus--for his breath. I'd
better get you a case."
"Okay, Mjau. If it runs on batteries, I'll bring you back the automatic self-cleaning litterbox. Though I
can't fathom why you'd want one. I thought it amused you to listen to Ares swear when Joxer talks him
into cleaning yours."
"We're going to have to watch Strife when he's around Hestia. He got her to invent fruitcake."
"C'mon, Hades. I'm not asking you to wear the black lipstick--just a black kilt and maybe a little
eyeliner. After all, you're already kind of Goth by default. And besides, I bet Persephone would think it's
sexy."
"I'm going to make sure there's no risk of Zeus catching me under the mistletoe, cause that sucker
would probably try to take it beyond a kiss. I know--I'll show him a scrying mirror of my mother taking
after my neice's boyfriend when he fondled Rachel without permission. Mom would have been on COPS
if they'd had a video crew in the area, and her redneck accent was a little thicker."
"No wonder he won't talk to you. Ares, you've got to realize that tickling can go past foreplay into
torture. Let me introduce you to the concept of the safe word."
"There should be at least one person on Olympus who can arrange an Internet hook-up for me for
Christmas. You're GODS, for pity's sake!"