Welcome to AresJoxerCupidStrife

Answer to Christine's Challenge!

Title: Ares' thongless adventure
Author: StarEarthAngel
Contact: Starearthangel@yahoo.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Rating: pg-13
Archive: AJCS
Disclaimer: I can only dream!
Feedback: Sure why not, my muse needs feeding! :)
Dedication: To all the list sibs! And to HB and Christine for being perfectly silly chickys!
Summary: A whole lot of silliness revolving around Joxer's introduction to theater and Ares' shiny thong. :)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Why do I have this sudden craving for pig'sknuckles?" Joxer said with a puzzled look on his face.

"Okay�then Autolycus says his line." Ares mumbled,looking down upon a stack of parchment in his hand.

Joxer gave an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes.

"Ares, the play is tomorrow! How am I supposed to beready by tomorrow if you're not helping?"

Ares mumbled darkly under his breath and looked at theparchment.

"Oh, it-was-a-curse! Put-on-you-by-the-terrible- rosebush?" Ares acted very badly, then questioning thelast word.

"You get cursed by a rose bush?" Ares let out a smoothlaugh. "Who wrote this crap anyway?"

"Gabby did, it's part of Xena's plan to steal a pastechastity belt." Joxer rolled his eyes, Dismissive.

"What? Xena, needs a chastity belt? I think it's alittle late for that!" Ares replied, booming out withlaughter.

Joxer smirked slightly and went on.

"Not for her, for Gabby. She thinks she's been foolingaround with someone else. So, she's fixing it."

Ares paused, waiting for more of an explanation thatnever came.

"Sooooo, where do you and Autolycus come in?" The War Godasked, slightly intrigued.

"Well, me and Auto are gonna put on a play to distractDraco and his army while Xena steals the chastitybelt." The mortal sighed, sitting next to his lover.

"And *why* are you helping Xena again?" Ares asked,slightly annoyed that the warrior woman waspre-occupying his lover with foolish matters.

"Because, she told me she'd give you back your leatherthong Hercules stole from you�"

Joxer was immediately cut off by the War God's bellow.

"SHE has my leather thong? I miss my thong-thong-thong-thong, thong!." Arespouted, remembering his favorite piece of black, shinyunderwear.

"It's okay, Ares, I'll get it back for ya." Joxermanaged to comfort the War God just as Cupid and Strifeappeared in a daze of gold and blue.

"Hey, dad." Cupid said flatly. "Hey, Jox."

Joxer smiled up at the pair.

"Hey, unc, look what I got!" Strife chuckled, stickingout his tongue.

Ares looked upon his nephew in shock.

"A tongue piercing? Zeus isn't gonna be happy." Aresshook his head slowly at the silver stud stuck in themiddle of Strife's tongue.

Strife snorted shortly.

"I don't care! Cupid and me have fun with it. Don'twe?" Strife smiled, making a slurping noise.

"Oh for Zeus' sake cut it out! Joxer has to practice aplay."

"Wow you're in a play Jox? When?" The winged godasked, recovering from his moment of embarrassment.

"Oh, tomorrow in Athens, at the fish market, you guys cancome."

"Cool! See ya then, Jox." Strife and Cupid smiled,preparing to teleport out.

"OH hey, Strife, can I borrow one of your leatherchokers? I need one for the play." Joxer addedquickly.

"Sure, see ya then, Jox." And with that, the youngergods disappeared in a burst of light.

"Well, c'mon, I can service ya for tomorrow." Aresgrowled seductively, beckoning for Joxer to follow himinto one of the temple's bedrooms.

"I got these black lace panties I want you to�try on."Ares purred, looking his slim lover up and down beforeentering the room.

Joxer quickly threw down his script and chased afterhis god.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The following day��

Joxer was waiting back stage with Autolycus, going overlines, as the crowd grew quiet, waiting for theirshow.

"You sure you know all the lines?" Autolycus asked forthe hundredth time.

"Yes! And I even got Aphrodite to play the part of thebelly dancer. So, clam down, it's all under control!"Joxer snapped, attaching his leather choker around hisneck.

The pair nodded at one another before going on thestage to perform.

~*~*

Ares sat in the audience of warlords and harlotsbeside his idiot nephew and annoying son.

"Oh wow, Ares, look at Jox go, he's pretty good."Strife smiled as Cupid agreed with a small nod.

"Sushhh!" A low voice chimed in front of him.

Strife rolled his eyes and continued to eat hisstrange food.

"Hey, Arry, you gotta try these spicy meatballs,they're bitchen'!" Strife suggested, pushing the foodtowards Ares.

"Get that away from me!" Ares snorted, slapping the MischiefGod's hand away.

"Both of you shut-up, I'm trying to watch the play!"Cupid commanded in a hushed voice.

"GO, JOX! WOO-HOO!" Strife yelled, getting to his feetand doing a little dance.

"SHUSHHHH!" The same voice groaned ahead of them.

"Hey, fuck you!" Strife yelled back, throwing a meatball atthe man in front of him.

A large man stood up and faced Strife, looking downupon him.

"You have a death wish, twig boy?" The man growled.

"Ummm�noo. But your boots are untied." Strife replied.

The warrior looked down and Strife swung hard, hittingthe man straight in the nose.

"You little freak!" The man bellowed, charging atStrife.

Within minutes, a huge fight broke out, leavingAutolycus and Joxer frozen on stage.

"That's why they call me the Mischief God!" Strifecackled with glee.

"You are such an idiot!" Cupid yelled at his cousin.

"Yeah! Whatever, jealous!" Strife shot back coolly.

"Gods, you're strangly turning me on." Cupid growled.

"Yeah, well, not tonight." Strife stated, licking hislips.

"You are so annoying!" Cupid cried out in frustrationas the fight raged around them.

"No, you are." Strife said back in an erotic whisper.

"You are!" Cupid shot back, taking Strife's lips in afiery kiss.

"Oh Gods, give me a break!" Ares muttered, walkingtowards the stage to talk to his shocked and mildlyupset lover.

Ares stopped a foot before the stage and bent down.

"Hey, look, a earring!" Ares smiled up at his thinlover, picking the object up.

Joxer frowned back.

"Aphrodite didn't even come! That was the highlight ofthe show!" Autolycus yelled.

"Geeze, sorry! But I couldn't find my hairbrush! ButI'm here now so chill."

"Well, Dite, you take over, I gotta go cheer up Joxer."Ares winked at his sister.

The Love Goddess winked back as the War Godthrew a now smiling Joxer over his shoulder and flashed out in a glimmer of light.

"And tell Xena I still want my thong back!" Ares'voice echoed as he departed.

The End