AresJoxerCupidStrife - Kristina

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Title: Chaos in Corinth
Author: Kris Andersson
Shanna_se@yahoo.se
Archive: The list archives, anyone else, just let me
know so I can brag.
Rating: R
Pairing: J/A
Category: Humor/Romance
Disclaimers: I own nothing. Not even my cat.
Summary: Sequel to Countdown to Chaos. The Chaos stone
is bored…

Big hugs and thank you's goes out to my betas,
Christine and Carrie, who both have made this a much
easier for you all to read. ;) Beta's are the good
Samaritans of fanfiction!

Any mistakes left are mine and only mine. And if you
point them out to me, I'll be gratefull that you took
the time, and even write you a thank you note. ;)




Chaos in Corinth

"Joxer! Arion smiled at me!" Ares grinned proudly.

Hera smiled at her son, sitting in a comfy couch,
holding *his* son. "It's probably just gas, Ares. The
baby is too little to smile yet."

Ares frowned, "Hey, I can tell the difference between
a smile and *gas*. Arion smiled at me!" he insisted.

Joxer put his arms around Ares' shoulders from behind
and kissed the top of his husband's head. "I'm sure
you're right, love. If I could get pregnant, surely
Arion can smile." He sat down in the couch next to
Ares and the baby. Joxer had mostly recovered from the
delivery a week ago, but he was still weak.

Arion started to fuss and whimper.

"I think he's hungry again," Ares said. "Mother, can
you give me the bottle on the table?"

Hera complied and then chuckled as she watched Ares
feed his son. "You know, seeing Arion like this, he
kind of reminds me of Hercules," she mused.

"What?!" Ares growled.

"Well, he's making sounds similar to those Hercules
made during his Porkules days."

Ares grinned, "As long as it's only the sound that's
similar. Arion is much better looking than Hercules,
even if his looks *did* improve during his time as a
pig."

"Ooo… Herc trashing! Tha best way for a family ta
bond!" Strife leaned against the door post, giggling
madly. "Can I join? Ya know, making it a three
generation's kinda thing?"

"Not in front of the children, Dear," Hera gestured
towards Bliss, who'd arrived with Strife. "We can have
our fun later," she said to Strife and winked.

Bliss walked up to Ares, put a hand on his
grandfather's knee and watched as Arion ate. The
winged boy frowned, "Why does 'Ron eat from a bottle?
Me didn't. When Bliss was really little, me got food
from Mommy's boobs. How come Joxer doesn't have any?"

"Yeah, Hera. How come I can't feed Arion?" Joxer asked
with a pout. "Wasn't that the reason I had to suffer
through hours of pain, instead of having Arion taken
out as soon it was clear I really was in labor?" He
almost glared at Hera.

"I said there was a chance. We had to try, Joxer."
Hera defended herself. "Besides, isn't he worth it?"

Joxer smiled a dopey smile as he looked at his son.
Arion had finished his meal and was now expertly
burped by his other father. "Yes, he's worth
everything. I'm a lucky guy."

"Well then, now that that's settled, let's deal with
the real important questions," Hera said and sat down
in a chair and produced a scroll and a quill. "First,
are you getting Arion a nanny?"

Joxer frowned, " I don't know. I want Ares and I to be
the ones raising our son. Not a stranger. I want to
spend as much time with him as possible.

Ares nodded, "I want that too, Joxer. But I have my
duties to do. Strife can't manage war on his own. He
has his own godly duties as Mischief to take care of
too. And I really can't rely on Discord. And you have
to continue to train to use your powers, and soon Zeus
will announce your godhood, and then you'll get even
busier. 'Dite and I tried to manage on our own with
Cupid, but we couldn't both do our duties properly,
and take good care of Cupid. He spent a lot of his
first year being babysat by others, while we were
freaking out, trying to juggle our schedules and
finding babysitters. That didn't give him the
stability we wanted him to have and it stressed us
out. We eventually sat down, realizing it didn't work,
and got Cupid a nanny. At least it gave him stability.
Just one person to watch him, being able of staying in
his home and not be dragged around all over Olympus
every day. And it gave 'Dite and me a chance to relax,
enjoy our son and really *be* with him instead of
taking care of his basic needs and then keep an eye on
him while we were reading scrolls, making plots and
plans and other work related things. Maybe we should
get a nanny for the times when we can't be there, to
relieve us so we don't have to stress so much?"

Joxer sighed, "You're right. That way we can
concentrate on Arion completely and not have millions
of other stuff in our heads when we're supposed to
bond with Arion. But who to choose? I don't want to
hand my baby over to just somebody. And it must be
perfectly clear to her that *we* are Arion's parents.
I don't want to be shut out of my own son's life."

"How about Thalia?" Strife asked. "She told Cupes just
the other day, that she wouldn't mind another job for
a while, and she often baby-sits Bliss."

"Me not baby anymore!" Bliss interrupted indignantly
and pointed at Arion. "'Ron's the baby now. Thala
*boy-sits* Bliss now!" he said determinedly.

"OK, Bliss. You're a big boy now. Thalia often *boy*
sits Bliss, and is really good with children and
completely trustworthy," Strife said with a fond smile
at Bliss.

"Thalia, she's one of the Graces, isn't she?" Ares
asked.

Strife nodded, "Yep, she's tha grace that represents
friendship. 'Dite an' Cupes trust her completely."

"Then let's ask her, and if she says yes, we can have
a trial period. If it doesn't feel right, we'll try
something else," Joxer said and Ares nodded in
agreement.

"Good, then that's decided," Hera said and made a note
on her scroll. "Now, when will we have Arion and
Joxer's official presentation ceremony?"

"Presentation ceremony?" Joxer asked confused. "I
thought I already was introduced to the pantheon?"

"Yes, but the formal ceremony has to take place in the
mortal world. With Zeus or Hera and at least three
other gods from the pantheon recognizing you as a god
of our pantheon in front of the mortals," Ares
explained. "It's usually taken as an excuse for
most of the pantheon to party in the mortal realm."

"Yeah!" Strife exclaimed. "Even I had a great party!"
He frowned, "At least I think it was a great party, I
really can't remember."

"You partied too hard?" Joxer asked.

Strife shook his head, "Nah, I was only two months old
at the time."

"The point I think Strife is trying to make is that
the presentation ceremony is like a festival, a cause
for celebration for the city or place chosen. The city
will always have a special place in the god's heart.
And the people often sees that god as their patron,
which gives the god a good power base from the start."
Hera explained further, "That's why Athena and
Poseidon competed so hard for Athens. Both had their
ceremonies in that area, long before the city was ever
there, of course. You're one of the few lucky who get
to chose your own place. The last one to chose was
Psyche. She chose her home village."

Strife snorted, "Yeah, she wanted to show off for her
friends. I don't think she realized the importance or
she would've picked a bigger city, like Athens or
Mycene."

"'Cene Bliss 'pecial town!" Bliss piped up.

"That's right, Bliss. Your presentation ceremony was
in Mycene," Ares said and tousled Bliss' hair.

"So that's why Callisto and Valesca never were really
recognized as goddesses. Because they never had the
ceremony?" Joxer asked.

"Well, technically they were both goddesses. Just not
goddesses of our pantheon. And we tend to avoid gods
without a pantheon. They're considered bad luck. It
didn't help that both were stark raving mad either."
Hera wrinkled her nose.

"So, lover, you've got to decide where you want your
party, and if Arion should have his with yours, or if
we should wait a while and have his separately," Ares
smiled gently at his husband.

"I would like for Arion to be a full-fledged member of
the pantheon as soon as possible. I want him to
belong. Let's pick a big town and have both ceremonies
at once."

"So, what city?" Hera asked as she put down notes in
her scroll.

Joxer pondered on that for a minute, "I've always
liked Corinth," he finally said.

Strife frowned, "Isn't that where your…"

"Corinth is a great city!" Ares interrupted and
managed to glare at Strife and smile at Joxer at the
same time. "It's a good choice, love."

"Then Corinth it is," Hera said and scribbled
something down on her scroll. "I'll tell the other
gods to notify their temples in Corinth." She looked
up, "And someone needs to tell King Iphicles. But I
don't think it should be me. I don't want that poor
boy to have a heart attack."

"I'll ask Cupid to do it," Stride said. "So, when is
this whole shindig taking place?"

"We better take our time. Give Corinth time to prepare
and get used to the idea of a new festival. How about
a month from now?" Ares suggested.

"Sounds good," Joxer agreed and stroked his now
sleeping son's cheek with a finger. He laid his head
on Ares' shoulder and suppressed a yawn. He was tired
too, and really wanted to just curl up in bed and
snuggle with Ares.

Ares gently put a kiss on Joxer's head.

Hera smiled at the scene before her. They made a
beautiful portrait. She made the scroll and quill
disappear. "We can decide the rest later. I think it's
time to let you two be alone and rest for a while."
She stood up and grinned at Bliss. "Do you want to
come with me to the Valley? Gaea wants me to help with
some planting and you can visit Psyche at the same
time."

Bliss nodded and took his great grandmother's hand,
and they disappeared in a flash of purple sparkle.

"I guess it's time for me to leave too," Strife said
with a leery grin. "Cupid should be home by now and
thanks to Hera, we have some time for ourselves, if ya
know what I mean." He wiggled his eyebrows and left.

Ares stood up and carefully put Arion in his cradle.
He then turned to his husband. "You look beat," he
said softly. "Want to take a nap with me?"

Joxer nodded and reached out for Ares.

Ares pulled him up from the couch and just held him
for a while. Joxer hugged back and leaned against his
husband's chest. This was so *nice*.

Eventually, they moved to their bedroom where Ares
made certain they could hear Arion if he started to
fuss. He then joined Joxer in the bed. Snuggling up
against his back, kissing Joxer's neck. Just inhaling
Joxer's scent. He sighed contentedly. "This is
great," he mumbled against Joxer's back.

"Mhmmm…" was Joxer's only answer but he turned around,
eyes closed, laid his head on Ares' chest and cuddled
his husband as if he was a huge teddy bear. So Ares
didn't think he disagreed.



Part two


Jonus threw his cup at the wall in frustration. He'd
thought the bad luck finally had ended, and now this!
Sometimes, he suspected that the gods where against
him. So many strange incidents had happened. But why
would the gods be angry with him? He couldn't think of
anything he'd done that would've pissed off a god this
severely.

It had all started almost a year ago. At first, just
little things, silly pranks that only affected the
household. Like the time someone had switched around
the cook's spices which had made the stew an
interesting experience. Or the evening, just around
bedtime, it had been discovered that all the beds in
the house had gravel between the sheets. Or the
morning when his boots were filled with water when he
put them on.

Then events had slowly turned to the worse. Other
people began to notice, and every incident either made
the household look like fools or made them very
unpopular. Like when the cook had managed to give the
entire council food poisoning during a banquet or at
an important social event, all the seams in his wife
Jocasta's dress had given away, leaving her standing
buck naked in front of all the important people of
Athens. And there was more, during an inspection of
his troops, Jonus' saddle-girth had broken and he'd
fallen flat on his face in front of all his
subordinates.

A letter from Jonus to a friend where he slandered a
neighbor, was mistakenly delivered to said neighbor.
The ship bringing goods from Egypt that Jonus had felt
an incredible urge to invest half his fortune in
turned out to be a hoax.

There had been several more incidents like these, but
there was two incidents in particular that had made
the Jonus' household the laughingstock in Athens.

First Jocasta and her friends decided to have a
charity gala for the retirement of old war-horses. A
cause Jonus privately found quite stupid since very
few war horses were ever retired or had a chance to
grow old. The money was first planned to go to the
local orphanage that had suffered from a fire, but the
matron had the nerve not to laugh at one of Jocasta's
jokes and such an insult couldn't be ignored. So the
charity was changed to something more fitting.

Jocasta had long bragged about her beautiful singing
voice, and there fore was lead singer. And she usually
had a nice voice, but when the performance started and
Jocasta began to sing, she sounded worse than a frog.
The audience both laughed and booed. Jocasta ran from
the stage and didn't leave the house for two weeks.
Unfortunately, when she finally got the courage to
go to the market, it was the day after Jonus had
gotten drunk on some really bad wine.

Jonus was still not sure exactly what he'd done, but
he'd woken up in the fountain at the town square.
Rumors said he'd chased Hestia's priestesses screaming
at the top of his lungs, "Give Daddy some lovin'!" And
later he'd been running all over town, insisting that
he was a rooster.

After less than 30 minutes at the market place,
Jocasta returned, eyes blazing with both anger and
humiliation, lips pressed into a thin line and with an
ice cold voice announced to her husband that they were
moving, or she would make the rest of his life a
living Tartarus.

And since Jocasta was one of the few people Jonus was
afraid of, they moved to Corinth.

At first the move seemed to have quelled their bad
luck. Things had gone back to normal. Jonus got a good
position training part of Corinth's army. Jocasta made
new friends and soon ruled her little clique with an
iron fist, quite similar to the way Jonus ran his
troops. They both made new connections and were soon
accepted at court. Jonus troops excelled during a
little schism between Corinth and an aggressive
neighbor which won Jonus a seat in King Iphicles'
council. That put him in a position with a lot of
people to bully and harass. Life had been good.

And now it had started again. The hearth fire expired
and no matter how much they prayed and sacrificed to
Hestia, it was impossible to light it again.

And all the crops at the farm he'd invested in had
gone rotten while all the neighboring farms had had
record harvests.

Jocasta had stopped speaking to him after all her
dresses had shrunk into child size. She seemed to
blame him for not doing something about this. But what
could be done, except for praying to the gods and
suffer through it?

Well, at least life couldn't get much worse than this…



********************

"So what's this I hear about a festival?" Iolaus asked
Iphicles eagerly and practically bounced.

Iphicles smiled at his antics. It was good to see the
hunter and his brother again. "Yes, Corinth has been
chosen to host the presentation ceremony for two new
gods."

Hercules frowned, "You mean you have to host this
thing just because the gods say so?"

"Oh, don't be such a party pooper!" Iphicles
reprimanded his brother. "A festival like this one is
great for morale, and morale has been kind of low
lately. Besides, a city can't have too many patrons,
and now we get two for the price of one. In fact, it's

custom that the new god spends at least a week,
residing in the chosen town, usually in another god's
temple. But I invited them to stay in the palace so
they will feel welcome."

Hercules was still frowning. "Was that so wise? Do you
even know what they'll be gods of, or who they are for
that matter?"

"I don't think you'll have any problem with Iphicles'
guests, Jercules." A well-known voice called out, just
before two shapes started to materialize before them.
"And if you do, I'll make you suffer, Zeus' protection
or not."

The big bad god of war held a baby in his arms. The
pretty brown-haired woman held a familiar black cat.

Before Hercules could retort, a loud crash was heard
from the broom closet. The door opened and Joxer
walked out. "Hi!" He waved. "I haven't quite got the
hang of the whole transporting myself at will thingy,"
he admitted sheepishly.

Ares went to his husband, and first gave him a kiss,
and then the baby." You're getting better every time
you practice," he said gently. "You'll get the hang of
it soon. You were only a couple of meters off this
time."

Hercules gaped. "You're a god now, Joxer?"

Joxer nodded. "Yeah, I kinda had to, or we would've
lost Arion." He cooed at the baby.

Ares sneaked an arm around his husband's waist and
pulled him close. "Not to mention you," he said and
kissed Joxer's cheek.

Iolaus eyes sparkled with joy. "So *that's* why you
kept throwing up when you traveled with us!" he
grinned.

Joxer nodded shyly.

Hercules pulled his jaw off the floor. "You've had a
baby?!" He gave Joxer a dazzling smile.
"Congratulations!"

Joxer smiled shyly. "Thanks."

Herc turned to Ares, "So that was the reason you where
looking for Falafel! You should've told me the reason
Joxer wanted hotdogs, then I wouldn't have given you
such a hard time about it." He shuddered, "I remember
having a spouse with food cravings..."

Seeing Joxer frowning, he quickly said, "I'm so happy
for you, Joxer! Being a father was the greatest thing
that ever happened to me. I'm sure you'll feel the
same way. Just wait until Gabrielle and Xena arrive!
Gabby will be thrilled!"

Joxer bit his lip, "I hope so..."

Ares' arms tightened around him, as the wargod did his
best to comfort his mate. Joxer sighed and leaned into
the embrace.

Iolaus, who'd noticed Joxer's worried frown and Ares'
subdued growl at the mentioning of Gabrielle said,
"I'm sure she'll be happy for you. I know she had a
hard time accepting your relationship in the
beginning, but you've been together for so long
now that she has to have realized how well you fit
together."

Hercules nodded, "I couldn't believe it myself at
first, it seemed unbelievable. But no one who'd
observed you two together could think anything else
than that you're a perfect match. Besides, I thought
you and Gabby made up and became friends again?"

"We did," Joxer answered. "I guess I'm just afraid
this will upset her again. I don't want to lose her as
a friend. Gabrielle may have some bad moments, but she
has her good moments too."

Ares repressed the urge to laugh out loud and simply
said, "I'm sure you're right." He then noticed
Iphicles who, during their conversation had stood and
quietly eyeing Thalia, who was still holding Mjau.
"Oh, this is Thalia," He made a gesture towards
the woman. "The Grace of Friendship. She's acting as
Arion's nanny for the time being. Thalia, this is King
Iphicles of Corinth, our brother Hercules, who I think
you've met, and Iolaus, the Hunter."

Thalia looked shyly at Iphicles, gave Hercules a
polite nod and smiled at Iolaus. "Oh, we Graces have
all heard of Iolaus, favored by Aphrodite."

Iolaus grinned, "Really? Did ya hear that, Herc? I'm
famous on Olympus!"

Thalia nodded smiling, "Yes, no one can make Aphrodite
laugh like you can. Sometimes, when she's feeling
down, we mention your name, and before we know it,
Aphrodite is roaring with laughter."

Iolaus' face fell, "Oh...," Then he shrugged, "I
rather have a goddess laughing at me than throwing
fire balls after me..." The thought of Discord made
him shudder.

Iphicles suddenly realized he wasn't a good host and
reluctantly teared his eyes away from the cute
goddess. "Perhaps you want me to show you your rooms,"
he asked Ares.

Ares began to nod, and then froze. "You better show
them to Joxer," he said and turned to his husband.
"I'm sorry, love. But someone want's my attention
badly, in my temple in Mycene."

Joxer gave his spouse a comforting smile, "It's
alright, Ares. You know where to find us when you're
done."

Ares smiled back and then kissed his son and husband
goodbye and left.



Part three

Jett entered the Temple of War and marched straight up
to the first priest he put his eyes on. "What do you
do to get Ares' attention?" he asked. "Is it enough
with a prayer, or do I have to make a sacrifice or
some other crap?" he growled.

The priest stared at the leather clad man and then
answered with a frown, "First of all, you've got to
treat our Lord Ares with the respect he deserves. You
should always pray whether you need something or not,
to keep Ares happy. A sacrifice is needed for a big
request, but make sure it's a worthy gift to the God
of War. And then if our Lord Ares feels charitable he
might grant your wish. If you're blessed and deserves
the personal interest of our god." He looked down his
nose at Jett, clearly doubting that he ever would be
worthy of Ares' attention. After all, the priest
himself had only met Ares twice, both times at
festivals. So what chance could this rude man, who
didn't seem to know the simplest things about worship,
have? "Your chances might improve if you make a large
contribution to the temple itself," he added.

Jett shook his head and snorted, "That's too much
trouble for my taste. I guess I have to do this the
herculean way. At least I know that that way works!"

The assassin walked up to the altar and pushed down
most of the offerings placed there. "Ares!" he yelled.
"Yo! God of War! I need to talk to you!"

The priest Jett had talked to, moved forward, red in
the face, furious over the leather clad man's
insolence. He would have to teach the man a lesson.
The elderly priest, who seemed to be in charge,
grabbed his arm and stopped him. "Don't!" he said.

The younger priest stuttered, "But..!"

The high priest shook his head. "Can't you see that
the man has death in his eyes? How can we serve our
Lord if we all are in Hades' domain? It's better to
let our Lord deal with this man." He started to shove
both the other priests and the worshippers out of the
temple. "Let's give the man some privacy!" he ordered.


Jett paid no attention to the fleeing people. He took
up an ornamented urn and was about to throw it on the
floor when he hesitated. Maybe pissing off the War God
more than necessary wasn't such a good idea after all?
Hercules could afford to do it. But he was half god
himself and had Zeus' protection.

Jett grinned and smashed the urn. He had something
even better. Joxer would be very upset if something
happened to his brother. And Ares wouldn't want to
upset his consort. At least Jett hoped so. He could be
wrong. But the thrill of not knowing made him grin
with anticipation as the War God materialized.

Ares just stood there, arms crossed over his chest, an
eyebrow slightly raised. "You rang?" he asked
sarcastically.

Jett just glared at him. "I heard some interesting
news," he said. "Autolycus said that Hermes had told
him that Joxer had a baby. Since it came from the God
of Liars, I took it with a grain of salt. But then I
ran into Salmoneus and he babbled something about
Joxer being a god now. And then I heard about the
festival in Corinth. Is any of this true?"

Ares nodded, "Yes, Joxer had a baby and he's a god
now." He had to admit he was a bit curious where all
this was going.

"Joxer loves you," Jett continued and absentmindedly
looked at an ornamented dagger which had avoided being
shoved off the altar earlier. "He let you give him
that kitten, and now a baby too. And I assume you have
feelings for Joxer as well, since I doubt you gods
take every mortal you sleep with as your consort. I've
never been interested in the gods. As long as they
don't bother me, I wont bother them is a philosophy
that's been working for me this far. But I've heard
about you, of course. You have quite a reputation as a
war god. But no one has said anything bad about you as
a lover or a father. At any rate, you're a lot better
than that blonde bard." He picked up the dagger. The
balance was nice but the dagger was way too flashy for
Jett's taste. "However, I have no idea how things work
on Olympus, but Joxer is my brother. And nobody hurts
my brother! Not even the gods..."

Ares just stared at the man. Did he really just
threaten a god?

Jett continued, "I hope that you and Joxer will live
happily ever after, I really do. But if you don't...
Hurt my brother and you'll be sorry..." He grinned,
"You see, a while ago I was hired to get rid of an
abusing husband by the wife's family. They were
desperate to get rid of their in-law, so they paid
good. And besides a lot of money, I got a family
treasure. Just a small bottle handed down from
generation to generation. Not a very expensive bottle,
but what was in it made it unique. Even more so
now. You see, long before Zeus decided to get rid of
all the Hinds, an ancestor to my client found one
wounded. He helped the beast back to health, and as a
thank you, the Hind allowed him to bottle some of it's
blood..."

Ares paled.

Jett smirked and nodded, "Yep, I have in my possession
probably the only Hind's blood left in the world." His
eyes gleamed maniacally. "I've never killed a god. I
bet it would be a wonderful experience, even if I had
to risk my life to get it done. And it would look so
good on my resume. But don't worry, as long as Joxer
is happy, I'll fight the temptation."

Ares looked at the assassin and decided to be honest.
"If I hurt Joxer, you're welcome to try to kill me,"
he said.

Jett narrowed his eyes at the Wargod and sternly
asked, "You'll protect him?"

"I will," Ares promised.

"Good," Jett said and put the dagger back on the
altar. "And if you ever need some of that protection
done by someone not bound by Olympic law... Just let
me know. I'm still Joxer's big bad brother, and any
family of Jox's is my family too. So I'll throw your
family in to this offer as well."

Ares grinned, "I'll remember that." He turned around
and stared into what Jett thought was thin air. "Well,
Strife? You definitely are family so what's the point
in staying invisible? And why are you hiding from a
mortal in the first place?"

Strife became visible. He grinned. "Hey, the dude was
talking about Hind's blood and holding a dagger. I, of
all people, am not prepared to take any chances." He
shuddered at the awful memories. "And Aunt Fortune is
still pissed about that little prank I pulled."
Mischief sniggered, "How was I supposed to know that
the itching powder would make her take off all her
clothes in front of the whole pantheon?"

Ares just shook his head at Strife's antics and turned
to Jett again. "This is my nephew, Strife, God of
Mischief, in case you haven't figured that out
already. He's also my son Cupid's lover and first
lieutenant of War."

Jett raised an eyebrow, "Love and Mischief, huh?" He
smirked, "I guess you God's really do like to keep
things in the family..."

Strife giggled, "Oh, Unc! I *like* this mortal!"

"I'm glad you approve of my choice of in-laws," Ares
replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "But don't
you have something to do in Sparta?"

Strife blinked, "Oh shit! I almost forgot!" He
disappeared in a flash.

And left Ares and Jett alone in the temple staring at
each other. An embarrassing silence settled. Ares
didn't know what more to say. Everything important had
been settled and now he was faced with the universal
problem of finding proper conversational subjects with
the in-laws. He finally decided to go the traditional
way. The common relation. "Are you going to Corinth to
visit Joxer and Arion?" he asked.

Jett smiled, a genuine warm smile this time. "You guys
named the kid Arion? That was Joxer's favorite story
as a child."

Ares nodded, "Joxer chose it and it fits the child. He
loves music all ready."

"I'll probably leave for Corinth tomorrow," Jett said.
"I have a job to do. As a matter of fact, I need to
get going." He grinned evilly, "Death waits for no
one..."

Ares nodded, "Yeah, Thanatos is a bitch for
punctuality."

Jett blinked, "Anyway, if Joxer, Arion, or someone
else Jox considers family, gets in trouble, let me
know. I'll help any way I can."

"That's good to know," Ares said and watched the
assassin leave the temple.


************************

Bliss smiled and gave his thistle, eh, mother some
more water. "Is this enough, Mommy?" he asked. "I hope
it will make you grow faster."

He frowned, "Maybe you need some green beans? Daddy
says I have to eat them to grow, so maybe you need
them too."

The godling bit his lip, "I don't mind you being a
flower. I think you're pretty like this too, but I
miss your hugs. So, please grow up. Daddy says when I
grow up, I'll be a god. So if you grow, I guess you'll
become a goddess again."

He wiped away a tear and rose. "I'll go and ask Nana
Gaia about those green beans."

Psyche mentally sighed. Bliss' visits where the only
thing that stopped her from freezing up completely.
She was aware all the time, and could hear everyone's
voices, but it was Bliss' voice that made her stay, to
not let go. How she loved this little boy. She'd
always loved him. But somehow, she'd gotten lost from
herself during her stay on Olympus. The mortal Psyche
would never have used her own son as a pawn. The
mortal Psyche wouldn't have cheated on her husband
either. But after becoming a goddess, she'd felt like
she was all powerful. That she could do anything
without any consequences. After all, she was a
goddess, and scheming and unfaithfulness was a part of
life on Olympus, right? She'd lived fast, throwing
herself from affair to affair, from scheme to scheme,
anything to avoid having to take a good look at
herself and her life.

Well, being turned into a plant had given her a lot of
time for self contemplation. And Psyche didn't like
the person she'd become. She'd become a selfish bitch
who'd hurt people for sport. Especially people who
didn't deserve it. Like Bliss and Cupid. She didn't
blame Joxer and his accidental wish. She didn't even
blame the Chaos stone. She'd had it coming.

Looking back, she'd realized that she'd been more in
love with the thought of being in love, than in love
with Cupid. Everything had happened so quickly. One
day, she was flirting with a reluctant Hercules, and
the next, the God of Love starts to court her. And
bam! She'd ended up as a married goddess with a child
on the way.

A child she'd hurt terribly. A child who still loved
her, despite everything. Who kept her company, who
sang for her and loved her just as much as the thistle
she'd become as the beautiful goddess she once was.

She just hoped she'd be able to make it up to him one
day.

The thistle made a little shiver. Psyche frowned, had
she'd just moved a little? No, it must have been her
imagination.

Bliss entered the room, carrying a plate of green
beans. Psyche couldn't wait to find out how he'd
planned to feed them to her.

****************************



part four


"YOU'VE HAD A WHAT!?"

"A baby," Joxer said, smiling proudly.

"A baby," Gabrielle repeated weakly.

"And I'm a god now," Joxer added.

"A god," Gabrielle whispered.

Joxer's chin shivered, "Aren't you happy for me,
Gabby?" he asked plaintively.

Everybody else in the room stared threateningly at
Gabrielle.

"Of course I'm happy for you!" Gabrielle said and gave
Joxer a bone crushing hug. "You just surprised me,
that's all."

Xena smiled, relieved. You never knew how Gabrielle
would react when there were gods involved. She was so
glad that Gabrielle had taken this well!

Gabrielle felt Joxer happily hugging her back and
smiled weakly. Poor Joxer, first in a bad relationship
with Ares. Because how could a relationship with Ares
be anything but bad? And now having a baby. What kind
of a father could the God of War be?

A terrible one! She had to help Joxer. Save him from
his own bad decisions. And the best way to save him
and really make him happy would be to get him away
from Ares. She would have to continue trying to set
him up with someone else. Once Joxer was away from
Ares' influence he would come to his senses, or at
least see things a little more clearly. Realize that
he didn't really love Ares, because who could love the
god of war? Joxer just had a little crush, that was
all. If he met someone else he would see that.

"Oh, here's Arion!" Joxer exclaimed as Thalia entered
the room carrying the baby god.

Thalia, smiling, handed over Arion to his father and
sat down next to Iphicles. "He's had his nap and his
dinner, now all he needs is a bit of attention," she
said.

"He'll always have my attention," Joxer grinned. "Have
you given Hermes the Nanny ad?"

Thalia nodded, "Yes, he said he'd get right on it."

"The Nanny ad?" Hercules asked.

"Yes, Thalia is unfortunately only temporary, so we'll
need a new nanny. Hermes is spreading the word on
Olympus," Joxer explained and turned to Iphicles.
"Then we'll have hiring interviews until we find the
perfect nanny for Arion. Do you mind if we start
having them here?"

Iphicles tore his eyes away from Thalia and said, "Not
at all."

Joxer turned back to Gabrielle, "This is my son,
Arion. Arion, this is your Auntie Gabby." With a smile
he gestured for Gabby to hold the baby which she did.

Gabrielle stared into Arion's deep blue eyes. The baby
was adorable. "He has your smile," she told Joxer.

Joxer grinned. "Ares thinks so too," he said.

Gabrielle ignored that and turned back her attention
to the baby in her arms. There was no way she could
let such a miracle grow up having Ares as a father.
She had to find a better man for Joxer! How hard could
it be to find a good man for a god?

Even if the god was Joxer.

***********************

Jonus sat down on his chair and suppressed a moan. The
strange rash he had on his butt seemed to be
spreading. None of the salves he'd gotten from both
Asclepius' and Apollo's healers had worked, in fact,
they seemed to make things even worse. It itched and
ached and made sitting down extremely uncomfortable.

Iphicles pronounced the council meeting open and
turned to Jonus, "Will you have the honor of reading
last meeting's protocol, Jonus?" he asked.

Jonus preened with pride and grabbed the scroll,
unfolded it and was about to read. He froze. There was
no letters on the scroll, just little bugs moving, and
jumping all over it. It made no sense at all.

A year ago, Jonus would've thrown away the scroll and
demanded that who ever the prankster was would be
flogged for daring to make fun of him, but with
everything that had happened, he couldn't be sure it
was a prank.

With is face half frozen and half growling he turned
to the young council member next to him, "Why not let
Solfis read it today, sire? He hasn't read it before."


Iphicles nodded, smiling, "A good idea, Jonus." He was
so lucky to have such a wise and modest man on his
council. This would give Solfis some much needed
confidence. Those rumors about Jonus and his wife must
be false. A man who was a bully wouldn't give away a
prestigious task to a much weaker man. He'd do
everything possible to put the other man down!

Jonus could barely keep his face immobile when Solfis
cheerfully began to read, "This is the protocol of the
most noble King Iphicles, Corinth's wise ruler and
greatest pride's council's meeting that took place..."


This wasn't happening! Instead of things turning to
the better, they had escalated. The hearth was still
impossible to light. Jocasta farted every time she sat
down, and now, someone had taken away his ability
read. That was so unfair! It had taken him five years
to learn!

And worst of all... Jonus had always had a big sexual
appetite. Alone, with his wife or with someone else,
it didn't matter. He could perform several times
everyday despite his age. But not anymore. Not with
Jocasta, which he really didn't mind, or by himself
which was worse but still bearable. But not being able
to get it up when he had a sixteen year old gorgeous
girl in bed was humiliating!

Who could he have pissed off so badly?

***************

Joxer sighed and leaned into the gentle kiss. He
reveled in it as Ares' tongue danced in his mouth, a
slow movement that made him tremble. He felt
intoxicated and tightened his arms around the WarGod
as he kissed back, a jolt running through him as
Ares' hand slid up his back and into his hair.

Ares let out a small moan of longing, burrowing his
face in the crook of Joxer's neck, deeply inhaling his
consort's scent. He then unbuttoned Joxer's shirt, ran
his hands over the smooth, warm skin underneath, just
about to let his lips start the journey over Joxer's
chest when...

"Yoohoo! Are you guys in here?" Gabrielle's voice cut
through the door and Ares loosened his embrace with a
moan.

"I don't believe this," he muttered, sat up on the
sofa and started to button Joxer's shirt as Gabrielle
entered the room, oblivious to what she'd interrupted.


"Just be glad she bothered to knock," Joxer whispered.


"I know it's kinda late, but the first applicant is
here now!" Gabrielle announced with a smile.

Joxer frowned, "What applicants?"

"For the nanny position, of course, silly!" Gabby
grinned. "I decided to help you so I spread the word
and someone has arrived already!"

"But Hermes was going to..." Ares started and then
frowned, "Wait a minute, you want us to interview
*mortals*!!"

"Of course!" Gabrielle turned to Joxer. "You started
out as mortal. You can't deny Arion half his legacy.
And honestly, don't you think that if Arion learns to
know mortals at an early age, he'll be a better god
when he grows up?"

"What a load of..." Ares said.

"She does have a point, Ares," Joxer interrupted.
"Although, I wish you'd discussed this with us first,
Gabrielle, it can't hurt to interview mortals too. It
would be a shame to miss out on a great nanny just
because she's mortal." He looked at his husband with
big brown, pleading puppy eyes.

Ares couldn't resist. "All right," he nodded. "I guess
it can't hurt..." He glared at Gabrielle, who smirked
at him when Joxer wasn't looking.

"I'll go and send her in." She said and left.

A minute later a woman entered.

Joxer frowned, it seemed to be something off about
her. She was large with gray hair and had on a long
ugly green dress that reminded Joxer of his great
grandmother. And for some reason her face looked...
fake.

"Oh, hello, dearies!" She said in a high voice. "I'm
Mrs. Doubtfire, and if you hire me, I'll be the
nanniest nanny you've ever had. I'll even bake
cookies."

Ares blinked, she reminded him of Widow Twanky.

"What are your qualifications?" Joxer asked.

"Oh, I've done lot's of things in my days, sweeties.
I've helped politicians, and I've worked in a pet
store so children should be a piece of pie. I even was
a cheerleader once! By the way, I can sing and cuddle
like a pro. And I'm really good at changing napkins.
I've heard you have to do that a lot around babies. I
can change the whole table! And if that isn't enough,
I can dance the bunny hop." The woman promptly began
to show them.

Joxer blinked, "Don't you mean *nappies*?"

Mrs. Doubtfire froze and bit her lip. "I can't do
this," she sniveled. "I've Earthed up! I've been lying
to you. But I can't any longer. I have to wash my
conscience!" She raised her hands to her face. "You
see, I have a real hard time getting a job, so I
thought this would help me. But you saw right through
me!" By now, her voice was much darker.

"We did?" Ares asked, a bit surprised.

"Yes! With your clever questions. I can't go on with
this sham no more!" The woman grabbed her own cheeks
and pulled. And strangely enough, the face fell off
and showed another face underneath. A nice face with
tousled hair, several laugh-lines, a wide mouth and
bright eyes. A male face. Which looked quite miserable
at the moment.

"I only did it to make Mindy happy. I thought I'd have
a bigger chance of finding a job here in the past,
since there are more people in the present. First I
went to my friend, the Fonze to get advice on where to
go. I explained my theory to him. And he said it
sounded like Greek to him so I went here. But there
are fewer jobs here than in the future. So I thought I
would've a bigger chance of getting the job if I
pretended to be a woman. I'm a nimmod! A crilmuck! A
nimnul! A complete loser."

The man stepped out of the dress. He was now dressed
in some sort of beige pants, a shirt with orange and
black stripes and suspenders in every color of the
rainbow.

Joxer just stared. He kinda liked the outfit.

"Who are you?" Ares almost growled.

"I'm Mork from Ork," the man said sadly. "I'll be
going now. I'm sorry for the inconvenience." He walked
backwards towards the door, raised his hand and waved.
"Na-no, na-no!" he said and disappeared.

After a moment, Joxer turned to Ares. "Did I just
dream that we had a visitor?"

Ares hugged his consort. "I hope so," he answered.
"And if you didn't, let's pretend that you did, and
that I shared your dream. I think that would be
easiest for our senses in the long run."

"You can share my dreams all the time," Joxer said and
leaned up for a kiss.

********************

_In a time far, far away..._

"Mork calling Orson, Mork calling Orson, come in,
Orson!"



Part five


"Oh, I didn't know anyone was in here, this early."
Iphicles said the next morning as he entered the
library.

Thalia looked up from the book she was reading and
blushed. "Hercules wanted to have some time to get to
know his new nephew, so I got some time off. I hope
you don't mind me reading your books..."

"Oh, not at all!" Iphicles quickly reassured her. "Eh,
I don't really know how to put this... But Ares knows
that Herc is watching his son, doesn't he?"

Thalia smiled, "Of course. I don't think there would
be much left of Corinth, if Ares discovered that
Hercules was taking care of Arion without his
permission."

Iphicles let out a relieved sigh and laughed
nervously. "Exactly. I love my brother... But having
him and Ares in Corinth at the same time, is not good
for my nerves."

"I don't think you have to worry," Thalia said. "Joxer
has calmed Ares down, and I doubt that Ares, even at
his worst would do anything to endanger one of his
sons."

"Really?" Iphicles asked a bit surprised and sat down
in the chair next to Thalia's.

Thalia looked at him knowingly, "There is a whole
different side of Ares, that I doubt Hercules has ever
seen. In fact, he usually only shows it to members of
the Houses of War and Love."

"Oh," Iphicles sighed, "I guess there's a lot of sides
of things that my brother never sees."

"I have found that not seeing all sides of things, and
people too for that matter, is something Gods and
mortals have in common," Thalia said. "Most people
sees me only as the Grace of Friendship, a good
friend, great caretaker of children, and attendant of
Aphrodite. Someone to turn to when in need, but rather
boring to be around otherwise. Most times, people
don't even see me as a whole person. I'm just one of
the Graces. One third of an entity. It's kind of
annoying. I have other sides too.
For example, I love to dance, but since I'm not the
Muse of Dancing, no one hardly ever asks me to. Sure,
I'm not as good as Terpsichore, but I think that
what's most important is that you have fun, not how
good you are at it."

Iphicles smiled, "I know, I like to dance too. But I'm
not very good at it. Rena used to say..." He stopped
and looked down. Talking about Rena still hurt
sometimes.

Thalia took his hand, "It's hard to lose someone you
love. If you need to talk with someone, I'm a great
listener. It comes with the Grace of Friendship
title."

Iphicles smiled again, "It's getting easier, but it's
still hard sometimes. But I know that Rena would want
me to move on. So, I might ask you for a dance one of
these days."

Thalia smiled, "I'd like that."

The doors to the library opened and two guards dragged
a third, struggling man into the library.

"I'm telling you, I have a good reason to be here!
I'll have you know I'm a very good personal friend of
Hercules and he won't like that I've gotten this kind
of treatment!" He spotted Iphicles. "Hey, Your
Majesty! Iphicles, tell these morons I'm innocent,
will ya." He glared at one of the guards and tried to
free his arm. "Hey! Watch the clothes!"

Iphicles rolled his eyes at Autolycus' antics. "I
wouldn't call him innocent... But let him go," he
ordered his guards.

Autolycus huffed. "Thank you," he said with
exaggerated dignity, glaring at the guards as they
exited. Then he saw Thalia. "Hello, my beauty," he
purred and winked to her.

"Hello, Autolycus, son of Hermes," Thalia answered. "I
haven't seen you since you were in diapers."

"Eww..." Auto moaned. "How am I supposed to flirt with
you after hearing something like that?"

"Then don't," Iphicles practically growled. "You are
here for the festival, I presume?"

Auto nodded. "Yes, and to see Joxer and the baby, of
course."

"Arion is with Hercules and Iolaus," Thalia said with
a smile. "And they are in Hercules' room."

"That's the room he usually uses," Iphicles clarified.
"So why don't you go and join them?" he suggested
sweetly.

Auto grinned, "Don't worry, Iphie, I can see when I'm
not wanted."

"Don't call me Iphie," Iphicles sighed.

"Sure, Iphie, whatever you say," Auto said with a
smirk and turned around to leave.

"And be aware that you'll be strip searched every time
you leave the castle!" Iphicles shouted to his back.
He then turned to Thalia and smiled, "Now, about that
dance..."


******************

Auto smirked and walked down the empty corridor. It
was still too early for most members of the court to
be up and about and all servants were probably busy
preparing the breakfast meal. Iphicles could threaten
with strip searches until he was blue in the face, but
if Auto wanted to 'liberate' some of Iphicle's
possessions, he could do it easily. Auto knew of at
least three different hidden exits from the castle,
that Iphicles didn't know about. But he had promised
Hermes he wouldn't steal anything during this visit.
And Auto always kept the promises he made to his
father.

Which was a pity 'cause the tapestry on the wall over
there was really neat and seemed to have threads of
gold in it. He stepped closer to take a better look.
Yes, it was real gold threads.

That was the last thing Autolycus noticed, before the
world went black.


********************


Joxer sighed satisfactorily and snuggled close to
Ares. "I like this," he said.

Ares snorted, "I'd hope so, it would put a big strain
on our marriage if you didn't."

"I didn't mean that!" Joxer giggled. "Of course I like
it! I love it. But what I like is that you always
listen."

"How do you mean?" Ares asked.

"When I was alone, which I often was," Joxer said. "I
used to tell myself all my thoughts and wonders, since
I didn't have anyone else to tell. But even when I met
someone to tell it to, I thought I'd already said
everything. That I would only be repeating myself and
whomever I was with would just get annoyed or mad with
me. So we never had anything to talk about. Until I
met you, 'cause you don't mind if I tell you the same
thing twice. I don't think I've told you how much I
appreciate that."

Ares smiled and placed a kiss on Joxer's temple. "I
like to hear you talk," he said.

"And I love that you listen," Joxer said and kissed
Ares on the cheek before scooting off the bed. "I'm
getting some grape juice, you want some?"

"No, thanks," Ares said and laid back, admiring the
view of Joxer's naked backside. And then the front
when Joxer returned with a full glass of juice.

Noticing Ares' looks, Joxer blushed and tripped on the
carpet. The bed caught his fall, but he spilled the
juice all over the bed.

Joxer bit his lip and looked at the ruined bed. "Oops!
I didn't mean to do that." He hastily grabbed his
pants and a tunic and started to get dressed. "Someone
really should talk to Iphicles about that carpet. It's
a safety hazard." Before Ares could reply, Joxer was
already at the door, only half dressed, carrying his
boots. "I better go after new bedclothes. And you said
you had to go to Sparta today, so if you have to leave
before I get back," He ran back to the bed and placed
a kiss on his husband's lips. "I'll see you later."

Before Ares couldn't do anything else than to just
shake his head and smile, Joxer left their bedroom.
He'd completely forgotten that both of them where
gods, and easily could (Well, Ares could at least.)
summon new bedclothes at will. Not to mention that
the servants would soon come to make the bed anyway.
And Ares didn't have the heart to remind him. He loved
Joxer just the way he was, and he suspected a part of
Joxer would always be the clumsy mortal he'd first
met; no matter how many centuries Joxer now would
live.

And Ares wouldn't want to have it any other way.
Hearing someone knocking on the door, he quickly
dressed himself before answering.

A blonde girl in a very boring brown dress looked at
him meekly.

"Yes?" he asked.

"I'm here about the Nanny position," she said.

Silently cursing Gabrielle, Ares said, "Come in and
sit down and tell me about yourself," while gesturing
to a chair.

The girl sat down. "I am Maria," she said. "I've spent
most of my life as a novice at Hestia's temple here in
Corinth. But the high priestess said I should try
something else for a while. And since I firmly believe
that when our goddess closes the door, somewhere, she
opens a window, I decided to take a chance and apply
to this position."

Ares just stared at her.

"I love to sing, and I go to the hills when my heart
is lonely," Maria continued. "And a few of my favorite
things are raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.
Brown paper packages tied up with strings are also
fun.

Ares suppressed a moan, he really, really, wanted to
kill Gabrielle. A wargod simply shouldn't have to
interview a Hestian virgin. It wasn't good for his
image. The things he did for love. He just hoped that
no one ever found out about this. He'd be the
laughing stock in the House of War.


********************


Joxer cheerfully trotted down the corridor. Gabby had
said that the closet holding more bedclothes was the
one with a broom and a bucket painted on the door.
Joxer would've thought it more logical for bedclothes
and such to be stored in one of the closets with a bed
painted on their doors, but Gabby was way smarter than
he was, so she was probably right.

He found the door with a broom and a bucket, opened it
and looked in, it was quite dark in there, but he was
almost sure there was somebody laying on the floor. He
stepped inside for a closer look. To Joxer's surprise,
he recognized the body. It was Auto. Joxer bent down
and touched him to make sure the thief was still
alive. Auto moved a little and moaned.

Joxer was about to ask if he was all right, when the
door suddenly slammed shut.

"What's going on?" a groggy Auto asked.

"The door closed," Joxer explained helpfully. He
walked up to the door and felt on the handle, "And
we're locked in."

Auto sat up and moaning touched the back of his head.
"Someone knocked me out," he said. "And I haven't even
had a chance to piss anyone off yet!"

Joxer moved back to Auto. "How do you feel?" he asked
worriedly.

Auto rolled his eyes. "Like someone hit me in the head
with a blunt object," he answered, his voice dripping
with sarcasm. "How do you think I feel?"

Joxer blushed, "I mean, are you seeing double, or
feeling nauseated or something like that?" He was
still worried for his friend.

"Nah, I just have a bump as big as a dragon egg in the
back of my head." Auto looked around he room. It was
dark, small and cluttered with brooms, buckets and
other cleaning utensils. The only source of light in
the room was the small gap between the door and the
floor. He looked a Joxer. "I guess whoever knocked me
out put me in this room, but why are you here?"

"I was looking for bedclothes," Joxer explained.

Auto blinked, "In something that's obviously a storage
room for brooms and buckets?"

Joxer nodded happily and was about to explain his
reasoning. But Auto held up a hand, "Hold it! I don't
think I want to know."

He ran a hand through his hair, and tentatively
touched the bump in his head and made a face of pain.
"So, you came in here looking for bedclothes then what
happened?"

"I saw you laying on the floor, went inside the room,
touched you, and the door closed. I guess there must
have been a draft or something."

Auto raised his eyebrows, "Or the door was shut by the
same person who knocked me out."

Joxer bit his lip, "I guess so... But who would want
to lock you and me in a closet? It's not a very funny
prank."

Auto rolled his eyes again and mumbled under his
breath, "A prank? Yeah, right!" But he didn't think
there was any idea to say anything to Joxer. If Joxer
thought it was a prank, he wouldn't believe otherwise
until the truth jumped up in his face and screamed at
him. Joxer always wanted to believe the best in
people.

He searched trough all his pockets and other hiding
places. "Hades! Someone has frisked me good. They've
taken everything. I don't have anything that can help
me open the lock. They even took the knife I hid in my
boot, so I can't even try to carve through the door.
Do you have anything?"

Joxer patted down his clothes. "Only this string," he
said and gave it to Auto.

Auto took it, "I doubt I can use it, but it's better
than nothing." He bent down at the door and peaked
into the lock. "Why don't you see if there's anything
else we can use?" he suggested.

Joxer nodded and looked around. He couldn't see
anything useful. He got an idea and concentrated. Two
seconds later he had an amphora in his hands. "Can we
use this?" he asked.

Auto turned around to take a look. "Nah," he answered.
"If we tried to use it to brake up the door, we would
only succeed in braking the amphora." He turned back
to the lock and continued to try to catch the locking
mechanism in the little snare he'd done with the
string.

Joxer put down the amphora and concentrated again. A
moment later he held a bouquet of wildflowers. "Can we
use these?" he asked.

Auto looked up. "No, the stalks are too soft," he
explained. "They'd probably just break and get stuck
inside the lock, and then we'd be in even more trouble
than now." He returned to the lock.

Joxer put the flowers in the amphora, and focused
again. A large fish appeared. "Do we have any use for
a fish?" he asked.

Auto snorted and didn't bother to turn around, "Only
if we get stuck in here for days. And I hope they'll
start looking for us before then."

Joxer sighed and put the fish down. He closed his eyes
and concentrated like he'd never concentrated before.
Two seconds later he held Xena's armor and leather
outfit in his arms. Even the tunic she wore under it.
"Oh, dear..." Joxer said and stared at the outfit in
horror.

"Hey, Joxer! Where did you find this stuff anyway?"
Auto said and turned around. "I mean, flowers and fish
aren't exactly what you expect to find in a broom..."
he stopped and just stared at Xena's outfit. "Is that
what I think it is?" he finally asked.

Joxer nodded unhappily, "Xena's going to be so mad at
me!"

Auto blinked, "Joxer, how did you end up with Xena's
clothes?" he asked slowly.

"I was trying to summon something we could use to get
out with, but I'm not so good at this god stuff yet,
so..."

"God stuff?!" Auto interrupted. "You're a god, now?"

Joxer nodded. "I had to become one, or we might've
lost Arion," he explained.

Auto closed his eyes, took a deep calming breath and
asked; "A god can move himself from one place to
another at will, right?"

Joxer nodded, "Yes."

"Then why didn't you just move us out of here?" Auto
asked, fighting to stay calm.

"Well, you see, as I said, I'm not very good at all
the god stuff yet. I can't take anyone with me yet. In
fact, I'm not allowed to, until I've got my
license..."

"You need a license to will yourself away?"

"No, I only need a learner's permit to move myself,
but before I move someone else I have to pass the
exams. And I haven't gotten that far yet," Joxer
explained. "I've tried to move with pumpkins a couple
of times, but they always explode, and Ares said I
shouldn't try anything living until I stopped doing
that."

"Probably a very good idea," Autolycus admitted. "But
you can move yourself, right?"

Joxer nodded.

"Then why in Tartarus haven't you willed yourself to
the other side of the door and just unlocked it or
gone for help?"

"Oh, I never thought of that..." Joxer admitted a bit
sheepishly.

Auto closed his eyes, and tried really hard to not
give into the impulse of strangling Joxer. Ares and
Jett might take offence, and since Joxer was a god
now, it probably wouldn't work anyway. "Would you mind
trying to do that now?"

"Sure!" Joxer said.

Two minutes later they were out of the closet.



part six

"And Arion played an' played his cithra, an' you know
what?" Bliss giggled and gently stroked a small part
of the thistle which didn't hurt to touch. Everybody
on Sicily agreed that he was the best poet, so he won!
And he had a very nice party an' ate a lot of cake,
and then he wanted to come back home to Greece again
'cause there's no place like home, I guess."

Bliss rose, "So, he bought a place on a ship heading
for Corinth and left." He started to run around making
wavy movements with his arms. "And he sailed and
sailed and sailed! But the sailors on the ship were
real meanies! They robbed poor Arion, an' forced him
to jump into the sea. But before he jumped Arion
asked..."

Bliss stopped and sat down next to Psyche again, "You
know what he asked? He asked if he could play his
cithra, one last time. An' the robbers," Bliss paused.
"Were they pirates or robbers?" he asked, a bit
puzzled. "They robbed Arion, so that would make them
robbers, but they where at sea, so that would make
them pirates..." Bliss pondered that for a while. "The

robbing pirates," he finally decided, " said he could.
An' Arion played like he never played before. An' if
the muses had heard him, they would've cried, because
the music was so pretty." Bliss frowned, "At least
Euterpe and Erato would've, 'cause Strife said they're
real cry babies. But anyway, the muses didn't hear him
an' Arion had to jump! He went splash!"

Bliss fell flat on his back and pretended to do
backstrokes. "I bet this would be easier without
wings," he mumbled before he continued with the story.
"So, Arion was in the sea, trying not to drown, when
the dolphins arrived. The dolphins had heard him!"
Bliss exclaimed happily. "And they loved his music, so
they rescued him and helped him to the shore!" He
clapped his hands. "An' Arion lived happily ever
after."

Psyche smiled on the inside at her son's antics.

"Joxer told me that story," Bliss said. "He heard it
when he was as little as me, an' it's his favorite. So
he named his baby after Arion the poet. Our Arion is
going to be my best friend. When he's grown a little.
He's really small. An' he came from Joxie's tummy!"
Bliss giggled at that, "Grown up things are so silly!"


"Want some more water?" he asked and picked up an urn
filled with water. It was heavy and he had to struggle
to keep it balanced. "I would've gotten you some more
green beans, but Granma said they weren't good for
you." He carefully tipped the urn over just enough so
a tendril of water ran unto Psyche's pot. "But the
water is good for you," he continued. "It's really
working." Bliss smiled at Psyche. "You're even bigger
than me now."

And Psyche was. She was at least an inch taller and
just as wide as her son and she could feel herself
growing bigger. Maybe she would get a second chance
after all. A chance to make everything up to Bliss.
And even if she didn't, she at least had these moments
with her son, and she would cherish them always.


*******************

"Joxer! What in the world are you doing under the
table?" Hercules gently put down Arion on the couch,
arranged the pillows on the couch around Arion so
there was no way the baby could fall off, walked back
to the table and lifted up the tablecloth.

Joxer looked up," Hiding from Xena," he mumbled, and
blushed.

Hercules frowned, "Hiding from Xena? Why?"

"I didn't mean to do it, all I wanted was something to
open the door with, but somehow I ended up with this,
and Xena's gonna be so mad when she catches me." Joxer
rambled and gestured to the bundle beside him.

Hercules blinked, wasn't that... He bent down to take
a closer look. It was! He sat down on the floor next
to Joxer. "I doubt Xena is happy right now, but what
ever you did to get her clothes was an accident,
right?"

Joxer nodded and quickly explained about the fish, the
closet and Auto.

Hercules blinked as he translated Joxer speak into
normal greek. "Why were you looking for bedclothes..."
He rubbed his head, "Nevermind. Anyway, I don't think
Xena will be mad at you for an accident."

"But she might hit first and ask questions later,"
Joxer said.

"If you want to, I can give them to her and explain,
and then keep her busy for a while, giving her time to
cool down," Hercules offered.

Joxer smiled gratefully, "I'd appreciate that," he
said and crawled out from underneath the table. "It's
not that I'm afraid of Xena, but I rather not have her
mad at me. I hate to fight with a friend."

Hercules smiled, "I doubt it'll come to that. Why
don't you take Arion with you and go down to the great
hall and have some breakfast while I look for Xena?"

Joxer walked up to the couch, smiled at his son and
picked him up. "That's a great idea," he said. "And
after that, I think I'll spend some time with Arion in
Iphicles' garden. It's really beautiful and I've
wanted to get a closer look at it."

"That sounds like a great idea," Hercules said.

The men left the room and the blonde who'd been
listening behind another door smiled. This was great!
Now she had another opportunity to make her plan work.


*****************************

"I must say that's an unusual fashion statement."
Autolycus said and amusedly looked at a blanket draped
Xena. "But it looks good on you."

"Shut up, Auto!" Xena hissed. "Did you have anything
to do with this?"

"Indirectly, he did," Hercules said and stepped into
the room carrying Xena's clothes. "Joxer had a little
godly mishap," he explained and handed Xena her
clothes. "I found these and Joxer hiding under a
table. Joxer feels really bad about the whole
thing. He didn't mean to do it."

Xena sighed, "No, I bet he didn't. He's just being...
Joxer. And how can I blame him for being who he his?"
She stepped behind an ornamented screen that divided
the room and started to dress. "I sure hope he learns
to control his powers, though. My clothes disappeared
while I was looking after Mr. Ed. I searched for
something to wear for over half an hour. The stable
hands where no help at all." She smirked, "In fact,
they seemed to enjoy the view."

"They didn't help you?" Hercules frowned. "Maybe I
should talk to Iphicles about that."

Auto and Xena shared a look. "Well, Herc, you can't
really blame them." Auto said. "Until the festival
begins, this incident and that poor guy that's being
hassled by the gods seem to be the only entertainment
that exist in this town."

Hercules frowned even harder, "What?!"

"Everyone is preparing for the festival so there's no
plays running, even the strippers at the seediest
taverns have taken nights off working on their
outfits, and the inn keepers are all saving the good
booze for then." Auto explained.

"Not that!" Herc growled. "What did you mean about a
guy being hassled by the gods?"

"Oh, that," Auto rolled his eyes. "I arrived to
Corinth last night, but the castle gate was already
closed, and I promised Hermes not to break into
anything while I'm here so I spent the night in this
inn I like. And this guy was all they were talking
about. He's apparently a member of Iphie's council,
but not well liked, if ya know what I mean. And it
seems like not even the gods like him cause strange
things have happened to him. And not only here in
Corinth, he used to live in Athens, but he eventually
had to move because of all the incidents."

"What incidents?" Xena asked.

"All kinds of incidents from giving the Athenian
council food poisoning to his wife's dress falling
apart in public. All his business ventures fails, and
I even heard that they can't light their hearth. It
expires as soon as they try."

"That doesn't mean the gods have to be behind it,"
Xena pointed out.

"But they might," Hercules objected. "I think we
should look out for him and see if that's the case.
What's the guy's name?"

"Something with a J... Jonus, yeah, that's it."


**************************

Iphicles entered the rosegarden and smiled at Joxer,
who was sitting close to the big fountain holding his
sleeping son. Mjau, the cat, lay at his feet. "Hi,
Joxer. Have you seen Hercules? Gabrielle said he was
out here and wanted to talk to me."

Joxer frowned, "No, I haven't seen him since he
returned Arion. He promised to try to distract Xena
for a while." He shrugged, "I guess Gabby got you two
mixed up, somehow."

Iphicles nodded and sat down next to Joxer. "Why is
Hercules distracting Xena?"

Joxer blushed, "She's kinda mad at me right now. It's
something I did... I didn't mean to, but it was kinda
embarrassing for her, so I'm staying away from her
until she calms down."

"Seems like a wise decision," Iphilces said. "So, how
are you? We haven't had a chance to talk before."

Joxer smiled, "I'm fine." He gently stroked his son's
dark hair with his thumb. "As a matter of fact, I've
never been better. I have everything I've ever
wanted."

Iphicles smiled back, but unlike Joxer's happy,
content smile, his held sadness, loss and pain.
"Treasure it, Joxer. You never know when it's going to
change."

Joxer's face changed and showed now compassion and
understanding. "I heard about your loss. I'm so
sorry."

Iphicles shrugged, a bit uncomfortable. "It was hard.
I still miss her. But I guess I'm ready to let her go
now. I don't want to be alone forever. I had love
once, I don't want to miss out on another chance
because I'm dwelling on the past. Rena would want
me to be happy."

Joxer nodded, "I'm sure she does."

Iphicles sighed, "Yes, but no one else seems to feel
that way. Well, some of the noblemen and members of my
council leave hints big as houses that I need to make
an heir. But everyone else, seem to think that I
should stay a mourning king forever. All the women at
court just look at me and sadly shake their heads,
thinking of poor King Iphicles. 'We must let him
grieve in peace.' And as soon as a visiting girl talks
with me longer that five minutes, she gets dragged
away by some elderly matron who explains the situation
to her. And it's 'oh, poor King Iphicles', all over
again! I mean... I was talking to Thalia in the
library. And we had a good time. She is easy to talk
to, you know?"

Joxer nodded.

"And I must admit I talked about Rena for a while, but
she didn't seem to mind. But then we talked about
other stuff. And it just felt so good, to talk to
someone about other things than affairs of state and
the loss of my wife. You can understand that, can't
you?"

Joxer nodded again.

"But then I had to leave, and talk to the Athenian
ambassador about some stuff. And when I got back,
three or four of the women at court was sitting next
to Thalia, going on and on about how she shouldn't
bother me and that I should be allowed to mourn in
peace!"

"I'm sure they mean well," Joxer said.

Ipicles sighed again, "I know they do. That's what
makes the whole thing so frustrating! All I want is to
meet a nice girl who likes me for me, and give love
another chance. Is that so much to ask for?"

Joxer was about to reply, that he certainly didn't
think so, and that he could put in a good word with
Cupid or Aphrodite for him if Iphicles felt brave
enough, but he never had a chance.

A high nasal, piercing voice, cut through the air, and
through the men's eardrums. "Hello? Is anyone there?"

A thin woman with big lips and even bigger black hair
walked down the stone steps towards the fountain. She
was wearing a short, very short, red dress, and her
shoes had heels so high, Iphicles was amazed she
managed to walk at all.

Joxer just stared at her. It was Hera's birthday soon.
Maybe she would like big ear rings with peacock
feathers, just like the ones this woman wore?

The woman came to a stop in front of them. She smiled,
"Hiya! I'm here about the nanny position. That
gorgeous hunk of a man that stood and guarded the
front door said I could take a short cut through the
garden. Is he married? But now I'm lost."

"I don't know if the guard is married or not,"
Iphicles answered. "But if you're here for the job
interview, Joxer's your man." He gestured towards
Joxer.

Joxer smiled, "So tell me little about yourself."

"I'm Fran Fine, and I was working in a bridal shop for
the Flushing Queen, 'Til my boyfriend kicked me out in
one of those crushing scenes. What was I to do? Where
was I to go? I was out on my fanny... So, I thought, I
have style! I have flair! I'm here! Why not become the
Nanny!?"

Joxer and Iphicles just stared at her. Her voice
stayed at the same high pitch the whole time. Together
with the nasal thing she had going on, it made for an
interesting combination.

"What do you want to achieve as a nanny?"

"Well, I'll teach the kids everything I know. How to
get a bargain, how to dress classy, how to get the
most out of a night on the town. Oh, and finding a
rich handsome husband wouldn't be bad either."

Joxer blinked. "Actually, I think Arion is too little
for any of that," he started.

"Oh, is that him?" Fran asked and leaned over the
baby. Why, isn't he adorable! I could just eat him
up!" She pinched Arion's cheek.

Whether Arion woke up because of the pinch, or the
voice, only the baby knows, but he took one look at
Fran's heavily make-upped face and howled.


********************



Part seven

"Tell me again, what are we doing here?" Iolaus said
and looked expectantly at Hercules.

Hercules rolled his eyes. "I told you, we're looking
for people being hassled by the gods!"

"So because, Auto heard about some guy who's had bad
luck lately, we're going to run around Corinth like
idiots, looking for gods that are misbehaving?" Iolaus
translated and stopped. "Am I the only one that thinks
this is crazy?"

Xena shrugged, "It's easier to just humor him, than to
try to make him change his mind. Besides, it's a nice
day for walking and I didn't have anything planned."

Hercules huffed and pretended like he hadn't heard
that. "Let's go this way," he said and stared walking
down a street, not bothering to make sure the others
followed.

"I guess you're right, Xena," Iolaus sighed and
together they tried to follow Hercules. The street was
pretty crowded and soon they'd lost him.

They continued down the street, trying to catch a
glimpse of Herc when someone accidentally pushed
Iolaus towards one of the merchant stands covering
both sides of the street.

"Hey, do you think Arion would like one of these?" he
asked and held up a toy sheep. When he got no reply,
he turned around. "Xena?" Xena was nowhere to be
found. "Oh, this is just great!" Iolaus muttered. "Now
I've lost them both."

He shrugged, "I guess we'll find each other, and if
not, we'll just have to catch up at the castle." He
continued down the street, taking in the busy
atmosphere. It was like every street and alley was one
huge market place. People were selling flowers,
clothes, beauty products, and anything else that might
come in handy during the festival, and some stuff that
was just plain useless. And food. Everywhere he looked
he saw food stands. And the delicious smells made him
hungry.

A bit longer down the street Iolaus heard a familiar
voice. "Come and buy! Extra fine food! Special prize
today! Amazing dishes you can only find here!
Completely unique! Made by the chef that catered Jason
and Alcemene's wedding!"

Iolaus grinned and quickened his pace until he reached
the food stand. "Falafel!" he exclaimed.

"Iolaus!" Falafel said delighted. "Here, try my new
recipe for my hot dogs." He showed a strange sausage
covered in bread in Iolaus' face.

"No, thank you. I'm not hungry," Iolaus lied politely.


"Oh," Falafel's face fell, his disappointment showed
clearly.

"But I always have room for a hot dog," Iolaus said
with a fake smile. He took the hot dog and was about
to take a bite when he hesitated. "It's not really
made of dogs, is it?"

Falafel smiled and shook his head, "No, it's made of
pork. I just wanted an exotic name."

Iolaus nodded weakly and took a small bite. Slowly he
chewed carefully. "It's not bad," he admitted a bit
sheepishly.

Falafel beamed and grabbed Iolaus into a hug. "I knew
you would like it!" he practically squealed.

"Hey, you! Stop hitting on my man!" A scruffy looking
man huffed and glared at Iolaus.

The hunter stepped away from Falafel. The man looked a
bit familiar. "Have I met you before?" he asked.

The man frowned, "I think we met in a tavern
somewhere. I'm G.I Joeus, and you were flirting with
my babe!"

Iolaus raised his hands, "I didn't mean to. We're old
friends, that's all," he defended himself.

Before G.I Joeus could reply to that, a man came up to
the food stand.

"What are you serving that is safe to eat?" The man
asked with a sneer.

Falafel gave the man a wounded look, "Everything I
make is fit for a king! As a matter of fact, even gods
like my food. The God of War himself came to me asking
for hot dogs for his consort!"

G.I Joeus nodded in agreement, "And since his consort
was pregnant at the time, I guess you can say, *two*
gods ate Falafel's magnificent food!"

The man looked down his nose at Falafel, "You people
really do say about anything to get some money, don't
you? There's no way the God of War would bother with
someone like *you*."

"Actually," Iolaus butted in, "Ares *did* ask Falafel
for some hot dogs for Joxer. He admitted so himself."
Seeing the man's clear doubt Iolaus added, "And if you
don't believe me, go up to the castle, later, and ask
Hercules, he was there too."

The man didn't on comment that. "Ares' new consort is
called Joxer?" he asked instead.

Iolaus nodded and took a bite of his hot dog.

"And he was pregnant with Ares' child?"

Iolaus nodded again, his mouth so full he couldn't
answer any other way.

The man made a strange face and then turned back to
Falafel, "Do you have any good food or not?"

Falafel grinned, "Here, try my special meat stew," he
said and poured some brown looking stew in a wooden
bowl. He handed the man the bowl and a spoon with a
smile. "Enjoy," he said.

The man grunted and hesitantly tasted the stew. "Hey,
this isn't half bad," he admitted and started eating.
Iolaus couldn't help to compare the man's eating
manors with those of Hercules', when he was a pig.
After a while, the man slowed down and actually chewed
his food, staring out in space. "Dude," he suddenly
said and seemed to wobble a bit on his feet.

"What?" Iolaus asked, worried that Falafel had gone
too far in his creativity this time.

"Pretty colors," the man murmured. He very carefully
sat down the bowl on the stand and then put his hand
up near his face. He moved it back and forward. "Hey,
my hand is like floating..." he said before he started
to wobble down the street.

"Wait!" Falafel called after him. "You forgot to pay!"
The chef shrugged, "Oh, well, I guess that one was on
the house."

"I can go after him and beat him up a little," G.I
Joeus offered.

Falafel shook his head, "Nah, It's nice of you to
offer, but the stew wasn't expensive to make. It's
mostly made from leftovers, and the spices and herbs I
used where free samples from this new spice merchant I
met two days a go."

Pondering the man's strange behavior, Iolaus started
to have a sneaky suspicion... "A new spice merchant,
who gave you herbs for free?" he asked.

Falafel nodded cheerfully. "Yes, he said his herbs
where out of this world, even able to change people's
mood. And he gave me some free samples so I could see
for myself."

"And did you get this strange merchant's name?" Iolaus
asked.

"Yes," Falafel answered. "His name was Nicus Guyus."

Iolaus had to laugh. At least this time, Strife's
prank had happened to someone who deserved it. "I
don't think it would be a good idea to use anymore of
those herbs," he advised Falafel. "I think they make
people a little too happy."

Falafel nodded. "If you say so," he agreed.

"You haven't seen Hercules or Xena by any chance?"
Iolaus asked as he finished the last part of his hot
dog.

"I saw Hercules a little while ago."Falafel answered.
"He went up that way," he said with a gesture towards
north. "But he was terribly busy. He didn't even have
time to say hello. He just muttered something about
meddling gods and left."

Iolaus grinned, "Thanks," he said and put a copper
coin on the stand before he left in search of
Hercules.

*******************

"The scary lady is gone now," Joxer cooed soothingly
to Arion. "And she's not coming back. I promise."
Holding Arion on one arm, he grabbed the milk bottle
with the other. These instant milk deliveries from
Olympus were really neat, he thought for himself as he
sat down on the sofa and began to feed his hungry son.


Red and black sparkles signaled the entry of his
husband. "Heads are going to roll!" Growling and
sneering Ares paced the floor, not even noticing his
consort and son. "Those incompetent mother..."

"Ares!" Joxer interrupted sternly. "Not in front of
Arion!"

Ares came to a halt and looked at his frowning husband
just realizing he was there. "I'm sorry, Joxer. But
those idiots..." He silenced and took a deep breath
and sat down next to Joxer. "But it doesn't matter.
Because I'm here with you now, and that always calms
me down. And I'm not going to let any Spartans mess
with my family time." He kissed Joxer and gently
stroked his feeding son's cheek. "But I can rant about
it later, right?"

Joxer grinned, "Sure, I love it when you get all hot
and bothered..."

Ares grinned back then looked at the baby. "Ehm... So
how was your day?"

Joxer moaned, "Don't ask. I had the most terrible
nanny interview. She made Arion cry!" He put down the
now empty bottle on the floor, and it promptly
disappeared. "I don't want to do any more interviews
without you," Joxer said and moved Arion to a burping
position.

Before Ares could answer, there was a sharp knock on
the door. Ares made a wave and the door opened.

The lady in the door opening raised a thin black
eyebrow at the godly display. She made a strange
figure in a long black skirt, black jacket and a weird
looking hat that had seven white flowers sticking out
from underneath the brim. In one hand she carried a
big bag that looked like it had been made from a
carpet, and in the other hand she held something that
reminded Joxer of sun parasols from Chin, only this
one was black, and had a parrot head on the handle.
The woman was quite pale and had her coal black hair
wrapped tightly in a bun underneath her hat. She wore
an expression that clearly said that no nonsense
would be tolerated. "Hello," she said. "I'm here now.
I can start right away."

"Start what?" Joxer asked, confused, just as Arion
finally burped.

"As the nanny, of course." The woman stated as a
matter of fact.

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" Joxer asked and looked
at his husband. Had Ares hired a nanny without
consulting him? Strangely that thought made him feel
more relieved than angry. But Ares shook his head,
clearly as puzzled as Joxer

"I'm Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way,"
the woman said calmly. "I guess you want to see my
qualifications?"

She put both her bag and the strangely looking parasol
on the table and began digging through her bag. Mary
Poppins didn't seemed to find what she was looking for
and absentmindedly took out a couple of really ugly
shoes and a measuring tape and put them on the table
without looking up, mumbling, "No, that's not
it..."before she went deeper down into the bag and...
Ares blinked as she pulled out a large full body
mirror, a birdcage with two white birds and a huge
lamp. Was the woman a god? But she didn't 'feel' like
a god But she *did* look a bit familiar...

"Ah! Here it is!" Mary Poppins exclaimed in triumph.
She held up a paper that looked like it had been
ripped to pieces and then mended back together. She
began to read, " I have a cheery disposition, rosy
cheeks and no warts..."

"Wait a minute!" Ares interrupted and jumped up, and
was almost in her face. Mary Poppins glared at him for
interrupting, but Ares glared back. "Now, I know why
you looked so familiar! You're that crazy girl from
this morning! Decided to trick us into giving you a
second chance did you? Well, that wont work!" he
ranted. "First playing completely demented and now
dressed like that... What where you thinking, that we
were idiots? Explain yourself!"

Mary Poppins calmly raised an eyebrow again, and said,
"First of all I would like to make one thing perfectly
clear."

"Yes?" Ares said sarcastly.

"I never explain anything," the nanny calmly stated,
"Second, I haven't the faintest idea what you're
talking about."

Ares opened his mouth to reply but the woman's stare
got to him, strangely enough, she reminded him a bit
of Hera...

"And third, I don't want to work with someone who so
clearly can't control his temper. I have other offers,
so I'll bid you good day." She snapped her fingers and
all her stuff jumped down into her bag again. Another
snap closed the bag, and a third made both the bag and
the parasol levitate from the the table and into her
waiting hands. With a curt nod to Joxer, she turned
around and left.

"That's it!" Joxer huffed. "I give up. I tried to do
this Gabrielle's way, but it clearly doesn't work.
'Cause only insane people seem to want to be a nanny!"


"Then don't worry about it," Ares said, trying to calm
his consort down. It was rare to see Joxer this upset.
"Why don't I try to find a good nanny, and then you
have final approval. And until then, you can focus on
Arion and have fun with your friends."

"That would be great," Joxer smiled relieved. "I just
hope Gabby won't be too upset."

"If she has something to say about it, tell her to
talk to me. I'll make her see the error of her way..."
Ares said with an evil smirk.

Joxer didn't notice and leaned his head against the
Wargod's shoulder. "That's so nice of you. Making sure
Gabby feels OK when I know you really don't like her
much."

Ares moved his arm around his spouse, "I'd do it for
you," he said. "And it's quite fun to make Blondie see
how stupid she's been."

Joxer ignored the last comment and sunk deeper into
his husband's embrace. "Can we just sit like this for
a while?" he asked.

"Sure, Joxer. We have all the time in the world. Or at
least a couple of hours..."
***************

Part eight

"Look, Mommy! See what I painted for you!" The running boy came to a halt, dropped the drawing without noticing it and stared in awe at the large thistle. "Wow," Bliss said. "You're huge."

And for a thistle, Psyche was huge. In such a short time, she'd grown to the same height and width as she used to be. And the thistle was now clearly woman shaped.

"Granma!" Bliss called out. "Mommy's almost Mommy now!"

Gaea walked into the room and quirked an eyebrow. "Indeed. Perhaps if you ask the Chaos stone nicely, he'll hurry up the transformation so your mother can come with us to the feast tonight."

" You really think it will do that?" Bliss asked with eyes filled with shining hope.

"It can't hurt to ask it," Gaea smiled.

Bliss let out a squeal and ran into the next room where the Chaos stone sat on the mantle piece.

Gaea looked sternly at the thistle. "I hope you've used this time to get your act together. Because if you haven't, I'll make sure you'll look back on your time as a thistle as the best time of your life."

Psyche shivered at the cold voice. There was power in that voice. A power that probably exceeded Zeus'. How could she ever have dismissed this goddess as an unimportant nobody?

Gaea smirked as she saw the thistle's faint movement. "I guess you must at least be in the right direction, since the Chaos stone has let you come this far. But remember my warning..."

From the other room they could hear Bliss' voice, "An', I really want Mommy back. It was great to have her all for myself for a while, but I want her to change back now. 'Cause I want her to be happy..." His voice cracked as he tried not to cry. "An' even if she doesn't luv me anymore, at least I'll know that she's happy..."

"Oh, that sweet, dear child," Gaea whispered.

The thistle shimmered in a blue light. The pot cracked into pieces as the thistle's roots was turned into feet. Slowly it's color changed from green to flesh and cloth and soon Psyche stood before Gaea. She was crying.

From the other room they could still hear Bliss talking. "And if she's happier without me, I'll... I'll stay away. Just change her back. Please Mr. Chaos stone..."

After one last look at Gaea, Psyche ran, a bit wobbly, to Bliss and picked him up in a bone-crushing hug. "I love you! I love you so much, Bliss, and I'm so sorry," she said over and over.

Bliss hugged her back and buried his face in the nook of her neck and softly chanted, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!"

Gaea silently walked into the room and picked up the Chaos stone from the mantle piece and looked at the scene in front of her. "I think this is going to work out fine," she said softly to the stone.

The stone let out a pulse of blue light to let her know that it agreed.

*****************************************

Autolycus strolled into the library and frowned when he realized the only ones there were Joxer, reading a scroll and Mjau, the cat, who was having his afternoon nap on Joxer's feet. "Have you seen Thalia?" he asked. "I was told she was in here."

Joxer shook his head, "No, she's not here. But she's going to bring me Arion in a little while. Why don't you sit down and wait with me?" he suggested with a hopeful smile.

Auto shrugged and sat down on the bench next to Joxer. "Sure," he said. "What are you reading?"

Joxer blushed, smiled sheepishly and hid the scroll behind his back. "Nothing!" he said nervously.

That made Auto very curious as to why he was blushing. "Aw, come on, you can tell me..." the thief pleaded. "I won't tell a soul."

Joxer looked into Auto's eyes, trying to see if the other man was serious and then he nodded. "OK, it's something Thalia got me hooked on. The Muses started it and now there's even mortal amateur bards doing it."

"Doing what?" Auto asked. Now he was really curious.

Joxer's blush became even redder to Auto's amusement. "Well, you take a play character or a hero from real life or even a god, and make up a story with him getting it on with another play character or a person from real life..."

Auto's eyebrows rose, "You mean getting it on as in...?"

Joxer nodded and was even redder in the face now. "As in they have sex..."

Auto grinned, "Joxer, you dog!"

"But that's not the point of all the stories!" Joxer hurriedly defended himself. "A lot of them are more about romance than sex."

Auto grabbed the scroll from behind Joxer's back and began to read out loud. "Ganymedes smiled and kissed the hero's thigh, 'My Master wants me to serve you anyway you want it, sir.' And slowly, slowly the beautiful young man left a trail of soft kisses as his mouth journeyed closer and closer to its final destination. When he finally reached his target Ganymede's smirked and swallowed Pericles' cock whole..."

Amazingly, Joxer got even redder, in fact his face was now glowing red, literally. "Ok, so some of them are just about the sex!" he snapped and grabbed the scroll.

Auto laughed; "Don't worry Joxer. Your secret is safe with me." Then he recalled what Joxer had said. "You said they write about real people. Have you ever read one about me?" He puffed out his chest. "I do have quite a reputation, you know..."

Joxer shook his head, "No, I haven't. But I saw one with Iphicles once."

"Oh, really," Auto leaned forward. "Was it good?"

"I didn't read it," Joxer answered. "Iphicles looks a bit to much like Ares for me to read about him having sex with someone else. Besides, I try not to read stuff about people I know personally."

"Thank you!" Auto exclaimed. "Finally someone else agrees with me. When I told Hercules Iphicles was a dead ringer for Ares, he looked at me like I was crazy."

Joxer nodded, "Gabby can't see it either. But Ares agrees, but says that's because both Amphitron and Alcemene had some divine ancestors."

"Don't we all?" Auto snorted. "So who else are people writing about? Ares?"

"Of course, and lately Cupid and Strife have become a popular pairing. And Xena and Gabrielle. But I don't read that, cause I know them so that would be so weird. Anyway, if you're curious, ask Thalia for some. She's hooked up to the Muse network and gets practically all stories delivered."

"I might do that," the thief said and then changed the subject. "So, where's your hubby?"

"He's gone to get some work done and to try to find us a nanny, cause Gabby's idea doesn't seem to work." Joxer said with a smile.

Auto chuckled.

Joxer frowned, "What?"

"Nothing... It's just that you smile every time you talk about Ares." Auto answered. "You seem so happy. I'm glad. And I bet Jett's happy for you too."

Joxer bit his lip, "I hope so... I think he is, but I thought he was coming to the ceremonies, but he hasn't arrived yet..."

"I'm sure he's just late," Auto comforted. "And how can he object to getting the God of War as his brother in law? It's clear even to me that Ares loves you very much. I doubt he would put up with living under the same roof as Hercules and Gabrielle other wise."

Joxer nodded, "He really tries to get a long with them. They really have gotten a wrong impression of him. He's not evil at all. He just happens to like his job..."

On the other side of the library door a certain blond bard started to bang her head against the stone wall. Why couldn't her plan work?

"Gabrielle! What on earth are you doing?" An amused voice asked.

The bard slowly turned around and smiled weakly at Xena. "Oh, nothing... I just tried to beat away a headache..." she explained loftily.

"Did it work?" Iolaus grinned.

"Actually, it did," Gabrielle answered. "So, what have you guys been up to?" she quickly changed the subject.

"We've been walking around Corinth looking for godly misbehavior, " Hercules explained.

Iolaus rolled his eyes, "Speak for yourself, Herc. I had lunch and bought a gift for Arion."

"Honestly, Iolaus! You don't take this seriously!" Herc huffed. "At least Xena understands."

"Actually..." Xena began a bit sheepishly. "I didn't see any gods, but I did find a great new dagger and a new bedroll..."

"I don't believe this..." Herc pouted.

"Believe what?" Thalia asked as she came around the corner carrying Arion.

Iolaus opened his mouth to answer her but Hercules interrupted, "Oh, nothing at all!" He turned to Iolaus and hissed, "Don't tell *her*, she's on *their* side!"

Thalia just smiled. "Well, I'm on my way to leave Arion with Joxer. I'm sure he wouldn't mind some company," she suggested.

Joxer smiled and held up his arms for Arion when they entered. After receiving the baby from Thalia, he looked hesitantly at the Warrior Princess. "I'm so sorry, Xena," he said meekly. "Have you forgiven me yet?"

Xena smiled, "We're ok, Joxer. I know you didn't do it on purpose."

Auto looked at Gabrielle, who looked like she'd eaten a whole lemon. "Who canceled your birthday?" he asked.

"That cat! He's sticking out his tongue at me!" she hissed and pointed at Mjau.

And it was true. Mjau had woken up from his nap and was now sitting neatly, near Joxer's feet. His front paws were placed in a direct line in front of the back paws, with his tail circled tight around him. He was also sticking out his pink tongue, and staring directly at Gabrielle.

Joxer laughed, "He does that sometimes. Don't get mad, Gabby. It's not like he does it on purpose. Do you, Mjau?"

Mjau blinked and sticked out even more of his tongue. Everyone except Gabrielle laughed.

"That's it!" she huffed. "If you all excuse me, I'm going to get ready for the feast now." With one last evil stare at the cat, she left.

Xena shook her head; "I don't know what's gotten into Gabrielle lately. She's been acting weird for days."

Joxer cuddled his son, "Maybe she's upset because her idea how to get Arion a Nanny hasn't worked yet? She tried so hard to help. "

Auto looked like he wanted to disagree, but with extreme effort, he made his face bland and just said," You never know..."

Mjau purred. It was so much more comfortable now when the Blonde had left the room. He really understood why Black Leather didn't like her. That voice was so annoying. But what was this? He'd been so focused on the Blonde that he hadn't noticed that Broad Shoulders was in the room. With a loud "Mrrw!" the cat rose and walked up to Hercules. With a content purr, Mjau began to stroke his head on Herc's boot.

Hercules froze and took a step back. The cat followed. Herc took a step to the left. The cat followed. He then took a step to the right with the same result.

The others watched Hercules and Mjau's dancing with fascination.

"Didn't the Chaos stone had fixed your fear of cats?" Iolaus asked.

Hercules continued his 'dancing' "It did. But I still don't like them much. I'm a dog person." He bit out. Looking more and more uncomfortable for every moment Mjau kept on cuddling him. Eventually he said, "I think Gabrielle had the right idea. I better go and get ready for the feast too." And with a "Bye!" he was out of the room so fast he could've been Hermes.

Mjau let out a sad meow and went back to sit close to his Pet's feet.



Part nine


Hercules leaned into the wall, trying to look
inconspicuous. Unfortunately, being inconspicuous was
something all of Zeus' line had a hard time to master.
In fact, only Hermes and Strife used it regularly.
Hercules stood out as much as Jayce would've in a room
full of Hestian virgins. But, since the people in the
entrance hall thought he looked angry, instead of
inconspicuous, they left him alone.

Iphicles' entrance hall was grand and ornate. On
occasions like this, it served as a meeting ground, a
place to socialize, before the main feast began in the
great hall. It was full of the crème de la crème of
Corinth, chatting and gossiping about the coming feast
and ceremony.

They were all dressed to the nines. Hercules had,
after an hour or so of skulking through the palace,
changed into a new pair of brown leather pants and a
royal blue shirt that had been left in his room with a
note saying it was a gift from Iphicles. Hercules
wasn't quite sure if he should take this as a sign of
brotherly affection, or as a hint that Iphicles
thought he dressed like a bum, but dressing up for a
feast like this one was probably a good idea. And the
pants were really comfy.

The daughter to one of Iphicles' councilmen was really
pretty, he absentmindedly noticed, before he spotted a
hooded figure behind a pillar. Wasn't that... Yes,
it was Strife! Lurking around, being completely
ignored by all the people. He'd probably made himself
invisible to easier make trouble for some poor,
unfortunate soul.

Narrowing his eyes, Hercules silently moved closer.
Strife was staring at an older man. His dark beard was
speckled with gray and he seemed to have put on some
weight recently, since his red tunic was very tight
around the middle. Strife grinned and sent out a burst
of power towards the man. Strife's victim, first
stumbled and spilled his wine, both on the floor and
his tunic. And then, while he was trying to dry out
his tunic with his sleeve, somehow he managed to slip
in the wine on the floor. He hit the floor with a loud
thud.

The people around stared and laughed behind their
hands. "Poor, Jonus! He's at it again!" Hercules heard
a man say.

So that was the poor man the gods had been harassing!
And so cruel the people of Corinth were to just laugh
about it. Making a mental note to talk to Iphicles
about the morality of his people, Hercules moved even
closer to Strife.

Strife had taken out a leather pouch and now poured
some kind of glittering powder in his palm. The pouch
closed itself and disappeared. Strife crept up to
Jonus, still invisible; with a smirk he raised his
palm and blew the powder into Jonus’ face. The man
sneezed, but other than that, didn't seem to notice
what Strife had done. Strife stared at him for a
while, and then with a satisfied nod he began to walk
away.

Hercules grabbed him and dragged him out of sight,
behind a pillar. "What are you doing?" he practically
hissed.

"Just watch," Strife grinned and pointed towards
Jonus.

The man had walked up to a council member and his wife
to say hello. Hercules realized that he could hear
what was being said perfectly clear although he and
Strife were in the other end of the hall filled with
talking people. His surprise must've shown because
Strife's grin got even wider and he said, "A picture
might say more than a thousand words, but with sounds
they are even better. I even got you stereo!"

Hercules had no idea what Strife was talking about,
but he really wanted to know what the mischief god had
done to Jonus, so he turned his attention back to the
man.

Jonus was kissing up to the couple, flattering after
flattering remark fell from his lips as he smiled an
insincere smile. "Wow," said Hercules. "That guy must
really want a promotion, or something."

He was just about to add that sucking up was not
reason enough for the gods to mess with him when
Strife answered, "The powder should kick in about...
now." Jonus sneezed again. Strife giggled, "Now, let's
hear what Jonus really thinks!"

The wife, Hercules now recognized as councilman Kerus'
spouse, Arianna, was talking about her dress. "And
it's so nice of Iphicles to include us wives in the
invitations," she said. "It's so rare we have an
excuse to get some new dresses. Kerus ordered this
fabric all the way from Chin for me. Isn't it a pretty
dress?"

"It makes your butt look big," Jonus blurted out. Then
he gasped and put his hand over his mouth as Arianna
huffed and left. Her husband growled, "Thanks a lot!
Now she'll be impossible to live with!" and followed
her.

Jonus just stood there, not sure what had just
happened. A rich merchant approached. "Hello, Jonus,"
he said and friendly patted Jonus on the shoulder.
"What a great night this will be!”

Jonus opened his mouth to say that he agreed, but what
came out was: "Your breath smells almost as bad as the
rest of you. Honestly, you stink!" Now, the merchant
hadn't caught on the new fad of personal hygiene, and
*did* smell quite bad. But, still, it wasn't the
polite thing to say, so the merchant decided to teach
Jonus some manners. With his fist. It caught Jonus so
hard on the cheek, he fell on the floor. Another man
came up and bent down asking if Jonus was alright.
Jonus opened his mouth to answer but instead he said,
"You really should pop that zit because it looks
hideous." And things just got worse from there on.

Hercules grabbed the front of Strife's outfit and
pushed the young god against the wall.

"Hey, watch the threads!" shouted Strife.

Hercules ignored him and took an even stronger grip on
the outfit with one hand. "What ever you did to that
poor man, stop it!" he ordered.

"I can't," Strife began. "Because..."

Hercules interrupted him, "You've got to stop making
mortals miserable for your own perverted pleasure!
They're people too!"

"But..."

"I don't want to hear it!" Hercules growled, still
pressing his nephew up against the wall. "Just stop,
or else..."

"Or else what?" A voice behind him asked. Hercules
turned around but kept a firm grip on Strife.

He blinked and looked at the man up and down. "Jett,"
he said. It was half a question and half a statement
because Hercules was never quite sure which of the
triplets he was facing at a first glance anymore. In
fact, Hercules was the only one who sometimes wished
Joxer would start wearing his armor again.

"The one and only," the assassin smirked. He turned
to Strife and asked with a pointed look, "Is this the
time for me to do what I discussed with Ares?"

"What?!" Hercules exclaimed. "That's just so typical
of Ares. Sending out assassins to kill an innocent
man! And letting Strife make his life miserable until
then. How low can he sink?" Hercules ranted. With a
fierce scowl he arrogantly stated, "You want the
mortal dead, you have to go through me!" He glared at
both Strife and Jett to make sure they got the
message.

Jett ignored Hercules and curiously looked around.
"Who is it Hercules thinks I'm going to kill?" He
asked Strife and then continued, "I only came to visit
Joxer and take a look at the kid, but if he expects me
to kill someone I can squeeze it in on my schedule.”
Jett smirked," I'd hate not to live up to the mighty
Hercules’ expectations."

Strife grinned and pointed towards Jonus, who
currently was telling a horrified fifteen year old
girl exactly how attractive he found her breasts.
Complete with wide gestures with both his hands and
other parts of his body.

Jett cocked his head like he was really considering to
off the man right there and then, but he finally shook
his head and said," Sorry, hero, no can do. I promised
Joxer I wouldn't commit patricide years ago."

Hercules blinked and processed what Jett had said.
After a couple of seconds, he asked hoarsely, "Is that
Joxer's father?" He nodded towards Jonus, who was
being slapped repeatedly in the face by the young
girl's mother.

Jett nodded with a smirk.

Hercules slowly let go of Strife. "I guess I can make
an exception in that case. Please continue."

Strife rolled his eyes at Hercules' assumption that
he, in any way, could control what Strife did or did
not do. "No thanks," he answered. "The moment is
gone."

Most people were moving out from the entrance hall to
be seated in the great hall. And Joxer, Xena and
Iolaus were walking towards them. They'd also changed
into festive clothes. Even Xena had removed her
leather for a blue silky dress. Iolaus had found a
golden silk shirt that went well together with his
brown leather pants. Joxer was dressed in black
leather pants and a white shirt with silver embroidery
on the sleeves and neckline. In his arms he carried
Arion, dressed in some kind of golden gown that was
covered with lace and so long it reached to Joxer's
knees.

Noticing Strife's looks at Arion, Joxer sighed. "It
was a gift from Hera," he explained sheepishly.

Strife giggled, "Grandmother's are great at stirring
up trouble! Has Ares seen it yet?"

Joxer nodded, "He's not thrilled about it, but it's
not worth upsetting Hera over."

Strife giggled again, "I have to go and find Cupid
now; I'll see you guys later." With a last smirk in
Hercules’ direction, Strife disappeared in a puff of
blue smoke.

“Since when does Strife use blue smoke?” Iolaus asked
as he waved his hands around to get rid of the thick
smoke.

"Strife's experimenting. He uses something new every
time he disappears," Joxer explained. He then turned
to his brother with a huge smile, "Jett! You made it!"

Jett smiled back with what counted as a happy smile
for him. "Of course. And I have a letter from Jayce.
He had a show in Athens and couldn't make it, but he
expects a visit later on."

Joxer practically beamed with happiness and held up
Arion, "This is your nephew Arion," he said proudly.
"Arion, this is your Uncle Jett."

The baby grinned a toothless grin towards his uncle
and reached out for him.

A bit clumsy, but yet carefully, Jett took the child
and held him up to get a closer look. "He's rather
small," he said, almost accusingly.

"He'll grow bigger," Joxer smiled.

Arion gurgled and grabbed an irresistible target,
Jett's nose. Jett moved the child so he could hold him
with one hand and took Arion's hand in the other.
Arion accepted his new position and grabbed Jett's
finger instead. "He has a strong grip," Jett said and
moved his finger up and down, but Arion held on. "That
will come in handy when it's time for him to learn how
to throw a knife properly." He finally managed to get
Arion to release his finger. "I guess he'll turn out
alright, when he’s learned to feed and dress
himself," Jett said as a final judgment.

"I'm sure he will," Joxer said, being very good at
translating Jett-speak.

"And, you know, when he's bigger, if I'm not busy with
something else, I wouldn't mind if he stuck around for
a while," Jett said reluctantly. "Not that I'd be baby
sitting!" he hastily explained. "I don't do baby
sitting, But he could visit if I don't have anything
else to do..."

"I'm sure we can work something out," Joxer answered,
glad that Jett had accepted Arion in his own special
way, although he doubted Ares would let Jett spend
unsupervised time with Arion until the boy was 50. No,
Ares would probably make Strife hide in the bushes to
be sure nothing bad happened to Arion. But what Jett
didn't know, didn't hurt anyone else.

Just as carefully as he'd received his nephew, Jett
handed Arion back to Joxer. During the whole
conversation with Joxer, Jett had ignored the others,
and he continued to do so while he bid his brother
farewell. "We can talk more tomorrow," he said and
made a move to leave.

"Are you leaving already?" Joxer asked, a bit
startled, with disappointment shining in his voice.

Jett smiled what for him passed as his friendly smile.
"I'm not much for crowds, so I'll lay low tonight. But
I'll get in touch with you tomorrow before I leave. I
got a job in Sparta, so I can't stay longer than
that."

Joxer sighed. "Then I'll see you tomorrow," he said
sadly as he watched his brother leave the room.

"What's with the long face? We can always invite Jett
to Olympus when all this is over," a familiar and
loved voice asked from behind him.

Joxer turned around and happily exclaimed, "Ares!
You're back!"

Ares smiled and gave Joxer a kiss. “I have a surprise
for you,” he said.

“Really?” Joxer smiled back. “What is it?”

“I’ve found a nanny,” Ares answered. He made a gesture
towards the door and it opened and revealed a woman
that strangely enough, always reminded Joxer of
Iolaus.

“Widow Twanky!” Hercules exclaimed.

“Hello, dear. But it’s Nanny Twanky now,” Nanny Twanky
said with a fond smile. “Ares was kind enough to offer
me a job. And it truly was a grace from the gods,
since my dancing school went out of business last
week.”

Joxer grinned, “What a wonderful idea, I think this is
going to work out great.”

Nanny Twanky took walked up to Joxer and Arion, “So
this is the little poppet I’m going to take care of.”
She smiled and tickled Arion under his chin. Arion
giggled and smiled. “He’s lovely. May I hold him?” the
nanny asked.

Joxer nodded and carefully handed her the baby. “I’m
so glad we finally found a good nanny,” he said.

Ares grinned and said, “I’ll bring you a power
bracelet from Olympus tomorrow. Arion is big enough
now.”

Joxer looked up. “A what?” he asked, confused.

“A power bracelet is charmed to make the wearer able
to control a godling’s powers,” Ares explained. “The
wearer can cut the godling off from his or hers power
source, undo things the child has done, and travel to
where the child is. It also enables the wearer to
travel to Olympus from the mortal realm and back.”

“The bracelet makes the wearer a god?”

“Not quite, the power used is the godling’s, and there
are very strong limits what the wearer can do with it.
And the wearer can be a god just as well as a mortal.
It’s main purpose is to keep the child safe as well as
the environment.” Ares grinned, “A power bracelet is
what made Olympus survive Strife’s childhood. He lived
up to his godhood without even trying.”

“I can imagine,” Hercules murmured, but Iolaus’ sharp
elbow in his ribs stopped him from making any further
comments.

“And now all we have to worry about is getting through
the festival without getting completely wasted.” Ares
gestured towards the main hall, “I believe the feast
is waiting, shall we?”

Joxer took his hand, and together they walked into the
hall, with their friends following them.



Part ten




The hall was dressed with flowers. In one end the main
table was placed for Ares and Joxer and the other
guests of honor. A smaller table was added at both
ends of the long table, so any god who felt like
attending would have a place to sit, which gave the
main table sort of a u- shaped look if one had a
little imagination. Aphrodite and her family where
already seated at the left end table, making it a bit
crowded. Deimos and Phobos sat so close they looked
like they where sharing a chair, but they didn’t seem
to mind. Strife sat next to Cupid, practically leaning
on him. Partly because they where crowded, and because
he loved Cupid, but also to make sure that everybody
in general, and one person in particular, knew that
Cupid and he were a couple now.

But Psyche didn’t mind. She just smiled and hugged
Bliss closer, grateful to be made a goddess again, and
that her former family had forgiven her so much that
they’d invited her to this feast. She was just happy
that Cupid had found someone to love, and that he was
still willing to let her spend time with Bliss, after
all she had done.

Aphrodite smiled at her husband, and Heph smiled back.
They were both very happy the thistle ordeal had
turned out as well as it had.

The rest of the hall was filled with smaller tables
seating the most influential citizens of Corinth. All
of Iphicles’ court was there, of course, and so was
his council, but also the rich merchants and
representatives from all the different temples in
Corinth.

Ares and Joxer were sitting in the middle of the long
table with Arion laying in a golden cot beside them.
Iphicles sat next to Joxer since he was the host and
king of Corinth and Thalia sat beside him. The chairs
next to Ares were empty, waiting for the King and
Queen of the Gods to arrive.


For everyone's comfort, Hercules and Iolaus were
placed on Joxer's side of the table since it was
unwise to tempt Hera's patience more than necessary.
That put Xena and Gabrielle on Ares' side together
with Auto, something that didn't please Gabrielle at
all. Not only could people believe she was a guest of
Ares, her seat was covered with dust that made her
eyes tear. She glared at Thalia and sneezed. Why was
the grace allowed to sit at the main table? Didn't
Gabrielle have more right to that seat than she did?
Normally, Gabrielle would've kept silent and just
spent the feast glaring at Thalia, but for some
reason, getting that seat next to Iphicles felt very
important today. If she got the seat she could spend
the evening trying to get Iphicles interested in
Joxer...


With a loud voice she asked, "How come Thalia sits at
this table? Shouldn't she be better of with the rest
of the gods?" Gabrielle subdued a startled gasp. She
couldn't believe she'd just blurted it out like that.
Even in her ears, it sounded a bit rude.


An embarrasing silence settled around the tables. Xena
looked like she wanted the floor to open and swallow
her whole. Joxer just stared at Gabrielle. "What are
you talking about?" he asked.

Noticing that the others were glaring at her,
Gabrielle answered, "I just think it's rude of Thalia
to occupy that seat. What if Iphicles wanted to bring
a date?" She smirked contently, that should be a good
enough cover. Surely they all would believe she'd
acted out of concern for Iphicles.

Iphicles blushed. “Actually, Thalia and I have decided
to start dating,” he said and took Thalia’s hand.
"This is our first date."


Gabrielle sneezed again as Hercules grinned and with a
pleased smile said, "Congratulations!" He wasn't sure
that a relationship with an Olympian was the best for
Iphicles, but Iphicles had been alone for so long, and
if this was what he wanted, Hercules would support his
brother, even if it killed him.


Gabrielle, on the other hand, had even less
restrictions than before. She rose and with her face
red of anger, shouted, "That's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard. You should stick to your own kind,
Iphicles!"


"Like Joxer?" Autolycus asked mildly.


"Yeah! Exactly!" Gabrielle blurted out, then realized
what she'd said and put a hand over her mouth.


Cupid frowned and quietly whispered to Strife, "You
didn't happen to misplace some of that powder you got
from Grandmother, did you?"


Strife smirked and whispered back, "I might've put
some on the bard's chair, accidentally on purpose..."


Cupid grinned, "I love you so much."


"Ditto," Strife answered and leaned into Cupid, "Now,
let's watch the fire works!" They both focused on the
scene before them.


"What are you talking about, Autolycus?" Joxer asked
confused, at the same time as Iphicles asked
Gabrielle, "Why in Tartarus would you want me to be
with Joxer?"


"I don't know why," Autolycus answered, "but Gabby has
tried to hook someone up with Joxer for quite some
time now. I know she's tried to get me alone with
Joxer on more than one occasion. It stands to reason,
that she's tried the same with others. Haven't you,
Gabrielle?"


Gabrielle shook her head and opened her mouth to
vehemently deny it, but what came out was: "Damned
straight I did! Anything to get Joxer away from Ares!"


“Gabrielle!” Xena exclaimed in shock.

Joxer stared at the bard, “I can’t believe you would
do such a thing!” His chin shivered, “I thought you
were my friend. That you where happy for me.”

“Oh, Joxer. I only try to do what’s best for you,”
Gabby explained in a convincing tone. “Ares is not the
right one for you. You’d be so much happier with
Iphicles.”

“But I’m not interested in men!” Iphicles protested.

Gabrielle pretended she didn’t hear that. “Even
Autolycus would be better than Ares,” she continued.

Auto frowned, “I have to agree I am a great catch, but
I don’t love Joxer, and he doesn’t love me. And even
an idiot can see that Ares and Joxer are in love. Why
mess with that?”

“But Ares isn’t right for Joxer!” Gabrielle protested.
“He’s evil incarnate!”

“But that’s not up to you to decide who I’m with,”
Joxer said quietly with tears in his eyes.

Ares remained quiet, and just reached out for Joxer’s
hand and gently held and stroked it as a silent
support. But his eyes where flashing red, showing his
anger towards Gabrielle. This far, he was controlling
himself.

“I love Ares, and he loves me,” Joxer continued. “As
my friend, you should respect that, even if you don’t
agree with my choice. Trying to break us up, secretly
trying to make me break my marriage vow, isn’t what a
true friend would do.”

“But he’s not good for you! Think of Arion!”

“Hey! Dad is a great father,” Cupid protested.

Joxer shook his head, “You really think it would be
better for my son to have a broken home than to live
with two parents that loves him and each other?”

“Ares can’t love anyone! He’s war!” Gabrielle
practically screamed.

“Yes, he can,” Xena interrupted. Her voice almost a
whisper. “Everyone knows that Ares loves his children.
Even Hercules would agree to that!”

Hercules nodded. “And although I still think that Ares
is an asshole, and should leave all mortals alone,
there’s no doubt that he cares about Joxer.”

Gabrielle shook her head. “I did it to help you,
Joxer,” she pleaded.

Joxer looked at her sadly, “But instead you hurt me.
How am I supposed to trust you, when you went behind
my back like that? You hugged me and told me you were
happy for me, and then you turned around and did this…
It hurts Gabrielle, It hurts so bad!”

“But I only wanted to help,” Gabrielle insisted. When
Joxer looked away from her, she turned to the warrior
princess. “Xena...” she pleaded.

“Oh, no! I’m not going to help you get out of this!”
Xena answered. “I really thought that you’d realized
what you were doing when you told me you accepted that
Joxer was with Ares. I guess you lied to me too,” she
said bitterly.

“That’s not true!” Gabrielle bit her lip. “I really
did think I could accept it, at least until Joxer
figured out what a big mistake he’d done. But then I
found out about Arion, and I just had to do
something!”

“But it wasn’t your place to do something!” Xena
hissed. “You have to stop trying to control other
people. Just because they don’t do exactly what you
want them too, doesn’t mean what they’re doing is
wrong for them. Don’t you realize,” Xena was
practically pleading with the bard at this point, “by
trying to control and direct Joxer’s life like you’ve
done, you’ve acted exactly as you’ve accused Ares of
doing.”

Gabrielle shook her head. “No…” she whispered.

“Yes,” Ares said with a growl, “and you’ve hurt Joxer,
so I’m going to make you pay!”

Joxer put a hand on Ares arm. “No, my love. Please
don’t. She was my friend once, and she might be it
again someday. She truly believed she was doing it for
my own good. And maybe if she gets some help, she can
realize what she was doing.” Joxer turned to
Gabrielle. “I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able
to trust you again,” he started. “I don’t want to be
around you right now, but I don’t want anyone to hurt
you either. So I’m just going to ask you to leave me
and my family alone. And maybe after some time, if you
realize that what you did was wrong, I might be able
to forgive you.”

Until now, the mortal guests in the hall had sat
quietly, with their mouths half open, taking in the
drama that took place in front of their eyes. But now
one of them reacted.

“What a piece of sentimental crap!” A man sitting at
the table reserved for Iphicles’ council had risen and
now walked up to the main table.

A bit surprised, Iolaus recognized him as the rude
customer he’d met at Falafel’s market stand.

“I always knew you were a wimp, but this takes the
prize.” The man’s face was red of fury. “I forgive
you,” he mimicked Joxer. “You don’t forgive those who
do you wrong! You make their life miserable!”

Joxer stared at the man “Father,” he whispered.

“I always knew you were worthless. But this, this is
unbelievable, even for you!” Jonus face showed his
revulsion as he looked at his son. “What kind of man
gives birth to a child? That’s women’s work!”

“Hey!” Ares rose but Joxer’s hand on his arm made him
sit down again.

Hercules stared at Jonus, and then turned to Strife,
“I’m so sorry I interrupted your work to make his life
a living Tartarus. Please let me know if there’s
anything I can do, to help you out.”

“Hercules!” Strife moaned and hid his face in his
hands. “That wasn’t supposed to be made public!”

Hercules had the decency to look sheepish. “Sorry,” he
apologized.

Joxer stared at Strife, and then at Ares, “I thought
you promised to stop the hazing?” he asked. Hurt and
betrayal clearly heard in his voice.

Ares took his husband’s hand, “I did, and I have
nothing to do with this, I promise.”

Strife nodded. “He’s telling the truth, and this
wasn’t my idea. I only did what I was told to do.”

“Told by whom?” Ares practically growled.

Strife bowed his head and mumbled, “Sorry, Unc. But it
isn’t my place to tell. It wouldn’t be very
professional, would it? Client confidentiality, and
all that. Let’s just say you’re not the only one who
is pissed off about how Jonus treated Joxer.”

Now Ares did growl, but Joxer nodded, “I understand.
But please tell your clients that I want them to stop.
He is my father, after all.”

“That’s exactly what I mean!” Jonus sneered. “You’re
so weak. Giving birth, forgiving everyone. I am
ashamed that you are a son of mine. And if it wasn’t
for Jett, and the fact that you three look exactly
like my father did, I’d think your mother cheated on
me. In fact, I blame you and Jace on her!”

“Really!” Jocasta huffed. “You shouldn’t say things
like that. True, our sons are… different. But they are
our sons, and you shouldn’t put them down in public.
And if this has hurt my chances to see my grandson, I
have to hurt you. Besides, Joxer might be married to a
man, but can you think of any family better to marry
into? Think of the connections. They’re better than
royalty!”

Jonus had looked a bit scared when Jocasta threatened
to hurt him, but now, he rolled his eyes. “Oh, woman!
You have no idea what you’re talking about. I bet no
decent god accepts Joxer as anything else than a toy
or pet. I bet just the weak minor ones that no one
cares about would even talk to him. He doesn’t even
have anything to be god of!”

“Actually,” a voice interrupted Jonus’ rant. “I am one
of the gods who hired Strife to make you miserable.
And I doubt you would call me weak or minor.” Zeus
appeared in a flash of light, “Would you?”

Jonus just stared at the king of the gods as Zeus
walked up to the table and after giving Joxer a
comforting touch on his shoulder, and Arion a pat on
the cheek, sat down on Ares left side. “Sorry we’re
late.” He said to Ares. “It took longer than expected
to get ready. You know your mother.”

Ares nodded, “Yes, I do. You’ve misplaced something
and while Mother was looking for it, you got bored and
went ahead without her.”

Zeus nodded a bit sheepishly, “Eh, yes…”

Cupid snickered, “What did you lose?”

“Arion and Joxer’s presents,” Hera answered as she
entered in a shower of purple sparkles. She walked up
to the main table and gave Joxer a kiss on the cheek.
“How are you dear?” she asked before she bent down
over Arion and cooed. After finishing her
grandmotherly duty, Hera sat down next to Zeus and
glared at Jonus, "Now, what were you saying about my
favorite son in law?"


Jonus looked ready to faint, but he still felt forced
to say what was on his mind, "He's been a
disappointment since the day he was born. I blame his
mother and that no good midwife. They obviously
screwed something up. My wife was probably busy
whining about the so called pains she claims she went
through."


"Oh, really..." Hera said mildly. "Then perhaps you
should get a chance to show them how it's supposed to
be done." She raised her hand, "From now on you will
feel the pain of child birth every time you, eh, every
time nature calls, and I'm not talking about Gaia..."


Joxer rose, "Please don't!" he begged. "Please, Hera,
don't hurt him for my sake. I don't want that on my
conscience. Don't interfere with his life, please."


Hera sighed, "Very well. But he really do deserve what
ever all the gods on Olympus could come up with..."


"Now, dear," Zeus interrupted. "We should honor
Joxer's request." He cleared his throat and with an
important look on his face declared. " I, Zeus, King
of the Gods, here by declare that from now on Jonus of
Corinth, former Athens, is to be completely ignored by
all gods and goddesses."


Jonus smirked, he couldn't believe his luck.


Both Aphrodite and Hera looked ready to smack Zeus in
the head.


Ignoring the glares, Zeus continued, "Any prayers made
by Jonus will be ignored and he will be banned from
all activities that honors a god. For the god's, Jonus
will not exist, until it is time for Hades to call him
to his domain." He smirked evilly at Jonus, "And when
that happens, I'm sure my brother can work out a
schedule for all Olympians who want to help you
getting your just judgment. Knowing my brother, he'll
end up selling tickets to those who want to watch."


Ares let out a cheer, then looked guiltily at Joxer
and said, "I'm sorry if this will cause you pain."

Joxer sighed, "I'm not presumptuous enough to
interfere with how people get judged in the after
life. I'm sure that Hades will give father what he
deserves, nothing more, nothing less. But that won't
be just because of me. That will be based on his
entire life, and I accepted a long time ago that my
father might not have such a nice after life."


Jonus stood shaking, staring at the King of the Gods
in horror.


Zeus glared at him, "What are you still doing here?
This is a godly festival, one of the things I just
banned you from attending."


Jonus slowly turned around, put his hand on his
wife's arm and began to lead her away from the hall.


"The ban doesn't include his wife? Does it?" Hera
asked Zeus.


Jocasta turned around and looked at Hera and Zeus with
hope in her eyes.


"No," Zeus answered. "Jocasta of Corinth is not
included in the banishment. However, it's up to Joxer
whether or not he wants her near his child."


Everybody looked at Joxer, who looked down at the
table. "If she want to stay she can," he simply said.


"I'd love to," Jocasta said and went back to her
table, completely ignoring her husband, who sighed and
left the hall.


Hera smiled at Joxer, "As a grandmother, I think you
made the right decision."


"I hope so," Joxer answered.


Ares put his arm around his husband and hugged him
tightly, "I'm sorry if tonight have reopened old
wounds and added some new." He glared at Gabrielle who
sat, pale and shivering on her seat between Auto and
Xena. Both was leaning as far away from her as
possible. "Do you want to leave?"


Joxer shocked his head, "No, let's just try to make
the rest of the evening better."


Ares smiled kissed him slowly and tenderly.


Strife giggled, "You heard the man!" he shouted.
"Let's party!"


End part ten



Part eleven

Iolaus slowly opened his eyes and moaned. Perhaps
Hercules had been right and he'd had too much wine
last night. But he'd had so much fun that, at the
time, Hercules just seemed like a party pooper.

"Finally!" Hercules' voice said from the doorway.
"It's about time. We are so late!"

"Late for what?" Iolaus asked and buried himself
underneath his blanket. "The ceremony isn't until
noon."

Hercules sighed, "It *is* noon. Something you would
know if you removed the blanket from your head and
looked out through the window."

"What!!" Iolaus exclaimed and jumped out of the bed.
He moaned and gently touched his hurting head and more
quietly asked, "Why didn't you wake me sooner?"

"We tried," Hercules defended himself. "You were dead
to the world. We even tried banging with the dinner
gong close to your ear, but you just kept on
sleeping."

"Never mind," Iolaus said and quickly washed his face
and grabbed his clothes. "We'd better hurry!" he
practically shoved Hercules out of the doorway and
rushed out in the hall. Jumping on one leg at a time,
he put on his boots. Noticing that Hercules hadn't
followed him down the hallway, he turned around as he
put on his vest and yelled, "Come on! We don't have
time to stand around. What if they begin without us?"

Hercules rolled his eyes at Iolaus and followed the
hunter on his rushed trek through the palace. When
they came out of the castle Iolaus took time to make a
nod to the guard on duty and put on his vest. Then he
began to run again. Luckily, his destination wasn't
far from the palace.

It had been decided that the ceremony would take place
in the large city square, so all of Corinth's citizens
that wanted to could attend. A large podium had been
built so everyone in the audience could see all that
happened.

Iolaus slowed down and let Hercules lead the way
through the audience. Hercules was always good to have
when you moved through a crowd. People always moved
voluntarily when he was there.

They'd arrived just in time. Joxer stood beside Ares
with Arion in his arms at the middle of the stage.
Several seats were placed on one end of the podium.
Most of them already occupied by gods and goddesses.
Xena and Autolycus sat there, too, but Gabrielle were
no where to be seen. Instead sat Joxer's mother
Jocasta next to Xena. Beside her sat Nanny Twanky with
Mjau in her lap. Iphicles and Thalia sat beside Cupid
and Strife. Iolaus noticed they were holding hands.

Auto waved at them, "It's about time!" He said. "Come
up and join us! We saved your seats." He gestured at
the two empty chairs next to him. Hercules climbed up
on the stage and then helped Iolaus up. Realizing Mjau
was there, Herc quickly choose the seat furthest away
from the cat.

Iolaus sank down in his chair with a sigh, "Did I miss
anything?"

"No," Aphrodite, who sat behind him, answered. "But
they're about to begin," she added and nodded towards
Zeus and Hera who'd entered the stage.

Hera walked over to them and, after a sneer at
Hercules, sat down next to Jocasta. "We grandmothers
have got to stick together," she said with a smile.
Jocasta just nodded, completely overwhelmed.

Fanfares signaled the beginning of the ceremony and
the public quieted down. Zeus raised his arms as a
greeting and began, "People of Corinth! You have been
given the greatest honor we gods can give you. Not
just one god, but two will receive their official
godhood here. Cherish them, and they will cherish
you." The people cheered. Zeus made a gesture towards
Joxer, "Joxer, Consort of Ares, God of War, come
forward!"

Joxer handed over Arion to Ares and went to stand next
to his father in-law. Zeus smiled at him and asked him
to kneel. Joxer complied. Zeus put a hand on Joxer's
shoulder, "From this day forward, you shall be known
as Joxer, God of Survival. Those that survive will
have you to thank. You'll take over duties concerning
survival from most of the other gods and work close
with the fates as well as the houses of War and
Death."

Joxer looked up at Zeus, overwhelmed. He'd expected a
small godhood no one cared much about. Sort of an
honorary title. Not such a big godhood like this!
Practically all people in Greece would have reason to
pray to him at least once or twice in their life.

Zeus materialized a thin gold chain with a small
pendant in the shape of a shield and hung it around
Joxer's neck. "I hereby give you your symbol of power.
Keep it with you, always." Zeus took a step back and
helped Joxer up on his feet. "Gods of Olympus, people
of Corinth, I give you Joxer, God of Survival!"

Hera wiped her eyes with a handkerchief, "I've been to
so many of these, and I still cry every time!"

"Is that it?" Xena asked.

"No dear," Hera answered. "Arion is left."

"But Joxer's part is over?"

"Yes," Hera nodded slowly as if talking to a child.
"Is there something you think was left out?"

Xena smiled sheepishly, "No, it's just that I expected
the ceremonies to be longer and, eh... more
impressive."

Hera shook her head, "It's not the length that makes a
ceremony important, dear."

"I guess not," Xena said and focused on Zeus when
another fanfare sounded.

"People of Corinth," Zeus began again. "Usually I lead
ceremonies like this, but this time we are all honored
by the presence of Gaia. Kneel in respect of the
original mother to us all!"

Gaia materialized with one eyebrow raised, "Really,
grandson. This isn't necessary. I don't need people
bowing before me to know my self worth." She walked up
to Ares and gently took Arion from his arms. She
looked down at the baby who blinked at her with
curious blue eyes and smiled. "My, how you've grown,"
she said in that tone that all grandmothers seem to
use.

Gaia turned to the crowd. "Arion, son of War and
Survival, from this day forward will you be known by
your true name, Arion, God of Chaos!" Balancing Arion
on one arm she raised the other and the Chaos Stone
appeared in her hand. She gave it to the baby who
giggled and grabbed it with his little hands. The
stone began to glow with a bright blue light that soon
surrounded both Gaia and the boy. Arion laughed and
with a squeal he absorbed the light. Just leaving it
shining through his eyes.

The crowd was quiet with awe, and so were the gods.
Even Zeus. He stared at the baby and his grandmother.
Then he seemed to be aware of the silent audience.
Zeus smiled a completely insincere smile, trying to
pretend like everything had gone exactly like he'd
expected and said, "People of Corinth, give out a
cheer for your two new gods, Joxer, God of Survival
and Arion, God of Chaos! May Corinth always be them
faithful!"

The people cheered.

"And now," Zeus continued, "will Arion and Joxer's
family and friends retire to the castle for some
private celebration. Enjoy the festival!" He turned to
his grandmother and the seated gods and hissed, "We'll
discuss this in the castle in five minutes. Don't be
late!" And he disappeared.

Hera rose from her seat, "We better do what the old
goat wants. I must admit, I'm curious too." She left
in a rain of purple sparkles and peacock feathers. The
rest of the gods followed her example.

Iolaus looked around. The people of Corinth were
already leaving the podium, eager to start the
festivities. Iolaus turned to Hercules, "What just
happened? Zeus looked freaked."

Hercules nodded, "Yes, something's definitely going
on. Zeus told me Arion would be the God of Children.
He didn't say anything about chaos."

"Well," Nanny Twanky said and got on her feet, still
holding Mjau. "I don't know about you, but I'm going
back to the castle. I bet that 'discussion' Zeus
talked about will be very interesting."

Iolaus agreed and together with the others, he walked
back to the castle.

******************


Hercules and his friends quietly entered Ares and
Joxer's room. Except Iphicles and Thalia, who'd gone
off to have some time of their own.

All the gods that had been present at the ceremony had
already arrived. They were all eagerly watching the
scene before them. Gaea and Zeus stood in the centre
of the room with Ares and Joxer. Joxer had an arm
wrapped around Ares' waist and looked from Zeus to
Gaia with confusion and not so little fear about what
might happen. Ares was just growling. Zeus shouted,
"What's going on?! There is no godhood of Chaos!
There's never been!"

Gaia, who was still carrying Arion smiled at her
grandson. "True, there hasn't been a need, until now."
She absentmindedly tickled Arion under the chin as
she continued, "But the Chaos Stone has been waiting
for Arion to be born since the Titans were defeated.
It was thrilled when you met Joxer, Ares. It had
waited for your perfect mate for so long."

Ares stopped growling just long enough to frown, "Wait
a minute, exactly how involved has that stone been in
my life?"

"Well, it had nothing to do with you meeting Joxer,
however, it *did* have a part in getting you back
together." Gaia answered.

"You mean it let me touch it, when I fell into the
cave?" Joxer asked.

"Actually, it started interfering a bit earlier," Gaia
stated with a smirk and distractedly gave Arion to
Joxer. "It influenced Zeus into believing that the
godhood swapping debacle was a great idea."

"Oh, that's a relief!" Hera interrupted. "I thought he
was going senile!"

"Really!" Zeus huffed.

Gaia ignored them both and continued, "And since it
was so easy to influence Zeus, it continued by giving
him the idea to steal it from Cupid."

Zeus blinked, "You mean it wasn't my own idea?"

Gaia smiled, a bit amused, and shook her head.

"Great," Zeus sighed. "I don't know if I should be
glad that I didn't come up with that stupid idea by my
self or depressed because that was the only prank I
managed to do as God of Mischief."

Everyone ignored him, except Hera, who rolled her eyes
at her husbands self involvement.

Joxer bit his lip, "I'm not so thrilled that the chaos
stone manipulated my life like that, but this far,
only good things have come of it, so I really can't
complain. But exactly how involved will the chaos
stone be in Arion's life?"

"They will be very close," Gaia answered. "Together
will they will work to bring order in chaos. But they
will be companions; the chaos stone has no power over
Arion."

"Good," Joxer said relieved. "Then I can live with
this."

Ares nodded. "I don't like that the chaos stone has
messed around with my life. If it had been anyone
corporal I'd have ripped his lungs out, but I'm not
stupid enough to mess with that stone. Besides, I got
Joxer and Arion out if this."

"I guess we all got something out of this," Hera said.
"We gods learned that the grass isn't greener on the
other side of the fence, and that we should be
satisfied with the godhood we have."

"And I finally learned what is important in life,"
Psyche said quietly and hugged Bliss.

"An', I got my mommy back an', I'm not the littleless
on Olympus anymore!" Bliss said and hugged his mommy
back.

"I got Cupid," Strife said with a leer.

"And I got you, babe," Cupid answered.

Joxer sighed contently and hugged his son close. "And
I got you, and your daddy," he whispered to the baby.
"I'm glad everything turned out as well as it did."

Arion looked at his father with sparkling blue eyes.
He still held the chaos stone in his little hands. The
stone sang in his mind. A song in a forgotten language
telling him of all the great things they would do when
Arion got big enough. The God of Chaos giggled and his
eyes flashed brightly. Life would be fun.

The end

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