Welcome to AresJoxerCupidStrife

Title: A Day in the Life
Author: Alex
Fandom: Xena: Warrior Princess
Pairing: Kinda C/S
Archive: If you wanna
Feedback: Sure
Disclaimer: To broke to own anyone, and too selfish to share if I did.
Rating: PG-13 (Language my dears, the language)
Warnings: This is my first attempt at a AJCS fic, so please be patient with me. This is in answer to the Fic Challenge with put them in your everyday life situation. Have pity on me cause certain parts of this really is an example of almost an everyday occurrence. Oh yeah, names have been changed to protect the intellectually challenged. (Dumb-hips)Oh yeah, alot of Bahamians do talk this way, the accent sounds a little like an African speaking English for the first time, so I've been told.

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Rolling over, I shut off the annoying beep of the damn alarm clock. Groaning slightly I try to see without actually having to open my eyes. Realizing that as usual it is a futile gesture I swing my legs over and make my way out of bed.

Opening up my bedroom door, I stumble on a toy left in the hallway and send out two quick prays, one to the Goddess of Fertility for never having cursed me with little demon spawns (I know this sounds kinda harsh, but I tell you, watch them for one afternoon and I promise you your tubes will start to cut and tie themselves) and another to the Fates, that have granted me a reprieve as the school season has started again and I will not have to deal with them until 3:30.

Making my way to the bathroom I hop over three different pairs of tennis shoes, a gym bag and several articles of shrewn clothing that makes the hallway look like a hurricane passed through it.

Finally making my way to the bathroom, I again sigh in disgust as the lazy-piss holes have yet again not raised the toilet seat and I turn away in disgust and anger.

"Men, jesu, ya wa tink dat dey wa use de little bit of good sense da lord ge dem and flickin raise up da damn toilet seat, fore dey go in der an piss." Shaking my head I am startled as I bump into a solid body.

Looking up angrily from the shirt I was kicking over the floor I closed my eyes and groaned as I recognized the smirking face in front of me.

"Wa ya wan Strife?"

With his perpetual manic grin on his face, (one that I usually love but cannot stand just when I first wake up. I am not a morning person, I live by the belief that the day should start at noon and not a minute before) "Nothin', good mornin gal."

Glaring at him, "It maybe mornin but dere ain nothin 'good' bout it."

Still smiling, "Na ya know wat dey say, if ya can't be nice�."

"Screw you."

Smirking at me again. "I would but ya know how Cupe gets."

Pushing him to the side so that I could get past him. "Fuck off Strife."

Clucking his teeth as he follows me back to my room. I proceed in and shut and lock the door. Sitting on my bed and groaning as the sun starts to peek through my curtains, I am not surprised to feel the dip in my bed. Opening up one eye I kiss my teeth and drop back on the bed.

The one thing about Gods I hate. You as a mere mortal can't just lock the flippin' door and them out. Nope the suckers just walk or blink through.

Running a hand through my hair, which is now free considering that he took the scrungie out of it and now it was touching my back again. Make note to self I thought, time to cut the crap again.

"Whas a matta baby?"

Just like a child, I move into his touch. "Ain' nothin."

"Come on, ya ca tell ma, ya know I care."

Turning to face him, I let out a pent up breath. "It's jus dat, damn, I flicking tired of cleanin up afta a bunch a lazy assed men who think," I point to my breast "des come wi some kinda cleanin friggin genes. I swear if I didna lov da suckas so much I wa leave da shit right how I meet it an leave."

Clucking his tongue soothing I look up and notice that he is trying not to laugh. Shooting daggers at him as I shove him off my bed and onto the floor. I am further disgusted by the fact that all he does is clutch his stomach and roll over the floor laughing hysterically.

Muttering under my breath as I go the closet to pick something out to wear, "Where da hell iz a flippin Hind's Dagger wen ya ne one."

Hearing my thoughts Strife gets up and walks over to me. Holding out his hands in a peace offering he smiles. Not one of his patented 'crazy' smiles but an honest one that reaches his eyes. "Sorry bout dat, it's jus dat e'ry time I see ya, ya say da same ting, an ya ne'er leave."

Rolling my eyes because what he says is true, I nod and squeeze his hands. "Ya right, I can' leave dese friggin ungrateful suckas, who else wa put up wid dere dam lazy ass."

Looking pleading at Strife, "Wa ya?"

Grinning down at me, "I ready did�. Shorty."

Huffy at the dig, "Look, I ain short. Ain my dam fault dat e'ry one in dis dam house i'da o'er 6 feet or close ta it." Stretching to my full height, "Any vay, I is 5' 6" an dat ain zactly short ya know."

Picking out a short jeans skirt, white blouse and knee high boots I look pointedly at him. Strife just stares back at me. Raising an eyebrow. "Ya tink I gan go bathe wen ya here an all ya gatta do is wave ya hand," snorting at the still silent god. "not til the pope become a rasta an da queen get balls."

Laughing hysterically again while waving his hands I look down at myself. "Strife, ya dam gon an f'get undies again."

With a lewd smirk on his face I shrug my shoulders. "Dat's fine wi me, but ca ya at least ge me a bra, I ain aiming ta be swing to an fro."

With another wave of his hands I feel the bra. Picking up my handbag from the corner I open the door. Now looking at the spotless hallway I look back at Strife who is following me to the front door. Walking out to the porch as I inspected all the rooms on my way out and noticed that they were all clean. "Wer ya put it dis time Strife?"

Shrugging his shoulders and grinning maddenly, I shrug also and lock the door. Slamming the screen door shut I hide my eyes from the glare of the sun. Feeling sunglasses suddenly on my face, I smile at him to say thank you. "Ain' no skin offa my back. Anyway, wer is Cupe?"

"He had some tings ta do, he'll meet wi us at da plaza downtown."

Nodding at him, "Chill." Shuddering as I mentally braced myself to go out into the full sunlight, I turn to glare at Strife who is out right snickering at me.

"Ya mus'se vampire."

"Nah, wid my luck, I'd be one a dem ones dat ca go in da sun."

Grabbing my hands and pulling me towards the road, he lets out a laugh as I outright shriek as the sun hit my face. "Ya, know, ya look a lil bit pale ta me."

That stops me in my tracks. "Ya callin' me 'pale' ain dat like snow callin ivory white. An anyway, iz kinda hard fa ya ta call me pale," thumping him on his head, "in case ya ain notice, I'n ezactly wa ya ca call pale, mor like light mahogany."

Waving at the rasta coming out of his shack, "Ya still look pale ta me, more like an anemic mahogany."

Snorting at Strife, we continue in companionable silence until we reach Blue Hill Road and get on the Bus Stop. Turning to look at Strife as he ignores the stares of the people driving by him that are looking on in shock. "Wer's Jox an Ares?"

"Dey had ta do somethin'?"

Waiting for him to elaborate. After several seconds pass and he doesn't say anything I poke him in the ribs. "Wa?"

Looking across the road at a woman whose dress suddenly flies up even though there is no wind to the enjoyment of the BEC (that's the electric company where I am from) workers, I poke him again.

Turning to look at me with a smile on his face, I give him a chastising look to which he just laughs. "Wa, is dey up ta?"

"Who?"

"Jox an Ares."

"Ah, nothin, I tink it was more on da lines a 'Dite watchin' da kids for da day an Daddy wanna play."

Smiling to myself as I stop the first AC Bus that passes I wonder whose turn it was with those two to be Daddy. As if sensing my thoughts, Strife opens the bus door for me with a smirk. Giving him a 'I know I'm going to Hades and I don't care' look I take the first available double seat and pat down on the space besides me for Strife to sit down.

"So was gern on up der?" As Strife continues to tell me what was going on with the other deities we ignore the looks that we get as others in the bus hear our conversation. They wouldn't believe me if I told them the truth, and anyway, they didn't count.

Seeing our stop come into view I yell "BUS STOP" (yes we actually do this in our country, it kinda makes it simple and right to the point). Paying the fare, (as Strife with his cheap ass gets a kick out of my using my what he calls, colorful play money) we come off the bus.

Getting off Downtown Bay Street (yes this is actually what the street is called) I look one way and proceed to cross the road, stopping only once to yell, "I don' see ya friggin name on da flippin street, so wait til I friggin cross it" to an anxious taxi driver who starts to blow his horn at me.

"Shit like dat pisses me off, dey tink dey own da friggin damn road�.. Strife." Looking pointedly at him I smile as I hear the loud blow of a tire going flat. Nodding at Strife we make our way to the Straw Market. (well it was there before it burned down. Cheap hip government has yet to build it back)

"See any'ting ya like?" I almost drop on the spot as I quickly whirl around and come face to face with a smiling Cupid.

Screaming heedless of the stares that I am generating I throw myself at Cupid and he catches me. (This I tell you people is no easy feat since I haven't been small since I came out of the womb).

After absorbing his scent for a few minutes before I reluctantly let go of him and give him a gentle kiss on the mouth (hey, this is my story, and if I wanna kiss the hunk *I will* okay:).

"Hey wa bout mine, an was wit ya all day?"

Smiling ruefully at Cupid who had this amused look on his face I turn to Strife who was pouting. Walking over to him "Come here baby." Taking his face in my hands, I tiptoe and plant a loud smack on his mouth. "Betta?"

Smiling at me, "Much."

Seeing him eye Cupid I move out of the way as he moves into Cupids arms. Cupid just smiles as he realizes Strife intentions. I smile on as in full view of Downtown Nassau; Strife kisses Cupid as though he was trying to swallow him whole.

"Friggin bunch of chi-chi men, can stand dey batty-ass." (Okay, chi-chi man, and batty are the derogatory terms for gay men that are used by uptight bigots whom I am of the opinion more than 85% of them are closet homosexual themselves that are filled with self loathing, sorry I digress.)

With a scowl on my face I turn around to the direction of the voice that interrupted my pleasure. ( I mean think about it, it isn't everyday that I get to see these two go at it like that.) "An wa iz ya prob?"

Looking at me the offending man just comes closer. Nodding at Cupid and Strife who are still engrossed in each other. "Why don ya leave dem bunch a batty-boys an come wit a real man."

Turning around as if looking for someone, I look back at him. "Well seein' as only my friends are de only MEN round here an ya silly ass, guess I gatta wait aye?

Snarling at me, he goes to say something but changes his mind as he notices something in the back of me. I don't have to turn around to know that Cupid and Strife were probably now aware of the situation and were glaring at him.

I must give the idiot some credit. Seeing both Cupid and Strife glare at him combined with my look that was shouting 'I dare ya sucka' he turns around with a "Stupid dyke."

Shouting after him. "Betta a dyke, dan ya stupid ass."

Turning back to Cupid and Strife who were both looking at me with strange looks on their faces. "Hey, if I swung dat way, doncha tink dat you'd be da first ta know?" They both nod before they flank me on both sides.

"Ya know, I ca take care of ma self ya know, I don need ya both flanking me like I wa some kinda criminal." They both ignore me and we continue walking.

Looking up at Strife. "I hungry."

Cupid rubs the small of my back, "Wha ya feel like eatin?"

"Cracked Conch." (okay 'conch' is pronounced not as it is spelled but more like 'konk')

Looking around downtown, "Anyplace to get it here?"

Shaking my head. "Yeah, ba I wan mine from Fish Fry (this is what we locals call Arawak Cay, you ask why, well because, this is where we usually come to buy and eat fried fish. See I told you sweet and simple, that's the Bahamian way:) (well sometimes)

Strife goes out to hail a bus. (I'm telling you, in the Bahamas we usually try to stop a bus where we are cause sometimes we just don't feel like walking to a bus stop if the bus is right in front of us).

"Ssssttttrrrriiffffeeee." Turning around to look at me. "I don wanna go dat way, I wanna go dere now." I stomp my foot for meaning.

Smiling indulgently at me, Cupid gathers me in his arms, which I quickly snuggle up to, and holds out a hand for Strife.

Suddenly I am standing at the entrance to Arawak Cay. I ignore the "Wer da hell dey come from." And proceed to walk over to my favourite vendor. If I was a swearing kinda person, I would swear that Nelly (not his real name) put the Cookoo Soup (this is a kind of soup is said that people give to someone who they want but don't want them back so they 'fix' them to fall in love with them, all to do with Obeah (this is the Bahamian version of Voodoo) or something).

Leaning over the bar, I smile at Trish (not her name either) and shout, "Hey Nelly, wa ya gat for ma?"

I smile as Nellie comes out of the kitchen area wiping his hands on a towel. Reaching over the bar he kisses me on the offered cheek and points for me to sit down. Smiling at Cupid and Strife who once again sit on each side of me, they both nod at Nellie who flirts outrageously with Strife.

Strife with his disgusting self just flirts back and I give him an admonishing look as I look down and see a dark red fireball start to form in Cupid's hand as he looks at Nellie and Strife. Not knowing who the ball is for I quickly diffuse the situation by reminding Nellie about how jealous his boyfriend was and that it was bad manners to flirt with Strife in front of his.

Nellie quickly looks at Cupid as he realizes the situation. Swallowing hard, he could swear that he hears the blond man's voice in his head telling him he was going to pay for that.

Turning back to me, "Wha ca I do fa ya, my Bahamian Queen?"

Smiling as I feel the tension level drop back down, "Ah, da usual, an ge me two conch salads fa ma friends."

As Nellie goes off to prepare the food Trish comes by and I put in an order for 3 Kalik�(this is a Bahamian brewed beer, if you ever in the Bahamas try it, but be careful, our beers have more alcohol content than American, Canadian and some European brews).

Turning to look at Cupid who is still a little ruffled, I know this, because now I can see the imprint of his wings starting to form. Looking around quickly and noticing because of the earlier hour, (hey it's 11:00 am now, and for me, that's early) I notice that not too many people are around.

"Hey, Cupe, dude, like ya wings are showin."

Glancing at me absentmindedly, Cupe looks at me dumbly until I make gesture to my back with my hands. Finally catching on he shoots me a grateful look, gives Strife a glare and settles down long enough until suddenly his wings are completely hidden again.

Strife just stares ahead at the menu on the tree in front of him until I kick him on his leg. Scowling at me, "Wha?"

Frowning at him, I gesture my head towards Cupid and give him a 'fix it, and fix it now' look.

Rolling his eyes at me he pushes out of his chair, and walks over to where Cupid is. At first Cupid does not allow him to touch him, but suddenly Strife leans forward and whispers something in Cupid's ear.

All of a sudden, Cupid sits up straight, gives Strife a long hard look then turn to me. Grinning lewdly as I look at Cupid's flushed face, and looking down how tight his pants has suddenly become over a certain area, I nod my head at the silent question.

Giving me a relieved look, he walks over and kisses me on the cheek. "I owe ya one?"

Smiling at the Love God. "No ya won't if ya make him beg."

Smiling conspiratally at me, he nods. Without questioning how I knew I grabbed his arms. "Unh unh, no ya don't." Pointing to the bathrooms located on the otherside of the road. "Flash out in there."

Smiling at me, he nods, kisses me again and drags Strife purposefully towards the bathroom. Without turning around. "Species, tonight, pick ya up round 12." (Species is the slang term for an actually gay club that exist out on the western side of the island)

Smiling to myself I turn around just as Nellie is returning with the two conch salads that I ordered for the boys. Looking around he let's out a disappointed sigh when he doesn't see Strife. "Your Cracked Conch will be awhile," looking at the empty chairs on the side of me. "W'er ya friends gone."

Looking Nellie sternly in the eyes. "Nelson Taylor," hearing his full name come out of my mouth he looks at me startled, cause let's face it, you know you are in trouble when someone uses your full name.

Pointing to the two salads that are in his hands. "You may wrap those up to go, and when you are finished, you and me are going to sit down and have a serious conversation on the etiquette of Restaurateur and client. And how it is completely reprehensible, not to mention humiliating, disrespectful, tactless, offensive, vulgar and crude to flirt with a known life-partner in front of his spouse when you yourself are known to be involved in a committed relationship."

Looking at the man whose mouth is gaped open like a fish. Waving my hands in the direction of the kitchen. "You may go now to wrap up those two orders, place them in the refrigerator until I am ready to go. Then you may check on my order and return post haste back to me to continue our discussion. And Nelson," I say to the man as he turns around to do as I request.

"Don' yuck up my vextation, cause it dan yuck up." Nodding to me as he continues to make his way to the kitchen doors silently. I am almost sorry for his state cause let's face it, any one who knows me know that I only start to use the big words and college educated speech when I'm angry.

Smiling at Trish as she brings me the three beers, I start to drink one as I wonder about what I was going to wear to Species that night and whether or not Joxer and Ares would be joining Cupid, Strife and me.

I hope that I did not bore any of you, and that I did the challenge right:)