Part 1
Title: Everyone Wants To Be Loved.
Author: Candra
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Pairing: Ares/Joxer and Cupid/Strife
Status: WIP
Sequel/Series: Perhaps, if you want one.
Archive: Ask, give credit, and provide my email address for feedback
Criticism: Yes, please!
Feedback: Candra_@webtv.net
Disclaimer: They are not mine. ::sigh:: But how I wish they were.
Summary: The title said it all.
Warning: Angst, rape, torcher, violence, child abuse.
Rating: Mild R. Maybe NC-17 later.
Everyone Wants To Be Loved 1/?
"Everyone wants to be loved, I knew that, but perhaps not everyone
deserve to be loved." Joxer thought sadly. He was one of the ones that
no one would ever love.
He didn't want the type of love he had gotten from his mother, a hidden
love from a mother who was far to frightened of her husband to show her
children to much love.
He didn't want the type of love like he got from his brothers, oh he
knew they cared about him, in their own way, but that's not what he
wanted.
He didn't want the type of love like he got from his Father, he
shuttered at the memory of the big man's hands as hit him again and
again until he could no longer move. Then his father would force his way
into his body. When he had finished his father would hit him again and
tell he was worthless and that no one would ever want him, he would
never be loved and he would never be a warrior.
He didn't want the type of love he had gotten from the warlords he had
tried to travel with, they treated him no better then his father. They
would rape him one after another, sometimes for hours, and they would
tell him he would never be a warrior only a warrior's whore.
He didn't want the type of love he got from Xena. She thought of him as
if he were a child, someone that had to be watched so they wouldn't get
into trouble and constantly rescued when they did.
He didn't want the type of love he had got from Gabby. She didn't love
him. She thought of him as nothing more then a bothersome itch and would
gladly be rid of him if she could.
What did he want? It didn't matter. He was more likely to pluck the moon
from the sky and place it in his pocket then ever have the love of the
one he wanted. After all, he didn't deserve to be loved, did he?
"Joxer?"
The voice that came from no where suddenly filled him with so many
emotions. Fear, longing, pain, lust, need, and a thousand others all
came crashing in on him at once.
(FLASH)
Suddenly he was there, standing only a few feet away. The one he loved.
The one he wanted. The one who he would willingly give his heart, his
body, his soul. He would give him anything, everything if only his love
was returned. But it would never be. He would never be loved. He didn't
deserve to be loved, did he?
tbc