Alright.
You guys asked for it so here it is.
The final part in the Whoops! series. This is what Joxer and Ares were doing while Cupid was campaigning for Strife. Takes place during I'm Sorry.
Hope you guys like it.
Title: Excuse Me!
Author: Shadowgrl
Fandom: Xena: WP
Rating: PG
Archives: my site, AJCS, RCOS, Joxerotica, JLA
Spoilers: Takes place the same time as I’m Sorry in the Whoops! Universe only this is from Ares and Joxer’s POV
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Ares silently snuggled his nephew and waged an internal debate. Cupid and Strife could be good together, but not if Strife wouldn’t listen to Cupid. On the other hand, if Ares called Cupid now, Strife would feel betrayed and it could ruin their own relationship. He wasn’t sure what to do.
A movement distracted him and Ares looked up to see Joxer walking towards him. He groaned to himself as he realized Strife’s position implied a lot of things, all of them sexual. He hoped Joxer didn’t get the wrong idea.
Joxer casually walked up the steps leading to Ares throne. Perching himself on the arm, he whispered hello, being careful not to wake Strife up.
“Is he okay?” Joxer asked, nodding towards Strife.
Although surprised at Joxer’s lack of reaction, Ares nodded. “He’s had a rough morning. I think he’ll be okay though. I hope.”
“What happened?” Joxer asked.
Debating internally, Ares decided to tell Joxer the truth. “It’s kind of a long story. Do you promise to stay till it’s over?”
Joxer nodded. Curiosity had always been a fault and maybe he could help Strife out. Sometimes the Gods needed a mortal’s perspective on things.
Ares took a deep breath and silently prayed things would work out. He wasn’t sure whom he was praying to, but it didn’t matter. “You remember Strife said Cupid had been hit with one of his love arrows and that he was now in love with Strife, right?”
Joxer nodded. So the story went back a few weeks, he thought.
“Well, it turned out to be fake. It was all part of a plan Cupid had cooked up to get back at Strife for a prank he pulled earlier. Only there was more to it than that. See Cupid’s been in love with Strife for years, but he never approached him. So when Strife played his trick, Cupid saw it as an opportunity to get closer to him. So he came up with the fake arrow. The arrow wasn’t a real love arrow, Cupid just pretended it was. So he got to spend time with Strife and Strife got used to someone caring about him.
But Strife refused to take advantage of Cupid while he was under the supposed spell, so last night, Cupid seduced him. Then this morning, when Strife woke up, he heard Cupid and ‘Dite talking about how the fake arrow was a great plan. Naturally, he thought the whole thing had been fake and he left. Cupid’s been trying to talk to him all morning and tell him the truth, but Strife had his shields up and he couldn’t get through.
So now he’s here. And I don’t know if I should tell Cupid he’s here or if I should let Strife pick his own time to talk to Cupid.” Ares sighed as he finished. It was definitely a mess.
“Would he talk to Cupid?” Joxer asked.
“I’m sure he will. Unfortunately, by the time he does he’ll have hardened himself against Cupid and he won’t be able to get through to Strife.”
“Hmm,” Joxer murmured. He looked at Ares. Things were coming together for him now. He remembered Aphrodite’s words from so long ago. ‘Cupe’s arrows don’t really work on Gods for long. The God’s own powers, like, negate the effects after a few days. Not many people know that. And no Gods except me and Cupie, of course.’ Then there was the obvious guilt radiating off of Ares. The whole time he’d been telling the story, he had refused to look Joxer in the eye. And his grip on Strife had gotten tighter and tighter until Joxer was sure the god would have bruises tomorrow. It all came together.
“It wore off, didn’t it?” Joxer asked Ares in a quiet tone.
Ares flinched. This was it. The moment of truth. It would be a lot easier if Strife wasn’t in his lap, but he would make do. “Yes, it wore off. It actually wore off yesterday. Joxer, everything that has happened has been because I wanted it too. I have wanted you for years, but there was never an opportunity.”
“Never an opportunity!” Joxer yelled. “You’re my God! There was always an opportunity. Don’t you know I love you? That I’ve always loved you? How can you say you never had a chance?”
Ares didn’t have much of a chance to answer though as Joxer’s yelling had awakened Strife and he panicked. As Strife flashed out, terror on his face, Ares prepared to go after him, only to be stopped by a low, dark voice. “Don’t you dare flash out and leave me here. You have some explaining to do, Ares.”
Ares froze, anger filling him. How dare this, this mortal, try and tell him what to do. Who, exactly, was the God around here after all? Who was in charge? He was. Ares whipped around, his face a mask of frozen ice that would have sent even the strongest God quailing to their knees. It left no doubt as to exactly how angry Ares was at Joxer’s edict. His eyes landed on the foolish mortal.
Joxer stood there, legs slightly spread out, arms crossed and firmly planted on his waist, and a scowl on his normally cheery face. His eyes were dark and roiling and gave mute testimony to the trouble that Ares was about to find himself in if he didn’t give the right answer to Joxer. He was obviously not impressed by an angry Ares.
Who was in charge here? Ares reluctantly concluded it wasn’t him for all that his name was on the temple door.
He tried one last time. “But Strife…” he started, only to be interrupted.
“Cupid will take care of Strife,” Joxer stated.
Ares blinked. “And how exactly is that going to happen when Strife isn’t talking to Cupid?” he asked sarcastically.
Joxer’s eyes narrowed and Ares felt a slight tremble in his stomach that he refused to believe was nervousness. He just shouldn’t have had the extra ambrosia last night that was all. It always upset his stomach when he did that. Yes, that was it. “Where do you think Strife flashed off too, Ares?” Joxer asked. “Angry or not, he still loves Cupid. I’d bet money on the fact that there is a very happy Cupid, with a not so happy Strife, right about now.”
‘Joxer had a point.’ Ares thought to himself. Strife had panicked, so he would have automatically reverted to his safe place. Since he wasn’t here in the temple, it had to be somewhere else. And since Strife had no other safe places, he must have gone to someone who made him feel safe. And since, once again, he wasn’t here in the temple that could only mean one person. Cupid.
Ares reluctantly conceded the point. Then he realized he was alone with Joxer. Normally he would have been thrilled and on his way to the bedroom by now with Joxer in his arms. However, looking at Joxer who was still glaring at him, Ares had the abruptly sobering thought that he was ALONE with Joxer.
A very pissed off Joxer.
Ares mentally asked himself at what point in time he had lost control and allowed a mortal to dominate him. He wasn’t quite sure, but he planned on having a very long talk with Aphrodite when he got out of this mess. But now it was time to salvage what he could of his relationship with Joxer.
“Wanna get married?” Ares blurted out.
Joxer blinked. “Excuse me? Did you just ask me if I wanted to get married?”
Ares nodded. All the while wondering to himself what in Tartarus he was doing asking Joxer to marry him. Oh sure, he’d planned on asking him. But he’d also planned on doing it in a much more, well, romantic setting than the main chamber of his temple. Ares wasn’t much for romance, but he could do it if sufficiently motivated and he considered Joxer a sufficient motivator. He’d had it all planned out, and so, he was therefore quite disconcerted by his hastily blurted out words.
Joxer stifled a smile as he turned around and presented Ares with his back in pretend contemplation of the question. Not that there was anything to contemplate. Of course he would marry Ares. He wasn’t stupid after all. He just wanted to make Ares suffer. Mentally he gave thanks to Strife for his advice on standing up to Ares. It had been the hardest thing he’d ever had to do, but he’d done it and gotten a marriage proposal out of it too. And the befuddled look on Ares’ face had been a balm to Joxer’s soul. He really had the War God confused. But, while it was nice now, Joxer didn’t think that was how he wanted to keep Ares. He wanted his War God back. While this pliable and almost meek Ares was a nice change, and a welcome one, it wasn’t the Ares Joxer loved. He turned back around to face his God.
“I think you owe me an explanation before you go around throwing out marriage proposals, Ares. Why didn’t you ever tell me? You didn’t have to tell me you wanted me or anything, but it would have been nice to know that you knew I was alive, that I was Joxer in my own right and not just one of Xena’s little sidekicks. I’ve prayed to you my whole life and never even thought you knew my name much less thought about me. That, well, it hurts, Ares.”
Ares sighed. Walking over to Joxer he took his arm and steered him back towards the throne. Sitting down he pulled Joxer into his lap and prepared to bare his soul. He didn’t like doing this, but he would. For Joxer. Because he knew how insecure Joxer was and knew he needed to hear not just the words, but the reasoning behind it.
But it had better not happen again!
“Joxer, I have heard every single one of your prayers since you were a child. No one else amused me like that. I definitely noticed them. But what could I do about it? You were a child. And when you grew up you seemed like you had a good life. You seemed happy. The next time I checked, you were with Xena and I couldn’t very well go popping down there and tell you I wanted you in my bed without getting her riled up. There were difficulties.
I could have tried harder. I know it, and you know it, so I’m not going to deny it. But I never felt this way before. I didn’t really know what to do. So I made sure you were safe. Watched over you and planned how to approach you. If it is any consolation at all, I knew you were on your way to worship at my temple in Corinth. I planned on talking to you then. Cupid’s arrow only preempted this by a few weeks. It all would have happened anyway, believe me.”
Joxer thought about this. He knew Ares was telling the truth because after all why would he lie? He had no reason to. He was a God. If he didn’t want Joxer here he could just send him back to the battlefield. It certainly wasn’t necessary for Ares to reveal his thoughts to Joxer. And he did love Ares. And if Ares was proposing to him, Ares must love him too, even if he had never said the words. It was really the easiest decision Joxer had ever made in his entire life.
“Ares, I don’t know how I’m going to survive being married to you. You’re enough to drive anyone insane,” Joxer finished with a grin.
“I’m going to take that as a yes to my proposal,” Ares said dryly.
“Good ‘cause that’s how it was meant,” Joxer replied cheekily, with a bright smile on his face.
Ares chuckled and pulled Joxer in closer for a hug. He decided while he definitely wanted to take Joxer back to bed, that maybe this cuddling wasn’t so bad. Joxer felt awfully nice in his arms and he smelled delicious. They could sit here for a while. And maybe Strife would come back. He really wanted Cupid and Strife to be happy and he had a feeling that if Strife talked to Joxer it would work out. Ares had just now realized how Joxer had played with him a few minutes ago. Strife could use some advice from someone who wasn’t actually involved.
Ares and Joxer cuddled on the throne for a little longer. Slowly Ares felt himself beginning to nod off when he felt the presence that said incoming God. Strife flashed in. He obviously wasn’t happy.
He saw Ares and Joxer together on the throne and turned around to leave when Joxer slipped out of Ares’s arms and walked over to him.
Ares wasn’t sure what Joxer said, but Strife nodded and then flashed off. When Joxer was resettled in his arms Ares asked him. “So what did you say to him?”
“I just told him that pride wasn’t a good reason for throwing away happiness. I just hope he listens.” Joxer replied.
Ares nodded. “I think he will, Jox. Strife’s smart. He’ll realize that he and Cupid belong together. Everything will be fine. We just have to give it time. Strife’s smart, but he’s stubborn too. He’ll have to think about what you said for a few days.”
Joxer smiled. “I’m sure Cupid will be waiting, no matter how long he takes.”
“I’m sure,” Ares replied. “Now that we have that settled, would you like to take a nap?”
Joxer burst out laughing. “That was awfully subtle, Ar. Why don’t you say what you really mean?” he got out between chuckles.
Ares mock glared. “Well, if you don’t want too.”
“Now, I never said that!” Joxer yelped hastily. He looked up at his God, his lover, and his husband-to-be. “I always want to be with you. I love you.”
For his words he got a soft smile and a soft kiss which rapidly turned into a suck-your-brains out kiss. Ares picked up his mortal and began the walk to the bedroom. Taking a deep breath he said the words out loud for the first time, though he had thought them too many times to count. “I love you, Joxer.” Then before his sensitive mortal could start to get all teary-eyed he completed the thought. “Now lets go to bed!”
Joxer’s laughter trailed behind Ares as he walked off to the bedroom and his new life.
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