AresJoxerCupidStrife - Christine

Foretold
Moving Day
Mi Casa es Su Casa
Fallin'
Bliss
Breakfast
Revenge Is Sweet
And So It Begins
Come to Poppa
Damn Interruptions
Streaking Through the Streets
Heh, My Balls Are Turning Blue
Day-um, Never Knew You Had All That
Wait 'til You See My...Oh!
Say WHAT?!

Title:  Foretold
Author:  Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom:  Xena/Hercules
Series:  Fated
Pairing:  C/S
Rating:  PG13
Archive:  AJCS
Disclaimer:  No damn it, I don't own them!  If I did I'd be in my bedroom boinking the snot out of them instead of writing.
Feedback:  Oh, would you?
Warnings:  Um?  Well, there's curse words here. Does that count?
Acknowledgements:  I would like to thank Sherri, Kris and Hergerbabe for betaing this for me. Chocolate covered Joxer for Hergerbabe and chocolate covered whomever for Sherri and Kris.  I myself prefer a whipped cream covered Strife.  ::drool!::
Dedications:  To Scorpio for continuing to write 'Husband', a story I am thoroughly enjoying. To Hergerbabe for continuing to write 'Life Sucks, but Love's Great'. Course, when I'm chatting with her on AIM, I call it Life Sux Donkey Dick. LOL  To Waitingsky for continuing to write and post 'Fun and Games', a story I am *so* into that I hate having to wait for the next part. ::hint, hint::  To Corona for writing her wonderful 'Making Connections' series. You da bomb, baby!  To StarSteel for continuing to post 'The Last Olympic'. Dude, I am in total awe with this story. You've got Star Trek and Xena all rolled into one. Yippie!  To Brandy who is an excellent writer.  Girl, I don't know how the hell you do it, but keep it up!  To Beth who is one hell of a feedbacker. I don't know how I ever survived writing without your wonderful and very excited comments. Thank you!  To AvidReader who has been there the whole damn time I've been a writer in the Xena Universe. Thank you for everything!  To my wonderful betas, Sherri, Kris and Hergerbabe.  Without the three of you helping me out and encouraging me, my stories would suck rocks and sound about as intelligent as Strife on speed. LOL And last, but not least, to Scribe for writing 'Cupid's Little Helper'.  This story was *so* damn good, I was in absolute awe the whole damn time.  Huggles to everyone and thanks!
Summary:  Ares is a schmuck.


"Friends and family. We are gathered here today to join these two Gods in marriage.  If there is anyone here who thinks these two should not be joined, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Total silence.

"Do you, Strife, son of Eris; take Cupid, son of Ares and Aphrodite; to be your wedded husband?"

"I do," Strife replied, jiggling with nervous energy.

"Do you, Cupid, son of Ares and Aphrodite; take Strife, son of Eris; to be your wedded husband?"

Cupid warily looked from Hera to Strife to his parents and back to Strife. "I do."

Hera smiled kindly at Cupid.  Raising her voice so the entire Pantheon could hear. "Then let all those who are present bear witness, from this day forth, Cupid and Strife shall be known as husband and husband."  Hera lowered her voice back to its normal tone. "You two must now kiss to seal the marriage."

Both godlings eyed each other reluctantly before slowly moving closer to one another.  Cupid leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss onto Strife's lips.  He then took a step back and turned his attention back to his grandmother.

"That concludes this ceremony for today. Thank you for coming."  With that, Hera, Goddess of Marriages and Childbirth, left in a flash of blue sparkles and peacock feathers.

Once Hera had flashed out, the remaining witnesses followed.  The only people left were the newly married couple, Aphrodite, Ares and Eris.

Aphrodite, who had been in tears the whole time, turned angrily towards her brother. "I hope you're happy now."

"Yeah!" Eris growled, giving her twin a look that could strip the varnish off a footlocker.

Ares held his hands up in a placating manner. "Whoa, whoa!  Chill guys. I told you it had to be done."

"Oh, yeah. We remember." Eris lowered her voice in a shockingly similar tone as her twin. "I just came from the Fates, guess what?  Your children have to marry or else Olympus will fall. See ya at the wedding!"

"I do *not* sound like that!" Ares growled, crossing his arms across his chest.

Eris smirked and raised an eyebrow. "Wanna bet?"

"Uh, Unc...?"  Strife began, but was cut off before he could continue.

"Look," Ares growled, ignoring his nephew. "All I did was go over there to see the three tapestry-weaving loonies to ask about one of my followers.  *They're* the ones who told me about the damn prophecy!"  Ares paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. "If there's anyone to be pissed at, it's them!"

Cupid was watching the exchange between his father and aunt in irritation.  "Hey, Dad!"

Aphrodite cut her son off. "What exactly did they say for you to come to the conclusion that they meant our son and nephew?"

Ares closed his eyes, contemplating either hurting his sisters *really* badly or just disappearing.  Course, neither would have been a smart move.  Taking a deep breath, Ares repeated what said tapestry-weaving loonies said to him. "They told me 'once mind dies, love and mischief must come together or all of Olympus will fall'."

Eris threw a hand to her face and shook her head. "Ares, I hate to tell you this, but Psyche didn't die. She just packed her shit and left."

Before Ares could respond, Cupid growled. "*Excuse* me!"

Every head in the room turned towards him in surprise.

Getting everyone's attention...finally, Cupid cleared his throat. "Look, I'm *really* sorry you guys are all mad and stuff at each other and the Fates, but *you* guys aren't the ones who just got married here." Here, Cupid's tone dripped with sarcasm. "Now, if you all will excuse me, I have to go take my *husband* to his room so he can collect all his shit and move into my temple."  With that, Cupid flashed out in an angry shower of golden sparkles.

Before the sparkles could even settle onto the floor, Strife giggled nervously and flashed out after his 'husband'.

"Wow, Cupid sure sounded a bit miffed," Ares announced, breaking the silence.

Eris turned to her brother with a shocked look. "Gee, ya think?"

Aphrodite rolled her eyes and placed her hands onto her hips. "Ar, let's just say, I wouldn't count on having a roll in the hay any time soon." With that, Aphrodite flashed out in a shower of golden sparkles and rose petals.

Ares glared at the spot his sister had been standing. It wasn't *his* fault!  He didn't know that when he had gone to The Fates, they'd say some weird mystical shit to him.  Tartarus!  He was just doing what they had told him.  As much as he hated most of his family, he didn't want to see Olympus fall. Even if it did mean marrying his son off to his nephew. 

"Hello!?"

Ares was startled out of his thoughts by his sister's voice.

"What?"

Eris sighed. "You didn't hear a word I was saying, did you?"

Ares fidgeted. "Um?"

"Thought so," Eris sighed and shook her head.  She moved closer to her brother until she was almost nose to nose with him.  "Listen, Ares and listen good.  If anything happens to my son, I will *rip* off your balls and stuff them down your throat. Got it?" Saying her piece, Eris flashed out in a shower of blue sparkles, leaving Ares gaping after her in surprise.

Ares stood there contemplating why his life had to be so damn complicated.  Eventually, Ares threw up his hands and flashed away in a burst of blue sparkles, his question ringing throughout the temple. "Why me?"



Title:  Moving Day
Author:  Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom:  Xena/Hercules
Series:  Fated
Pairing:  C/S
Rating:   PG13
Archive:  AJCS
Disclaimer:  Own them? Gods, I wish!  I'd be sucking and fucking them into oblivion if I did. :-)
Feedback:  Oh, would you?
Warnings:  None that I know of.
Acknowledgements:  Thanks again go to Sherri and Hergerbabe. Thanks gals!
Summary:  It's moving day!


Cupid reappeared inside of Strife's bedchamber.  A few seconds later, Strife reappeared a few feet from him.  Cupid materialized a couple of sacks and walked over to Strife's closet.  Opening the doors, he began collecting clothes from within and tossing them into the sacks.

Strife looked on with apprehension. "Um, Cupe?"

Cupid growled, but didn't turn around from what he was doing. "What?"

Strife hopped from one foot to another in nervousness.  He had never seen the Love God so pissed before, so he didn't know exactly how to proceed without getting yelled at.  Course, it wasn't like he'd never been yelled at before. He just didn't want to take a chance of having his cock suddenly function for pissing only.

"Uh?  Do you want me to help you move my stuff into your temple?"

Finished with the closet, Cupid headed over to the dressers. Yanking all the drawers out onto the floor, Cupid began stuffing the items from within into the sacks. "Whatever turns you on.  Grab a sack and start packing.  I have better things I could be doing right now."

"Um, okay," Strife replied as he walked over to his bed and grabbed a few of his belongings that were sprawled on top.

Done with the drawers, Cupid set the sacks in the middle of the floor and walked over to where Strife was currently digging through his nightstand.

"What's that?" Cupid asked when he saw Strife hurriedly packing some scrolls into his sack.

Strife jumped and turned around, holding the scrolls tightly to his chest. "These? Oh, they're just some journals I've kept since I learned how to write."

Cupid raised an eyebrow at his 'husband'. "I didn't know you kept journals."

"Oh, yeah.  I've written down everything that's ever happened to me.  It gave me something constructive to do when I wasn't busy working for Unc."

At the mention of Ares, Cupid snarled. "Yes, well, hurry up so we can get out of here."

Turning back around, Strife quickly stuffed the last of his belongings in and closed up the sack.  Giving Cupid a wide berth, Strife placed his sack with the others and turned to look at Cupid.  Cupid walked over to the sacks and waved his hand, sending them to his temple.  Looking around one last time, Cupid turned his attention back onto Strife. "We get everything?"

Strife glanced quickly around the room before nodding his head in confirmation. "Yeah, that's it."

"Good," Cupid said as he flashed out in a shower of golden sparkles.

Strife sighed, looked sadly around his room one last time before he too flashed out.



Title: Mi Casa es Su Casa
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Series: Fated
Pairing: C/S
Rating: PG13
Archive: AJCS
Disclaimer: ::looks sadly at pouts forming on four gorgeous faces:: Sorry, boys. Ren pics say I don't own you. Maybe next time?
Feedback: Oh, would you?
Warnings: Uh, Cupid continues to be a prick.
Acknowledgements: More huggles and choccie covered Gods and mortal to Sherri and Hergerbabe.
Summary: Life can't get much worse than this. Can it?


Strife reappeared inside of a sickeningly bright room. Throwing a hand over his eyes, he whimpered a bit. He didn't know how Cupid could live in such a 'cheerful' temple, but unfortunately, now Strife had to also. Taking a few deep breaths, Strife slowly removed his hand from his eyes. Blinking a couple of times, he curiously looked around his surroundings.

To his far right was a door with a little plaque on it, which read 'Bliss' Room'. He smiled briefly to himself. He had almost forgotten Cupid had a son. He'd never actually met Bliss before, but from what Unc Ares had told him, he was quite a handful.

He continued to glance around at the bright temple. Towards his immediate left, he saw Cupid angrily hauling the three sacks into one of the rooms. Strife paused a moment, unsure of what he should say or do. Strife was sure his mother was getting a major energy rush off of Cupid's bad vibes, but he seriously wondered if she was enjoying it or not.

Shrugging his shoulders, Strife wiggled on over towards Cupid. Walking through the open doorway, he looked around. He raised an eyebrow at how 'dull' it looked. He was sure Cupid's room would be a bit more...cheery.

"Your room's...uh...nice," Strife commented, startling Cupid.

Cupid tossed the sacks onto the bed. Turning around, Cupid sighed. "This isn't *my* room. It's *your* room. My room's down the hall," Cupid replied, jerking a thumb vaguely in said room's direction.

Strife didn't know what to feel at that statement. Relief? Hurt? Oh yeah, this was going to be just *so* much fun...not! Closing his eyes for a moment, Strife took in a deep breath and let it out. "Um, ooo-kay. So, uh...why the separate rooms? We *are* married now."

Cupid growled low in his throat. "Yes, I know this. Remember, *I* was at the ceremony too." He folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the doorframe. "We may have been forced into marriage, but no one *I* remember said anything about us having to share a room, let alone a bed. So deal." With that, Cupid turned and walked out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Strife blinked at the closed door, trying to figure out what he had done to warrant such hostility from the Love God. Yes, Cupid had wound up married to him, but it's not like *he* had had any say in that. Sighing, Strife sat heavily onto the bed. Dropping his head into his hands, he shook it in despair. He was *so* gonna kill his uncle for this.



Title:   Fallin'
Author:  Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom:  Xena/Hercules
Series:  Fated
Pairing:  C/S
Rating:   PG13
Archive:  AJCS
Disclaimer:  ::stands protectively in front of bedroom door::  I ain't got no one in here!  ::giggles secretly as Ren Pics walks off::  That was close.  ::opens door::  Alright boys, momma's back for some action!  :-)
Feedback:  Oh, would you?
Warnings:  Tissue warning, maybe?
Author's Note:  Um, I 'borrowed' the title from Alicia Keys. :-\
Acknowledgements:  A butt nekkid and begging Joxer to Hergerbabe. An Ares covered in carmel syrup to Sherri.  And a nekkid Ares serving Kris Belgian chocolates in bed.
Summary:  The reason Cupid has been acting like an ass.


Cupid slammed the door to his room and stalked over to his bed. Plopping his ass down onto it, Cupid placed his elbows onto his knees, his face in his hands, and wept.  After what he had thought of as two wonderful years of marriage to Psyche, it all went to shit when he'd woken up one morning to find a note on what used to be Psyche's pillow.

Basically, the note told him that she had been bored to tears with their marriage and was leaving him for 'greener pastures'.  She also told him that she was leaving Bliss with Cupid cause she didn't want Bliss to 'cramp her style'.

Shocked beyond words, Cupid had flashed out of his temple and had reappeared inside of his mother's temple.  Still in a daze, he showed his mother the note.  Aphrodite had been very supportive and pissed as well with Psyche.

Cupid had been too out of it to argue with his mother when she suggested going to Ares to let him know what had happened.  But before they could do that, Ares had flashed into Aphrodite's temple and told them Cupid was to marry Strife. 

Aphrodite had gaped at Ares when he told her that.  She had asked him why and that's when he had told her of the Fates' prophecy.  With hands on hips, she had asked him how he knew that Cupid was once again a free agent.  Ares told Aphrodite that he had seen Psyche coming out of their temple carrying a couple of bags when he had been on his way to pick up Bliss for Cupid.

Cupid had watched the exchange between his parents in mild curiosity.  He was still upset over what his wife had done to really care or pay attention to much of what was being said.

The next day, Cupid found himself in his grandmother's temple, being married to his cousin Strife.  Cupid had never really had any dealings with his cousin before, so he wasn't sure what to expect. 

Cupid hadn't meant to take his heartbreak out on Strife, but since he was now stuck with him, he’d been the one in the line of fire.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Cupid blinked his clothes away and prepared for bed.  He'd need his strength for tomorrow since he had plans to get back at his father for pushing him into a marriage with someone he didn't even love.  With that thought in mind, Cupid rolled over onto his stomach and awaited Morpheus' realm to overtake him.

End of Fallin'

~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fallin' by Alicia Keys

I keep on fallin' in and out
of love with you.
Sometimes I love you.
Sometimes you make me blue.

Sometimes I feel good.
At times I feel used.
Lovin' you darlin'
makes me so confused.

I keep on fallin' in and out
of love with you.
I never loved someone
the way that I love you.

Oh. Oh.
I never felt this way.
How do you give me so much pleasure
and cause me so much pain?

Just when I think
I've taken more then would fool,
I start fallin' back in love with you.

I keep on fallin' in and out
of love with you.
I never loved someone
the way that I love you.



Title:   Bliss
Author:  Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom:  Xena/Hercules
Series:  Fated
Pairing:  C/S
Rating:   PG
Archive:  AJCS
Disclaimer:  Yup, they're mine so deal.  ::fidgets under the glare from
Ren
Pic's lawyers::  Hey! I was only kidding...sheesh!
Feedback:  Oh, would you?
Warnings:  None...for now. :-D
Acknowledgements:  Kris, Sherri and Hergerbabe, ya'll the bombs baby!
Dedication:  To my three year old son, Thomas.  He's the one I get all
the
baby talk from when I write Bliss.
Summary:  Who needs alarm clocks?


Strife was sound asleep in his room until he was rudely awakened by a
knee
making contact with his groin.  Sitting up with a speed born from
hundreds
of years of men protecting their family jewels; Strife, still
half-asleep,
painfully clutched at his abused genitals.

Opening a sleep-blurred eye; his vision was obstructed by a face full
of
feathers.  In his sleep-induced fog, Strife had a sudden moment of
panic. 
Was Cupid trying to attack him while he slept?  That thought flew
straight
out the window when his ears were assaulted by a high pitched giggle.

Popping open his eyes, he finally saw what he thought had attacked him. 
There was a little winged boy jumping on his bed.  Strife blinked his
eyes
to clear them better.  Correction, a wet and naked, little winged boy
jumping on his bed.  The little boy was a spitting image of Cupid.  Ah,
this
must be Bliss.

"Who you?"  Bliss asked, still jumping on the bed and getting the
sheets
wet.

Strife smiled. "I'm Strife.  Why are you wet?"

Bliss stopped his jumping and crinkled his little eyebrows together. 
"Dada
give me baff.  I no like baffs, me run 'way to hide."

Before Strife could reply, a wet and very disheveled looking Cupid came
flying through the door.  "There you are, you little ankle biter!"

Bliss frowned. "Me no ankle bitoh!  Me's a knee knockoh!  G'anpa says
so!" 
Bliss folded his little arms across his chest and pouted.

"Well, if grandpa said so, then I stand corrected," Cupid laughed. 
Walking
over to Strife's bed, Cupid picked up his wet and squirming son.  "Come
on,
sweetie.  We have to go dry you off."

Halfway out the door, Cupid turned and shrugged his shoulders. "Sorry
about
this.  He's always running away."  With that, Cupid walked out of the
room.

Bliss' question echoed in the hall. "Is we gonna see G'anpa?"

Strife blinked a couple of times.  Looking from the door to his bed, he
finally let loose with a gale of giggles.  He'd only been around Bliss
for a
few minutes and already he liked the kid.  Still racked with giggles,
Strife
fell back on his bed.  Oh, the things he could teach his new stepson. 
With
that lovely thought in mind, Strife got out of bed and clothed himself;
ready for a new day.



Title: Breakfast
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Series: Fated
Pairing: C/S
Rating: PG13
Archive: AJCS
Disclaimer: Now, come on. If I really did own them, do you think I'd be sitting in front of my computer writing about them? Not just no, but hell *fuck* no.
Feedback: Well, that *would* be nice.
Warnings: None that I'm aware of.
Notes: I may have inadvertantly borrowed a sentence from Scorpio. I'm not totally sure, but if I did, consider it a compliment. =) Also, I got some of this from the lovely Scorpio too. I wasn't trying to copy, I just thought it'd be a cute idea.
Acknowledgements: Many thanks to Kris, Sherri, Hergerbabe and Carrie for betaing this for me. It's always good to have more then one beta. =) If there are any other mistakes then blame me. My eyesight is bad. =\
Summary: Breakfast is served!



Dressed and feeling a bit better about life, Strife walked out of his room and down the hall towards the dining area. He stopped and had to throw a hand over his mouth to stop the giggles that wanted to erupt from his mouth.

Cupid was seated at the head of the table and Bliss was seated on his right in something resembling a high chair. Cupid was trying to eat his breakfast while Bliss was currently wearing his own. Strife smiled and a giggle popped out.

Cupid looked up at the noise to see Strife's mouth twitching with amusement. Cupid rolled his eyes and sighed. "You want to come have a seat and eat something?"

Strife flashed Cupid a genuine smile before flouncing over to the table, sitting on Cupid's left side. "So, what's there to eat?"

"Sweetcakes, apple slices, grapes and, of course, ambrosia. Mustn't forget our daily intake of ambrosia," Cupid replied with a grimace.

Bliss dipped his spoon into his jellied ambrosia and made a face. "'Brosia is ucky."

"That may be, but it's good for you, little man," Cupid said, taking a bite of his own.

Strife looked from Bliss to Cupid and down at his own serving of ambrosia. "I know this is the 'food of the Gods', but does it have to taste like something Cerberus upchucked?"

"Um, trying to eat here," Cupid said with a grimace. Bliss just stared at his cousin with wide-eyed curiosity. He had no idea what the two adults were talking about, but it had to be something icky from his daddy's expression.

Strife laughed and quickly scooped up some of his own ambrosia. "Ya know, if you don't breathe while eating this, it's not half bad."

Cupid raised an eyebrow at Strife and continued eating. He wasn't too comfortable having Strife sitting so close to himself, but he didn't want to go back to acting like an ass around his new husband. Tartarus, it wasn't Strife's fault they were in this mess. Oh, no. It was his father's fault and Cupid was itching to get revenge.

Bliss continued eating his ucky ambrosia while staring at his father. He didn't know why his daddy had such a mean look on his face, but he vowed to change that. Scooping up some more ambrosia onto his little spoon, Bliss drew his arm back then flung it forward. Bliss let out a squeak of laughter at the shocked look on his cousin's face.

Strife had been about to scoop some of his own ambrosia into his mouth when he suddenly felt a tiny burst of mischief energy flash into his body. Sensing where it may have come from, Strife looked up in time to get a face full of sticky, quivering ambrosia. He sat there in his seat, stunned by the impact.

Cupid choked on a mouthfull of sweetcake, trying to hold back his sudden burst of laughter. Poor Bliss just sat there, lips trembling when he found no one had laughed at what he'd done. Strife blinked for a minute, wondering what he should do. He didn't want to scold the little Godling since he *did* get a little energy from the 'attack'.

Swiping a hand across his face, Strife scooped his own spoon into his bowl and launched the contents at Bliss. Bliss gasped, startled by the assault. Giggling, Bliss readied his own spoon and flung it back at Strife.

While the two troublemakers were having an all out food fight, Cupid opened his mouth to say something when he got hit in the face also. Bliss squeaked again and started to giggle uncontrollably at the look of surprise on his daddy's face. Cupid turned his head to see his son almost doubled over with giggles as Strife held a hand to his stomach, laughing, and pointed at Cupid.

Laughing inwardly, Cupid waved a hand and covered both Strife and his son in ambrosia; declaring himself the winner of the food fight.

Strife stood up from his seat and snapped his fingers, cleaning up the table and everyone around it. Nodding in satisfaction, Strife sat back down. "Now, *that* was fun!" Bliss giggled some more, smiling happily at his silly cousin.

"Well, if you two children are quite finished, I've got to get Bliss over to Dad's. He promised he'd watch him for the day," Cupid said, getting up from the table.

"Yay! We gonna see G'anpa!" Bliss cried out, clapping his hands in excitement.

Strife got up along with Cupid. "I'll go with you. I have some things to 'discuss' with Unc."

Cupid nodded and walked over to Bliss, hauling him from out of his high chair. "Cool. Let's go." With that, the three gods flashed out.



Title: Revenge is Sweet
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Series: Fated
Pairing: C/S
Rating: PG13
Archive: AJCS
Disclaimer: I don't own nothing on this planet except for a few articles of clothing.
Feedback: Yes, please. My muses are asking for raises.
Warnings: Not a one.
Acknowledgements: Many huggles to Sherri, Carrie and Hergerbabe.
Summary: Poor Ares.

Cupid, Strife and Bliss rematerialized inside of Ares' home temple on Olympus. Not sensing his father immediately, Cupid carried Bliss with him to one of the many chairs scattered throughout. Strife shifted nervously from foot to foot. "Uh, Cupe? How long are we gonna wait for Unc?"

Cupid looked up from blowing raspberries on his son's cheek before replying, "Until he shows his happy ass. I told you I had a plan for revenge and I'm not leaving until I carry it out."

Strife blinked before nodding. "Alright."

The next few hours felt like they were going by way too slow for Cupid, as they waited for Ares to appear. Cupid was on the verge of yelling at Strife's constant pacing when Ares finally did show up.

Ares appeared in a muted flash of sparkles. He was making his way to his throne, when he stopped suddenly at the sight of his son, grandson and nephew/son-in-law. Raising an amused eyebrow, Ares walked over to his family. "What brings you three here? Not that I'm complaining."

Setting Bliss down on his vacated seat Cupid walked right up to his father, raised his hand and blew a handful of sparklies into his face, before whispering a few words that Strife couldn't make out from his vantage point.

Ares sneezed, then blinked the sparklies out of his eyes. Once the residue had disappeared, Ares' eyes went wide and with a yelp he flashed out.

Strife crinkled his eyebrows and looked over at his spouse. "What did you just do to Unc, Cupe?"

Cupid smirked and walked back over to his son. "Just a harmless bit of revenge. It'll be more embarrassing than lethal, believe me."

Strife fidgeted a bit before shrugging his shoulders. Far be it for him to think Cupid would lie. Why would he? He jerked suddenly as a burst of mischief energy went flying through him. "Oh, Cupe, you're evil." Strife giggled, shaking with excess energy. Cupid just smiled and collected his son from off of his chair.

"Ready to go back?" Cupid asked as he made his way back over to Strife.

Strife snorted before replying, "Yeah, I am." With that, the three of them flashed out and reappeared in Cupid's temple.



Title: And So It Begins
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Series: Fated
Pairing: C/S
Rating: PG13
Archive: AJCS
Disclaimer: I don't own shiznit.
Feedback: *whines* Please?
Warnings: Just one: I'm nuts.
Acknowledgements: Thanks to Hergerbabe for betaing this for me. You rock,
girlie.
Summary: Ah, the revenge begins.


"Joxer!" Gabrielle screeched loudly.

Joxer refrained from rolling his eyes at the annoying bard. Once upon a time
he had loved her, but after spending close to two years in her company, the
love didn't just die, it fled in terror. "Yes, Gabby?"

Gabrielle bopped him on the head with her staff. "Didn't Xena tell you to
gut the fish?"

"I already did. It's over there on that leaf next to your bag."

Gabrielle blinked and flushed in embarrassment. Not liking that, she bopped
him once more. "Well, good. Now, out of my way." With that, she flounced
off, blonde hair flapping in the breeze.

Joxer *really* didn't like her anymore. Watching as her hair fluttered
around her shoulders, he contemplated cutting it all off one day while she
slept. That'd teach her not to go bopping people for no reason. Sighing
heavily, he was about to make his way over to his side of the fire when a
flash of light startled him. Before he could get rid of the spots in front
of his eyes, Gabrielle yelled, "Ares!"

Joxer blinked a few times before he was suddenly enveloped in a bone
crushing hug. As all the air was squeezed out of him, he could barely make
out what was being said.

"Joxie! How are you? Do you want anything, my sweet?"

Joxer's eyes bugged out of his head. "Uh...," he wheezed. Ares finally let
up on his hugging and proceeded to grope and manhandle Joxer's person. Joxer
frantically stepped away from the deranged War God as he tried his damnedest
to bat away the still groping hands.

Joxer stopped suddenly when he bumped into a gaping Xena. "Help?" Xena just
stood there, not sure whether to draw her sword or giggle uncontrollably.
She opted for stepping in front of Joxer instead.

"Ares, what are you doing here and why are you bothering Joxer?" Xena asked
as she countered move for move with a grappling Ares.

Ares pouted when he couldn't get hold of his new snuggle bunny.
Straightening up, Ares glared at his daughter. "I'm not here for you. I came
to collect my love muffin, so move."

Xena was momentarily struck speechless as she crinkled her eyebrows together
and mouthed 'love muffin?', as Ares sidled around her and went after Joxer
once again. Joxer let out a yelp and ran to the other side of Xena. For a
few moments all there was in the camping area was the sound of Joxer yelping
and running as a love struck Ares ran after him. They wound up doing a few
laps around Xena's still form.

Gabrielle, who had been watching with wide-eyed horror, finally got tired of
the cat and mouse game. On their next lap, she struck her staff out,
tripping Ares. Xena finally shook off her daze when she realized what her
friend had just done. Making a mental note to smack some sense into
Gabrielle later, Xena stood guard in front of her female companion, knowing
what would probably happen once her father got up.

Ares threw a death-will-rain-down-on-you glare towards Gabrielle, but
instead of going through with his threat, he caught sight of Joxer and they
picked up from where they had left off, Joxer yelping the whole time.

@>*~

Cupid rolled his eyes at his spouse's antics. Strife was curled into a ball,
on the floor, laughing so hard, tears were flowing down his face. Bliss was
sitting on the floor next to his father's feet eyeing his loony
cousin/step-father. Cupid wondered if it had been a good idea to let Strife
view what was happening through the scrying mirror.

"It's not that funny, Strife."

Strife controlled himself long enough to look at his spouse. "Oh, yes, yes
it is." At a yelp from the mirror, Strife once again was laughing.

Cupid sighed and looked down at his son. "Your step-father is nuts." Bliss
raised his head to look at his dad and giggled. "Great, now I got you
going," Cupid muttered as he leaned his head back and let a smile of his own
break out across his face.

Title: Come to Poppa
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Series: Fated
Pairing: C/S, A/J (eventually)
Rating: PG13
Archive: AJCS, my site
Disclaimer: Um, I have some used undies if ya'll really want to sue me.
Feedback: It's my crack.
Warnings: Unfortunately, this series is going to get nuttier.
Acknowledgements: To everyone who reads this. *smooch*
Summary: Ares is still 'infected' with the happy dust.

Gabrielle leaned back against a tree, yawning from boredom as Ares and Joxer
continued their chase. It had been amusing, oh, two hours ago, but now it
was just plain tedious to watch. Every once in a while, Ares would catch
hold of Joxer, kiss the breath from him and try to strip him before Joxer
would knee Ares in the groin and take off again. Sighing, she opened up her
bag and retrieved a parchment of paper and quill. If all they were going to
do was watch Ares and Joxer, then she had better stuff to do.

Xena winced as she moved, causing her knee to throb in pain. Every time her
father ran by her, she had this sudden urge to gut him. She had been trying
to help her friend out and got a whack in the leg for her troubles by Ares'
sheathed sword.

Joxer finally gave up trying to run from the demented War God and came to a
screeching halt. Ares smiled when he saw his snuggle bunny had stopped
running, but his forward momentum kept him moving forward and he crashed
into Joxer with a clanging of armor and the squelching of leather.

Gabrielle looked up at the commotion with a bored look on her face before
turning her attention back down to writing her great epic of her and Xena
doing it like deranged Easter Bunnies. Even though the Easter Bunny won't be
made up for another, oh, thousand or so years. But I digress.

Xena hobbled over to Gabrielle and sat down slowly so as not to hurt herself
anymore. Gabrielle scooted over a bit. "I see they stopped running,"
Gabrielle said, continuing to write.

"So it appears. Actually, right now I don't care what happens to either. My
damn knee hurts," she said, stretching out the abused appendage. Gabrielle
snorted in agreement. Well, she more likely had a big booger which is why
she snorted, but knowing Gabrielle, one couldn't tell for sure.

Where was I? Oh, yes.

Ares had landed on Joxer and Joxer's face was kissing dirt. This position
gave Ares easy access to his snuggle bunny's ass and being the strategist he
was, he took full advantage. With a wave of his free hand, Ares made Joxer's
pants disappear. Xena had been watching this all in awe and rapture until
the pants going bye-bye thing happened. She turned red and quickly looked
the other way, suddenly finding a pile of dog shit fascinating. Well, not
really, but it was better then looking at Joxer's pale ass. Tartarus, didn't
that boy get any sun?

Joxer felt a sudden draft and looked behind himself to see...himself.
Wiggling away from Ares while yelping the whole time, he jumped up, dangly
bits swaying in the breeze and hightailed it for parts unknown. A grinning,
horny, equally butt nekkid War God (tm) hot on his heels.

Gabrielle looked up once again at the commotion and choked on her spit.
Nothing to give you a heart attack like seeing the bare ass of a God.

@>*~

Strife was currently rolling around on the temple floor, laughing so hard
sounds were coming from his body. Just for you slow people out there, think
of this little ditty: beans, beans, the musical fruit, k?

Waving a hand in front of his nose, Cupid rolled his eyes and bent down to
retrieve his equally giggling son. Bliss was about two more giggles away
from looking like a plucked chicken before his daddy picked him up. Oh,
sure. His wings would grow back after he was done with his snark attack, but
it still looked grody.

Leaving his hysterical husband behind, Cupid flashed himself and his fuzzy
son back to his room to put him to bed. As he was in mid transport, Cupid
wondered idly if he might have used a bit too much of the 'fuck me now, hot
stuff!' dust. Nah.

End of Come to Poppa



Title: Damn Interruptions
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Series: Fated
Pairing: A/J (eventually)
Rating: R
Archive: AJCS, my site
Disclaimer: I own nothing but butt lint, but you're welcome to take it if
you must.
Feedback: Yes, I wanna feel the love.
Warnings: No, but I do need prozac now. =\
Acknowledgements: To everyone who reads this. *smooch*
Summary: Ares just can't get a hold of Joxer's ass, damnit.


Joxer was half way to Corinth when he tripped over a tree branch that
someone or something had left in his path. Well, actually, he's just clumsy,
but shhh, don't tell him that. Skidding about a foot along the ground,
yelping as his uhm, dangly bits got abused, Joxer sighed to himself and
wondered who or what he had pissed off.

Ares broke out into a silly grin at seeing his snuggle bunny (tm) lying on
the ground, waiting for him. With a perfect swan dive, actually, I'd give
him an eight on form, he landed with a chorus of 'oofs' on top of Joxer.
Getting his second wind after having what little left of air squished out of
his lungs by the surprisngly heavy War God, Joxer began bucking like a Rodeo
Bronco. I really need to think up better euphenisms for Ancient Greece. =\

Before Ares could slick up Joxer's hole and have his way with him, a bright
flash of pink hearts, yellow moons and er, I meant, pink hearts and glitter
interrupted the pair. Aphrodite came into being infront of the two men and
produced a seat underneath her butt so she wouldn't get dirt in the crack of
her ass. Hey, nothing like finding dirt and sand in places you never knew
exsisted. But I digress.

Ares saw his sister and dropped his face against Joxer's ass, making Joxer
squeak and buck some more. Aphrodite raised a plucked eyebrow at the pair
before arranging herself to look more girly. "Ares, what in the world are
you doing to poor Joxie?"

"Well, before you showed your sparkly ass here, I was about to stick it to
him," Ares replied between licks and sniffs to Joxer's sweaty ass crack.
Actually, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not cause I've smelt sweaty
butts before and it ain't pretty, but then they are in Greece where you were
lucky to bathe more then once a month. Um, yeah.

"Help me, Aphrodite, please? I'm too young to be stuck by Ares," Joxer
pleaded, continuing to squirm and such against the dead weight on top of
him. Damn, Ares needed to lay off the extra helping of Ambrosia.

Aphrodite squinted at the pair and giggled to herself when she saw one of
her son's spells covering Ares. Well, it did serve the behemoth right for
being dumb, but poor Joxie didn't deserve to be groped and rammed by a horny
War God (tm). Waving her hand, Aphrodite tried to remove the 'gods you're
sexy!' spell from Ares, but she encountered a shield blocking her attempts.
Well, shit. She'd forgotten that Gods can't undo what other Gods did.
Actually, I forgot, but shh, don't tell anyone.

Getting up from her sparkly chair, Aphrodite folded her arms across her DD
chest, okay so they're more like B cups, but this is *my* story, so there,
and shook her head. "Sorry, Joxie, but Cupie put this spell on Ares and
there's no way I can get rid of it. I'd find some way to go to his temple
and ask him to do it for you."

Joxer sighed and kissed dirt again. "Well, Aphrodite, can't you just call
him here?"

"No can do, Joxie. I've got an orgy to get to and the boys are awfully pouty
when I'm late. Tootles!" Saying her peace, she flashed out in a flash of
flashy pink sparklies. I think I used too many 'flashes' in my paragraph,
but ya'll can bite me if ya don't like it. Anyway...

"Great," Joxer frowned. He had no idea what in Tartarus to do to get the
horny War God (tm) from fullfilling his obsession with his butt crack.

Suddenly!

Yes, there's more to this then Joxer giving up. What'd ya think, this would
end with Joxer rutting around like a stuffed pig? Pfft, shows how much ya'll
know me.

Ares smiled once more when he realized no one could interrupt his and
Joxer's boot knocking when suddenly thirty bucked toothed, smelly, grungy,
fugly ass bandits jumped out from no where! Ares was pulled away from his
snuggle bunny (tm) and frisked to within an inch of his life for anything he
might have been hiding in his uhm, orafices. Well, where else would one put
stuff if they're butt ass nekkid?

Joxer, seeing that his would be molestor was otherwise preoccupied, booked
it towards the nearest temple to Cupid. I guess he carried a GPS on him or
something cause even I don't know where the hell Cupid's temple was.

Ares, noticing his snuggle bunny (tm) and keeper of his vienerschlide, hey
it's a word!, growled low in his throat and proceeded to get medieval on all
the bandits' asses. Two minutes later, all that was left of the bandits were
slimy, gooey puddles of er, goo. Cracking his neck, Ares took off to where
he last saw Joxer running like his ass hairs were on fire. Hell, he probably
had his own GPS too.

End of Damn Interruptions



Title: Streaking Through the Streets
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Series: Fated
Pairing: C/S, A/J (I'm getting there!)
Rating: R
Archive: AJCS, my site
Disclaimer: If I did own these boys, I'd be making porn videos. Heh.
Feedback: Yes, I wanna feel the love.
Warnings: Just more nekkid people (tm)
Acknowledgements: To everyone who reads this. *smooch*
Summary: Hark! The dynamic duo make an appearance!

Hercules and Iolaus were walking along the streets of Corinth,
prostituing themselves for their next meal. Well, okay, not really,
but could you imagine? Hercules saying 'no dinar, no boomboom', but
yeah, anyway...

Iolaus had a chicken leg in one hand and was gesturing avidly with
the other. Hercules would 'mmmhmm' and 'uh huh' every so often to the
tale Iolaus was reliving. The two continued their trek along the
streets when a streak of white ran by them. Stopping in mid sentence,
Iolaus turned to his friend and raised an eyebrow. "Was that Joxer?"

"You know, I haven't a clue. But if it was, Strife's got some
competition for palest ass in Greece," Hercules said, pausing to
rearrange his nuts. Hey! He's a guy and even hero type guys need to
juggle their balls once in a while. I have no idea why, but I guess
they like to check to make sure they're still there.

A few minutes later, Hercules was kissing dirt. Ares had ran head
long into his brother, sending the two of them sprawling along the
dirt. Iolaus blinked a few times, shrugged his shoulders and took
another bite from his chicken. Seeing Gods come out of no where had
gotten old a long time ago. Ever since the Academy, when Hercules and
himself had been buddies, now you know room mates was far from what
they were. Think about it! Two young strapping males with hormones to
knock a satyr on his ass. I'll let you do the math. Now where was I?
Oh, yeah.

Hercules finally got his feet underneath him, spitting out clumps of
horse shit, and turned to glare at the idiot who used him for a
tackling dummy. I told you, I'm working on the euphenisms! So shush.
When Hercules saw a butt nekkid Ares (tm) looking frantically around,
he crossed his arms over his chest and bitched. "Ares, what in
Tartarus are you doing here and why in Hades are you naked?"

Ares turned glazed over eyes to his brother and blinked. He had this
look on his face like he had just stepped in dog shit and couldn't
get the damn stuff off his boot. "Have any of you guys seen my
snuggle bunny (tm)?"

Hercules had his mouth open, ready to argue, but it kind of got stuck
open at hearing his bad ass brother call someone or something
his 'snuggle bunny' (tm). Iolaus pursed his lips and thought a
moment. As the candle lit up over his head, setting fire to his hair,
he said while absently putting the flames out, "Was this person butt
naked with a pale ass, spriting like he had the runs?"

Ares perked up and grinned, scaring a few peasants walking by, "Yeah!
That was him!"

"Well, he went that way," Iolaus said, pointing toward a row of off
white, okay, *dirty*, buildings.

Ares squealed in happiness and took off after his sweetums (tm),
leaving his brother and the blonde one watching in curiosity. "Should
we go after him?" Hercules asked, raising a hand to pinch one of his
nostrils closed and snorting out a booger. It took him a couple of
tries to get that particular nasty move down correctly. You couldn't
imagine the amount of vests he'd had to throw away cause he kept
aiming too far down. Er, yeah.

"Nah. Looks like Joxer's going to be getting him some soon, so I'd
stay out of it this time," Iolaus replied, a grimace crossing his
features at the squicky snot blowing thing Hercules had done.

What do you mean Hercules would never do that? How the hell would you
know? They only ever showed him being a prissy ass, they never showed
his true self. Would you have really wanted to see the real way they
lived back then? No? Then shut it.

With that, the two heroes went on their merry way toward Window
Twanky's tent of dance. They had a few things they needed to do. I
don't know what, but it probably wasn't gonna be pretty.

@>*~

Back at Cupid's temple on Olympus, Strife had finally gotten over his
snark attack for the time being. With a wave of his hand, he flashed
himself out of the main rooms and to his bedroom. He flashed his
clothes off, so he could bathe himself. Hey, if Gods can do miracles
and shit, they can bathe regularly.

Finished with washing himself off, he wrapped a towel around his
waist. It slung low on his hips like a tool belt. As long as he
didn't bend over, he wouldn't have to worry about Plumber's Crack.
Out in his main bedroom area, in other words, he went from the
bathing chambers to the actual area where his bed was sitting.
Sheesh, ya'll are dense. He took his towel off and turned so his back
was facing the door to his room.

Well, lo and behold, he suddenly felt a drafty breeze swirling around
his ass as the door came flying open. Yup, you guessed it, it was
Cupid. Now, remember way back when these two first moved in with each
other how Cupid was being a bitch? Weeeell, he caught sight of that
pale ass (tm) and his mouth started drooling. He looked like
Cereberus being offered a brand new chew toy.

Clearing his throat, since he didn't know what else to do. Well, he
did, but come on, people. I ain't done with the actual plot of this
yet. Impatient much? Sheesh.

Strife turned slowly around at the throat clearing and paused. He let
loose with a blush turning his skin into strawberry milk instead of
skim milk. I'm telling ya'll, that boy seriously needs a tan.
Anyway...

Before either one could say or do anything, there was a flash of
light. Both turned to see who or what had interrupted their moment,
only to see Hades standing there. Strife bent down and grabbed the
towel so fast, he got friction burn on his dangly bits. Yipping and
yelping in pain, he waddled over to his bed and yelled, "I don't care
what you say, I ain't going back to Tartarus!"

Hades blinked and eyed Cupid. "What's he on?"

Cupid just shrugged and sat down next to Strife. Wondering what old
Hades wanted from them. Well, I could probably tell ya'll now, but
what fun would that be for me? Nope, gonna wait til the next
installment. Ingrates.

End of Streaking Through the Streets



Title: Heh, My Balls Are Turning Blue
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Series: Fated
Pairing: C/S, A/J (Not yet, but it's coming)
Rating: R
Archive: AJCS, my site
Disclaimer: I'd rather own the boys from Smallville, but I'd be happy with
these guys too. =)
Feedback: Yes, feed my hunger.
Warnings: Um, not really.
Acknowledgements: To everyone who reads this. *smooch*
Summary: They don't actually turn blue, but it sure feels like it.-Ares in
Tha Birds, An' Tha Bees, An' All That Othah Good Shit by the lovely and
talented Scribe (Why, yes I did steal it, but I did give her credit! =D)


Joxer continued running through the streets, trying like Tartarus to find
anything dedicated to Cupid. But alas, he couldn't find shit. Sighing, he
stopped in his tracks and eyed a clothing cart near by. Well, no shit, of
course it's convenient. This *is* my story afterall. Duh.

Looking around to make sure no one would catch him stealing, he quickly
grabbed an article of clothing from off of the cart and took off once again.
Hermes felt the theft and did a happy dance. He was one of the big shot
Gods, at least he thought so, since alot of people stole shit and stuff.
Finding a nice little hiding place to put some clothes on, he looked down to
see what he had grabbed and felt like crying. In his haste to cover his
white ass, he had inadvertantly grabbed a Hestia Priestess toga.

Nice picture there, ain't it? =D

Rolling his eyes at his piss poor luck, he quickly dressed and walked back
out into the main gathering of walkers and other poor people who pretended
they were happy with their lives, but really weren't.

Ares scanned the crowd, looking for his snuggle bunny (tm), pouting when he
didn't see anyone butt nekkid. Sniffing back a big booger, well he was a God
and wasn't too keen on snorting out them like his brother, Hercules, he
absently waved a hand, clothing himself once again. Yeah, I know I use lots
of commas, but too bad for you.

With a pout firmly on his face, he suddenly threw back his head and yelled,
"If anyone here has seen a tall, skinny man with no clothes on, tell me
now!" It took about two seconds but he finally found his man when every
person in the village quickly pointed Joxer out.

Joxer's eyes went wide at being snitched on and seeing the grin form on
Ares' face, he turned tail and ran for the next city. Ya know, by the time
Ares finally does get his man's ass, Joxer's gonna be too tired to do
anything but lay there.

Jumping up and kicking his heels in glee, Ares took off after his pookie
pie. Yes, that I made up.

Huh? Well, yes, Ares could use his powers to just go get Joxer, but the only
head he's using right now is called 'Willie' and it's presently trying to
poke Joxer. K?

@>*~

Cupid crossed his arms across his chest and gave his Uncle Hades a dubious
look. "Hades, why are you here?"

"I had a shade come down earlier ranting about two maked men scaring the
daylights out of him, so I decided to do some checking," Hades replied,
looking bored with the whole thing. He really didn't want to be there
chatting with Cupid. Persephone was home for her six month visit and he was
horny as a er, horny toad.

Cupid sighed and leaned back against the bed. "That probably was Joxer and
Ares. I threw a spell on dad cause of his medling in my life and now he's
going to keep chasing Joxer until he finally screws his brains out." Which
according to some wouldn't take long since Joxer ain't the sharpest tool in
the shed, but shh, don't tell him I said that.

Hades sighed and waved a hand. "Fine, fine, whatever. Just next time, make
sure it's not too powerful. I don't want to keep getting people coming down
to my domain cause your father and that mortal scared the life out of
everyone, alright?" At Cupid's nod, Hades flashed out. He had some ass to
pound and he didn't want to keep his woman waiting.

Strife turned back to Cupid. "So, where were we?" He smiled, showing off his
white teeth. Hey, someone in Greece who actually had a full set of teeth.
Hell, here in Texas, you're lucky to find one person with a full set of
teeth, let alone clean ones. I'm telling you, these people would rather buy
lottery tickets then go to the dentist. But I digress.

Cupid sighed and got up from Strife's bed. "Well, it's getting late and I
have work to do tomorrow. See you later, Strife." With that, he flashed off
back to his own room.

Strife stood there, blinking stupidly at where Cupid had been. Sighing to
himself, he went to lay down on his bed and hoped Gods couldn't die from
blue balls. I don't see why guys would even have blue balls to begin with
since they constantly play with themselves on a daily basis, but then guys
in general aren't happy unless they're constantly screwing. Damn them.

End of Heh, My Balls Are Turning Blue



Title: Day-um, Never Knew You Had All That
Author: Christine
Email: qsmistress23@hotmail.com
Pairing: Ares/Joxer, Cupid/Strife
Rating: Kinda, sorta NC17
Feedback: I'd appreciate it.
Warnings: Er, none that I could see.
Author's Note: Lookie! I finally got up off my lazy ass and wrote another
part to this series. Well, only did it cause I'm bored and I'm currently
waiting for Carrie to show her ass.
Author's Note 2: Part 13 of the Fated Series.
Summary: Well, Ares and Joxer finally boink.


Joxer kept running til he finally spotted a temple. The thing is, it wasn't
the temple he was searching for. Looking behind himself to make sure Ares
wasn't right on his ass, he ducked into the temple and quickly made his way
through the curious priests and worshippers. Ducking behind a pillar, he
leaned forward and tried to catch his breath.

Ares smiled to himself and followed his snuggle bunny into the temple,
laughing happily the whole way. Come to find out, Joxer ran into Ares'
temple. Hey, no one ever said he was the brightest crayon in the box. Either
that or it looked like all other temples on earth. You'd think the Gods
would have supervised the construction of their own damn temples. But no.
They were off screwing and fighting. Sigh.

Anyhow, Joxer leaned against the pillar, trying to catch his breath. Seeing
as he had run all over Greece, trying to find something that was Cupid's.
Ares stopped right outside the entrance to his temple and flashed out, only
to flash into said temple. Scanning the inside, he finally caught sight of
Joxer. His ass was kinda hanging off the side of the pillar since the pillar
was thinner then he was, if that was even possible.

Sneakily, Ares made his way over to his little stud muffin and once he got
right behind him, grabbed him by the back of the little dress thing he wore
and yanked him back against his chest. Joxer gave a mighty yelp and kept
trying to remove himself from the horny as a hooker on payday War God. After
a bit, Joxer finally gave up and sagged against Ares' chest. All that
running through Greece finally caught up to him. He was going to turn around
and give in, when a thought suddenly occured to him and his face broke out
into a smile that would have made the Cheshire cat jealous.

"Ares, oh mighty lord and master of all things pointy, I'll willingly be
your sex trampoline on one condition," Joxer said, eyeing the still out of
it War God.

Ares, who was about to bust with joy over finally nabbing his future sperm
receptacle, paused a moment to ask, "Oh? And what might that be?"

"I get to screw you first."

"Er," Ares began eloquently, the thought never occuring to him. "Well,
alright, but we do it in my Olympian temple, okay?" With a nod from Joxer,
Ares flashed them away from his earthly temple and back to his crib on
Olympus. I really, really need new words for these words I'm using. Sigh.

Anyway, the two men arrived in Ares' temple on Olympus and straight into the
Room of Many Sprained Backs, or for those of you who don't pay attention,
Ares' bedroom, k? Joxer pulled away and eyed the decor of Ares' room. "Very
nice, did you do the decorating all yourself?"

"Huh? Why?"

"Because all that's here is black and red. It looks like someone was let
loose with the paint buckets and was told to 'have fun'," Joxer said,
walking over to the bed to sit his nekkid ass down. Oh he had suck plans for
Ares' ass.

Ares blinked a moment, too far gone with the 'fuck you look sexy, let's
fuck' dust his son had blown, heh I said blown, into his face. Before Ares
could think about what Joxer had actually said, he was yanked by his manly
handle and tossed face first onto the bed. Not really caring how he was
being treated since he was still high as a kite, he moved to his elbows,
humming a tune to himself which sounded peculiarly like 'if I only had a
brain'. Well, he wasn't all there right now, so who could blame him,
although I'm still trying to figure out how he knew about that particular
little ditty in the first place. Shrug.

Smirking a smirk that would make Strife go screaming for the hills if he saw
it, Joxer began to beat his little pal Paulie. Paulie hadn't seen any action
since that one time Joxer had seen Gabrielle bathing in the nude in the
lake. Poor Paulie. Once Joxer deemed himself to be in full fledged boner
hood, he leaned forward. "If you haven't lost all your marbles, could I get
some oil please?"

Ares stopped humming to himself long enough to procure the requested oil for
his bouncy toy. Joxer decided to forego prepping Ares' booty hole since he
figured that one, he'd probably been screwed before in all his 5,000 years
and two, with all the chasing and shit he'd gone through that day, Ares
deserved a wee bit of the owwies.

Slicking his tally whacker up, oh please, like y'all haven't heard it called
*that* before, Joxer knee walked up to Ares and positioned himself to enter
through the back door. Heh. With a deep breath, Joxer let Ares have it, but
good. "Aiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!"

Joxer grinned at Ares yowl of pain, or was he practicing hitting the high
note all of a sudden? Who knew with that man, god, thing. For the next hour,
and lemme tell you, that's a long ass time to be giving it to someone, Joxer
rammed his flagpole into Ares' poor, poor abused passage. Hell, Ares hadn't
seen Joxer's dick at full mast before. Hey, he never asked if Joxer was a
shower or grower. Seems though, he was a grower and oh how he grew. 0.o

Squirting his little buddies into the rippling waves of Ares' body and
subsequently making the War God pass out more then once, Joxer pulled out
and smirked even more when he watched as his little pals oozed out of Ares.
Seemed they were right, revenge was sweet indeed.

8~~~~>

Strife's eyes where huge as he saw in the scrying mirror how big little
Joxer grew. He actually cringed in sympathy for his Uncle at seeing him get
rammed with the light post from Tartarus. Cupid vibrated like a big
vibrating thing when the energy from Ares and Joxer's boot knocking hit him
like a mack truck.

Aphrodite suddenly appeared when she had gotten hit with the energy from the
two men. "Cupie, dear, what in Tartarus was *that*?"

Cupid, still vibrating, looked over to see his mother. But passed out with a
big ass smile on his face before he could answer her. Strife looked down and
frowned at his husband. Sighing heavily to himself, he shrugged his
shoulders before replying, "Looks like Unc and Jox got their grooves on."

"Ah, ahem, yes well *giggle* I think I'll go find Hephy and um, burn this
excess energy off before I succumb like Cupie did. Do make sure to wake him
up in a bit, huh? His feather's always go every which a way when he falls on
them," Aphrodite said before her pink chiffon wearing sparklie ass flashed
out of there.

Strife sighed to himself, wondering how he'd survive the blasting and ass
kicking he'd receive once Ares woke up from the spell/charm/jojo that was
blown onto him. Maybe he'd look into moving to Rome...

End of Day-um, Never Knew You Had All That





Title: Wait 'til You See My...Oh!
Author: Christine
Email: QsMistress23@hotmail.com (I've had this email for 5 yrs, I can always
be contacted here =D)
Series: Fated
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Archive: AJCS (Yo, Carrie, we need an update, woman. =) )
Pairing: Ares/Joxer, Cupid/Strife
Rating: NC17 (oh, yeah, this is hot lovin' alright)
Feedback: Yes, please. It's been a while and the muses threatened to leave
me if I didn't pay them.
Warnings: Does hot, sweaty monkey love count?
Author's Note: Well, shit. I finally wrote something. *looks out window* Ah,
damnit. I see the four horsemen outside. =/
Summary: Everyone's getting it on. Eew. *wipes up keyboard*

Cupid was still passed out, not even Bliss playing 'daddy trampoline' could
wake him up from hi overdose of the 'lurve' vibes... Huh? Of course I know
how to spell. What, are y'all English teachers now? =p

Anyhow, Strife was in the middle of checking out new places to go and names
he could go by when the action in the still playing scrying mirror caught
his attention...

8~~~~~>

Ares woke up to find himself secured to the bed. He was in chains. *Not*
your normal, everyday chains, but *Hepheastian* chains. No, I don't have a
bloody clue where Joxer got them from, but just humor me, k?

So, anyway, Ares was chained to his big ass bed, face down. He slowly
blinked his eyes, wondering what the Tartarus had happened. Last thing he
remembered, his son blew something gold and sparklie into his face. "Joxer?
Where am I? What are you doing here and why the fuck do I feel like my
asshole is going to fall out!?" Ares asked all those damn questions.

Joxer, who had no idea that Ares had been fucked with, grabbed the pot of
oil from the floor. "Dunno, but say hello to my leetle friend," he said
before slathering Paulie up and ramming his Rod of A Thousand 'Dude, what
the *FUCK* is that!?!?!?' into Ares' poor, sore and feeling a might chafed
hole.

"*Aiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!*"

<~~~~~8

Strife threw the mirror across the room; horrified that Joxer once again was
fucking his Uncle like a two dinar hooker with his Super Schlong...Oh, shut
the *bleep, bleep, bleep* up, people. If I wanna call men's dicks something
other than a dick, you either read it or go back to 'Finishing School'.
Dunno why they call it that for. I mean what the hell do they 'finish'
teaching you anyway? That it's okay to suck but not to swallow?

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah! Ahem!

Strife got up from his perch on his bed, packing his shit for the great move
and went to go check on his spouse. Poor Cupid, that energy rush before had
bitch slapped him across the face like Pookie Bear the Pimp Daddy wondering
'Where my bitches!?'

Cupid was feeling better after a lie down from the last boost he got. He was
still a tad out of it, but not enough for him to like be drooling on himself
or anything. Strife sighed and went to wake his husband up. "Cupe, you
alright?"

"*Yawn*, yeah I'm doing better. Although I feel like I got ran over by an
elephant. I wonder who those people were to give me such a blast. I mean,
normally, most mortals are such damn prudes I'm lucky to feel a tingle."

"Er, that would be Jox and Unc. I don't think Unc will be able to walk, sit
or move for the next century or three though," Strife said as he sat down on
the bed next to Cupid. I know I'm stating the frigging obvious here, you
think you can write better? No? Then shush.

Cupid sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before suddenly turning to
stare at Strife. "*Dad's* the one getting his colon cleansed?! Whoa." Eh, so
he had a Keanu moment. Who wouldn't.

"Yup. That dust stuff you blew at him totally made him go out of his mind.
Which is why I'm packing my shit and getting the Tartarus out of Dodge
before Jox lets him loose and he comes after me," Strife said as he got up
from the bed and began heading for the door.

Cupid got up and followed him. "What do you mean? Why would dad blast you
for this? I'm the one who fried his brain like an omelete."

"Unc usually blasts anything within distance and I'm normally the one who
gets caught in the middle. Mom just rolls her eyes and takes it. Sometimes I
think she actually enjoys it," Strife replied.

Cupid shut the door on Strife when he went to open it. "Huh. Well, seeing as
you're on your way out, wanna roll in the hay first?"

"Uh, I thought you hated me. Not that I wouldn't want to fuck you 'til you
couldn't remember your own name, but still."

Cupid pressed his muscular, tanned, gorgeous...*drool*...body up against
Strife. "I don't hate you. I was just pissed at being forced to marry anyone
without my consent. But I saw you when that towel dropped and well, let's
say it definitely wouldn't be a hardship. Besides, I kinda like you. I was
just too shy and wound up about 'She-who must-not-be-named' to get with
you."

Now what? Yeah, so I stole a line from Harry Potter and just changed one
word. Whatcha gonna do about it? Call me names? Not read this? Sniff, my
heart bleeds for you, really it does. =p

Anyway, Cupid grabbed hold of Strife's arm and dragged him toward the bed.
For some odd reason, the bed looked like a big ass heart. Not the ripped
outta someone's chest type, but those cheasy ones you'd find in a Las Vegas
honeymoon suite. Like I'd get turned on by a heart shaped bed. Oh, please,
toss me onto that and fuck me 'til my brains oozed outta my head. I'm a
cheap slut dontcha know, pfft, yeah right. But I suppose since Cupid's a
Love God and such, it made perfect sense. Shrug.

But I digress.

Having dragged Strife over to the candy box bed, Cupid tossed Strife down.
Strife bounced a few times and before Cupid could land bodily on his
husband, Strife quickly rolled out of the way. Cupid blinked his eyes as his
love pillow (TM) moved. Before he could roll over to do wicked, nasty things
to his love muffin, he found himself butt nekkid and oiled up. Opening his
mouth to let loose a few curses, he let out a squeak instead as he was
suddenly filled.

Strife smirked evilly at his husband's squeak; about to enjoy himself
immensely. He did have a wee bit of revenge to exact on his husband for the
shitty way he had treated Strife. Before Cupid could adjust to the sudden
fullness and stretching, he gave his wings one hard ass flap as Strife stuck
it to him repeatedly. Strife even had to add more oil to his cock since he
was thrusting so fast. He didn't need to set Cupid's ass on fire, at least
not in a non sexy way which would consist of chains, pulleys, pvc latex and
some dude named Tiny cracking his whip and calling Cupid his horsey bitch.

Ahem, but I digress. Well, I have to get away from that stray thought before
y'all wonder how I know about bondage.

*Kicks chains underneath her bed*

Heh. Yeah.

Anyway, like I was saying. All one could hear coming from Cupid's bedroom
were moans, cries, squelching noises (I think someone used too much oil. =/
) and shouts of 'Who's your daddy?'

8~~~~~>

When we last left our hot, sexy, studly War God, he was getting his ass
fucked...hard. Yes, well, Joxer finished by now so don't expect them to
still be at it, you pervs.

Anywho, Ares, who'd passed out after crying for his momma, came to to find
himself unchained and extremely sore. He didn't think he'd be able to sit
right or walk without looking like he was straddling a light post for about
two weeks. With or without Godly healing and what have you.

He turned his head and promptly got a nose between his eyes. Pulling his
head back, since he wasn't fawned at gazing at nose hair, he opened his eyes
wide in shock. He'd thought that he'd been seeing things when he had come
out of the dust's effects and found Joxer getting ready to use him as a
sperm recepticle. Boy, wasn't *he* surprised, pfft, yeah sure. Anyway, he'd
never known that not only did Joxer pack a baseball bat in his shorts but he
was also very agressive in bed. His ass was proof of both. Tartarus, he
didn't know if he wanted to go back to being a raging top after he had
Joxer.

Heh, once you go Joxer, you never go back.

And how!

=D

Not wanting to get ram-rodded again, Ares quietly got out of bed and tried
to ease his way out the door. Unfortunately for him, (shhh!), he tripped
over Joxer's *giggle, snort* armor. Joxer bolted into a sitting position, a
hand clutched to his chest while he tried to catch his breath. "What the
Tartarus?" he squeaked. Looking around, he finally spotted Ares sprawled out
inelegantly on the cold marble floor. With a wicked gleam in his eye, Joxer
slithered down off the bed and didn't so much crawl as prowled over to Ares.

Ares, still a bit fuzzy from smacking his thick skull against the marble,
whimpered at the hungry and predatory loook on Joxer's face. "Be gentle,"
Ares whispered as he oiled himself up with enough oil to grease a fleet of
battleships for centuries to come.

Before we finished this part, I'l like to mention here that..., hey! What
the...mmrph, mmmm, gurgle...

"Help me please!"

"Oh, Aaaaaaarrrrreeeeessss?"

"Eeep! Please for the love of Zeus, someone rescue me from this maniac!"

"Come here, my lovey. Your ass is mine."

"Aiyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

End of Wait 'til You See My...Oh!



Title: Say *WHAT*!?!?
Author: Christine
Email: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Series: Fated
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Archive: AJCS
Pairing: A/J, C/S
Rating: NC17 (Sorta)
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is about a year's worth of socks and
drawers.
Feedback: *gets down on knees* Please? The damn muses keep threatening me.
Warnings: Er...
Author's Note: I am officially nuts. *nods*
Summary: What'd Ares ever do to deserve this? Oh, that's right. Heh.

When we last left our heroes, both Cupid and Ares were getting their asses
done good. I mean poor, poor Ares. He never knew what hit him. But then
again if he hadn't been slower than molasses in winter and thought Cupid had
to marry Strife, he wouldn't have found himself drugged on happy dust,
making a fool of himself and getting doinked by Joxer.

As we take a closer look at these two couples, we're going to see what came
of them. It's been about three months.

=D

"*WHAT!?!?*" Ares yelled which shook the rafters in his temple on Olympus.

"You heard me, Ares," Asclepius replied, sighing as if a great burden had
been put upon him. Of course dealing with Ares always left one running for a
fifth of Jack and a joint. Um, yeah, heh.

"But, but...I can't be," Ares cried, slumping down in his chair. Oh he was
*so* gonna kill a certain skinny ass man. "Time for me to visit my
daughter." With that said, Ares disappeared in an angry shower of sparks.

@>*~

Cupid hummed to himself as he cleaned and sharpened his arrows. He had a few
jobs he needed to get done before the Summer Solstice, which coincidentally
was his busiest time. You know, people to get together from cute puppy love
to 'Stop, no names. Just drop your drawers and grab your ankles.'

Strife was still sleeping, he's had a busy few weeks with his Uncle. There
were times he'd thought the War God had finally lost his damn mind. One
second he'd be laughing his ass off and the next he'd be close to tears.
Although, he would mostly just blast whatever happened to be near by. Namely
Strife and Discord. Strife still had a sore spot on the back of his head
from hitting his Uncle's temple wall after the last foul mood Ares had been
in.

It still made Strife flinch whenever he heard laughter and 'bzzting' noises.

Poor dear.

@>*~

Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer continued to make their way to Xena's home town in
Amphipolis. They had another day or so of travel left 'til they'd reach
their destination. Xena kept staring thoughtfully at the back of Joxer's
head. Since that day around three months ago when Ares had arrived before
them and began harassing Joxer, she never did find out exactly what had
transpired until about a week after the incident when she and Gabrielle had
stopped in Thrace to find Joxer grinning like a loon and smirking everytime
someone had mentioned Ares in passing. She tried asking him what happened,
but he'd just sigh, smile and walk off whistling a merry tune to himself.

Xena was sure something happened and from the way Joxer had been acting, it
had to have been really good too.

"I think here would be a good place to stop for the night," Xena said
suddenly, pulling Argo's reins to slow her horse down. Her two companions
mumbled their affirmation at this and the three of them began to set up camp
for the night. An hour later, after they'd hunted and killed a rabbit and
had it cooking over the fire, Xena felt a presence seconds before her father
showed up. Before she could jump up with her sword in hand, and she was
FAST, Ares let out a bellow.

"*You!*" Ares all but shrieked, pointing an accusitory finger at Joxer.
"This is all *your* fault!"

Joxer blinked at Ares and gulped fearfully. What'd he do? It'd be *three*
months, damnit.

Xena looked over to see Joxer cowering behind Argo and turned back to Ares.
"What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, what'd Joxer do? He's been with us these past few months," Gabrielle
said. "Unfortunately," she mumbled under her breath.

Ares glared at his daughter a moment but said nothing. He didn't want his
daughter or her bitch to know his business, but he definitely had some pain
to cause Joxer. "This is between me and *him*," he snarled, pointing a
finger at Joxer once more.

Joxer eeped and tried to make himself smaller, but to no avail. Before
either woman could step forward to protect their friend, Ares flashed out in
a cascade of red sparks, taking Joxer with him.

"Ares! You bring Joxer back!" Xena yelled into the sky, but it did no good,
Ares was long gone.

Gabrielle walked over to stand beside Xena. "You think he'll be okay?"

"I don't know. I hope so." Xena sighed. It took a bit for the two women to
settle down for the night, but they finally fell into a fitful sleep, each
hoping Joxer would be okay even if at time he was an annoying pain in the
ass...

Huh? Oh, come on now. Don't tell me Joxer never was cause if you'd ever seen
an episode, you'd know at most times he was barely tolerated so lemme write
this the way *I* want to. What? You think you can do better? Well let's see
it than. No? Shush then. =p

@>*~

Ares and Joxer reappeared in Ares' temple on Olympus, but *not* in his
bedroom this time, thank you very much.

Joxer was close to wetting himself at the glare Ares was sending him, but
held his ground to say, "Okay, we're here. What'd I do?"

Ares growled a moment before saying, "You knocked me up!"

"Oh, is that all?" Joxer said at first before the full meaning hit him
between the eyes like Gabrielle on the rag. "You're *pregnant*!?" he
squeaked. At Ares' angry nod, Joxer keeled over like a sack of potatoes.
Ares rubbed his temple and sighed. With a thought, Ares materialized a
pillow underneath Joxer's head and stood next to the prone man with hands on
his hips, waiting for the mortal to snap out of it.

A few minutes later Joxer slowly opened his eyes and yawned. "Xena, you'd
never believe the dream I just had. Oh, heh," he said when he caught sight
of Ares tapping his foot and looking scowly as usual. "Uh, hi, Ares," he
said, wiggling his fingers at the War God.

"Don't 'hi' me, mortal. We still have this problem we need to deal with,"
Ares stated, materializing his butt into his cool throne and sat sideways
with one leg tossed over the arm. *Drool* Damn but he's a sexy biatch.

Ahem! Yes. Anyways...

Joxer got up off the floor and clanked over to Ares. "So, you're pregnant,
with my child and you want me to do what?"

Ares sighed. "I don't know. I"m not usually the one pregnant in a
relationship."

"We're in a relationship?" Joxer frowned. Since when? "Uh, listen, er, Ares.
Not that it wouldn't like be cool and all to be with a God, but we were only
together for a week and we barely left your bedroom. You want us to date or
something?"

Ares buffed his nails on his leather vest, feigning nonchalance. "Something
like that."

Joxer shrugged, then moved closer to Ares, hovering over the War God.
"Okay."

Ares shrunk back a smidge on his throne as Joxer got closer. "Good. Eep!" he
squeaked out inelegently as Joxer grabbed double handfulls of his vest and
tugged him out of his throne. Before Ares could protest or get a fireball
formed, Joxer dragged Ares down to the marble floor. Joxer ripped open Ares'
vest, exposing the God's chest and went to work on the War God's pants, just
about ripping them off the now semi-naked God. Well, he wasn't like totally
naked. His vest was still on but open wide and his boots were still on.

Mmm, mental piccies. *drools onto keyboard*

=D

Joxer opened his own pants enough to release his cock (dear god but he was
big 0.o) and flipped Ares onto his stomach. Ares barely managed to grease
himself up in time before Joxer let him have it.

And how!

=DD

Ares squealed at the rough intrusion, wondering how in Tartarus he'd gotten
himself on the receiving end of Joxer's 'affections' AGAIN! Especially when
he'd sworn he would be the one to top from now on. 'Must be my hormones,' he
thought before a particularly viscious thrust from Joxer has him singing
soprano, or would have if he's been singing.

Yeah, yeah. I suck donkey dick at descriptions. 'Tis why no one's paying me
for this. *cries*

Anyhow, Joxer kept his punishing strokes up until he came and sorta
collapsed onto Ares. Joxer didn't weigh much so neither were really worried
about squishing the baby. Besides, the baby was still no bigger than a
finger so it wouldn't have bothered it one way or another. Ares just laid
there sighing to himself. 'What happened? I grabbed Joxer to blast him to
Tartarus and then make him take responsibility for this mess. And what
happens instead? I'mdragged to the cold, hard floor and get fucked up the
ass by Joxer's huge dick, which somehow is bigger than mine and doesn't that
hit my ego hard, but he's also got better stamina than even Zeus himself.'
Ares brought a hand to his face. 'I'm just glad I'm a God and can't die,' he
thought.

About five minutes later, Ares whimpered and prayed to whoever Gods pray to,
to let him survive the night.

"Oh, Aaaaaarrrrrreeeessss?"

"No, please. I, uh, have a headache."

Joxer crawled closer to Ares and straddled his ass. "I have just the cure
you need," Joxer replied, grinding his cock against Ares' ass. Ares' poor
abused cock didn't so much as twitch. Not that Ares didn't find Joxer cute
in a goofy sort of way, but that last fuck kinda took the wind out of his
sails. Same thing happened last time. He'd been doinked so much that his
dick sorta gave up and just hung there like a deflated balloon.

Poor Ares.

=D

@>*~

Cupid was on his way to his and Strife's room when he got hit with a strong
burst of energy. 'Zeus, dad's with Joxer again,' he thought, shaking off the
effects of his father's joining. He'd learned his lesson earlier when he had
gone out like a light the first time it happened. He just hoped his father
lived to tell the tale since surprisingly, Joxer was hung like an elephant
and could go on and on for hours on end.

One could only hope and pray to be so lucky. *sigh*

Anyway, Cupid quickly made his way to the bedroom and found his hubby still
sleeping. Cupid mentally felt for his son's power signature and found him
playing in his room. Rubbing his hands in glee, he flashed himself butt
nekkid and tiptoed over to Strife. Strife was sleeping on his stomach,
pillow clenched to his head. Cupid moved slowly to the foot of the bed and
took flight. He flew the few inches to his husband and hovered a moment over
Strife's prone form. With a quiet giggle to himself, he stopped flapping his
wings. But instead of landing on Strife's back, he got a face full of pillow
as Strife rolled out of the way and rolled onto a startled Cupid. Leaning
down, Strife whispered into Cupid's ear, "Nice try, feathers, but living
with Unc has taught me to always keep one eye open to his surroundings."

Cupid sighed. It just wasn't fair. Since he and Strife had started boinking
like crazed weasels, Strife had never bottomed. He didn't really mind it so
much, but Strife tended to get a wee bit overzealouns once inside Cupid's
tight, hot, smooth *drool* body.

Oh, to be a fly on their wall. *sighpantpantsigh*

Oiling Cupid up with a thought, Strife stuck it to his husband. Ah, how he
loved the sound of his hubby gasping. He enjoyed the squirming and bucking
too. Heh, who wouldn't. Strife kept at it 'til he came, filling his husband
with his, I so wanna call it man juice, but I can already hear the 'eews'
from y'all, come. Cupid let his own semen loose at the feel of his hubby's
release.

As the two came back to their senses, Cupid glanced at his hubby. "You know,
it's no fun when you know what I'm trying to do," he said with a pout.

"Like I said, living with Unc all these centuries, it was either that or
take a fireball upside the head. He loved using me for target practice."
Strife replied, lost in the memory. Ah, good times all around. Kinda. Sorta.
Maybe. I dunno, though I never said Strife wasn't a few sandwiches short of
a full picnic.

=D

"Uh, huh. Anyway, I think Joxer's here again."

Strife's eyes widened. "Oh?"

"Yeah. I felt the same burst of energy I had when they first got together.
Dunno why he's back thought," Cupid said, stretching his wings out as he
yawned.

"Me either. Unc couldn't wait to drop Jox off last time and don't tell him I
told you, but Unc was sitting on cushions for a week and walking funny.
Seems Jox is hung like a horse," Strife said.

Cupid giggled, he couldn't help it, even though the thought of his dad doing
the wild thing gave him the hebbe jebbes. I mean, eew. "So why's he letting
Joxer do the sticking? Ain't dad like a raging top?"

Strife shrugged. "No idea. Why don't you go ask him." At Cupid's wide eyes
and vigorous head shaking, Strife laughed his ass off. Once his snark attack
ended, the two Gods settled down for a nap. Well, with Bliss in his room
wide awake himself, they had to get some sleep when they could. Yeah cause
kids have this radar of knowing when the parents are 'AHEM' busy or trying
to sleep. Nothing like hearing 'Mooooooooommmmmmmmyyyyyy!!!' right when
you're about to get your groove on. =(

@>*~

Somehow, Ares and Joxer finally made it to Ares' bed. Dunno how, but they
did. Huh? Do I look like I know anything? If I did I wouldn't be working in
a liquor store for minimum wage. Well, okay, I do know shit, but I still
have to work there to pay for school. *cries* My life sucks in a non sexy
way. *sigh*

Anyway, enough about my pathetic life.

Ares, who hurt all over, sat up gingerly in his big ass bed. He turned his
head to glare down at the sleeping mortal in his bed. Once again he was
doinked to within an inch of his life. Wincing at the soreness to his whole
body, he inched his way off the bed. Or tried to at least, but a quick thin
hand shot out and grabbed his arm. "Where do you think you're going, hot
stuff?"

"Listen here, mortal. I'm pregnant and us pregnant people occassionally need
to piss so if you'd kindly remove your hand. I can go about my business,"
Ares growled, yanking his arm from out of Joxer's grasp. He was pregnant,
moody and he felt like he'd explode if he didn't pee *now*.

Joxer blinked a few times, but didn't push the matter as he watched the
other father of his baby head to the chamber pot to piss. Heh, now I
understand where the phrase 'don't have a pot to piss in' came from. =D

Anyway, once Ares finished tinkling, he suddenly wanted to cry. Why? Cause
Joxer picked that moment to walk over to Ares and stand behind him. He than
brought his hands to Ares' hips and pulled Ares to him to thrust his,
surprise surprise, interested cock against Ares' ass. "For Gods' sake,
Joxer, any more tonight and I won't be able to use the chamber pot for
anything but pissing."

Joxer sighed. Well, maybe this once he'd let Ares recuperate longer then an
hour. He was still a bit tired himself. Placing a kiss to Ares' neck, Joxer
let go and moved back to the bed. Ares' let out a breath he hadn't realized
he'd been holding and thanked the Fates. If they kept his ass from getting
boinked for the next few hours, he'd never again call them 'tapestry weaving
loonies', well not to their faces anyway.

And so, we leave our gods, mortals and other things for a bit. Oh don't get
your panties in a twist. More of this story will be coming soon. Now I'm off
to go do something more productive. Like rewatching my Smallville DVDs and
playing computer games.

Hey! What the...!

"Hi!" Waves. "I just want to state for the record that if someone doesn't
write me doing Joxer's ass this much, I'll make sure to send your asses
straight to Tartarus! Erk!"

"Don't mind Ares, folks. He's just pregnant."

"Fuck off, Joxer!"

"See?"

End of Say *WHAT*!?!?



tbc

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