AresJoxerCupidStrife - Alex

Title: Forever
Author: Alex
Fandom: Xena W:P
Pairing: C/S, A/J, D/P
Rating: PG-13
Author Notes: Okay this is a response to the Songfic Challenge given by HB. Never did a songfic challenge before, but being that 'Who Wants To Live Forever' is one of my favourite songs, well I had to give it a shot.
Warnings: Some people may feel a little squicky about how a character handles certain things in this fic. While I do not condone the action, I am no one's moral True North, I understand why someone may act that way. Anyway, it's fiction so please can no bible-thumpers flame me, believe you me I have heard it all okay :-)
Feedback: Sure, on or off the list, I am a junkie and feedback is my drug of choice:-)
MAY GOD BLESS QUEEN, AND MAY YOU REST IN PEACE FREDDY.
Dedicated to: My cuz K, all men are not scum, please remember that.

There's no chance for us,
It's all decided for us,
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us.

Nooo-ooooo. Looking over and seeing his lover in the midst of a terrible dream, Strife sends a quick curse aimed at Morpheus for disturbing his lover's rest and goes to gather the still thrashing Cupid in his arms.Hefting the larger body onto his lap, he plants a soft kiss on Cupid's damp brow and slowly rocks his lover calm by softly humming to him.

The still sleeping Cupid burrows into Strife's chest, hiccuping gently.

A soft flash of light alerts him to the fact that they are no longer alone.

Rubbing his eyes, "What's wrong with daddy, daddy Strife?"Patting the empty space on the side of him, Strife smiles at the sleepy child. "Nothing, just ole Morphy playing around with dad, nothing for you to worry about."

Giving Strife a dubious look, Bliss takes another look at his sleeping father still cuddled in Daddy Strife's arms, shrugs, places his finger in his mouth and lays down and promptly falls back asleep.

Maneuvering carefully, Strife places Cupid gently on the bed. Stopping once to hold his breath as Cupid's face scrounges up, but quickly soothes itself back out.

but touch my tears with your lips

Placing a quick peck on his lover's lips and another on his extended abdomen, Strife smiles gently at the smile that stretches across his lover's face after the action.

//Even in sleep he can tell when I touch him.//

Moving over to the other side of the bed to kiss Bliss on the forehead and straighten the sheets over his husband and child, Strife gives both of them a sad wistful look before fading out.Suddenly Cupid's eyes open, and with a frightened look, he quickly glances around. Turning on his side and only seeing his son, he quickly kisses Bliss on the forehead and hears him mention something like 'daddy stwife' before he sends out his search and tries to find his husband through they're connection.

There's no time for us,
There's no place for us,
What is this thing that builds our dreams, yet slips away from us.

Not finding Strife, Cupid bows over in pain and sends out a silent signal for his mother.

Arriving in sparkle of pink roses Aphrodite who was just waking up for the day opens her mouth to start to chastise whoever it was for bothering her so early in the morning.

Seeing only her baby, bowed over in pain, with a worried frown on her face, "Cupie baby?" rushing to his side, "What's the matter?"Lifting up his eyes to his mother's, Aphrodite sucks in a deep breath at the look of pure despair that is on her baby's face.

Gathering her baby in her arms, "What's the matter baby?"

"Strife."

Rocking Cupid to and fro, "I know baby, I know, but you have to let it go." Wincing at how hard and callous her words sounded.

"Remember, Ascepliceus, said that this was not good for the baby, that you have to be strong for the baby."

Hating that she had to use her unborn grandchild as a bargaining tool against her son's right to grieve for the lover that he lost twice, but enflamed by a mother's devotion to use whatever is necessary to ensure that she didn't loose her son as well.

With a tear-stained face looking up at her with such utter agony and despair that it broke her heart all over again. "But he was here, I felt him."

Who dares to love forever,
When love must die.

Taking a look over and noticing that Bliss was also in the room, but thankfully still asleep. "I know baby, you will always feel Strife, because you loved him so....."

Shaking his head vehemently, "No mom, he was here, I know that he was here, I felt him." Touching his lips softly, "He kissed me."

Feeling the waves of agony rolling of her son so strong that she felt literally awashed in it. "I know, baby, but you know that it was not really him, he's dead baby." Taking his head in her hands gently so she could look in his eyes. "You have to let him go baby."

She holds firm as Cupid violently shakes his head no. "Yes you have to," with a sob in her voice, "You have to, for all of our sakes."

Placing a gentle kiss on her baby's head that makes him fall straight to sleep, she reaches out to Morpheus.

** Yes, Aphrodite **
** You make sure that my baby has only pleasant dreams or else **
Smirking to himself ** Or else what? **

Not quite managing to hide the smirk that she is aware that the other god can sense, ** Or else, let's see how you like a visit from Deimos and Phobos.**

She can feel the other gods nervousness, ** Let's just say, Terror and Pain have missed you **

She is slightly startled as twin dark blue flashes suddenly enter the room.

Looking around Deimos spots his mother, walking over to her he goes to call out a greeting but is interrupted by his mother quickly signaling to him to be quiet.

Scanning the room he realizes that he is in Cupid's bedroom. Smiling in understanding he walks over and gives his mother a hug.

"Wha's up mom?"

Arching her eyebrow at him, "What do you mean?"

Smiling at his mother's failing look of innocence, "Ah, nothing, just that Phobos here," nodding in Phobos direction who gives his aunt a quick wave in hello.

"Well Phobos here, just got a swell of energy, and that only could come from either a very large nation or a god in fear. And seeing that Aunt Eris is out of commission," taking a quick glance at his brother still lying asleep in bed and at his other brother and lover who got pale at the mention of his mother's name and the reason being her being out of commission. That only left you threatening another god with us."

Smiling at her son and nephew, "Well it was nothing, I just threatened Morpheus that if he didn't play nice with Cupid, that the two of you would be visiting him."

Taking a quick glance at Cupid and smiling at the twin looks of glee that encompassed the two gods face, Aphrodite quickly transported all three of them into her temple.

Who wants to live forever,
Who dares to love forever,

Waiting until he could not feel any other God's presence. "Strife."After awhile a little orb of light enters the room. "Yes Cupie."Hiccuping slightly, "I don't care what anyone says, I know that you were here."

He feels ghostly hands caress his face, "I'll always be here baby, for you, the baby and Bliss."

Who dares to love forever,
When love must die

Crying softly, "Why Strife, why did you have to leave me again."Having trouble talking past the big dry ball that suddenly formed in his throat from his lover's pained filled words, "I didn't want to baby, you know…."

"You promised that you would never leave me again."

"I know baby, I know, but I tried….."

Lifting up his face filled with more pain agony and distress that any being should have to be in, Strife heart is throbbing so much that he wished that he was really into oblivion so that he could avoid this gapping wound that would not heal but fester.

"Yyyyou pr-promise me Str-Strife, y-y-you p-pr-promiseddd….."

"I'm sorry, baby so sorry." Strife suddenly curses at the Fates that only allowed him to touch and hold his baby when he was asleep. Never awake.

Who wants to live forever,

"Why didn't you take me with you."

This is said so softly, that at first Strife doesn't hear what Cupid is saying. When he finally figures it out, anger overwhelms his grief, to quickly be replaced once again by sadness.

Wishing for the thousandth time that he could hold his baby, "Don't say that Cupie, don't you ever say that."

"I can't go on…. not without you… never without you."

"You have to. For Bliss and the baby's sake."

"But without you, I am not whole, I am an empty carcass of a shell, I hate what I am doing to my family, and especially to Bliss. If it wasn't for the fact that I am carrying our children I know that I would have followed you by now."

Not liking the thoughts coming from his lover, the orb starts to glow brighter, "Don't say that baby, nevah think that. You have so much to live ….."

"Not if you're not here."

"But I'll always be here, I……"

"Do you know what it is to yearn for something so much that it hurts inside. It twists you up and wrings you dry but you can't stop. Do you know what it is to have to remind yourself every minute of every day to move, smile, eat and live. Do you have any idea of the pain that gnaws at you until all you feel is nothing."

"That's it baby, all I feel is nothing, and when I don't feel nothing, then there is just pain. At least mortals get to die and that is that, I have to look forward to an eternity with nothing but pain and nothingness, is that what you wish for me?"

Hearing such bleak words out of his usually practical and happy lover leaves Strife stunned. "No, baby, never, not for you."

"So then don't tell me that I have to live on without you."

Growling in frustration Strife sees that Apollo's chariot has already lightened up the sky. "I have to go now baby, but I'll be back, I promise you."

With a bitter smile Cupid opens his eyes. "No, Strife, I promise you."

And we can have forever,
And we can love forever,
Forever is our today,

Knowing what he has to do, and coming to terms with the fact that once he starts on this path that there is no turning back Cupid flashes himself out of bed and into his workroom.

Checking on the progress of his potion, he looks it over. //Almost finished, good.//

Taking the necessary amount out, he gives his workroom a last wistful look. Steeling up his face he makes his rounds.

*************** *************** ************** ************** ***********

Who wants to live forever,
Who dares to love forever,

As the slow tears fall down his cheeks Cupid realizes that this was harder than he thought. Saying goodbye to his family without them actually knowing was going to be gut wrenching. Even though he had a strong suspicion that Joxer and his dad knew what he was about to do. Ares in an uncommon show of affection hugged him and whispered, "Be happy my golden baby boy."

Joxer had just started crying from the minute he reached and had actually hugged him so hard that it actually hurt. Looking over at his father, Joxer followed the gaze.

"I'll take care of him, and everyone else."

Nodding through the tears, that were blinding him he is again surprised by his father hugging him again and sniffing at him as though he was trying to implant his smell into his senses.

"I don't agree," Ares began and takes a quick look at Joxer, "but I understand."

With that he hugs Cupid again, and Cupid is wrenched out of Ares arms by Joxer who is hugging him and crying all over him. "Tell, him I love him, and that I miss him, and please be happy."

With that Joxer pulls Cupid out of his arms, gives him a sound kiss and flashes out as he starts to cry in earnest.

"Take care of mom will you, she'll need all the help that she can get… " Cupid's voice catches, I can't go to her or she'll knowwhat I am planning on doing and try to stop me. She may not understand now, but she will in time. Please watch out for Bliss and my babies for me, let, let them know that their daddy loved them more than anything in this world but I couldn't stay and give them only a shell of me, that they deserved more."

Nodding to his son Ares moves in to hug him once more and is stunned that while hugging his son he feels three powerful forces enter his body.

Looking at his baby's wide sad eyes, he is speechless as all that Cupid does is bend down and kiss Ares's now distended stomach. Looking back up at his father.

"Please take care of them for me." And through a haze of tears, Cupid flashes out.

****************** ***************** ******************** **************

Going to Harmonia was hard, but he knew of all of his siblings that she would understand. Taking his hands in hers Harmonia leads him to the table in her house in Hades.

Cupping her older brother's face, "Me less than anyone can tell you what to do." Smiling ruefully at him and sweeping her house with her hands.

"Look at me, I followed my lover to Hades and I would follow him beyond." Reaching up and placing a kiss on his lips. "Be happy."Nodding through the tears, "I will."

Harmonia rises him up to hug him good-bye. Looking down she is startled by Cupid's lack of girth. Worriedly, "Cupie……"

Seeing as she was looking at his flat stomach, "Don't worry Dad."

Raising her eyebrows. "Dad?"

"Yep."

Laughing out loud, "Now that is something I have to see, Dad and a house of six toddlers, and Bliss, guess I'll be called in for babysitting duty."

Suddenly the seriousness of the situation hits her. Cupid will never get to watch his children grow, or hold them, or dry their tears, or see them smile at him or get to hear them say 'I Love You Daddy'.

Reaching out and hugging him tightly, "I'm so sorry Cupie, what you are giving up." Looking Cupid square in the eyes. "Are you sure?"Cupid takes a deep breath. "Could you live without your mate for the rest of eternity, no matter how much loved ones are around?"

Softly, "No." Understanding his dilemma Harmonia starts to cry some more. "I'm so sorry Cupie, but don't worry, we'll take good care of them."

Shaking his head, "I know, it's the only reason that I can go through with this, knowing that I leave them with people who will love them almost as much as I will."

Starting to fade out, "Bye Moni."

To the silent room, "Bye Cupie, be happy." And with that Harmonia crumbles to the floor where she lies crying until her husband finds her and carries his sobbing wife to bed.

************* *************** ***************** ***************** ********

Cupid flashed into Deimos temple knowing that if Deimos was there, that Phobos would be there as well.

Seeing his younger brother laying in each other's arms oblivious to the whole world except each other brings a quick shaft of pain to his chest.

Suddenly sensing another's presence Phobos lifts his head up off of Deimos lap. When he notices who it is he straightens up quickly.

"Cupid, didn't know that you were there."

Deimos turns his head, the frown on his face from when Phobos moved off his lap is quickly replaced by a look of guilt. "Sorry Cupid, didn't sense you."

With a wave of his hand, "That's okay guys."

This was one thing Cupid realized that he was not going to miss, the looks of guilt and shame that came over his family when he was near and they were happy in love. It was as though they believed that they should not be happy in his presence, that somehow it offended him.Laughing at his little brothers. "Guys, it's okay. I am still the God of Love you know. And it is alright that you be in love, in fact it makes me happy."

Still shooting each other dubious looks, Deimos and Phobos move away from each other. They heard what their brother said, but just to be on the safe side and not cause him any pain by accidentally touching each other as was their habit when one was near they moved apart.

Putting a smile on his face. "So what brings you here Cupid." With a worried frown on his face, "Everything's okay right?"Looking at the face that except for it's blondeness was so much like Strife's Cupid takes a deep breath and turns to look at Phobos. "No everything is fine, I just wanted to see my two bros, that's all."

"You're going to him."

It was said quietly and succinctly. Cupid didn't even try to deny it.

"Yes, I am."

"When?"

"As soon as I say goodbye to Bliss."

Nodding his head in understanding, the normally silent Phobos gives Cupid a sad smile, filled with understanding and acceptance.

Looking wildly from Cupid to Phobos, "Where is Cupid going?" Getting no answer from either one of them, Deimos moves to stand closer to his husband.

"Who is Cupid going to Phy?" At the intense look that his husband gives him, comprehension dawns.

A quick shout of denial is ripped from Pain's throat. "I can't lose you to." Running over he gathers Cupid in his arms. Shaking his head against his chest, "No, nononononono."

Walking over and taking his distraught lover out of Cupid's arms. "He has to De, could you stay here without me?"

"Never, I'd create a Hind for the blood myself."

"Then think about how Cupid must feel."

Looking at Cupid and taking the sad look on his brothers' face. "I don't agree, but I understand."

Looking gratefully at Phobos, "Thank you," walking over to the pair he gently kisses each on of them.

"Be happy for me, please."Before Cupid flashes out, he sees both of his brothers clasped to one another in pain through a haze of tears.

*************** ************** **************** *************** **********

Cupid returns to his temple to find his mother waiting there for him.

"Are you okay baby?"

Walking over Cupid takes in the being that is his mother. She is beautiful, spoiled and vain. But she is also loyal and loves with all her being, in other words, perfect.

Smiling at her, "No mom, everything is okay."

Walking over and giving her baby a hug. "Well, then if that is all settled, gotta go, Hephy's thinking of taking a break and I know just what I'd like for him to do during it."

Smiling at the lewd look that his mother has at the mention of her husband, Cupid takes in another look and tries to soak up every detail of his mother.

With a worried frown on her face, "Baby, you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah mom, everything fine."

Smiling at him. "Well then, if everything's okay, I'll see you later."

Walking over to him Aphrodite kisses him on the cheek. "Be happy baby." And with a sad smile on her face, Aphrodite flashes out.

Smiling wistfully at his departing mom, Cupid takes a deep unneeded breath and goes to face his baby.

*********** ************* **************** ************* *****************

Standing at the doorway Cupid watches as Bliss studies the pile of blocks in front of him intently. Frowning slightly, Bliss tilts his head to the side and proceeds to move a block and place it on the left. Tilting his head again he studies the blocks again.

Pursing his lips, he shakes his head and moves the block back to it original position.

// Oh god Strife, this is hard, how can I do this to him. He has already lost a mother and a father and now I am going to take away his only remaining parent. He is so young, how can I do this, how can I tear him apart like that, how much more can he loose.//

"I understand daddy."

Looking up quickly from his dazed state, Cupid realizes that Bliss is now standing in front of him with a knowing look on his face.

"You want to be with Daddy Strife."

Cupid mutely nods.

"I understand Daddy."

Cupid looks at his baby, who for all intensive purposes is giving him his blessing to leave. Bending down until he is almost eye level with his son.

"But do you know what it means."

Shaking his head yes. "It means you won't cry silently anymore," touching his father's heart, "and you won't be sad."

Smiling at his child, unaware that he is crying. "But that means that I have to leave you."

Bliss gives his father a patient look. "Daddy, you left me long ago."

Shaking his head in denial, "Noo--"

Cupid is stopped by Bliss putting his finger against his lips silencing him. "You may have been here," Bliss opens his arms wide to encompass the space around them. "But you were gone here," he points to Cupid's head, "and here," pointing to Cupid's heart.

Swallowing, "I'm so sorry, baby, I'm so sorry if I hurt you."

Shaking his head. "You didn't hurt me daddy, the only one that hurts is you, and Daddy Strife, but you're gonna make it all better, don't worry about me, I have granma, granpa, Joxer, uncle Deimos, uncle Phobos, aunt Harmoni and everyone else. Only you and Daddy Strife, you don't have anyone, you both deserve someone."

Taking a look at his son, Cupid suddenly sees the God he will become.With lips trembling and tears threatening to spill at any minute Bliss hugs his father. "Go be happy Daddy, make Daddy Strife happy, he's waiting for you."

Moving Bliss out of his arms, "How do you…."

Bliss once again rests his finger on his fathers lips and kisses him softly, "He was always waiting for you, that's why he came every night, it's just that, you didn't realize it."

Giving his father a quick hug he pushes him away. "Now go Daddy, and tell Daddy Strife I love him and I will watch out for the babies until you both come back."

Shaking his head sadly, "We won't be….."

He is interrupted again by Bliss, "I know of what I speak, we will all be together again, ……..when new dawn brings new peace…

……..and the son of Helios embraces
night……
……..then all that is done will be
undone……


……..and Love and Mischief's family will be as
one….

"Who, what…..?"

"Go father, til we meet again." And with that Bliss flashes out.

Staring dumbly at the spot that his son once occupied, Cupid closes his eyes as tears flow freely down his cheeks. Stretching out his wings he tips his head back. Swallowing the liquid quickly he shouts…..

"STRIFE!!!"

********** ************* ** **************** ************** ************

In the distance thunderclaps and lightning roars across Olympus.
In the House of Love and in the Temple of War deep agonizing bellows of sorrow and pain echo throughout until it fills all of Olympus, then Greece and beyond.
Gods, demigods, demons and mortals alike wince at the sound and cover their ears as sorrow fills their hearts.

***********************

And we can have forever,
And we can love forever,
Forever is our today,
Who wants to live forever,
Who wants to live forever,
Forever is our today,
Who waits forever anyway?

In a far of field two lovers embrace, with the promise that nothing, not even death will separate them again.

***********************

Touch my world with your fingertips,

Gaia smiles as the Earth trembles beneath her touch. Sending soothing waves throughout the World she smiles.

***** from all this pain
***** happiness will come
***** a new dawn for Olympus
*****
***** it has begun
*****

[ Update  | Fiction  | Challenge  | Round Robin  | Joint Effort Fiction  | Links  | Gallery  ]

Broken links or other errors can be sent to Carrie. Suggestions are also welcome.