AresJoxerCupidStrife - Scorpio

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

TITLE: Husband
AUTHOR: Scorpio
ARCHIVE: The Nesting Place, AJCS, JLA, Joxerotica, The Den and CKoS
FANDOM: Xena:WP
PAIRING: Ares/Joxer
RATING: PG-13
CATEGORY: Humor (i hope)
DEDICATION: To Xandria for "Strategies of Attack II", to Hergerbabe for "Bringing the Inside Out", to Corona for "Making Connections", to Mac for "Rabbit", to Christine for riding herd on the "AJCS RR" and to Bianca for a multitude of delightful sins. Adore you guys!
WARNING: ::giggles::
SUMMARY: After thinking long and hard ::snort:: Zeus makes a decision about his broody growly WarGod son.

HUSBAND by Scorpio

~~~~
Part 1
~~~~

"ZEUS!!!!!"

Hearing the confused anger and stressed out frustration in his youngest child's voice, Zeus flashed into being in the middle of the dust choked road to see Hercules kneeling down next to his little blonde friend and holding a rag to a jagged cut along the mortal's arm. All around them, houses and shops burned fitfully as people swarmed around in a mild panic, either fleeing or trying to contain the damage and prevent it from spreading. The injured lay about groaning in pain and the dead just lay upon the ground, bleeding into the dirt.

A low snarl pulled his attention back to his child.

"Father! You've *got* to do something about Ares! Enough is enough. This...this is just *too* much."

Zeus glanced around at the chaos that surrounded them and figured that now was not the time to admit that he himself had *ordered* Ares to attack this once bustling town. Hercules was the only one of this children that still held onto any illusions about him, and he wasn't ready to lose that yet. So, instead of fessing up, he made a totally unrelated observation that reinforced another of Hercules misconceptions.

"Well, Ares has quite a lot of his mother in him."

It wasn't a *lie*. Ares *did* have a lot of his mother's qualities in him...like her compassion and her obsession with details. While time and events had twisted both his son's and his wife's shared sense of compassion, it certainly hadn't *destroyed* it.

Hercules just grunted. His own opinions would color Zeus' vague statement however the demigod chose to take it, but Zeus wasn't about to correct him. Instead, he looked over at the burning remains of the town and noted that Ares hadn't completed all of the things that Zeus had asked him to. Ares would need to be punished for that.

"I mean, you don't know how *difficult* it was to stop him this time. It's like he was obsessed or something."

Zeus smiled softly at his youngest child but refused to say that the "or something" was a compulsion that he himself had laid on the WarGod. Instead he merely reached down and gently touched the blonde man's wound, healing it completely. Then he patted Hercules on the shoulder.

"Don't worry. I promise that I will have words with your brother about his actions here today."

Once again, the King of the Gods knew that his child would misunderstand his true meaning. And once again he declined to correct his misconceptions. Instead, he flashed away, back to Olympus.

~

Zeus bit back a sigh as Artemis flashed into his private study, her usually lovely face twisted into an angry pout. Pushing aside his irritation, he offered up a smile to his daughter and silently hoped that it would be a quick visit. He had a lot of work to clear from his desk if he wanted to find the time to sneak off to see his newest mortal lover.

"Yes, my dear?"

With the innate grace of an athlete, Artemis flung herself into one of his overstuffed chairs and absently fingered her bow.

"Dad, you've *got* to do something about that leather wearing, pain-in-the-ass, walking *hormone*!"

Zeus arched up one eyebrow in question. Almost *all* of his children were pain-in-the-ass walking hormones, but the whole leather thing narrowed it down a bit. To Ares and Eris. Or possibly Strife. Artemis caught his look of mild confusion and snarled.

"Ares! He won't leave my Amazons alone! This is a busy time of year for them and they aren't getting anything done because they are all too busy gossiping about who slept with the WarGod last night and who do they think will get a visit *this* night! I'm slowly losing *control*!"

Zeus nodded and plastered a wholly faked sympathetic expression on his face.

"Don't worry about it any longer, my precious pet. I'll talk to him and explain that he can't do that. If he were to take *one* lover, that would be different, but to try and subvert your followers? That's simply not allowed."

Artemis' face blossomed into a relived smile and she impulsively flung her arms around Zeus as she babbled her thanks into his ear. He patted her gently on the shoulder and soaked up her outpouring of love and adulation even as a small part of his mind made plans to go and visit her Amazons himself. He was certain that those lovely women would all need consoling once the WarGod stopped visiting them regularly.

~

It had been a wonderful day and he had been enjoying a delightful stroll among the brightly colored flower gardens when he came across his son and daughter. Ares and Aphrodite. Those two were an enigma to him. He didn't really understand either or them, nor what they saw in each other. When they were getting along, the sparks flew and when they *didn't* get along, sparks of a different sort flew.

He was too far away to hear what they were saying, but suddenly Ares disappeared in a flash of blood red sparkles and Aphrodite threw her hands up in the air in what seemed to be exasperation. Then, she too disappeared.

Zeus stood there for a long moment staring at the spot where they had stood. It looked to Zeus that War didn't understand Love either, nor did Love understand War. That thought, of course, led to other thoughts...all concerning his dark haired son. And of ways to keep him out of trouble...or at least out of his own hair.

~

It had been a long day, one filled with many complaints and even longer hours. Yet, despite all of his distractions, he found himself puzzling over Ares again and again. He had a sudden inspiration and it excited him all at once. Some tiny little voice in the back of his mind told him that he should just leave it alone, but he felt the need to do *something*, so he ignored it's warning and pushed ahead.

Flashing over to his wife's Temple, he found her busy at work, a desk full of scrolls in front of her and several scrying mirrors focused on various heavily pregnant mortals. He cleared his throat to announce himself.

"Dear? May I ask you a few quick questions?"

He hated feeling as if he were cringing, but Hera was one of the few beings who had the power to make his existence truly miserable and she could hold a grudge for a long long time. She didn't even look up from what she was working on.

"Yes, Zeus. What do you want?"

He frowned as he considered how to begin.

"Are you and Ares still not speaking to each other?"

The Queen of Olympus dropped her quill and looked up at that. A small frown graced her features, but Zeus could recognize the hint of sadness in her eyes. She peered at him suspiciously.

"Yes. Why?"

He hurried on.

"Well, I was just thinking that I knew a way to get him *past* that. You see, I know that he wouldn't want a long drawn out ceremony. Not one for crowds, our Ares is, but perhaps a set of wedding rings that *you* had personally blessed, binding him and his Consort forever?"

Zeus desperately hoped that his wife would be too excited about the idea of Ares getting married and the possibility that a set of rings from her would pave the way for reconciliation with her son to notice or even remember that as of just now, the WarGod wasn't *dating* anyone. At least, not seriously. As he hoped, Hera didn't ask any embarrassing questions about who, when or why. She merely smiled a blinding smile of pure happiness, which drove a shard of guilt into his heart, and then jumped out of her chair and raced over to a chest of drawers. Pulling open the top drawer, she reached in and took out a small box. Without question, she handed it over.

"The rings are in here. I had a set made for him and a set for Eris when they were first born. The blessing is already on them, all they have to do is place them on each other's fingers while both are willing and have given their consent. Once they are in place, they can never be removed again."

Zeus smiled. This was *just* what he was looking for. And it was all ready done. No need to wait. He was just about to leave when Hera did the one thing he had hoped that she wouldn't. She got curious.

"Tell me...who is it that Ares wishes to marry?"

Frantically, Zeus searched the vaults of his mind for someone, *anyone* to name. Someone that would make sense and would be enough of a challenge to keep Ares busy and out of everyone's hair.

"Jett!"

He grinned. That would work.

"You know, he's one of the triplets that Strife sired. Only a minor demigod, I know...but with this ring, it'll be enough to make him immortal, so there is no need to worry."

Relieved and excited, Hera smiled. A *real* smile and for the first time in a long time, Zeus remembered why he had married her in the first place. She really *was* a lovely woman.

~

Zeus had decided to wait until the morning to start on the next part of his plan. It had taken a while to actually find Ares, but find him, he did. It was only two minutes into their conversation that Zeus realized that he couldn't *force* Ares into doing this. Hera had specified that both parties had to be willing and give their consent to wear the rings. So...Zeus did the first thing that came to mind.

He got his son drunk while pretending to discuss an upcoming battle campaign.

Granted, he cheated by spiking the wine with pure spirits, but it *worked*. Amazingly. Ares was in a *grand* mood, giggling and laughing and generally relaxing in a way that Zeus hadn't been witness to in ages. Of course, he was drunk too, but that was a small price to pay. Right?

Finally figuring that if Ares drank too much more he'd simply pass out, Zeus decided that it was time to go fetch the other groom. It took several long moments and a couple of tries before he could fix his mind on his vague and blurry memories of Jett. Then, with an erratic burst of power, he flashed out of the Halls of War and into the middle of a forest.

He swayed on his feet as he peered with a drunken squint at Jett. Something seemed off about Strife's eldest triplet, but Zeus couldn't quite put his finger on *what* exactly, so he ignored that impulse. Instead, he spared a quick moment to giggle at the ridiculous hat and the lopsided armor and he then grabbed the demigod by the arm and flashed back to Ares' home Temple.

Once there, his ears were assaulted by a horrified squeak followed quickly by a loud clatter and crash. Turning unsteadily, he found Jett had passed out into a heap on the floor. Ares just looked over at them and burst out into gales of laughter. Zeus grinned back at him in open amusement.

Bending down, he slapped the man on the cheek until he woke up. When the demigod turned pale and seemed to be on the edge of fainting once more, Zeus handed him a cup of the spiked wine that he and Ares had been drinking.

"Here you go, my boy. Just drink a snort of this and it won't seem so bad. Yes?"

The demigod grabbed the goblet and his mismatched armor rattled. Then he gulped it all down in one long draught. He gasped once and then began coughing madly. Grinning at his reaction, Zeus patted him gently on the back and then helped him to stand up. He helped Jett to walk over to the WarGod who was currently wiping tears of laughter out of his eyes.

Smiling, Zeus refilled all of their cups with the spiked wine and they all spent the next few moments toasting everything and everyone. Well, to be honest, Jett just seemed to be trying to drink himself into insensibility so that he wouldn't have to deal with the fact that he was standing around with the King of the Gods and the normally volatile WarGod, but that was okay.

When Zeus drunkenly judged that both of them were suitably malleable, but not yet unconscious, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box he had gotten from Hera. He pulled a face as if just suddenly remembering something of minor importance.

"Oh yeah...I almost forgot I had this."

He flipped open the top and pulled out one of the rings and handed it to his son.

"Here Ares. Take this a moment, would you?"

Ares reached out and took it with a happy shrug of drunken unconcern. Then, Zeus peered over at it and pretended to frown in confusion.

"Oh wait...that one is his."

He hooked a thumb towards Jett.

"Be a good boy and slide it on his finger for me before I forget. Hmmm?"

Jett and Ares exchanged looks, smiled and shrugged. Then, the demigod held out his hand and the WarGod reached out to steady it. Frowning with the exaggerated concentration he needed to do this drunk, Ares finally slid the ring onto the man's finger.

Next, Zeus pretended to drop the other ring and watched in veiled amusement as it rolled to a stop at Jett's feet.

"Oh crap! I dropped Ares' ring!"

Jett smiled a goofy grin that didn't seem in character for him, but Zeus ignored it as a symptom of all of the wine.

"Don't worry. I'll get it for you."

Unsteady on his feet, the demigod bent over to pick up the ring. It was only because Ares had caught him that he didn't fall over onto his face. Zeus couldn't help it. He chuckled at the sight of the drunken assassin.

"Thank you boy. That was down right kind of you. Be a pet and put it on Ares finger before I lose it permanently."

With an unconcerned shrug, Jett slipped the ring onto the WarGod's finger and then looked down at it more closely. He frowned slightly.

"Hey! Your ring looks just like mine. How about that. We match."

Then Ares frowned slightly and glanced down at the rings. He looked at Jett's and then his own once more. Then he turned a confused look over at Zeus.

"Um...how come you gave me and Joxer identical rings?"

Zeus was just about to spring the news when something his son said caught his attention.

"Joxer? The youngest triplet? But...but, I thought you were Jett?"

The demigod shook his head no and Ares' frown deepened.

"No...um, I'm not Jett. I'm Joxer. Jett's in prison in Sparta. At least, he was the last time I saw him. If this is *his* ring, I'll give it back."

Zeus began to silently berate himself for drinking so much himself when Joxer began to try and remove his ring. And of course, he couldn't. It was made to *stay on*. Forever. Then *Ares* tried to remove *his* ring. And couldn't. The WarGod growled in anger and Joxer began to panic. His son glared at him and snarled.

"What did you *do*?"

Zeus found himself fidgeting slightly as he blushed with pained embarrassment at his mistake. He spoke in a rush, mashing his words together in order to be able to *leave* as soon as possible.

"Uh...well, thoseringsweremadebyyourmotheranddon'tcomeoff. Ever. Because... Youtwoaresortofmarriednowandthereisnothinganyonecandoaboutit."

He watched them both blink at him in astonishment.

"Bye."

And then he flashed out of the Halls of War to look for a place to hide.

~~~~
Part 2
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~Reality Check~

A light tapping against his cheek pulled him up out of blissful oblivion and further into awareness. His eyelashes fluttered briefly and he shifted slightly. The tapping stopped only to switch into a hand gently shaking his shoulder. He slid into full wakefulness.

"Hey Xena, you'll never guess what dream I just had. I was drinking with Ares and...."

Joxer opened his eyes and his voice trailed off with an undignified squeak. Instead of his best friend and favorite cousin leaning over him, he found himself staring right into the dark angry eyes of his Great-Uncle Ares. And the WarGod was *pissed*. Cringing and tensing his entire body, he squeezed his eyes tightly shut once again.

"I'm still asleep. I'm still asleep. This is all a bad dream. I'm still asleep."

A sigh which was more growl than anything else rumbled above him.

"Joxer! You *are* awake, so open you eyes. Now!"

Instantly, and against his will, his eyes obeyed Ares and flung themselves open. Unfortunately, his mouth followed suit and he began to babble in a way which was strongly reminiscent of his sire.

"*Oh* Ares, I am *so* sorry. I had *no* idea that I shouldn't have been here. I mean, if I had only known that you and Zeus were looking for *Jett* than I would've *said* that I wasn't him. That I was *me*. But I *didn't* know. I *swear*! And then there was wine and laughter and the rings and then...and then..."

Memory came swirling back into his mind in a rush. He remembered it all. Zeus grabbing him right out of Xena's camp. The numerous toasts with the wine that strangely burned as it went down and the raucous laughter. Then the whole thing with the rings and Zeus' odd pronouncement that had taken him twice as long as Ares to translate into *real* Greek. He remembered about how Zeus had said that he was now married to...to.... Joxer looked up once again at the furious WarGod and felt the wooziness rush back as he began to hyperventilate.

"Breath Joxer! Don't faint!"

But it was too late. He *tried* to obey his Great-Uncle, but the darkness rushed in again and he knew no more.

~The Great Escape~

Zeus flashed into his private study and immediately began to pace and mutter to himself.

"I can't *believe* that I did what I just did. It's bad *enough* that I tricked Ares into getting married. *That* would have been bad enough as it was, but at least with *Jett* I knew that they'd get along. After all, Jett looks up to Ares. Tries to emulate him. And they have so much in common. They both collect sharp edged weapons and wear black leather! I mean, they'd be *perfect* for each other!"

Zeus finished pacing and threw himself into his chair in a rumbled heap that stunk strongly of wine and alcohol fumes. A little voice in the back of his head told him that if he thought a comparable wardrobe and a mutual enjoyment of weaponry was enough to make a healthy relationship, then he needed to go be counseled by Aphrodite on matters of love for a bit. As usual, he ignored that little voice and continued to mutter to himself.

"I can't believe that I allowed myself to get so drunk that I grabbed *Joxer* instead of *Jett*. Not that Joxer isn't a nice boy, because he *is*. In fact, he's the *nicest* child that Strife ever sired, but that's the whole point! What would *Ares* want with nice? Oh...this is bad. Real bad. Worse than bad. It's...the baddest!"

Suddenly, inspiration struck and Zeus grew quiet and still for a long moment as he considered his idea. After a moment, his eyes lit up with a strangely desperate hope.

"It could work. I...I think that's what I'll do. Yes. Definitely what I'll do."

With that cryptic statement, Zeus concentrated hard and a large heavy scroll appeared in his outstretched hand. Quickly, he unrolled it and read over it to be sure that it said exactly what he wanted it to say. Twice he had to make a minor correction, but in the end, it meticulously outlined how his duties should be divided up among the Twelve. Then, he concentrated again and a single sheet of parchment appeared. He read over this as well. It was just a brief note addressed to Hera.

Beloved Wife,

I have felt as if I have been overworked as of late. I have decided that a vacation for myself is definitely in order. Not permanently, of course, but just for a short while. I will return once I am feeling more like myself.

Please refer to the scroll that I have left on top of my desk in the west study for a listing of my duties and who I have assigned to look after them. If there is any problems or emergencies, have the children come to you directly.

Love always, Zeus

Satisfied with the note as well, Zeus sent it to his wife's dressing table and left the scroll where it sat on his desk. Then, with a last look around to make certain he hadn't forgotten anything, he flashed out of Olympus.

~A Mother's Duties~

Hera took one last look into the cradle at the now sleeping newborn and smiled gently. This baby girl had just been born to a woman who had spent several years as a low ranking servant in one of her Temples and the new mother had suffered a painful birth, but Hera had made sure that both would survive. It had been hard work and the morning had been accompanied by a few moments of panic, but in the end everything had turned out just fine. And the whole situation had left her with a deep seated sense of satisfaction and the knowledge of a difficult job done well.

Now, she could turn her mind to other matters. Flashing out of the small house, she returned to her home Temple. For a long moment, she stared over at her desk filled with scrolls and petitions and frowned. Then, she considered the long list of prayers awaiting her attention and sighed. It was no use. She *knew* that she had a lot of work waiting for her, but her mind kept wanting to return to Ares and his lover Jett.

She had been shocked and excited when Zeus had come to her to inform her that Ares wanted to claim Strife's child as his consort. She hadn't even known that they had been involved, but that wasn't too hard to understand. Ares *was* angry with her, after all, and as such, he didn't speak to her unless it was specifically relating to a war or to one of her duties and how they affected his followers. And *nothing* personal.

Still, this *was* in her domain so it *was* her business so she had a right to know the details. However, she didn't want to upset Ares when they finally had a chance to fix things between them. So, she decided that instead of visiting *him*, she would go to see *Jett* and talk to him about the wedding. After all, Jett would know what was going on.

A smile on her face, Hera flashed out of her Temple without checking her messages or scrolls.

~Ya Gotta Be Shittin' Me~

"STRIFE!!!!!"

Ares' bellow echoed and bounced among the domes and barrels of the vaulted ceiling in the Halls of War. Weaponry rattled in it's racks and dust rained down from above from the sound vibrations. Even Joxer, in his current state of unconsciousness, twitched from the sheer volume. A single mortal heartbeat later, the Mischief God appeared in a shower of green-blue sparkles and shimmers.

"Yo Unc. Ya yelled for me?"

Ares spun around and shot his nephew a deadly glare that could blister paint at forty paces. Instinctively, Strife held up both hands palm up and stepped back.

"Woah! What evah it was, I didn't do it! *Honest*!"

Ares looked at the expression of pure fear on Strife's face and tried to calm himself down. He took in a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. Then, he brought up his hand and wiped it down his face. It was at that point that he noticed the shiny gold ring on his finger once again. He barely suppressed a howl of rage. Instead he growled out his instructions and explanations to his mildly trembling nephew.

"Listen up. I'm *not* gonna say this twice."

Strife nodded his head frantically and plastered on his I'm-listening-closely-and-hanging-on-every-word face. Ares paused, then began talking with sarcasm practically dripping off of his angrily snarled words.

"My *beloved* parents, in their infinite *wisdom* have decided that I should be *married*. They also chose my eternal consort *for* me."

Strife cringed at the very thought, but he didn't interrupt, so Ares continued.

"In fact, they decided that I should marry your son Jett. However, my ever so *delightful* father was too *drunk* to tell the triplets apart and he grabbed *Joxer* instead."

Strife's normally pale face suddenly drained of what little color he all ready had in his cheeks. For a second, Ares thought that he was going to faint like Joxer had. When the Mischief God managed to stay on his feet with little more than a slight swaying and a barely heard whisper of "...joxer..." passing his lips, Ares went on.

"Not realizing *why* we were there, Joxer and I got drunk with the old goat and then he *tricked* us into putting on a matching set of *rings* that my *dear sweet* mother had thoughtfully *cursed* before hand."

Strife whimpered quietly and reached out with one shaking hand to brace himself against a Ares' table.

"The rings won't come *off*, of course, so now I am officially *married* to your youngest son. The spell on the rings are permanent, so this is forever, without any chance for a divorce, so there is no way to say 'oops, my dad is stupid and he fucked up' with this."

Strife's face went even more white and his left eye began to twitch violently. Blindly, he reached back and pulled out a chair from under the table and just sat back. He missed the chair and hit the floor, but in his horrified shock, he didn't seem to notice. He just sat there and gaped at the WarGod.

Ares stared at his nephew and wondered if the news had broken what little mind the Mischief God had to start with. He was just about to storm over there and slap his face to bring him back to his senses when Strife looked up at him, fear and shock making his icy blue eyes seem darker.

"Please don't kill Jox, Unc. It ain't *his* fault, so don't kill 'em. Okay?"

Ares blinked in momentary confusion at this unexpected plea.

"I wasn't going to kill Joxer. I want to kill my parents. Preferably slowly and with lots of blood, fire and screaming involved. But not Joxer."

Almost instantly, Strife seemed to melt with his obvious relief. The younger God practically swooned with it.

"Thanks, Unc. I'm glad ya feel that way, 'cause Jox is just as much a victim as you are. I mean, he wasn't exactly given a choice here neither, ya know?"

Ares frowned. To be honest, he hadn't even considered how the demigod might have felt about the whole thing. He only knew that the man had fainted *twice* so far. And he himself had been in the grips of a towering rage. It's not like either of them had been up for any long talks about the situation. Strife, however, took Ares sudden introspection the wrong way.

"No offense, Unc. I *not* sayin' that ya ain't a great catch, 'cause ya *are*. That ain't it. I'm just sayin' that *both* of ya were tricked here. And no one asked *me* about this either. Not that I have any say over *you*, but both Jett and Joxer are *my* boys and I feel like *I* should be th' only one ta force 'em inta a marriage that they didn't choose, ya know?"

Ares blinked again. Oddly enough, he could understand what his nephew meant. All he had to do was imagine how he would feel if someone forced his daughter Xena into a marriage without her consent or his approval. He'd want to rip out someone's lungs and use them to make a saddle for his horse.

Ares sighed again and made a few quick decisions. For one, his nephew was right. Joxer wasn't the enemy here, in fact, the demigod was a victim to Zeus and Hera's whims as much as he was. They would have to talk this whole situation out, but not right now. Ares knew himself well enough to know that he was too angry and he would just end up hurting the man's feelings on top of everything else.

Secondly, Ares wanted to find out *why* his parents did this to them. If they would have just *asked* him about it, he could have taken the time to *find* a consort. He wasn't *against* the idea of marriage, it had just never been a priority for him.

Thirdly, he *really* needed to go somewhere and kill something...or someone. If nothing else, the violence would calm his nerves a bit.

"Look Strife. I'm going to go try and find the old goat and demand an explanation for this. You stay here and look after Joxer. He's had a difficult morning and I don't think he should wake up alone. He's in the guest room right now being unconscious."

Strife looked up at him sharply and Ares could almost hear the questions swirling around the Mischief God's head. But Ares wasn't in the mood to play twenty questions with a pissed off and overprotective demented Godling when he could be figureing out how severely his parents needed to be punished.

~Working on a Chain Gang~

Apparently, the Spartan Government had learned to look ahead as well as be frugal with the budget at the same time. The rainy season was coming on and the city had a large number of prisoners that were chained together by ankle shackles out digging drainage ditches. That was were she found Jett.

Pausing to take a long admiring look, she noted his toned muscles and sweat slick skin as he strained at his labor. Absently she licked her lips and squeezed her thighs together. Her baby boy had good taste in men.

Walking over the broken ground until she stood in front of him, she shimmered into view. For a quick moment, she thought that his hair-trigger reflexes were going to get her bashed with his shovel, but he caught himself at the last moment. Then, he grinned a wide smile at her and bowed low at the waist.

"Lady Hera. You look as beautiful as ever. To what do I owe the exquisite pleasure of your company."

Feeling a bit like a young maiden again, Hera felt herself blush even as she pushed down an urge to giggle. Oh, how she *loved* a man with manners. It was *such* a turn on.

She was about to congratulate him on his upcoming nuptials when one of the guards on duty sauntered over with a scowl on his face. Hera sniffed indignantly at him. Her sweet Ares could scowl *so* much better than that mortal *ever* could. However, her mild irritation turned quickly to angry shock when the guard grabbed her roughly by the arm and squeezed hard.

"Hey lady! You don't belong here and there is *no* talking to these scum!"

She was about to melt the fool into an unrecognizable puddle of goo when her Great-Grandson took the initiative with his shovel. CLANG!!! The business end of the shovel made a hollow ringing sound as it smashed into the man's helmeted head and then THUD!!! the man dropped like a basket of stones to the ground.

"You don't touch her! You aren't *worthy* enough to touch her!"

CLANG!!!

CLANG!!!

CLANG!!!

Suddenly, Jett shifted his hold on the shovel so that instead of bringing the flat side of it down on the mortal's head, he had the edge of it aimed at the guard's unprotected throat. THUNK!!! The blade of the shovel cut easily into the man's throat and came to a jarring stop when it hit his spinal column.

Hera wrinkled up her nose at the blood pooling around the corpse and stepped to the side to prevent her shoes and hems from becoming a mess. Then she offered up another smile at Jett. She could see why Ares wanted to marry this one.

"Thank you my dear. That man was unforgivably rude."

Jett smiled at her charmingly.

"My pleasure, my Lady."

Hera almost giggled at his display of manners again, however, she was able to suppress the urge and maintain her dignity.

"I just stopped by to congratulate you on your upcoming marriage to my son Ares."

Instantly, Jett's smile vanished and was replaced by a frown.

"Uh...I didn't know I *was* supposed to marry Ares. We aren't even seeing each other. In fact, I'm *in* a relationship all ready. With someone else. You know, Autolycus? Hermes son? Well, that's who I'm with...or will be once I'm out of here."

Hera frowned in confusion. She had been *certain* that Zeus had said he needed those rings because Ares wanted to marry Jett.

"Uh...could it be my brother Jace?"

Hera blinked for a moment as she considered it. Personally, she didn't see how Ares could want to marry *Jace*, but then again...maybe he was kinky that way. Who could say for sure? Slowly, she nodded.

"Maybe that was it. Well, I'm going to go see Jace and try to figure out what Zeus was babbling about if it wasn't you. It was nice seeing you again dear."

With that, Hera flashed away from the chain gang and the dirty prisioners. She took the manacle that had been binding her Great-Grandson with her. Idly, she wondered how long it would take him to make his escape.

~Hysteria and Panic~

"But *Daaa-aaaaaad*, Ares is gonna *kill* me!"

Strife looked into his youngest son's panic filled face and tried not to cringe at the ear splitting shriek that had managed to reach tones that only dogs and gods could hear.

"Unc ain't gonna whack ya. He *promised* me."

Joxer shook his head in denial and went even more pale than his sire. Sweat beaded up on his forehead and his heart pounded behind his ribs.

"No! You don't understand. Maybe not *now* cause he's still pissed at Zeus, but eventually he will focus on *me* and get mad! 'Cause I'm not a good fighter, or 'cause I'm not real smart or 'cause I'm clumsy or...or just he can't just get *rid* of me!"

Strife wasn't sure what to do to help his boy feel better. It didn't help that he was worried about how Ares was going to be himself, so he couldn't give any *real* promises of safety. Still, he didn't want Joxer to work himself up into such a tizzy. It wasn't doing anyone any good, but the boy was just far too panicked to reason with.

"Look, Jox. It can all be worked out. Unc knows that ya didn't have anythin' ta do wit' this whole mess. Ya not th' bad guy here."

Joxer trembled and shook with the force of his emotions and for a second Strife entertained the idea of just zapping him with a jolt of power and putting him back to sleep again. But then Joxer sorta collapsed in on himself and flung his arms around Strife's neck and burried his face against the Mischief God's neck and sobbed.

"I'm too *young* to die!"

Strife sighed and patted his boy on the shoulder.

~Two Queens~

Jace always set Hera off balance. Her eyes told her *female* but her senses told her *male* and as such, she was never quite sure how to handle the young woman...man...whatever.

When Hera arrived in a shower of golden sparkles looking all regal and demure, Jace had jumped up away from her vanity and curtsied with exquisite grace.

"Your Divine Majesty. I am honored by your august presence."

Hera began to puff herself up. She always *did* have a weakness for formality and ritual. Before she could compose a suitable reply however, Jace switched gears and gushed like a schoolgirl. With a mile-wide smile and a jiggly bounce, the young girl...er boy...whatever, rushed over and enfolded the Queen of Olympus in a hug.

"Ooooo! You look so won'erful, sweetie! Jace could jus' gobble you all up."

Dizzy with the feeling that she had missed something somewhere and torn between wanting to hug her Great-Granddaughter...er...son, and wanting to push Jace away so that she could brush the wrinkles out of her robes, Hera did something she *never* did. She squeaked. And Jace giggled.

Finally, Strife's child let go of her and stepped back. Hera was certain that her robes were wrinkled and that her hair was mused up, but she was in too much of a hurry to *get out of there* to care. She just had one question and then she was *leaving*.

"Jace? Are you and Ares getting married?"

Jace stared at her all goggle eyed, blinked twice and then burst out into gales of rich laughter.

"Jace and leather britches? Oh....that is *too* funny."

Hera frowned.

"No way, Jose'. Jace is in luv, cee. But not with Mister Growly Face. Che is in luv wit' da shiny Sun God, Apollo. Yes?"

Hera stared at the demigod stupidly for a long moment while her brain frantically tried to translate what she...he...whatever, just said. The Goddess of Marriage was used to it since she had to do the same thing when talking with Jace's sire. Finally she realized that Jace had admitted to being lovers with Apollo.

"Oh."

Without even bothering to explain, Hera left. She needed a nap. And a new robe.

~Family Ties~

Unable to find either his father or his mother, Ares decided to seek out his daughter. After all, Xena was probably worried about Joxer after Zeus had stolen him right out from under her nose. And even though he knew that Joxer tested his daughter's nerves at times, he was the only family member besides Hercules that she even liked. And she was a tad overprotective when it came to his safety.

While waiting for her to top the rise of the hill he waited on, Ares had amused himself and attempted to settle his nerves by blasting trees into smoldering hunks of charcoal. It didn't really help, but it passed the time. Then suddenly, Xena and the blonde harpy were there.

"Ares! Where's Joxer!"

Sighing, Ares turned to glare at his daughter. He paused a moment to indulge in a wash of pride in her and then he pushed it aside.

"He's in the Halls of War where my idiot father left him. Don't worry, he's safe. Strife is with him."

Xena relaxed fractionally. While she didn't personally *like* Strife, she knew that he would never hurt his children. Gabrielle on the other hand wasn't aware of the familial connection and probably wouldn't have cared anyway.

"What's that psychotic freak doing with Joxer? Give him back, Ares!"

Not having any patience left at this point, Ares flung a blast of power at the blonde bard. A shimmering wave of bright red energy washed over her. When it disappeared, it left a black leather gag in her mouth. She struggled to remove it, but couldn't. Ares ignored her. Instead, he focused on Xena.

"Look. This *wasn't* my idea. Zeus was drunk and grabbed Joxer when he was *really* after Jett. But that is besides the point because he went and did what he had planned *anyway* and now both Joxer and I have to deal with the consequences."

Xena frowned in confusion.

"What are you talking about Ares. Just *what* exactly did Zeus *do*?"

Ares realized that he had gotten ahead of himself and scowled. He held out his hand and showed her the sparkling ring on his finger.

"He *married* us. Congratulations, Joxer is now your step-dad."

Instantly, both of the women looked up at him in shock. Gabrielle stopped fighting with her gag and fell over on her ass in the dirt. Xena shook and nearly dropped her sword as she swayed on her feet. Ares nodded his head in sympathy.

"Yeah...that was *my* reaction too. Right before I started blowing stuff into smithereens, that is."

Ares pulled back his hand and ran it through his raven curls and blew out a sigh.

"Look. I know we don't always get along, but I need you to help Joxer with all of this. Neither of us were given a choice and unfortunately, we can't *undo* it. Whether he likes the idea or not, he's now my consort and he's going to have a lot of adjusting to do. I want this to go as easy for him as possible, so if he needs to get away from the Halls of War for a while and just...take a break from the family, can I still send him to you?"

Ares watched as his daughter blinked frantically for a long moment before silently nodding her head. He relaxed fractionally as one worry was erased from his mind.

"Thank you, Xena. We *both* appreciate that."

Then, without waiting for a response, Ares flashed back to his home and his new husband. He left Gabrielle in her leather gag.

~~~~
Part 3
~~~~

Ares flashed into the main planning room in the Halls of War. It was actually a single room in the middle of the suite of rooms, corridors and storage space that mortals referred to as his "War Room". This particular area was set up with a conference table on one end of the room and the other end held a small stage complete with a podium for someone to stand behind and give presentations or make speeches.

Ares glanced around the room, studying it slightly and frowned in concentration. It would suit his purposes, but it needed a few minor adjustments. By Olympian Law, he had to officially present his Consort to all the members of his House within twenty-four hours so that said Consort would be recognized by the *other* Houses as the Consort of War and not just Ares' fuck-toy. It would be different if it were anyone else, but as Ares was the head of the House of Aggression, it meant that his Consort would have specific duties and titles as well. And he wanted to get this over with so that he could concentrate on figuring out where his parents went off to.

The most dominating color in the room was black and it was trimmed in steel and red enamel. It looked fine to him and it generally suited his moods, but he knew his Great-Nephew well enough to know that Joxer would find it dark and depressing. He and Jace had enough of their mortal mother in them to prefer bright colors to the unrelieved black that Jett and their sire Strife favored. So, that would be Ares' first change. More color.

He altered the chairs that surrounded the conference table to be covered in red leather over black painted wood instead of black leather over black painted wood and he created a whole new chair. One that was more ornate than the others, but not quite as ornate as his own. The new chair was solid red, while his own throne remained solid black. It was placed at the right hand side of his own at the head of the table.

The conference table itself was made of a solid and highly polished black granite. A simple thought changed the granite to black marble with red veins running through it. The only modification to the polished black granite floor that he made was to trim the edging where it met the black stone walls with bright red ceramic tiles. And he replaced all of his normal black candles with bright red ones. He left the steel weaponry and the occasional human skull hanging where they were on the walls.

Glancing around, he figured that it was *much* cheerier in here now and wouldn't seem as threatening to Joxer. The only remaining thing to do was to create a seat for the Heads of the *other* Houses so that they too, could witness Joxer's official presentation as his Consort.

Ares looked back at the space at the foot of the table and frowned as he considered it. He would need a throne comparable to his own for the Houses of Intellect, Nature and Divinity. In the middle, he created a throne of pristine white for the House of Divinity. It was etched with swirling designs that were like abstract clouds. It would be where his father would sit, or if he failed to show, a representative from his House. Next, to the right of that throne, he created another, this one gold with bright blue velvet cushions. It looked tacky to him personally, but he was sure that Apollo would love it. Next, he created a third throne and placed it on the opposite side of the white one. This last one was sapphire green and was carved with leaves and vines along it.

Finally finished, Ares turned and began to walk back into the parts of the Halls of War that were set aside as living quarters. He needed to send out his summons to the people who had to attend the ceremony and he had to get Joxer and himself ready.

~

{{Aunt Demeter?}}

The Goddess of Fertility and the Harvest looked up from her gardening and frowned in startled curiosity at the voice of her nephew in her head.

"Yes, Ares? What is it?"

{{I am going to present my Consort to the House of Aggression today and I need either yourself or a chosen representative to witness for the House of Nature.}}

Shock rippled through Demeter at the very idea of Ares getting married. Not that the WarGod wasn't beautiful or even capable of feeling love, she just never thought that she'd see the day when he settled down with *one* person. She caught herself right before she fell over onto her backside in the dirt and tried not to gape like a fish.

"I'll be there. At what time?"

{{A half hour after sunset. I'll provide refreshments after the ceremony.}}

The Goddess which was the Head of the House of Nature nodded absently as she felt Ares mind leave her own. She couldn't get over how...*strange* this all seemed to her. Granted, she didn't *socialize* with the WarGod, but they did have a fairly pleasant working relationship and she had never once guessed that he might have been involved with anyone. Normally, she wasn't one for large crowds and Hestia or Artemis would have gone in her place, but she was *very* curious about Ares' Consort and she knew right then and there that she would attend in person. Squinting up at the sky, Demeter quickly calculated how much time she would have left to spend in her garden before she needed to get ready.

~

{{Apollo.}}

A sour note rent the air and the Sun God snarled in a fair imitation of the brother who had just interrupted his practice.

"This better be good Ares, I'm trying to compose an important piece of music here."

Apollo smirked when he could feel Ares' irritation wash over him. Served the jerk right, bothering a guy when he's busy...how rude.

{{Look, I'm holding an *official* meeting and I *need* to have someone from your House attend as a representative. So I don't want any of your attitude right...}}

Apollo cut him off.

"Call Athena and have her sit in."

{{I said it was an *official* meeting, dickhead. Athena sits on *both* of our Councils, so she had to attend as a member of the House of Aggression and *not* as a member of the House of Intellect.}}

Apollo sighed. He hated this shit. He was a busy God and he had lots of stuff to do. Besides, he didn't really *like* his dark haired brother much. He couldn't send any of the Muses, they were all frightened by the Gods of Aggression and his son was at Uncle Poseidon's treating the Sea God's youngest child, so *he* couldn't go. This *sucked*.

"Fine. What time do I have to be there?"

{{A half hour after sun set.}}

Apollo glanced at his music and wondered if he could finish it before he had to go. He sighed again. Probably not.

{{Fine!}}

~

{{Gods of Aggression!}}

All over Greece and Olympus, many gods stopped what they were doing and listened to the voice of the God of War and Lord of the House of Aggression as his booming tones echoed around their heads, literally *demanding* that they focus on his call.

Athena's quill paused in mid air, hovering over a scroll as a single droll of ink splattered onto the parchment. She ignored the mess, it would be easily cleaned up later.

Eris clamped a hand over her victim's mouth, silencing his screams so that she could hear her brother better. He whimpered and struggled futility in his chains, and his blood pooled at their feet, unnoticed by the very Goddess that had spilled it.

Deimos and Phobos each popped their head up from under one of Thanatos' dark wings, instantly putting a halt to some steamy kinky sex and proving their status as twins by tilting their heads to listen in the exact same manner. Death Incarnate closed his eyes against the sight and sighed silently with irritated regret.

Callisto heard the call and shrieked in vain rage as she struggled against her Hepheastian made bonds. The deepest pits of Tartarus echoed with her cries and the Titans just laughed at her plight as they closed in once more to continue her eternal punishment for attempting to kill one of her own kind.

Hermes came to a complete stop with his one hand delicately dipped down into Morpheus' deep pocket. He ignored the startled snort of the God of Dreams and he didn't even respond to the insult he was called.

Cupid's aim wavered as the sound of his father's voice sounded in his mind. His arrow of BloodLust hit the wrong person, but the God of Love and Lust never noticed. He turned his back on the startled Warlord whose daughter suddenly turned on her fiance and stabbed him through the heart.

The Goddess of Love and Jealousy stilled her hand as it was poised to reapply her favorite lipstick to her softly pursed full lips. Drawing still, Aphrodite felt her center grow wet and hot at the very sound of her sometime lover's voice. Her only movement was the unconscious spreading of her thighs.

Hepheastus paused in the middle of hammering a glowing red piece of steel and frowned in concentration as the voice of the only person that could come close to evoking the levels of both love and hate that he felt for his wife echoed round his mind.

The young Godling who would one day take up the mantle of The God of Carnal Pleasure dropped his brightly colored wooden blocks and sat with his head tilted to the side in an eerie imitation of his Uncles; Pain and Terror. A smile broke over his cherubic features at 'G'an-paps' voice in his head.

Psyche, Goddess of Illusion and Doubt stopped moaning and stared sightlessly into the basin she had just thrown up in. All her worries about her latest pregnancy and the identity of who the father might be left her mind as her father-in-law's voice called to her.

Strife's hand grew still upon his youngest son's shoulder and he turned his head unerringly in the direction that his Uncle now stood. Joxer lifted his own head from his father's shoulder and frowned in confusion. "What?" Silently, Strife shushed him with a gentle finger to his lips.

{{Demigods aligned to the House of Aggression, hear my call!}}

Hercules stopped dead in the middle of a fight with some bandits. His eyes grew glassy and he swayed slightly on his feet. He couldn't see or hear Iolaus as the blonde hunter frantically tried to keep the desperate warriors off of his seemingly lifeless friend. He didn't know just how close he came to being brained from behind.

Xena suddenly sat up straight and stiff in Argo's saddle, Gabrielle's babbling chatter falling away from her ears as another, more powerful voice took it's rightful place in her mind. She swayed and almost toppled from her horse to the ground, but her friend and lover caught her body at the last moment.

Autolycus stopped the hurried packing that his premonition of Jett's escape from prison had prompted. Which was fine since Auto didn't know if he was planning to run *to* his lover or *from* his lover. But that became a moot point when his Uncle's voice tore through his mind.

Julius Caesar stopped in mid thrust, the woman he was raping continued to scream, but he couldn't hear her anymore, she had ceased to exist for him. All he heard was his Grandfather's call, demanding his full attention.

Jett could see the blood pouring out over his hand as it rushed from the knife wound he had made in the man's throat, but it didn't hold any fascination for him. Instead, his eyes became heavy and his ears echoed with the call from War.

Jace didn't even register the blow to the head that knocked her from the man's lap. She didn't notice him curse her name as he hurriedly pulled up his trousers and stomp out of her bedroom. She was too busy listening to Ares.

Joxer stopped trying to shake his father out of his daze and entered his own as his husband's voice echoed through his skull. Unknowingly, one of his hands reached out for Ares in the same direction that Strife was staring intently.

{{I Ares, God of War and Lord of the House of Aggression call to you. I command that you appear before me in the Halls of War an hour past the setting of the sun. I shall present before you all, my Consort, and you shall bow before him or suffer my wrath.}}

Released from the powerful grip of the War God's mind, the demigods all collapsed in a dead faint and the Gods crumpled slightly before righting themselves. Then, the curiosity hit like a hammer.

~

Strife shook himself out of his fog in time to catch Joxer as he toppled over. He prevented his son from crashing to the floor head first. Trying to be careful despite his shaking hands, the Mischief God pulled Joxer back up and into the bed he had been sleeping in earlier. He fussed for a brief moment to make certain that his boy was okay and as comfortable as possible, then he headed out of the guest bedroom in search of his Uncle.

To be honest, he was rattled badly. He had always known that Ares would have to do the whole presenting ceremony if he ever took a Consort, but it had been a dusty fact tucked away in his mind. Not really real. Until now. The excitement of the past couple hours had messed with his head severely and he hadn't even considered this facet of the equation. For the first time, Strife honestly wished that Zeus *had* grabbed Jett instead of Joxer. His eldest triplet would have withstood the pressure *much* better than his youngest.

Pulling his mind into focus wasn't easy, but he gave it a decent try when he rounded a corner and found his Uncle. Just in time to see his own Mother flash into the room.

"Holy *shit* Ares! You got *married* and I wasn't even *invited*! I'm your fucking *twin* for love of breaking mortals and I didn't even know you were in a damn *relationship*!"

Strife sighed. This was *so* not good. Mom had her panties in a twist as it was and she wasn't going to like the explanations any more than *he* had. About to speak up and explain, Strife was cut off before he even began when Ares grabbed hold of Eris by the throat and yelled into her startled face, shaking her body to punctuate his snarled words.

"I *wasn't* in a relationship, you bitch! I was *tricked* into marriage by Daddy-dearest and I *didn't* chose my Consort, so *back the fuck off*!"

Then Ares threw her across the room and she landed at Strife's feet, dazed and confused. Rolling his eyes, Strife bent down and hauled her back upright again.

"Ma, it ain't Unc's fault. Zeus didn't even *tell* 'im wha' was happenin' until it was too late. He tricked 'em *both*. Now Jox is Unc's Consort an' it's a forever gig. So, ya know...try an' chill out a bit. No one was dissin' ya here."

Eris turned and looked up into Strife's face, her dark eyes going big and wide with shock. The Mischief God had a sudden flash of what his Mom must have looked like as a small child, all dark curls and big innocent eyes.

"My sweet fluffy puppy? Married to *Ares*?"

Solemnly, Strife nodded his head. He watched as the reality of the situation sunk down into the Goddess of Discord and Conflict's head. Her once wide eyes narrowed down to slits of rage and her full soft lips twisted into a snarl.

"I'll *kill* him! I'll gut him with a big rusty knife! I'll set his beard on fire and use the ashes as *kitty-litter*!"

Both he and the WarGod could feel Eris pulling her power in and as one they jumped on her from opposite sides and wrapped their arms around her.

"Let me *go*! I've got patricide to commit!"

It was Ares' low rumbling voice that cut through her anger and rage.

"Discord, *stop*! Now! *I* am going to be the one to kill him, but if you want, I'll let you pass me the tools I'm going to torture him with first. But right now, I have *got* to put together this presentation ceremony to the House of Aggression or the other Houses won't have to officially recognize Joxer. Do you want *that* for your Grandson?"

Eris slumped down between them, defeated.

"No...but I feel like I gotta do *something* here. I mean...I mean..."

Strife silently nodded his head. He understood how she felt. This whole situation was more than just a random insult against the House of Aggression, it was aimed specifically at those who he and his mother were closest to in the entire world. Ares and the triplets.

"Look. Strife has to go get Jett and Jace so that they can come to the ceremony. I have to get both myself and Joxer ready. He's going to need to be coached for this so that the shock doesn't give him a heart-attack and he's *already* had a bad day. An invitation to any official ceremony is supposed to be delivered in person to the House of Divinity, instead of just a mental summons. I haven't done that yet. Why don't *you* do it as my Official Representative from the House of Aggression. Only you, Strife and Cupid have the status to do that, and both of *them* have demigods to prepare."

Suddenly, Discord's head whipped up, a fierce look burning in her eyes and a cruel smile on her lips.

"Why Ares, I'd be *honored* to perform that duty for you. I promise that I'll drag someone from the House of Divinity here for you...even if they are in chains and I have to pull them behind me by their hair."

Strife exchanged a brief hard smile with his Uncle for a moment and then Ares leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to the top of his Mother's head.

"Knew I could count on you, Sis."

A tingle of energy washed over Strife's body and he resisted the urge to giggle as Eris flashed away in search of her prey. He paused a moment, fidgeting back and forth from one foot to the other for a long moment and then he jerked a thumb towards the bedroom wing of the Halls of War.

"Ah...Unc? Ya gonna be okay wit' him an' all? I mean...if ya think it'll help, I'll stay around for a bit."

He watched as the WarGod considered it, but then Ares shook his head.

"No. This is something I've gotta do myself. Joxer and I have never really clashed before, despite the fact that he travels around with my wayward daughter and her irritating bard. However, we never really spent a lot of time together either. He's got to get used to being near me and the sooner, the better."

Strife nodded his head in agreement. Joxer *did* need to get used to spending time with Ares. The only real contact his boy had with the family besides Xena and his brothers was Eris, Hercules, Aphrodite and himself.

"Look, Unc. Just...be gentle wit' 'im, okay? He's convinced that ya gonna whack 'im as soon as ya done stringin' up th' Old Goat."

Ares seemed a bit startled at that, but Strife flashed out to look for Jett before he could ask any questions.

~~~~
Part 4
~~~~

Slowly, with the remnants of what felt like a stress headache fading away, Joxer slammed back into consciousness. His eyes snapped open and he was hit with a wave of disorientation. Blinking rapidly, he glanced around and realized that he was still at the Halls of War, but his father was nowhere to be found. Frantically, he scrambled up until he was perched on his knees in the middle of the big soft bed and looked around some more from this better view. Nope, the Mischief God was indeed, gone.

Joxer's pulse began to speed up as he registered the fact that he had been left alone. He was confused about Ares' announcement and a little afraid that when this whole mess was over he was going to be stuck married to a violent and angry God that resented his very presence. It didn't *matter* that it wasn't Joxer's fault, Ares would *still* need *someone* to take his frustration out on.

Trying not to slide headlong into panic again, Joxer contemplated leaving the bedroom and trying to find his Father...or even his Grandmother. He had a lot of questions and he could *really* use a friendly face right about now. However, it was possible that neither of them were even *on* Olympus right now, so...

It was at that point that Joxer heard a muttered voice from behind the bedroom door. The stone walls muffled it to the point where Joxer couldn't tell who it was or what they were saying. Hoping that it was the Mischief God, Joxer slid out of bed and walked across the expensive hand-woven Persian rug that lay on the flagstones. At the last moment, Joxer refrained from simply yanking open the door. Instead, he pressed his ear against the wood, straining his ears to listen even as he strained his "gift" to feel the emotions pouring off of the person beyond.

Normally, Joxer *hated* the fact that he was an empath. Nine times out of ten, when he stumbled or tripped it was usually because he was suddenly slammed with a strong emotion that slipped through his shaky shields and caught him off guard or because he was concentrating on using or suppressing them. However, there were times when he *did* appreciate them. And this was one of them.

On the surface, the person beyond the door felt mostly confusion and mild anxiety. A sense of uncertainty and even a fluctuating wave of protectiveness. Joxer could tell that these feelings were aimed at *him* specifically. Under those "surface" feelings was a repressed sense of anger. An almost overwhelming boiling cloud of pitch black *rage* that pounded at the being, crying for retribution and violence, screaming to be released on it's focus. And that focus was Zeus and Hera.

The muttering voice was still muffled and the words were unclear to Joxer, but the tones were not. It almost seemed like the person was pacing outside his door, giving himself a pep-talk.

Joxer knew that it wasn't his father out there. He could recognize the "texture" of the Mischief God's emotions when he felt them. However, this person *obviously* didn't wish any harm to the demigod, so he made a decision and flung open the door.

To see his "husband" standing there, his full bottom lip trapped by his white teeth as he gently nibbled on it lost in thought. Joxer's confidence melted away to nothing as his eyes met those fathomless pools of blackness that were the WarGod's eyes. Ares raised up one hand, made a vague gesture with it before bringing it up to run it through his mass of raven dark curls.

"Joxer. We...ah, we need to talk."

Mutely, Joxer nodded his head. Everything that he knew about the WarGod made him believe that he was about to be blasted into a pile of steaming sludge. But that didn't match the emotions rolling off of him and Strife *did* tell him that Ares had promised not to kill him. Mostly, Joxer was confused. And upset. And frightened.

Ares sighed and Joxer realized that he was just standing there staring up at him in terror and that *probably* wasn't what his "husband" had been hoping for. However, he had *no* clue what *was* expected of him. Then Ares gestured for Joxer to follow him out into the hall.

"Come with me. I'll try and explain what's going on while we get ready."

Joxer nodded his head again and tried to suppress the tremor that wanted to take up residence in his hands.

"Oh...Okay Ares. That...that would be good, 'cause I have *no* idea what's going on here."

Joxer stepped out into the hallway and began to follow the God who was now his husband, whether either of them would have chosen that course for their lives.

"I know you don't Joxer. Your education wasn't designed to prepare you for the intricacies of my Court. When you were born, you and your brothers were educated to be able to assist Strife and Eris with any jobs that they had but didn't require their full attention. Sort of how Xena was trained to be my Champion, assisting *me* with various jobs and as a figurehead for my army."

Joxer nodded his head in an automatic response, but then he stopped in shock as a hundred little memories suddenly took on a completely different light. All of the times he was asked to "keep an eye on someone and report their activities" and all of the times Jett had been asked to "dispose" of someone or all of the "dates" that had been set up for Jace. They had all been *jobs* for the House of Aggression.

He himself as a *spy*. His travels with Xena would allow for that, especially since his empathy would let him have a sharper and clearer idea of what the mark was planning. Jett was, and always would be, an assassin. An assassin who routinely eliminated people who had angered or offended the House of Aggression enough to warrant being visited by an actual *family member* but didn't rate the attention of a Council Member. And Jace? Jace's "gift" was the ability to seduce *anyone*. Was he the "distraction" that allowed plans to be put into motion without key players of the opposition realizing what was happening until it was too late?

Ares answered his unspoken thoughts and questions as if Joxer had said his revelations out loud.

"Now you begin to understand. You and your brothers were *born* into the House of Aggression. You belong by virtue of your *blood*, just as Xena and Autolycus does. Hercules, on the other hand was *assigned* to me by our Daddy-dearest because of his "gift" of godly strength and his innate need for dominating others. I had to decide whether Herc-i-poo turned out to be a hero or a tyrant. I chose hero and I often regret that. The sanctimonious shit."

Joxer almost stumbled into Ares' back when the WarGod stopped in front of a large black and silver door emblazoned with Ares' personal sigal. Taking a deep breath and whispering a small prayer to his Father that if Ares' blasted him to bits that he'd get a nice funeral, Joxer looked up at his husband and demanded an explanation.

"Why? I mean, why didn't anyone *tell* me all those times I was giving my "opinion" about different people to Dad and Gran, that I was *really* spying for YOU?"

Ares grimaced and he looked distinctly uncomfortable.

"Truthfully? Because you were always afraid of me. Then, after you started spending so much time with my daughter, she reinforced that idea in your mind. But for some reason you always had a soft spot for Strife and Discord and were willing to do any favor for them. And honestly, most of the time you *were* doing it for them and not me. The few times that you did it for *me*, they always insisted that you be given the chance to say no to the request. And I agreed."

The small spark of righteous indignation died away as Joxer realized that what Ares said was, in fact, true. His Dad and his Gran had *always* given him a choice to do favors for them. They never *insisted* that he talk about who he had seen or what he had felt from them. It was always up to him whether to comply or not. And he always agreed to help.

"Oh."

Ares flashed him a tight grin that didn't come even close to a smirk. Without waiting for Joxer to form a more detailed and intelligent sounding reply, he pushed open the door and led the way into the room beyond. Joxer followed and then came to a dead halt as the sheer opulence of the room hit him.

It was obviously Ares' personal suite of rooms and it was amazing. Firstly, it was a *huge* gathering room they stepped into with many others branching off from the twin corridors that stood at either end of the room. The floor was a dove gray marble with black veins running through it and the walls were of highly polished black stone. Vividly colored tapestries and wicked looking weapons hung upon the walls. The furniture was overstuffed with some material that looked soft, letting you sink into it if you sat down. It was upholstered in dark gray velvet with flecks of red and black running through it. The tables were topped with smokey mirrored glass and black wrought-iron frames. The air was scented lightly with leather, steel and...*citrus*? Joxer looked and noticed a red glass bowl of fruit sitting on one of the side tables and swallowed past the dryness in his throat and tried to push away his shock at the unexpectedness of Ares' having a *living room* where he could "relax".

Ares turned to him and chuckled deprecatingly.

"What? You thought I lived in a *shack* or something? Slept on my throne? Of *course* I have an apartment in the Halls of War. Tartarus, Joxer...I have the *biggest* one. Then again, I have a suite of rooms set aside for Eris, Hermes, Dite, Cupid and Strife. Not that they don't all have their own temples, but they each have a small set of rooms here as well. I also have a hallway full of single bedrooms that are for guests. That's where you were at before."

"Oh."

Joxer glanced around at the darkly masculine beauty of the room and shrugged.

"I didn't mean to...I don't know, offend you or anything. I guess I just never really thought about it before and it caught me off guard."

Ares looked at him for a long moment with an intense look on his face and Joxer began to squirm and fidget in a manner that strongly resembled his sire.

"Well, you'll have plenty of time to get used to it. This is your home now. I'll give you the formal tour later, but right now we have to get ready."

Ares turned and headed down a corridor and Joxer automatically followed him. About three steps later his brain replayed what Ares had just said. *This* was his home now. The tremor that he had managed to suppress hit him full force and his internal panic raised up a notch. He wondered vaguely if he was going to faint again.

Without even thinking of it, Joxer reached out with his empathy and "read" Ares' emotions again. The WarGod was filled with concern and mild anxiety that was aimed at Joxer. He couldn't tell *why*, but he figured that Ares was worried that he would somehow screw this...whatever they had to do up. However, he *was* relieved to know that the rage that rolled through the volatile God was still aimed at *Zeus* and not *him*.

They turned a corner and Ares pushed open another door. This one led to a bedroom that was as beautifully appointed as the living room had been. Joxer had a mental flash of being forced to consummate their unasked for marriage and that image created a wash of both lust and fear in him. After all, Ares *was* sexy, but Joxer was afraid that the WarGod would want it to be rough and painful and Joxer was *so* not into that type of thing.

However, Ares walked through the bedroom to a set of double doors and pulled them open. Beyond lay what was undoubtedly a dressing area. It was bigger than the kitchen at his mortal mother's stronghold and two walls held racks of various clothes, while the third was set up as a vanity. The forth held numerous shelves and hooks that were filled with accessories.

Silently, Joxer watched as Ares walked along the row of hanging clothes, muttering to himself. "...want this...don't need that...I remember this...yuck! what was I thinking?...goodbye...a keeper...nope..." Some items were passed and others flickered and disappeared. After he reached the end of the row, the WarGod put his hand on the last item and pushed them all together again. This left a fair sized space from all of the clothes that were no longer there. Then Ares turned and shrugged self-consciously.

"Lots of those things were gifts from Dite. Don't tell her I packed them up and put them away, but I'll probably *never* wear them. And now...*you* have space for the clothes I'm certain she'll inflict on *you*."

Joxer began to hyperventilate as a connection was suddenly made inside his head. When Ares had said that this was Joxer's new home, the WarGod meant his personal apartment, *not* just the Halls of War in general. However, he didn't have time to work himself into a panic attack because Ares interrupted his thoughts.

"Right now, I have to present you to the rest of the House of Aggression as my Consort. It's Olympian Law. If I don't, then no one will recognize your new titles and it'll make your life a living Tartarus and annoy the shit out of your Father, your Grandmother *and* me. It's not a big deal and you don't have to do anything but stand there and not faint. But that...armor has *got* to go."

Ares snapped his fingers and Joxer found himself naked except for his breechcloth. He squeaked in startled embarrassment and blushed a deep bright red even as he desperately tried to cover himself with his hands.

"Ares!"

The WarGod chuckled softly at his reaction and then snapped his fingers again. Joxer found that he was dressed in a long flowing silk wrap that was bright red in color with the sigal of the House of Aggression repeated all along the bottom in deep purple. He barely had time to appreciate the exquisite feel of the silk and the elegant lines of the wrap when Ares snapped his fingers again. A leather breastplate and wrist guards trimmed in red appeared on his body. He stumbled slightly as the shock and weight of it threatened to pull him off balance.

Ares just stood there with his weight on one hip as he regarded him intently.

"Hmmm, just needs a few minor touches."

Another snap of the WarGod's fingers and Joxer's boots were replaced by heavy leather sandals and a short dagger was sheathed at his waist. And a thin red enameled circlet was held out on Ares' extended hands. Solemnly, Ares placed the circlet on Joxer's head and then stepped back again.

"There. *Now* you look like the Consort of War."

Startled buy the odd look in Ares' eyes, Joxer turned away and saw himself in the floor to ceiling mirror next to Ares' vanity. He gasped in shock at the man staring back at him from the silvered glass. The change in his appearance was astounding and he wouldn't have recognized himself if he didn't know better.

"Th...thank you Ares."

The reflection of his husband smiled slightly and then Ares snapped his fingers again. In a bright flash of light, Ares changed his own clothes into that of his Official Robes. A deep purple silk wrap with a red enameled bronze breastplate and a red enameled bronze crown. His Sword of Power hung at his waist.

Joxer swallowed suddenly and turned to look at his husband in his Official Robes. This wasn't his volatile and angry Great-Uncle and Father of his best friend and favorite Cousin that he faced. This was the God of War, Lord of the House of Aggression. His new husband. Joxer felt faint and swayed alarmingly.

~

Strife arrived in the meeting room with Jett and Jace in time to see Cupid arrive with his psychotic son Julius Caesar. Almost instantly, Caesar started to leer at Jace despite the fact that Jace turned her nose up at him and leaned back against their sire. Cupid merely sighed in resignation. Jett felt no such compulsion and sidled up alongside the Roman General.

"Ya know, while I realize that Zeus' law prevents me from stickin' a knife between your ribs if you mess with Jace, they *won't* stop me from sending every single person loyal to your cause into the welcoming embrace of Hades. *Think* about that before your cock gets half the Roman Army killed in their sleep."

The two demigods growled at each other and it most likely would have come to blows, but then Aphrodite appeared with Hercules and Xena. The two heroes took in the situation with a single glance and chose sides in a heartbeat. Silently, they moved to flank Jett in his standoff against Caesar. Not being anywhere *close* to stupid, the Roman General backed down and began to practically *ooze* charm and social grace.

"Why Xena! You look as lovely as ever, my pet. Perhaps when this whole shindig is over, we can find some...quiet corner to...catch up on old times."

For half a heartbeat, the Warrior Princess swayed towards the Roman General, but then she braced herself and growled in a fair imitation of her father.

Aphrodite ignored them all and turned to face her son and his sometime lover. With a wide cheery smile and a delectable jiggle, she gestured to the room.

"Wow. Ares decorated for the event. It looks...well, dank and depressing and all this red just *screams* spilled blood. But for leather britches, this is a big improvement."

Cupid and Strife exchanged smiles and chuckles. The Goddess of Love and Jealousy was right. Ares' idea of warm and welcoming *was* a bit odd. And usually involved sharp pointy weapons, but that was besides the point. Aphrodite on the other hand, was still looking around. She noticed something, frowned and then sighed in resignation.

"It's been so long since the bonehead had demigods up here that he forgot to set a place for them. There's no room at the table and if we just let them mill around a bit there will be blood shed."

She glanced at her Grandson.

"Julie-poo has managed to piss off both Jett *and* Xena. Jacie and Joxie will fall in line with their brother and Hercie will follow Xena, so...it looks like it'll be *his* blood on the floor. We need to figure out where to stick these guys if we want to prevent that."

Strife shrugged. He didn't *really* like his lover's son and if it came to blows between Caesar and Jett, he'd be pulling for his own boy. However, he also didn't want to be banished from Cupid and Pysche's bed for the duration of time it took Cupid to get over the loss of his brat. With that thought uppermost in his mind, the Mischief God snapped his fingers. A row of low backed red chairs appeared on the stage behind the thrones of the witnessing Houses of Intellect, Divinity and Nature. He pointed.

"There. Let's assign 'em seats. We'll put Caesar on one end and tell Herc it's *his* job to keep the guy alive. Then we stick Xena and Jett at the other end of the row."

Cupid leaned over and gave Strife a deep wet kiss.

"You are a sick and twisted genius. Love you."

Strife blushed and grinned at the public display of affection. While it wasn't uncommon in the Halls of War, they normally kept it under wraps unless at Cupie and Pysche's place or his own place. Aphrodite and Cupid just chuckled at him began to organize the demigods.

For a long moment, it seemed that Jett wasn't going to cooperate, but then Hermes arrived with Autolycus and the assassin's attention was ripped away from his rival and riveted on his lover. Within moments, Xena found herself with a front row seat to the Jett and Auto tongue swap and make-out session. She tried *really* hard not to stare...she didn't *succeed* in not staring, but she *did* try.

The demigods in place, the Council of the House of Aggression began to take their seats at the conference table. Their voices rose and fell with their babble and speculation. There was a brief commotion when Psyche arrived with Bliss and promptly threw up into a hastily summoned basin, but then she cleaned herself up and settled down in her chair between her husband and their lover. Bliss ignored the whole thing as he was used to it. Instead, her flew out of his Mother's arms and directly to his Aunty Xena's arms so he could help her watch Auto and Jett try to have sex without removing their clothes first.

Apollo arrived in a flash of golden light and struck a pose to display his beauty. To his delight, Hermes leered appreciatively, as did Caesar and Jace. He had hoped to catch Psyche's eye as well, but he *did* have *some* morals and figured that as her personal physician, he should hold off on trying to seduce her until *after* she gave birth to her second child.

In twin flashes of blue light, Deimos and Phobos appeared. They both reeked of male sex and death. No one had to ask where they had been, it was obvious that they had both crawled out of Thanatos' bed to attend the meeting. Demeter arrived next, her nose wrinkling as it caught the scent waffling from Ares' youngest Godly children. Her one eyebrow rose up in an elegant arch as Pain and Terror giggled. Rolling her eyes, she turned away from them and took a seat on the sparkling green throne of the House of Nature.

Hepheastus and Athena arrived almost simultaneously. Hephy merely snickered at the boys and then limped over to sit by his wife, but Athena grimaced in distaste at them.

"You should learn to clean yourselves up after you play."

She snapped her fingers and then both Pain and Terror were clean and presentable once again. They both pouted at her. She rolled her eyes and Hephy snickered again.

All that was missing was Eris, Callisto and a representative from the House of Divinity. Everyone knew that Callisto's chair would remain empty until Ares had forgiven her for stabbing Strife with the Hind's Blood Dagger and killing him. It had cost the House of Aggression a LOT to get him back from Hades. So, that left Eris and someone from the House of Divinity.

Everyone's questions about that were answered then as Eris walked into the room through the door instead of flashing in. She was dragging a person behind her and everyone could hear the rattle of chains against the granite floor. With the entire Council craning their necks to see who Eris had with her, there was a loud communal gasp of indrawn air as everyone saw at once. Then the room fell deadly silent as everyone gaped in open mouthed astonishment.

Hera.

The Queen of the Gods was dressed in her finest formal robes. She had her crown on her head. She was also wrapped in hepheastian metal chains that included a power-negating hepheastian slave-collar. And a bright yellow gag filled her mouth and prevented her from crying out against her treatment. The Goddess of Marriage and Childbirth's face was bright red with humiliation and her eyes were narrowed in fury. Eris looked smug as she physically hauled her Mother up and dumped her unceremoniously into the pristine white throne between Apollo and Demeter.

"Sit. Stay. Good dog."

~

Ares looked over at his Consort. Joxer's face was set into lines of shock and amazement. He felt bad for the man. So many shocks and all of them were coming way too fast. He wished he could make this easier for him, but neither of them had a choice. Zeus had made sure of that.

"Joxer. Take a breath. It'll be okay."

The demigod took in a large draught of air and a small bit of color came back into his cheeks. Ares smiled what he hoped was a reassuring smile. He wasn't sure how comforting he looked though, it wasn't something he tried to do often.

Then, reaching out with one large hand, he tilted Joxer's face up to look at his.

"Are you ready?"

A long pause, then Joxer nodded minutely.

"Yeah...I think so."

~~~~
Part 5
~~~~

With a sickening lurch that Joxer was *certain* he'd never get used to, the world dissolved in a blur of color and sound. A horrifying sensation of vertigo assaulted him as the floor disappeared from under his feet and his body was gripped by forces that threatened to pull him apart. Then, with a suddenness that felt like it did when he fell over onto the ground face first, he found himself back in reality in a completely different room.

Instantly, Joxer could feel the world pressing in on his senses with a clarity that was astounding after a trip "between" and the force of the godly emotions that were literally *seething* in the room battered at his mind. He felt his face go pale and he swayed on his feet. Nausea turned his stomach and he had one panic filled moment in which he envisioned himself throwing up or passing out in front of everyone.

But than his Grandmother was there, a concerned looked etched on her face as she stood up from her chair and reached out one hand to caress his cheek.

"Jox? Baby...you okay? You don't look so good."

Turning his head towards the Goddess of Discord, he tried to talk around clenched teeth. He was fairly sure that if he opened his mouth wide that the contents of his stomach would attempt to escape.

"Sh...shields. M...my shields are a...almost gone. T...too much. It hurts."

Joxer watched as Ares and Eris shared a quick confused glance and then understanding lit up the dark Goddess' face. She waved a hand in a graceful gesture in a circle around his head and he could feel her reinforce his own shaky shields, blocking the force of everyone's raw emotions from his mind with her own powers. Joxer nearly melted in relief.

"Thank you."

Eris merely winked at him, a smirking smile on her face as she sat back down.

Joxer smiled back at her for a moment, until the lessening of his overwhelmed empathy let him take in the physical realities around him. He stood next to Ares before a set of thrones. In front of them was a large table at which a great number of his family sat. Beyond that were three other thrones and behind them were a row of chairs that held his brothers and his "cousins".

The room itself was dark dim and spooky, but it was the people that *truly* made this a frightening place. Not only was everyone here powerful and deadly, but they were either staring at *him* in shock or staring at *Ares* in anger. He had a sudden urge to shout out "It's not my fault" and then run looking for a place to hide. Especially from Hera. She was not only in chains, she was obviously pissed off about it. Joxer began to tremble.

Ares on the other hand, smirked at the Queen of Olympus in blatant amusement. He made a broad and perceivably condescending gesture.

"Well...I guess we can get stared since everyone seems to be here...with one exception."

The WarGod took in another breath to speak, but he was cut off before he even began. Understandably, it was Demeter who stood up and shouted out what was on everyone's mind.

"Ares! Why in Tartarus is my sister in *chains*? What is the meaning of this? I was under the impression that you called us here to announce your Consort, not to announce that you've decided to force the issue of your inheritance!"

A grumbling murmur picked up at her words and for a brief moment, Joxer was too caught up in worrying about Hera to register the last part of the Goddess of the Harvest's words. Then it hit him. Like a hammer between the eyes. Ares was not just the God of War and the Lord of the House of Aggression. He was also the Crown Prince of Olympus. The *Pantheon* was his inheritance! Joxer suddenly felt faint again.

Ares, however, just growled in annoyance.

"You *are* here to witness my Presentation of my Consort. And I'll be more than happy to explain why my beloved mother is in chains afterward."

Joxer distracted himself from his thoughts of keeling over on the spot by being impressed with the amount of sarcasm that his Husband could get into the word beloved.

Slowly, the grumbling died down and Demeter sat back in her chair, an uncertain look on her face. Ares cleared his throat and began again.

"First things first."

A gentle and warm hand against his back nudged Joxer forward slightly even as Ares nodded his head towards him.

"Allow me to present Joxer, son of Strife; God of Mischief. The Consort of War. As of this date, he shall take up the duties of Official Herald to the House of Aggression and he shall act as Speaker to all acknowledged Mortal Children of the Gods of Aggression. He shall reign by my side for all eternity."

Ares glared at his mother as he grasped Joxer's hand in his own and held them up so that all could see their matching rings.

"As I have acknowledged and you have witnessed, so shall it be."

For a long moment the Gods of Aggression paused to look at one another around the conference table, then as one, they all stood up and faced the duo at the head of the table and spoke out in one voice.

"Hail Joxer! Consort of War! Herald of the House of Aggression and Speaker for the Children!"

Then, each and every God tipped their heads down slightly in a formal and ritualistic acknowledgment. Joxer was too stunned and overwhelmed to do more than nod back at them. The Gods of Aggression all sat back down in their chairs and made themselves comfortable. Joxer, however, stood there and trembled violently hoping he didn't fall over on his face.

Whether it was because the ceremony was over and a pseudo meeting had begun or because the WarGod just somehow knew that he'd reached the end of his endurance was uncertain, but Joxer was relieved when Ares maneuvered him into position to sit down on the bright red throne. After all, he wasn't sure how much longer his knees would have continued working. However, when Ares himself sat down on his own throne of carved obsidian, Demeter's restraint broke.

"Okay Ares, the Presentation is over and it was witnessed. Now answer my question. Why is Hera in chains?"

Ares shrugged slightly and turned to look at Joxer's Grandmother.

"So Sis...why *is* Mommy in chains?"

Eris' smile was *not* a nice one and it caused both Joxer's Husband and his Father to break out in chuckles.

"Because I couldn't find Daddy-dearest. He was gone. All I found was this."

Eris held out her right hand palm up. A brief flash of light reviled a sheet of fine vellum parchment trimmed in pure gold. She handed it over to Ares.

"This was on Hera's dressing table. Apparently, the Old Goat went on vacation and left her to take the full blame for this mess."

This time it was Aphrodite that interrupted.

"Um...want to clue in those of us who weren't here for the opening act. What did he do this time?"

The demigods goggled slightly at the blonde Goddess, but those around the table were well versed with this serious and businesslike aspect of Aphrodite. Ares glowered at her for a moment and then transferred the weight of his stare to the Goddess of Marriage. Everyone instinctively leaned back away. The WarGod was *not* to be taken lightly when he was so obviously furious.

"It's simple. Zeus *tricked* Joxer and I into this marriage. Neither of us were given a choice. He got us drunk and then gave us the rings without explaining what they were until *after* it was too late. In fact, he even thought that Joxer was *Jett* at the time because *he* was drunk too."

Everyone except for Ares, Joxer, Eris and Strife gasped in surprise. Hera went from being red with fury to being white with shock. Even with the reinforcements of his mental shields, Joxer could feel Hera's surprise at Ares' explanation of the events. Frowning with mild confusion, Joxer turned slightly and tugged on his Husband's bronze breastplate to get his attention.

"Ares? I don't think she knew."

Ares paused just as he was about to speak, his hand going still in mid air. For a brief second, Joxer thought that he was about to be fried, but then his Husband turned and frowned at him.

"What? Who didn't know what?"

Joxer swallowed as he realized that everyone was staring at him intently. He had a brief mental vision of bricking his own mouth shut so that it didn't get him into another situation like this again. Visibly trembling with fear, he tried to explain.

"Um...Hera? I don't think she knew. About what Zeus did, I mean. She's surprised and I think that she's as much a victim of Zeus' plan as we are. I mean, he *tricked* us, but he left *her* behind to take the blame. You know?"

A blank look passed over the WarGod's face as he considered this idea and then he turned his head to study the chained and gagged Queen of Olympus with a thoughtful expression on his. One hand came up to absentmindedly rub at his chin.

"I suppose that's possible. However, I don't think we can just *ask* her. After all, she's bound to say whatever she thinks will get her out of that power-negating collar. Once that happens, we won't be able to get her by surprise again."

Ares glanced around the meeting room.

"Ideas?"

Oddly enough, considering their relationship, it was Apollo who made a suggestion.

"As the King and Queen of Olympus, both Zeus and Hera can each reach into the minds of the Gods and read their thoughts. *However*, four members of each House, working together, can *also* do this. If we got another person from the House of Divinity, we could then read Hera's mind and see if she was a part of the plan that trapped you and Joxer in this marriage against your will."

Ares stared at Apollo for a long moment as he thought this over, then he nodded his head decisively.

"So be it."

Then, the WarGod closed his eyes and tilted his head back.

"Hades, I need you to come here as a Member of the House of Divinity to assist myself, Apollo and Demeter in a case of Olympic Judgment."

Startled gasps echoed through the room and several of the Gods of Aggression paled at Ares' words. Joxer didn't understand *why* they had reacted such, but he could feel their anxiety battering at his reinforced shields. Confused, he turned to face his Grandmother.

"What's got everyone so...um, upset? Isn't this a normal thing?"

Eris shook her head, a serious expression on her face.

"No. Only Zeus, Hera and Ares have the authority to call for Olympic Judgment. If Hera is found guilty, then she can be stripped of her titles and authority for a pre-determinded length of time as punishment. She could even be made mortal."

Eris grimaced.

"That's happened to Ares before."

Joxer nodded, his mind frantically trying to keep up. This whole mess was spinning quickly out of control and he didn't know how to reign it in. Before he could try and figure out a way to try and calm down everyone, a thick black smoke rolled in across the floor followed by a shower of jet black sparkles that erupted out of thin air. Then, with a flash of light, Hades; God of the Dead, Lord of Asphodel and Supreme Ruler of the Underworld stood before Ares, a foreboding look etched onto his handsome face.

"Who is it that awaits Olympic Judgment from the Houses of Olympus?"

Ares turned to face his Uncle, his lips twisted into a scowl.

"Hera; Goddess of Marriage and Childbirth. The Queen of Olympus."

~~~~
Part 6a
~~~~

!!!!!!

Hercules was confused. While he normally didn't like his brother Ares, he found that he agreed with him on this one point. Hera should *never* have forced Joxer to marry that killer. On the other hand, Hercules wasn't too sure about Ares' belief that Zeus had anything to do with it. He was confident that once they wrested the truth out of Hera's mind, that they would find that Zeus was innocent. He was probably tricked into doing it by his evil wife.

They would see.

Oddly enough to his way of thinking, it wasn't just Ares and Discord who thought that Zeus could be behind this. In fact, not one of the Gods had even *tried* to defend his father and that cut him to the quick. Even the Gods, as selfish and greedy as they were, should be able to see through Ares' lies. Right?

Still, Hercules was able to stand it only because the truth would soon be revealed and then everyone would be shown *exactly* how evil Hera was. They would see that it was *her* and not his father who was behind this wrong doing. Zeus would be exonerated and then he would make sure that everyone apologized for their lack of faith in his father.

Hercules was pulled out of his thoughts when Ares led Apollo, Demeter and Hades over to where Hera was chained up on her throne. He watched as the four Gods stood around her in a circle and clasped hands. They pulled their power together and focused it on one single goal. Reading Hera's mind. A glow of bright white light began to form inside of the circle they formed and all four of them closed their eyes as the Queen of Olympus began to tremble and jerk in her bonds.

Hercules smirked. He hoped it was painful for her.

!!!!!!

As Ares, Apollo, Demeter and Hades slid into a sort of trace, Xena yanked her eyes away from them and glanced around the room. Every eye was glued to the drama in front of them, but Xena had some important questions and she wanted them answered right away.

Standing up, she bent down and yanked a button off of her chair's cushion and flicked it with precise aim at Aphrodite. The bright red button flipped through the air and landed with a *ping* and a bounce on the table right in front of the Goddess of Love and Jealousy. A slight frown creasing her lovely face, Dite looked up and around. When Xena caught her eyes, the Warrior Princess waved her over.

Standing up, Dite squeezed Hepheastus' shoulder briefly in passing and then sashayed across the room until she was standing next to Xena, but angled to still see Hera and her self appointed judges. With one hand on her pink clad hip and her cleavage trying to escape the confines of her dress, the blonde Goddess leaned over to whisper in Xena's ear.

"What? This *soooo* totally better be important to interrupt *this*."

Xena rolled her eyes, but with the exception of Joxer and Hercules, her Aunt Aphrodite and her half-brother Cupid were the family members she liked the best. Dite and Cupid might both be flighty, but they had never *really* done anything *too* bad to her and her friends.

"I'm just worried about Joxer. I mean, what are these duties that he has to do now? It's nothing that can hurt him, right?"

Aphrodite pulled her eyes away from the drama long enough to flash Xena an understanding and reassuring look.

"Oh, don't worry about Joxie. He'll be fine once he adjusts. The Herald thingy? That's simple and easy. All that intales is the public reading of any announcements that the House of Aggression needs made. We all just usually take turns with that. And there are some things that only people from Ares and Eris' line can announce, but now Joxie can too. Things like judgment rulings, invitations to gatherings. Things like that."

Xena nodded, feeling a little better.

"What about those other things, though?"

Dite frowned slightly.

"Well, Speaker is just that. The Speaker sits in council meetings, but they can act as an advocate for any problem, petition or concern that one of the demigod children aligned to the House of Aggression might have. Normally, they just go to their parents and hope that they resolve it, but now they can have Joxer be their advocate too. So, that's one job that I'm sure Ares is glad will be taken from Zeus...at least in regard to Hercules. Herc causes more problems than he solves and Ares is always caught in the middle since Zeus always orders Ares to do what needs to be done anyway and then lets Herc think that Ares disobeyed an order *not* to do it. It's a huge mess. And as for the duties of "Consort", it's basically what you think it is."

Xena frowned in a way that was fairly reminiscent of her father.

"Wait a minute. Doesn't Olympian Law state that a Consort *must* give their spouse two children?"

Aphrodite nodded her head in confusion.

"Yeah. So?"

Xena gave her a look that spoke volumes.

"So Joxer isn't exactly plumbed for childbirth."

The Goddess of Love and Jealously shrugged her shoulders and almost evicted her breasts from her dress with the movement.

"True, but your father *is*. And even if fun-buns isn't willing to bare any ankle-bitters there are plenty of Goddesses around that would. Not many of the girls *like* Ares, but having another tie to the Crown Prince never hurt anyone. I mean, Cupie is Ares' heir and that won't change, but still, they would still be considered Ares' step-kids, ya know?"

Xena considered that for a moment.

"That's...weird."

Aphrodite shrugged again.

"What about Hera? What'll happen if she's found guilty?"

This time, the blonde Goddess *did* look worried and that bothered Xena more than she cared to admit.

"If Hera is found guilty and stripped of her power then that would leave Ares as Prince Regent until Zeus came back from where-ever he went. In fact, even if Hera is innocent and they can prove that Zeus is guilty and he doesn't show up to defend himself, then they can declare his "vacation" as abdication of the Throne. But that probably won't happen. That would take a unanimous vote of the Twelve and then an acknowledgment of all four Houses."

Xena looked stunned. It had never occurred to her that Ares could end up ruling all of Olympus. She wasn't sure how to feel about that. She settled on a mix of fierce pride and chilling fear.

"Oh."

!!!!!!

She flinched back in her chair when the bright white light wrapped around Hera suddenly shifted to bright blue and then exploded into shards of gleaming energy that dissolved in mid-flight. For a long second, Jace thought that the four judges were all going to crumple to the ground in a faint, but after a wobbly moment or two they seemed to grab a hold of themselves and straighten up.

Ares walked back over to his throne and turned to face the breathlessly waiting audience. He looked tired and somehow older, but despite the strain on him, his voice was clear and loud when he spoke.

"I, Ares; Crown Prince of Olympus and Lord of the House of Aggression pronounce Hera; Queen of Olympus *innocent* of all charges brought against her."

Everyone gasped in shock at this. Jace noticed that Hercules in particular looked a bit pale.

"Furthermore, it seems that she was also a victim of Zeus' mechanisms. She was not only *lied* to by Zeus about my marriage, she was left to take the blame with Zeus leaving explicit instructions for all problems to be laid at *her* feet."

Then Ares turned to face Eris.

"Take the power-negating collar off of her Sis. She didn't do it, but "Daddy-dearest" made damn sure that we would point our fingers at her. In fact, I am wondering who he hoped would win the confrontation he *had* to know would happen. Did he hope that *we* would kill his wife or that his *wife* would kill us?"

Discord stood up and walked over to Hera, a frown of mistrust on her face.

"She still might, 'Res. You sure about this?"

The WarGod looked pained and winced.

"Yeah. I'll take personal responsibility for everything. Don't worry about it."

Jace wasn't sure what that meant, but Eris looked relieved even as Aphrodite and Cupid both glared at Jace's Grandmother. There was a bi-play there that Jace didn't understand, but the Council Members *did*. She got the distinct impression that she wouldn't *want* to know. She was just worried about Eris and Jox. Hopefully Hera wouldn't take her anger out on them.

Almost absently she watched as her Grandmother undid the Queen's chains and removed the collar and gag. Almost instantly, Hera jumped up from her chair and glared at Ares with an angry expression on her face. Eris ducked and everyone braced themselves.

"I can't *believe* that you all thought that *I* could *ever* do such a horrid thing! And to my own *child*!"

Everyone stared at Hera goggle-eyed, but only Apollo had the balls to voice what everyone was thinking. He started off by giving vent to an inelegant snort of derision.

"Oh *please*! Save it for your Priestesses. *No one* believes you wouldn't scheme against *anyone* here if it would benefit you. And besides, *no one* gives a shit about *any* members of the House of Aggression. Oh sure, we all try to follow the correct forms and the rules, but that's more to keep Zeus off of our backs than anything else. Let's face it, the members of the House of Aggression are only *tools*, to be used when needed and discarded when you're done with them. That's *all*."

Hera had the grace to blush and Demeter looked away. Ares looked stone-faced and no one refuted his words as false, but Jace didn't really notice any of that. She was too busy having her heart torn to shreds as her *lover*, the one she adored the most in all the world, ripped apart her beloved family with his harsh and cruel words. Suddenly, she realized that Apollo never loved her, that he had just used her as a warm and willing body to spend his passions. She felt cheap and tawdry.

With a low cry of anguish, she leapt up from her chair and ran from the room, tears streaming down her face. She was so distraught that she didn't notice her Aunt Aphrodite jump up and run after her even as her Sire and Grandmother advanced on the Sun God.

~
Part 6b
~

!!!!!!

Soon after the Sun God had left due to his fear of both Mischief and Discord getting creative with his various bodily organs, the WarGod cleared his throat loudly in a blatant attempt to capture everyone's attention. It didn't work. Everyone was too busy gathering in small groups to gossip and chat about what had happened.

Speculation on what Hera was going to do to avenge her public humiliation battled with speculation on what Ares was going to do to Zeus. People tried to guess where the King of Olympus was hiding and people tried to guess how Joxer was going to adjust to being married to War. And everyone was wondering what Eris and Strife were going to do to Apollo.

Finally, Ares just sighed in exasperation and drew his sword. All sound came to a halt and the instant silence echoed in the room. As one, everyone turned to face him, a few looking more than a tiny bit frightened.

"If you will all move into the main throne room, I will provide refreshments. You can gossip there if you'd like."

Once again, the low murmur of voices rose up and everyone began to make their way through the Halls of War towards Ares' main throne room. The hallways and corridors were scrupulously neat and bore signs of scrubbing and polishing, but they were dark and foreboding, nonetheless. However, the throne room itself was decorated for the celebration. It *almost* looked festive.

The room itself was huge, with Ares' large carved obsidian throne up on a low dais at the far end. The walls were polished black stone, but they were softened by the yards of deep red velvet emblazoned with shiny purple sigals and symbols. Caesar could recognize most of them. Ares' personal standard hung behind his throne and the sigal for the House of Aggression hung at the other end of the throne room over the door. The ones along the walls were more obscure and the Roman General figured that those symbols were specific to particular peoples or city-states.

Three large banquet tables were set up in a row along one side of the room. Bowls of fresh fruit and steaming vegetables gave way to platers of roast mutton, lamb and fowl. Heaps of pastries and candied nuts sat in fancy clusters next to large crystal bowl of bright pink punch. Everything looked and smelled delicious.

Small round tables set with several chairs around them were placed close to the buffet tables, but left enough room for people to easily glide around without feeling cramped for space. Candles scattered about on the tables and along the walls gave everything a soft and intimate atmosphere.

Julius Caesar watched quietly as the Gods of the House of Aggression and the various demigods filled up plates at the buffet tables and then sat in small intimate groups chattering away with each other. Some were aloof and ultra controlled, others were bubbly and outgoing. Some were obviously feared while others were not. Each was as unique as a snowflake in the midst of a blizzard, yet in his mind, he could reduce them all to two separate common denominators. They represented *power* and they were all Greek.

He himself was the only one here who was Roman.

Granted, his father was the Greek God of Love and Lust, but his mother had been the daughter of a Roman Senator and as such, he had been raised as a Roman. He was a Roman General and someday he would become Emperor. He was a Roman...and half of his family was the Greek Pantheon of Gods.

That was a dilemma for him. He wanted to destroy Greece. Greece was one of the stronger enemies of his beloved Rome. However, to destroy Greece was to invite the destruction of his family and that was not an acceptable loss. He *needed* to find a way to resolve that problem so that he could carry out his plans to overthrow the Grecian people.

The question was, how could *this* event be turned to his favor?

!!!!!!

"Is that any good? In fact, what in Tartarus *is* that?"

Auto looked over at his father's plate and pointed at the baked casserole thing with the olives in it, even as an exquisitely made silver fork found it's way into an inner pocket of his green vest. Hermes glanced down at where Autolycus was pointing, a frown on his face.

"You know, I'm not sure? I've never had it before..."

A spice pot disappeared from the buffet table and reappeared in the God of Thieves' robe pocket. He shrugged and grinned at his demigod son.

"Smells good, though."

Auto peered at it for a moment, then shrugged his own shoulders. He scooped up some of the good smelling mystery food and put it on his own plate. Then he followed it up with a steaming slice of roast duck swimming in some sort of sweet sauce.

Glancing over his shoulder, the King of Thieves spotted Joxer seated at the first of the small round tables, an untouched plate in front of him and the Goddess of Discord sitting next to him, whispering softly in his ear. In Auto's opinion, his friend didn't look so good. His normally pale skin looked almost ashen and his eyes reflected a deep shock. Turning back to his father, Auto pointed out what had caught his eye.

"What do you think about that? I mean, is Joxer going to be safe with Ares? After all, the God of War doesn't exactly have the reputation for being soft and fluffy, you know?"

Hermes patted Auto reassuringly on the shoulder even as he swiped his son's money pouch.

"Physically, your friend couldn't be safer. Ares would never do anything against his Consort, even though he wouldn't have chosen Joxer for himself. That's just not his style. Tartarus, even if Joxer ends up pissing Ares off to the point where he can't see straight, he *still* wouldn't do anything dangerous to the kid. He'd take it out on his mortal warriors, yes...but not Joxer."

Auto squinted as he considered that. It was reassuring in a way. At least he didn't have to worry about Joxer being beaten on a regular basis or anything. But still...

"You said *physically*. What about emotionally? How is that..."

Auto never got to finish his thought. At that moment, his lover Jett wandered over, grabbed the plate of food out of his hands and thrust it at Hermes. As soon as the God of Thieves grabbed it, Jett began to pull him away.

"Come on, come on... I've found this nice quiet out of the way place..."

!!!!!!

Hercules sat at his small round table staring sightlessly at his plate of food, a frown of confusion and frustration on his face. Xena sat next to him, just as quietly as him, but for other reasons. She kept staring intently towards the front of the room were Joxer sat with Eris, Strife, Aphrodite and Ares. While that was interesting, Hercules had much more important things on his mind.

He was in a state of shock. He couldn't *believe* that anyone had accepted that farce of a trial, and yet everyone *had*. They all acted as if what Ares had pronounced had been the bald truth. Not even Hades, Demeter or Apollo had disagreed. Demeter and Hades he could *almost* understand. After all, Hera *was* their sister and perhaps they felt the need to defend her, but what about Apollo? He had *no* ties to her and had, in fact, condemned her despite Ares' claim of her innocence.

When Demeter had the gall to sit down at the table with him and Xena, he pointedly ignored her and continued to stare at his plate of food. Instead of exchanging banal pleasantries, Hercules contemplated the fact that everyone seemed to think that Zeus taking a vacation was reason to assume his guilt. Didn't anyone believe that his father might *deserve* a break? Some time away from all of the petty bickering and backstabbing? Everyone's willingness to think the worse of Zeus made him feel somehow betrayed and angered.

Hercules turned away from his plate and he gently tapped Xena on the shoulder. When she turned to look at him, he tried to express his thoughts to her in the expectation that she would agree with him.

"This whole situation is a huge mess."

Xena winced and nodded her head.

"I completely agree. Unfortunately, I have no idea if it can even be undone, but my guess is that it can't. That won't stop me from being there for him when he needs me, though."

Hercules smiled. It was nice to know that he had support in this.

"I know. I mean, I just don't understand how everyone can just *assume* that Zeus is guilty. That's absurd. It's fairly *obvious* that this is all some evil trick of Hera's just to get back at my father. She's just being jealous and spiteful like the bitch she is."

Xena gaped at him and Demeter goggled at him from across the small table.

"Hercules! I can't believe that's what has you all worked up! *That's* not the point here. The *point* is that *Joxer* is married to *Ares*. Against their will!"

The People's Hero sputtered in shock as his mind struggled to shift gears in mid rant.

"But, but... Hera! And... and *Zeus*! That ridicules excuse for a *trial*!"

Xena threw down her napkin and stood up. She leaned over and glared at him dangerously. Her voice was a snarling growl.

"Oh get *over* yourself."

Then, she turned and stomped off into the crowd of Gods and demigods. Hercules just sat there, his jaw opening and closing like a fish, but no words came out of his mouth. Fingers snapped imperiously at the side of his head, snagging his attention instantly. He swiveled his head around on his neck to see the Goddess of the Harvest looking at him with utter disgust and contempt.

"Hercules, *grow up*! You have *no* idea of what your father is *really* like. You only know what he *tells* you and you always refuse to listen to *anyone* else. You have been *lied* to by that old goat your entire life and it's time *someone* set you straight. Go. Visit the Halls of Time while you are here on Olympus. *See* the truth as it plays out before your own eyes. I'll take you there myself if you need help in finding it or using it. After all, you *need* to be educated to the *true* realities of what life is like with that...that...*pig* of a man in charge."

Lecture finished, Demeter also threw down her napkin and stormed away from the table. Hercules was left alone, goggling at the two women, uncertain *what* to think.

~
Part 6c
~

TITLE: Husband 6c
AUTHOR: Scorpio
ARCHIVE: The Nesting Place, AJCS, JLA, Joxerotica, The Den, CKoS and Sentinel Cat.
FANDOM: Xena:WP
PAIRING: Ares/Joxer
RATING: R
CATEGORY: drama
DEDICATION: To William Shakespeare; who inspired Psyche's story that she told to Xena about Strife's birth. All hail The Bard!
DISCLAIMER: If I owned the show, it wouldn't have been classified as fine family fun. I don't though, so blame all niceness and wholesomeness on Ren Pics and Flat Earth Prod.
SUMMARY: More of what you saw in parts 6a and 6b... The reception party continues.


~~~~
Part 6c
~~~~

!!!!!!

Hera stood back in one of the dimmer and least populated corners of the Halls of War. Glowering and muttering to herself under her breath, the Goddess of Marriage and Childbirth tried to straighten out her robes and push her snarled and tangled hair into some semblance of order. Discord had created a large and painful matted mess of it while she had unceremoniously dragged her through the corridors leading up to the room where Ares planned to make his announcement.

Once again, a wave of burning humiliation and shame swept over her at the thought of the treatment that she had received at the hands of her own daughter. Her cheeks flamed at the mental image she had of herself wrapped in chains and wearing a collar like some common mortal criminal. Trembling with suppressed emotion, she knew that it would be a long time until she could look everyone in the eye without feeling as if they were all snickering up their sleeves at her. Again.

And just as with every other painful and humiliating defeat that she had ever suffered, this one could be traced back to Zeus. Just the sound of his name ringing through her own mind made her clench her teeth and seethe with a churning rage and hate. Once again, he had twisted events to hurt her and her children for his own amusement. And once again, he had arranged things so that she seemed to be at fault.

He *lied* to her. That whole scene with the rings was nothing more than a setup. He had claimed to want to help fix her broken relationship with Ares and she, the fool that she was, had believed him. When would she ever learn? Maybe it was because he so rarely seemed angry or upset? He just sort of drifted along in a haze of lazy contentment and it was so hard to realize that he was scheming behind those soft sleepy blue eyes. Until of course, things started to explode around her. Then she would find to her surprise that he had set her up for another breathtaking fall from grace once again.

She didn't even like him, so why did she always find herself trusting him? She wasn't sure. However, she was sure that she couldn't stand him. In fact, she hated him with a deep darkness that was almost frightening. And if anyone didn't believe that, her children were living proof. Unlike mortals, a God's parentage had a lot to do with their personality and abilities. She had four children; three that were conceived from his seed and one that she became pregnant with from an excess of energy from the mortal realm. Demeter became pregnant with Persephone at the same time. Hebe, the child she had without Zeus was sweet and light, a joyous being of happiness and compassion. The twins, Ares and Eris, as well as thier younger brother Hephestus were all dark and suspicious. The twins were filled with hate and violence, much like their conception, and Hephestus was so shy and introverted that he actually tended to shun most of the other Gods. That Hebe was so different from the others spoke volumes of how Hera and Zeus felt about each other, didn't it?

Of course, this line of thinking just served to depress her. Giving up on her dress and hair, Hera looked out over the throng of Gods and demigods mingling around the main hall. People gathered in small groups to chat and gossip. Some fluttered about from one group to another, while others were more stationary, yet all of them seemed to get along well enough. Which, wasn't something that one would expect with this gathering, but it was true. And as much as it hurt to admit, she knew that she wouldn't be welcomed among them.

Sighing, she allowed herself a tinge of self-pity at the realization that no one had seemed shocked or disturbed at the thought that she would *want* to hurt any of her children. Everyone had seemed to think that it was a very real possibility. Even to the point where Eris hadn't thought to ask, she had merely ambushed her and slapped her in chains first, so sure that she was guilty. And that cut her to her core. Granted, she wasn't the best Mom ever, but she *did* love her children.

Okay, she was willing to admit that sometimes *some* of her schemes had ended up hurting one of her kids. But they were *never* the target of her ire. Those schemes usually were aimed at Zeus or one of Zeus' bastard half-breed children, not her *own* babies. If Ares or Eris or Heph got hurt by the fallout, then it was just a side effect, not the *goal* of the scheme. Didn't that count for something?

Apparently not. Ares and Eris had automatically assumed that she had deliberately bound Ares and Joxer in an eternal marriage against their will for...what reason? Her own amusement? To hurt them? To insult them by removing their free will? She didn't know why they thought she would do it, but they did. And that was a painful thing to realize. Her children didn't trust her. They didn't like her. And they were willing to think the worst of her whenever one of them was hurt.

Sighing, Hera slumped back against the cold stone wall and finally admitted some hard truths to herself. She was the Goddess of Marriage and Childbirth, but she wasn't a very good mother. She was far too caught up in her endless trials of hurt and be-hurt with Zeus to see anything else. Hestia; Goddess of Hearth and Home had no kids of her own, yet she was a much more motherly type of person than she herself would ever be. Maybe it was time that she went to visit her sister and sat down to have a real heart to heart? Perhaps Hestia would be able to see past all of the pain and hurt and insult to the core of the problem underneath. After all, she hadn't realized until now just how badly her children thought of her. This was more than just a little tiff and she had no idea what to do about it.

In a small shower of silvery-gold sparkles, Hera disappeared from the Halls of War.

!!!!!!

Following the faint trail of heartbreak and misery, Aphrodite glided soundlessly through Ares' Olympian fortress on silken slipper clad feet. Stopping just outside of one wooden door at the end of the hallway that held the guest sleeping chambers, Dite pressed her ear up against the door and shamelessly eavesdropped. Sniffling sounds and choked back sobs were muffled by the thick wood, but that didn't matter. It was all the confirmation she needed to know that she'd found the correct door.

Pushing it open, Dite stepped inside only to realize that the room was a bathing chamber. Tiled completely in blue ceramic squares with a white porcelain sunken tub and several white porcelain bowls filled with crystal clear water sitting about on a long blue tiled table, the room was light and airy. Several ferns sat in glazed pots in the corners and a stack of fluffy white towels stood waiting on a stand by the tub. Everything sparkled and gleamed brightly. Of course, the acoustics in the room were excellent so that meant that the sobs and cries pouring forth from Jace were echoing back from every corner. Aphrodite winced.

Hurrying over to the young demigod that was one of her best workers, the Goddess of Love and Jealousy patted her back with one hand while materializing a silk handkerchief in the other. Dite handed the embroidered scrap of silk over to Jace and cooed at her.

"Oh, Aunt Dite! How could he?!"

Dite wrapped one arm about Jace's shoulders and gave a slight hug before rubbing her arm soothingly.

"How could he what, sweetie?"

Jace stopped crying long enough to look up at her. Even through the pain and anguish on her face, their was a smoldering anger beneath that spoke of retribution once she had pulled herself together again. It was an instant reminder that this demigod was directly descended from Strife and Eris.

"Apollo! How could he say tha' we're all tools?! Ta be used an' then jus' thrown away like trash!"

Aphrodite gave Jace another one handed hug even as she sent evil thoughts in the direction of her rude and arrogant brother for his insensitive and thoughtless words. Then, she took back the handkerchief and began to wipe gently at Jace's eyes.

"Oh, honey, that's just how Apollo is. I mean, he's like a *huge* intellect, right? It wouldn't be far off the mark if you said that he was the smartest of all of the Gods. However, there is a big difference between being smart and being wise. Athena, for all of her standoffish ways, is very wise, but she's not too smart. Although she would probably argue that opinion, but it's true. Athena never had an original thought violate her mind and Apollo is forever thinking up new stuff. On the other hand, if you were to dump Athena in the mortal world with no powers and then do the same to Apollo, Athena would come out of it smelling like roses and Apollo would probably find a way to get himself killed during the first day."

Jace giggled softly. It wasn't a very happy sounding giggle, but it was a start. Encouraged, Dite continued.

"What's more, for all his intelligence and responsibilities, Apollo is just an overgrown boy. He grew into adulthood in the time it takes the earth to revolve on it's axis once. That's one day and one night. That's *it*. And he's so smart that it's always been so easy for him to learn something new or to pick up the skills he's needed. Plus, being one of Daddy's favorites, he's never really had to face any type of obstacles. He's never suffered, never been challenged and he's never ever been forced to grow up."

Jace's nose wrinkled up cutely and Dite could feel the confusion just roll off of the demigod.

"Look, sweetie, it isn't that hard of a concept to grasp although Apollo would never believe it. Why? Because he's never experienced it. When a person faces adversity, be they God or mortal, it forces them to grow, to adapt and to deal with things that they would never have had to if the suffering wasn't there. Mortals do it all the time. It's called growing up. They get sick, they fall down and scrap their knees, they have to clean their room, hunt down or grow their own food, freeze in the winter and swelter in the heat of summer. Other people steal their money, break their stuff and lie to them. It doesn't end once the mortal is an adult, but the adults deal with it a lot better than the children. Why? Because they've learned *how* to deal with it."

Jace grew very still for a long moment and then she looked up at Dite. A glimmer of understanding shimmered in her eyes.

"And Apollo doesn't know how to deal with adversity? Because he's never had to?"

Dite squeezed the demigod's shoulder and flashed her a brilliant smile.

"Yes. That's also why he's so hard on the House of Aggression. Everyone in the House of Aggression *has* to understand adversity and pain and trauma and stuff. We couldn't do our jobs if we didn't. He has no idea what we feel or why we do what we do. He doesn't have the emotional development to truly understand us. And if you peel away the emotional motivations for what we do and just look at our actions from an intellectual standpoint? We probably *do* look like tools or idiots or whatnot."

Jace nodded her head slightly and grew quiet for a long moment. Aphrodite could feel that she had calmed down a bit, even though the hurt was still there underneath. However, the razor's edge of that pain had been dulled and that's what Dite had wanted to do. She couldn't have poor Jace cutting herself on her own broken heart with every breath she took. Finally, Jace looked back up and offered a wobbly smile at Dite.

"So...what you're saying is that Apollo is a big shiny dork and I should just forget about him?"

Dite chuckled.

"Yeah. That's about it. Don't worry, though, I promise that someday, you'll find the perfect man for you. Perhaps he's just waiting for the proper time to start courting you?"

Jace's smile grew more solid and real.

"You think?"

Dite nodded and gave her another squeeze even as she thought of her little winged Grandson who would one day be the God of Carnal Pleasure.

"Yeah, I definitely think so."

!!!!!!

Stomping her feet loudly and scowling in a manner reminiscent of her father, Xena wasn't sure where she thought she was going, only that she wanted to put distance between herself and Hercules. She had always liked and admired her demigod uncle even if she found him to be just a touch on the self-righteous side. However, that had never really bothered her before. Usually they didn't spend a whole lot of time together and when they did they were most often fighting on the same side, so it didn't matter. But now? Now she was so angry with him that she had to remove herself from his side before she slapped him silly.

She could understand that he had complex feelings about his father. After all, her relationship with Ares was so convoluted that she was never sure if she thought of him as "father" or "enemy". She loved him and she hated him. She was proud of some of the things that he did and stood for and she was ashamed and frightened by some of the others to the point where she willing risked her life to thwart him. So, yeah, she could see how Hercules would be upset about his father's role in this mess, but she felt that Zeus' betrayal and smug arrogance in twisting Ares' life around to his whims was far down on the scale of things to worry about. There was Joxer to consider.

Despite his innate clumsiness and his preference for loud, bawdy and somewhat annoying songs; Joxer was her favorite relative and one of her best friends. He was courageous, loyal, compassionate and tender hearted. He was also completely unsuited to spend the rest of eternity embroiled in the War God's Court. It was all she could do to stop herself from grabbing him and making a run for it. Only the fact that there was literally no where that she could hide him from her father that prevented her from trying.

Feeling an ulcer start to form in the pit of her stomach, Xena figured that it was time to distract herself. Looking around, she realized that she was standing behind Psyche and Hephestus. The two shy Gods were chatting softly to each other even as Psyche was eating off of a plate that contained pastries, olives and some sort of cream. Xena shuddered at the combination even as she shamelessly eavesdropped.

"So, when is your next appointment? Will we be able to get any sort of information?"

Psyche shrugged elegantly and hurriedly finished chewing and swallowed loudly.

"Next week and I'm not sure. To be honest, I'm not really looking forward to it."

Heph gave her an incredulous look and Psyche blushed daintily.

"Well, I'm not. I mean, I know that it's Apollo's job to handle all divine pregnancies along with Hera, but I'd feel much more comfortable with Asceliptos as my physician instead. After all, Ace doesn't hit on me at every checkup, you know? And I *so* don't plan on sleeping with Apollo, so he just comes across as crass."

Xena startled at that bit of news and bumped into Hephestus. The large God shifted painfully and exposed Xena's slack-jawed shock to Psyche. Trying to pull herself together and not look like such an idiot, Xena offered up a small smile and nodded at the quiet blonde Goddess.

"Um...Congratulations to you and Cupid. On the baby, I mean."

Psyche beamed at her with a truly happy smile even as she reached down to rub at her still flat stomach.

"Thank you. Although, it's still too early to tell if the baby is Cupid's."

Xena bit down on her bottom lip to keep her jaw from dropping like a stone once more, but she was sure that her eyes couldn't get any wider. The shocks just kept coming today and she wasn't sure how many more she could take before she ran off in a random direction screaming profanities at the top of her lungs. However, it was Hephestus who added to her emotional baggage by explaining what Psyche had just told her.

"Oh yeah, the betting pools are getting a workout with this one. I myself put down money that the baby's father is my own little mischief maker. He's a good boy and ever since he's gotten himself involved in this little love triangle with Cupid and Psyche here, he's seemed to have calmed down a bit. Matured. You know?"

Xena nodded her head even though she really truly didn't know. Nor did she want to. She was just concentrating really really hard on *not* getting a mental image of Cupid, Psyche and Strife all sleeping together...or worse yet, playing together in the same bed. She didn't think she could stomach it and throwing up your dinner onto the shoes of a God was probably a bad thing to do.

Then Aphrodite came out of a side corridor with one arm wrapped protectively around Joxer's brother Jace and called Hephestus away. The large quiet God nodded to both she and Psyche before limping slowly away to find out what his wife wanted. While Xena didn't mind talking with Psyche, she didn't want to discuss the Goddess' love life in detail, so Xena frantically searched for a change of subject that wouldn't seem rude. Mentally replaying the conversation, she latched onto the one point of Hephestus' comment that wasn't giving her the shivers.

"Um...what did Heph mean by saying *my* mischief maker? That's pretty possessive of him."

Psyche's eyes lit up at the chance to gossip. She was a sweet girl and a little shy, but she didn't have a whole lot of girlfriends here on Olympus. Eris and Aphrodite were more like her In-laws and her superiors and the Muses were okay, but they only wanted to dish on Apollo. Ugh. Technically, she and Xena were Sister-In-Laws but they rarely ever saw each other. Wondering if she was going to regret this, Xena followed as Psyche squealed happily and pulled her over to an empty small round table. Once they were both sitting down, Psyche leaned over the table at Xena and whispered, not so softly, about this juicy bit of news.

"Okay, you know that Strife was born shortly after Cupid was, right?"

Xena nodded her head. She knew they were very close in age and that Strife didn't have a father. At least, that's what she always thought.

"Well, to celebrate Cupid's birth, Aphrodite and Ares made plans to work together to build up a bunch of energy that Cupid could soak in to grow healthy and strong. See, they didn't know which nature that he would follow; Love or War. To find out and to insure that their plan helped either way they had to create a large fight *and* a big romantic scene in the mortal world."

Xena nodded her head. That made sense, especially if they hadn't known if Cupid would take after his Mom or their Dad. It was a sound strategy.

"So, they found two wealthy and strong clans who had this long history of blood feuds between them. I'm talking complete rivals for; land, money, water, followers, the works. Then Aphrodite made the daughter of one clan and the son of the other clan fall in love. Big time, swooning, flowery, I-can't-live-without-you type love."

"Oh no."

Xena could see where this was going. Psyche just grinned harder and nodded before continuing.

"Oh, yes. And she encouraged the boy's friends and young cousins to be sympathetic and supportive even as she encouraged the girl's friends and young cousins to want to help and get them together. They wrote each other sappy love poems and delivered little gifts to each other. It was so sweet and romantic."

"And what did Ares do?"

Psyche giggled and Xena frowned.

"Ares stirred up the parents, made them all angry and growly and start threatening open warfare between the clans. A guard was killed here, a spy hung there, and the people in the villages between the two clans began quietly girding for a battle to be joined soon."

Xena moaned and considered burying her head in her hands but she figured it wouldn't help. After all, this was the past and she couldn't change it.

"Eventually the boy and the girl decided to fake their deaths so that they could sneak away and get married. That plan worked, of course, but their fake deaths also triggered the barely contained violence into a full fledged blood war between the clans."

Xena was aghast at the ruthlessness of Ares and Aphrodite. Psyche seemed to take the violent deaths of a bunch of mortals much more in stride, but then again, it was all for the sake of her husband.

"Anyway, the upshot of this was two fold. The boy and the girl married and eventually paved the way for King Iphicles of Corinth to be born. His father was a direct descendant of those two star-crossed lovers. The other, and more immediate response was that Eris received all of the war-type energy since Cupid ended up being a Love God. All of that excessive energy that built up in Eris resulted in her self-reproducing."

Psyche smiled and patted her tummy fondly even as her tone of voice became less gossipy and more lectureish.

"Spontaneous pregnancy isn't like the kind of pregnancy that I'm having. Me and the baby are two separate beings and always have been. With a spontaneous pregnancy, the connection between parent and child is so absolute that they are technically one being until an outside force separates them. And it *must* be done or they both end up in a lot of pain."

Here Psyche just shrugged and Xena found herself oddly fascinated by this tale.

"You know that Hephestus can't have children. Not in the normal way. Well, because of that fact and because he's got such an amazing talent for creating, he usually ends up being the God asked to separate a parent and child of a spontaneous pregnancy into two individual beings."

A memory seemed to spark somewhere in Xena's mind. Something that she had heard long ago.

"Hey! Didn't he chop open Zeus' head with an axe to let Athena be born or something?"

Psyche smiled widely and bounced in her chair.

"Yes! Exactly! He also used the energy and power of his Godhood to allow Hebe and Strife to be born. Legally, he's considered the 'other parent' of all three of them, although Hebe considers him more of a brother and Athena choses to ignore him. Strife though, he and Hephy have a pretty good father/son relationship."

Xena goggled at the blonde Goddess.

"I never knew that."

Psyche frowned and tipped her head to the side slightly.

"Well, why did you think that me and Cupid call Hephestus 'Daddy Heph'? We picked it up from Strife. He's been calling him that since he could talk."

Xena merely turned in her seat to stare all wide-eyed across the room at the big quiet God while thinking about still waters and how they always seem to run deep.

!!!!!!

TITLE: Husband 6d
AUTHOR: Scorpio
ARCHIVE: The Nesting Place, AJCS, JLA, Joxerotica, The Den, CKoS and Sentinel Cat.
FANDOM: Xena:WP
PAIRING: Ares/Joxer
RATING: R (this part is NC-17)
CATEGORY: drama
DEDICATION: To Sentinel Cat, for putting up with me when no one should be forced to so such a thing. You are amazing!
DISCLAIMER: If I owned the show, it wouldn't have been classified as fine family fun. I don't though, so blame all niceness and wholesomeness on Ren Pics and Flat Earth Prod.
SUMMARY: More of what you saw in parts 6a, 6b and 6c... The reception party comes to an end.


~~~~
Part 6d
~~~~

!!!!!!

The soft bedding under Auto's knees felt as if it were covered in the softest of silks, but he couldn't be sure. He was far too distracted to concentrate on it and he certainly couldn't see it through the blindfold that Jett had wrapped around his eyes. In fact, all he *could* think about was how vulnerable and exposed he felt once Jett had finished trussing him up.

Stripped naked, Jett had blindfolded him and then tied his hands behind his back at the wrists *and* the elbows. This awkward positioning of his arms put stress on his shoulders uncomfortably and forced him to thrust his chest out and his hips back. It was at that point that Jett pinched his nipples into excited peaks and then captured them with some sort of metal clamps. They hurt in a good way, making him ruthlessly aware of them and their punishment. He couldn't ignore his nipples if he tried.

Then, he had been guided onto the bed and into a kneeling position. Jett had gently and calmly placed a metal bar between his knees and shackled it in place. The bar was almost two feet long and it forced his thighs apart that far. He couldn't pull his legs together even if he wanted to. He was trapped with his legs opened, his private parts exposed and unprotected. His ankles had been crossed one over top of the other and then tied together with soft rope.

Once everything had been in place to Jett's satisfaction, he had bent Auto over at the waist so that the side of his head and neck were propped up on a soft thick pillow and his naked and spread ass was up in the air. Exposed. However, Auto was the King of Thieves for a reason, and given enough time he could get himself out of this predicament. It's just that...Auto wasn't sure he *wanted* out of it. He *did* love Jett, he really did, but that didn't stop him from being scared witless of the assassin.

And this position; it was the most humiliating and degrading position that Jett could have put him in. His nipples throbbed with every breath he took and he was blind, unable to even see what was going on around him. His knees were braced far apart and his anus was vulnerable and exposed. He could feel every little breeze in the room against his sensitive and twitching opening. And his cock and balls were literally *throbbing* with the erotic excitement thrumming through his entire body.

His penis was so hard that Auto was almost afraid that it would burst and a steady stream of pre-cum dribbled out of the end of it continuously even though it hadn't even been touched once. His balls were boiling and pulled up tight to his body and he wanted to be fucked by his lover. His lover who he hadn't seen in several months. His lover who was still fully clothed and standing silently by the side of the bed just watching him.

Even though Auto couldn't *see* Jett, he could feel the assassin's eyes roaming along his flesh almost like a physical caress. He was open and exposed, stripped down bare and flayed raw without a single touch. He felt as if his very soul was set free even as his body was trussed up and shackled tightly. Against his will, he began to thrash against his bonds, grinding his pinched nipples against the soft bedding and thrusting his empty and open ass at the air in desperation to be stuffed full and riden hard, trying without success to bring his cock into contact with something. Anything.

"Come for me Auto. Show me that you love me."

Jett's soft husky voice rolled over him from nowhere and everywhere all at once and his body clenched in on itself even as his balls exploded. Hot cum shot out of his painfully hard cock and coated his stomach and chest even as a wail tore itself from his throat. He trembled and shook with the violent orgasm that slammed into him. Soft throaty chuckles whispered around his swirling head.

"Good boy, Autolycus."

!!!!!!

Although the feeling that he was on the verge of fainting had eased up some, Joxer figured that he was still somewhat shocky. His nerves were strung as tight as they could possibly get and he tended to flinch and jump at every little sound. He kept hoping that he'd wake up beside a campfire somewhere so that he could tell Xena and Gabrielle about this weird dream. Gabrielle would laugh at him, but it would be worth it if only this weren't really happening.

He had almost managed to convince himself that this was some sort of evil trick of Morpheus' when his father and his cousin turned Son-in-law sat down at the table with him. Vaguely he wondered if this was where the dream would turn more enjoyable or if it was where it became even more nightmarish. Joxer was all for the more enjoyable choice, but he didn't hold out any hope for getting what he wanted.

"Hey, Jox. Me an' Cupie here thought tha' we should try an' give ya some pointers fo' dealin' wit' tall, dark an' deadly. Ya know?"

Joxer blinked at his father stupidly, his brain offically fried by this point.

"Huh?"

Cupid glared at Strife for a quick moment and then leveled his best sympathetic smile at Joxer. Joxer appreciated the effort although it didn't really make him feel all that much better. After all, Cupid got to go home to a nice, soft, squishy, blonde wife. He wasn't stuck being married to a sociopath with a fondness for sharp pointy objects. Joxer frowned...Auto might understand Joxer's predicament, but Cupid certainly couldn't.

"Strife means Dad, Joxer. We wanted to give you some advice for dealing with him. Things that we've learned over the years, but that you might not know."

Joxer nodded his head. That was a good idea. He had *no* clue what he was supposed to do or how he was supposed to act. Any help would be great. He would even try to remember it all, although he couldn't guarantee that. He was just far too turned around and emotionally wiped out to be sure that anything else besides panic would stick.

"See, Dad's got a very stressful job, what with being the Head of the House of Aggression and the God of War, and all. I mean, a lot of the Gods all dump their problems on him and the mortals all either hate him or are afraid of him. A lot of his temper is really just stress. So just...keep that in mind and try to be understanding when he's in a mood. Try to, I don't know, help him relax a bit more."

Joxer nodded his head even though he had no idea how he could get Ares to relax. The idea was almost ludicrous. Joxer tended to *cause* other people's stress, not make it go away. Before he could point that out though, his father began talking again and he swiveled his head around to stare at him.

"I know tha' ya were all worried about bein' a bit of a klutz. Don' worry about it. Jus'...try not ta knock down his weapons. Unc' is a bit picky about his toys. Trash anythin' else, but don' fall ovah inta th' weapons rack, kay?"

Joxer nodded his head decisively.

"Right. No knocking over the weapons and try to relax. Anything else."

Cupid nodded and made a vague gesture that could have taken in the main hall, or the entire fortress.

"Yeah. Dad has a *tremendous* amount of work to do. He's got layers and layers of duties. God of War, on the Council of Twelve, Lord of the House of Aggression and Crown Prince of Olympus. That's just the official stuff and doesn't even begin to touch on the personal and family stuff. I'm not saying that there aren't other Gods that are just as busy 'cause there's Apollo and all, but Apollo's duties are all pleasant and fairly easy. Ares has got the hard ones with all the painful choices to make. Ya know?"

Joxer nodded his head even though he didn't really know.

"Anyway, because he's so busy all the time, you might want to put an effort into really learning your duties. 'Cause even though there aren't many of them and they are all pretty basic, if you do them right it'll make Dad's life sooo much easier. Also, you might want to try and find a way to be useful to him beyond your duties. Try and, I don't know, free up some of his time for him."

That made sense to Joxer as well. And, just like the whole relaxing thing, he couldn't see how he could be a help to Ares. Instead, he foresaw a lot of teeth grinding as Joxer got in the way and then apologized to a frustrated and angry War God. Not that he would tell that to Cupid, however, since the God of Love was giving him such an earnest and sincere look.

"Oh, an' anothah thin'. No mattah how much th' lil' slobbah machine whines an' begs, don' go feedin' Graegus any bananas. They give him th' shits an' I know fo' a fact tha' Unc' Ares likes his rugs jus' th' way they are. Non-stained."

Joxer just blinked at his father, unsure how to respond to that bit of wisdom. He didn't have to say anything however, since Cupid just rolled his eyes at Strife and continued with his mini lecture on the care and feeding of an overworked War God.

"Um, Jox...nothing personal. I love you and all, you're my lover's kid and my Mom just thinks you're the bomb, put I gotta put my foot down about your armor, dude. Just...try to stay clean and well groomed, 'cause Dad is a closet neat-freak."

Joxer had a mental flashback to the whole scene between him and Ares in the dressing room when he had been given his new Official Robes. He hadn't really taken the time to go through Ares' things, but he supposed that the closet *was* a little on the tidy side.

"Don't worry about what to wear, I'm sure my Mom will find the time to teach you how to dress yourself. At least, we can hope she will."

Joxer was just a tad offended about that comment. He was an adult and could dress himself on his own, thank you very much. His father seemed to agree since Strife was making strangled noises and silly faces, but Cupid seemed to be really adamant about the concept. At least, until he saw what Strife was doing and then poked him in the ribs. A mock serious expression pasted itself onto Strife's face, but Joxer could tell that his dad just wanted to bust out into giggles. He was only doing the whole serious thing for Joxer's sake probably. Either that or to make sure Cupid didn't put him on the no-nookie list.

"Th' main thin' is jus' ta learn ta go wit' th' flow. Unc' is opinionated an' pushy, but tha's mostly 'cause he's: one; usually right, or two; used ta gettin' his own way. So don' go an' argue wit' him ovah every lil' thin'. You'll jus' come across as a nag an' he'll learn ta ignore ya. If ya pick an' chose your battles an' only fight him fo' th' thin's tha' are th' most important ta ya, he'll be more inclined ta back down an' let ya have ya own way."

Joxer couldn't imagine Ares agreeing to listen to anyone else, but Cupid was nodding his head right along with Strife so maybe it would work if it was a rare enough occasion. Then Cupid put in his own opinion about arguing with the War God, as if Joxer would ever be that brave.

"The big trick to winning an argument with Ares is to not argue with him in public. Some of us can get away with it as long as it's about our job because the mortals see us as being enemies, but you can't. As his Consort, it is imperative that you show a united front in public. I'm talking complete devotion and subservience whenever there's mortals around. Once you two are alone, *then* you can yell at him if you like, but not in front of anyone. Dad does *not* handle public humiliation well at all."

Joxer had a sudden vision of Ares killing a bunch of innocent people simply because they were unwitting witnesses to him being embarrassed by something stupid that Joxer had done or failed to do. It made his knees tremble and his stomach turn to think that someone would suffer if he screwed up. After all, Ares had a notorious temper and tended to be a kill-first-ask-questions-later kind of God. Once he'd calmed down, he might admit it was overkill, but by then it would have been too late.

"Oh, an' just as a heads-up. Don' sit on th' big guy's throne or mess wit' his desk. He's weird about tha'. If ya find tha' ya need space ta do your job, then we'll get ya an office of your own. Kay?"

By this time, Joxer's brain felt numb. Sorta like a bowl full of mush. With sprinkles on top. Dumbly, he merely nodded his head at Cupid and Strife but he was just one more piece of news away from a total mental meltdown and he knew it. His nerves were so bad that he was practically vibrating in place and he had the horrible urge to throw up everything he had eaten earlier.

Then suddenly, Ares was there, cutting through the crowd with majestic sweeps of his shimmering Official Robes to stand next to him, towering over him with a slight frown on his soft full lips. Trembling violently, Joxer peered up at him.

"So, my husband. The reception seems to be winding down and people are starting to make got-to-leave-soon noises. Shall we make our official thank you's and then head off to bed?"

Joxer's brain seized up on itself and he made a frightened squeaking noise.

"Bed?"

Idly, Joxer wondered why the lights were getting dim and how come the room seemed to be tipping over onto it's side. As if from far away, he heard his father's voice echoing around his empty skull.

"Oh shit, Unc'! Catch him before he hits th' floor!"

!!!!!!

tbc...

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