***

I was born last and as the runt of the litter, I had to make do with whatever was left over after my brothers were through with taking all they wanted. So, I learned to survive on crumbs of affection, scraps of love, and just enough food to grow on, but never enough to be full. I survived by being as annoying as possible, as that was the only way I could get attention and a swat on the rear, or a cuff to my head would do to satisfy the craving I had in me for attention. I survived by being persistent, by getting up every time I fell and never taking no for an answer. But no matter what my parents, my brothers, or others threw at me, I survived.

***

Father took my oldest brother Jett under his wing, to train him up as his heir and turn him into a ruthless killing machine. My mother took Jace under her wing and coddled him, kept him close, and praised him whenever he imitated her feminine characteristics. No one took me under their wing, so I had to do the best I could at raising myself, at teaching myself.

I did this mostly through observation, which is likely why I have a different way of looking at things than most. One of the things I learned was that no matter what else is taken from you, no one can take your faith and no one can steal whatever it is that makes you, you. I learned this as my brothers took away anything I saw as special. A rock the colour of Ares' eyes, a flower that grew in the exact spot Ares was said to have had his first victory, a sharp twig that I found which reminded me of Ares' sword and other things. But no matter what they took away from me, no matter what my parents took from me to give to their favourite child, and no matter what the neighbourhood kids took from me, I still had the most important things to me inside me. I still had my faith in Ares and I managed to keep all of whatever it is that makes me, me.

***

Eventually, I learned to just get things no one else in their right minds would want as physical possessions. Which is why my armour and my helmet are the way they are.

Eventually, I learned to hide the things I value the most and never show them to others. Which is why no one I travel with occasionally has seen my lyre or heard me tell my best stories. Nor have they seen my portable shrine to Ares or the drawing I made of me and my brothers together.

It is also why they have never seen the real me. For when I'm with them, I never act the way I normally do when alone. When I'm with them, I put on a façade. I pretend to be a fool and then do my best to irritate and distract them, at which I'm pretty good.

In fact, I can count on two hands the people I've allowed to see the true me and all I truly value. These are: Ares, Strife, Cupid, Aphrodite, Hephaestus, Bliss and Meg. These are the privileged few. Those I trust enough to reveal myself to, share myself with, and see those few possessions I truly cherish. Only these few and no others, for no one else has proven themselves trustworthy to me. Not even Hercules.

***

Now you might think Xena or Gabby had the best chance of gaining my trust, seeing as I spend more time with them than anyone else, but you're wrong. They actually have the least chance of securing my trust among all the people I know, including my enemies, and this because they have betrayed my trust too many times to count.

Gabby betrayed my trust by twisting my nose, hitting me with her staff and ridiculing me with every chance she gets, while preaching that we all must follow the "way" of non-violence and inner peace. Xena betrayed my trust by letting Gabby get away with what she does and then telling me the "bard" only does it out of friendship and love. If that's Xena's idea of how a friend should be allowed to treat me, give me an enemy any day. At least I can fight an enemy whereas I can't fight a supposed friend.

As for Hercules, I don't trust him but I could learn to. Especially if he keeps following Iolaus' lead by treating me with that sort of frustrated tolerance that helps him deal with all the irritating things I do around him and thus not cave into the desire to hit me.

As for Iolaus, I have never been able to get to truly know him as he sticks to Hercules like a shadow, but if I ever come to truly trust the demigod then his "shadow" will likely follow. But only if they could both promise me that they would never hurt or presume to judge any of my true friends - the other people who have gained my trust.

***

Now, as I have hinted before, I'm very good at playing the fool, which will come in handy now that I have a new mission. See, I have to sneak into the underworld and help Strife escape. He could do it alone if it wasn't for the fact that he promised his great uncle Hades to never initiate an escape plan from Tartarus. True, he made that promise back when he was alive and the God of Mischief, but he feels honoured bound to keep it even though he's dead. Add to that the fact that he truly respects Hades and is likely having a lot of fun creating mischief down there means that he likely hasn't even been tempted to break his promise and escape. He did make me promise to help him escape if he ever ended up down there though, so, that's what I'm going to do.

I need a few things before I make the attempt to help him though. Let's see, I need one of Cupid's feathers, then one of those things Strife calls a safety pin, some olive oil - the slipperier the better, a flask full of urine from a female dog in heat, one whoopee cushion and one flask of ambrosia - do not, under any circumstance, confuse this with the urine as Greece does not need a three headed dog as a god. Besides, India kinda has the trademark on multi-limbed and multi-headed gods.

***

I was able to attain all of my supplies with the help of Bliss. I had to have "tea" with him and play with him awhile, but I got apple slices coated with honey and cinnamon out of it. Now I just have to make my way to Tartarus. I'm pretty sure I have to hang a left at Athens to get to the cave that leads to the entrance.

***

Well, I've run into Hercules and Iolaus and they knew something was up since I wasn't wearing my armour. I decided to take a risk and told them what I was planning to do and why. Of how all the children of Greece were lost without their god.

They actually listened and though they couldn't see their way to joining me on my quest, they also did not stop me for they had seen what losing their god had done to the children. In fact, Hercules pointed me in the right direction and gave me some tips. Then Iolaus hugged me and gave me advice on how to handle Charon. He even gave me some money so I could pay my fair and get across the river Styx, to where I would need to be.

I think I've just added them to the list of people that I trust.