Welcome to AresJoxerCupidStrife

Hi

This is my first Moonloon post here (I write non-humour as Vesper). When I saw this challenge I just couldn't resist. I think I got most of the requirements in. Hope you enjoy it :)

Title: Love Bug

Author: Moonloon

Rating: R

Pairing: Strife/Iolaus, Strife/Cupid. Herc and Zeus get in on the action too.

Disclaimer: I don�t own the boys. I don�t recall who does, but I know it isn�t me.

Archive: If I sent it to you, you can have it.

Notes: This is in response to Druid�s �The Power of Strife�s Ass� challenge on the AJCS list. I think I got most of the stuff in, although it�s not a PWP (that was just a suggestion, right?)

LOVE BUG

By Moonloon

"Green! GREEN!!!" Aphrodite, Goddess of Love stared at her hair in the mirror. Reaching up to touch it, she sensed a godly signature. "STRIFE!" Aphrodite picked up the first spell she could get her hands on, yelled �go get Strife� at it and hurled it out the window. Then she went to wash her hair. Again.

~

Strife was sitting in a tree giggling like the maniac he was, watching Iolaus and Hercules deal with a score of rapidly reproducing furballs that were eating their way though a small town�s crops. Strife giggled as a little girl kicked Iolaus on the shin.

"You can�t kill them, they�re so cute." The little girl yelled.

"They�re eating all your food." Hercules said, in a tone that indicated he�d explained this to more than one child over the last few days.

"I�m not going to let you hurt Fluffy!"

Hercules got a kick as well and Strife howled with laughter. "Oh man, 20th century television�what would I do without it?" Making a mental note to make sure the Tribbles didn�t really overrun the region, Strife prepared to flash out when something hit him in the ass and he fell out of the tree.

"OW!"

"STRIFE!"

"Oh crap." Strife realised he was now visible.

Hercules came striding up. "I assume you�re responsible for all this?" Hercules waved at the Tribble covered town. "Don�t you realise there will be famine in this area if you don�t stop this?"

Strife got up out of the dirt and started to brush the dirt from his clothes. "Chill, this is all part of a greater plan: this part of Greece has had far too good a growing season. There�s waaay too much grain here and it�s going to drive down the price all over the country. Haven�t you ever heard of economic balance? I was told to�Herc? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Hercules� expression had shifted from the pissed off one that Strife was most used to, to one that looked a little�sleazy?

Hercules walked over and started to brush the dust off Strife�s leathers. "Are you all right? That was quite a fall."

"Of course I�m all right: I�m a God, remember? Eeep!" Strife jumped as Hercules squeezed his ass.

"Of course, a God. Would you like me to �worship� you?" Strife blanched as Herc wiggled his eyebrows in a way would have been suggestive on anyone else, but was deeply disturbing coming from Hercules.

"Um, thanks for the offer but OW!" Strife jumped as he felt teeth sink into his left buttock. Turning around he saw half a dozen villagers drooling and staring at his ass. Strife pushed Hercules away, picked up the villager who�d bitten his butt and tossed him into the crowd and flashed back to his bedroom on Olympus.

"Oh man, that was just weird!" Strife said, and tried to sit down. That was when he realised Iolaus was wrapped around his leg and licking his leathers.

"Iolaus! What in Tartarus are you doing?"

"You have the hottest ass in all Greece. Let me admire it�please." Iolaus turned his Big Blue Eyes on Strife and snaked a hand up to cup Strife�s balls.

Strife was just about to flash Iolaus back to Hercules when the Big Blue Eyes hit his libido.

"Oh well, why not?" Strife flashed himself and Iolaus naked and materialised a jar of oil in Iolaus� hand.

"Ooooh Strife�

"Ooooooooooh Strife�

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHH�."

"What? That�s it?" Strife looked down at the dazed and satiated Iolaus. "You�re supposed to be the greatest lay in Greece and that�s it?"

"Mmmm, gimme a minute and we can do it again." Iolaus grinned lazily.

"Not likely." Strife said, and flashed Iolaus back to Hercules. After a moment�s thought Strife flashed Iolaus� clothes into a tree just outside the town before jerking off and going to bed.

~

Strife got a summons from Zeus as soon as he woke up and flashed over, settling himself in a chair in Zeus�s office. "What�s up Gramps?"

"How�s that grain problem going?" Zeus asked, not looking up.

"All under control, a couple of days and the excess will be gone."

"Good. How�s Ares?"

"Still mooning about like an idiot."

"Just what I need: A God of War in love."

"Have you talked to �Dite?"

"Yes, she said that Ares had threatened her with a rain of fish if she interfered. I�m not sure what he threatened Cupid with but he�s been avoiding me like the plague for the last three weeks."

"Do you want me to go and check up on his mortal?"

"Please. I�d do it myself but I have this virgin waiting, you know how it is."

Strife managed with an effort to stop his eyes rolling and stood up. "By the way, I saw Hercules yesterday and he was acting really weird."

"Oh." Zeus said, his eyes fixed on Strife�s ass.

"Uh, Gramps? Are you okay?"

"Strife, have I ever told you that you�re my favourite grandson?" Zeus slipped around the desk and wrapped an arm around Strife�s waist, his hand coming to rest on Strife�s rear.

"Ack! Not you too!" Strife flashed out in a hurry. "When in Tartarus did I become catnip?"

"Catnip? What are you talking about?" Xena�s voice came from behind him.

Strife yelped and covered his ass with both hands and spin around; Xena and Gabrielle stood behind him. "Hands off!" Strife yelled.

"Off what?" Gabrielle asked.

"My ass."

"Why would we want to put our hands on your ass? We don�t swing that way you know." Gabrielle looked faintly sick.

"Uh, you mean you don�t have any urge to grab my ass and proposition me?"

"No."

"Oh thank Zeus." Strife sighed, "Well, maybe not Zeus, but someone anyway."

Xena pulled out her chakram and balanced it on one finger. "What are you doing here, Strife?"

"Uh, oh yes�I was supposed to be invisible."

"Mmmm, I�m sooo glad you�re not." Strife jumped as Joxer, who�d snuck up behind him, wrapped his arms around him and started humping against his ass.

"Oh crap, Ares is going to kill me."

"He�ll have to go through me first." Joxer nuzzled the back of Strife�s neck.

"Joxer, what are you doing?" Gabrielle yelled.

"Doesn�t he have the most fuckable ass you�ve ever seen?" Joxer said dreamily.

"Urgh. I don�t believe you just said that. Have you seen Aphrodite recently Joxer? You know she likes to mess with your head."

"APHRODITE! Of course. Thanks Gabby, just for that I�m not going to put anything in your backpack for a month."

"Those mice were you? And the cockroaches? The mould?" Suddenly Gabrielle was speaking to air as Strife flashed into the Halls of Love, Joxer still rubbing an erection into his ass-crack.

~

"Holy shit Strife! Dad is going to kill you." Cupid stared at entwined men.

"DON�T LOOK AT MY ASS!!!"

"Uh, okay. Why?" Cupid looked at the ceiling. "I doubt I�d be able to see much of it anyway, since you have Dad�s mortal plastered all over it."

"I think your mother zapped me with some sort of lust spell. Whenever a man or God sees my ass he gets all horny. Joxer! Stop that!"

Cupid looked amused, "And why would Mom do that? Would it have anything to do with the green hair?"

"Uh, probably. Can you get the spell off?"

"One of Mom�s love bugs? Nope, sorry."

"You�re enjoying this aren�t you?"

"Heh, yeah, kinda."

"What am I going to do?" Strife wailed.

"Apologise?"

"Do you really think she�s calm enough to take an apology yet?"

"Um, probably not. In fact if she saw you, she�ll probably zap you with something else as well."

"Oh crap. Would you peel Joxer off me please? I�m starting to get chafed."

"And what am I supposed to do with him once I peel him off?"

"Send him to Ares?"

Cupid shifted his feet; "I�d rather not, if you don�t mind."

Strife�s eyes narrowed, "So what did Ares threaten you with if you interfered in his love life?"

"Ahem. Why don�t I peel him off and you zap him over to the Halls of War. Once your ass is out of sight the compulsion should wear off. He�ll be horny and all over Ares and we can hide you until Mom calms down."

"Deal."

~

Ares was slouching in his favourite armchair when Joxer and his huge hard-on landed in his lap.

"Um hello Ares." Joxer blushed.

"Joxer? What are you doing here." Ares tried very hard not to stare at the bulge in Joxer�s pants.

"Uhm, I�m not sure actually. I walking with Xena and Gabby when I got the urge to�um, I felt very�uh�and here I am."

"You got horny and materialised in my lap?"

"I suppose so." Joxer got even redder but made no move to climb out of the chair.

"Aphrodite�s getting fish for this." Ares said, then grinned as Joxer cuddled closer. "I�ll make sure they�re nice fish though."

~

"Okay, you can look down now." Strife said to Cupid who promptly burst out laughing.

"Nice look." Cupid grinned.

Strife scowled down at the pink curtains he had wrapped around his ass and turned them black. "That�s better."

"So what are you going to do until Mom calms down?"

"Hide." Strife pouted.

"Where?"

"In my room I suppose."

"I wouldn�t recommend going back to the Halls of War any time soon."

"Why not?"

"Well�" Cupid�s gaze grew distant. "Right now Dad is nailing Joxer into the dining room table. And it looks like blowjobs in the hot tub are next. I�m not sure what�s after that: Joxer wants to get tied up and Dad�wow! Kinky."

"Oh I sooo don�t want to know how you know that. Any ideas about where I could hide out?"

"You can stay at my place."

"With a curtain wrapped around my ass?"

"I don�t mind."

"It would be too tempting to take the curtain off."

There was a moment�s silence.

"I said that out loud didn�t I?" Cupid nodded. "Uh oh."

Cupid looked a little stunned. "Ares said that if I interfered in his love-life he�d tell you about the crush I have on you."

"Why didn�t you look in my head to see how I felt about you?" Strife felt a little dizzy.

"I can only look into people�s heads when they�re boinking. You don�t do that much."

"Hey! I get plenty thanks. I�ll have you know I had Iolaus just yesterday."

Cupid rolled his eyes. "Like that�s hard to do even without a spell on your ass."

"Worst fuck ever too. He lasted about ten seconds."

"Side effect of the spell. Mortals don�t have the self-control to make it last."

Strife grinned. "And Gods do?"

Cupid grinned back. "Strife, drop your curtains and find out."

~

Aphrodite smiled as she heard the sounds of boisterous lovemaking coming from Cupid�s bedroom. The energy she was getting from Strife and Cupid had really boosted her energy levels and she�d finally managed to get the green out of her hair. She shrugged and took the spell off Strife�s ass. Holding her breath she listened for any change in the sounds coming from Cupid and Strife.

"Yes! Yes! Harder Cupid!"

"Ohhh Strife. Ooooohhhhhh�"

Aphrodite grinned. "Ah, a job well done. Now I just have to convince Zeus that I don�t have any more love bugs." She turned to leave when twenty pounds of smoked salmon rained down on her. "Fish? FISH! ARES!" Aphrodite reached out for the first thing that came to hand�

The End