Welcome to AresJoxerCupidStrife

Title: Men on Authors
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Rating: R
Codes: A/J
Archive: AJCS
Disclaimer: Ha! I wish.
Feedback: Yes, thank you.
Dedication: For Hergerbabe as always just cause I can.
Summary: Ares and Joxer tell us what they think of their favorite authors.

We open to see two men sitting on a love seat. One is wearing some weird
type of 'armor' that looks suspiciously like kitchen implements and the
other is wearing all black leather. The audience has been given buckets to
drool in due to this fact.

<:^D Come on, Ares. It's not *that* bad.

@:-| Says the man who is not four months *pregnant*. I don't know about you,
but I'm getting tired of wearing draw string pants. It just does *not* go
with my bad ass look.

<:^\ Ya know, dearest. You're the one who thought he could get away with
wearing a leather vest and cotton sweat pants, not me.

@:-| True, but I'm not the one wearing cooking utensils as my 'armor'
either.

<:^o ::is about to comment when he catches sight of the camera man::
//...one of these days I'm gonna gut that man...// *Ahem!* Good morning,
Greece! I'm Joxer.

@:-| And I'm Ares.

<:^D Today's episode is all about certain fine authors. We entitle this
episode, 'Men on Authors'.

@:-| Indeed. Normally we shoot the shit about what fine fics are out there
in AJCS land, but not today. No, today we will discuss our personal favorite
authors and why we like them.

<:^D So true, buttercup...

@:-\ ::cocks an eyebrow up while mouthing 'buttercup?'::

<:^D Anyway, onto our first pick for today. This first fine author goes by
the name of Hergerbabe. I've gone over our scrolls and I haven't seen
anything from her recently in regards to AJCS fic. A friend of mine, who
goes by the name Pippy, told me she has gone to the Smallville side. Damn
shame too. I so miss her nummy and cliffhangerie fics.

@:-| Same here. She needs to get back on track before I send Strife after
her to do his worst.

<:^\ Isn't that a little harsh, Arry?

@:-| Maybe so, but would you think of writing for another fandom if Strife
was after your ass?

<:^\ Point taken.

@:-| I'm glad we're on the same level. Anyway, Hergerbabe, if you're out
there in AJCS land, take this as a warning. Come back here or you will know
pain...

<:^) Ya know, Arry. Knowing Hergerbabe the way I do, she'd probably *not*
write for AJCS just so Strife could come over and do his 'worst'.

@:-| Uh huh. Anyway, just so we're clear. ::glares off screen at Hergerbabe,
who's sitting in the audience with a wicked smile on her face::

<:^\ Um, yeah. Ooo-kay. Let's move on, shall we? Lesse, the next author on
our favorite list is Corona. Now, this writer is the bomb. She's quick,
she's talented and she came to join the AJCS side. I'd give her money and
fame if I could.

@:-| Not a good idea, Jox. Most mortals who get famous let's it go to their
heads. As long as she keeps writing for the side of amoral decency, she's
shit hot in my book.

<:^\ You're a strange god, Ares. Anyway, Corona, if you're out there, keep
up the great work, darling. We so appreciate it. Now, on to our next fav
author. ::scrolls down scroll:: Ah ha! Miss Tequila Worm. I so love her,
don't you, Ares?

@:-| She's alright. Damn woman keeps making me preggers though.

<:^\ That was just that one time, Arry.

@:-| So?

<:^\ ::sighs:: Nevermind. Tequila Worm, don't listen to Ares' grumbling,
he's just mad about being knocked up right now.

@:-| Damn right I am!

<:^| ::ignores emotional spouse:: We still love you, girl. Now, the next
author we love is our very own wonderful, talented and amazing Scribe.
::yells into audience:: Take a bow, Scribe! ::waits while Scribe throws
kisses to all her fans and bows:: Scribe, make sure you hurry with all your
work in progress fics. Ares and I are dying to read them.

@:-| Yeah, sometime this century would be nice.

<:^\ Don't be a meanie, Ar. Scribe, we love you. Okay, moving along. Our
next author is the talented Scorpio, who we haven't heard from in a while.
Hey, Ar, didn't she like post one or two parts of a fic and then vanish
again?

@:-| How in Tartarus should I know? I've been preoccupied lately if you
haven't noticed.

<:^\ Should I send you to your room without supper or nookie?

@:-o ::eyes go wide:: No, no. That's alright, I'll be quiet now. ::makes
motions of zipping mouth::

<:^D Good. Scorpio, girl, when you get a chance, send us some more of your
wonderful fics. We're dying from having to wait. Isn't that right, Ar?

@:-x ::nods head in agreement::

<:^D That's a good War God. Okie dokie, next on our list is Brandy. I don't
know what happened to her, but she was a talented writer. Ar, do you know
what happened to her?

@:-x ::shakes head no::

<:^( Me either. Brandy, if you're out there in the audience, please give us
some more fics to read. I miss your brand of writing. ::sniffs a bit::
Anyway, next is Carrie. Ya know, a friend of mine tells me that Miss Carrie
thinks all her fics suck worse then Hercules. I've read her stuff and can't
seem to find anything wrong with them. ::eyes roam audience and spots Carrie
trying to hide:: Stand up, Carrie and take a bow.

Carrie: Nah, that's alright, Jox. I'm in the middle of updating the AJCS
site and writing more of my suck ass fics.

<:^O Don't make me hurt you, woman! Your fics don't suck. Tartarus, you're
better at writing then Christine is.

Carrie: Whatever!

<:^\ //...mental note: smack some sense into Carrie...// Okay, on to our
next author. Hmm, the next one is Miss Lisa. Say, ain't she the one who's
writing that semi-cute fic about you, Cupid and Strife having turned into
babies?

@:-x ::nods head::

<:^\ You know, you can talk, Ar.

@:-\ Thanks. I like her fic, but not sure about the whole turning me into a
baby thing. I mean my childhood wasn't the greatest.

<:^\ Well, neither was mine but you don't see me brooding on it.

@:-\ True. Well, Lisa, keep writing we are enjoying your fic even though I'm
not too keen on the whole baby thing.

<:^\ Ares, we're here to praise the authors themselves, not their fics.

@:-\ Oh. Well, keep it coming anyway.

<:^| Alrighty then. Next author on our list is the extremely talented
Caroline. Damn, she's one great author. I heard she writes a mean first time
fic for that strange kid's show called Big Wolf or something.

@:-\ I caught that show once. Damn thing's slashier then Smallville. Course,
I wouldn't know since I don't watch Smallville.

<:^\ Yeah, right. That's why you have every episode taped?

@:-o Jox, I'm so gonna hurt you one day.

<:^D Promises, promises. Anyway, Caroline, you're an awesome writer. Keep
those fics coming, dear. Our last author is a newbie. Um, at least I think
she is. *I've* never heard of her before she came to AJCS. Anyway, our last
one is SylvNymph. I'm really enjoying her brand of angst in her latest fic.
It's dark and yet fascinating to read. I'm hoping she's got more for us soon
cause I can't wait much longer for the next installment to come.

@:-D I really love the fic she's writing. I'm not too into the hurt me
context of it, but the way she writes it makes it believable in a scary sort
of way. I'm glad it never really happened like that though. I'd be pretty
fucked in the head if it had.

<:^( Aw, don't say that, babe. It's just a story. It's not real. My
childhood wasn't the greatest but I'm glad it wasn't like what she's written
either. Anyway, keep up the great work, SylvNymph. You're ace in my book.

@:-| Ditto.

<:^D Anyway, that's it for this episode of Men on Authors. I'm Joxer.

@:-| And I'm Ares.

<:^D And we'll see you next time.

Director yells 'cut!' and the two men snuggle together some.

<:^\ You alright, sweetums?

@:-| Yeah, just my damn stomach itches like a son of a bitch. Where's Dite
when you need her?

<:^\ Dunno. Let's go home and I'll rub oil into your belly.

@:-| Alright.

And so ends another installment of ours boys. Tune in next time for their
regularly broadcast 'Men on Stories'.

Chao!

End