Welcome to AresJoxerCupidStrife

Title: Men on Stories
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Rating: R
Codes: A/J
Archive: AJCS
Disclaimer: If I've told ya once, I've told ya a billion times...I do *not* own them! ::hides lawyers:: Course, I'm working on that little problem. :-)
Feedback: Well, that'd be cool, but I'm doing this to comment on all your stories.
Author's Note: Okay, got this idea from the sketch 'Men on Film' they would show once in awhile on 'In Livin' Color'. The two guys were gay and their names were Blain and Antwon...at least from what I remember.
Dedication: To Hergerbabe who loves my Ares and Joxer emoticons.
Summary: Ares and Joxer tell us what they thought of the AJCS authors' stories.

We open with Ares and Joxer sitting on a couch, looking over the vast amount of stories that have been posted to the wonderful group, AJCS. The camera narrows in on the two love birds as we listen in on their conversation.

<:^D I'm telling you, Ares, these stories are great!

@:-| ::sighs:: Joxer, my love, you think *condoms* are great.

<:^\ Well, they are. You aren't the one who keeps getting stuck in the wetspot after sex. ::notices camera man:: Eeep! ::clears throat quickly:: Good morning, Greece! I'm Joxer!

@:-| ::looks up from scroll:: And I'm Ares.

<:^D And we're here to let the writers on AJCS know what we thought of their stories!

@:-| Indeed.

<:^( Aw, come on, Ares. Show a little enthusiasm here.

@:-| I don't *do* enthusiasm.

<:^( ::crosses arms and turns head:: Hrmph! That's not what you said last night.

@:-\ ::clears throat:: Ahem, yes. ::glares at Joxer:: Thanks for sharing that with the world, dearest.

<:^D Your welcome!

@:-( //Why do I even bother?//

<:^D ::looks over notes:: Anyway, the first story on our list is 'Husband' by Scorpio. I thought the fact that Zeus would actually go out and make Ares and me married was a neat idea.

@:-| I thought so too. But the part where Eris goes and ties Hera up in chains and a gag was the best part.

<:^\ ::looks at dark spouse:: You would.

@:-) Hey, that was the best part!

<:^\ Um, yeah. ::rolls eyes:: Anyway, the overall plot is pretty cool and totally funny. Now, if she could just hurry and finish it. I'm dying to read the next part.

@:-| Yes, I suppose I'm 'dying' for more also.

<:^\ You're just *so* excited, aren't you? I can practically cut your excitement with a dagger.

@:-~~~~P Oo! Daggers!

<:^| ::raises eyebrow at demented spouse:: Ooo-kay. Anyway, I give this story two thumbs up!

@:-| Same here.

<:^| Uh huh. ::sighs and looks at list again:: Next up is 'The Last Olympic' by StarSteel...

@:-O Oo! I *loved* that one!

<:^( You would. It's all about *you*. I'm no where near being in that story.

@:-) Oo! Oo! I loved the part where I get risen up from out of my tome by Xena's descendent and I get to boink *all* the females I come in contact with to gain 'energy'.

<:^| Uh huh...

@:-D *And* I get to kick some serious ass along the way! I give this four thumbs up!

<:^\ Hey, Ares? You only have two thumbs.

@:-\ Well, I'm using my toes also.

<:^\ Yeah. Anyway, besides the fact that *I'm* not even in it, I actually thought the plot was excellent and the idea of a cross over with our time and their time was neat.

@:-~~P Oo! Don't forget the fighting too!

<:^| Uh huh. ::glares as spouse drools in ecstacy over fight scenes:: Ahem, yes. The next story on our list is 'Mortality Sucks' by Delerium. You know, for someone who has never written a story before, this one was actually very nicely done. I didn't like the fact that I got the blame for *your* nephew's schemes, but hopefully, the author will continue on with it.

@:-| I agree. You got the short end of the stick in that one.

<:*^D Oh Ares. You say the sweetest things!

@:-( Ahem, yes. ::fidgets uncomfortablely:: Just make sure you don't broadcast that.

Camera man: Um, Mister Ares? You guys are live.

@:-\ Oh, um...shit! ::throws hands to face and shakes head:: My rep is ruined now. Thanks ever so much.

Camera man: ::totally missing the sarcasm in Ares' voice:: No problem, sir.

<:^\ Oopsie. Okay, next up is 'Making Connections' by Corona. I absolutely loved this silly series. I liked how she had Ares piss, moan and groan about his family and life in general and had him writing letters to me.

@:-( I liked it too, however, I did *not* appreciate being made into some whiney complainer.

<:^( Aw! ::rubs spouse's back comfortingly:: Don't feel bad, sweetums, she did make it out where there was a fight at the party.

@:-) Oh, yeah! Forgot about that. Mmm, fighting. ::drools onto chin::

<:^D ::wipes drool away:: See? It *was* a good story. I especially liked the part where we finally meet and then at the end we kiss. ::sigh!:: So romantic.

@:-| I don't do romance.

<:^D Whatever you say, stud. ::ignores icy glare thrown his way by pouting spouse:: Okie dokie. Next story on our list is 'Waiting for the Night to Fall' by JaimeBlue. ::sniffs:: This was such a lovely story. It had angst in it but also romance. ::sigh:: I've never cried over a story before, but this one made me want to get out the tissues.

@:-\ I know why *you* liked it, but *I* am the one who got knocked up. ::crosses arms and pouts sexily::

<:*^) Aw, you poor thing. I bet you'd look *so* cute being all big and knocked up with my babies.

@:-\ Ahem, yes, well...don't go getting any ideas.

<:^D ::fains look of innocence:: Who me?

@:-( No, your brother Jace. Yes, you. Anyway, besides the fact that *I* gave birth...::shudders:: I actually enjoyed this story. Course, it only gets one in a half thumbs up due to my pregnancy.

<:^D I, myself, give it two thumbs up cause of the pregnancy and the emotional turmoil of it. ::sighs in happiness::

@:-| //I think I should have married Jett instead. Too much damn cutesiness.//

<:^D Alright, the next story is 'Summer Solstice Dinner' by Scorpio. My, she's a writing feind isn't she?

@:-| Yup.

<:^\ Not one to say much are we? Anyway, I thought this was so cute and funny. I especially loved the part at the end with Bliss and all the mashed potatoes. Course, I sure hope she'll write a sequel to this maybe during the winter solstice so we can find out what happened after Bliss' little potato escapade.

@:-| Well, I know one thing. Bliss definitely won the food fight with his little temper tantrum.

<:^D Oh, definitely. Now, onto the next story. Mustn't dwadle on one story too long you know.

@:-| Indeed. Wouldn't want to give anyone a fat head.

<:^D Well, except your 'head', dearest. ::smirks at lustfull gaze thrown his way:: Anyway, the next neato roonie story on our list is 'The Best Laid Plans' by Shadowgrl. Even though this story had absolutely nothing to do with us, I still thought it was a really cool story. Loved Strife's point of view on his unexpected marriage to Cupid. I especially liked his comment at the end about Heph's metal.

@:-| I agree. My brother is one sick puppy when he wants to be.

<:^\ ::raises an inquiring eyebrow at his spouse:: Uh, yes...anyway, I totally give this story two thumbs up. I'd definitely like to see more on this subject. Wouldn't you, Ares?

@:-| ::puts cigar down onto ashtray:: Huh? Oh yeah. Totally dug it. So, who's next?

<:^\ ::waives hand across nose as smelly cigar smoke drifts his way:: Ahem, next up is 'Fun and Games' by Waitingsky.

@:-| Ah, yes. This one was about my two terror grandchildren. Damn, but they make me proud. ::sighs in contemptment::

<:^D I thought this story was really cute. I loved Bliss and Recess in this. Course, I hope to Zeus she hurries with the next part. I'm dying to know what'll happen with the children and myself.

@:-{ If she even *thinks* of letting Apollo touch you in any way, I will rip off her fingers and stick them up her nose. Then I'll cut Apollo's balls off and use them for target practice.

<:^( Uh, yeah. ::quickly writes note to Waitingsky, asking that she end the story quickly and happily:: Don't worry, dark and deadly, I'm sure nothing bad will happen to me in her story.

@:-| ::eyes flash red briefly:: It better not.

<:^\ ::looks worried:: Anyway, onto the next story! This one is called 'Life Sucks, but Love's Great' by Hergerbabe. ::sighs:: What a cool new twist on our lives. She has us going to highschool as teenagers.

@:-| Well, one would think we're teenagers in this story if we're in highschool. I'd hate to have us go as adults. I may not be an intellectual like Athena, but I'm not a rock either. Course, I wouldn't be surprised if the Freaky Four were.

<:^\ Um, ooo-kay. As I was saying, I love the concept of how we get together. I'm not too thrilled about my father whooping my ass, but other then that fact, it's an excellent read. She just needs to learn how to type quicker. ::glares off screen at Hergerbabe, who is giving Joxer the two fingered salute::

@:-| I agree. She types as slow as Zeus trying to hide shit from Hera.

<:^\ You know, babe, that made absolutely *no* sense. ::smirks at pout from spouse:: Ooo-kay. Next up is 'Quoting Papa Bear, or Who's Been Sleeping in My Bed' by Scribe. I really liked this story. She did an excellent job writing a response to Christine's challenge. It made me laugh so hard, I spat water out of my nose.

@:-| Ah, eew. Anyway, I agree. I thought she did an excellent job portraying us in this story. Course, she made me seem stupid in thinking you would *actually* cheat on me.

<:^| Yes, so true. I give this one two thumbs up in the comedy department. Also, two thumbs up for making me out as a very faithful lover. You *know* I would never cheat on you, pookums.

@:-| Yes, I do. That's because I'd beat you to a pulp and skin your lover alive if you ever did.

<:^| ::clears throat nervously:: Oh yeah. Wouldn't want you to beat me into a pulp, course I love it when you beat me with your 'club of love'.

@:-( Damn, Joxer. That was cheesy even for you. ::ignores hurt look from geeky spouse:: Anyway, the next story on the list is 'For Starters' by Kitty. She may not have written stories before, but I thought this story was mildly amusing.

<:^D Oh, definitely. I even liked the sex scene in it, course it could have been just a tad more detailed, but wonderfully done for someone whose never written them before.

@:-| I thought so too, but she made you despise me and wonder why and how you ended up sleeping with me. *That* I did not like.

<:^D Aw! Don't worry, Ares. I'm sure she'll explain everything in the next part as soon as she either writes it or posts it. ::leans in to give pouting spouse a quick kiss:: Alright, next one is 'Comfort Time' by Xandria. Now, even though this had nothing to do us, I thought it was a very nice story. Finally, a story about your nephew Asclepius. Poor man almost never gets a story about him.

@:-| That's cause he's too damn nice.

<:^\ I'm nice and I get a whole bunch of stories about me.

@:-| Yes, well, nevermind.

<:^| Uh huh. Anyway, I thought it was great and give it two thumbs up. I just hope she continues to write more stories. She's a very good writer.

@:-| I'm sure she's right on top of it too.

<:^| That's right, Ares. Encourage the girl. ::giggles at spouse's heated glare:: Okay, the last story on our list is 'Dancing Up a Storm' by Casper. I thought this was a sweet story. It was sad how Strife thought Cupid was cheating on him with Apollo, but I'm glad it worked out in the end. Also loved Strife's birth scene. Really cute. She just needs to hurry up with the next part so I can see what our baby looks like.

@:-| Me too. It seemed to me, you weren't much fun being knocked up in the story.

<:^| You wouldn't be so happy, happy, joy, joy either if you were walking around with a nine pound lump in front of you. Anyway, that's it for the story reviews. If we missed anyone this time, don't worry. We'll make sure to go back over our scrolls and comment on your story next time. For Men on Stories, I'm Joxer...

@:-| And I'm Ares...

<:^D And we'll see you next time. Bye!

@:-| So long.

As camera man signals the end of shooting, the two men sigh in relief and sit back on the couch.

<:^D That was pretty fun. I can't wait till next time!

@:-| Joxer, you have *no* life.

<:^\ Neither do you.

@:-| Hey!

And so it ends. Please tune in next time for more Men on Stories. Good night and see ya!

The End