Welcome to AresJoxerCupidStrife

Title: Men on Stories III
Author: Christine
Contact: QsMistress23@hotmail.com
Fandom: Xena/Hercules
Rating: R
Codes: A/J
Archive: AJCS
Disclaimer: Pssh, yeah right.
Feedback: Yes, thank you.
Dedication: To Hergerbabe as always just because. To TW for being a good
sounding board and helping with some betaing. And to all of you who I
mentioned here. Keep up the great work!
Summary: Ares and Joxer once again tell us what they think of the AJCS
authors' stories.

We open up onto a couch where we see two men. One is bent over, and from the
sound of things, tossing his cookies. The other has a sympathetic look on
his face as he rubs the back of the other man. We zoom in on the two to get
a better understanding of what they are saying.

<:^( You alright there, Ares?

@:-( ::gag!, spew!, barf!:: Tartarus, no! I'm...gah...heaving into a chamber
pot. ::eyes go wide and bends head further into pot::

<:^| Poor, Ares. ::notices camera man and glares pointedly at him before
clearing throat and smiling sheepishly:: Morning, Greece! I'm Joxer.

@:-( ::bleurg!:: And I'm A...A...Ares.

<:^D And this is Men on Stories! Our first story today is 'Peace, Love, and
Bulletproof Marshmallows by the lovely Tequila Worm. I'm enjoying this story
immensely. I'm liking how Hephaestus got drunk as a skunk and came up with
his new and weird invention called the bb gun.

@:-| ::wipes mouth with the back of his hand:: Yeah, just awesome. Course,
as usual, I'm the one to get preggers in these damn stories. What's up with
that? Do I *look* like a brood mare!?

<:^\ Heh. No, dearest, you don't. But you gotta admit, I get preggers in
almost everyone's story. Which just isn't true, now is it, Ares, darling?

@:-( ::spew!:: Gah, course not, Jox. I'm always on the bottom. /...damn
you.../

<:^) Zactly. Well, anyway, I give this story two thumbs up cause it's hot,
funny, and just plain neato-rific!

@:-| Whatever. ::burp!::

<:^| ::looks directly into camera:: Don't mind him, folks. He's just being,
uh emotional is all.

@:-| Damn right I am! You aren't the one having morning sickness here.
/...fucker.../

<:^) Uh huh. ::rolls eyes:: Anyway, the next story on our list is The
Sacrifice by Lady Q...say, don't we know someone named Q's mistress or
something like that?

@:-| Maybe. She ain't one of *my* friends. Shit, I don't have many friends
anyway. 'Cept for you and Cupid and Eris and Dite and Heph and Strife and...

<:^\ ::interrupts:: Oh, you're *so* right. Not one friend at all. /...yeah
and I'm the Queen of Britania.../ Moving on, I thought this story was
wonderfully written. It's got romance, it's got mystery and it's got some
nummy sex in it too. ::smiles fondly::

@:-| Usually, I love sex. Sex is good, sex is great. But come nine months
from now, you ain't getting any ever again. ::glares at wide-eyed spouse::
Oh, and I give this two thumbs up.

<:^| ::blinks and pouts at angry spouse:: I do too. Anyway, on to the next
story. This one is Winner by Waitingsky. ::giggle, snort, chuckle:: Gods, I
so loved this one. I love a good Zeus bashing story, don't you?

@:-| ::takes head out of chamber pot:: Fuck yeah! That old goat needs to
quit leading himself around by his gangreen, wrinkled, teenier then a gnat's
ass, cock. I don't know how Hera can put up with his sleezy ass. It's a
wonder there's any Gods at all. ::turns green and ducks head back into pot::

<:^\ ::winces at sounds coming from digestively challenged spouse:: Um,
yeah. Anyhoo, I give this two thumbs up due to me kicking Zeus' ass all over
Gaia's creation and wounding 'Mister Happy'.

@:-| ::picks head up long enough to mouth, 'Mister Happy?' before cheeks
puff and he sucks face with the pot o' puke once again::

<:^o Poor, Ares. ::rubs spouse's back as spouse continues to upchuck:: Hmm,
lesse. The next story is the Childhood Series by Miss Corona. Aw! This is
such a sweet, yet sad series. I felt so bad for poor little Strife. Cupid
was such a darling for wanting to be friends with little Strife. Made me go
all teary eyed. ::sniffs back snot::

@:-| I agree. I didn't like the fact that Eris was portrayed as a bad mother
in this, but it worked well for the story. ::belch!:: Gah! Anyway, I give
this one in a half thumbs up. ::feels better and puts pot next to him on
couch::

<:^\ True. I also give this one and a half thumbs up. I've been around Eris
and she didn't seem to be the bitchy, nasty mom type. But then again, I saw
her after Strife was grown. So for all I know he could have kicked her ass.

@:-| Ah, it was a splendid day all those centuries ago. ::eyes glaze over in
remembrance:: Anyway, our next story is Growing Up series by Corona. Damn,
she's a writing fool. Now, how come my warriors can't be all creative like
her?

<:^\ Ares? Have you even met your warriors? They may all be hard as rocks,
but their intelligence is about the same. I asked one the other day to move
his ass and he told me there weren't any donkeys nearby.

@:-| Oh, you must've met Portis. He ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, but
boy is he one Tartarus of a fighter. Makes me all proud-like.

<:^\ Yeah. Anyway, this series is cool. We get to see Strife and Cupid
growing into their godhoods and their roles as future Gods. It's still in
the cute and funny stage though. Can't wait 'til it gets to the 'I want your
ass, *now*!' stage. Course, that's just me.

@:-( That's sick, Jox. No mentioning my son and sex in the same sentence.
Anyway, I give this two thumbs up myself.

<:^D Me too! The next story is Stupid Cupid by Caroline Crane. Day-um! I
know this story is mainly about Cupe and Strife, but Gods almighty! This is
the hottest thing I've read in ages. It's set in the future and Strife is
this hot band member while Cupe is this hot groupie...

@:-\ Jox, did you just say you thought *my* son was hot!? Um, total eew
there, lover. I so didn't need that mental image right now. ::grabs pot and
introduces himself once again to squickville::

<:^\ Oopsie. Anyway, I'll just move along then. The next story is A Rude
Awakening by Mishap. Damn good story, yes indeedy. I don't know how
she/he/it did it, but this is one of my favorites besides of course the last
three I mentioned. I hope she/he/it continues with it cause I'm dying to
find out what happens next.

@:-| ::doesn't comment due to continued heaving over thoughts of Cupie
*doing* it::

<:^) I give this two thumbs up. Nice job, Mishap. On to our next and last
story. This one is The House That War Built by Sylvnymph. Oh...my...Gods!
This story is just too fucking sad! I mean, I really love the Houses of War
and Love getting together to save you and stuff, but day-um! I knew Zeus was
a dick head, but this just takes the cake.

@:-| :raises head up:: Yeah, tell me about it. Why do I always have to go
through angsty shit? I mean, can't I be in a nice happy, cutesy war story
now and again?

<:^| Please. You know you'd hate to be in someone's cute story. Tartarus,
last time you got all bitchy about me using the word 'cute'.

@:-\ Yes, well. I wasn't myself at the time. /...it's all your fault,
damnit!.../

<:^| I guess so. Anyhoo, that's it for Men on Stories. I'm Joxer.

@:-| And I'm ::burp!:: Ares.

<:^) And we'll see ya next time!

Director lowers arm in a 'cut' fashion. Camera men pull their cameras away
as the two men on the couch continue to chat with each other.

@:-| I swear, Joxer. The next time you knock me up, I'm gonna knock you
*out*. Got me, mister!?

<:^| ::shrinks down into couch coushins:: I'm sorry, Arry. I tried pulling
out, but Greagus startled me.

@:-| Uh huh sure. /...bitch.../

And so it ends, folks. Another day, another emotionally challenged War God.

Later!

End