Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Title: Mischief
Author: Brandy
Archive: If you really want to.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: J/A
Category: AU, angst, with humor.
Warnings: I do believe I was a bit graphic, sexually.
Disclaimer: I don't own or have any rights or claims to any of the
characters in this story. Just borrowing them temporarily.
Part 1
"Oh, you're such a little trouble maker!"
Joxer grabbed the small white kitten from the mess of food littering
the floor.
"Meow?" The kitten cocked its head innocently.
"Boy, Gabby sure is gonna be mad at you. She's been working on that
dinner all day." Joxer gently stroked the kitten. "If you were hungry
you should'a came and got me."
"Joxer! What have you done!?" Gabrielle yelled, striding across the
room. She scanned the mess, trying to find something to salvage.
Finding nothing, she turned and grabbed Joxer by the nose.
"Oww, oww, Gabby, it wasn't my fault!" Joxer twisted his head trying
to relieve some of the pressure on his nose.
Gabrielle gave it another twist, causing Joxer to stumble and drop
the kitten.
"Merft!" The kitten hopped back out of the way. Narrowing her eyes at
the bard, she slinked over behind her and slashed her cross the ankle
with her claws.
"OWWW!!" Gabrielle yelled, letting go of Joxer and grabbing her ankle.
"What's going on in here?" Xena asked, coming in the doorway.
The kitten quickly ran back behind Joxer and attempted to hide behind
his leg.
"Joxer destroyed my special dinner." Gabrielle whined.
*Thank the Gods. Some of the things she makes…!!! I mean really,
fried fish eyeballs in cowfat?!* Xena walked over to the
mess. "Gabrielle, I don't think Joxer did this. There're paw prints
all over."
"That cat again?!" Gabrielle glowered at the shaking animal trying to
hide behind Joxer.
"Aww, come on, Gabby, it was an accident. The poor thing's just
hungry." Joxer bent down and picked the animal up again.
"Prrruurr!" The little cat rubbed up against Joxer, butting her head
up against his jaw.
"I swear, Joxer, that cat causes as much trouble as you do."
Gabrielle muttered.
A sad expression came over Joxer's face as he looked down at the
kitten.
The kitten laid back its ears and hissed at Gabrielle.
"Wow, I think she understood." Joxer looked at Xena in confusion.
Xena was frowning at the cat. Walking over she bent down and looked
at her. "I just know this cat reminds me of someone. See, all the
white fur with the little tuft of black on top of her head. Those
bright green eyes…"
The kitten leaned out of Joxer's cradled arms and swiped its tongue
across Xena's cheek.
"Looks like she likes you, Xena."
Gabrielle snorted and rolled her eyes, still upset over having her
dinner ruined. "Yeah, well, I think she's out to get me."
"But, Gabby, she's still a baby. She doesn't know any better."
"I still think you need to leave her here, Joxer."
"I can't, Gabby. I promised Bliss I'd take good care of her. He told
me she was special, and you just don't dump presents from the gods.
Besides, you know you're just upset that she shredded your new
scrolls. She was only playing. If you'd put them up before you fell
asleep, she wouldn't have been able to hurt them."
Gabrielle resumed muttering under her breath as she attempted to
clean up the mess.
Joxer looked sadly down at the little kitten. Absently, he started
stroking her fur as he turned and walked out of the farmhouse.
************
I can't believe Hades did this ta me! A fucking cat! And female ta
boot! Bet old tall dark and gloomy would love ta see me preggers with
kittens! NO WAY am I gonna let that happen!
`This is the only chance I'm giving you, Strife. Be grateful I didn't
just stick you in Tartarus and be done with you!'
In the immortal words of Aphrodite `As if!'
I got out before and I can get out again. Besides, `Unc and Cupe
would still be buggin him every day with their petitions. And mom…
well let's just say that I wouldn't wanna be Hades when gramps lets
her out. Makes me proud ta hear all her psychotic screams for me ta
be brought back. Ya know, she's probably tha reason Hades is givin'
me this chance. I just have'ta perform one act that I'd `ve done with
my powers, and I'm free!
"Acckk! Acckk! Eeeeez!" Damn hairballs! Tha next time unc says Hades
has no sence of humor, I'm gonna blast him! Hades is a sick, sick god.
************
"Joxer? Are you alright?"
Joxer jumped, startled, and clutched Trouble. The kitten let out a
disgruntled sound, but soon settled back down under Joxer's stroking
hand. "Yeah, Xena. I think I'm gonna leave for awhile."
"I understand. Is there anything I can do?" Xena sat down next to
him, and scratched Trouble behind the ear.
"No. Ever since Cupid told me the truth I have a hard time being
around Gabby."
"I still think you should tell her how you feel."
"What's the use? Cupid said she wasn't the one for me, and that I was
only going to hurt myself further by mooning around after her. He
said I'd find love where I least expected it, and I know it's not
here. I need to go. Plus, Gabrielle will have some time away from
Trouble. Maybe when we meet up again, she'll have forgotten all
this." Joxer finished hopefully.
"Maybe. You know, Joxer, you never did tell me why Cupid told you
about Gabrielle's feelings."
"Oh." Joxer's cheeks turned dull pink. "I was in Aphrodite's temple
in Thebes. I usually bring her fresh flowers as an offering whenever
I can. I was finishing my prayer when I heard a kitten crying. I got
up to investigate and found Bliss, holding Trouble, in a hidden back
chamber. They were both crying. Bliss finally told me that his mommy
left, and his daddy was angry. I stayed with him until Cupid showed
up. He told me that Psyche had decided that the Muses were more
entertaining than he was, and moved out. He then told me about
Gabrielle as thanks for staying with Bliss. He said he didn't want me
to miss my chance at true love. I guess Bliss felt how sad that made
me and told me to keep Trouble for a while. He said she'd make me
feel better." Joxer stood up and put Trouble on his shoulder. When
the kitten was finally situated and well balanced, he took his pack
from Xena's hand.
"We'll be in the area for a couple of weeks if you want to find us
again, Joxer. Be careful."
Joxer nodded and they clasped arms in farewell.
Xena watched him walk out of sight.
*************
Finally! I don't know how much longer I could'a put up with that
irritating blonde. And Xena? Well, I gotta say I've nevah really
cared for her. She took up wayyyy too much of unc's time. `Though I
did enjoy it when I got a peep down her leathers when she hugged Jox,
yesterday. She was tryin' ta comfort him when he told her he knew
what tha blonde felt towards him. Cupe don't know it, but he did me a
real favor there. Jox's always been one of my favorites. He's even
helped me out on a few small jobs when he was younger, `til his pop
had him and his brothers dedicated ta unc. After that, he was off
limits. But I still kept an eye out for him. Unc doesn't know, but
I've caught him savin' Jox, too. I know he's got a soft spot for him.
I figure if I save him while I'm a cat, then that counts as my godly
act, and Hades lets me go back. After all, I did it when I was a god,
how hard can it be as a cat?
************
"You're sure this plan is going to work?" Hades asked skeptically.
Cupid snorted. Pointing one of his fingers toward himself, he tilted
his head to the side. "Love God, remember? Of course it's gonna work."
Hades turned back towards the viewing mirror. "If you're sure." He
muttered.
"Relax Hades. Before you know it, pops'll be sidetracked by his new
squeeze, Strife will be back up here, and you'll have plenty of time
to catch up on you're inventory before `Sephie comes down. You two'll
get to have a nice long winter with very few distractions."
Hades smiled in anticipation.
*************
Strife's eyes snapped open. That hadn't been an ordinary dream.
Someone was trying to help him. Leaping off his spot on Joxer's
chest, he quickly ran across the clearing and started climbing the
trees.
*************
Joxer shifted in his sleep. He was slightly aware that something was
wrong, but wasn't awake enough to know what. Groggily he shifted his
hand up to stroke Trouble. Suddenly, his eyes shot open and he looked
around frantically for the kitten. She usually slept on his chest,
listening to his heartbeat, but right now was nowhere to be seen.
Just then, Joxer saw a flash of white in the large tree on the far
end of the clearing. Stumbling to his feet, he proceeded to chase
after Trouble. She had the most annoying habit of finding the tallest
tree nearby, and climbing to the top. That, in itself, wouldn't be so
bad, but once she reached the top, she'd cry until someone got her
down.
**************
Strife scampered along from branch to branch. Finally, he reached the
spot he recognized from his dream. He carefully adjusted his footing,
and sat down to wait on Joxer to climb the tree and fetch him.
**************
Joxer grunted as he felt a wayward branch hit him in the belly. Just
a few more feet and he'd be on the branch where Trouble was waiting
on him. Finally, he reached the limb. Heaving a sigh of relief, he
noticed he wasn't really that high up. Soon, however, he was more
concerned with the two approaching warhorses, than the height.
*************
"Are you sure this is going to work?"
"You doubt me?"
"No! No, but Braxis, it's just killing a god…"
"Shhh. Don't say it aloud, you never know who could be listening in!"
Both warriors looked around fugitively.
"Are you sure the knife will work?"
"Yeah. Callisto gave it to me herself. I saw her take some of the
blood off her other dagger and put it on this one. I heard later she
killed Ares second in command with the original."
The second warrior inhaled sharply.
"She told me to hold it for her incase she needed a backup. After
all, I am her most loyal general. Besides, she doesn't think anyone
has the balls to cross her."
"Won't she come back for it?"
"No. I switched this one and a fake one around. If she ever comes
back for the dagger, she'll get the wrong one." Evil chuckles
followed.
"She'll kill you!"
"By the time she figures out what I've done, I'll be the new God of
War."
More evil chuckles followed as the two nudged their horses into a
gallop.
Trouble just stared into Joxer's terrified eyes as he absorbed what
he'd heard.
******************
"We're not really gonna let those lunatics keep a hind's blood
dagger, are we?" Cupid looked nervously at Hades.
Hades snorted in disgust. "I took the real dagger and destroyed it as
soon as I knew what it was. Callisto was stupid to kill the soldier
spying on her and Braxis when she hid it. He tried to use the
information to bargain his way out of Tartarus. The fool should have
realized that all the dead are under my command. He had no choice in
telling me its location and still serving his sentence in Tartarus."
"Destroyed it, huh?" Cupid smirked.
"I don't need petty mortals sending more of the family down to plague
me, thank you very much. I've had my fill."
Cupid snickered softly at Hades pissed expression. "Strife get to ya?"
"Let's just say I'll be glad when he's back up here." Hades glowered
into the mirror.
*************
"Oh gods, what am I gonna do?" Joxer muttered. "I can't let them kill
Ares. Xena! I'll get Xena and she'll know what to do! Wait, I can't.
There's no time. I've gotta get that dagger myself. Alright, that's
it. I'll get the dagger and save Ares. Now, how'm I gonna get the
dagger and not get killed?"
*************
Part 2
Joxer looked around nervously. He'd discarded his armor and was
wearing his darkest clothing. It'd been ridiculously easy to slip
past the guard on duty. The warrior had fallen into a deep sleep and
hadn't even stirred when he snuck past him. He squinted through the
dark trying to identify Braxis tent. If the warlord was anything like
other warlords, he kept the dagger close to him, which meant in his
tent. There, at the far end of the camp, barely visible in the dim
lighting of the campfire, was a large tent with a raven painted on
the side.
Cautiously making his way around the camp, Joxer wished for the
thousandth time that Xena and Gabrielle were there. The Warrior
Princess had had much more practice at this kind of mission than he
had. Normally that wouldn't bother him, but right now the stakes were
too high.
******************
I'll kill him! I can't believe he did this ta me! He's treatin' me
like a fuckin' animal!
Snarl
Hiss
Thump
The cloth bag twisted round and from the tree limb it was tied to as
Strife tried valiantly to free himself from the bag.
******************
"BwaaaHaaaHaaaHaaaHaaa!" Hades howled, rolling around on the floor.
Cupid rolled his eyes and flicked his finger. The bag Strife was
imprisoned in drifted down from the tree it was tied to, and gently
landed on the ground.
******************
Joxer carefully cut a hole in the rear of the tent. Trying valiantly
not to make any noise, he crept through the opening. Braxis was still
as death, a bloody dagger clutched in his hand. Joxer squinted
through the darkness, trying to see more from the low light provided
from the campfire. Waiting several moments, he watched the warlord's
breathing. After several minutes he was satisfied that the slow even
rythum confirmed that Braxis was asleep.
Cautiously, he moved forward.
In the next instant he was suspended in mid-air with Braxis' hand
squeezing his throat, knife pressed against his chest. "Who are you?
Who sent you?"
Joxer fought to breathe. *Ares… so sorry…failed you…*
****************
Ares head shot up as his eyes lost focus. Something was wrong with
Joxer. Concentrating on his link to his follower he flashed out,
leaving several startled family members shocked by his abrupt
departure. It wasn't every day that Ares left in the middle of an
argument, letting the other god win by default.
****************
Strife cursed Hades once more as he spied the camp. His stubby little
cat legs were taking too long to cover the distance. There's no
telling what kind of trouble Joxer was in.
****************
"Who sent you?!" Braxis growled as he shook Joxer once more.
Ares appeared in a brilliant flash of light at the far end of the
tent, startling the warlord into dropping Joxer.
Braxis couldn't believe his luck. Standing right in front of him was
the very god he'd been wondering how to find. Quickly taking aim, he
launched the dagger.
****************
Strife watched in horror as the dagger hurled through the air at his
uncle. Closing his eyes in dismay, he missed seeing Joxer launch
himself in front of Ares in time to intercept the dagger with his own
body.
****************
"NOOOO!" Ares blasted Braxis, instantly killing the warlord, as he
caught Joxer with his free hand. Carefully, he lowered Joxer to the
ground. "Why did you do that!? I would have been fine!"
"Hind's blood." He gasped, looking up at his god.
Ares flinched as he looked at the dagger. It was a mortal wound, and
no one could heal a wound tainted by hind's blood.
***************
Strife couldn't believe it. Joxer saved Ares.
He abruptly plopped down on his haunches as he panted. This was so
not turning out like he had envisioned. What should have been a
simple little task had become a nightmare.
A strange scent drifted by catching his attention. It was blood…but
not hind's blood and not human blood. It almost smelled like…pig? His
nose twitched as he tried to locate where the smell was coming from.
He glanced around the room, not finding the source, until his eyes
hit upon the dagger.
***************
Suddenly, a small white kitten appeared out of nowhere and ran up to
Joxer's side. It leaned in and sniffed at the wound before Ares could
swat it away. It danced back out of reach, twisted back under his
arm, swiping at the dagger and getting some of its blood on its paw.
Ares tried once more to shoo the cat away. Joxer was resting heavily
in his arms, or he would have just fried the little annoyance.
The kitten lashed out and scratched him with her blood-soaked paw.
Ares flinched his hand back and looked down at it in horror. Several
shocked seconds passed and he still felt nothing.
"Of course you don't feel anything. It's not hind's blood. I
destroyed the original dagger several months ago." Hades announced as
he shimmered into view. The little cat jumped up into his arms and
proceeded to kneed her sharp claws into his godly flesh.
"What are you doing here?" Ares asked in shock.
"I came to collect this one myself. Hurry it up there, would you?" He
snapped impatiently at Joxer.
Ares snapped out of his shocked state and looked suspiciously at his
uncle. "Why are you in such a hurry?"
"Ahh, well…" Hades eyes darted around frantically as tried to convey
a panicked expression. Cupid had emphasized how important this part
of the plan was, and he wasn't going to screw it up. "You know,
places to go, people to inventory…"
"You're lying."
Hades frowned. "Well, if you must know. `Sephie and I have an
arrangement. While she's on Olympus with mommy dearest, I get to have
a favorite until she gets down here and joins me. It's the only way
I'd agree not to petition the Pantheon about Zeus' decision. I've
been waiting on this one for quite some time."
Ares eyes narrowed in anger. "He's mine!"
Hades smirked. "Not for much longer nephew."
Joxer weakly lifted his bloody hand to Ares face. "I… only… wanted …
gasp…serve…you…love"
Ares closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again he looked
straight down into Joxer's eyes. "You're not going to die, Joxer."
Hades snorted. "Good thing they didn't make you the God of Healing.
You'd waste all your time on the doomed ones."
"He's not going to die!" Ares snapped. Holding up his hand he
produced a golden apple.
"Hey! That's cheating!"
"Shut up!"
Ares pressed the apple to Joxer's lips. "Bite down, Joxer."
Joxer opened his mouth and attempted to bite down on the apple.
However, he was too weak.
Ares quickly bit down on the apple and chewed it up. Bending down, he
pressed his lips to Joxer's and dropped the now chewed up apple bits
into his mouth. "Swallow."
Joxer closed his eyes and concentrated all his remaining strength on
swallowing.
Ares quickly withdrew the dagger after he'd made sure Joxer had
swallowed. Frowning at the sluggishly bleeding wound, he chewed up
another bite of apple for Joxer. "Come on, Joxer, a few more bites to
make sure."
Joxer struggled to obey as he fought to stay awake.
"I think you owe me a mortal, Ares." Hades smirked.
Ares looked up at his uncle. "It worked?"
"Well, he's not coming with me."
A bright flash of light illuminated the tent.
"So, you've chosen." Zeus peered at Joxer.
Hera looked at Joxer from head to toe. "This one?"
Ares shot them a cold look before turning back to Joxer.
"Well dear, I think he's got enough raw material to be molded." Zeus
comforted.
"Yes, I suppose."
"What are you talking about?" Hades asked curiously.
"Why, Ares new consort, of course." Zeus said.
"Consort?" Hades played dumb. Cupid had already filled him in on the
apples when they were planning.
"Yes. The mortal he gave the apple to is now his consort." Hera
added. "It was a condition attached to the apples given to Ares,
Eris, Hephaistos, and Hebe when they gained control of their powers.
I wanted them to have free choice over whom they would marry."
"I swore by Styx on our honeymoon that Hera's children would have
their own choice about whom they would marry. Ares offered the apple,
and Joxer accepted it."
"The apple itself is blessed by me, binding them for eternity, and
sealing their marriage."
Ares gently ran his thumb along Joxer's cheek, ignoring the
conversation.
"Huh, well I guess we'll be leaving then. Ready, Strife?"
The kitten growled low in its throat and arched its back at the Lord
of the Underworld.
Hades grinned down at the kitten, stroking her back. "Don't worry.
I'll count it."
"Strife?" Ares shifted Joxer up in his arms.
The kitten turned its head and stared at Joxer. "Meow?"
"You sent Strife back as a cat?" Ares looked at Hades with murder in
his eyes.
"It was one of the conditions to his rebirth as a god. He was
successful in his task as a cat so I shall let him be reborn as a
god."
Zeus winced and rubbed his forehead at Hades smirk.
"Strife was my cat?" Joxer stared in amazement at the kitten.
"Feed him another apple, Ares. It should restore his energy...I think
he'll need it." Hera handed Ares another apple and kissed his
cheek. "There will be a reception for you tomorrow night. Put in an
appearance so Joxer can be introduced formally to the family. Welcome
Joxer. I believe you will be good for my son."
With her command hanging in the air, Zeus and Hera departed.
"I'll let you know when Strife is on his way. See you at the party."
Hades announced as he too departed.
Joxer looked up at Ares. "I'm dreaming, aren't I?"
Ares briefly closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he looked
straight at Joxer and gently kissed him. Pulling back, he smiled with
some amusement. "No, Joxer, you're not dreaming." Ares lifted Joxer
up into his arms, and transported them to his temple.
The entire camp collapsed in flames as soon as the glow signaling
their departure faded.
****************
Ares carefully sat Joxer down in a chair by the fire in his
bedchamber. Pulling the second apple out of his vest, he handed it to
Joxer. "Eat this. I'll prepare you a bath so we can get rid of the
blood."
Joxer looked around wide-eyed as he munched on his apple. This was
the most real dream he'd ever had. Sure Ares said it wasn't a dream,
but he always said that. He was definitely gonna have to do something
nice for Morpheus. This was the best one yet. He couldn't believe all
the details. The room was composed of white marble with dark veins
running through it. A large fireplace with chairs was on one end of
the hall, and at the other was a large bed. It was covered in a mound
of cream silk blankets and pillows.
Ares walked back out of a doorway hidden by the bed and strode back
to him.
"I always thought your bedroom would be darker."
Ares looked around and winced. "I had to redecorate after Apollo told
me that all the black made it impossible to see what he was stitching
up. So, I just made everything as light as possible in here."
"Oh."
Ares bent down and scooped Joxer up into his arms. Swinging around he
walked behind the bed and through a doorway. Inside was a huge room
with murals painted around the walls. Half of the room had steps that
led down into a large pool. At the end of the pool, a waterfall came
out of nowhere and ran down. The water was the clearest that Joxer
had ever seen, and it didn't smell!
"Wow!"
Ares moved into the pool, removing their clothes with a thought. He
let Joxer float out of his arms, and come to his feet. While the
stunned warrior looked all around the room, Ares gently washed the
blood and grime from his body. Satisfied that he'd gotten it all, he
nudged Joxer back up the steps, and gently dried him with a towel.
Taking a robe off one of the pegs lining the wall, Ares wrapped one
around Joxer and another around himself, as he drew Joxer back into
the bedchamber.
Moving to the bed, he pulled Joxer up next to him. He lay down and
curled his body around Joxer's. "Sleep, Joxer. We'll talk in the
morning."
Joxer lay still for several moments before shifting in his arms, and
turning so they were facing each other. He gazed at Ares face for
several minutes then leaned in to hesitantly kiss his lips.
Ares lay very still, letting Joxer take the lead. There were times to
advance and times to retreat, and he wasn't about to start their
relationship off by pushing. He'd learned that lesson during Cupid's
formative years, and it wasn't one he was going to repeat.
Joxer touched his lips to Ares, in a series of soft hesitant kisses,
each one becoming longer, fuller, and deeper than the last. Finally,
he broke the kisses and simply stared into Ares eyes. Finding no
objections there, he pressed slow kisses all along the War God's lips
and jaw, working his way down to his chest, combing his fingers
through the hair there. He lavished his tongue on each nipple,
bringing it into a tight thrusting bud while he ran his fingers along
the muscled chest, memorizing the taunt flesh. Moving along, he
flicked his tongue around and down into Ares navel, grinning at the
sharply inhalation and slight tremor that passed through the body
beneath him. Shifting slightly, he lightly skimmed his hands down the
front of Ares thighs watching them fall open to him while he tongue-
fucked the sensitive navel in his path. Joxer then used the tips of
his fingers and ran them up and down the back insides of Ares'
thighs, watching his lover's cock harden even further.
"I need some oil."
"Joxer, you don't have to do this…"
Joxer simply looked up at Ares, meeting his eyes. "Oil."
Ares held out his hand and a small pot of oil appeared in it. Bending
up slightly, he handed the oil to Joxer.
Joxer dipped his hand in the oil and teasingly ran it around Ares
bottom, taking care to avoid his cock and balls. Taking one hand he
circled it around the surging erection, and lightly slicked the base.
Using his other hand he cupped the taunt balls, and occasionally
slipped a finger down to tease his perineum. Looking up into Ares
eyes, he flicked his tongue over the tip then around the head.
Flicking his tongue across the head once again, Joxer leaned further
down and engulfed the cock in his mouth sucking firmly.
Ares closed his eyes and arched his hips in response; low growling
noises escaping his throat.
Joxer used his tongue to infrequently press against the large vein on
the bottom of Ares cock. He felt Ares legs start to tremble, and used
the hand cupping his balls to tease some of the oil around the small
pucker. Quickly dipping his fingers back down into the oil, he
brought them back up and carefully pressed inside.
A strangled scream erupted sounded throughout the room as Ares lost
control and came into Joxer's mouth.
Joxer swallowed as much as he could before he drew back and let some
of the semen escape onto Ares stomach. Throwing a wicked grin at
Ares, he used the two of his fingers still inside Ares to find the
hidden nub and stroke it.
While Ares was preoccupied with the jolts of pleasure shooting
through his brain, Joxer quickly oiled his cock with his free hand,
pushed Ares knees up, and exchanged his fingers for his cock.
Ares grunted in discomfort as Joxer slid inside.
Joxer looked up sharply. "Ares?"
Several seconds passed as Ares forced his body to relax. "It's
alright. Its just strange being on this end."
"What do you mean?" Joxer started to pull back.
"No, wait." Ares gripped Joxer by the arms, stopping his
retreat. "I've never let anyone do this to me. I always thought it
would show weakness. But, I want you to."
Joxer leaned forward again and pressed Ares knees back up to his
chest. He quickly pressed a kiss against the War God's lips before
finding his position. Slowly, he started to thrust.
Ares groaned as he felt Joxer's cock massaging his insides. The
fullness was incredible. He inhaled sharply, fingers whitening on his
knees, as Joxer found his special spot.
Joxer grinned at the sound. Shifting slightly, he picked up his
speed, hitting the swollen nub with each thrust. Being careful to
keep his balance, he brought one arm around and stroked Ares leaking
cock.
Ares couldn't stand it. Throwing back his head he roared as he came
once more.
The tightness was too much, and with a groan Joxer gave into his
release. He slowly withdrew, feeling Ares legs come down so he was
resting on top of the gasping War God.
"Ares?"
"Yes, Joxer."
"I usually wake up now."
Ares chuckled, his chest vibrating Joxer's body. "This isn't a dream,
Joxer."
Joxer reared back and sat straight up, his breathing becoming harsh
and panicked. Ares came up beside him and wrapped his arms around
him, rubbing circles on his back until he calmed down.
"I don't understand."
"We're married, Joxer. For eternity."
Joxer blinked several times. "Why?"
"What?"
"Why did you pick me? Despite what everyone thinks I'm not a fool!
You could have anyone!"
"I know you're not a fool, Joxer. You're just young and
inexperienced. As to why I picked you…you're mine, Joxer. Hades
wasn't taking you from me."
"You married me so Hades couldn't get me?"
"That's part of it. I'd always planned to keep my strongest worshiper
around. I figured it would help me survive when the Twilight
eventually came. I don't ever remember having one as strong as you
are. You've already proven you'll risk your life for me. When I
thought you were going to die, it made me realize that my feelings
for you are much deeper than I thought. I love you, Joxer. I couldn't
stand the thought of facing each day without you. You're the only one
who's been able to make me laugh in ages." He tilted Joxer's face up
at his downcast look. "I don't laugh at you, Joxer. I said it before;
I don't think you're a fool. You just have a unique way of looking at
the world. You make me enjoy little things I'd overlooked with my
age. You don't know how rare that is. It's one of the reasons I
wouldn't let Strife have you. At first I protected you for him when
you were young. But later…after I got to know you, you became
important to me. That's why I directed you towards Xena. I'd hoped
she'd help you learn or at least protect you. But she turned away
from me again and again. That didn't matter though. No matter what
Xena and anyone else have said about me, or even what you've
witnessed with your own eyes, you've never turned away from me. In
spite of everything you love me."
"I knew it wasn't all you were. I knew from Strife how hard it is to
be a god, especially in the House of War. He told me stories about
you, you know?"
"No, I didn't."
"Yeah. I helped him do stuff when I was little. He was the only one,
other than my brothers, who'd listen to what I had to say. After I
was through talking, he'd try to help me. I'd loved listening to him.
He'd tell me stories all about you the other gods, and your lives.
How you took care of him when his mom had one of her fits. He told me
how much he loved you, and how much you loved him. That's how I knew
Xena and the others were wrong. They didn't know you."
Ares rolled slightly so he was cuddling Joxer next to him. "You'll
have plenty of time to know everything you ever wanted to know about
me, Joxer. But right now, you need to sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a
long day."
Joxer relaxed into Ares arms, letting Morpheus claim him for the
first time that night.
****************
The Next Night
"Do you have any idea why Cupid and Hades have been standing in a
corner smirking at me all night?"
Aphrodite glanced over. "No, but now that you mention it, they have
been awful close lately."
"Lets go see what they're up to. Besides, you still need to formally
introduce me to Cupid and Bliss." Joxer suggested.
"'Dite, would you come get Bliss in a few moments."
Ares and Joxer made their way over to the two gods.
"Ganpa!" Bliss squealed from his perch on Cupid's shoulders.
"Hey there, Bliss. I want to tell you something."
Bliss flew down and into his grandfather's arms. "This is Joxer. He's
your grandpa now, too."
Bliss looked up wide-eyed at Joxer. "Ganpa, too?"
"Yeah."
"Cooo!"
Aphrodite came up behind them. "Bliss honey, Hera has some sweet
cakes for you."
Bliss flew from Ares arms over to Aphrodite's, letting her take him
to the cakes.
Ares made sure they were far enough away before turning back to the
two smirking gods. "You two have been standing over here all night
smirking at up. I want to know why."
"Well, I was just about to take my leave, Ares, but if you insist…"
Ares glowered at Hades.
Hades smirked at him. Bringing his goblet up, he cleared his throat
so everyone would be able to hear him. "My congratulations to the
newly married couple. I hope you enjoy my gift. May the three of you
know nothing but happiness." Hades drank quickly as everyone looked
on in confusion. Throwing one last smirk at Ares, he departed for the
Underworld.
Ares face went blank. "He wouldn't."
"Ares, what did he mean by the three of us?"
"He did." Cupid erupted in chuckles.
"MOTHER!"
Hera rushed over at Ares panicked shout.
"Quick, feel!" He brought her hands to rest on his abdomen.
Hera looked slightly puzzled as she reached out with her powers.
Inhaling sharply, she stepped back in shock. "Zeus, release Eris. She
no longer has a reason to attack Hades."
Ares swayed in shock.
"Ares?"
"We're having Strife, Joxer."
"Actually, son, there are three in there, and one of them is Strife."
Hera quickly covered the floor in cloudlike pillows as both Ares and
Joxer fainted.
The End
**For anyone who's curious where this story came from…My little black
cat, Dinky, has to be one of the biggest mischief makers I know.
She's the only animal I've owned who can turn on a light switch,
located 3 feet in the air, and knock on a door. She inspired this
story when she flicked the hall light on at 3am one night, scaring
the crap out of me.
Epilogue
"I don't like it, Xena. I'm worried about him. We haven't seen him in
months and there's been no sign of him."
"I know Gabrielle. I'm worried too."
Xena stopped abruptly, and held up her arm, signaling Gabrielle to
wait. The Warrior Princess looked around sharply, scanning for the
source of the raised hairs on the back of her neck. She jumped back
into Gabrielle when a burst of blue smoke exploded to reveal Joxer.
"Opps. Sorry. I was just trying out my new wristband."
"Joxer!" Gabrielle ran over and grabbed him in a hug as Xena eyed him
warily.
"How'd you do that, Joxer?"
Gabrielle abruptly let go and stepped back as she suddenly realized
Joxer had materialized out of thin air.
"Oh, that. Well, Zeus gave me this wristband he and Hephaistos made
for me. He told me I should probably get used to using it so I can
track down the babies when they start poofing."
"Poofing?" Gabrielle frowns at the word.
"Well, yeah, you know, the whole god thing."
"Babies?"
Joxer looked at Xena nervously. "Caught that, did ya?"
"Zeus!? Oh, Joxer. You didn't! Come on, we have to get you somewhere
safe. Hercules! We need to find Hercules. He'll know what to do.
Don't worry, Joxer. We won't let *her* get you!"
Joxer scratched his head, bewildered by Gabrielle's rambling. "Who
get me? Gabby, what are you talking about?"
"Joxer, you know what *she* does to *his* lovers!"
"Huh?"
Gabrielle grabbed Joxer by the arm and started to march him down the
road. "Come on, Xena!" She shouted back to the immobile woman.
"Gabrielle!" Xena shouted, trying to stop the bard. "Don't you think
we should hear the whole story before we run off for Hercules?"
Gabrielle let go of Joxer and looked at him expectantly.
"Joxer, are you in any danger?"
"Uh, no Xena."
"Good. Now, where have you been? Where are your clothes? Where's
Trouble?"
Joxer scratched his head, not sure where to start. Shrugging to
himself, he decided to start when he left them and started out on his
own all those months ago.
***********
"Hey pops! How ya doin?"
Ares shot a dark look at his son. "I'm fat and I've been on my back
for three weeks! How do you think I'm doing?"
"Okay, cool. Can I feel?" Cupid let the sarcasm fly over his head,
anxious to feel his sibs again.
Ares rolled his eyes briefly, before turning his attention back to
the projection of the battle near Messene. Absently, he lifted his
shirt, letting his bulging belly show. "Fine. Just don't block my
view."
Cupid carefully sat himself down next to his father. He placed his
hand over the bulge and opened himself to feeling the babies' life
forces.
"You know, I think I've finally discovered just the thing to keep
Eris focused." Ares murmured, watching the battle intently.
"Huh?" Cupid broke the link, and turned to look at the viewing
mirror.
"She just needs a good cause. Right now she doesn't want anything to
happen to Strife, so she's keeping her focus. She hasn't tried to
kill anybody in a good two months. And she only mauled Deimos a
little last week. I don't think he'll scar too badly."
Cupid grimaced, as Eris was show viciously slashing a warlord. "I
guess. I mean, she's been working with Phobos, Deimos, and Athena for
the last several months and hasn't tried to *seriously* kill any of
them. That's gotta be some kind of record! Why Strife said she was a
real bitch if she didn't get the goods on at least one god every few
months. He always said the sight of blood made her smile. I know
she's his mother, but I just never thought she cared that much for
Strife."
"They always bicker and fight, but they do love each other, son. Some
of us just have a harder time showing it." Ares attention jumped back
to the battle scene. "That's it Eris, gut him! I always hated
Farstus. Oh, look at the look on Athena's face! She's pissed!
Hahahahaha!!"
Cupid flinched away from the mirror. Battles just weren't his thing.
Ares grunted in pain. Suddenly, his arm clenched up around his
belly. "Cupid." He gasped.
Cupid looked at his father in shock. "What's wrong?! APOLLO!! HERA!!"
He screamed when Ares didn't answer.
Apollo and Hera flashed into the room and took in the situation in a
glance.
"Got too excited, did you?" Apollo shook his head in annoyance. "You
know this means we're gonna have to do it the bloody way."
"Shut up and help me or I'll rip your balls off and shove them down
your throat!" Ares growled as his body clenched in pain.
Hera walked over and sat down at her son's side, grabbing his
arm. "Where's Joxer?" She asked noticing that he was missing.
"Testing his wristband." Ares whispered, feeling some of the pain
leaving his body at his mother's touch.
*Joxer, we need you. The babies are coming.*
****************
Joxer was in the middle of a three-way hug when he felt the call.
Immediately he panicked and flashed to Olympus, taking Xena and
Gabrielle with him.
"I was gone for twenty minutes and you started watching the war,
didn't you!" Joxer yelled, visibly upset.
Ares shuddered and threw Joxer a wounded expression. "I only watched
for a minute."
"Don't even try that look with me. You knew this would happen if you
got too excited."
Gabrielle and Xena watched in shock at the God of War pouted, his
lower lip quivering, and let *Joxer* bawl him out.
Ares sniffed, and Joxer threw him and exasperated look. He walked
over, and gently positioned Ares head and shoulders against his body,
so he was cradling him. Joxer nuzzled his cheek against Ares dark
hair, breathing deeply. "You can never do things the easy way, can
you? A few more weeks and you could have shifted forms and the babies
would have been strong enough to detach themselves from you. Now,
you're gonna be confined to bed for at least a month while you heal.
And this time, I'm gonna watch you like a hawk."
Ares winced in protest. Suddenly, he grabbed onto Joxer's arm,
clenching it tightly, as another wave of pain rocked his body.
"It's time. Hera, I'll try to go quickly, but you'll need to deaden
as much of the pain as you can. We must hurry or he'll bleed to
death. Cupid, you stand back there with those two," He pointed to
Xena and Gabrielle. "until I call for you to each take a baby."
Cupid walked over to Xena and Gabrielle, kicking himself for choosing
today to visit. He always got nauseous when he saw Ares' blood. His
father didn't get wounded all that often, but when he did, it
reminded Cupid how mortal Ares could be compared to the other gods.
Apollo took his knife and cut into Ares' abdomen. Cupid turned to
find Xena watching attentively. Catching Gabrielle's eye, he motioned
her closer.
"So, you guys forgave Joxer for consorting with the enemy?"
Gabrielle looked at Joxer, arms wrapped around Ares, face serious and
full of concern. "Yeah. I don't have to like Ares to still be Joxer's
friend. Gods know, he's gonna need some being married to Ares. Its
like Xena said, Ares loves his children, and he wouldn't be having
Joxer's if this was a plot to hurt us through him. Seeing how they
acted together when we first arrived, I know Ares cares for him. All
I want is for Joxer to be happy. Besides, if Ares hurts him, we'll
kick his ass."
"Cupid!" Apollo snapped.
Cupid rushed over to pick up the baby.
"Behold Bella, Goddess of Strategy." Hera intoned, her voice echoing
throughout Olympus.
Cupid backed away holding his sister.
"Xena!" Apollo snapped again.
Xena hurried forward.
"Behold Reas, God of Tactics."
"Gabrielle!" Apollo snapped for the final time, as Xena moved away.
"Behold Strife, Reborn God of Mischief."
Gabrielle held out her arms and carried the baby back to where Cupid
was gently washing the other two.
Apollo quickly stitched up the gaping wound in Ares womb. Pressing
his hand over the skin, he concentrated on sending healing energy
deep into the body on the bed.
Hera looked up at Apollo. "Are you done?"
Apollo nodded in exhaustion. "Don't let him move until I come back
tomorrow." He instructed Joxer, and then flashed away to his temple
to recover.
Cupid, Gabrielle, and Xena moved back to the bed. Hera had blankets
and cribs waiting for all the children.
Suddenly, the baby in Gabrielle's arms let out a wail of protest, and
a small arc of yellow sprayed the bard.
"That's my Strife." Ares whispered, laying back in his husband's
arms, realizing that the heavy weight that had been pressing in on
him since Strife's death had finally lifted. *I love you, Joxer.*
*I love you, too, Ares. Thank you.* Joxer replied, smiling at his
three children.
The End.
Right now I've got two stories waiting on my machine that are begging
for attention. I couldn't seem to get inspired to do a sequel, the
other two story lines kept interupting, so I hope the epilogue will
suffice.
Thanks again for feeding my feedback monster.