Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Title: PB & J (Peanut Butter and Joxer, the exchange student response to Christine’s Everyday Challange)
Author: Tequila Worm
Fandom: Herc/Xenaverse
Pairing: A/J, C/S (but I don’t think that any smut is gonna make it in)
Warnings: This is the story of Joxer Cutie, American exchange student to Denmark. It isn’t real, it never happened (even if everything that happens to poor Joxer happened to me. The other experineces happened to my friends), and more’s the pity, because I think that Joxer would have made a great exchange student. Oh, and I managed to creep in here as a MarySue. I’m sorry. I didn’t do it on purpose!
Disclaimer: They ain’t mine, I’m just playin’ with ‘em. Don’t sue, I’m an exchange student. I have no money.
Notes: I just want you all to know that being an exchange student is great, but honestly, the idiodicy and stereo types are ridiculous!
Summary: Joxer goes to Denmark.
“Mom!!! Mom!!! Guess what!! I get to go to Denmark for my exchange! Isn’t that great? I am so excited. TW is going to, and we are gonna have so much fun!” Joxer Cutie bounced into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. Mrs. Cutie grinned at her son, but didn’t pause in her stirring.
“Of course that’s great, but how do you know that TW is going to Denmark, too? Was it her that called on the phone?”
“Yeah, it was, and I was all depressed and everything that she had heard and I hadn’t, but then Mr. Radish beeped in, and told me that I was going there, too. Isn’t this totally awesome?” With that, Joxer bounded back out of the kitchen, leaving his mother to cook in peace.
~6 months later~
”Joxer, are you SURE that you have everything that you need? I mean, I can always send them to your counselor’s house once you get out of your language camp. You only have to send them home again when you are done, you know. You don’t necessarily have to keep them with you.” Mrs. Cutie was all nervous and scared. Her baby was leaving her for a year, after all, and she wouldn’t be there to protect him.
“Chill, Mrs. C., I’ll be there to take care of him!” TW came up behind Joxer and slung her arm over his shoulder. “You don’t have to worry about him.”
Joxer’s mother smiled gratefully at the tall blonde standing next to her son. “Thank you, TW, I know that you will.” She looked at her watch. “Oh, my Hades, look at that. You two had better go through security now. Take care!” She gave them both hugs, and a kiss on the cheek apiece, and sent them up to the metal detectors.
TW got through just fine, nothing happening at all when she went through, but then, she remembered to take off her blazer. Joxer didn’t, and had to go back through, take off the pinned jacked, send it through the x-ray machine, and try again.
Once they made it through the security point, they turned and waved one more time at Mrs. Cutie, then walked to their flight terminal, where they were met by 20 other exchange students, all on their way to Demark.
~10 hours later~
“Ladies, and gentlemen, please put your seatbacks and tray tables in an upright and locked position, and make sure that your seatbelts are fastened. We will be landing in Copenhagen International Airport in about ten minutes. Thank you for choosing SAS for your travels. Have a nice say.” The PA system clicked off, and TW winced as Joxer squeezed her hand even harder.
“We’re almost there, we’re almost there, we’re almost there. Gods, I can’t believe that I’m finally here! This is so exciting. I’m going to be an exchange student. This is so exciting.” Joxer all but bounced in his seat as he watched the ground of a new contry getting closer and closer to him.
TW just smiled tolerantly, and leaned back in her chair. She had never liked landing, and didn’t think that she was about to start now.
The plane landed, and Joxer was looking around frantically. He searched through the pocket in the seat in front of him, his bags that he had kept with him, his carry on that was in the over head compartment, his blazer pockets, and then he did it all again. He was starting to look a little panicked, when TW asked him what was wrong.
“I can’t find my passport or baggage claim tickets! I won’t be able to get in the country!” he looked terrified.
“Calm down. Did you have them when you got on the plane?”
“Yeah, I did. I know that I did, because i had to have the ticket envelope with everything in it to get onto the plane.”
“Then it’s on the plane somewhere, and we just have to figure out where.” TW commenced searching.
The pair of them looked for about 5 minutes before Joxer got an inspiration, and looked in his journal. Sure enough, marking his place, were his passport and ticket envelope. He grinned sheepishly at TW, who just snorted, and they got off the plane. ((They were actually in my make-up bag, but I couldn’t have one of those for Joxer, now could I?))
Going through to get his passport stamped, his baggage, attempting to get his money changed, but being pulled away before he got to the window, all that went uneventful. He was a little nervous when they passed the customs officials, but they didn’t stop him, and only gave him a dirty look.
All 22 students, exhausted, and starting to feel the effects of jet lag piled onto the coach bus that had been sent for them, after stowing all their baggage…somehow…underneath the bus. The bus was fairly silent, very little noise being made, with the exception of a few exclamations about how odd it was to see another language on the signs above the highway, about how fast the people drove, and questions about what those strange things that looked like airplane propellers on sticks were.
“Where are we going anyway?” asked a small dark-haired girl, who was wearing shoes with flames on them that Joxer had never seen before.
“Language camp. Some place called Lingbee, I think. That’s as close as I’m guessing about how to pronounce it, anyway.” Joxer shrugged. “It’s spelled L-y-n-g-b-y. it’s an agriculture school , near the town of Roskilde.”
“Oh.” That was all she said, but the look she shot him was one that seemed to say, “Well, aren’t you a know-it-all? I think that I’m going to steer clear of you!”
A couple of minutes later, they pulled into a driveway, and then up to the oddest school that he had ever seen. It looked just like a normal building, and there was nothing to indicate that it WAS a school. A couple of men came out of the school, one of them waving both arms, the other just smiling benignly.
((I’m switching around the places where the guys stayed and where the girls stayed. As a female, I only know what a prolonged stay on the girls side was like. I visited the guys, of course, so I know what it’s like, but…))
As all the students piled off the bus, the girls were directed towards a series of buildings that looked like they could be one story dormitories. The guys were ushered into the school itself.
“Hallo, I am Beeyarnie Annasen. I am Rotary Danmark youth counseelor. I have din, exca-uze me, your room assigenments here, if you would come forward one at a time.” ((I did the best I could. That’s really how he sounds))
The boys looked at each other, trying to figure out what it was he ad said. Just then, an incredible attractive young man walked into the room, all muscle and yumminess ((no, not Ares, not yet)). “He said go get your room assignments from him.” The voice was fairly deep, and DEFINATLY pleasant to listen to.
One of the girls had walked back in, hoping to talk to Beeyarnie about her room assignment. “WOW!! If that’s what guys in Denmark look like, I am DEFINATLY glad that I came.” Her voice fell in a suddenly quiet room. The girl blushed beet red as the Danish guy looked at her, amused. She turned, and ran back out of the room, followed by slightly nervous laughter.
Privately, Joxer agreed with her, but he wasn’t about to say that out loud. Instead, he made his way forward, and took his room key.
“You arrre eeen D23. Your name ees on thee door.” The woman who handed him the key smiled at him, but didn’t say anything. Joxer smiled back and went outside to grab his luggage.
It turned out that his new home for the next 2 weeks was up a fairly steep set of stairs, so he had to drag up his suitcases, one by one, then dragging them down the hallway. Unlocking the door, Joxer was greeted by a rather unpleasant smell of cow manure. *sigh*
Joxer stared around his room, trying to decide if he was thrilled to find himself in Denmark, or if he was just plain scared to death. He moved forward, through the small entry way into the sleeping area itself, and decided that he was thrilled. He had a great view of a horse pasture, with at least six gorgeous horses grazing, a balcony that he coud sit on...if he weren't afraid of heights..., a desk, a bed...wait, a bed? He didn't have to share?
He wasn't quite sure how he felt about that. It would be nice to have a room of his own while he was here, a place to hide, like he inevitably would, but it would also be nice to have a roomate for a couple of weeks, someone to commiserate with, and kind of have a built in study buddy, since he'd heard that Danish was insanely difficult.
He set his suitcases on the floor, and looked around, wandering into the bathroom, noting the showerhead on the wall, but lack of handle. *Hmmm, wonder how that works* he mused, before walking back into the little hallway, and sliding the door aside. Revealed to him was a closet, while the bathroom wound up closed off.
"Well, that's weird," he said outloud, grabbing his room key, and heading back out the door. He wanted to see what else was going on in this place.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Joxer stepped out of his bathroom, having spent five minutes to figure out that the sink turned on the shower, through means of a little switch he had to turn, cleaned and feeling much better. He'd felt grimy and lethargic after spending so much time in the airport and on the plane. He pulled on a pair of khakis, a summer weight white sweater, put his glasses on his face, and his sneakers on his feet and went down to see what kind of food he could scrounge up.
He found his way downstairs, after getting lost and winding up outside, eventually realizing that the faint humming he heard was actually people talking. He followed that noise, and found food, in the form of bread and cold cuts, some cheese and some fruits and veggies. Not the fanciest of fare, but it was filling, and strangely good.
Joxer wandered around for a few hours, talking to various people that looked interesting, exploring the grounds and finding a few places he'd like to sit in and write, then wandering towards the girls dorms to see if TW was around.
Joxer was sitting, sipping at a mug of tea, watching various people walk by his table. Dinner had been very simple, really just a few platters of what looked to be lunchmeats, some vegetables, and some bread and butter. There had been a very watered down juice to drink, but one sip and Joxer had decided that water was the route to go.
He looked up when a very pretty Asian girl sat down in front of him. He smiled shyly, holding up his mug of tea.
“You should try it. It’s really good,” he said, pointing at the dispensers behind her.
She smiled herself, a very tentative, weak smile, and poured her own mug of tea. She sat down again at the table, and they proceeded to have a slow and careful conversation, all about their trips to the camp and what it was like for them at home.
Akiko, which was the girl’s name, was a few years younger than himself, and this was her first time away from home. Before he could say anything about being careful of homesickness, a sleepy looking girl sat down next to him.
“Hi,” said Joxer, wondering vaguely why she looked like she has just showered and gotten dressed. *Duh, Jox, maybe because she did?*
She looked at him blearily. “Do you know what time we’ll be going into town? I really want to go back to sleep.”
Akiko was quiet, obviously trying to translate to herself. Joxer took care to speak slowly so that she would be able to understand.
“We’ll go into town tomorrow, where we’ll change our money at the bank. Why don’t you go and try and get some sleep? I think that breakfast is at 9,” said Joxer.
The girl looked startled. “Tomorrow? I thought we were going today. Oh, I’m Stacey, by the way.”
“Hi, Stacey, I’m Joxer. We can’t go today, it’s already 9:30 pm.” Then a thought occurred to him as he glanced out the window. “You thought that it was morning, didn’t you? You showered and got dressed, thinking that it was Tuesday.”
Stacey nodded, looking from Joxer’s face to the window. “You mean…the sun hasn’t SET yet?! It’s still MONDAY?!”
Akiko nodded, pointing. “Higher latitude. Longer day.”
Stacey looked stunned while Joxer stifled laughter. Stacey glared at him for a moment before bursting into giggles herself.
“I can’t believe I did that!” she stammered, holding her sides. “I wonder how long the sun stays up?”
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Four hours later, Joxer could answer Stacey’s question. The sun DIDN’T set, not completely. For a Midwestern boy who had grown up with set times for sunset and sunrise, having it be pitch GRAY outside was very disturbing.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Showered and dressed, Joxer walked along the empty corridors of the dorms, headed for the dining hall. It was 8 am, and just could not stay in his room anymore. He’d showered, taking a long time to shave, washing his hair, and just generally pampering himself. Of course, he’d done all of that AFTER he remembered how to turn on the shower.
He had sat at his desk for an hour, writing letters and an entry into his journal, determined to write in it every day in order to not forget what was going on. He didn’t want to go home and not know what something was, or the details of what had happened.
Joxer wandered around for 15 minutes, before settling in the TV area, staring blankly into space. He was startled when someone walked in and sat next to him, but didn’t say anything when he saw that it was just TW. She leaned against him and closed her eyes…
…only to jump about three feet into the air when a voice came over the PA system.
“Good MORNING my leetle esc-change students. Eet ees time to get up!! Up!! UP!!!!”
tbc