AresJoxerCupidStrife - TequilaWorm

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25

Title: Peace, Love, and Bulletproof Marshmallows

Author: Tequila Worm

Fandom: Herc/Xenaverse

Pairing: A/J C/S A/? J/? C/? S/?

Rating: NC-17

Disclaimer: I don't own them, more's the pity. However, if I break them, I bought them...and their value depriciates as well...anyone wanna chip n? i promise that I'll play nice and share them

Warning: This is such a sillyfic that it borders on badfic, i think. At some point or another, I think that a MarySue wandered in. There are popreferneces...ones that I just couldn't resist, and if Hephy ever DID create a bb love gun, it's no wonder the Greeks treated their gods badly, then handed them oer to the Romans. Also, this part is unbeta'ed, so every mistake is mine

Feedback: well, of COURSE! Any and all...flames teach me to write better, and good ones get me to write more!

Archive: AJCS, Joxerotica, of course. Anyone else, ask, and you shall receive.

Spoilers: *blank look* what're those? I live in an alternate reality from everyone else, what make you think that my stories follow canon?

Dedication: Mirai, KiwiJess, and my mommy (*grin*), and for all those little boys and girls that need a sillyfic

Notes: *actions* {thought-speak} ~noise~

Summary: Cupid has a new toy and he decides to try it out on the boys.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hephaestus was drunk. No, he wasn't drunk. He was plastered. Slammed. Smashed. Schnockered. So high that he felt like a cloud. He'd been helping Aphrodite taste test the wine for her upcoming festival, and then he had gone to help Ares with the same task...and then Apollo...and then Zeus, and finally, Athena. When Athena had cornered him, asking for her help, he has been a bt surprised, unti he realized that there was no way she would be albe to command several thousand MALE troops without letting them get drunk at least once in a while.

After helping 5 gods and goddesses sample all their casks of wine, all inhibitions were gone...nah, SHATTERED. Heph could barely walk, staggering all over the place. Somehow, perhaps through instinct and memory, the god made it to his forge.

~CLANG~ Heph raised his head to see what he had hit. There was some strange metal box, sitting on his anvil...what...what was it? He lurched forwad enough to grab the box, and swung it open on it's hinges. Ahhh, it was for Cupid's arrow shafts and heads.

Hephaestus snickered. Shafts and heads. He'd have to remember to tell 'Dite that her son played with shafts and heads.

Starting to fiddle with is pieces of scrap metal, absently melting and molding them, Heph was unaware of any passing time, even more oblivious to the fact that he was actually making something.

As the hours passed, the god began to sober, rather rapidly, considering, and noticed that he was actually making something, a something that he had never seen before, except for in a dream he had had a few nights ago. It was sleek and sliver, thin and narrow at the front, joining to a rather complicated...complicated...well, he didn't know what it was, but it had a handle, and what looked like a little hammer on the end. It looked a bit lethal, truth be told, and he really wondered what it was.

Slipping back into his creative trance, stonger since he was a bit more aware of it this time around, Hephaestus began creating tiny little beads, using a mixture of the last of his scrap metal and some of Cupid's special metal, the stuff heph used for his arrowheads. The metal was charmed by Aphrodite and Cupid, what Strife called the Hard Stuff. Heph assumed that he meant the concentrated love, but with Eris' brat, you just never knew.

Heph didn't realize how long he had been in his temple, working at his forge, until Cupid flashed in with Bliss in his arms.

"Gwanpa!" cried the little godling, and launched himself at the god. "I missed you!!" *smooch*

Heph grinned. "I missed you, too, Bliss. What are you doing here with your daddy?" he looked at Cupid, slightly confused as to his presence here.

"Mom was a little concerned when you didn't come home last night. Athena told her that she has seen you staggering towards your forge when you left her place yesterday, so I thought that I would come here,and see if you were still here." He gave is stepfather a pointed look, not mentioning the fact that his mother was just a might miffed that her husband had not informed her of where he was.

Hephaestus blanched. "I...I, um...heh..." he trailed of at the amused look on his stepson's face. He rather thought that Cupid was enjoying this.

"It's ok, Heph, I don't think that she minds too much." he caught sight of what Bliss was playing with, what Hephaestus had been making all night. "Heph, what is this?" He pulled the rather dangerous looking thing out of his son's hands, and examined it.

The other god looked vaugly uncomfortable. "To tell you the truth, I'm not really sure. I dreamed it up a couple of nights ago, and made it last night...I think it shoots these," he said, holding up one of th pellets, "but I'm not completely sure. I made the bb's out of normal metal, and some of yours. I think that i was planning on giving it to you. So here."

Hephaestus handed the finished...thing...and the rather heavy sack of pellets to Cupid. "Here, take these. You're the best shot I know. This thing is meant to fire off these, I just am not comepletely sure how. I'm sure that you can figure it out." With that, he picked up Bliss and flashed out of his temple, leaving behind a rather bewildered love god.



Cupid was still staring at the silver thing in his hand when is his mother came looking for him an hour later. She snorted when she saw the look on his face, one of confusion with a slight dollop of awe, causing the blond God to look up.

"Cupie, what happened? Hephy and Bliss came back an hour ago. Hephy said that you were right here when he left, and he assumed that you would be right behind him. What gives?" She hadn’t completely registered what was in her son’s hand until he held it up.

"This does, Mom. Heph made it last night, and he just gave it to me. I’m not even sure what it is, much less what to do with it." He looked at the love goddess in bewilderment. "I mean, what does it do? Heph said that he made these for it," and here, Cupid held up the heavy bag of pellets, "and he said that he made them out of his normal metal and the love metal that he uses for my arrowheads, but what am I supposed to do with them?"

His mother shrugged. "I don’t know, sweetie. Why don’t you ask your father? That thing looks a little like a weapon, and you know that’s his specialty." She smiled in delight. "Take Bliss and Zephyr with you. Bliss wants to see his grandfather just as much as Ares wants to see him, and I know that Joxer wouldn’t mind seeing either of them."

Cupid grinned back, feeling slightly relieved that his mother had come up with such a sensible suggestion. "Sure, Mom, I’ll even take Strife with me. He hasn’t been able to transport very well since Zephyr got here. That little goddess took more out of him than he’s been willing to admit." Cupid smiled proudly at the thought of his husband and new baby daughter.

Aphrodite’s grin grew bigger, if that was possible. It already looked large enough to swallow up a small village. Something was up and Cupid could sense it. He just didn’t know what "it" was. He didn’t really care to find out at the moment, either.

Leaving his mother behind in her husband’s temple, Cupid zapped himself into the bedroom that he shared with his husband.

"Strife? Strife, are you here?" Cupid looked around the apparently deserted room, looking for the black haired god. Not seeing him anywhere, he made his way into the nursery, the only other place that Mischief would be.

Sure enough, there sat the godling, a tiny bundle of pink blankets held gently against his chest, holding up a bottle. Cupid did a double take. Where on earth had that come from?

"Uh, Strife? Love? Where on earth did THAT come from?" Cupid asked, pointing at the thing filled with a white substance being held to his daughter’s mouth. He knew that Strife would never hurt the little girl, but all the same, if he was doing something that could harm her later, and he didn’t know it, then…

"Oh, hi, Cupe. I didn’t even see you come in. C’mon over here and le’me show ya what ‘Sephie brought us." He carefully pulled the…what WAS that thing, anyway…out of Zephyr’s mouth and held it up. What Cupid saw was a round tube like thing, with a slight bend in it that made it look a little like a tree branch, filled with a vaguely cream colored liquid.

"Strife," Cupid began weakly, sitting down on the nearest object, which happened to be an absurdly small rocking horse that looked like Argo. Xena had sent it when she heard of Zephyr’s birth. "Strife, what is it?"

"I think ‘Sephie said that it’s called a bottle. Somethin’ that all women use in the future to feed their kids. Down in Hades, some guy called…wha’d she say….Gerber? Anyway, some guy named Gerber, or somethin’ like tha’ gave this, 5 others, and a coupla metal things wi’ what he called formula in ‘em. She took ‘em to her mom and Hera, an’ they said that they were for feedin’ babies. ‘Sephie knew that we’ve been havin’ a hard time getting’ Zephyr to take goat’s milk from tha skin, so she brought ‘em to me." He smiled blissfully down at his tiny daughter. "She loves ‘em."

Cupid just watched the scene, rather weakly. His daughter was sucking down a milk substitute from a…what was that…a bottle, given to Persephone by a dead guy, and she seemed to love it. She was Strife’s daughter, all right.



"JOXER!!! WHERE ARE THE DIAPERS?!?!" Ares had a slightly frantic tone in his voice, which might have been because of the tiny goddess he was holding down, the one that was naked as the day she was born, and trying madly to squirm away.

Joxer bustled into the room, carrying two more baby girls, each of them sound asleep, each of them identical to each other and to the baby on the table. "Ares, they are right where they’ve always been, next to the damp cloths, underneath the second shelf." Joxer pointed with his toe as he sat down in the nearest rocking chair.

Ares looked. And then he blushed. "Oh," was all he said, but his face said enough. Joxer couldn’t remember the last time he had seen his husband blush like that, not and let anyone but him live to see it.

Pulling out a fresh diaper, and swathing his daughter in it, closing it with a little zap of power. He carefully picked up the tiny goddess-and the diaper promptly fell off. The growl of frustration that Ares let out was enough to send Joxer into a small, quiet giggle fit. He stood up, and carefully walked over to two of the cribs that stood in the room. Placing one daughter into one, and the other into the second, Joxer now had both hands free to go and help his struggling husband.

"One more time, Ares, you have to make sure that there isn’t anything in the way before you zap it closed." Joxer pointed to the tiniest bit of fuzz that seemed to be waving impudently from where the power zap was supposed to hold the cloth closed. The peace god picked off the offending piece of fluff, reapplied the diaper and zapped it closed again. This time, it stayed.

Ares looked a little jealous. Well, more like a cross between jealous and impressed. For a mortal who had only been divine for a couple of years, Joxer certainly had control of his powers. The God of War looked at his lover, mate and husband, wondering just how he had managed to get so lucky in the lottery of love.

Joxer could see Ares regarding him out of the corner of his eye, but chose not to say anything. He was too busy trying to keep little Amalthea from squirming out of his grasp. For a three-week-old baby, she was sure active. But then, he didn’t have anyone but Zephyr to compare his daughter to, and she was Strife’s daughter, and incredibly active from the time she was conceived, so he supposed that it didn’t make a difference.

Joxer deposited Amalthea in her crib, next to her sisters, Mettalora and Coranira, and tiptoed to the door. All three of the little ones were sound asleep, not a state that they were in very often. He beckoned to Ares and led him out of the room. Once in the hallway, Joxer wrapped his arms around Ares neck, and pressed his lips to his husband’s.

"Have I told you how much I love you? Today, I mean?" Joxer asked, managing, somehow, to talk around the tongue that was exploring his mouth.

Before Ares could answer, however, there was a flash. Ares growled, not playfully, and turned. Standing before them was Cupid and Strife, each holding a squirming bundle.

"Gwanpa!" Bliss launched himself for the second time that day, and for the second time, was caught by a pair of strong arms, although these arms were much more muscle bound than Hephaestus’, for a reason no one could figure out.

"Hi, Bliss. Came for a little visit?" War’s voice was pleased, as was his smile, but the look that he shot is son and nephew suggested that they had better have a good reason for popping into the back hallway, unannounced.

"Relax, Dad, I’m here on official…well, sort of official, business. Heph made something, and gave it to me. The only problem is that we aren’t completely sure what it is, or how to work it. Mom thought that you would be able to help."

Ares sighed, and relaxed. Joxer was now holding his granddaughter, and laughing with Strife over the tiny baby’s grabs for their fingers, noses, lips, basically anything that was within grabbing distance. Ares smiled tenderly at the sight. His husband was so good with children, his own, or anyone else’s.

"Come on into the sitting room, where Bliss can play, and we’ll take a look at it. Joxer? Why don’t you put Zephyr into the spare crib? She looks like she’s about ready for a nap anyway." Ares gestured to the nursery where there were already sleeping babies.

Joxer nodded, and gestured to Strife. "Come on, Mischief. I know that you won’t be happy until you can see your daughter resting comfortably." Strife just smirked and followed Peace into the room.

Ares, carrying Bliss, led his son into the sitting room. Large comfortable couches were all over, as well as a couple of extremely comfortable chairs from some place called Laz-e-boy, and 2 others from another place called Sharper Image. Ares loved these last two chairs the most, since they came from a place that sounded like he really belonged there, but also because they had a built in massage system. Ares had decided he didn’t want to know how Joxer had managed to get all the extra furniture, mainly because he was sure that it had something to do with Joxer’s position as Hera’s favorite son-in-law and Zeus’s favorite amusement.

Gesturing Cupid to take a seat, Ares plopped Bliss down on another interesting item; something called a beanbag chair. Bliss loved these, and had managed to pop about six of the things before Joxer had explained that you weren’t supposed to bounce on them. The little winged godling no longer bounced, but he did squirm, making the little beads inside swish around. Bliss immediately got busy building with little brightly colored toy blocks, called Lego’s, while his father and grandfather began discussing Hephaestus’ newest creation.



Ares looked at his son, and then at his grandson. “The first thing that we do is have Bliss watched, somewhere away from here. Aphrodite?”

Aphrodite flashed into Ares’ temple. “You called?” She asked, slightly sarcastic, before noticing Bliss playing in the corner. “Hi Blissy!” she cooed, holding her arms out to her grandson.

“Gamma!” cries the little winged godling, and Aphrodite suddenly had her arms full of wriggling feathers and baby pudge.

“Am I correct in assuming that Bliss is the reason that you called me, brother dearest?” Aphrodite asked. “Hephy did say that I might be coerced into watching him while you all figured out how to work Cupid’s new little toy. It’s ok, I don’t mind. Bliss, honey, do you want to come with Grandma and help her make some people happy?”

Bliss bounced in her arms. “Yeah! Can I, Daddy?” Bliss made the cutest face that he knew how to make.

Cupid sighed, but looked as if he rather welcomed the idea. “Thanks, Mom. This helps a lot.”

His mother smiled. “Good. Am I also correct in assuming that you don’t need me to watch Zephyr, too, that she’s just fine with Ares and Joxer’s triplets?”

Ares nodded, slightly flustered that his sister had anticipated his request. “Yeah, we have those new little mirrors that Mother gave us. The babies will be fine.”

Aphrodite nodded. “Wave good-bye, Blissy!” As the little godling did so, Aphrodite flashed the two of them out of Ares’ temple.

*~*~*~*

Joxer settled Zephyr into the crib, and moved aside so that Strife could make her comfortable. The god of mischief was actually a natural father, very protective of his children, knowing instinctivly what to do for them.

Pulling the small blanket up to her chin, Strife smiled tenderly at his little daughter, the goddess of wind. Demeter hadn't been to pleased when she heard that partiticular duty was being taken from her, but she didn't oppose it when Hera pointed out all the mischief that could be done, and all the match making, with a good stiff breeze.

Joxer pulled Strife out of the room, knowing that, if given the opportunity,Mischief would stay and watch the little girl for hours. "Come on, you, let's go see what our husbands are up to. it isn't a good idea to leave them alone for too long, you know!" With these words, Peace picked up a little mirror, matching a larger one on the wall, and lead the way to the sitting room.

The sight they saw made them stop dead. Ares was cursing at a small metal object while Cupid was rolling on the floor laughing. Joxer stifled a grin at the sight of his husband and stepson, but Strife didn't have any such scruples. He joined Cupid in rolling on the floor, hysterical giggles coming out of his mouth.

Ares looked up, zapped Strife and Cupid almost idly, and then went back to cursing and struggling with the object that he held in his hands. Joxer walked over, and sat down next to his husband.

“I know this is going to be a rather moot point, but can I ask where Bliss went?” Strife had finally calmed down enough to notice the absence of his favorite winged little kid.

Cupid smiled, laying on the floor. “Mom came and took him.”

“Oh. Then I can do this without any worries.” Strife then proceeded to thoroughly kiss his husband.

"Ares, what is it? Why are you so upset?" Joxer, ignoring the two gods on the floor, gently pulled the...thing...out of Ares' unresisting hands. He idly started putting the little beads into it, knowing how do do it, and not sure why.

"I can't get the damned pellets into it. It's obviously a weapon, but I can't figure it out. That's...Joxer, you did it. How in Tartarus did you know how to do that?" Ares started at his mate in shock. Joxer had just snapped the compartment closed and handed the metal thing back to him.

"I don't know...and I think that it's called a bb gun. How I know that, I couldn't tell you, but nevertheless, instead of calling it a metal thing, or just thing, how about we call it by it's real name?" Joxer looked lightly astonished at the words coming out of his mouth.

Ares looked at him sideways, but just aimed the...gun...at the target on the wall he had called up from his training room. It had a big picture of Hercules in the middle of it, and there were several slices and holes in the hero's face. He pulled what appeared to be a trigger of some kind, and there was a loud ~POP~ as the gun discharged one of the pellets. It zoomed straight at the target--and then bounced right off, bopping around the room.

Just then, the door opened, and Jace and Eris came into the room. Eris heard more than saw the little metal thing coming, and ducked, but Jace wasn't so lucky. It struck him in the forehead, and knocked him out cold. ((hey, he never was a very...stable..guy, now was he?))

All the gods and the one goddess in the room gathered around the now prone form lying on the floor. Strife started giggling again, but shut up with a gulp when Joxer gave him a Look, one that was almost reminiscent of the ones that his uncle gave him.

"OK, so now what do we do with him?" asked Cupid, how was trying to figure out if there was enough love power in the pellets to do anything. He didn't think so, but this was such an odd use for the metal that he wasn't sure.

"We move him to the couch." came Ares' reasonable suggestion, and with minimal amounts of effort, Jace was reposing on the nearest couch. Just then, Ares felt the tingle that was his daughter.

{Xena, now is really not a good time.}

{Oh. Well, can you zap Gabby and I up there anyway? We want to visit the triplets.}

{And you picked now because...} a small amount of exasperation was starting to creep into the tone.

{Because now we have time, that's why. I promise that we’ll watch them while you and Joxer have some alone time.} The responding voice was firm, but wheedling.

{Fine. Sounds good to me.} and a second later, Xena and Gabrielle were standing in the middle of the room.

"Hi everyone, what's up?" chirped the overly perky bard. Xena clapped a hand over her mouth and shoved the blonde behind her before anyone could zap her.

"Jace is out cold. Xena, you know anything that could wake him up?" Joxer had looked up, along with everyone else in the room, when the pair had zapped in, but he was the only one still paying them any attention.

"Sure, I might. What happened?" Xena walked over to the couch where everyone was gathered around the still unconscious Jace.

"He got pinged in the head by a flying love pellet." came Strife's smart ass remark, followed by a smack in the back of the head from his mother.

"Oh, let me try this then." and she knelt next to the couch. Before she could do anything, however, Jace's eyes popped open. Seeing Xena right over him, he smiled brilliantly.

"Oh, Xena, where have you been all my life?" he cried, and wrapped his arms around the startled warrior and pulled her down for one whopper of a kiss.



The entire room was so silent and still that if anyone had walked in, they might have thought they were looking at statues. Jace was still kissing Xena, but the strangest part about that was that she didn’t seem to be resisting. In fact, she seemed to be…enjoying it?!

“Uh, Xena? You do realize that you’re kissing my brother, Jace.” Joxer didn’t sound like he minded, just that he was a little stunned.

Xena finally broke away, panting slightly, her eyes locked on Jace’s face. “Yes, Joxer, I’m well aware that it’s Jace I was kissing. He’s…well, he’s spectacular! Is that why Meg and the girls liked you so much? Because you’re very…very…well, good with your hands?”

Ares growled slightly, but it didn’t really sound like he minded too much what Xena was saying. After all, he had been on the receiving end of some of Joxer’s knowledge, hadn’t he? He ought to know!

Cupid cleared his throat. “Well, it seems that Jace has been effected by the love metal that’s in the pellets. I don’t know…let me try something. Jace, I’m going to attempt to remove the compulsion, now, ok?” and without waiting for a response, Cupid put his hands on either side of the prone man’s head, and started to channel energy.

Strife watched, in case he needed to pull Cupid away from Jace. {Cupid, be careful. We don’t know what kind of effect those pellets have.}

{I’ll be ok. He’s already fallen in love with Xena. That should be it.} Cupid focused a little harder on Jace, slightly confused as to why the compulsion wasn’t going away.

~FLASH~BANG~ Cupid flew across the room as a blinding flash of pink light. He crashed against the opposite wall, accidentally making a bull’s eye with his butt on the target of Hercules.

“CUPID!!” Strife, Ares, and Joxer, all ran over to the now unconscious god laying on the floor. Eris and Gabrielle watched with interest, so no one seemed to notice when Jace grabbed Xena, pulled her on top of him, and the two started making out.

“Cupie, are you all right? What happened?!” Strife was the first one there, sliding his husbands head into his lap, and tapping his cheeks lightly to wake up the unconscious god.

*moan* “Oh, my head. What happened?” Cupid came around, looking up at Strife, then at Ares and Joxer. “Something is preventing me from removing the compulsion. That means that it’s permanent. I don’t know why, I don’t really know how, except this seems to be some sort of side effect of mixing normal Hephaestian metal with my love metal.” Cupid seemed vaugly disturbed by the discovery.

“So, what, this means that Jace is going to be in love with MY warrior princess until he dies?!” For once, no one minded Gabrielle’s rather idiodic statement of the obvious.

“Yeah, Blondie, it appears that Jace is going to love her forever.” Strife seemed gleefully amused by that. It was just one more way to annoy the bard.

Gabrielle looked furious, but Joxer had slipped up behind her, and grabbed her before she could launch herself at Strife and Cupid.

“Gabby, get a grip. It doesn’t appear that Xena minds too badly, now does it?” Joxer pointed at the now moaning and half naked pair, squirming on the couch. He had to grab Gabrielle’s arm again, before she collapsed.

Prompted by a look from Joxer, Ares materialized a chair for the blonde bard, and Joxer eased her into it.

“Look, Gabby, I think that you’ve lost Xena. In order to make it up to you, I think that Cupid might be willing to shoot someone for you, with these new magic pellets that make the love permanent. Wouldn’t you, Cupid?”

Joxer looked over at Cupid, who was now sitting up, leaning against Strife, who had his arms wrapped around the muscular chest of his lover. Cupid hesitated, but noticed something in Joxer’s expression. Was that…it was. Joxer had just winked at Cupid.

“No, I don’t mind. I’ll shoot someone for you Gabrielle. Just tell me who, we’ll get him or her here, and I’ll pull this little trigger.” Cupid held up the gun he had transported to his hand. Gods, but he hoped Joxer knew what he was doing.

Gabrielle sniffled, then looked at Joxer, then at Cupid. “You…you would? Anyone?”

Cupid nodded. “Depending on the god, perhaps one of them, too.” Cupid looked slightly startled to hear himself say that, but Joxer looked smug.

{Jox, are you…are you influencing?} Ares was suspicious of the way that things were progressing.

{I’m just trying to keep the peace, ‘Res, that’s all. That IS my job, after all.} Joxer was very pointedly telling Ares to butt out.

“A god? Could I…would you…I mean…” Gabrielle was suddenly a vibrant shade of red, and looking at no one, not even the couple who was now completely naked, and rolling about on the floor, where they had just fallen.

Joxer smiled slightly. “Gabby, you have to speak up. Cupid isn’t sitting next to you like I am.”

Cupid looked slightly amused, but prompted Gabrielle. “I won’t hurt you, unless you ask for Strife.” He smirked at the expression on the blonde’s face.

“I don’t want Strife. I want…I want…”

“Spit it out, Blondie.” Eris was trying desperately not to laugh. She wanted to hear who Little Miss Perfect asked for. Then she would collapse into hysterics.

“Apollo! I want Apollo!” Gabrielle nearly shouted, then promptly buried her face in her hands.



Ares, Strife, Cupid, and Eris all stared at the uncomfortable bard. Joxer smiled faintly, and patted Gabrielle on the back.

“It’s ok, Gabby. I knew already. And Cupid did promise. I don’t think that anyone is going to have a problem with you picking Apollo.” Joxer looked sternly at the four other deities. “Are they?”

Ares choked. “No…no, of course not.” He looked faintly startled that Joxer had known that Gabrielle had a thing for her god, and hadn’t told him. He could have had so much fun with that. Joxer was going to have to explain himself.

Cupid just looked stunned. Apollo…his uncle, Apollo. Gabrielle, Queen of the Amazons, Bard, and Warrior, as well as Annoying Little Blonde, wanted him to shoot Apollo, God of Sun, Music, and Healing. Oh this, this was absolutely priceless.

Strife stared. Then he smirked. Then he smiled. Then he snorted a bit. And then a bit more. Then Strife giggled faintly. And then he giggled again.

And then the dam broke. Strife, God of Mischief was rolling on the floor, howling in hysterics at the thought of Blondie wanting Apollo.

Eris wasn’t far behind. She watched her son for a moment, rolling on the floor, and then decided that hysterical laughter was just the right way to express what she was feeling.

Ares looked over at his sister and nephew, faintly disgusted by their behavior, but completely understanding. He grinned up at Cupid, looked at Joxer and Gabrielle, who was starting to calm down a bit, and then remembered that his daughter was in the room. He glanced over to the couch where she had last been seen, and almost hit the roof.

“XENA!!” Ares’ thundering roar stopped everyone in the room dead, including the two naked people who were trying very hard to meld themselves together. Xena looked up, lips swollen and red from being kissed thoroughly, tendrils of hair clinging to her sweaty face.

“Dad, do you mind?! I’m *trying* to have sex here, and you aren’t helping.” She gasped as Jace’s hand disappeared and apparently squeezed something.

Ares almost choked. Of course he minded! It was one thing to know that his daughter had had a son. It was quite another to watch her attempt to make another one.

Joxer stepped in, sensing Ares’ rising anger. “Xena, I’m going to transport you to another room. Do whatever you wish, but try not to piss off your father any more than you already have.” He smirked slightly, gave his brother a thumbs up, and whisked the pair off to one of the spare bedrooms.

Ares glowered at his husband. “You didn’t have to help.”

Joxer grinned outright. “Of course I did. Jace is my brother, and he’s in love with Xena. If she makes him happy, then I’m not going to interrupt them.”

Just then, a quiet cry from the little mirror that was laying on the table attracted his attention.

“Cora’s awake. I’m going into the nursery. You all have to figure out how to get Apollo here, because I’m not backing out on this promise.” And with that, Joxer flashed out.

Cupid shook his head. “I hope that man knows what he’s doing. I’m not completely sure how these little pellets work, beyond making mortals fall permanently in love. There’s no telling what they might do to a god.”

Eris smirked from her place on the floor. “Then I guess that you just have to experiment on our resident Sun God, don’t you, Cupid?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Joxer reappeared next to Coranira’s crib, and picked up the baby girl. He had managed to get their fast enough that she hadn’t woken her sisters or Zephyr. He cuddled his daughter, babbling at her in a soothing voice as he walked slowly over to one of the changing tables.

“Time to get a new diaper on you, isn’t it, my sweet precious little Balance goddess? I’ll have you all fixed up in no time at all.” As Joxer talked to his daughter, he was methodically removing the old diaper, cleaning up the baby tushie in front of him, and putting on a new diaper, all without misshap.

“I don’t know why your daddy has such a problem with this. It isn’t difficult,” Peace crooned at Balance, as he picked her up. Living up to her godhood, Cora instantly centered herself, unconsciously, of course, in her father’s arms.

“Ah, getting good at tha-wait a minute, what’s that?” Joxer was halted by his awareness of a prayer. A prayer coming from someone who had never prayed to him before.

“Iolaus?” whispered Joxer, sensing something was wrong. “Hold on, little girl, we’re going for a ride.” Briefly checking to make sure that he had the little mirror in his pocket, Joxer materialized a blanket around Cora, and flashed to the temple where Iolaus was praying.



Iolaus knelt on the groud in front of Joxer's alter, praying with all his might. Something was wrong with his friend Hercules, and the God of Peace was the only one that Iolaus trusted enough to fix it, instead of making it worse.

~FLASH~

"I'm here, Iolaus, now, what's wrong with Hercules?" Joxer sat in his throne of beautiful white marble, holding a slightly wriggling bundle of yellow blankets.

"Like I said, he's terrorizing Salmoneus, following him, taking his wares, torturing him, almost. I don't know what's wrong with him. I don't think that it's a spell or anything. I can usually tell when those are in place." Iolaus was refering to the fact that his father, Hermes, had endowed the hunter to detect divine presence and power. "Not a spell, huh? I don't know what it could be then." Joxer looked down at Cora as she gave a coo.

"Iolaus, have you had a chance to see any of my daughters yet?" The hunter looked startled. "No, I haven't yet. Is there...are...is that one of them?" Iolaus finally got the words out, and gestured to the bundle in Joxer's arms.

Joxer smiled. "Yes, this is Coranira, Goddess of Balance. Would you like to hold her?" and before the startled blond man could say anything, a wriggling bundle of blanket wrapped baby was deposited in his arms. Iolaus froze, staring down into bright green eyes that gazed calmly back up at him.

"Jox, she's...she's absolutly adorable. So small and perfect, and...just...so sweet." Joxer grinned, and sat back down on his throne to think about the dilemma now facing him.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Ares snorted as his husband left the room, made sure that his link with his daughter was securly blocked so that he didn't have to hear what she was doing, and turned his attention back to the annoying blonde bard.

"Gabrielle, you want us to shoot Apollo for you, to make him fall in love with you, is that right?" Ares was trying his damndest to be nice, knowing the the effort was most likely wasted, but also knowing that both his husband and his daughter would maim him something terrible if he was anything but nice. Gabrielle finally looked up, a sneer in place on her face. "Yeah, I do. What's wrong with that? Are you the only one who is able to take a consort from among his worshippers?" The tone was obviously insulting, but the words stung even more.

"If you ever refer to Joxer as my consort ever again, I'll disembowel you slowly, and then I'll hang you with your intestines, you got me? Joxer is my husband and the God of Peace. I don't want you forgetting that." Ares' voice was deathly quiet, and both Strife and Eris had stopped laughing to stare at him. Cupid hastily spoke up. "Gabrielle, do you have any ideas as to how we can get Apollo here?"

"I was thinking that I could send a prayer to him telling him that I was being held captive by Ares, or something. Not that I am," she added hastily, seeing a snarl appear on Ares' face, and knowing that a fireball would follow, "but just to get him to come and rescue me."

Strife nodded, smirking. "I like that plan, and that's frightening."



Ares glared at Strife, but his nephew only smirked at him. The boy was getting entirely too bold for his own good. Too bad that he couldn’t do anything about it, not with Cupid ready to kill him slowly if he so much as twitched at Strife. Or at least, he had been. Ares wondered if, now that Strife wasn’t pregnant, he would be able to go back to disciplining Strife properly.

Ares decided to stamp down that thought, for the moment. He had to focus on the problem at hand, getting the Blonde Harpy out of his home, so that he could figure out where Joxer went, and they could detach his daughter from Jace long enough to figure out what was going on with them.

“All right, Blondie, so you pray to him. What exactly are you planning on saying? ‘Apollo, sir, help me, I’m being held captive by the big bad god of war’? Some how, I think that he would respond, but you might want to put a bit of feeling into it, if we’re gonna make this work.” Ares looked resigned at this point, knowing that it really was the only way, but not liking the idea in the least.

Gabrielle looked pissed. “I’m positive that my Lord Apollo will come when one of his followers is in trouble!” And with that, she started to pray fervently.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Apollo was at home, in bed, when the prayer came. Normally, a prayer wouldn’t bother him, even when it came while he was in bed, but this one did.

“Oh, what in Tartarus does she want now?!” Apollo’s roar startled the muse that was laying between his legs enough that she stopped what she was doing, and looked up.

“Erato, don’t stop. I didn’t tell you to stop.”

The goddess of love poetry looked slightly miffed, but went back to pleasuring her god.

Melpomene opened her eyes, glaring at Apollo. “What is it, and if you tell me that you’re going to leave, then I’m leaving, and I’m taking the girls with me.” She gestured to the other 3 muses, not counting Erato, who were in various positions, putting on a rather erotic show for Apollo.

“I am leaving, I don’t care if you take them, and Ares has taken Gabrielle captive. That damned harpy. She needs to learn how to keep her mouth shut! She may be incredibly annoying, but she is one of my best followers and bards. Oh!! Erato, swallow, damn you!”

Apollo threw his head back as his orgasm washed over him. Melpomene made a face as Erato dutifly swallowed all that Apollo gave forth, then snickered as the muse vanished.

“Where did she go? Oh, Hades, I don’t care.” With that, he flashed on some clothes. He got out of bed, looking pissed as Zeus could when Hera caught him fooling around, and flashed to Ares’ temple.

“Oh, that little blonde bard is in for one hell of a surprise, isn’t she, girls?” asked Melpomene, gazing at the now still muses on the bed. She smirked, knowing the answer already, and flashed all four of them back to their own part of the temple.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Iolaus, do you think that you could handle feeding her?” Joxer asked absently, as Cora began to fuss a bit. He materialized a leather skin with some strange nipple thing on the top and passed it to the hunter.

“I…I think so. The least I can do is try, huh?” Iolaus accepted the skin, and placed the nipple gently against Cora’s tiny lips. She immediately opened her mouth, allowing the nipple in, and began sucking contentedly.

“Hey, it worked. I think she actually likes me!” The joy in Iolaus’ voice was unmistakable, but Joxer didn’t notice. He had already gone back to thinking about Hercules.



Joxer sat up suddenly. “Iolaus, we have to go back to Ares temple on Olympus. I think that I may know how to fix Hercules.” And with that, he put his hand on the hunter’s shoulder and zapped them both to the Temple of War.



Hercules sat on a chair in the corner of the inn, brooding over a mug of ale. He had done everything that he could think of to attract Salmoneus’ attention. He’d stolen his wares, teased him, even gone so far as to pretend to get injured while protecting the merchant from bandits.

Nothing had worked. Sal still just thought of him as the great Hercules, super strong demi-god, protector of the innocents. Yeah, he was all of those things, but he was also Hercules, master lover, super hunky man extrodinare. So why didn’t Salmoneus see that?

*~*~*~*~*

Hera lay on the floor of her temple, panting heavily, occasionally shaking with a fit of laughter.- She had been laughing non-stop for the last 45 minutes, and now all she could do was lay on the floor, clutching her stomach muscles. What Zeus had done to that little bastard son of his was absolutely priceless. No one knew, of course, what exactly was going on except for Hera and Zeus. No one knew that the smart alec demi-god was feeling the effects of his father’s anger.

Hera had never known Zeus to be so angry, or so devious, in her entire lifetime, which was considerable. She had the feeling that Jerkules had gone too far for even Zeus to ignore.

Hera finally lay still, still holding her stomach, gazing at the scrying mirror she had focused on Hercules. She had decided that she needed a bit of a cheer up earlier. The little twit’s antics had certainly done that for her. She watched him sitting, brooding, in a corner, trying desperately to get drunk, staring at an uncomfortable Salmoneus adoringly, if that was possible.

Suddenly, Hera sat bolt upright. Joxer had just called for her, and she wondered what he wanted. He was one of her favorites, and she always answered him, but rarely expected whatever it was he wound up asking for.

Checking to make sure that she was presentable, Hera focused on Joxer’s power and winked out.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Xena opened her eyes languidly, still mostly asleep, but aware that something was off. Let’s see, she thought to herself. I asked Ares to let Gabrielle and I come to visit Joxer and the triplets, bribed him a bit, saved her little blonde ass when she opened her mouth, was aksed by Joxer to revive his brother, fallen in love with Jace, and had made hot monkey love to him for-

WHAT?! JACE?! SEX?! Xena was now fully aware of the warm muscled body she was snuggled against. Oh, Hades, please let it all be a dream…

Xena carefully turned herself, excruciatingly aware of the strong arms circling her waist. She finished rolling over just in time to see blue eyes open and a smile cross an all too familiar face.

Stifling a groan, Xena squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again, this time to see an amused expression on the face that was still inches away from her own.

"Well, hello, my beautiful warrior, how are you?" Jace’s face was tender and very happy looking.

"I’m…well, um…I…er…" Xena trailed off, not knowing how to respond, but knowing that Jace made her incredibly happy. And that scared her.



Joxer waited in the nursery with his daughters, Zephyr, and Iolaus, watching all five of the other beings in the room, and hoping that Hera would hurry up.

~FLASH~

Hera looked around, slightly startled to see Iolaus holding one of her granddaughters.

"Joxer, what is it? Why did you call me, and why is Iolaus holding… who is that?" Hera moved a little closer. "Coranira? What is-" Hera stopped abruptly, eyes widening. Iolaus…Hercules' best friend… of course he had noticed Hercules' fascination with Salmoneus.

Iolaus saw the minute change in Hera's facial features, and jumped to a conclusion.

"You. You're the reason that Herc is goin' nuts. You're the reason he's following Salmoneus around. What did you do this time, Hera? How did you managed to influence him without me being able to sense it?" Iolaus, though his tone was a bit peeved, looked more amused than pissed off.

Joxer looked slightly startled. He had already figured out what was going on, but for Iolaus to come to a similar, if not completely correct, conclusion, that quickly was astonishing. Apparently, Iolaus was smarter and more aware that 95% of the population of the world.

"I'm impressed, Iolaus, but you aren't completely correct. Hera isn't the one that has been influencing Hercules. Zeus is." Joxer said, as gently as possible, knowing that it would be a shock.

Hera nodded as, sure enough, Iolaus swayed a bit at shock of this revelation. She moved to the demi-god hunter, taking Cora from him, and pushed him one handed into the chair. He sat there a moment, absorbing this news.

"Zeus is influencing Hercules? His sin? I mean, his supposed favorite son? Why? What happened?" Iolaus had willingly relinquished the now-sleeping Cora to Hera, but was up again, and edging towards Mettalora's crib, where the tiny goddess of Accuracy was fussing to be picked up.

Joxer grinned, and nodded, giving Iolaus permission to hold the baby. He was pleased to see that Iolaus had taken to the girls so well. It really did bode well for the hunter's future.

*~*~*~*~*

Cupid was watching his father turn the bb gun over and over in his hands while they waited for Apollo.

"Uh, Unc? Doncha think Cupe had better have the gun thingy and be ready to shoot `Pol when he gets here? An' that we'd better be invisible?" Strife's voice broke through Ares jumbled thoughts.

"Yeah, I mean, I wouldn't want one of the three of you to get shot accidentally, or be the first one that my lord sees. You're both already married, with children-" Suddenly, the quiet, timid voice Gabrielle had been speaking in was interrupted by some strange sort of music. A door opened, startling all four beingings in the room, especially when a large-chested red head, a scantily clad blonde, and a short, dark-haired, beared young man came through it. All walked across the room, looking slightly bewildered.

"Mom, where's Daddy? I need some money from him. I promised Jody that we would go to the mall and pick up guys" the blonde whined to the red-head.

"Kelly, the only way you're going to get any guys is to pay them with Dad's money," the bearded man sneered at Kelly, the blonde.

"Now, Bud, that's not nice. At least your sister can buy living dates for the evening. She doesn't have to use your frequent buyer's card at Plastic Dates." ((Lisa, if you can come up with a better name for a place that sells blow up dolls, PLEASE tell me!!!)) the red head snickered.

Laughter floated through the air, coming from nowhere anyone could see, as the trio left through another door, leaving behind three very confused gods and one astounded mortal.



Zeus sat next to his son, invisible to everyone. Once he had figured out that he could influence Hercules more by being near him, as well as getting a front row seat to see the effects, the king of the gods had immediately scheduled his days around torturing his son.

Honestly, the boy deserved it, after the way he had behaved. He was lucky he was still alive. Zeus’d had quite a time keeping the Pantheon from killing his son. Zues wasn’t about to forget that quickly.

Zeus’ attention snapped back to his son when Salmoneus got up from the table where he had been sitting. Hercules got up and followed the merchant out of the inn. The god’s attention, as he followed his son and emerged into the bright sunlight, was instantly arrested by a young man standing In the shadows nearby. Oh, perfect. Absolutely perfect. This would make Hercules jealous and Salmoneus go crazy, a double bonus. What a perfect set up.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Gabrielle was the first to shake herself free of the strange vision that has just passed through the room.

"Wha-what was that?!" the blonde demanded, straining against the bonds that Strife had all too willingly conjured up-all to make Gabrielle’s supposed captivity more realistic, he’d said.

Ares shook himself. "I don’t know, and at the moment, really don’t care. Apollo will be here any-"

~FLASH~

"-minute. Hello, brother, so glad you could join my little party. By the way, what is it that you are wearing?" Ares went from slightly dazed to insultingly nice, and slightly amused, in a matter of seconds. He glanced quickly around to see if Cupid and Strife had managed to get invisible fast enough to avoid detection. There was no sign of the pair, and Apollo didn’t give any indication that he had seen them. Ares smirked inwardly, and turned his attention back to the dress clad god before him.

"What are you talking about?" Apollo looked down, then blanched. In his haste to get one of his followers out of Ares’ clutches, he’d zapped on the wrong clothes. He was now wearing the fairly transparent dress of Melopemene.

Ares and Gabrielle watched as Apollo turned several interesting shades of red and purple before zapping himself into proper clothing.

"Lord Apollo, please…" Gabrielle’s quiet plea grabbed the attention of the blonde god, once again. Ares used the distraction to flash the gun to the power tendril that Cupid had sent towards his father.

"Gabrielle, you stupid little blonde idiot, how did you get yourself caught by Ares? Of all the moronic, insane, hare-brained things to do, you have to get yourself-"

~BANG~

Apollo had been walking towards the bard, using his power to untie her, when he was halted by the bang and the subsequent sting he felt on the back of his neck.

"What the-" and as his hand clasped on to the back of his neck, Apollo’s eyes locked with Gabrielle’s and both froze. Neither one of them moved a muscle as a stange energy filled the room.



Jace’s face looked slightly troubled as Xena stumbled over her words.

"Darling? Are you all right? Did I hurt you? I would never forgive myself. Please, tell me what I can do, my beautiful warrior."

Xena cut off his increasingly worried flow of words, by placing his finger over his lips.

"No, I’m fine, Jace, I’m just surprised. I’m not completely sure what is going on here, or what happened before. It’s very confusing to me. Why…I mean how…oh, Hades." Xena’s eyes got very wide as she remembered Strife’s words, "hit by a flying love pellet."

"Um, Jace? How much do you remember about…earlier?" Xena’s voice was gentle, though slightly concered, and the fingers she was now tracing over the muscled chest before her were just as soft and careful.

"What do I remember?" Jace’s soft voice was filled with surprise. "I remember coming to see Jox and the girls, after begging Eris to bring me up here-I owe her one of my famous massages for that-and I remember coming in to the room, and seeing Eris duck, then being hit by something hard and fast, right where Jett use to hit me to get me to sleep at night, and then I remember opening my eyes and seeing your gorgeous face bending over me, and finally having enough courage to kiss you like I’ve been wanting to do since Joxer sent me a picture he’d drawn of you. When you didn’t resist, when you actually responded…Xena, you’ve made me incredibly happy. That’s what I remember."

While Jace was talking, his hand had been moving all over her body, and was now caressing Xena’s breast. Her breath caught in her throat asn his thumb flicked over the already over sensitive, hardened nipple.

"Jace-" began the warrior, but got no further as a warm mouth covered her own, and the gently probing tongue persuaded her all too willing mind to refocus on the demands of the flesh, rather than the thoughts of the mind.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Iolaus sat in the rocking chair once more, cuddling Mettalora close to his chest, making cooing noises at her, completely unaware of the conversation being held between Joxer and Hera.

"Are you certain he doesn’t know, Joxer? I mean, Hermes hasn’t said anything to him?" Hera wasn’t looking at Joxer as she spoke, however. She was more focused on Iolaus’ instinctive handling of the baby. Joxer knew, however, that she was paying complete attention to what he had to say.

"No, I’m not certain, but I can make a pretty educated guess, based on the fact that he’s calm, and we haven’t heard any outburst from him." Joxer was preparing three milkskins and a bottle for the four baby girls as he spoke, knowing that it would be feeding time soon.

"No, we haven’t, you’re right about that. Do you think we should tell him now?" Hera actually sounded uncertain, something that she would never have allowed to show before anyone but Joxer, and a very few select others.

"Well, considering we don’t know what’s going to trigger it, and it could be any time now, I think that it’s a good idea," said Joxer, twisting shut the bottle and placing it next to the milkskins.

"I suppose that you’re right."

"Of course I am." Now there was a mischevious note in the god’s voice. "How often am I wrong, dearest queen?"

Hera snorted derisively, attracting the attention of the demi-god in the chair.

"What are you guys talking about?" asked Iolaus, suddenly aware that the two deities looked slightly uncomfortable.



Zeus crept along quietly, keeping his eye on the young man in the shadows. He had to be very careful about how he did this, since this was more Cupid’s line of work than his own. Then it occurred to him. Hif he could find rhe right incentive, he would only have to convince the man to ACT as if he was in love with Salmoneus, not actually BE in love…which would save the Sky God a heck of a lot of headache, if Cupid had found out he was muching around in his work.

"Hey, you. Orimus." The man in the shadows looked around, trying to figure out where the voice was coming from, and how it knew his name.

"Me? Who are you? WHERE are you?" asked Orimus confusedly.

"I’m right next to you, Orimus," and Zues shimmered into view "I need you to do me a favor. If you do this for me, then it means that I will owe you a favor."

Orimus’ eyes widened. "The…the king of the gods would owe *me* a favor?!" his astonishment was obvious.

"Yes. Now, would you like to know what the favor is before you agree to it?" asked Zeus.

"Um…does it involve killing?"

"No."

"Does it involve stealing?"

"Not an inanimate object."

"Does it involve getting injured?"

"Not if you can’t run fast enough."

"Run fast enough? What do you want me to do, try and piss off Hercules?" Ormus started laughing.

And stopped almost immediately when he was the look on Zeus’ face.

"Are you kidding?! The guy STOPS fights by hurting people! He’d probably rip me into two pieces!!" Orimus was starting to sound panicked.

"Calm down. I’ll be protectiong you as well, and I’m sure that you will have plently of incentive to move quickly, should my dear son get pissed, as you so eloquently put it." Zeus seemed to be amused.

Orimus just looked nervous.

*~*~*~*~*~*

"Seriously, what is it? Why are you looking at me like that?" Iolaus asked Hera and Joxer, eyes flicking from one to the other.

"No reason," said Joxer hastily. "Would you like to know why you didn’t sense any godly power influencing Hercules?"

Iolaus nodded. "It would be nice, if I’m allowed to know."

Hera spoke up. "Certainly, you’re allowed to know. The general idea is that Zeus is son angry with Hercules that he’s using the bond between himself and his son to influence what is going on in Hercules’ life. To some highly amusing effects, I might add."

Iolaus grinned at Hera, then looked down at Mettalora, who was finding his fingers absolutely fascinating.

"OK, but I still have some questions. I can understand why I couldn’t feel Zeus’ power, it’s because he went through the father-son bond. My first question is what the hell is that, and where did it come from?" Iolaus asked, looking expectantly at the god and goddess.

Hera sighed. "The father-son bond is the bond that exists between all gods and their children, divine, demi-god, or mortal. Ares and Xena, though it’s a father-daughter bond in their case, have one. Theirs is so strong that it in enables them to speak telepathically with each other."

A look of comprehension flitted over Joxer’s features when Hera said that. Now several thigs made sense to him.

"So," said Iolaus, slowly, "I have a bond with Hermes? One that exists because he is my father, and I am his son?" Iolaus lookedas if he were unsure if he was happy or upset about this.

Joxer nodded. "Yep, and I have one with Thea, Metta, and Cora, although all that gives me right now is clues about why they are crying." Joxer grinned wryly.

"OK, that sorta make sense. Apparently the bond between the bond between Zeus and Hercules at least allows Zeus to influence his son," Iolaus said, trying to figure things out.

"Oh, it works both ways, Iolaus. That’s part of the reason Zeus is so angry," Hera said darkly.

"Which brings me to my next question. What did Herc do that could have pissed off Zeus this much?"



As Jace’s hands ran along her body, and his tongue explored her mouth, Xena tried to find a reason to stop him. She refused to lie to him, which left telling him she didn’t love him, as well as telling him that she hadn’t enjoyed his lovemaking.

Just then, Jace’s wandering fingers flicked over her clit, causing Xena to arch her back, thrusting her body up against Jace’s.

“Oooh, like that, do you?” Jace’s voice was husky with desire, but definately amused, whispering in her ear.

“Um…yeah…ahh, that too…” Xena’s voice had a definate quaver to it as she tried to think rationally. She knew that this really shouldn’t be happening, that it was some kind of side effect of whatever had hit Jace in the head, but at the moment, she really didn’t care.

Finally abandoning all reservations, Xena mover her head down until her mouth was level with Jace’s chest. Glancing quickly up at his face, and seeing only love and lust there, she flicked out her tongue and licked his right nipple.

A shudder ran through the body under Xena’s, telling her that Jace had enjoyed what she just did. So she did it again…and again…and again, finally sucking hard, pulling the tiny bud into her mouth, and rolling it around on her tongue.

Once she was satisfied with the pebble impression the nipple was giving, Xena moved her head over to Jace’s left nipple and proceeded to give it the same treatment.

“Xena…” Jace’s voice was a hoarse whisper, telling her that it was time to move on. Trailing little kisses, nips, licks and sucks down the flat muscular abdomen, Xena taught herself every sensetive spot her on her lover’s body. She filed the information away, whish spots made him jump, moan, or squirm, knowing that she was going to use the information at a future time.

“Xena, I need…” Jace didn’t get anything else out, because just then, Xena had reached the goal of her travels, Jace’s rock hard cock. Smiling inwardly at how much this man obviously wanted her, Xena wasted no time in learning just what Jace tasted like, swallowing his dick completely.

Jace groaned as he felt a warm, wet mouth engulf his aching cock. Good Gods, she was as good with her mouth as she was with her chakram. He opened his eyes slightly and looked down at the raven haired head bobbing up and down at his groin. An upwelling of love filled his heart, and one hand ventured down to cup the moving head of his lover.

Xena felt Jace’s hand on the back of her head, and sped of her movements, sucking for all she was worth. She desperately wanted to make Jace feel as good as he had made her feel, and knew that she could do that by-

“Xena.” The growl startled her, causeing her to look up into Jace’s flushed face.

“No. I want to cum inside of you, this time.” Before the warrior could act, Jace had her flipped over onto her back and was kissing her passionately, sweeping into her mouth with is tongue. Just as abruptly, his mouth was gone from hers, only to be moved to her neck…and then her shoulders…

Xena moaned as Jace’s mouth found her breast, sucking and lapping at the nipple, while his right hand massaged her other breast and his left hand…where was his left-

THERE IT WAS! Xena gasped and arched her back as Jace suddenly plunged a finger into her dripping center and started to finger fuck her.

“Gods, Jace…you’re…ooooh…you’re…” Xena stopped trying to tell Jace what he was, because, at the moment, she really didn’t care, just as long as he kept her feeling good.

Xena kept floating in and out of consiousness as Jace brought her to the brink of orgasm, and then backed off. Each time she protested, only to have him chuckle softly and do it again.

“Xena, I can’t wait anymore,” came Jace’s husky voice, breaking through the warrior’s bliss filled thoughts.

“Then don’t. I need you too Jace.” And there was no lie in this.

Jace move so fast, Xena only was aware that one moment he had hins fingers in her, the next, his cock was sliding in.

Both moaned in delight as the feel of the joining almost caused both of them to orgasm right then.

“Jace, I love you,” whispered Xena, as Jace started pumping in and out, wrapping her strong legs around his waist.

“I love you, too, my beautiful one,” groan Jace as he felt Xena’s tight heat convulse around his shaft.

It didn’t take long for either of them to climax, Xena having been teased too long, and Jace, simply because this was the woman he loved and just being with her made him want to cum.

Xena shrieked as her orgasm washed over her, clutching convusivly to the muscular body punding into her body. Jace just groaned quietly, his hips pumping frantically as Xena tightedned around him.

“I love you.” They whispered together as the exhausted lovers slipped into sleep.



Xena opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling, fully aware that Jace was still sprawled on top of her. Who knew that he was such a spectacular lover? She wrapped her arms around his muscular body, trying to decide when she had fallen in love with the man that had just shattered every illusion and concept that she'd ever had.

"JAce?" she whispered, not sure whether she wanted a respons or not.

"Hmm?" He sounded so tired, she thought lovingly, then pushed the thought away.

"I want you to know something, Jace. When we...while you...when I...when I said that I loved you earlier..." Xena didn't know how to continue.

Jace lifted himself up so that he could look into Xena's eyes.

"What is it? Whatever it is, you can tell me," his tone said that he would accept whatever it was she had to say, but his eyes begged her not to break his heart.

"I..I...I meant it Jace. I love you." Xena's voice was hardly above a whisper at this point.

Jace looked stunned. "Xena, I...are you sure? i mean, I figured that..." he got no further as Xena pulled his head down for a kiss.

"Of course I'm sure, you big dork. Now, kiss me again." said Xena when they came up for air.

Jace was only too happy to oblige.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Gabrielle, are you all right, my dearest?" Apollo rushed forward and gathered a motionless bard into his muscular arms. "If he's hurt you in anyway..." Apollo trailed off, sparing a brief glare for Ares, before turning back to the blonde on his lap.

Which was fortunate, since it meant that he missed the materilization of Cupid and Strife who immediately entangled themselves in each others arms and tried to swallow the other's tongue.

Apollo and Gabrielle appeared to be doing the same thing, Ares noticed, having reluctantly dragged his attenton back to the object of this little exercise.

As Cupid and Strife, and Apollo and Gabrielle, becamse more involve with each other, Ares wondered what kind of powers that little gun had.



Orimus walked away from Zeus, leaving the god to gleefully ponder the possiblities of his newfound ability. Really, as much as the little shit pissed him off, he had to give Hercules some small, infintesimal amount of thanks for introducing him to this delightful power.

The nervous man, however, wasn't thinking of much beyond the insanity of pissing off Hercules. Oh well, in for a dinar, in for a hundred...or some strange saying like that. All he had to remember that Hercules wanted Salmoneus, the tinker, and that he, Orimus, had to pretend that he wanted Salmoneus, and Zeus would take care of the rest, including protecting the mortal...he hoped.

"Hello, Salmoneus. Got anything interesting for sale today?" The reason that Zeus had chosen Orimus was immediately apparent as the man's manner went from nervous and jumpy to flirty and interested.

"Oh, I have plenty today! I have this lovely silver goblet from Rome, comes with one skin of fine wine. Or I have"

"something a little more exotic, perhaps? Like, oh, say, a handsome trader and inventor, perhaps?" Orimus said, giving Salmoneus a look that would have had several Vestal Virgins screaming and running for cover.

"Iuh-erm." said Salmoneus itelligently. he blinked rapidly as he stuttered. What was going on? First Hercules, now some stranger?

Orimus moved closser to the jittery tinker, and placed a gentle hand on his arm. "Yeah, you, ya big stud."

Hercules, standing nearby, mooning at Salmoneus, froze at these words. Some little...pipsqueak was hitting on _his_ Sal? Oh, no way in Tartarus!!

Zeus smirked as he felt Hercules' rage. Time now for a little fun. Zeus waved a hand, and there was suddenly a protective barrier around Orimus that made the hair on the actor's arm stand on end. Another wave and Zeus ensured that Hercules wouldn't be hurting anyone if he so much as laid a finger on Orimus' arm.

"Get away from him," snarled a voice right behind Orimus, causing the man to stiffen slightly. However, nothing of this fear was betrayed in the insolent manner in which he turned and faced Hercules.

"Or you'll do what?" sneered Oriums, privately sending a prayer to Zeus that he'd remember to sheild him from the serious owies Hercules looked about to inflict.

"Or I'll do this," but Hercules got no further as there was a blinding flash of light and the demigod was sent flying across the square, where he landed in a dazed heap at his father's feet.

Zeus looked at his son with gleeful amusement apparent in every plane of his face. He tsked aloud, savoring every second of what he was about to impart.

"Hercules, as punishment for not only influencing me and causing serious problems amongst the Greek Pantheon, as well as with the Egyptian and Germanic Pantheons, but for also laying a hand on an innocent with the intent to harm, you have been suitably punished.

"How?" croaked a stilldazed Hercules.

"You're strength has been taken away."

Iolaus looked at Joxer, figuring that he would answer, but the God of Peace was looking at Hera waiting for a response. Apparetly, he didn't know either.

"Joxer, take Thea and sit down. This is going to take some time." Hera picked up Cora herself, grabbed a milk skin, and sat in a comfortable rocking chair.

Joxer shrugged, picked up his daughter, and snagged both other milk skins, handing one to Iolaus as he passed, and sat in another chair.

Hera sighed as Joxer sat down, then began to speak. "I'll tell you what happened with Hercules and Zeus, but you must promise that you won't say anything at all to anyone."

Both men nodded, and waited for Hera to continue.

"The first thing Hercules did was to insult the entire Pantheon, even moreso than usual. He was talking to one of the godlings, who was in disguise, and said that, and I quote, 'The entire lunatic asylum on Olympus is made up of brainless idiots who abuse their power and mortals'."

Joxer gaped at Hera while Iolaus groaned. Joxer also looked as if he wanted to say something but thought better of it as Hera went on.

"Of course, since that's technically true, in many respects, no one reacted, though a few tempers did flare."

"Is that why there was an eclipse a couple of weeks ago? Apollo was one of the ones who lost his temper?" Iolaus looked curious.

Hera nodded, her lips forming what could have been a wry smile. "May I continue?"

Both men flushed, and looked down at the babies they were feeding.

"Anyway, it might have blown over, if it weren't for the fact that Hercules discovered an intersting little facet to his bond with his father. Unfortunately, he discovered it at a most inopportune time, causeing something that we've been working on for centuries to be set back at least several decades. He discovered that he could influence Zeus"

Hera looked extremely pained as she continued. "We, Zeus and I, were in a meeting with Odin and Frigga of the Germanic Pantheon and Isis and Osiris of the Egyptian Pantheon. We were in the final stages of negotiating a truce between all of us, when Zeus, apparently out of nowhere, called Osiris a reconstructed freak who allowed mortal men to compare themselves to gods and Odin a one-eyed idiot who can't control his own brother."

Iolaus managed to choke back a laugh. Not that it was really funny, but that Zeus had actually said that...

Joxer looked sad. "You mean, if Herclues hadn't acted the idiot, there might have actually been peace amongst the Pantheons?"

Hera nodded sadly, and Joxer focused on feeding Amalthea for a moment, so that neither Hera nor Iolaus saw the two tears that slipped down his cheeks.

"There's more," said Hera gently. "Zeus then went around and told_our_pantheon what he thought of them. He told Demeter that she was a possesive control freak, Apollo that he was a sex-crazed moron and Hermes that he was a winged kleptomaniac."

"Klept-o-what?" Iolaus looked comfused.

"Kleptomaniac. Theif," supplied Joxer absently, trying to burp Thea without having her spit up. It didn't work, and Hera zapped away the small puddle with a grin.

"Well, suffice it to say that Zeus was less than pleased when he realized that he had insulted Odin and Osiris as well...I have never seen Zeus that angry before." Hera paled at the memory.

"So, Zeus is taking revenge by making Herc want Salmoneus?" Iolaus was starting to look as if he realized how much of a dingbat his friend really was.

Joxer opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a rather frantic call from Ares.

(Jox! Come fix this! I don't know what's going on, but I think you need to get in here!)

Joxer looked, startled, at Hera and Iolaus. "Keep an eye on the girls, will you? Ares needs my help." With that, he laid Amalthea in her crib and flashed out of the room



Apollo and Gabrielle looked as if they were trying to swap tonsils and Strife and Cupid weren't much better.

*Good Gods.* Ares had just realized that he had a raging hard-on, which he was stroking slowly through the leather of his pants as he watched his son and nephew and his brother and the bard.

(Jox! Come fix this! I don't know what's going on, but I think you need to get in here!) Of course, Joxer needed to appear so that Ares could fuck him senseless, but his husband didn't need to know that. Joxer appeared in a flash of blue light, right next to his husband. "Ares, what's up? Why-" Ares grabbed Joxer and started to plunder his husband's sweet mouth. Oh, gods, how sweet and delectable he is, thought Ares as he pressed his body against Joxer's, gripping his lover's firm ass and grinding his groin against the startled but bery aroused peace god.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Strife moaned as he felt oil seep from his body. Cupie was such a thoughtful husband. He roamed his hands over the broad golden expanse of muscle in front of him.

"Cupe, I need ya," panted Strife as his husband did wicked things with his fingers.

"Need you, too," moaned Cupid, pulling Strife down to the ground and climbing on top of him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Gabrielle gasped as her clothes disappeared, leaving her naked on Apollo's lap...his rather pointy lap, she though, shifting a bit.

"Quit moving, little bard, or you're going to get a surprise," Apollo growled against Gabrielle's mouth, causing her to freeze briefly before wickedly squirming again.

Apollo moaned and pulled her legs around so that they were wrapped around his waist. "Hold on tight, we're going for a ride."

With that, Apollo flashed them to his temple.



Joxer tried to control the shuddering of his body as he lay sprawled across the top of Ares’ prone form. The climax both had just achieved had spread an incredible lassitude throughout the bodies of both gods, rendering them unable to move.

“Mmmm, Jox, as good as it feels to have you laying on top of me, you’re starting to crush me.” Ares murmered sleepily.

“Sorry, love,” said Joxer, as he rolled to the side. Landing on the satin sheets, me curled close into his husband’s side, and started to drift to sleep.

Ares listened as Joxer’s breathing slowly regulated. He loved his husband so much, and it always gave him the warm fuzzies whenever he thought about their life together.

Warm fuzzies? Ares became instantly alert. He never use the phrase warm fuzzies, not even in his thoughts. It just wasn’t the kind of word he would use. Something was peculiar. Now that he thought about it, a lot of things were peculiar. As much as he loved Joxer, he had never called to him in the middle of the day, just to fuck him. He had also never gotten aroused watching Cupid and Strife kiss. What on Olympus was going on?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Strife panted hard as he pounded into his lover’s ass. “Come for me, Cupe,” he ground out, angling his dick so that it rubbed against Cupid’s sweet spot.

Cupid groaned, and Strife felt the muscles in the love god’s ass contract as an orgasm washed over his body. That’s all Strife had been waiting for, and he released a hot jet into his husband, both of them frozen motionless.

Without warning, Cupid collapsed, somehow managing to pull Strife around and next to him. Strife had reason to believe that a brief burst of power was used, but every time Cupid did it, Strife was too tired and satisfied to try and work out how.

“Love you, Mischief,” mumbled Cupid, one muscular arm wrapped possesivly about his husbands waist.

“Love ya, too, Love,” returned Strife, settling himself for his normal post-sex think. Strife wasn’t sure why, but he always planned best after sex with Cupie.



Strife suddenky had a thought. Why was he suddenly over come with an incredible urge to screw Cupe into the mattress? Sure), he found him sexy and incredibly hot, but he usually managed to control himself. What was different this time?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Apollo winced as he rolled over. His little bard had managed to ride him raw, not something that many people could accomplish. As a matter of fact, it had never happened in his memory.

Gabrielle tensed up when she felt Apollo roll over. She was afraid that he had been dreaming and that she was going to wake up, and be in some clearing, snuggled up with Xena by her side. Not that she would mind, but Apollo had always been her dream guy, and she finally had him. She just hoped that he never found out about the gun.

Apollo tensed slightly. He had been monitoring Gabrielle’s thoughts once he realized that she was awake. He hadn’t wanted to alert her to the fact that he was also awake, so had listened in on her thoughts, to see how she was reacting. That’s when he caught her thought about a gun. He immediately searched through her memory, and saw all that had transpired in Ares’ living room.

Gabrielle suddenly found herself hanging upside down, suspended from a wooden beam by her ankles.

“All right, love, tell me. What does this little gun have to do with me?” Gabrielle shivered at the deceptively sweet tone in Apollo’s voice. Oh, Tartarus, they were all in for it now.



Gabrielle hung from the ceiling, staring, red-faced, down at her god, Apollo. She was slightly afraid of him at the moment, worried at what he might do to her, just to get the story from her.

"Apollo, what are you talking about? What do you mean the gun? I have no idea what you are talking about." Gabby prayed to herself that he didn’t start tickling her. Zeus knew that she would tell anything, just to stop someone from tickling her.

And the prayer immediately went to Apollo. He smirked, rather evilly, and caressed his captive’s cheek. "Don’t you know, my dear bard, that any undirected prayer from you, one of my dedicated, will come straight to me, your god. I now know exactly what to do to you to get you to talk. Silly of you, actually."

Gabrielle whimpered as a feather something appeared in Apollo’s hand. "NO, please, please!! I’ll tell you anything that you want! Just don’t tickle me!"

Apollo traced the tips of the feather bundle he held in his hand down the upside down girl’s leg. "I suggest you do just that, my dear, or you are going to find out just how unmerciful I am with people that I love."

Gabby gasped, then started babbling out the whole story, from Xena’s idea of a visit to Joxer’s knowledge of her secret, at which point Apollo decided to reaquaint himself with her tonsils, to the plan they concocted, to the strange feeling that had come over her when Apollo had touched her.

"So, there is a new toy on Olympus, is there? I might just have to get my hands on it, just so that I can do a little payback." As he was speaking, Apollo was using little burst of power to untie Gabrielle and transport her back to his bed. "After I expolore this little intrest that you have had in me, my darling bard."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jace and Xena, finally fully clothed, emerged from her room that they had been sent to. They grinned foolishly as they made their way down the hall to the room that Xena remembered from before to be the living room. The sight that they saw was enough to make them back out of the room quickly.

"Was that your brother?" Xena asked, incredulous. She couldn’t believe that she had actually seen Joxer looking incredibly graceful. Never mind the fact that he was screwing her father through the floor.

"Yeah, I think that it was. They make quite a pair, don’t they?" Jace sounded immensely proud of his brother.

"What about Cupid and Strife? I didn’t know that Cupid’s wings could keep that much weight in the air."

Jace smirked. "Well, apparently, they are strong enough to hold up two fully grown men!"

Xena was cautiously trying the door again. This time, all of the occupants were dressed, and sitting in various places around the room. Seeing that it was now safe to come into the room, Xena grabbed her lover’s hand and pulled him into the room.

Just in time to run into Eris, who was bringing back Bliss.

"Oops, sorry, Eris. I didn’t mean to run into you. I didn’t see you there." Xena hastily backed up, just in case Eris decided not to be very forgiving.

She didn’t have to worry. Eris broke into a genuine grin. "That’s fine, Xena. I did just pop in. Not fair of me to punish you for not knowing I was going to show up there."

Xena smiled back hesitantly and quickly claimed a overlarge chair. She sat Jace down in it, and climbed into his lap. Jace, in turn, wrapped his arms around her waist.

Joxer grinned to see his brother and step-daughter looking so happy together.

Eris cleared her throat as she handed Bliss back to his fathers. " I don’t know about you guys, but I would rather like to know what’s going on with this strange little toy of Cupid’s. And to figure out how to keep it away from some of the other inhaitants of Olympus, ones who might try and use it for their own good. And our ungood."

Strife looked at his mother. "Is ungood even a word, Ma?" And then he ducked the fireball that was negligently tossed his way.



Hephaestus was sitting in a chair, clutching his head. "Oh, ‘Dite, it feels as if some one stole my hammer and is using my head as the anvil."

‘Dite chuckled quietly as she passed a steaming goblet to her husband. "Here, drink this. It’ll make you feel better."

Heph gulped down the liquid, made a face, and gagged slightly. "May make me feel better, but it tastes like Strife’s cooking!"

He sat there for a couple moments longer, still clutching his head. He didn’t think that his hangover was from so much wine as from making that iodiotic gun. He knew that it was a bad idea. ‘Dite had told him that she was getting a mega charge from the direction of the Temple of War and a smaller one from the Temple of the Sun. The only explanation that he could come up with was that damned gun from his dream.

The punding suddenly eased in his head, and he no longer felt as if he had to hunch over. He grinned up at his wife. "All better, love. That stuff really does work."

Aphrodite grinned up at him from the crib where she was bending over Zephyr. "I’ve had lots of practice perfecting it. Between Ares and Cupid and Strife, as well as the rest of Olympus, it’s become quite powerful.

"Do you think that it’s time to go and see what Ares and Cupid have discovered about that weapon?" asked Hephaestus, zapping himself some new clothing.

"Probably is," replied his wife, picking up their granddaughter. "Let’s go," she said, and flashed out.

And flashed into the room where the rest of the House of Love was. "Hi, sweetie, I brought back your daughter," she said to Strife, handing him the baby.

Strife’s face lit up as he looked down at his daughter. Joxer noticed that Zephyr looked a bit hungry. Then he thought of his own daughters. "Strife, why don’t you and I go and take care of the kids? Bliss, you want to come with?"

As Strife stood, Bliss hung from his neck. "Yeah!" Strife grinned and followed Joxer from the room.

Ares and Cupid watched them go, both very proud of their husbands. Xena noticed the looks and nudged Jace, who hugged her a little tighter. Aphrodite caught the movement out of the corner of her eye and focused on her niece. And her eyes got very big.

"Uh, Xena? Could I talk to you for a second? You too, Jace?" Aphrodite spoke quietly, moving a little closer to the pair.

Xena looked a little startled, but agreed immediately. She followed her aunt into the corner of the room, leading her lover by the hand, as she seemed to be developing a habit towards.

Aphrodite turned and faced the curious pair. "I don’t know how much you two know about godly powers, but one of the benefits of being a love god is that we can immediately tell when one of our matches is pregnant."

Jace looked dumbfounded. Xena just looked confused. "’Dite, what are you saying?"

Jace grinned at Aphrodite, telling her that he understood. She grinned back and left them, standing in the corner.

Xena turned to Jace. "Jace, is she saying what I think she’s saying?"

Jace grinned at the woman he loved. "Xena, love of my heart, she’s saying that you’re going to have a baby!"

The entire room was startled by a shriek, and turned to see Xena jumping into Jace’s arms.

"Xena, what is it?" asked Ares in alarm.

"I’m going to have a baby!" she squealed, still hanging from Jace’s neck.

The entire room erupted into cheers and applause. Congratulations rang through the room as everyone surrounded the happy couple.

And then Ares fainted.



For a moment, just a brief moment, everyone in the room stared at Ares, laying unconsious, crumpled on the floor. It was such a strange sight to see the big bad god of war unconsious that no one could move.

Then both Cupid and Jace sprang forward, and pulled him into a chair. Cupid materialized some smelling salts and waved them under his father's nose.

"Come on, Dad. Don't do that. Really not a good idea." Cupid slid his hand under his Dad's neck, shaking gently, trying to get him to wake up.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Meanwhile, in the nursery, Joxer and Strife, with Hera and Iolaus, who had never left, were changing four squirmig little girls while Bliss ran from one to the other, "helping" as best he could.

"Blissy, why don't you go sit in the chair over there, and I'll bering Zephyr over," said Strife, about the thirtieth time the little boy had squeezed the bottle of baby powder.

The little godling complied, settling himself and opening his arms for his baby sister, carefull cradling her head as he'd ben taught, when Strife laid Zephyr in his arms.

Hera smiled at Joxer and Iolaus, both of whom were now holding freshly changed babies, when she felt a jolt. She looked around in surprise, her eyes settling on Joxer.

"Ares has just fainted because of his pregnancy. Why did you not tell me my son was pregnant with your child? Congratulations are in order..." Hera trailed off when she saw the shock mixed with confusion on his face.

"Wha...what do...what do you mean, Lady Hera? Ares isn't...I mean, he wasn't...I mean how...oh, Tartarus," Joxer stammered, staring in shock at the Goddess of Marriage and Childbirth.

"He's pregnant, Joxer. In fact," and Hera paused and concentrated, "he's just recently pregnant, and so is Cupid."

It was Strife's turn to look shocked and startled, as he looked up from Bliss and Zephyr. "Cupe's preggers?" and he flashed out of the room.

Joxer stared at Iolaus, then at Hera, then down at his daughter in his arms, over at Bliss, who was still holding Zephyr, and then at Iolaus again. "I think that perhaps we are all needed in the main chamber?"

Hera nodded and walked over to where Bliss was seated, and took Zephyr from him carefully. "We're going to change rooms, Bliss, dear, then you can hold Zephyr again. ok?"

"Otay, Gramma Hera!" and Bliss bounced out of the chair and into the next room, as the adults followed more slowly, as they were carrying four babies amongst them.

Joxer immdeiately went over to Ares and kissed him softly. "Wake up," he commanded, and Ares opened his eyes.

Xena looked vaguely startled. "How did you do that?"

Joxer grinned at his daughter-in-law. "Easy. He knows he wouldn't get any if he didn't listen to me."

The entire room errupted into laughter.



Everyone laughed at Joxer's comment, except for Joxer and Ares, both of whom were too involved in their conversation with each other to notice anything else.

"Ares, Lady Hera told me something that I think is really important for you to know. She told me the reason why you fainted."

"I fainted because Xena told me she was going to be a mother, that the father is Jace...didn't I?" something in Joxer's eyes told Ares that he knew something else, that that wasn't the reason he, Ares, God Of War, had fainted. Come to think of it, Ares knew that wasn't the reason. too.

"No, Ares. Lady Hera told me that you're pregnant." said Joxer quietly, his fingers rubing his husband's cheek lightly.

"I'm...I'm...excuse me, I'm WHAT?!?!"

Ares' shout startled everyone to silence, Cupid and Strife blinking rapidly as they looked up at him from where they were playing with their children, Hera, Xena, and Jace looking faintly amused from the corner of the room, and everyone else staring in shock.

"You're pregnant Ares. Apparently earlier, while we were...*ahem* influenced, you became pregnant." said Joxer, looking over ast Strife pointedly.

Strife took the hint and laid his hand on Cupid's arm. "You are too, babe. Preggers, I mean. Hera said so." He looked apprehensivly at his mate, wondering what the reaction would be.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Apollo watched Gabrielle sleep, trying to figure out what it was that was different about her, why she seemed to be faintly glowing. He sliped into diagonostic mode, and scanned her body looking for something that was wrong...and stopped. He scanned again...and again...and again. And then Apollo started to get angry.

His anger grew and grew until he realized one little detail. What he was sensing had only been there for a few hours. A few hours meant it was his fault. It meant that he, Apollo, was going to be a father again, and this time, he loved the mother enough to marry her and keep her on Olympus.

Gabrielle was woken up by the unfamilar sensation of male hands caressing her stomach. She opened her eyes and was startled to see Apollo staring intently at her flat abdomen, fingers trailing over the skin.

"Apollo? What are you doing?" she asked, curiously, muscles twitching in response to the tickling sensation.

He looked up at her face, blue eyes shining. "I'm talking to our baby, telling it that it's loved, and hurry up and grow and get here." He smiled gently as an array of emotions played across the face of his beloved.

"B-b-baby?" Gabby whispered, eyes wide. Shock, confusion, surprise, fear, and elation were all vying for promenance, but excitment was the emotion that won. Suddenly, Apollo had his arms full of squirming, wriggling bard.

"I'm going to be a mother! You're going to be a father! I'm going to have your baby! Oh, Apollo!" and she kissed him hard, making further speech impossible.

Several minutes later, Apollo pulled away, remembering that she, as a mortal still, needed to breath. "Perhaps we should go and find my mother, and get married, and perhaps make you an immortal, if not a goddess." Apollo flashed clothes onto them both, focused on his mother's power signature, and flashed them both away...

...And into absolute chaos. Everyone in the room was jumping, laughing, talking rapidly, or just flat out running around, as was the case with Bliss, who was yelling, "I's gonna be a brover agin! I's gonna be a brover agin!"

Apollo stared around the room, holding Gabby close to his side, looking around for his mother. She saw him, and smiled, then asked everyone to be quiet.

Then loudly asked eveyrone to be quiet.

Then screamed for everyone to be quiet.

Everyone stared at the normaly fairly quiet Queen of the Gods, as she smiled sweetly at all of them. "Now that I have your attention, I would like everyone to sit down. Pregnant men and women, please sit on that couch, spouses, you must leave them be. Apollo, I mean it, let Gabrielle go."

Everyone stared, goggle eyed, as Apollo reluctantly released Gabrielle, as she moved to sit on the couch indicated by Hera. Cupid, Ares, and Xena all joined her, each staring at the others in wonder, trying to figure out what was going on.



Everyone stared expectantly at Hera, who suddenly turned to Heph, who was sitting with Bliss on his lap, next to Dite, who had Zephyr on hers.

"Hephaestus, what did you make those pellets out of? Could you call some of the metal here?" Hera asked her son, mind working frantically, trying to figure out why four new lives had been created in the space of 6 hours.

While she waited for Heph to call up the metal, she paced in front of the four on the couch, thinking out loud.

"Ares, Cupid, Xena, and Gabrielle are all pregnant with babies, conceived within 6 hours of each other. Three of them are godly babies, one of them will be a demi-god, with no interferience...perhaps that one is meant to be a god?" Here she paused, looking at Xena closely, before resuming her pacing.

"Cupid's is Son of Strife, Ares' is Daughter of Joxer, Gabrielle's is Daughter of Apollo, Xena's is Son of Jace," and before she could continue, she was interupted by gasps from the four on the couch and their respective mates. She smiled as she realized that she had just told them the sex of their babies, but didn't let it stop her.

"Four babies, strange weapon, dreams..." Hera paced rapidly, mind working furiously, but she could not come up with a solution.

Not, at least, until her eyes came to rest on Iolaus, who was still holding Coranira. And glowing. Glowing brightly. Glowing more brightly than a mortal had any right to glow. She stared at him, confused, until something she had said to Joxer earlier clicked.

Before she could say anything, however, Iolaus looked up, eyes glowing a bright vibrant blue. He stood, handed the baby he was holding to her startled father, Joxer, and went to stand before the couch.

"You four are the bearers of the four children of my awakening. Honesty, daughter of Ares and Joxer, Strategy, son of Xena, goddess of weaponry, and Jace, god of the dance, Pranks, son of Cupid and Strife, and Inspiration, daughter of Gabrielle, muse of history, and Apollo. These four have united the rifts in family, have mended friendships, and created stronger bonds between friends. They have awoken me, the God of Fertility, a god who will be very much needed in future centuries, and for that, I thank them."

Iolaus, who was now visibly glowing a brilliant gold color, turned to Hephaestus. "The dream you had to cause you to create the gun was sent to you by the Fates. You chose to make the bb's out of Cupid's fertility metal," and he pointed to the little bag in Heph's hand, "because the charge that metal creates when mixed with your normal metal caused the sexual charge that overcame Xena and Jace, and Apollo and Gabrielle. Even moreso, Joxer, Ares, Strife, and Cupid were all suseptible to the charge, because of their love for each other. The Fates caused the four babies growing now to be concieved so that I would awake."

Iolaus stopped speaking, the glow around him dying down as he stopped speaking. Everyone in the room stared at him, open mouthed, except for the children who were all sleeping. Hera cleared her throat.

"It's certainly nice to know that you've finally arrived at your gohood Iolaus. We knew you would, there was a prophesy about it, but we didn't know what would trigger it. It's wonderful to finally know. I think that some things need to be taken care of now, so please, if you would, be seated?"

Iolaus complied, sitting quickly, and taking Coranira back from Joxer, who just stared in shock. Hera smiled, then turned to Xena, Jace, and Gabrielle.

"Iolaus has told you that you are to become gods and godesses. It is time now, especially for you two," she said, looking at Xena and Gabby, "for you to take on these godhoods, so that your children will be able to accept their godhoods."

She materialized three goblets of ambrosia, and handed them to each mortal before her.

"Gabrielle, drink, and become the Muse of History. Xena, drink, and become the Goddess of Weaponry. Jace, drink, and become the God of the Dance." All three complied, a faint golden glow encompassing them all, before it faded, leaving behind three new immortals.

Just then, Clio flashed into the room, clutching her stomach, and falling to her knees. Iolaus was instantly on his feet, and at her side, shifting Cora to one arm as he knelt next to the muse.

"Clio? Clio, darling, are you all right?" he asked in concer, causing a few eyebrows to raise in the process.

The woman shuddered, eyes closed, leaning against Iolaus. "I don't know what happened...I just felt something ripped out of me,,I feel so empty."

Hera came quickly carrying another goblet of ambrosia. "Forgive me, Clio, that was my fault. I didn't have you transfered to your godhood before I gave your musehood to Gabrielle. Drink this, Clio, and become Goddess of Writting."



The room had long since quieted down, the new gods, goddesses, and new muse all currently ensconsced in various sets of arms. Hera was talking quietly with Clio and Iolaus, Ares and Joxer with Xena and Jace, and Cupid and Strife were having a surprsingly civil converstaion with Gabrielle and Apollo. Aphrodite and Hephaestus had taken all the children few hours ago to be put to bed, and all that remained were these 11 people.

Suddenly, Strife sat bolt upright, concentrated, and burst into hysterical giggles. Everyone focused on him, wondering what could have caused this reaction. Then Hera felt it and started to laugh as well. Slowly, everyone in the room began to feel a shift in power, a shift in someone that they all knew.

Hera grinned. "It seems as if none of us will ever have to worry about Hercules messing with our plans again, my fellow deities. A headache that I certainly didn't need has been relieved. I suggest we all toast Zeus, and wish Hercules luck with life as a mortal."

A quick flash, and everyone in the room was holding a gobblet of ambrosia. Toasts were made, cheers exchanged, while everyone gave Strife ideas for what he could do to Herc.

After a while, couples began to make excuses to get home, or to borrowed rooms, in the case of Xena and Jace. Good byes were made, hugs and kisses exchanged, and a promise to gather every year on this day was sworn, none of them wanting to forget the most momentus day of their lives.

*~*Ten Years Later*~*

"Alicia, stop chasing your cousins around the room. No, I don't care that Perrin...he did what?" Joxer pulled his 9 year old daughter to him, looking down at the top of her hair, where there was a bright blue patch in the otherwise golden hair. He blinked, then let his daughter go so she could chase her nephew around the room.

"Strife, you need to stop teaching Perrin all those tricks. I know that he's God of Pranks...but he IS only 9. He doesn't know how to control himself yet," Cupid said, gently chastising his husband, as he held their latest child, a tiny little girl named Airlia.

Strife smirked, but nodded, and called Perrin to him, quietly expolaining to him that he couldn't dye little girl's hair. And then he thought about it, and told him that he couldn't dye ANYONE's hair. Perrin nodded quietly, and began planning new pranks to play on his family.

Clio and Gabrille sat talking at another table, each one holding a baby boy, discussing the problems inherant with being a muse, with convincing people that what you were whispering in their ear was, in fact, the best idea.

Apollo, watching his wife and his former muse, was currently playing jungle gym for several children under the age of seven, but he didn't look like he minded in the least.

Ares, who was standing next to his mother and Iolaus, had two little boys clinging to his legs, but didn't even seem to notice, as he walked around without even a limp. Iolaus had a little girl hanging from his neck, and another clinging to his hands, but he also didn't seem to notice, as he discussed the rescent boom in the Olyumpus population with Hera, using Cupid and Strife as example.

"Iolaus, don't you think that ten children in 12 years is quite enough?" the queen of the gods asked as she held onto Xena and Jace's latest baby, a little boy, Talos.

Iolaus grinned. "Believe it or not, Hera, I have noting to do with that. Those two take care of their own mini population explosion all on their own. I haven't touched it."

"Are you sure?" Hera still sounded skeptical, not sure if she should believe the God of Fertility.

He smiled. "Why would I bother? We ARE talking about Love and Mischief here. More specifically, LOVE. There isn't a thing that I HAVE to accomplish."

She had to laugh at that comment. Iolaus had a very valid point. Who needed to interfere in the God Of Love's life?

A little while later, Zeus stood up, and cleared his throat. Since he was much more tolerable now than he had ever been before, everyone one in the room, quieted down willingly, waiting to hear what he had to say.

"All of you know that this is the tenth aniversary of the day Hercules was relieved of his godly power, of the day that three of the couples here realized their love for each other," and he smiled at Apollo and Gabrielle, Xena and Jace, and Clio and Iolaus. "This is also the day that we have dedicated to the presentation of any new children among these couples. In the past 9 years, we've had 20 babies presented to us. Today we have four more, three little boys and one lovely little girl. Gentlemen, would you step forward with your children?"

Iolaus, Jace, Apollo, and Strife stepped forawrd, each holding a tiny slightly squirming bundle in his arms. The mothers, or other father, in the case of Cupid, smiled lovingly at their children and spouses.

"These four children, though they have been named to their godhoods, have not yet had them bestowed. We will take care of that right now. Strife, please step forward."

Stife, squirming daughter in his arms, stepped in front of Zeus.

"Let it be known that this child of Love and Mischief is Airlia, Goddess of Passion." Zeus took the little girl carefully from her father, and held her up for the room to see, a faint pink glow surronding her.

Applause filled the room, the baby was returned to her parents, and Iolaus was called forward.

"Let it be known that this child of Fertility and Writing is Phoenix, God of Language." Again, Zues took the baby from his father, and held him up, though the glow was pale blue.

The process was repeated, with a green glow for Talos, God of Strength, son of Xena and Jace, and a yellow glow for Tymon, God of Patience, son of Apollo and Gabrielle. After the last child had beenreturned to his parents, Zeus spoke again.

"This brings the total of children between five couples to 29. Would all those children please come up here?" Zeus smiled as a quiet buzz began. The babies were handed to Bliss, Coranira, Amalthea, and Mettalora, while Zephyr hereded the toddlers towards Zeus. The sight created by almost thirty children standing in one place was rather intimidating.

Zeus smiled at his family, adults and children alike. "I would like to tell you all how much I love you. 10 years ago I wouldn't have been able to tell you who the newest godlings were. Now, I would like to show you that I have, in fact, changed." He paused to let everyone laugh, smiliong and laughing a little himself. "I don't expect you all to really know why I'm doing this, but bear with me."

He started naming the children, running from the oldest to the youngest, including their godhoods.

"Bliss, God of Happiness, Zephyr, Goddess of Wind, Amalthea, Goddess of Agility, Coranira, Goddess of Balance, Mettalora, Goddess of Accuracy, Alicia, Goddess of Honesty, Perrin, God of Pranks, Isadora, Goddess of Inspiration, Conway, God of Strategy," As each child was named, a small smile graced his or her lips, pleased that Zeus knew who they were. "Dmitri, God of Fun, Evander, God of Honor, Dorian, God of Revenge, Irene, Goddess of Stories, Alicina, Goddess of Will, Ariadne, Goddess of Lust, Damalis, God of Loyalty, Desdemona, Goddess of Hate, Myles, God of Calmness, Elena, Goddess of the Sunrise, Greta, Goddess of the Sunset, Dora, Goddess of Talent, Gelasia, Goddess of Laughte, Evelyn, Goddess of Chastity, Ophelia, Goddess of Grace, Soterios, God of Protection, Haidee, Goddess of Modesty, Airlia, Goddess of Passion, Phoenix, God of Language, Talos, God of Strength, and Tymon, God of Patience."

Applause broke out in the room as everyone congratulated Zeus on his accomplishment. Hera came to stand next to her husband as the children went back to their parents, and hugs and kisses were given out cheerfully.

"I'm proud of you, Old Goat. You've come a long way in ten years." she said, sliding under his arm.

"Yeah, I have. First and foremost, found my greatest treasure right where i wasn't looking...in my own home. You and my family are what is important to me know, Hera, like it should have been all these years." replied Zeus, smiling down at his wife.

"Yes, but that is all in the past. Time now to look at the future. And what a glorious one it will be!"

Zeus smiled, looking at the swarm of children. "Yes. Hail, the future of Olympus!"

The End!!!!

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