Welcome to AresJoxerCupidStrife

Title: Postcards from Hell
Author: toscas_kiss@yahoo.com
Fandom: Xena, Warrior Princess
Rating: PG.
Pairing: Implied
Warnings: Bad language. Worse grammar.
Notes: Just what it says! This actually scans better
if you read it from my website:
www.angelfire.com/grrl/toscaskiss/pfh.htm

Postcards from Hell

To: Ares, GOW
Temple of Ares, God of War
(yeah, the Big Black Building, ya moron)
Sparta

Dear Unc,
Get me the f##k outta here!
The food sux, the weather sux, the service is lousy
and the interior decoratin' makes your digs look like
the Temple a Sunshine and Happiness.
Your devoted nephew
Strife

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To: Eris, Goddess of Discord
Temple of Discord
15 B Laurel Drive
Corinth
(screw this one up an Mom is so gonna have yer ass)

Mom,
Whaddya mean "Typical!"???
Like I got up that morning and said "Oh, looks like a
peachy day ta die."?
NOT!
Your loving son,
Strife

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To: Cupid, GOL
Temple of Cupid, God of Love
(Big. White. Pink Drapes. Nude statues. Frescoes a
various people an animals writhing in impossible -
well impossible for a mortal anyway - positions. Ya
gettin' the picture?)
Thebes

Hey Wingboy,
How's it hangin? Hope you and Bliss is well.
I'm good, keepin myself busy. Great Unc gets me to do
stuff with the guys in Tartarus mainly, though it
ain't so much fun as they keep comin back. Repetition
bores me.
Actually this whole gig sux. I'm bored.
Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored.
An a bored Strife is not a good thing, right?
I miss you.
Strife

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To: Gabby
AKA annoyin blonde bimbo
Gabrielle's Parents House
Some little hick town called Poteideia
(I dunno, somewhere near Athens?)

Gabby,
The weather here's really hot.
Wish you were here.
Strife

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To: Joxer
c/o Ares, GOW
Temple of Ares, God of War
(yeah, the Big Black Building AGAIN. Sheesh!)
Sparta

Hi Jox,
I got ta see Unc for a bit, an he said ya was real
upset about what went down wit me n that blonde psycho
bitch from heck. Don't worry, it weren't your fault at
all, an things is lookin up. It ain't so bad around
here. I got the run a the whole place, and I gotta
tell ya, Tartarus can be real entertaining. The
Elysian Fields are like serious Dullsville, but I
livened it up fer a while. Great Unc's banned me from
there now however. Some people can't take a joke, even
when they're dead. Death does not improve the sense of
humor! Oops, runnin outta space, write you later, bye,
Strife

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To: Hades, King of the Dead
The Underworld
(whaddaya mean, ya don't deliver there? ya do now -
one way or another, geddit?)

Dear Great Uncle Hades,
Grandma said I should write a letter ta thank ya for
your hospitality durin my vacation.
So, thanks for the bunk at Club Dead, but ya'll
forgive me if I try not ta repeat the experience.
Regards,
Strife, God of Mischief
House of War, Olympus
P.S. Tell Charon he can find his loot in the cavern
three down from the Mall of Mauve Hotpants 'n other
Torments for Dead Fashion Victims, or whateva the
official name is. Behind the big grey rock (I think).
P.P.S. Oh an that phobia Cerebus's developed about
zips? That's got nothin ta do wid me.

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