AresJoxerCupidStrife - Brandy

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

The Search for Joxer
Author: Brandy
Pairings: A/J, C/S, possible implied others.
Disclaimer: I don't own or have any rights or claims to any of the
characters in this story.


Ares appeared in a brilliant flash of light, and paced back and forth
in front of Xena and Gabrielle's campfire.

Xena looked up from her roasted rabbit in annoyance. "Go away, Ares.
We're trying to eat." She growled at the War God.

Ares sneered at the rabbit and suddenly, Gabrielle chomped down onto
thin air.

"Do you realize that's the first thing we've had to eat in a day?"
Xena stated quietly, as she slowly got to her feet, and reached for
her sword.

"Relax, I'll give it back." Ares muttered distractedly, as he
continued pacing.

Xena just stood at attention, waiting for to reveal why he was
bothering them.

Gabrielle's growling stomach broke the silence.

Ares smirked at her. "You know you should probably eat, and take care
of that." He snickered cruelly.

When Gabrielle opened her mouth to smart back, Ares zapped a huge,
dry bun into her mouth.

"Ares. What do you want?" Xena snapped out, impatient with the delay
in her supper.

Ares let out a long sigh, and swung around to face Xena. "One of my
most faithful warriors is missing."

Xena's brow crinkled briefly. "And?"

"I want you to find him."

"Why can't you find him? Shouldn't you be able to find him through
your bond if he's one of your favorites?"

Ares resumed pacing. "I've tried. It's like he disappeared
completely. I even checked with Hades, and he doesn't have him."

"Why would I help you find one of your warlords?"

Ares turned to face the Warrior Princess once more. "Because he's a
friend of yours. It's Joxer."



"Joxer? He's not a warlord." Xena asked in surprise.

"oxx?" Gabrielle attempted through her stuffed mouth.

"Yes, Joxer. Despite everything you've told him about me, he's still
one of my followers. He's prayed to me faithfully, every day since he
was a small child. He's probably the most devoted warrior that's ever
followed me. He'll never make a truly fine warlord, though. Lacks the
killer instinct. But, he's one of my best followers, and I want him
found. I've had Strife and Discord looking, but they can't find him
either. Unfortunately, you're my last choice. Maybe you can
anticipate his moves, since you know him better."

Xena quirked her eyebrow.

Gabrielle finally managed to spit out the majority of the bun filling
her mouth. "Oxer's ot a warror!" She attempted to shout.

Ares simply quirked his lips at her and once more filled her mouth
with dry bun. "Joxer would have been the best heroes or warriors
Greece's had ever seen, if his mother hadn't pissed off a god."

"Who?" Xena asked sharply.

"Aphrodite, of course. That's the only way she could do her little
bit of mischief with the bell. What you saw then was who Joxer was
meant to become. Once his mother dies, the curse will be lifted on
him. She likes him, now that she knows him."

"What did Joxer's mother do?"

"She cheated on her husband with one of `Dite's current squeeze toys."

"Where was he the last time you checked on him?" Xena asked, eyeing
the growing mound of bread in front of Gabrielle, her stomach
clenching in envy.

"He was two days outside of Corinth, heading south."

"Alright, Ares, we'll go look for him, but not for you, for him."
Xena answered as she relaxed her stance.

Ares breathed a slow sigh of relief and disappeared.

"Wait just a …ARES, WHERE'S MY RABBIT!" Xena yelled at the sky.

Suddenly, dozens of live furry rabbits rained down on her head. Xena
staggered briefly under the onslaught. Getting ready to shout again,
a woven basket appeared at her feet. Xena reached down and opened the
basket, withdrawing several fruits, before finding her rabbit,
wrapped up and waiting for her at the bottom of the basket.


"No…no…no more rabbits." Xena muttered in her sleep.

"Xena. Xena!" Gabrielle shouted from her pallet across the camp.

Xena jerked awake with a start, looking around frantically.

"Blasted War God." She muttered, coming to her feet and
stretching. "Come on, Gabrielle, let's get going."

Gabrielle groaned from her pallet, secretly yearning for another hour
of sleep.

**********

"So, Xena. What was the dream about?" Gabrielle asked curiously.

"Dream? What dream? You know, we should reach Corinth in a couple of
hours. We're making pretty good time." Xena attempted to evade the
question.

Gabrielle rolled her eyes in exasperation. "The dream that had you
talking in your sleep? Remember?"

"Oh." Xena muttered, before giving in, knowing she wouldn't get any
peace until she relented. "I kept seeing these little monstrous
rabbits, with red eyes and long fangs. They just kept coming! Nothing
I did got rid of them. I must have killed a legion of them, and they
kept coming. I figure that mound of rabbits Ares buried me under last
night has something to do with it."

Gabrielle just nodded solemnly, her lips twitching. Soon, she
couldn't hold it in any more, and loud raucous laughter spilled out.

Xena patiently stopped Argo to wait for Gabrielle to pick herself up
out of the dirt.

"Can we go now?" Xena asked sarcastically.

"Sure." Came the snickered reply.

"Hey, Xena? What do you think Ares really wants with Joxer?"
Gabrielle asked after a while.

"I don't know, and that's what bothers me. If Joxer is truly one of
Ares' favorites, Ares should have been able to locate him anywhere."

"How? I remember you said something last night about a bond."

"All of the gods have the ability to pick a few chosen followers to
bond with. Branding the gods symbol into the skin of the follower
starts the bond, then the god will rub some of their blood into the
wound, sealing it. Usually, only the most faithful priests, or
followers are gifted with the bond, since it's for life. It allows
them direct contact with their god if they need it."

Gabrielle looked at Xena contemplatively. "Do you have a brand?" She
asked quietly.

Xena looked Gabrielle in the eye. "Yes. That's how Ares finds us so
easily, and why he wants me back so badly. Sure, I was one of his
great warlords, but I was also bound to him. A bound follower is
usually only allowed to leave through death. I don't think Ares likes
the humiliation of me leaving him, and that's why he's trying so hard
to get me back. I think if I ever did go back, he'd kill me, just to
set an example."

"What does the god get from the arrangement?"

"Well, think about it. Only the most faithful followers are bonded.
That means they're also the most devout. The gods gain energy from
our prayers, so the most faithful pray more often."

"So, they're protecting their power source?"

"Near as I can figure it."

Gabrielle was quiet for quite awhile. "So, Xena, where's your brand?"
Gabrielle asked with a smirk.

************

"Did you find him yet?" Ares grilled Eris and Strife.

"No, `unc."

"We've looked everywhere, Ares. It's like he just vanished. Are you
sure Hades doesn't have him."

Ares looked at Eris considering. "No, Hades doesn't have him. He has
no reason to lie about this, but that doesn't mean another god
doesn't have him. Go back over his trail looking for energy
signatures, that should help us narrow the search."

Strife groaned, and shifted positions in his chair. "What's so
important `bout this mortal, unc?"

Ares growled, and formed a fireball, launching it at Strife's
head. "Just do as you're told!" He shouted.

Strife zapped out just in time.

Eris quickly followed.

"So, Arry, who'd you loose?" Aphrodite zapped into view, placing her
hand on a cocked hip.

"What do you want, Aphrodite?" He growled back.

Aphrodite shrugged and sauntered over to the pacing War God. "Well,
your warlord, Venereal, is making a nuisance at my temple in Messene.
I swear, Arry, that man's just a disease. He makes me wonder about
your standards for your warlords these days."

"Yeah, well, he showed promise. Don't worry, his lieutenant is about
to practice a little assassination."

"Good. I thought I was going to have to resort to something drastic.
Now, what's the prob? You're pacing around here like a caged bear."

Ares stopped his pacing, and sent a pondering look at Aphrodite. "You
aren't playing one of your games with Joxer again, are you?"

"Joxie? Nope. Actually, I haven't heard a prayer from him in a few
days. That's strange. He's usually asking for help with the blonde
bard or…" Aphrodite trailed off, realizing what she'd been about to
reveal.

"Or?" Ares sent her a sharp look.

`Dite arched her brow. "Ahh, Ahh, Ahh, you don't want to be bothered
with those pesky little love matters, remember." She taunted.

Ares growled at her, and his fingers started to spark.

"Relax, Arry. Joxie just has some strong feelings for someone he
feels is out of his reach. He's been praying to me about them."

"Who?"

"I'm sure if you think about it, the answer will hit you square in
the face, and that's all you're getting from me." `Dite smirked, and
started to leave.

"Aphrodite, wait!" Ares stopped her. "He's missing."

"Missing? How can he be missing, I thought he was one of your bonded
ones?"

"He is! I still can't find him. Can you ask Cupid if he's seen him
lately?"

"I don't know, Arry. You really should ask him yourself."

"You know he's still mad at me over the whole Psyche thing. He won't
lie to you."

"Alright, alright, but you two are going to resolve this,
soon." `Dite threatened.

"Look, it's not my fault you two picked some mortal whose only goal
was to screw her way through Olympus. And, it's certainly *not* my
fault that I was next on the list when Cupid found out. I didn't
touch the bimbo!"

"But you didn't stop Cupid, either. You *know* he can't control his
temper when he's enraged. That's why Zeus decreed he'd go to the
House of Love!"

"Yeah, well, I didn't know he'd change her into a horse. That boy has
a twisted sense of revenge."

"Hey, at least now she gets ridden all she wants, for
eternity." `Dite snorted out, breaking out into giggles.

"Well, I still say it's not my fault."

Aphrodite finally regained control of herself. "I'll ask Cupid if
he's seen Joxie, but you two will work this out in the next
week." `Dite commanded as she disappeared.

"Whatever. Love Gods." Ares snorted.


"Let's head to the castle. Joxer usually contributes to some kind of disturbance in town. They probably know the exact moment he left."

Gabrielle nodded her agreement.

"Xena! Gabrielle!" Iolaus called out in greeting.

"Iolaus! Hercules!" Gabrielle waived them over. "What are you two doing here?"

"Uh, Gabrielle, the king *is* my brother." Hercules reminded her.

"Opps, forgot about that."

Xena rolled her eyes. "Have you two been in town long?" She asked.

"No, we just got here. Iphicles sent a messenger for us. Said he had some kind of problem he needed help with." Iolaus responded.

Xena looked pensive for a moment. "Do you mind if we come along? I need to speak with Iphicles' captain of the guard."

"No, we don't mind. What's wrong?" Hercules inquired, as they started towards the castle.

"I think Joxer's in trouble, and this is the last town he was seen in."

"Trouble? What kind of trouble? No, let me guess, he tried to teach the local Hestian virgins how to fight. No, no, he already did that. Um, he tried to organize his own army, and was ran out of town when he started to sing the recruitment song..." Iolaus asked, trailing behind the two.

"He's missing, and Ares is looking for him." Gabrielle interrupted.

"Ares? What could Ares want with Joxer?" Came Iolaus puzzled reply.

"Whatever it is, it can't be good." Hercules interjected.

************

"Iphicles!" Hercules called out in greeting from across the hall.

"Hercules. Iolaus." Came Iphicles quiet reply, as he dismissed his advisors, and rose up to greet them.

"You remember Xena and Gabrielle?"

"I believe we met once, briefly. Hello."

Xena gave a little half smile and waive, while Gabrielle nodded in greeting.

"What's the emergency?" Iolaus asked, looking around.

"Claudis! Bring me the scroll!" Iphicles yelled back to one of his remaining advisors.

The advisor quickly ran forward carrying a scroll, slamming into Iphicles, knocking him to the floor. Stammering in embarrassment, the advisor crawled off Iphicles handing him the scroll, before he timidly ran back to his post.

"Here." Iphicles thrust the scroll out to Hercules, brushing himself off. "Jason's cousin." He muttered in response to their questioning stares.

Hercules unrolled the scroll, and looked up at Xena.

"Well, Xena, it appears we have the same task in common." Came Hercules worried reply.

"Why? What's it say?" She asked.

"It seems Hera has decreed that no women will be allowed to give birth in Corinth, or the surrounding area, until Joxer is presented at her temple."

"What could she possibly want with Joxer?" Gabrielle asked incredulously.

Xena started pacing back and forth. "There's got to be something we're missing. I think we need to find Joxer as fast as possible."

"Agreed." Hercules stated. "Do you have any idea where he went, Iph?"

"He's a rather clumsy fellow, with spare parts armor, who can't seem to avoid trouble." Xena tossed out.

"I believe there was some commotion three days ago. Some fellow was trying to join the army. He was rather clumsy, and injured five of my guards, and knocked several teeth out, before they managed to convince him there isn't a place for him in our army. The captain of the guard discretely followed him out of town to make sure he did leave. He muttered something about the fellow being cursed, and wanting to make sure he left." Iphicles informed them. "Does this sound like him?"

"That's Joxer, alright." Came Xena's weary reply. "Hercules, why don't you and Iolaus head south-west, and we'll head south-east. We should come across his trail pretty quickly."

*************

"Come on, Iolaus, we need to get moving again."

"Herc, look!" Iolaus reached out with his arm, trying to get Hercules attention. "Isn't that Joxer?"

"Where?"

"Right there! Sitting on that rock! He's got some sort of golden glow around him."

"Iolaus, there isn't anyone on the rock."

Iolaus looked at Hercules in consternation. "He's right there! Come on, I can't believe you don't see him."

Iolaus took off running to the rock, with Hercules reluctantly following him.

"Joxer! Joxer!" Iolaus shouted.

The person on the rock didn't move.

"Iolaus there isn't anyone there." Hercules huffed, catching up to him.

"Joxer?" Iolaus reached out to touch him, while Hercules watched in amazement as Joxer came into view as soon as Iolaus hand made contact with his skin.

"Joxer?" Hercules asked hesitantly, as the man continued to stare off into space. "Iolaus, I didn't see him until you touched him."

Iolaus looked sharply at Hercules.

"The glows gone. Herc, who did this to him? Where are his clothes? Why isn't he answering?"

"I don't know, Iolaus. I think we need to get him back to Corinth, and get Xena, as quickly as possible."

"Alright. I'll go after Xena and Gabrielle, while you take Joxer back to Corinth." Iolaus stated quickly, before running off to catch up with Xena.

"Iol… Never mind." Hercules muttered. "Joxer? Can you hear me?" He asked softly, looking into Joxer's blank face. "Joxer?"

Hercules heaved a sigh. Briefly, he looked around, trying to find Joxer's clothes. "Well, at least we're not that far out of town. Come on, Joxer." Hercules tried pulling Joxer to his feet.

"Well, if you can't walk, I'll just have to carry you." He muttered, taking off his shirt, and rigging a temporary loincloth for Joxer, before swinging him over his shoulder, and setting off for Corinth.


"Geez, Herc, what took you so long?" Iolaus scolded from his seat in the great hall.

"Well, Iolaus, carrying Joxer back slowed me down some." Came Hercules sardonic reply, as he gently set Joxer down in a chair.

"What's wrong with him?" Iphicles asked quietly, as Xena and Gabrielle checked him over.

"I'm not sure." Xena replied. "Well, Ares was telling the truth." She muttered to herself, gently outlining the brand on Joxer's upper ass cheek.

As she finished tracing the outline with her finger, Ares flashed into the room.

"What have you done to him?" He roared, striding over to Joxer's side.

"He was found this way, Ares." Xena jumped out of his way.

Gently Ares bent down, and cupped Joxer's cheek, seeking answers.

"APHRODITE!" He roared.

Aphrodite flashed into view, furious at the summons. She'd been *deeply* involved in some of Heph's prayers when Ares roared.

"I've told you before, Arry. Stop screaming my name like that!" She shouted, hurling a blazing ball of pink energy at Ares.

Ares grabbed Joxer's unresisting form, and pushed him to the floor, covering his body from the fireball.

With an enraged roar, he leapt to his feet, and threw a giant red fireball at his sister. "You told me you didn't know where he was!" He screamed.

By this time, everyone had sought cover. Iphicles, Iolaus, and Gabrielle drug Joxer out of the line of fire, trying to shield him from falling debris and fireballs. Iphicles and Gabrielle curled their bodies around Joxer, finding it easier to roll him out of the
way.

"Just great, the one person who can break Hera's curse, and two other gods have prior claim." Iphicles muttered.

"Alright, Herc, you restrain Ares, and I'll take Aphrodite." Xena ordered, leaping into the air in her famous somersault.

Hercules opened his mouth to agree, but was too late. "You know, pretty soon, I'm going to have the final say." He muttered to himself, jumping into the fight.

Several minutes later, both gods were restrained.

"Calm down!" Xena ordered. "We still need to figure out what happened to Joxer!"

"You found Joxie?" Aphrodite asked, suspending her struggle.

"As if you haven't been watching." Ares sneered.

Aphrodite growled, and started struggling again.

"Both of you stop it!" Hercules shouted. "We need to find out what happened to him, and fix him!"

"Aphrodite, did you do anything to Joxer?" Hercules asked once the two gods stopped their struggling once again.

"NO! I haven't heard from him in days."

"Ares, what made you think Aphrodite did this to Joxer." Hercules gestured over to where Iolaus and Gabrielle were holding onto Joxer.

"He's got a love spell on him."

"What?!" Aphrodite shrieked, furious all over again at the accusation.

"Feel him." Ares ordered.

Aphrodite walked over to where Joxer was laying in Iphicles lap, and touched his cheek. Startled, she drew her hand back in shock. "Oh, zits." She whispered.

"See, I told you she did it."

Aphrodite whirled around. "I'm not the only love god who uses spells, Ares! I do believe our son has had his revenge on you."

"CUPID!" Ares roared. "CUPID!"

Cupid was still nowhere to be seen.

"STRIFE! DISCORD!"

Strife and Discord appeared. "We still haven't found him unc."

Ares growled. "Forget Joxer. He's here. Bring me Cupid." He ordered, tossing them a set of Hephaistos' chains.

Strife sent his uncle a glee-filled look.

"No playing! I want him here immediately!" Ares ordered.

"Now, Arry, I warned you to stop this stupid quarrel." Aphrodite began.

Ares shot her a look filled with venom. "Wake him up!"

"I can't. And bringing Cupid here won't help, either. The spell has to run its course."

"Fine! How do I break it?" Ares snapped.

"You can't. Only his soul mates kiss will wake him."

Ares started pacing back and forth. "Alright, everyone line up. If I have to, everyone in Greece will take a turn." He ordered.

Everyone turned to stare at him in disbelief.

"No one's leaving until you kiss Joxer. You first, blondie." Ares ordered, pointing to Gabrielle.


Gabrielle turned to appeal for help from Xena. Xena simply smirked and cocked her brow at the pleading look sent her way. Seeing no one else was going to help, she bent down and briefly kissed Joxer on the lips.

Aphrodite rolled her eyes at the wimpy kiss.

Nothing happened. Everyone waited, expecting movement at any moment.

"Wow, I, uh, guess you aren't his soul mate." Iolaus stammered out.

"Alright. Iolaus, you're next." Ares ordered.

"But…but…"

"Oh, come on, Iolaus, it's just a kiss." Iphicles taunted.

"Oh yeah, well, what if he wakes up! I was the only one who saw him surrounded by that golden glow! I'm not ready for commitment, yet! Do you know how many taverns I haven't been to yet?!"

"If Cupid cast the spell, then that's the reason you saw him, Iolaus. Why do you think you have such good luck with the barmaids? Your grandma was one of `Dite's kids. Why do you think Heph chose her, out of all the women in Greece, when he thought he couldn't have `Dite?" Ares snarled. "Now, kiss him!"

Iolaus still hesitated, thrown for a loop that `Dite was his great-grandmother.

Iphicles rolled his eyes, and bent down, placing a chaste kiss on Joxer's lips. Looking back at Iolaus, he smirked in challenge.

Fuming, Iolaus bent down and quickly kissed Joxer.

Suddenly, Joxer's hand moved.

Iolaus let out a startled shout and backed away quickly.

Gabrielle and Iphicles started howling in laughter.

"That wasn't funny!" Iolaus yelled at the two pranksters.

"Enough!" Ares roared. "Xena, Hercules, you're next."

Hercules and Xena exchanged exasperated glances.

"Ares, you can't parade everyone in Greece through here trying to wake Joxer."

Ares turned to Xena. "*I* can't?"

Hercules looked at Aphrodite, quietly urging her to intervene.

Aphrodite slyly winked at Hercules, smirking behind Ares back.

"Aphrodite, can't you tell us who his soul mate is?" Xena asked, turning towards the Goddess of Love.

"Nope, sorry, Cupid got the soul mate gig a few years ago. We trade off so we don't get bored."

"Come on, Xena." Gabrielle smirked.

Xena walked up after Hercules, and kissed Joxer.

"Alright, round up the townspeople." Ares ordered Iphicles.

"Wait a minute. What about you two?" Hercules interrupted.

"Don't be ridiculous. Do you know how unlikely it would be that a mortal is a god's soul mate? Besides, we already know mine's a female." Ares scoffed.

Aphrodite smirked at Ares and placed a kiss on Joxer's lips. "Then you don't have anything to worry about, Arry."

Ares growled at her, and marched over to Joxer. Reaching down, he pulled Joxer out of Iphicles and Gabrielle's grasp. Hesitantly, he bent his head down and placed a gentle kiss on Joxer's lips. Suddenly, Joxer's eyes flashed open.

Ares jumped back, leaving Iphicles and Gabrielle to catch Joxer before he hit the ground.


"Ahhh!" Joxer yelped, as Iphicles caught him before he could hit the ground.

Everyone turned to stare at Ares in astonishment.

"Well, Arry. Should I tell mommy dearest to freshen up on the vows." Aphrodite smirked.

Before Ares could say respond, a brilliant flash of light heralded the arrival of Strife and Discord, and the chained Cupid. All three gods were covered in black blast marks and scratches.

"Who are you people?" Joxer snarled, quickly rolling to his feet, and backing away from everyone.

"Joxer? Don't you recognize us?" Xena asked quietly.

"What'd you do to him?" Ares glared at his son, fingers twitching.

"I saved him!"

"Saved him? You left him naked out in the forest! Unconscious! And now, he doesn't even know me! ME!" Ares roared.

Joxer was quietly backing towards the door, intent on escape.

"Oh yeah, well if I hadn't stepped in, he'd have died wondering around out in the woods!" Cupid yelled back.

"Quiet!!" Hercules and Xena yelled out at the same time.

Joxer chose that moment to run for it.

"Catch him!" Iolaus shouted.

Gabrielle swept out with her staff, trying to trip him.

Joxer jumped up to avoid the staff, coming down on it and throwing Gabrielle off balance. Moving swiftly, he jerked the staff from her hands, and brought it up defensively, slowly backing out of the room.

"Uh Arry, I think his mom died." Aphrodite cautiously backed further away from Joxer's retreating form.

Ares growled at her for stating the obvious. "Stay back." He directed the would-be heroes. "Joxer."

Joxer froze at the sound of his voice.

"Joxer, don't you remember me? I'm Ares, your god." Ares spoke quietly, as he inched closer to Joxer's position.

"My god? Yeah, right. And I suppose your buddies are gods, too?"

"That's right."

"And, them?" He gestured to the other occupants of the room. "No, let me guess. If you're gods, then they must be heroes, or better yet, kings and nobles. Am I right? Anybody ever tell you they lock delusional people up?"

Ares let a perturbed expression briefly touch his face, before quickly blanking his features once more. However, the momentary lapse was enough for Joxer to snap out of his questioning state.

Swiftly he lashed out with his stolen staff, and hit Ares in the legs, dumping him on his ass, before turning and running for the door once more.

Ares lashed out with his powers, hobbling Joxer's feet with a chain, halting his escape.

"Okay, so maybe you are a god." Joxer muttered from his place on the floor.

"Reverse what you did!" Ares snarled at Cupid, picking himself up off the floor.

"You already did it! The only thing I did to him was put the sleeping soul mate spell on him!"

"Then why's he still not Joxer!"

"Because Zeus took his memories!"

"What?" Hercules interrupted.

"Look, all I know is that when I found him, Joxer was like this. The only thing I could feel wrong was the hint of Zeus' power."

Ares started pacing, again.

"If Zeus took Joxer's memories, why would Hera want him?" Iphicles pondered out loud.

"What?"

Iphicles cursed himself inwardly for drawing attention. As far as he was concerned, the sooner the gods and his brother were gone, the happier he'd be.

"Your mother put this scroll out." Iphicles answered, handing Ares the scroll.

Ares read the scroll, and tossed it to Aphrodite.

"So, Zeus took his memories, and Hera wants him." Hercules mused aloud.

"He saw something, or did something, and Zeus doesn't want him talking about it. That's the only explanation." Xena stated.

Ares and Aphrodite both turned to Cupid.

"What were you doing in the area?" Aphrodite asked suspiciously.

Cupid looked down, and wouldn't answer.

"How'd you like to be mortal, and Caesar's play toy for a month. Or, I can petition to have Psyche returned to Olympus. Zeus always did have a soft spot for a pretty face. I'm sure he'd consider my request." Ares said quietly.

Cupid's head jerked up, hurt flashing across his face.

"Tell me what's going on, Cupid. You know I don't want to hurt you. Tell me, and I'll release you."

Cupid looked at the floor once more. "There was a large release of sexual energy in the area, and I was curious. I thought maybe Apollo was cavorting again, and I went to catch him with his leathers down."

Aphrodite inhaled sharply, and turned away. "Oh, zits."

"Who was he with?" Ares groaned, releasing the chains.

"I don't know. I just saw him touch Joxer's head, and leave."

"He must'a took Joxer's memories." Strife contributed.

"There's only one way outta this pop." Cupid announced.

"No. Forget it. That'll only fulfill that stupid prophecy the Fates delivered when I took up my sword. Besides, Joxer's a male."

"What are they talking about, Ares?" Xena questioned suspiciously.

"There's a prophecy that says when Ares meets the other half of his soul, he'll marry, making that person The Goddess of War." Aphrodite answered, distractedly.

"But, Athena's the Goddess of War."

"Well, Curly, when Ares finds his consort, she won't be any longer. She'll only have the wisdom gig."

Gabrielle looked up from her scroll at that. "But, why would she agree to that. She'd be giving up some of her power. Besides, won't the new Goddess of War have to be smart like she is?"

Joxer threw her a dirty look, inwardly vowing to get revenge for that remark. Scolding himself for being distracted, he once again went back to monitoring the conversation, just waiting for his chance to escape.

"Being a good tactician and strategist comes with the godhood. She knew it was only temporary when Zeus granted her the godhood. Besides, the Fates decreed it, she doesn't have any choice." Ares muttered, pacing.

"Alright, this may sound dumb, but since it's my future you're deciding, why don't you present me to this Hera, and let her see that my memories are gone. The I'll just be on my way." Joxer suggested.

"You know Cupid spoke the truth, Ares." Eris stated quietly. "If mother thinks he witnessed one of Zeus' seductions, she won't let him live. She'll kill him just like she's killed his mistresses."

"I know that!" Ares snapped.

"Then you know you either feed him the ambrosia and marry him, or let her kill him."

"He's not going to die! He's one of my chosen!" Ares snapped.

"That won't matter here." Aphrodite replied.

"He's not going to die!" Ares repeated.

"Then do it!" Eris snapped back.

"Wait! You're going to make Joxer a god?!" Gabrielle asked incredulously, looking up from her furiously scribbled notes.

"A female god?" Iolaus crossed his legs in sympathy, sharing a wince with Hercules and Iphicles.

"It's that, or death." Cupid answered.

"How do we even know this is what Joxer wants?" Iolaus asked hesitantly. "He's not exactly in a position to choose for himself right now."

Aphrodite smirked. "Curly, Joxie's prayed to me for years. The only two people he's ever mentioned are Gabrielle and Ares. He only started mentioning Gabrielle when he gave up on Ares, and decided to move on. Besides, Joxie already shares a bond with Ares, Xena saw that for herself."

"What? You could have told me!" Ares shouted.

Aphrodite rolled her eyes. "Yeah right. You'd have used him and thrown him away. You never could tolerate a fool, Arry. NO, it had to be after his hag of a mother died, and my curse was broken."

"I'm pretty sure Joxer, doesn't want to be a female. He's got a rather impressive reputation at Meg's." Iolaus objected.

"Relax Curly. The Fates are always rather vague in their prophecies. I'm positive Joxie's the one."

Iolaus shifted uneasily, still not convinced.

"So, how are you going to lift Hera's curse?" Iphicles decided to risk the question.

"Easy Cutie. We tell Hera that Ares found his soul mate. She's been anxiously waiting to take some of Athena's power away. Then, once she's agreed, we tell her who it is. Of course, we'll give Joxie the ambrosia before we call her. That way we have all the contingencies covered."

Everyone stared at Aphrodite in amazement.

She shrugged at their looks. "What? Don't you know, all's fair in love and war. And, this is both!" She giggled.

Strife, Eris, and Cupid fell to the floor with laughter, while everyone else stared in stunned amazement.


Joxer saw that everyone was finally distracted, and quietly pushed the chains around his ankles to the floor. Somehow, he instinctively knew how to pick the lock. He briefly wondered if he spent a lot of time chained up. Dismissing the thought, he focused on escaping. Moving slowly, he cautiously started backing his way out of the room.

Ares whirled around and chained Joxer's wrists and ankles.

"Let me go!" Joxer yelled, as he crashed to the floor.

"Not likely. You're mine, and have been since you were a child. Once you get your memory back, you'll understand."

"I don't want my memory back! I'm fine just the way I am!" Joxer squirmed.

Ares closed his eyes briefly in frustration. Steeling himself, he materialized a goblet of chilled ambrosia and strode over to Joxer.

"NOOOO! I don't remember, but I'm sure I love my penis! You're not taking it!" Joxer thrashed, trying to dodge Ares.

Ares growled, and straddled Joxer's hips, using his free hand to capture and pin his chained wrists.

"Joxie, honey, I'm sure the Fates made a mistake! You're not gonna lose your penis!" Aphrodite shouted over his pleas.

"Uh, guys, we're not gonna let Ares do this, are we?" Iolaus whispered.

Iphicles looked at him in disbelief. "Iolaus, look across the room. How many gods do you see?"

"I don't know, Iolaus. Xena, you know him better, what would he want?" Hercules asked, taking a hesitant step towards Ares.

"He'll be alright." Xena announced to the others. "Ares won't hurt him."

Hercules stared at her in disbelief. "Ares won't hurt him? He's the God of War!"

"Xena, come on, Ares isn't know for his kinder gentler side." Gabrielle tossed in, briefly looking up from her writing.

"No. No, he isn't. However, he does have the capacity to be gentle and love. You only have to look at his children to see that. Well, obviously not Cupid, right now, but he does. Ares has been acting strange ever since Joxer disappeared. Cupid and Aphrodite obviously aren't worried about what's happening. They're encouraging it. Frankly, I think they're right. Joxer can't stand up to the gods on his own, and we can't be there to constantly guard him. If Hera wants him dead, he'll be dead. This is his only chance."

Ares wasn't having much success getting Joxer to drink the ambrosia. Joxer's face and hair were coated in it, but he refused to open his mouth. Finally, he bent down and nuzzled Joxer's ear, while rubbing his now hard cock against Joxer's groin.

Joxer stopped struggling and opened his eyes wide.

Ares lifted up and looked him in the eyes. "You did this to me." He whispered, thrusting against Joxer once more.

Joxer was still with shock.

Ares bent back down and proceeded to place little kisses and licks on Joxer's face and lips.

Joxer's body started to loose some of it's tension, as he began to enjoy the subtle seduction Ares was providing.

Ares gently placed a kiss on Joxer's lips, increasing the pressure, and flicking his tongue across the parted lips, asking for entry.

Joxer hesitantly parted his lips and returned the kiss, closing his eyes to savor the taste. Suddenly, his eyes went wide as his mortal taste buds caught the exquisite taste of the ambrosia. Moving frantically, he thrust up his hips, begging for more.

Ares broke the kiss, and licked Joxer's coated cheek. Moving back down, he placed another urgent kiss on his mouth.

By now, little whimpers were escaping Joxer's throat.

Ares refilled the goblet, and lifted his head.

"You want more?"

"Yes!" Joxer begged, hoarsely.

"Drink this for me." Ares replied, bringing the cup to Joxer's lips once more.

Joxer couldn't control his actions. His mind was shrieking something, but all his body wanted was more of the ambrosia flavored War God.

Ares released the pinned wrists and lifted Joxer's head, once again bringing the goblet to his lips.

Joxer quickly drained the goblet, and tried to reach for Ares once more when the sensation hit him. Falling back, he stared at the ceiling, feeling a strange warmth seep through his entire body.

"It's alright, Joxer. It's alright." Ares soothed him.

Joxer whimpered in his throat, and Ares released the chains, clamping a power inhibitor on his wrist, and cradling him in his arms.

Xena nodded as her suspicions were confirmed.

Hercules and Iolaus could only stare in disbelief.

"All righty then, who's up for a wedding?" Aphrodite announced gleefully.


"Hera! Hera!" Aphrodite shouted. "You better call her, Arry. You know she doesn't like me much."

"Mother, we've found my soul mate." Ares said softly.

A brilliant flash of light filled the room, as Hera appeared. Tears of happiness were streaming down her face. "You've found her?"

"Kind of." Cupid snorted.

"Explain!" Hera snapped out, her tears disappearing.

"Well, *she* is a *he*." Strife added.

Hera was quiet for several moments. Suddenly, she realized where she was. "Corinth?" She whispered. "Not one of *hers*?!"

"No." Ares answered, watching the tension drain from his mother's body.

"Who is it?"

"He's a follower of mine." Ares replied.

"You've confirmed that he's the one." Hera asked Aphrodite and Cupid.

"Yep. Pops woke him from the sleeping soul mate spell I had on him." Cupid replied.

"We need to get them wed as soon as possible. I guess I'll have to perform a quickie. We can have a more elaborate affair later. If Athena knows he's been found, she'll try finding a way to keep her powers. So, where is he?"

Aphrodite smiled in satisfaction.

"You can bring him out."

Strife, Iolaus, Hercules, Iphicles, Xena, and Gabrielle escorted a subdued Joxer back into the room.

"So, there you are." Hera murmured. Ignoring the mortals, she placed her hand on Joxer's cheek, performing her own check.

Joxer trembled, but stood his ground.

"Very well. Ares, God of War, do you swear on the river Styx your pledge to take this man, Joxer, son of Jonas, as your consort for the rest of eternity?"

"Yes." Ares said quietly, looking into Joxer's eyes.

"Joxer, son of Jonas, descendant of the line of Strife, do you swear on the river Styx your pledge to take Ares, God of War, as your consort for the rest of eternity?"

Joxer looked around nervously, sensing the shock in the majority of the room's occupants. Seeing no help forthcoming, he replied. "Yes."

"Very well, I, Hera, Queen of the Gods, bless your union, and pronounce you married for the rest of eternity."

Ares leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Joxer's lips.

"How can Joxer be one of Strife's descendants?" Gabrielle asked in shock.

Strife smirked and winked at her. "Some say I'm irresistible."

"Zeus! Ares has found his soul mate, and I have married them."

Zeus appeared with a crack of thunder.

Iphicles groaned, and secretly wondered if his kingdom would survive this gathering.

"So, where is he?" Zeus asked looking around. "This one?" He asked in surprise.

"Yes." Hera replied, giving him a level look, a red flush creeping up her face.

"Opps! Oh well, Athena!"

Athena appeared in a flash of light, quickly scanning the room, realizing the situation at a glance.

"Give me your hands, Athena, Joxer." Zeus commanded.

Athena and Joxer held out their hands, and Zeus placed them together, wrapping his hands around both of theirs.

Suddenly, a large flash of light blinded everyone. When they looked back, two women were standing in front of Zeus.

"Oh, boy." Zeus muttered, stepping back.

Joxer looked down. "What?" She stuttered in shock.

"Huh, guess I was wrong." Aphrodite whispered to Cupid.

"You're a female." Strife snickered.

Joxer could feel the anger building up. "I don't want to be a female! If anyone around here should be the Goddess of War, it should be you!" Joxer shouted at Ares. "I told you I didn't want to loose my penis, but NOOO, you had to have it your way! I WANT MY PENIS BACK! If you had listened to me, everything would have been okay! Besides,
from what the short blonde one said, I have a reputation to maintain!" She yelled at Ares, gesturing towards Iolaus.

"*You* have a reputation to maintain! I'm the one with the reputation!" Ares roared back.

"Funny, I've never heard of you!"

"*You've* lost your memory! Of course, you've never heard of me!"

"Yeah, well if you were that good, I'd have remembered, regardless!"

"Quiet!" Zeus yelled, interrupting their fight.

Ares and Joxer both assumed militant post, sullen looks on both of their faces.

"Hera, would you be so kind as to confer with me?" Zeus asked.

Hera agreed, and both of them flashed away, only to appear several minutes later.

"We have reached a compromise." Hera began.

"Joxer, Goddess of War." An angry scowl formed on Joxer's face. "As our wedding gift to you, you shall have control over your form. When you are performing the duties of your Godhood in front of your followers, you shall be female. Any other time, and it shall be your choice which form you take." Zeus decreed, as he and Hera joined hands and touched Joxer's face, bestowing their gift.

Ares reached out and removed the power inhibitor from her wrist.

Joxer's form shifted and changed back into a man. "I still think you should be the female." He muttered to Ares.

Ares rolled his eyes, and turned to his father. "Would you restore his memories now?"

Zeus sent a guilty glance at Hera, not liking the way her face was turning red again.

"Go on." She said quietly.

Zeus touched Joxer's head once more, removing the block in his mind.

Joxer's eyes rolled back in his head as he lost consciousness. Ares caught him before he could hit the floor.

"Is he alright?" Xena asked from the back of the room.

"Yes, I think he's just a little overwhelmed." Ares replied.

Hera looked over the mortals assembled at the rear of the hall. "King Iphicles, the curse on your kingdom has been lifted."

A relieved expression crossed Iphicles face. "Thank you, Goddess."

Hercules scowled at his brother.

Joxer's eyelashes fluttered open.

"I know you." He breathed.

"Yes."

Joxer reached out and caressed Ares face, as the others looked on.

Joxer leaned forward, breathing deeply of Ares scent.

"Ares." He whispered, grabbing Ares in a fierce hug.

"Well, if that's all I was needed for, I'll be going." Zeus muttered, intent upon escape.

Joxer turned at his words. Staring at Zeus, he realized who he was. "You! You did this to me! Why?" Looking behind Zeus, he saw Hera. "You were there, too!" He accused.

Both gods shifted nervously, as everyone in the room was now staring at them.

"What's going on?" Ares asked quietly.

"Uh, well son…"

"They were cavorting around naked in the forest!" Joxer shouted.

"You took his memories because he saw you naked?" Aphrodite giggled.

"Yeah, well, it's our favorite place, and we didn't want mortals coming there to catch a sneak peek. I was going to give him back his memory, that's why Hera was looking for him. I would have just erased his knowledge of where the glen was, but I was kinda in a hurry." Zeus explained, chagrined at his children's laughter.

"Wait, you two did all this because Joxer saw you prancing around naked?" Hercules asked incredulously.

"Well, yes. Cupid's been counseling us on our sex life, and suggested we try different things. There's just something about that little glen… Ah, well, when you find something that works, you stick with it." Zeus replied.

"So, dad, are we alright on the Psyche thing?" Cupid asked, interrupting the laughter.

Ares looked over at his son. "Yeah, Cupid. We're fine. No more fighting over that."

"Cool, love it when a plan comes together. Congrats, Joxie. See ya, pops." Cupid, Hera, and Zeus flashed out.

Athena smirked. "Ares, you've been had. And, by your son, no less. When he proposed this plan, I thought it'd never work, ah well, I guess even *I* can be wrong once." She flashed out.

Ares sat down with a stunned expression on his face, still holding Joxer in his arms.

"I guess you taught him too well, Arry. I would definitely say that Cupid got the best of you for this whole Psyche mess. Never mess with love, we'll get you in the end." Aphrodite snickered and flashed out.

"Well, unc, happy honeymoon!" Strife chimed in, flashing out before Ares could recover.

"But, it wasn't my fault!" Ares yelled once again.

"Are you sorry this happened?" Joxer asked quietly, eyes downcast.

Ares looked down at Joxer, while the remaining occupants of the room held their breath. "No." Kissing him gently on the lips.

Eris smiled, and quietly left.

"I didn't want to interfere with your life. I knew if I became involved with you, you would become a target. Anyone with a grudge against me would be after you. You were bonded to me, and I convinced myself it was enough. Besides, I knew the Fates said my soul mate was a woman."

"Let's go start that honeymoon." Joxer replied. "And quit mentioning that whole woman thing, I need time to adjust to that."

Joxer and Ares disappeared in a flash of light.


"Well, that went well. Come on, Gabrielle, time to go." Xena
announced.

Hercules looked at her in astonishment. "That's it?"

"Well, yeah. Everything's fine now."

"Fine? Joxer's the new Goddess of War!" Iolaus exclaimed.

"And?" Xena started tapping her foot.

Hercules and Iolaus exchanged a stunned glance.

"*He's* the new Goddess of War." Iolaus repeated himself.

"Look, Joxer might come across as a fool, but he's not. So, he might
have some twisted ideas, but from what I've seen, that's the way all
the gods are. And, according to what Ares and Aphrodite said, he's
been under a spell. They'll help him with the adjustment into
godhood, and if he needs us, he'll find us. Joxer's a good person,
with a big heart. I have faith in him."

"Xena's right. If Joxer needs us, he'll find us. We just have to have
faith." Gabrielle added, already plotting to use this story for the
next bard competition. *I'll destroy the competition!* She mused
gleefully. *Thank you, Joxer.*

"Thanks for having us, Iphicles!" Xena called out, as she and
Gabrielle waived from the doorway before departing.

"Do you know how many times I thought Corinth was doomed this day?"
Iphicles said quietly, resuming his throne. "Hercules, I know we're
not the closest family, but we have nothing on them."

"Is no one else having a problem with this?" Hercules demanded,
indignantly.

"Relax, Herc. We're just going to have to trust that Xena's right.
Surely the gods know what they're doing." Iolaus clapped him on his
shoulder.

"Gods!" Hercules snorted, tossing up his hands in exasperation.

************

Ares traced his tongue along the edge of Joxer's pale buttock. When
Joxer squirmed, he lightly nipped the cheek with his teeth.

Joxer flinched forward in surprise. "Ares." His whole body was
sensitized, having been tasted and touched by his new husband.

Ares rolled Joxer on his back, aligning his body so that they were
flush against each other. "I love it when you say my name." He
growled, thrusting his oiled cock against Joxer's.

Joxer spread and bent his legs, thrusting up his hips. His hands
clamped around Ares' head as he drew his husband down for a deep kiss.

"I want you in me." Joxer groaned.

"Are you sure?" Ares asked. "You can …"

"Now!"

Ares created a small bowl of oil, and coated both of his hands.
Gripping Joxer's erection in one hand, he slowly stroked, while
brushing his fingers against Joxer's anus with the other hand. Ares
pressed inward, and Joxer grabbed his knees, pulling them back to his
chest.

Ares turned his finger slowly, making tiny thrusting motions,
gradually going deeper with each tiny thrust. Ares worked his finger
until he could easily turn it, before withdrawing to add more oil.

Pressing inward once more, Ares cock leapt upon feeling the tightness
around two fingers this time.

Joxer was panting, impatiently waiting on Ares.

Feeling his lover's desperation, Ares increased his pace, adding a
third finger.

"Ares." Joxer whimpered.

Ares withdrew his fingers. He nudged the pucker with the tip of his
erection, carefully pushing in past the first ring of muscle. Pausing
briefly, he looked up at Joxer's face for reassurance.

Joxer's face was twisted up in anguished ecstasy.

Ares gently thrust, only to withdraw and thrust again, several more
times. Each thrust gained millimeters in the tight opening.

Joxer was going out of his mind at the slow pace. "Ares." He groaned
again. "Harder."

"You're too tight."

"Harder!" Joxer demanded.

Ares kissed him, and thrust harder.

"Ahhh! More!" Joxer screamed, feeling a bolt of pure pleasure shoot
straight to his brain when Ares rubbed against his prostate.

Ares grinned savagely and gradually increased his pace. Soon he was
thrusting wildly into Joxer's tight passage.

Joxer's eyes flashed open.

Ares reached down his hand, and stroked the weeping cock several
times.

"AAARREEEESSS!!" Joxer groaned as he climaxed, his seed shooting all
over their bellies.

Ares thrust one final time, letting the contractions of Joxer's body
squeeze his cock dry.

"I love you, Ares."

*Thank you, Cupid.* Ares thought.

"I love you too, Joxer." Ares whispered quietly in his ear, letting
the words lull Joxer to sleep.

THE END

**This fic has fought me the entire way. *sigh* Oh well, I hope you
liked it. Let me know.

Brandy

[ Update  | Fiction  | Challenge  | Round Robin  | Joint Effort Fiction  | Links  | Gallery  ]

Broken links or other errors can be sent to Carrie. Suggestions are also welcome.