Title: Festivals, Courtships and Spartans
Author: Calcus
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Pairing/s: Joxer/Ares
Warning: Mention of mpreg
"Iolous?" The boy kicked the air lightly, trying to warm up his feet. "My feet
are
cold."
"What?" Iolous was crouched in front of the fire, stirring the stew that was for
dinner. He jumped up and took several steps forward, reaching down and
hefting the child up into the chair and flinging him over his shoulder.
"Argh!" The boy screamed in mock fear, giggling uncontrollably, "Put me down
Uncle Iolous! I'm too old for this game!"
Iolous faked disappointment, trying to hide a smile. "Oh, I don't think
anyone's
too old for flying, Resius. Maybe too *big* but never too old."
The boy perked up visibly at the possibility that he really wasn't too old for
such
games. "Do you really think so? Because Bliss said I was too old."
"What would Bliss know? He's *always* flying remember? If you're too old for
it,
then he's *much* too old for it." Iolous pointed out, placing Resius gently
down
onto the chair next to the fire and rubbing the boys feet briskly.
"I'll get you a pair of socks, stay *away* from the fire." He said sternly.
"I know that! I'm seven! I'm old enough to know to stay away from the fire!"
He
pouted, folding his arms in front of him and tried to impersonate his father's
deadly glare.
"I'm sorry, I forgot," Iolous said solemnly, disappearing inside the guestroom
and
reappearing a moment later with a pair of woollen socks. "Here we go! Now lets
just pop them on and I'll tell you a story before dinner."
"One of your adventures?! With Uncle Hercules?!" The boy squirmed excitably,
his foot slipping out of his babysitters grip. "Does it have Papa in it? Or
Daddy?"
"How about it has *both* of them in it?" Iolous grabbed the boys foot and
finished
slipping the sock onto the foot.
"Is it an adventure? Like in fairy tales that Papa reads me?" He scrambled up
into Iolous' lap and snuggled into his chest.
For a moment, Iolous had an image of Ares as a Princess in a locked tower and
Joxer coming to rescue him. He swallowed a snicker and nodded. "Like a fairy
tale. Sort of."
"Well, you see, a few years back - " Iolous began.
"No! It has to start with, 'Once upon a time...'" Resius protested, frowning up
into
the man's face.
"Of course, how could I be so foolish?" Iolous cleared his throat and said:
"Once upon a time, in a place called Olympia..."
We'd been walking for a while and when we finally reached the city-state of
Olympia we were all very, very tired because of the long walk. When we got to
the inn where we were staying, there was a long line of people wanting
accommodation who hadn't booked in advance. These are what we call
"dunderheads".
Most people would be staying in tents but we got rooms because your Uncle
Hercules is the son of Zeus.
Got our key, went to our room, yadda yadda yadda.
"Do you know what we were at Olympia for?" Iolous asked.
The boy gave Iolous an excited look. "The Olympics!"
"Yep and do you know what the Olympics are for?"
"They're for Granddad. I had to learn about them." He scrunched his nose up.
"I
don't like my lessons."
Iolous laughed. "You're definitely your Dad's son. Can you guess what was the
first event?"
"Wrestling?"
"Nope."
The boy pouted. "Oh. Chariots?"
"How did you know that?"
Resius smiled brightly. "Wrestling is my favourite. Chariots are Papa's."
The streets were packed with more people than I had ever seen. Street
entertainers, some who were doing some pretty amazing things. The entrance to
the stadium was worse though and they didn't even have a VIP entrance.
"Herc," I complained, "Why didn't you sign up? There's an entrance especially
for athletes we could've avoided the crowd."
"But then he would've had to wrestle naked in front of all those people. And
they
let unmarried women in you know." Joxer laughed and tripped over a man's leg.
"Sorry!" He called as Hercules and I firmly grasped an arm each to avoid your
Papa falling flat on his face and getting trampled.
"What was it you said about unmarried women?" I asked, mildly alarmed.
"They let them in!" Joxer said.
"No, about unmarried women watching Hercules!" I said, alarmed.
"Not competing. Not an issue." Hercules said, switching places with Joxer and
throwing an arm over my shoulder.
"Why was Uncle Hercules competing a problem?" Resius asked, trying to reach
his stuffed hydra.
"...I'll tell you when you're older."
Resius paused for a moment. "I'm older now!"
"Older, older. As in, *years* older." Iolous grabbed the stuffed hydra and
handed
it to Resius. "Now, where was I...?"
Right. Well, the first thing we had to do when we got to the stadium was go say
hi to your Grandpa. He was sitting in what was by far the best seat in the
house,
with your Dad and Uncle Hephaistos.
We climbed the steps to go see him and your Papa didn't trip once! Well, all
right, he tripped *once*. His foot caught on the top step and he went
flying...straight into your Dad and they both tumbled nosily to the ground.
When they got back up, I wasn't sure who looked more embarrassed, your Dad
or your Papa. Zeus was roaring with laughter but he was the only one who dared
to laugh.
"Grandpa does lots of things no one else does." Resius said wisely.
Iolous smiled, "You noticed that too huh?"
Ares didn't hold a grudge and ended up having a great time with your Papa,
laughing and drinking together. They just clicked, like it was meant to be. It
wasn't the first time they'd met, but it was the first they'd actually *talked*
Joxer told his slightly exaggerated tales and Ares listened, Ares told his
hundred
year old tales and Joxer listened. It was a convenient, if amusing, arrangement.
After all, it was the God of War and one of the most hopeless warriors I had
ever
met. Big heart, your Papa, not so graceful though.
"I got Papa's skills with a sword. I always fall over," Resius said sadly.
"Bit too soon to tell don't you think?" Iolous asked fondly, giving Resius a
cuddle.
"Not according to Auntie Eris."
Iolous laughed. "Well, guess what? You're Auntie Eris doesn't know
everything."
By the end of the day, I wasn't sure who had caught who, if Ares had caught
Joxer or if Joxer had caught Ares. Maybe it was neither. Maybe they just
caught
each other.
We spent the evening in Zeus' temple, where the three Gods were being waited
on hand and foot. The dinner was lovely, absolutely delicious, and Joxer was
practically walking on air when we went home.
He spouted bad poetry about Ares and by the end of it, Hercules and I were both
restraining ourselves from telling him to either stop talking about Ares or stop
talking all together.
The next day, though things weren't so bright. A messenger had been sent by
Zeus for us to come to the city walls immediately, which is never a good sign.
We hurried and it was as bad as we'd dreaded.
"What happened?! What happened?!" Resius bounced up and down excitedly,
nearly falling off the chair.
"If you wait, you'll find out." Iolous pulled the boy further into the seat and
settled
back into it. "Okay, where was I? ..Wall, dread, right..."
Sparta's army waited outside the city walls and they didn't look friendly.
"What's going on?" Hercules asked.
"The Spartan's seem to think now's a good time to invade Olympia. Their
athletes disappeared in the middle of the night." Ares said.
"Can't you stop them?" Joxer asked worriedly.
Ares shook his head. "I can try but there are no guarantees. Gongma isn't a
follower of the Gods and my power can't stop an entire army by itself."
"There's a truce," I pointed out. "If he loses, Sparta faces huge fines and
expulsion from the Games."
Ares shrugged. "He's arrogant enough that he wouldn't have even taken losing
into account."
Hercules gave a slightly strained smile and clasped Ares firmly on the shoulder.
"With the God of War on our side, I don't see how they can win."
"They won't be winning," Zeus said sternly, glaring out at the Spartan camp as
the sky rumbled ominously above.
I have to admit; sometimes people are very foolish, attacking a city when it's
hosting a festival dedicated to the King of the Gods. How could they expect not
to get their arses thoroughly kicked?
"Did you win?" Resius asked.
"Yes, we won; unfortunately it wasn't without a price..."
Both Ares and Hercules had tried to convince your Papa that his skills were more
needed outside the battle field but unfortunately, they couldn't find a skill of
his
that was needed as badly as another sword. So Joxer fought in the battle and it
nearly cost him his life.
"No! Papa! Was he all right?" Resius asked anxiously.
Iolous smiled reassuringly. "He was fine; it was just another close call. I
sometimes think your Great-Uncle Hades has a liking for your Papa."
"No, he doesn't like him." Resius disagreed.
"What?"
"Great-Uncle Hades. He doesn't like Papa. He thinks he's flighty. What does
that mean?"
"It's means he doesn't know what he's going to do next." Iolous explained.
"Oh. Is that bad?"
Iolous shook his head. "Not in my books."
After another of Joxer's close calls, which apparently turn out okay because
Hades thinks he's 'flighty', Hercules and I ended up in Apollo's temple with all
the
wounded. We sat by your Papa's side all night, Hercules looking very amusing
on the tiny stool that the Healers had provided for him.
Your Dad was out ensuring that the Spartans were getting the punishment they
deserved for breaking the truce but only after finding out that Joxer was going
to
be fine from the Healer. He was trying to hide it but Hercules and I could tell
he
was very concerned.
Not long after dawn, Joxer woke up and was in good spirits, as always.
"He's giving the Spartans the punishment they deserve for breaking the truce."
Hercules said without waiting for Joxer to ask. "He was very concerned. If
you'd
gotten any worse he was going to get Apollo to have a look at you."
"Apollo...you mean Apollo, Apollo?" Joxer asked, wide eyed.
"Well, Ares is a God and so is Apollo. Not to mention them being related." I
pointed out.
Joxer flushed. "Well, yeah, but I see Ares so much, it's not so awe inspiring."
"True." Hercules agreed. "I think he really likes you."
Joxer smiled. "You really think so?"
Hercules nodded. "Yes. He's different around you all ready and he's only
really
known you for a few days."
"Who's only known him for a few days?" A gruff voice asked from behind my
back.
Hercules smiled. "You."
The God paused, looking surprised. "Feels like longer."
"We'll leave you alone." Hercules said, rising to his feet and moving for the
door.
I moved a few beds down and sat down on the edge of it. "And how are you?" I
asked the stranger, trying to look concerned.
Hercules crouched down next to me. "Iolous? What are you doing?"
I gave him a withering look. "Saying hello to my old friend...what's your
name?"
"David." The man croaked.
"See, saying hello to my old friend David." I said.
"David."
I nodded. "That's his name yes. Now be quiet."
"So, um...how'd it go with the Spartans?" I heard Joxer ask, I leaned in their
direction straining to hear what was being said.
"Fine. Gongma couldn't believe he'd lost. Or that the Gods were actually
real."
Ares said.
"He thought you were made up?" Joxer asked disbelievingly.
"Yes. It was new."
"And kind of insulting. You should do more of the whole, 'I am a God, fear me'
stuff so that people don't think that you're not real."
"I was thinking that." There was a short silence. "So, ah, you wanna come up
to
my temple some time?"
Joxer practically blinded me with his bright smile and I was several feet away.
I
can't imagine how Ares' eyes stood up to it. "Sure. Which one?"
"No, ah, *up* to my temple. The one *up* there." Ares pointed towards the
ceiling.
"Oh!" Joxer said.
"And then Daddy got big and had me!" Resius said happily.
"That was a bit later but yeah. Are you hungry? Dinner looks like it's almost
ready."
A few hours later, Iolous put Resius to bed, later than he was supposed to of
course. When he did, he said "Enjoy your sleep. Your fathers should be home
before you wake up in the morning... with your new brother or sister."
the end