TITLE: Just a Spoonful of Sugar helps the Medicine go down...
AUTHOR: Scorpio
PAIRING: Ares/Joxer
RATING: NC-17
DISCLAIMER: TIIC, not Scorpio. ::sighs::
NOTES:
I wrote this a few years ago (and it shows - although I tried to edit it a bit, it's still written in a style I've pretty much grown out of) and recently ran across it once more on my 'puter. I realized I never sent it to this list, but I thought you guys might enjoy it. If you've read it before, just feel free to delete it. ::grins::
CATEGORY: Challenge Fic, challenge details listed after story...
SUMMARY: Joxer gets an accidental dose of Bliss' medicine for the Olympian Flu... interesting side-effects ensue. Ares learns to deal with it.
~~~
Sitting invisible on his throne, Ares watched the mortal named Joxer slip into the temple and quickly cross to the altar. He was forced to bite his lip when the silly fool stumbled over his own two feet half way across the room. Still, it was an excellent example of why Ares went to such great lengths to ensure that the slim and totally insane mortal survived all of the battles he routinely dashed into the middle of. Granted, Xena took all the credit for that, but truthfully, Joxer spent as much time away from his errant daughter as with her.
No, Joxer's amazing ability to stay in one piece lay in the unique ability he had to cheer up and amuse Ares. The WarGod was willing to admit, if only to himself, that he tended to brood and take life too seriously sometimes. Joxer always seemed to put things in perspective for him. Joxer was always good for a laugh. And he always was respectful, if not timid around the WarGod. He knew which side his bread was buttered on...
After three tries, and a massive adjusting of his makeshift armor and battered weaponry, Joxer was finally able to kneel at the altar. While his actions, delusions, and extreme clumsiness were down right funny, his prayers were... something else. Just like himself, they were nothing like any other prayers from Ares' other warriors. Joxer's prayers to Ares seemed more like an old friend picking up a conversation that had simply been paused while another round of drinks were poured, instead of the greedy requests for bloodlust and power that he normally received.
"Hi Ares. It's me again. I,... um, well, remember when I told you that I was going to go on that fishing trip with Xena and Gabrielle? Well, we got side tracked by this lady from the little village that was just beyond the bend in the river. And then she told us why she was looking for Xe-... uh,... I mean me. Yes, she had heard that Joxer the Mighty was in the area and she rushed..."
Ares quickly stuffed a knuckle into his mouth to stifle the giggles that threatened to spill out. He did know what Joxer was talking about. He had watched the events as they unfolded and on several separate occasions during that fiasco he'd had his daughter's harsh words ringing in his ears, although he honest to Zeus had nothing to do with it. He tuned back into the babbling storytelling of his favorite mortal once more.
"...flying through the air to smash into a huge tree and all these birds flew out of the branches with loud flapping wings. So, I swung my sword at the other guy and he was this big, mean, smelly giant of a warrior. But I'm Joxer the Mighty and I won't back down from anyone, no matter how bad their breath stinks, so..."
Ares wrapped a hand around his stomach and blinked rapidly to hold back the howls of mirth that wanted to come out of his body so badly. And the real kicker was that this was exactly how Joxer remembered the whole thing. His ability to delude himself was amazing and his imagination was wild. In truth, Joxer had ended up being the one flying through the air, and he hadn't hit a tree, instead, Joxer had landed in the river with a large splash.
Suddenly, just as Joxer the Mighty was getting to the really good parts, Cupid God of Love materialized in a shower of rose petals and silver sparks holding a wriggling, unhappy, winged little baby boy.
"Daaa-ad!" Cupid whined, staring at the seemingly empty throne. "You gotta help!"
With a sigh, Ares materialized in a cascade of red sparks on his throne. Joxer's eyes bugged and a half pleased, half frightened look crossed his open face.
"What? I'm enjoying a story here."
Joxer the Mighty puffed out his chest, stuck out his chin in a heroic pose and beamed.
"It's Bliss. He's sick and he refuses to take his medicine. He's says it's yucky."
At those words both the compassionate and delusional mortal and Ares, Bliss' Grandfather both turned concerned faces to the small and obviously upset little Godling wiggling in his fathers arms.
"'Ucky, G'pa 'Res! Big ucky!"
"Wha... what's wrong with him."
Joxer's voice was filled with true concern and compassion. He might be crazy, but he was a gentle man at heart and he knew the little Godling personally. What's more, he really did like the trouble making little tike.
"Oh, nothing too serious. He's just got a bout of the Olympian Flu, but he needs to take his medicine before it can get worse."
Ares smiled. He could fix this easy. He was, after all, an experienced father, right?
"You used to say the same thing when you were little too Cupid... and he's right, it does taste yucky. It just needs to be sweetened up, that's all. Give me his medicine and I'll fix it so it tastes better. I did it for you when you were little."
A flash of light produced a little vial of blue liquid in Ares' big hand. Ares looked at it, frowned, and then another flash of light turned the liquid a little paler than before.
"There ya go Bliss. Grandpa fixed it all up for you. Won't taste all yucky now. Okay?"
Bliss giggled. Ares poured a little of the vial into the measuring spoon he materialized in a mini flash of light and walked over to his son and grandson. He tipped the pale blue liquid towards Bliss' mouth.
"Open up for Grandpa..."
There was a bright flash of light and the pale blue medicine disappeared from the measuring spoon. This was quickly followed by a coughing and sputtering sound from behind them. They turned around to see Joxer making a face that clearly screamed YUCK and clutching at his throat. Bliss giggled again.
Cupid and Ares exchanged long looks.
"Uh... Dad? I'll, um, take Bliss to see mom and you uh,... deal with your toy there, okay?"
Mutely, Ares nodded. Bliss and Cupid disappeared in a flash and Ares tried to desperately remember what that stuff would do to a mortal. Hallucinations... well, with Joxer having delusions all the time anyway, how could you tell? Horniness... once again, that was a tough call. Joxer was always willing to have sex,... with anyone. Ares blamed that on his sister Aphrodite's influence. Hot flashes... okay, that would be easy to pick up on. Hyperactivity... well,... that one was difficult. Joxer could be hyper when he wanted too, but somehow, Ares thought that in this case it might be extreme, even for Joxer.
All in all, Ares thought it best if he removed Joxer from the general population... just to be on the safe side. Walking over to the still gasping mortal, Ares pulled him into the crook of his arms and flashed away to his mountain retreat.
With a bright flash of light, Ares and Joxer materialized in a comfy and homey yet very luxurious log cabin with heavy furniture and lots of fur and wool in the decorations. Releasing the mortal, Ares watched as Joxer's jaw dropped open in amazement as he looked around at Ares' private getaway.
Joxer walked to a wooden trophy case and saw the many swords and daggers and maces. Ares could see his hands twitching and reaching out to touch. A flash of panic rushed through him as he quickly contemplated the damaged that Joxer would do to himself (not to mention the furnishings) if he got his hands on a weapon. He needed a distraction, fast.
"Hey Joxer, want to go for a swim?"
The mortal turned around and graced him with an oddly innocent smile. Then a small look of confusion washed over those bright features.
"Where?"
"A small lake, behind the cabin."
Like a shot, Joxer was off and running, shedding tin and worn leather armor as he ran. Ares could hear him babbling a mile a minute and giggled. Looks like the hyperactivity had just kicked in.
By the time Ares had made it outside, Joxer was standing nude at the end of the dock. With a grace that would be unexpected to anyone who didn't know him well, Joxer dove into the crystal clear water. With a flex of power, Ares' clothes vanished and he followed the demented warrior into the lake with a splash.
Two minutes later, the two men were embroiled in a massive water fight. They splashed and kicked and dunked each other over and over. Joxer had kept up a steady stream of words. After he had almost drowned himself several times due to the fact that he wouldn't shut up, Ares figured they should get out. When Joxer protested that he was having way too much fun, Ares won the argument by the simple expedient of picking Joxer up and slinging him over his shoulder.
Ares almost dropped the silly fool when he felt Joxer's teeth bite into the firm muscles of his naked ass, but then decided he liked it and didn't complain. It seemed that the horniness aspect had kicked in. Good.
Walking into the cabin, he headed straight for the bedroom. With an amused grin on his face, Ares tuned into the nonstop words pouring from Joxer's mouth once more.
"...but this guy was, like, totally dissin' me, and I was, like, no way. So I zapped him with this little spell and he was, like, putty in my hands. It was soooo much fun..."
Ares frowned. That didn't even sound like Joxer. The mortal was delusional yet honest, if that makes sense. He always told the truth,... as he saw it. It was never reality, but it was the truth for Joxer. That was the way it was when dealing with madness, Ares knew that. Still, Joxer had only ever presented two distinct personalities; Joxer the Mighty (Ares' toy) and Joxer the Romantic (Dite's toy).
He put Joxer on his feet again. Immediately, the naked man thrust one hip out to the side, thrust out his chest and put one hand out on Ares arm while the other made exaggerated motions in the air. He kept right on babbling away. Ares interrupted.
"Uh... who are you?"
Joxer graced him with an exaggerated look that quite clearly said, Duh!
"Arry,... are you feeling okay? It's me,... 'Dite."
Ares' eyes opened real wide at that little announcement. He looked inside the mortal's broken little mind and saw that yes, Joxer honest to Zeus thought that he was the Goddess of Love. Inwardly he didn't know if he should groan or not. Horniness and Hallucinations all at once.... Great.
Ares couldn't take 'Dite's speech patterns and mannerisms in his favorite toy, so he decided to try and stop them in the only way he could think of short of tying him up and gagging him. Although that thought had it's own appeal as well. But, no, that would be too much for the mortal. He was still very hyper and forced stillness would probably break him. Mortals were such fragile things.
In an effort to just stop the talking, Ares reached out, grabbed Joxer and pulled him into his own strong arms. Looking down at the startled face, he kissed him. Deeply. After a second of shock, Joxer kissed him back. Wow! Ares felt the blood in his brain detour to his suddenly awake and interested cock. Then Joxer broke the kiss.
"Arry,... what about Hephy?"
Ares did groan then.
"Heph won't care, 'cause you're not 'Dite'." Ares reached down and gripped Joxer's cock in his big warm hand. "See. You're not a Goddess, you're a man."
Joxer looked down at the large hand of the WarGod around his cock with a little frown of confusion on his face. Slowly, it shifted into a smile. Ares watched enthralled as the smile then shifted into a leer.
"'Course I'm a guy Ar... I'm the Sun God for Zeus' sakes..."
Ares rolled his eyes as "Apollo" posed and primped his hair. The rough shove caught him off guard, however, and he flopped onto the bed. He looked up, his eyes flashing.
"Oh, don't pull that Big Bad God of War crap on me Ar... Just shut up and fuck me. Think you can handle that? Not too difficult a task?"
Ares' eyes snapped open in a mix of lust and shock. Joxer had gotten 'Pol's arrogance down perfect, but he didn't have 'Pol's ability to survive if he pushed Ares' wrath too far.
Before Ares could figure out how to handle Joxer with Apollo's personality, the thin mortal had crawled up his body to straddle his hips. Joxer's cock was rock hard and stood out from his body. Ares could see a single drop of pre-cum clinging to the swollen tip. His mouth started to water.
"Oil! Where's your oil Ar?..."
Ares ignored the fact that it was a demand made by a mortal and simply produced a bottle of oil. Joxer poured some out on his hand and then reached down and liberally coated Ares' straining shaft with it. Ares shuddered at the touch. Then, Joxer poured out some more oil and reached behind himself to stretch his own tight muscles. Ares found it oddly erotic to watch the slim mortal prepare his body to receive Ares into it. Ares' cock twitched in appreciation of the sight.
Finished with the planning stages of his little project, Joxer calmly reached down and grasped Ares' throbbing shaft tightly. He took care to aim it at the entrance to his body and then shocked Ares to the core by just dropping straight down onto it. Ares gasped at the sudden all consuming tightness and amazing heat that surrounded him and Joxer hissed in a mixture of pain and pleasure. An errant thought crossed Ares' mind swiftly, '...and to think I only thought Joxer was good for a laugh and as a source of unrelenting humor...'
After a moment to adjust to the huge cock now firmly lodged in his guts, Joxer began to raise and then lower himself, riding Ares. Finding a rhythm, Joxer gradually increased the tempo and Ares suddenly remembered about the hyperactivity. He grinned. It was going to be one hell of a ride...
...o0O0o...
A violent tremor underneath him woke him up and Ares became aware of a burning heat source under his chest. Pushing up on his arms, he opened his eyes to see Joxer lying there asleep and burning up with fever. A mild panic hit him,... he had forgotten about the hot flashes.
Sitting up, Ares concentrated and with a flash of light he produced a bowl of cool water and a soft cloth. Gently and slowly, he bathed the sweat from the mortal's skin and gradually lowered his temperature. Little by little, Joxer slipped into a more peaceful and easy sleep.
Watching the man he had often called 'toy', 'silly fool' and 'ambush bait', Ares thought back on the wild and crazy night. That medicine had some strange side-effects and Ares had enjoyed them all. The combination of horny, hyper and hallucinating had been amazing. Joxer had kept switching personalities all night long. In all, Ares had 'slept with' Apollo, Eris, Hercules, Xena, Gabrielle and even Strife. Ares smiled at the memories.
He snuggled down into the blankets once more and pulled Joxer closer to him. The mortal had some serious talent in the sack, Ares had to give him that. Combined with how much Ares enjoyed having the danger prone man around to keep him smiling, Ares decided that he didn't want to share Joxer any more... but maybe he would stock up on some of that Olympian Flu medicine.
*fini*
Silly Fic Challenge
Requirements:
Joxer
sugar rush - sweets in extreme (enough to give a Jox a rush)
a male deity (Ares, Strife, Cupid, Heph and/or Apollo)
smut
a discarded armor (EG)
a lake/river/body of water (not the ocean please, sand is a no-no)
Broken links or other errors can be sent to
Carrie. Suggestions are also welcome.