AresJoxerCupidStrife - Caroline

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Title: The Trouble With Paradise Chapter One
Author/pseudonym: Caroline
Fandom: X:WP
Pairing: Cupid/Strife, Joxer/Ares, Xena/Psyche, Herc/Gabbie, Auto/Iolaus,
Dite/Heph
Rating: NC17
Status: new
Archive: yes to AJCS
E-mail address for feedback: caroline_crane@hotmail.com
Series/Sequel: Follows "Stupid Cupid", which can be found on my site.
Other websites: http://desiderium.slashcity.net/

Notes: I wasn't going to post this right away, but...what the hell. I'm
not very good at waiting, and evidently neither is Xena. She wanted me to
hurry up and get started so she could finally have her say. Since she's so
unbearably lovely and sweet, I couldn't really say no.

Summary: This part picks up two months after the end of "Stupid Cupid".
Cupid and Strife adjust to life together while Auto and Iolaus each try to
figure out what to do with their lives, and Xena and Psyche just try to find
a little time alone together.

Warnings: there be femmeslash here. I don't get why that requires a
warning, but some people seem to think it does. Also mentions of past abuse
(physical), and maybe some other angsty family trauma stuff. We'll see.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There were a few things about Psyche that Xena had noticed right away: the
way she smelled like clean and summer, the way her eyes lit up whenever she
was plotting something, and the fact that she was the prettiest girl Xena
had ever seen.

She knew from the one time she’d borrowed Psyche’s shower that she smelled
good because of her expensive shampoo, and after spending some time with her
she knew that Psyche was almost always plotting something. She was still
the prettiest girl Xena had ever seen, but now that they knew each other
there were other things that Xena had added to her list of things she liked
about Psyche.

There was the way she'd sighed in her sleep the one time she'd fallen asleep
on Xena's couch after a long night of watching action movies and eating way
too much junk food. Xena couldn't help reaching out to run her hands
through all that long, wavy hair; the way it brushed her shoulder was
tempting enough, but when Psyche had let out a little sigh and snuggled
closer Xena had known she was in over her head.

She'd expected that to bother her, especially after the amount of time she'd
spent avoiding getting involved with someone else. And it just figured that
the first girl that she actually had a chance with was only eighteen; she
knew if Cupid or Psyche heard her say that they'd both just roll their eyes
and tell her to get over it, but she knew from experience that eighteen was
a lot younger than twenty-one. She'd already done this once, after all,
only the last time she'd been fresh out of high school and Callisto had
seemed sophisticated and mature.

She knew she was nothing like Callisto, but it was hard not to worry anyway.
Getting involved with someone who was just starting out in life was the
last thing she'd expected, and she'd tried to talk herself out of it for a
long time before she finally realized it wasn't going to work. If it was
just Psyche's looks that interested her it would have been easy enough to
forget her, but now that they'd spent some time together Xena found that she
genuinely liked the other girl. They had fun together, they liked the same
movies and laughed at the same jokes, and they both seemed to be the person
all their friends turned to for advice.

It was nice to have someone that understood where she was coming from; that
was something Xena had never really had with Callisto, even though they'd
been together for a lot longer than she'd known Psyche. At the time she'd
thought she knew Callisto, but after two years she'd found out that they
really didn't know each other at all. Not that she'd expected their
relationship to last forever, but when she was eighteen she'd still had a
lot of romantic notions about true love. Letting go of those had been
tough, but she'd finally started when first Cupid and then Psyche walked
into her life.

Cupid...he was the real problem, because no matter how hard Xena had tried
to convince herself that true love was just a lie people told themselves,
all she had to do was look at Cupid and she started believing all over
again. It wasn't that there was anything really special about him; he was
gorgeous, sure, but she'd never been the least bit attracted to any guy.
The thing that really shook her was the way he looked at Strife as though
he'd never seen anyone quite so perfect in his life. It was almost as
though Cupid was still trying to convince himself that Strife was real, that
he wasn't about to wake up from a long, wonderful dream.

At first she'd tried to tell herself that it was just because Cupid was
young and inexperienced. If anything could snap him out of that, hanging
out with Strife could. But instead of seeing Cupid toughen up a little,
she'd watched her cousin turn into a hopeless romantic. He would never own
up to it, and it wasn't like she'd caught him quoting poetry or anything.
She had seen the way Strife looked at Cupid, though, and she had to admit
that she wanted to feel like that about someone. So when Psyche showed a
little interest in her it hadn't taken much for Xena to start thinking
things she knew would only get her into trouble.

And she was definitely in trouble, because all she'd been doing lately was
daydreaming about the next time she'd see Psyche again. They'd only had a
handful of dates; Psyche had been busy getting her own apartment ready to
move into, and it seemed like every time they tried to spend some time
together one of their friends would show up. She didn't count the times
they'd gone out with Iolaus as actual dates, because most of those nights
had been spent trying to talk Iolaus into actually talking to somebody
besides them. When they finally did get him to go up to a guy he liked they
both spent the rest of the night preoccupied with worrying about him, so
there wasn't much time to focus on their own budding relationship.

She stifled a sigh as she stole another glance at Iolaus, raising her
eyebrows as she watched his hands slide a little further down the back of
the guy he was dancing with. She wasn't even sure how they'd ended up at
the bar with Iolaus in the first place; tonight was supposed to be one of
the rare evenings she and Psyche got to themselves, but at the last minute
Iolaus had called and practically begged her to go out with him. Every time
it happened she promised herself that the next time she'd actually say no,
but so far that hadn't happened.

A hand landed on her arm and she looked to her right, smiling apologetically
when she found Psyche watching her. "Sorry. I should have told him no, I
don't know how he always talks me into this."

"It doesn't bother me," Psyche answered. "Personally, I think he's still a
little weirded out by the whole scene. He probably feels better if he can
tell himself he's just here to keep us company."

"Probably. He's gonna have to get over that soon, though. I don't know how
much more of this I can stand."

Psyche's laugh carried over the music, and Xena found herself relaxing in
spite of the too-loud techno music and the nearly stifling heat in the club.
"Do you want to dance? We can keep an eye on him better from the dance
floor anyway."

"One of these days he's going to figure out he doesn't need a babysitter,"
Psyche said as she stood up, slipping her hand into Xena's to lead the other
girl to the dance floor.

They squeezed through the crowd to an open space near Iolaus, Psyche's arms
sliding around Xena's waist as they moved to the music. It was a fast song,
but everyone on the dance floor was moving slowly, packed so tightly
together that they were practically moving as one entity. The crowds and
the loud music were the main reason Xena had always hated these clubs, but
being there with Psyche made it easier. She'd rather they were at the other
girl's apartment watching a movie or even just talking, but as long as they
were together she wasn't complaining.

"I wish I knew what happened with Auto," Psyche said, her voice buzzing
close to Xena's ear as she leaned up to be heard over the music. The
sensation sent a shiver down the taller girl's spine, and she tightened her
grip on Psyche unconsciously.

"We saw what happened," she answered, pulling back far enough to meet
Psyche's gaze.

"You know what I mean. I just don't get why neither of them will talk about
it. Every time I mention it to Auto he gets this weird look and changes the
subject."

Xena shrugged and stole a quick glance at Iolaus over Psyche's shoulder. It
had been almost two months since Auto and Iolaus slept together, and she was
pretty sure they hadn't seen each other since. At first she'd thought maybe
something would come of their one-night stand, but Iolaus hadn't shown much
interest in starting a relationship. He seemed to prefer going to the clubs
and picking up some strange guy for the night; sometimes he didn't even
bother to take the guy home, he just disappeared into the back of the club
for awhile. She shook her head to chase away the thought of what he did
back there, her gaze wandering to Iolaus again to make sure he hadn't
disappeared.

He was still on the dance floor, but she could tell by the way he was trying
to memorize the other guy's mouth that they wouldn't stick to just dancing
for long. "I wish he wouldn't do that," she muttered.

Psyche looked up at the sound of her voice, twisting in Xena's arms until
she could see Iolaus. "Well that's why he comes here, right?"

"Yeah, but I don't get it. I mean he doesn't even know that guy. He never
knows any of them."

"I think that's the whole point," Psyche answered, turning back to Xena
again and sliding her arms around the other girl's neck. "Although
sometimes I feel a little like his pimp."

A surprised laugh escaped Xena's throat at that, partly because she usually
felt exactly the same way. It bothered her to watch Iolaus hooking up with
guys he didn't even know, taking risks he didn't have to take. She had a
feeling that part of it was the fact that he still hadn't come out to anyone
besides her and Strife, but that didn't make her worry any less. He didn't
seem all that worried about all the things that could happen to him, though,
no matter how many times she lectured him on safe sex and making sure he
didn't just go home with complete strangers.

"I wish I knew somebody we could fix him up with."

"We tried that," Psyche reminded her. "Auto was totally into him, but he
didn't go for it. He doesn't want to be fixed up, he just wants…that." She
glanced at Iolaus again just as his hands disappeared under the strange
guy's shirt. They both knew he was about three seconds away from ditching
them for the night, and part of Xena was grateful that it meant they could
get out of the noisy club and go back to Psyche's place.

She knew as well as Psyche did that Iolaus was just looking for sex without
a commitment, and she had a feeling she knew why. Still, she couldn't help
hoping that if he met the right guy he'd stop being so ashamed of who he
was. "Auto never called him. Maybe he just didn't think Auto was
interested in more than one night."

"Maybe," Psyche said, "but he doesn't seem like he's looking for a
commitment."

"Well it couldn't hurt to try again, right?" Xena said. She stopped dancing
when she realized that Iolaus was leaving, his conquest for the evening
right on his heels. Her heart sank into her stomach when she registered the
expression on her friend's face; she hated watching Iolaus do this to
himself, but she wasn't sure how to help him. "Maybe if they see each other
again..."

She felt a hand on her cheek and looked down at Psyche again, her heart
twisting for a completely different reason this time. "You never know,"
Psyche said, smiling in a way that let Xena know the other girl was humoring
her. Coming from anybody else it probably would have annoyed her, but at
the moment she was grateful that Psyche was willing to encourage her
delusions. "I'll talk to Cupid, between the two of us we can come up with
something."

Xena nodded and reached up to cover the hand still resting against her
cheek. "I guess we don't have any reason to hang around here."

"Guess not," Psyche said, her smile brightening as she entwined their
fingers together and tugged Xena toward the edge of the dance floor. "So
let's go home."

~

This was the part of the day Auto hated the most. As long as he was working
he was alright; he didn't have to think about anything but his hands and his
tools and the car above him. He didn't mind being covered in grease and
dirt at the end of the day, he liked the raw feeling in his hands from a
long day of hard work. He didn't even mind sweating in the heat of the
garage after spending a few hours under a car.

What he hated was the moment when his work day was finally over, because
that was when his brain kicked back in. That was when he remembered that he
didn't have anything to look forward to after work except the remote
possibility that his old man would have passed out by the time he got home.
It was the reason he found himself lingering at the garage longer than the
other guys, taking his time scrubbing the grease out from under his
fingernails and making sure all the paperwork was in order before he left
for the day.

It wasn't his job, but no one seemed to have a problem with letting him take
over. Maybe they thought he was trying to suck up to their manager, but he
didn't even mind that as long as it meant he didn't have to go home. He
hated the thought of going home even to shower and get a few hours' sleep;
his house was run-down and depressing and it felt even smaller than it had
when he was still in school.

He had plans to get out of that house; he had plans to get out of Neptune
altogether, but saving money was taking a lot longer than he'd expected and
he didn't have the benefit of parents with money like Psyche's, or even ones
who gave a damn like Cupid's. For as long as he could remember it had been
just him and his dad, and his father had been a drunk for even longer than
that. He'd stopped hitting Auto a long time ago, after the first time he
realized Auto had grown enough to hit back. The insults hadn't stopped,
though, and the drunken yelling wasn't nearly as funny as they made it out
to be in the movies.

Mostly he just ignored the fact that his father existed, but that didn't
make it any easier to go home at night. Back when Psyche was still around
it hadn't been so bad; at least then he'd had somewhere to go when he
couldn't stand it anymore, and it was easy to forget how much his own life
sucked when he was in Psyche's house. She'd been gone for almost a month,
though, and his job didn't let him get up to the city as much as he wanted
to. Besides, she had Xena now, and there was only so much she'd put up with
him showing up and horning in on her dates. So far they'd both been pretty
cool about it, but he knew eventually they'd tell him to take a hike.

He still couldn't stand to spend too much time around Cupid and Strife. He
was over the whole jealousy thing -- for the most part, anyway -- but there
was just something about them. They were just so...cute, from the way they
talked to each other to the way they argued about dish detergent and laundry
day like they were some old married couple. Even the way they looked at
each other all google-eyed was cute, and there was only so much of that he
could take without wanting to smack their heads together until they snapped
out of it.

Part of the reason it bugged him so much to watch them together was because
he wasn't seeing anybody, but knowing that didn't make it any easier. The
truth made it a little harder, because he hated the fact that he was jealous
of Cupid's relationship. For an entire year Cupid had looked up to him like
he was some kind of god, and now Cupid was the one with his shit together.
Meanwhile Auto was just treading water, and until he figured out a faster
way out of his old man's house he was going to keep on feeling like a loser
next to his friends.

So he'd kept his distance, but it made for a lot of lonely nights. Not that
he hadn't gotten any action at all since that night at Psyche's party, but
he was used to a lot more. He was used to Psyche being around for it, too,
and that was still kind of hard to take. Not that he really missed sleeping
with her; that part of their relationship he could have given up any time if
she'd just told him she wasn't interested anymore. What he really missed
was having her around, talking to her about dumb stuff and knowing that she
understood where he was coming from even when no one else did.

He knew her so well that he didn't even have to explain himself half the
time; she just knew what he was trying to say, and he was pretty sure he
wasn't going to find that again. What he really missed was his best friend,
and even though she said they were still best friends it wasn't the same.
She was spending all her time with Xena now, and he was left behind exactly
the way he'd expected to be.

It wasn't Psyche's fault, just like it wasn't Cupid's fault he had a
sickeningly perfect relationship. Auto spent a lot of time hating himself
for resenting his friends, but no matter how much time he spent telling
himself to get over it, the feelings were still there. He missed the way
things used to be, back before Cupid met Strife and his friends decided to
move on without him.

He shook his head as he reached his back door, chasing away the depressing
thoughts and steeling himself against his father's mouth before he pushed
the door open and went inside. Once he was in the kitchen he closed the
door as quietly as possible, holding his breath in the hope that he'd be
able to sneak past his dad and make it to his room. For a long moment he
stood in the kitchen and listened; the dull drone of the TV reached his
ears, accompanied by a quiet, irregular snore.

When he realized that his father was asleep he sent up a quick prayer of
thanks to the gods of good timing, pulling the fridge open to grab a beer
before he headed back to his room. Once he was safely locked inside his own
room he dropped onto his bed, not bothering to shed any of his clothes
before he opened the beer and took a long drink. He didn't care how dirty
he was; there was no one around to yell at him for getting grease on his
bedspread, and he was too worn out even to think about a shower.

He was so tired that it was all he could do not to stretch out on his bed
and fall right to sleep, but when he heard the shrill sound of the phone
ringing his eyes opened wide and he lunged for the receiver. Somehow he
managed not to douse his entire bed in beer, setting the bottle down
carefully before he lifted the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey." Cupid's voice held a hint of concern, and Auto rolled his eyes as he
braced himself for the question he knew was coming. "Are you okay? You
sound weird."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I was just trying to get the phone before it woke up my
old man. What's up?"

"Strife's birthday is in a couple weeks, I was thinking about throwing a
party for him," Cupid said. "Nothing big, just a few people. Think you can
make it?"

"Yeah, alright," Auto answered. He was tempted to say no, but he knew Cupid
would just wear him down until he finally relented. Either that or he'd sic
Psyche on Auto, and either way he'd end up at Cupid's apartment in a few
weeks. "I don't have to get him a present, do I?"

"No." He could hear the laughter in Cupid's voice, and he was grateful that
the other boy thought he was kidding. He didn't resent Strife as much as he
used to, but he couldn't really afford to buy presents for anybody right
now, least of all Cupid's boyfriend. "Just show up. You can bring a date
if you want."

He let out a derisive snort before he could stop it, rolling his eyes at
himself and hoping Cupid hadn't noticed. "Sure, Cupe. Sounds good. Just
let me know when and all that."

"Yeah, sure," Cupid answered, that same concern creeping back into his
voice. "Listen, how've you been? I haven't seen you for awhile."

"I'm alright, busy with work and all," Auto said, hoping Cupid would buy the
excuse. "Speaking of which, I just got home and I feel like I've been
rolling around in a grease pit all day. I'm gonna go hit the shower, but
I'll give you a call, alright?"

"Alright. Auto..."

"Yeah?" Auto said, bracing himself for one of Cupid's pep talks. Or worse,
he'd come right out and ask if something was wrong and force Auto to lie.
He didn't really enjoy lying to his friends, but sometimes it was easier
than trying to make them understand the truth.

"Nothing. I'll talk to you later."

"Sure, Cupe," he said, swallowing a relieved sigh and hanging up the phone.
He had a feeling Cupid hadn't bought his excuse for getting off the phone,
but he'd decided it wasn't worth trying to get the truth out of Auto. He'd
probably call Psyche and have a meeting of the minds with her about Auto's
emotional well-being, but as long as they were talking to each other about
him it meant they weren't bugging him about it. Sooner or later Psyche
would probably corner him and try to get the truth out of him, but the
longer he put them off the longer he had to come up with a story she might
actually buy.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You told him he could bring somebody? Why the hell did you do that?"

Psyche's voice bordered on ear-splitting, and Cupid winced and took a few involuntary steps backwards. "I didn't want him to think we were setting him up. If he thought something was going on he might not show up at all."

"Cupe, we *are* setting him up," Psyche reminded him, rolling her eyes and sitting down hard on the sofa. "Great. Now he's gonna show up with some braindead chick and Iolaus will never get the hint."

Cupid frowned and sat down on the opposite end of the couch, as far away from Psyche as he could get without making it look like he was scared of her. "Auto hasn't gone out with a girl since you broke up. I don't think he's gone out with anybody since...well, you know."

They shared a guilty look at the memory of the night they'd set up Auto and Iolaus. Cupid knew he was mostly to blame, but Psyche had spent a lot of time over the past few months beating herself up about it too. He knew it was because she was worried about Auto, especially now that they were both living in the city and he was stuck in Neptune. He wouldn't admit it, but that night with Iolaus had affected Auto a lot more than any of them had expected it to. The problem was that Cupid couldn't tell if it was about Iolaus specifically, or if it was because Auto finally had to admit to himself that he preferred guys.

Cupid had never understood what the big deal was about that, but he'd dealt with all that when he was fourteen and all the uncertainty was just a memory now. Besides, he'd never even tried convincing himself that he could date girls, and Auto had been with Psyche for as long as Cupid had known them. Maybe it was weird for him to be single again, especially since Psyche was already involved with somebody else. "He won't bring a date," Cupid said, as much to convince himself as to reassure Psyche. "He laughed when I suggested it."

"Did you tell him who else was coming to the party?" she asked, lifting her head out of her hands long enough to fix him with a piercing stare.

"No. I'm not an idiot," he snapped, feeling more and more like an idiot with every second she kept glaring at him. "Besides, he didn't seem that interested. You might have to go get him if you want him to show up."

"We could both go," she said, her expression softening suddenly. "Kind of like old times, you know? Like when we'd all ride the train into the city on the weekend."

"Yeah, maybe. If I can get Joxer to come over and set up the party. That way I could tell Strife I was spending the day with you guys and he'll think I forgot all about his birthday. Then we'd just need Xena to get him out of the loft for a few hours." It was perfect now that he thought about it; he'd been trying to come up with a way to keep Strife from guessing about his surprise party, and this could be exactly the distraction he needed. Besides, he was pretty sure Auto would blow it off if at least one of them didn't go get him. He'd been blowing off most of their invitations lately, claiming he was too tired or too busy at work. Cupid had the feeling he was just avoiding all of them, but he wasn't sure why.

"Sounds like a plan. Are you sure Iolaus is going to show up?"

"He said he would. You see him more than me."

"Yeah, but when we see him he's not exactly in a conversational mood," Psyche answered. She sighed dramatically and tucked her legs under her, turning on the couch until she was facing him. "He's not going to show up with a date, is he? Some of those guys he picks up..."

She trailed off with a shudder, and Cupid bit back a laugh at the thought of Iolaus picking up strange guys. He'd heard all the stories from her and Xena, but he was still having a hard time picturing it. The Iolaus he knew just didn't seem like the type, but then again they really hadn't seen much of him lately. "He wouldn't bring some strange guy to Strife's birthday party. He doesn't even tell us about them, I don't think he wants Strife to know. Maybe he's afraid it'll get back to Hercules."

"Is he ever gonna come out to Herc?" Psyche asked, but Cupid knew she wasn't really expecting an answer. They'd all been wondering the same thing for the past two months, but any time someone brought it up Iolaus had an excuse for why he hadn't said anything. First it was all too new and he was still getting used to the idea, then Hercules had too much on his mind with the baby. Once Herc was settled in with Gabbie they all figured Iolaus would finally tell his best friend the truth, but so far he hadn't said a word. "Sometimes I wish Xena would just forget and let something slip to Gabbie. At least that way it would be out there and he could stop worrying about it."

Cupid laughed mirthlessly at the thought of Gabbie breaking the news to Hercules about his best friend. "I don't know if it even matters, it's not like Herc has much time for anybody these days."

"*He's* not coming to the party, is he?" Panic flashed in her eyes at the thought, and Cupid had to bite back another laugh.

"I didn't invite him. Besides, it's not like he and Strife are exactly best friends. He's still pissed that they're keeping the band together without him."

"Well that's something, I guess," Psyche said. "I mean if Herc showed up there's no way Iolaus would even talk to Auto."

"Do you really think this is gonna work?" Cupid asked. He'd had his doubts since she first brought up the idea, and he wasn't sure how much he wanted to be responsible for another disaster like the last time they'd tried to fix Iolaus and Auto up. The fact that it sort of worked just made everything more awkward, and he had a feeling this time would be even worse.

"No," Psyche answered, a soft sigh escaping her throat at the thought. "But Xena can't stand watching Iolaus pick up strange guys anymore, she takes it really personally. She's the one that wants to try again with Auto. But if it works it'll be good for both of them, right? They both need *something*, maybe together they could figure out what it is."

"Yeah, maybe." He started to tease Psyche about why Xena's feeling were suddenly so important to her, but before he had a chance he heard the door at the bottom of the stairs open, letting him know that Strife and Xena were back from auditioning guitarists. "Finally," he said, glancing at the clock to discover that it was after 10:00.

A minute later the door at the top of the stairs opened, and Strife led Xena into the loft. Cupid didn't bother to check the grin that surfaced at the sight of his boyfriend; he kept waiting for the day his stomach would stop fluttering every time he saw Strife, but it had been four months and it hadn't happened yet. "Where's Iolaus?" he asked as Strife crossed the room to plan a firm kiss on his lips.

"Took off right after we finished," Strife answered. "Seemed like he was in a real hurry."

"He's been acting weird all week," Xena interjected. "I saw him when I was on my way home yesterday and he barely said hi before he took off."

"Maybe he finally got a boyfriend or somethin'," Strife said, laughing at the expressions on the three faces staring back at him. "What? It could happen."

"As long as it's not one of those losers he picks up at the club." Xena shuddered and glanced over at Psyche. "Do you want to hang out here or...?"

"Nah, I've been staring at Cupid long enough," Psyche answered, ignoring Cupid's scowl as she reached for her purse. "See you guys later."

Cupid walked them to the door, leaning down to let Psyche kiss his cheek and waving to Xena before he closed the door behind them. When they were gone he leaned against the wooden surface and watched Strife move around the kitchen, rummaging through cupboards for something edible. "So?"

"So what?" Strife asked without looking up.

Cupid rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the door, crossing to the kitchen to lean against the counter. "So how'd the auditions go? Did you find somebody or what?"

"Oh. Yeah," Strife answered, his back to Cupid as he lifted the lid off a container and sniffed its contents. "Some guy, Apollo somethin'-or-other. Kinda inta himself, if ya ask me. But he's bettah than Herc, anyway."

"Well at least you found somebody." Cupid crossed to the fridge and pulled out a few containers, then he pulled the container Strife had been holding out of his hands and dropped it in the sink. "Don't eat that unless you want to spend the whole night puking."

"Thanks." Strife made a face and turned away from the sink, watching as Cupid piled food onto a plate and stuck it in the microwave. "Ta tell ya the truth, I was startin' ta wonder if there were any decent guitarists in the city. Lucky fer us Iolaus found this guy or we'd still be lookin'."

"Iolaus knows him?"

"Yeah," Strife said, reaching into the fridge for a beer. "Says he met 'im at some club or somethin'. Maybe that place Herc works, I forget."

Cupid frowned at the thought of Iolaus picking up their new guitarist in some club. "Is he gay?"

"Beats me," Strife answered, glancing curiously at Cupid over the top of his beer. "That's not part a the audition. Why?"

"Just curious." Cupid turned his back on Strife when the microwave beeped, focusing on the other boy's dinner so he wouldn't have to look at Strife. He was dying to ask if the new guitarist was cute, but he didn't want Strife to think he was jealous. He wasn't, not really; chances were that if the new guy was interested in anyone in the band, it was Iolaus, so there was no reason for Cupid to worry about it. "Maybe he's the mystery man in Iolaus' life," he said as he handed Strife's dinner to him.

"I don't think so. Iolaus took off before 'Pol was even done packin' his gear," Strife said. He took the plate and leaned up to plant another kiss on the corner of Cupid's mouth. "Thanks, Cupe. I'm starvin'."

~

Psyche's fingers tightened gently in Xena's as the other girl turned in the direction of the subway station that would take her home. As soon as she felt the gentle tug Xena stopped, raising one eyebrow expectantly. "You could come back to my place," Psyche said.

"It's getting late," Xena answered, but Psyche could see the grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"I know." Psyche took a step forward and leaned up on her toes to press a soft kiss to Xena's lips. "Almost time for bed."

Psyche knew she was taking a risk; they hadn't slept together yet, although they'd skirted around the possibility more than once. She wasn't used to taking things so slowly, but in a way it was kind of nice. Xena was the first person she'd ever dated that didn't seem to expect something from her, and Psyche was learning to enjoy just spending time in someone's company without the expectation of more.

It was a little frustrating sometimes, though, especially when the little time they did get to spend together was interrupted by their friends more often than not. Tonight, for instance, they were supposed to spend alone, but at the last minute Strife had called about an impromptu audition and Xena had to go listen to some guy play guitar. That had been three hours ago, and she's ended up spending most of the evening hanging out with Cupid. Not that she minded hanging out with Cupid, but it wasn't the same as a real date with Xena.

And it was almost worth propositioning Xena in the middle of the sidewalk just to see the other girl blush. Psyche knew their age difference bothered Xena sometimes, but she couldn't help wanting to laugh at that when she remembered how shy the older girl could be. It wasn't something anyone would expect when they first saw her, but that just made it look even better on her. "I'll understand if you'd rather just go home."

There; she'd offered Xena an out, that couldn't count as pressuring the other girl. She had a feeling Xena didn't really want an out, though, at least if her expression was any indication. "I don't know," Xena answered, pushing a few stray strands of hair away from Psyche's forehead with her free hand. "Do you think we can actually make it into your apartment without any of our friends showing up?"

A surprised laugh escaped Psyche's throat as she realized that Xena was actually going to come home with her. "Well we just left Strife and Cupid all alone, so bothering us is probably the last thing on their minds. Iolaus took off on some mysterious errand, and Auto's in Jersey. I think it's probably safe."

Xena smiled and let Psyche pull her down the sidewalk in the direction of her apartment. As they fell into step together Psyche told herself that she was right; there was no reason any of their friends would call or come over at this hour, even on the weekend. The fact that it was Friday night just meant that they probably all had plans already, and even if they didn't they wouldn't just show up now. The fact that it had happened more than once over the past two months didn't mean it would happen again tonight. They were all accounted for, so as far as she was concerned they were safe.

She nodded to herself as they reached her building, fishing her keys out of her purse and opening the outer door. They stepped into the dark hallway and Xena closed the door behind them before she followed Psyche up the stairs to her apartment door. When they reached the landing Psyche stopped short, and Xena had to grab her arm to stop herself from slamming into the smaller girl. Psyche hardly noticed, however, because she was too busy staring at the person standing in front of her door.

"Auto? What are you doing here?"

"Oh. Hey," Auto said as he turned to face them. It was hard to see him in the dark hallway, but she could tell he was smiling a little sheepishly and that he was holding something. "I was just gonna leave you a note. I'm not staying."

"You came all the way to the city to leave a note on my door?" Psyche asked, arching her eyebrows skeptically.

"No...I mean I came by to see if you were around, but since you weren't..."

"Are you okay?" Psyche interrupted, ignoring his stuttering explanation. "You sound funny."

"I'm fine. Look, I was in the city so I stopped by to see if you were around, but you're busy so I'll split. I'll just call you tomorrow or something."

She'd known him long enough to know when he was lying, and she could tell by his defensive tone that something was wrong. Part of her wanted to let him go, to take him at his word and let him go back to Jersey. He probably wasn't going to tell her what was on his mind in front of Xena anyway, and there was no way she was going to ask Xena to leave. She couldn't just let him leave when he had something on his mind, though; she was still his best friend, even if they didn't see each other much anymore.

"Don't be stupid, Auto," she said as she pushed her apartment door open. "You didn't come all the way here just to turn around and go right home again. You don't mind, do you, Xena?"

They both looked at Xena in time to watch her smile; as far as Auto could probably tell she was just being friendly, but Psyche could see the mixture of amusement and exasperation in the other girl's wry grin. "I don't mind," Xena answered. "We were just gonna watch a movie or something anyway, you might as well hang out."

He looked like he was thinking about arguing some more, so before he got a chance Psyche grabbed him by the arm and pushed him ahead of her into the apartment. She leaned against the door and let Xena brush past her next, reaching out and catching the other girl's hand before Xena could follow Auto into her living room. "I'm sorry," she whispered, keeping her voice down so Auto wouldn't overhear her. "I couldn't just let him leave."

"It's okay," Xena said, her smile letting Psyche know that she meant it. "Besides, I want to talk to him."

Psyche opened her mouth to ask what Xena could possibly have to talk to Auto about, but the question died on her lips when realization dawned on her. "I don't think that's a good idea," she said, glancing nervously at Auto to make sure he wasn't listening. "He still gets kind of weird when I bring up Iolaus."

"Don't worry, I won't embarrass him," Xena said. She smiled sweetly and leaned down to brush her lips against Psyche's, but the kiss didn't reassure Psyche at all. She let out a heavy sigh as Xena stepped into the apartment, closing and locking the door before she turned back to her guests. It was definitely turning out to be a long night, and she had a feeling it was about to get even longer.


As soon as he walked into Psyche's apartment Auto knew showing up at her
place unannounced had been a big mistake. For one thing he'd interrupted
yet another date with Xena, and if that wasn't bad enough, he had a feeling
they'd only forced him to come in because they felt sorry for him. Pity was
the last thing he wanted?okay, maybe he wouldn't mind a little pity from
Psyche, but he didn't really want anyone else around to witness it.

Xena obviously wasn't going anywhere, though, and by the time they got done
whispering about him at the door he'd thought up and discarded at least a
dozen excuses to leave. The problem was that Psyche knew him too well to
fall for some lame story, so either he told them the truth and left before
they could stop him, or he was stuck there until Psyche kicked him out. He
made a mental note to call first the next time he decided to see what Psyche
was doing as he took a seat in one of the armchairs across from the couch.

His first clue that something was different came when Xena sat down across
from him, settling on one side of the couch and flashing him a bright grin.
He liked Xena; she seemed like a cool chick, but she was usually pretty
quiet around him. He had no idea if it was just him or if she was quiet all
the time, but from the way she was looking at him he got the feeling she had
something to say tonight.

"You're gay, right?"

Auto blinked and glanced over his shoulder at Psyche, but she was standing
in the kitchen with her back to the two of them. "Bi," he answered
carefully, slowly turning to face Xena again.

"Whatever." Xena waved a hand dismissively and smiled again, giving Auto the
distinct impression that she knew something he didn't. "So do you mind if I
ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"You know Iolaus, don't you?"

That was his second clue that something was definitely up. For a second he
thought about getting up and making a break for it, but that would be as
good as admitting that he still thought about Iolaus. Besides, there was no
way of knowing what Xena wanted to ask him; he had no idea if Iolaus had
told his friends about that night at Psyche's house. He stopped just short
of rolling his eyes at himself and forced himself to meet her gaze. "You
could say that. Why?"

"The thing is, he's been acting kind of weird lately, and I figured maybe a
guy would understand what's up with him better than I can."

"Weird how?" Auto asked, forgetting to be wary of her questions long enough
to wonder what was going on with Iolaus.

"Well I haven't really known him all that long, but from what Strife tells
me he never used to sleep around all that much. But ever since he came out
he's been picking up guys left and right. I've never seen anybody go this
crazy, it's like he's trying to make up for lost time or something. You're
a guy, does that seem normal to you?"

He couldn't tell from her expression whether or not she was trying to get a
specific reaction out of him; she looked genuinely worried, but for all he
knew she and Psyche had dreamed this up to get him to admit that he had a
thing for Iolaus. "He really came out?"

"Sort of. I mean he'll go to gay bars with me and Psyche, and Strife and
Cupid know. But that's it so far, aside from the guys he picks up. They
don't really count, though; it's not like he knows any of them. He hasn't
told Herc or any of his family."

"Is he still dating girls?" He wasn't aware he'd been thinking the question
until it came out of his mouth, and he wasn't sure even after he'd asked it
why he wanted to know. Something about the thought of Iolaus and a bunch of
strange guys did weird things to his stomach, and he would have been just as
happy to change the subject and pretend she'd never brought it up. Still,
she seemed kind of worried about him, and if Xena was worried that meant
something was probably wrong.

"I don't think so. I haven't seen him with a girl since he moved here. I
mean besides the ones who used to follow Herc around everywhere, but even
then Iolaus never seemed that interested. I used to think it was because he
was adjusting to living in the city and dealing with the band, but I guess
Strife was right all along."

"Right about what?"

"About Iolaus not being into girls at all," Xena answered, frowning at him
as though the answer should have been obvious. "He's never had any problem
with girls; I mean you've talked to him, you know how nice he is. Girls
love him. But he never showed all that much interest, and Strife always
figured it was because he'd rather be with a guy. He's just having a hard
time admitting it to himself."

"But you just said he was dating guys now." He had a feeling he was missing
some important piece of information, but for the life of him he couldn't
figure out what it was. The way Xena kept staring at him was making him
nervous, and concentrating on pretending he didn't care what Iolaus did was
bad enough without wondering what he didn't know.

"I wouldn't say 'dating'. One night stands, maybe. Sometimes they're not
even a whole night. Sometimes he just drags some guy into the bathroom
and?"

"Yeah, okay, I get it," Auto interrupted, trying and failing to suppress a
grimace at the thought of Iolaus and some strange guy pressed up against
each other in a bathroom stall. Not that the thought wasn't kind of hot ?
his face flushed and he hoped Xena wouldn't think he was blushing ? but he
didn't really need that mental image burned into his brain. "Look, what are
you asking me for? If you're worried about him you should talk to him."

"That's the thing. He won't talk about it," Xena answered. "I just figured
since you've been through the same thing that you might know how he feels."

He opened his mouth to tell her that he'd never been some pathetic closet
case like Iolaus, but before he could get the words out Psyche finally
appeared, setting three beers down on the coffee table and taking a seat
next to Xena. "What are you guys talking about? Looks serious."

"Nothing," Xena said, flashing a smile in Auto's direction that looked
anything but innocent. "I was just telling him how Iolaus is doing."

Auto could tell from the frown that briefly wrinkled Psyche's forehead that
she and Xena hadn't talked about this beforehand, but just because they
hadn't planned it didn't mean she wouldn't play along. He'd never known her
to let a good opportunity pass her by, and he knew all too well that she'd
been dying to get more details out of him since the night she set them up.

"Sounds like he's doing okay to me," he muttered under his breath, hoping it
didn't sound as bitter as it felt. "Maybe he's just not looking for
something serious."

"That's the thing, he's not really like that. At least that's what Strife
says. Back in Detroit whenever he had a girlfriend it was always serious.
He didn?t just mess around the way Herc does, anyway."

"Well maybe he is looking for something serious," Psyche said, glancing over
at Auto before she turned her attention back to Xena. "Maybe that's what he
wants and he's just going about it all wrong. I mean we all know that
picking up guys in bars isn't the way to start a relationship?"

"It worked for Cupe," Auto interjected, grinning when she made a face at
him. "What? It did."

"Yeah, but how many guys did he go through before he met one he really
liked? Maybe Iolaus is doing the same thing."

"Look, you're missing my whole point. Not everybody wants to get all
wrapped up in some relationship, you know. The guy's having a good time,
let him have it. When he gets sick of it he'll do something about it," Auto
said, not bothering to hide his exasperation. The last thing he wanted to
do was spend the evening theorizing about Iolaus' love life; if he'd known
this was what he was getting himself into he would have stayed home and
listened to his father get drunk like he did every other night. It wouldn't
have been so bad if they didn't know how much it bothered him, but he could
see the pity in Psyche's eyes and he knew she could tell even if he'd never
admitted that it bothered him.

And it wasn't like he was in love with the guy or anything; he barely knew
him, after all, but thinking about that night just reminded Auto of
everything he didn't have. Everything he wasn't going to have, at least not
at the rate things were going for him. He'd slept with other guys since
then, but it had been mostly fairly anonymous one-time things just like
Iolaus evidently preferred. The difference was that that wasn't what Auto
wanted ? that wasn't even close to what he wanted, but he wasn't planning to
talk about it with Xena and Psyche.

"Look," Xena said, drawing Auto's attention back to the fact that they were
both watching him brood, "I know it's none of my business and you can tell
me to fuck off if you want, but you probably know more about Iolaus when it
comes to this stuff than anybody."

"Me? I barely know the guy," Auto answered, frowning at first Xena and then
Psyche as he tried to figure out what they wanted from him.

"But you guys slept together," Xena said, confirming Auto's suspicion that
she did know about that night after all. "Did he say anything? I mean did
you say you were gonna call or anything?"

His first instinct was to tell her it was none of her goddamn business, but
he had a feeling that if he did they'd read more into it than was strictly
true. It wasn't like he owed Iolaus anything, anyway, and if she thought
he'd broken Iolaus' heart or something he wanted to set her straight. "No,"
he finally answered. "He said something about seeing me around and took off
before I even said goodbye. He seemed like he was in a real hurry to get
the hell outta there, to tell you the truth."

Saying that out loud was more embarrassing than he'd expected it to be; he'd
never given Psyche or anybody else details about that night, and now that he
remembered the way it had ended he wondered why he'd ever expected to hear
from Iolaus again. He obviously hadn't wanted to see Auto again, so there
was no reason to wait around for him to change his mind. "Look, I should
get going," he said, standing up and reaching for his jacket without making
eye contact with either one of them.

"Auto, I'm sorry," Xena began, but he waved off her apology and shrugged
into his jacket.

"Forget it, it's no big deal. It was just one night. Like I said, he's
probably not ready for anything serious yet." He paused at the door and
waited for Psyche to catch up with him, avoiding her eyes as she leaned up
to kiss his cheek. "I gotta go or I'll miss the train," he said, stepping
out of her reach and pulling the door open. "See you guys around."

~

This was the part he hated, because he was never sure how to handle it.
Most of the time he avoided bringing anybody back to his place at all, but
sometimes there just wasn't any other choice. Kneeling in front of some
strange guy in an alley wasn't exactly his idea of the ideal situation ? not
that he hadn't done it once or twice ? but when it got to this point he
usually found himself wishing that he'd opted for anonymous sex in back of a
building.

The body stretched out on his bed shifted and Iolaus held his breath, part
of him hoping the kid would wake up and get out and the rest of him praying
he'd just stay asleep until Iolaus was ready to deal with him. He
remembered asking the kid's name at some point during the night, but it had
been noisy in the club and he couldn't remember anymore whether he'd said it
was Ray or Roy. Or maybe it was Randy, not that it really mattered one way
or the other, because once he woke up Iolaus wasn't planning to see him
again.

He looked a lot younger now that he was naked and fast asleep, and Iolaus
found himself praying the kid was at least eighteen. The last thing he
needed was to start cradle robbing on top of everything else; the worst part
was that he wasn't even sure how he got himself into these situations, they
just sort of happened while he wasn't paying attention. One moment he'd be
dancing with some cute guy and the next thing he knew one of them was
pressed up against a wall in the back of the club, or else they were making
their way out of the club to find someplace less crowded to have sex. There
was never any discussion, it just sort of happened without him even having
to try. And the weird part was that he was never really sure whether or not
he wanted to go through with it, even when he was leading the guy up the
stairs to his room.

He never regretted it in that way that kept people awake at night ? they
were both consenting adults, after all, and it wasn't like they were hurting
anybody. The only part that really bothered him was the empty feeling in
the pit of his stomach whenever it was over, and when he woke up and found
some stranger still asleep next to him the gnawing emptiness got a little
worse. He didn't know what it meant exactly, but it was the same feeling he
got whenever he thought about telling Hercules the truth about what he did
with all his free time.

The more used to it he got the closer he got to a definition, though, and
lately he couldn't help thinking that the best word to describe it was
dread. Only he didn't dread the sex ? it was the waking up with a stranger
and trying to figure out a way to get rid of him that really bothered him.
Every once in awhile one of them would try to strike up a conversation, or
even suggest meeting up at a club the next weekend. Iolaus was never really
sure what to say to that, because even though part of him liked the idea of
actually going out with someone, he knew he couldn't do it. So he usually
murmured some noncommittal response and then spent the rest of the week
avoiding whatever club they'd met in, looking over his shoulder any time he
went out expecting to run into a guy whose face he couldn't even remember.

Every time it happened he told himself he was going to take care of it; he
was going to come clean with Hercules, and then it wouldn't matter anymore
whether he saw the same guy more than once. He just needed a little time to
get his best friend used to the idea, and then he could let himself go out
on actual dates and maybe stop worrying so much about what people would
think if they saw him with another guy.

More than once he'd started to tell Hercules the truth, but every time he
changed his mind at the last minute. The timing was always off; either
Gabbie would show up talking a mile a minute about the baby, or Herc had
been in a pissy mood because of work, or the subject of the band would come
up and ruin the mood. He kept telling himself he just had to catch Herc at
the right moment, but so far that moment hadn't come and he was starting to
wonder if it ever would.

The body next to him shifted, surprising him out of his thoughts as he
tensed and looked over at the other boy. As soon as his gaze fell on the
kid's face he found himself staring back at a pair of sleepy brown eyes,
blinking drowsily at him for a moment before they cleared and the kid pushed
himself up onto his elbows. "What time is it?"

"Around 1:30," Iolaus answered, glancing automatically at the alarm clock
sitting on top of the table next to his bed. He thought about offering to
let the kid stay the night, but he remembered himself just in time and
swallowed the words. His bed was almost too small for him as it was, and
sharing it with somebody else wasn't the most comfortable experience he'd
ever had. The fact was that he was dying to get the kid out of there so he
could be alone, but he didn't want to throw him out in the middle of the
night.

"I better get going," Ray or Roy or whatever his name was said, and Iolaus
had to stop himself from breathing a sigh of relief. "If I don't hurry I'll
miss my train."

"Train?" Iolaus asked, although if he was honest he would have had to admit
that he didn't care where the kid went as long as it was somewhere other
than his bed.

"Long Island. If I miss the next train I have to wait another hour."

Iolaus watched as he stood up and began pulling his clothes back on. It
seemed strange to him that the whole situation should be so matter of fact,
but the kid didn't seem at all phased by the fact that he was getting
dressed in some stranger's room in the middle of the night. For a second he
found himself regretting the fact that he couldn't remember the other boy's
name, but he stopped himself from asking and resigned himself to watching
while his guest ran his hands through his hair and checked to make sure he
still had his wallet.

"Well I gotta go," the kid said, and for a second Iolaus wasn't sure if he
should get up and see him out or not. Then the other boy pulled the door
open and Iolaus swallowed a sigh of relief, thankful that he wasn't
expecting a drawn-out goodbye. "Maybe I'll see you around."

"Yeah, maybe," Iolaus answered, feeling clumsy suddenly as the kid grinned
at him and then slipped out the door. His tongue felt thick and he wasn't
even sure if he'd said the words out loud, but the important thing was that
he was alone. He let out a heavy sigh and fell back against the pillows,
trying his best to ignore the unfamiliar scent that covered his sheets. He
knew 'see you around' meant that there were no expectations of a repeat
performance; he'd said it often enough himself without ever meaning it, but
for some reason the words still made the hollow feeling just a little worse.

He shook his head in a vain effort to chase the strange thoughts out of his
head, turning onto his side and squeezing his eyes shut. He just needed to
get some sleep; between the band and his new place and all the changes in
his life lately, he hadn't been getting enough sleep. That was all that was
wrong, and as soon as he slept for a few hours everything would be alright
again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Strife was standing at the kitchen counter when it happened. He had his back to the bedroom, so he didn't even realize there was someone else in the room until he felt a pair of strong arms wrap around him. For a split second he tensed, but as soon as he realized what was happening he relaxed and let himself lean back against the warmth of Cupid's chest. He would have been happier if the chest in question wasn't covered in a Neptune High track tee shirt, but that was a situation that could easily be remedied.

"Mmm," he murmured when a pair of warm lips found the soft skin just behind his ear, only to find himself disappointed and decidedly colder when Cupid squeezed briefly and then promptly let go. "Hey, where're ya goin'?"

"Gotta meet Psyche," Cupid answered, taking advantage of the fact that Strife was facing him now to lean forward and press their lips together. When he pulled back again he gave the other boy a bright, cheerful grin. "We're going to see Auto today, Psyche says he's been acting kind of weird lately. You've got rehearsal anyway, right?"

"Well, yeah, but..." Strife trailed off as he watched Cupid cross to the living room and start pulling on a pair of boots. "What time're ya comin' back?"

"I don't know, depends what we decide to do," Cupid said. He pulled his boots on and looked up, frowning briefly at Strife' s expression. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Nah. Why would I?" He wasn't entirely sure that sounded convincing, but Cupid didn't seem to notice the too-cheerful tone in his voice. In fact, Cupid seemed pretty oblivious to the fact that Strife was still in the room. "Tell Psyche I said hey."

"Sure thing," Cupid said, glancing up long enough to grin at Strife. He finished lacing his boots and stood up, tucking his wallet into the pocket of his jeans before he crossed to the door. "See you tonight."

"Yeah, sure," Strife muttered as he watched Cupid pull the door closed behind him. Once the younger boy was gone Strife stood in the center of the room, unconscious of the frown marring his pale features. "Well," he finally said to no one in particular, "happy fuckin' birthday ta me."

~

"Man, that was brutal," Cupid said when he reached Psyche. She was standing on the subway platform where they'd agreed to meet, and she patted his back sympathetically when he stopped next to her.

"It's for a good cause."

"Yeah, but you should have seen his face," Cupid lamented, his heart sinking all over again at the memory of Strife just standing there staring at him. "He thinks I completely forgot."

"Only for a little while," she said, giving him what he knew she hoped was a reassuring smile. "Once he knows what you've been up to all this time he'll forget all about it."

"I don't know. What do you wanna bet his mother never remembered his birthday? The stories he's told me about her..." Cupid trailed off with a visible shudder, then went right back to scowling at himself. "This was a bad idea. Maybe I should call him and tell him."

"Cupe, no. Trust me, he's gonna be thrilled when he figures out what how much trouble you went to for him. I bet he's never had a surprise party before."

"Yeah, I guess not." Cupid cheered up slightly at the thought of throwing Strife his first surprise party, giving Psyche a weak smile as the train pulled into the station. "Thanks, Psyche."

"Please, like I'm gonna let you ruin the surprise on the day of the party," she said as they boarded the train. "Besides, I have enough problems with Auto angsting all over the place about his life. I don't need you having a nervous breakdown about Strife's birthday."

He grinned at the back of her head as she led him down the aisle to an empty seat, settling next to her before he answered. "So what's the deal with Auto, anyway?"

"I don't know," Psyche answered. "He just showed up at my place the other night, and as soon as Xena brought up Iolaus he couldn't get out of there fast enough. But he's gotta be lonely to come all the way into the city on the off chance I'd be home. I mean usually he'd call first, you know?"

"He never used to call before he showed up at your parents' house."

"Yeah, but that was just across town. If Xena and I hadn't showed up when we did he would have spent two hours on the train for nothing."

Cupid shrugged and settled a little further into the plastic seat, trying and failing to find a comfortable position. "Maybe he had a back-up plan. Maybe he was gonna go to a club if you weren't home. Or swing by my place."

She gave him a look that let him know what she thought the likelihood of that was. "He's not the club type, you know that. I used to have to drag him to those places, he'd never go by himself. He won't even go to a show by himself."

"I don't know. I mean it's not like he really has much choice these days, right? He can't just be sitting around at home every night just because we're not around anymore." He told himself he believed that, but he wasn't entirely convinced. The fact was that she knew Auto better than anybody, and if she thought there was something wrong with him then chances were she was right. "And hey, at least he's coming to the party. Maybe when he sees Iolaus again he'll give it another chance."

"I'm not so sure he was the problem in the first place."

"What, you think Iolaus is the one who shot Auto down?"

She let out a frustrated sigh and turned in her seat so she was facing him, her expression telling him that she was really worried about the whole situation. "I don't know, Cupe. I mean right after he hooked up with Iolaus he seemed almost happy, you know? Like it didn't bother him so much that we were both moving to the city. But then nothing happened and now he won't even talk about it. When Xena brought it up I thought he was going to throw up or something. Then he just got up and took off before I could stop him."

The running away part definitely sounded like Auto; as long as Cupid had known him he'd always found a way to get out of talking about anything that made him uncomfortable, and the idea of a relationship with anybody but Psyche should have been at the top of the list. They'd all worried that Iolaus was going to be the one to get hurt when they set him up with Auto, but now Cupid wasn't sure what to think. It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, and for awhile he'd hoped that it would all work itself out the way it was supposed to. Only now Auto seemed more determined than ever to isolate himself from the rest of them, and Iolaus...well, the fact that he was still half in the closet was the least of his problems. "Do you think it's a good idea for them to see each other again?"

"It's too late now," Psyche answered. "I mean we can't uninvite Auto without making him think something's up, and Iolaus is the one who's supposed to get Strife to the loft on time."

"What if we tell Auto that Iolaus is coming? He might decide to bail on his own."

For a second she looked like she was actually considering it, but a moment later she shook her head. "No, if we do that he'll think we're choosing Iolaus over him or something. Besides, if Auto doesn't show Xena will never forgive me. She seems to think he's the answer to all Iolaus' problems."

Cupid wanted to laugh at the idea of Auto being the answer to anybody's problems, but the truth was that Xena had a point. Iolaus and Auto both needed *something*, and it made sense to everyone around them that since they were both single that they'd find it with each other. They knew they could get along, anyway, and that was a better start than a lot of relationships got. "Okay, so we go through with the plan. Auto doesn't find out Iolaus is coming to the party until he shows up. That way he can't take off without making it totally obvious, and we'll know for sure whether or not he's interested."

He could tell from the look she gave him that she wasn't any more sure than he was that the plan would work, but they were already halfway to New Jersey and there wasn't much else they could do. Besides, Auto and Iolaus were both adults; they could decide for themselves whether or not they liked each other enough to do something about it. All Cupid and Psyche were doing was giving them an opportunity to test the waters, the rest would be up to them.

~

While he was growing up Strife's birthday had never been a big deal. Sure, his uncle usually sent him a card and a check, and every once in awhile his mother would remember and get him a little something. One year she gave him a six-pack so he and his friends could go celebrate 'somewhere out of her hair'. Then there was the year that she was under the impression he'd taken up smoking, and she took a pack of cigarettes out of her carton and tossed them at him while he was headed out the door to go to school. Even when he was little they'd never made a big deal out of his birthday, although he vaguely remembered a cake at his grandmother's house when he was around six. She'd died not long after that, though, and once his old man went to prison he and his mother pretty much went their separate ways.

It wasn't that she didn't love him; she wasn't doting like Cupid's mom or totally overprotective like Xena's mother, but she put a roof over his head and made sure he had something to eat most of the time. The problem was that she just didn't know how to be a mother, and she didn't really have anybody around to show her. It was weird in a way that she and Xena's mom were sisters, especially considering how different they were. It seemed like Athena got all the Mom genes, though, and Eris.well, Eris knew how to have a good time, he had to give her that. So she wasn't that good at stuff like remembering dates and baking cakes; he'd gotten used to that a long time ago, and it didn't really bother him that she didn't call on his birthday or send him a card.

Cupid, on the other hand, was a different story.

It wasn't like they'd talked about it or anything; in fact, Strife was pretty sure Cupid had never even asked him when his birthday was. But Cupid was the type who wouldn't ask directly, because he'd want to find out on his own and make as big a deal out of it as possible. He'd want to find a million and one ways to embarrass Strife, all in the name of making sure that he knew Cupid was crazy about him. At least that was what he'd been picturing for the past few weeks, even if he'd never let himself admit it until now.

He hadn't been expecting a brass band marching through their bedroom or a pile of presents, but he'd expected *something*. Something more than a quick kiss and a 'see you later', anyway. A simple 'happy birthday' would have been more than he'd gotten for the past fourteen years, and not even getting an acknowledgement from the person who was supposed to love him more than anybody else in the world...well, frankly it was kind of depressing. He didn't want to be bothered by it, but he couldn't shake that nagging disappointed feeling that crept over him the second Cupid announced he was spending the day with Psyche and Auto.

They were probably in New Jersey by now, hanging out at Psyche's parents' mansion or something. Or maybe they were hanging out at Cupid's mom's place, eating homemade food and laughing about all the crazy stuff they'd done together in high school. Meanwhile all he had to look forward to was another boring rehearsal, and even with their new guitarist his heart wasn't really in the band anymore. He wasn't sure how to tell the others; he wasn't even sure if he should, because chances were he'd get over it in a couple months. But today he'd kind of hoped that Cupid would stick around and talk him into blowing off rehearsal. He didn't even care what they did, although part of him had his heart set on spending most of it in bed.

That wasn't going to happen, though, so he just had to get over it. It was just another birthday, and maybe it was his own fault for not dropping a few hints. Or he could have just told Cupid outright that it was his birthday and he'd been kind of hoping they could spend it together. That seemed way too desperate, though, and there was no way he was going to beg Cupid to hang out with him. If he needed to go cheer up Auto then Strife wasn't going to stand in his way.

Besides, it wasn't like Cupid's birthday, which his parents had made a huge deal out of. They'd thrown a big, dopey party at Dite's house with cake and ice cream and streamers, and then Ares and Joxer had thrown a little dinner just for the four of them. That had been right after they moved in together; maybe with all the excitement Cupid had just forgotten that Strife's birthday wasn't that long after his. Still, Joxer should have remembered, shouldn't he? He'd remembered every year Strife could remember, even though he usually just sent some dopey card with a twenty dollar check inside. So far he hadn't even called, but maybe he was just waiting until after work or something.

Still, if Joxer remembered he would have told Ares, and Ares would have at least invited them to dinner, wouldn't he? Which meant he'd have to tell Cupid, and then Cupid would know it was his birthday. No matter how hard he tried to explain it to himself he kept coming back to the same thought; Cupid had forgotten all about it. It was the only thing that made sense, and even though Strife couldn't really blame him it still hurt. The fact that *no one* had remembered hurt even worse, but he sure as hell wasn't going to make a big deal out of it just to get a little sympathy. He'd just pretend he hadn't even noticed, and then when they all remembered he'd let them make it up to him.

He told himself that was the best approach as he picked up his keys and let himself out of the loft. If nobody was going to remember his birthday he wasn't going to pout about it until they felt sorry for him; he'd never let anybody feel sorry for him before, and he wasn't about to start now. He and Cupid had a good thing going, and if it wasn't perfect that just meant it was more real. Cupid loved him, and that was the important thing. So maybe he wasn't as good at stuff like birthdays and anniversaries as it seemed like he would be; he was still the best boyfriend Strife had ever had, and their relationship was a lot more solid than he ever would have thought it could be.

He told himself over and over again that was all that mattered; on the train ride to the club where they were rehearsing, and on the walk from the subway station to the club itself. By the time he got there it had become like a mantra, and he was so caught up in listening to the words repeating themselves over and over in his head that he barely noticed the rest of the band watching him.

"Earth to Strife," Iolaus said, finally jolting him out of his reverie. He flinched and looked up, squinting in the darkness of the club as all three of them smirked at him. "Dude, you okay?"

"Just peachy," Strife muttered as he climbed onto the stage and took his place behind the microphone. For once he was thankful that being lead singer meant he could keep his back to the rest of them without looking suspicious. The last thing he needed was for Iolaus or Xena to figure out what was bothering him; at least without Hercules there he didn't have to worry about getting laughed at for being a baby, but he didn't really need to make a big scene in front of Apollo.

He felt someone at his elbow a moment before a hand landed on his shoulder, and he suppressed another flinch as he looked up to find Iolaus watching him. "Seriously, man, is something wrong? You don't look so hot."

"Gee, thanks," Strife shot back, his mouth twisting into the sneer he usually reserved for stage performances. "So are we rehearsin' or what?"

He saw Xena and Iolaus exchange a look out of the corner of his eye, but he ignored it and focused his attention on adjusting and readjusting the microphone. He knew they'd jump to their own conclusions about what was bothering him, but as long as they didn't get close to the truth he didn't really care what they thought. Let them think he'd had a fight with Cupid; it would be close enough to the truth, and anyway he wasn't planning to talk to either of them about it. All he really wanted to do was get rehearsal over with so he could go home and wait for Cupid to get back from New Jersey. He had no idea what happened after that, but it had to be better than making himself miserable over something that didn't even matter.



Auto wasn't stupid. Maybe he wasn't great at school, but he wasn't a total moron. So he knew what was going on even if Psyche and Cupid thought he was too dumb to figure it out. He knew right away when they'd tried to set him up the first time, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that they were doing it again. Neither of them had actually mentioned Iolaus' name, but Auto knew they wouldn't throw Strife a birthday party without inviting the band. Not to mention that Iolaus was one of Strife's best friends, unless a lot had changed in the two months that Auto had been more or less out of the loop.

The fact that they thought he was dumb enough not to figure that out was a little insulting, but what was worse was the fact that they were trying to set him up. Again. And with the same guy as last time, which meant they couldn't even be bothered to find somebody new to hook him up with. He didn't bother to mention it, though, because he knew exactly what they'd say if he did. They'd tell him that none of this had anything to do with Iolaus; that they wanted him at the party because he was their friend. And maybe that was partly true, but they couldn't deny that they'd gone to an awful lot of trouble to make sure he got there.

That was the only explanation for why they were in Psyche's parents' living room instead of back at Cupid's place setting up for the party. He knew they'd insisted on coming down to get him because they figured it was the best way to guarantee that he'd actually show up; it didn't have anything to do with 'old times' or spending an afternoon catching up. At first he'd thought about refusing to meet them, but the last thing he wanted was for his friends to show up at his house unexpectedly. It had only happened once in all the years he'd known Psyche, but even though she knew better he wouldn't put it past her to push her luck this time. She and Cupid got a little crazy when they were playing matchmaker, and he wasn't about to take any chances.

"You aren't even listening, are you?"

It took a second for the words to sink in, but when they did he looked over to find Psyche and Cupid both staring at him. "What?"

Psyche rolled her eyes and tried again. "I knew you were totally zoning. If you'd been listening you'd know that the band's playing a show next weekend. I thought we could all go together. You know, like old times."

He resisted the urge to point out that just because Cupid and Psyche had turned into groupies didn't mean he wanted to. He knew how they'd take that, and anyway he didn't have the energy to start a fight. "Can't. Sorry."

"Why not?"

"I've got some stuff going on next weekend," he answered, shifting restlessly on the leather couch. They'd been hanging out in Psyche's parents house for almost an hour, and he was starting to wonder whether or not they were ever going to head to the city. Not that he was really looking forward to the party, but the sooner they got there the sooner he could make up some excuse and get the hell out again. "So are we going or what?"

He saw them exchange a glance out of the corner of his eye, but he ignored it and stood up. It wasn't that he really minded hanging out with them; in fact, he'd sort of missed the days when they had nothing to do but hang around at Psyche's house and stare at the walls. He wasn't interested in their pity, though, and that was exactly what it felt like whenever he talked to either of them lately. There wasn't even any reason to feel sorry for him; he was fine, he had a decent job and just as soon as he saved up enough money he'd get the hell out of Neptune and never look back. Just because they had help getting a leg up didn't mean they had any reason to feel sorry for him.

If he looked back he knew he'd see Psyche eyeing him suspiciously, probably trying to decide the best way to get him to admit he didn't really have anything to do the next weekend. That wasn't strictly true, but if he really wanted to he could probably make it into the city for the show. The point was that he didn't want to, though, so he kept his gaze focused resolutely ahead as he led them through the foyer.

"In a hurry for some reason?" Cupid asked, and Auto glanced over at him just in time to catch his smirk.

"No, I just wanna get you back to the city before you give yourself a heart attack." It came out more harshly than he'd planned, but he wasn't going to take it back or start apologizing after listening to Cupid whine about Strife for an hour. He wasn't going to give either of them a chance to bring up Iolaus either, although he knew they were probably dying to.

Getting thrown together with Iolaus was the last thing he wanted, but he wasn't about to run scared just because his friends were stupid enough to think they could fix him up with the same guy twice. Part of him wanted to call them on it and suggest they find some other single friend to pawn him off on, but lately practically everything he said came out wrong and he didn't want them to think he was mad. He wasn't, not really; okay, part of him was kind of pissed that they kept going behind his back to fix him up, but he knew how couples were about stuff like that so he wasn't really surprised. Besides, after he spent the entire party ignoring the fact that Iolaus was in the room they'd get the picture, and then he could go back to his life without worrying about who they were going to try to fix him up with next.

~

"This music is atrocious."

"It was the least offensive CD I could find," Joxer said, grinning at Ares' horrified expression. "They all have names I don't recognize like Meat Puppets and Korn."

"Corn?"

"With a K. I suppose we should be impressed that they displayed that much imagination."

Ares' features finally relaxed into a smile as he leaned down to plant a quick kiss on Joxer's lips. When he pulled away he looked up to find Xena grinning at them, a roll of streamers in one hand and a roll of tape in the other.

"Finished," she announced, her smile brightening a little when Ares raised an eyebrow at her. "I did the bedroom too. I figured Cupid deserved a little surprise too."

Ares grimaced and took the streamers and tape she held out, turning his back on Xena and Joxer to put them in the box of party supplies he'd left in the kitchen.

"He's kind of uptight, isn't he?" Xena whispered to Joxer once he was out of earshot.

"Be nice," Joxer answered, but he couldn't quite stifle a grin. "He's still getting used to the idea of Cupid being grown up enough for all.this."

"You mean shacking up with Strife," she deadpanned.

"Still diplomatic as ever," Joxer answered, shaking his head and grinning at her. "It's good to see you again, Xena."

"You too, Jox. You know it's a shame you've lived here all these years and we never got together."

"I would have liked to, but your mother's not exactly my biggest fan."

"It's not you," Xena said, smiling apologetically at the mention of her mother, "it's Strife's dad. She doesn't really think much of him."

"It extends to the rest of the family by default, I'm afraid. Not that I don't understand where she's coming from. Eris is her sister, she has her loyalties."

"How is Aunt Eris, anyway? Mom never hears from her."

"Can't say I do, either. I saw her briefly when Strife and I went back to Michigan to see his father, but we didn't talk much. She looks about the same."

Xena grinned at that but didn't comment; she knew that was Joxer's way of being polite, but she knew what her aunt was like. It was hard to believe Eris and her mother grew up in the same house, but even though they were complete opposites they'd always been close in their own way. That was the only reason she and Strife had stayed in touch over the years; if it hadn't been for her mother dragging her out to Michigan every so often to visit Eris, Xena and Strife probably wouldn't even know each other. She couldn't imagine what that would be like; she had him to thank for Psyche, in a way, and that alone was enough to make her willing to help out with as many surprise parties as Cupid wanted to throw.

It was the reason she'd made up a story about having to go to campus to see about financial aid just before she'd skipped out of rehearsal early, and it was the reason she was helping Joxer and Ares decorate the loft for the party. She wasn't sure what Iolaus was doing to keep Strife away from home, but she was pretty sure he'd find a way to stall for a few hours. He had to, or Strife would beat Cupid home and then the whole surprise would be ruined.

As soon as she thought it the door opened, and her heart stopped until she saw that it was just Cupid, Psyche and a miserable looking Auto. She let out an embarrassed sigh of relief and smiled as she watched Psyche cross the room. "Hi," she said when the other girl stopped next to her. "What's with Auto? He looks like his dog just died."

Psyche rolled her eyes and glanced behind her long enough to take in the fact that Auto was still standing just inside the door, looking even sulkier than he had on the train. "I have no idea. He doesn't want to be here, that's for sure. Between him and Cupid stressing about Strife it's been a really long day so far."

"Why's Cupid stressing about Strife? He's gonna love this."

"Something about the look on his face this morning when Cupe didn't mention his birthday," Psyche answered, lowering her voice and glancing over to the kitchen where Cupid was talking to Ares and Joxer. "He's been miserable all day about the fact that Strife thinks he forgot."

"Guess I shouldn't tell him how pissy Strife was during rehearsal, then." Xena tried and failed to swallow a smirk, stealing a glance at Cupid just in time to see Ares place a consoling hand on his shoulder. "One thing's for sure, Strife's definitely going to be surprised."

~

As birthdays went, Strife had had worse. His friends had blown off his birthday plenty of times and he'd never really thought anything of it, because it wasn't like he remembered theirs either. He'd never sent Xena a card - in fact, he wasn't even sure when her birthday was. So it wasn't as though he really expected any of them to remember, much less do anything about it. And okay, so Joxer hadn't called yet, but he hadn't been home most of the day so it was possible he'd just missed it. Or maybe Joxer was waiting until tonight, when he was sure Strife would be around. And it was obvious he was going to be around, because if Cupid didn't know it was his birthday he wouldn't be planning to take Strife out.

He spent most of the day trying to talk himself out of caring about it one way or the other, but by the time they finally left the club he knew it was a losing battle. He didn't mind the fact that Xena wanted to cut rehearsal short; he would have been more than happy to go home and spend the rest of the day brooding by himself, but Iolaus had insisted that they stay and help Apollo catch up on the songs he didn't know that well yet. Maybe if he hadn't already been in such a bad mood he wouldn't have minded, but by the time Iolaus finally declared Apollo good enough to perform at their next show Strife was ready to kill both of them. All he wanted to do was ditch them both, go home to the empty loft, and not think about his birthday until Cupid finally showed up.

It wasn't so much to ask; it was his birthday, after all, and if he wanted to spend it by himself then he should have been able to. So he wasn't sure why exactly he'd said okay when Iolaus more or less invited himself over, but the longer he listened to Apollo and Iolaus going back and forth about the bridge on one of their songs the more he wished he'd made up some excuse and gone home alone. Iolaus claimed that he just wanted to pick up tapes of their old shows for Apollo to hear, but Strife had a feeling that once they got there it would be hard to get rid of them. That was just the way his luck was going today, and there was no reason to think it was going to change once they got back to the loft.

"I thought Herc had all the old tapes," he said suddenly, although he knew that even if it was true Iolaus wouldn't drag Apollo over to Herc's place to get them. He was still pissed about having to quit the band, and if Strife knew Herc at all he'd hate Apollo just for taking his place.

"If he did he probably doesn't have them anymore," Iolaus answered as the train pulled into the stop.

"Doesn't Xena have 'em?"

"She's only got the newest ones. I'm talking about the ones from when Iphicles was still in the band." Iolaus frowned over his shoulder at Strife as they started up the stairs to the sidewalk. "What's the matter with you? You've been acting weird all day."

"Nothin'. Would you quit askin' me that? That's like the twentieth time today."

"Alright. Sorry," Iolaus muttered. For a second Strife almost felt guilty, but he shook it off and told himself that he had a right to be in a bad mood if he wanted. Besides, Iolaus would forget all about it as soon as he got his tapes, and then Strife could kick them both out and finally get a little time alone. When they reached the dojo he dug his keys out of his pocket and let them in the door that led directly to the loft, leading Iolaus and Apollo up the narrow stairs to the door at the top.

He tried the handle, expecting to find it still locked, but it turned easily and his heart skipped a beat when he realized that meant Cupid was already home. For a second he considered telling Iolaus to fuck off, but they were already here and as long as he found the tapes fast he could get rid of them quickly.

When he pushed the door open he stopped short, too stunned by the sight in front of him to remember that Iolaus and Apollo were still standing behind him. He heard the shouts of 'surprise!' and felt Iolaus laugh and clap him on the shoulder, but he missed whatever Iolaus said as he brushed past Strife into the living room. He didn't notice Apollo stepping around him either, because all his attention was focused on the blond standing in the middle of their living room.

A second later Cupid was standing right in front of him, and even though Strife couldn't remember seeing him move he was too stunned to care. He felt Cupid's arms slide around him to pull him close, his own arms sliding around Cupid's waist automatically. "Jesus, Cupe," he murmured into the other boy's hair, "I shoulda known."

And he should have; the second he walked into the loft and saw all their friends waiting for him he knew he should have known that Cupid would do something like this. If he'd stopped feeling sorry for himself long enough to think about it he might have even figured it out, but he'd been too busy assuming that this year would be exactly like every other birthday he'd ever had.

"Does that mean you forgive me?" Cupid asked, pulling back far enough to meet Strife's gaze.

"Fer what?" Strife frowned at the question, still oblivious to the fact that there was anyone else in the room aside from the two of them.

"For this morning. You have no idea how much I wanted to come right back and tell you everything."

Instantly Strife felt even worse about the way he'd been acting all day, but before he got a chance to answer he felt a hand on his shoulder and then Cupid was being pulled away from him. "Hey, you two, this isn't a private party," Joxer said, grinning at the annoyed look that got him. "You're going to have to say hello to the rest of your guests or they'll start thinking they aren't welcome."

He let Joxer drag him into a hug, his head still swimming as he looked over his uncle's shoulder at his friends. Part of him was horrified that they'd actually managed to keep him completely in the dark about something this big, but he was too overwhelmed to spend too much time kicking himself. Besides, there was plenty of time for that later, right after he finished thanking Cupid every way he could think of.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While everybody crowded around Strife, Cupid took the opportunity to get a good look at Apollo. He'd heard plenty about his guitar playing skills from Strife, but so far Cupid hadn't met him. Strife hadn't mentioned how good-looking Apollo was, and Cupid wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not. There was no way Strife hadn't noticed it, after all - it wasn't even a value judgment, there was no denying that he was attractive.

Not that Cupid was worried. He knew Strife loved him, and that wasn't going to change just because there was a hot guy in the band. They had a whole life together, a life they were happy with. It still amazed Cupid how quickly they'd gotten used to being together all the time; he'd never expected to be this happy, especially before he even started college.

"Hey, you really pulled it off."

Cupid tore his gaze away from Apollo long enough to return Psyche's grin. "Yeah, I guess so."

"Come on, Cupe, he loved it. Look at him."

He glanced at Strife again, grinning at his slightly shell-shocked but very happy expression. He still felt bad about making Strife miserable for most of the day, but he was planning to make it up to him as soon as they were alone. "Yeah, he does look pretty happy."

"Of course he does. He's got you, doesn't he? You guys are so cute it's disgusting."

"We are not."

"Oh, you so are," she said, laughing when he scowled at her. "Ask anybody. Ask Auto, you know he'll tell you the truth."

At the mention of their friend Cupid scanned the room again, frowning when he spotted Auto leaning against a windowsill in the far corner of the living room. A few months ago he would have agreed with Psyche that Auto would be the first person to tell him the truth, but lately he wasn't so sure. "What's with him, anyway? He's barely said a word since he got here."

She shrugged and glanced at Auto just in time to watch him sigh and turn to look out the window. "I don't know. I mean I guess it might be weird to see Iolaus again, especially since he brought a date."

"Date? That's not a date, that's the new guitarist," Cupid said, frowning as he sought out Apollo again, only to find him leaning down to catch whatever Iolaus was saying to him. "Did Xena tell you they were dating?"

"No. I just figured he was Iolaus' date; they've been practically glued to each other since they walked in. So that's Apollo, huh? Xena's mentioned him."

"Yeah? What does she think of him?" Cupid asked, forcing his gaze away from Iolaus and Apollo. He had to admit that he'd wondered whether Apollo was straight or not, but he'd never thought about it in terms of Iolaus. As far as he knew Iolaus wasn't looking for anything steady, and dating the new guitarist would just make things in the band kind of complicated. If that was what was going on Strife would have told him, wouldn't he?

"Well she hasn't said much. Just that he's some guy Iolaus knows from somewhere, and that he can play. That's all she cares about."

"She didn't say where they met?"

"No," Psyche answered, turning to frown at him. "But Strife would know, wouldn't he?"

"Yeah, I guess. He hasn't really said much about it." Cupid glanced across the room at Strife, but he was deep in a conversation with Joxer about something that looked serious. He hated himself for thinking it, but he hoped they weren't already planning another trip to see Strife's father. The last one had only lasted a few days, but when Strife got back he'd been in a weird funk for over a week before he finally snapped out of it. Ever since then he hadn't mentioned his dad much, and Cupid didn't really want to have to go through that again any time soon.

He was too busy berating himself for being the most selfish person alive to notice Xena walking toward them, but when he heard her laughter he shook himself and tore his gaze away from Joxer and Strife. "You know, for somebody who just pulled off a major surprise you don't look very happy."

"Sorry, I was just thinking about something," Cupid said, working up the most convincing grin he could. "Say, Xena, you don't know where Iolaus met Apollo, do you?"

She shook her head and glanced across the room at the two of them, still laughing over something as though there was no one else in the room. "I think at some show. One of the clubs, I guess. Why?"

"You sure it wasn't a gay club?"

"Pretty sure. I think Iolaus said something about the band that was playing when they met, so I assumed it was a punk club. Wait, you don't think there's something going on with them, do you?" She laughed and glanced at Psyche and then back at Cupid. "You guys, come on. Iolaus and 'Pol? No way."

"It's not that crazy, is it?" Cupid asked. "I mean look at them, they've hardly said two words to anybody else since they got here. And Iolaus hasn't even looked at Auto. Wasn't that the whole reason you wanted him here so bad?"

"Well maybe if he'd stop holding up that wall long enough to say hi to somebody." All three of them looked toward Auto, but he was still staring out the window like he was considering how hurt he'd get if he jumped.

Cupid let out a heavy sigh; entertaining Auto wasn't exactly the reason he'd thrown this party, but Strife was still busy with Joxer and he was the one who'd insisted Auto come. "I'll see if I can get him to loosen up a little," he said, taking a short detour into the kitchen to sneak a couple beers past his father before he crossed to the window Auto was leaning against.

Auto looked up when Cupid stopped next to him, something flickering in his eyes for a second before he forced a grin. "Hey, Cupe. Great party."

Cupid shook his head and handed him a beer. "Yeah, you seem like you're having a great time."

A derisive snort escaped Auto's throat, and he just managed to avoid choking on a mouthful of beer. He reached up with his free hand and wiped his mouth, swallowing before he answered. "Look, Cupe, no offense or anything, but it's not like this is really my scene. It's one thing when it's just you, me, and Psyche, but I don't know the rest of these guys."

"Sure you do. You know Strife, and my dad, and Xena."

"Strife hates me."

"He does not," Cupid answered automatically, but he couldn't help glancing across the room at Strife. He'd never come right out and said he hated Auto, but they hadn't exactly gotten off on the right foot, and even though they tolerated each other now Cupid knew they were probably never going to be best friends. "What makes you think he hates you?"

"Cupe, come on. He hasn't liked me since he first laid eyes on me. I know, I know," he added when Cupid opened his mouth to argue, "I didn't exactly like him at first sight either. But sometimes things like that just don't go away. I know it's nothing personal, but I don't exactly belong at his birthday party, either."

"Of course you do," Cupid said, wishing suddenly that he'd made a little more of an effort to include Auto in his life now that he lived in the city. They'd spent practically all their time together when they were still in school, but he'd let the excitement of moving to the city and his relationship with Strife take over pretty much his whole life. He hadn't really stopped to think about how it effected Auto, at least not beyond wishing he'd find something that would make him happy so Cupid wouldn't have to worry about him. "You're my friend, aren't you? Besides you know other people here. Psyche, Xena. Iolaus."

He felt Auto tense at the mention of Iolaus' name, but a second later he forced himself to relax and took another long swallow of beer. "Look, Cupe, I'm not trying to be a drag here. If I'd thought I was going to bring down your good time I wouldn't have come. You don't have to worry about me, you know."

"I'm not, it's just."

"Seriously, Cupe, just drop it." For a second Auto's eyes clouded and Cupid thought he might actually be mad enough to start a fight, but he shook it off and nodded toward the center of the room. "Besides, the birthday boy's looking for you."

Sure enough, when he looked up Strife was scanning the room, and as soon as their eyes met he broke into a bright grin. He pushed himself off the windowsill and set his beer down next to Auto's, glancing at his friend one last time before he walked away. He hoped he conveyed what he wasn't saying with the look - *this isn't over, and we're going to talk about it whether you like it or not* - but he couldn't be sure from Auto's blank expression whether or not he'd gotten the point. Finally he shrugged and did his best to shake off the sinking feeling that he was letting one of his best friends down.

~

Auto watched Cupid walk away, stopping when he reached Strife and sliding his arm around the smaller man's waist. They turned toward the kitchen where Cupid's father was fussing over the cake, and Auto let out a heavy sigh when he realized he was going to have to stick around at least until they sang the obligatory round of 'Happy Birthday'. What he really wanted to do was go home.well, maybe not home, because he wasn't exactly thrilled about that thought either. But somewhere other than here would be good, preferably somewhere they served plenty of booze and didn't ask a lot of questions. He knew he didn't belong here, no matter what Cupid said. Maybe he knew everybody in the room, but that didn't mean he was a part of the weird family Cupid and Strife were creating.

Then again, he didn't know *everybody* in the room; he had no idea who the hot blond was, but he'd definitely noticed that he hadn't left Iolaus' side since they walked in together. And he couldn't believe Iolaus had showed up with a date, especially after what Xena had said about the way he'd been going through guys. Auto was okay with the fact that Iolaus didn't want to see him again as long as they were both alone, but when he walked in with the blond god.it was insulting. And yeah, maybe he was a little too golden, a little too California-surfer to be for real, but even that didn't make Auto feel any better. The point was that even Iolaus was moving on with his life, and Auto was still treading water.

He started edging toward the door, daring himself to try sneaking out. He doubted anyone would even notice until long after he was gone, and by the time Cupid called he'd have had plenty of time to come up with a decent lie. He was almost at the door when an arm slid through his, and he swallowed a groan and looked down to find Psyche watching him.

"At least stay for cake."

"Psyche."

"Come on, you came all the way into the city, you might as well have some cake. It'll make Cupe happy, and once he's all wrapped up in Strife we can bail and go get some real food."

"I'm not playing third wheel on another one of your dates."

"No date. Just you and me, like old times. What do you say?"

He wanted to say no. He had a feeling she was passing up a chance to spend time with Xena, and he knew he should let her off the hook. Still, it sounded so nice, and when he'd showed up at her place the other night it had been exactly what he'd been looking for. He just wanted somebody to talk to, someone who understood him and wouldn't try to make him feel weird about all the stuff ratting around in his brain. He was sick of being alone with his thoughts, and when Psyche offered like that he couldn't bring himself to pass it up. "Yeah, alright."

"Great," she said, beaming up at him. For a second he could almost believe that she really wanted to spend the evening hanging out with him; he knew it wasn't true, but he was going to hang onto the lie for as long as he could.

She dragged him toward the kitchen where everybody else was already gathered, and he braced himself for an off-key rendition of 'Happy Birthday'. He mouthed along half-heartedly when Psyche elbowed him, scanning the rest of the group while all their attention was focused on Strife. Everybody was coupled up - everyone but him, of course, and he couldn't even get mad about it, because if he did he'd have to explain why.

He tried not to look at Iolaus; he tried staring at Strife, then Cupid, and finally the blond guy he didn't know, but it was hard to ignore the fact that Iolaus was standing right next to Blondie. Finally he gave in and looked over, flinching when he found Iolaus staring right back at him.

Iolaus' lips twitched into a self-conscious sort-of-smile, and when he lifted one hand in an awkward wave Auto suddenly felt more stupid than ever for letting the whole situation get to him. They didn't even know each other, not really. So they'd fucked, it wasn't like that meant anything. And the worst part was that it wasn't even the fact that Iolaus had a new guy that was bothering him; what really bugged him was that he was the only one in the room who couldn't seem to get his shit together, and everybody else knew it. Hell, even Iolaus was probably feeling sorry for him now, and the last thing Auto wanted was anybody's pity.

He managed a tight smile just as the song ended, and he forced his attention back to the happy couple as Cupid helped Strife cut the cake. Anyone would think they'd just gotten married with the way they were acting, and he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest while he waited for the cake to be served so he could get out of there. He ignored the tug of guilt that went along with wanting to ditch Cupid; it wasn't his fault his best friend had gone and fallen for somebody who didn't like him, after all, and it wasn't like Auto really wanted to fit in. Hanging around with them just reminded him of how different their lives were from his, and that was something he could stand to live without.

He took the piece of cake Psyche shoved toward him, barely catching it before it ended up all over his shirt. She didn't notice his scowl, though, because she was already caught up in an animated conversation with Strife, Cupid and Xena. He rolled his eyes at the happy foursome and took a couple steps backwards only to nearly drop his cake again when he collided with something warm and solid.

"Sorry," he muttered, but when he turned around and saw who he'd collided with his heart skipped a beat. It just figured that he'd managed to trip over Iolaus, especially when he'd almost made it through the party without actually talking to him.

"Don't worry about it," Iolaus said. He shifted his weight a little uncomfortably, and Auto found himself wishing the floor would open up and swallow him. It was bad enough that he'd been brooding through the whole party, but judging from the expression on Iolaus' face he probably thought Auto was brooding about *him*. Which wasn't even close to the truth; not really, anyway. "So, uh.how've you been?"

"Not bad," Auto answered. He could live through a couple minutes of small talk with somebody he'd slept with. Granted, he usually didn't sleep with people he planned to see again, but it wasn't that big a deal. They were both adults, sort of, and he could get through this. "Working, you know how it is."

"Yeah, sure." Iolaus nodded and glanced down at the floor between them for a second, and Auto wondered what would happen if he turned around and walked away without another word. Sure, it would be kind of rude, but it wasn't like he was ever planning to talk to Iolaus again after this conversation was over. Iolaus would probably be grateful if he looked up again and found Auto gone; at least he wouldn't have to come up with something else to say. "Where do you work?"

Too late Auto decided to go for it, and he caught himself in mid-step when Iolaus looked up at him again. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight less than gracefully, hoping that Iolaus wouldn't catch on that he'd been about to take off. "An auto shop in Neptune. Manny's. Changing oil, tune-ups, that kind of thing."

"Oh yeah? I used to work at my old man's service station before we moved out here," Iolaus said. His eyes lit up for a second and Auto's stomach lurched; he told himself he was just having a delayed reaction to drinking beer on an empty stomach, but he couldn't deny the fact that he was still attracted to the other man. Not that it meant anything; he was attracted to a lot of people, people he didn't even know. He was only eighteen, after all, and his hormones were still out of control. The fact that he knew how Iolaus kissed and what his mouth felt like on Auto's dick didn't have anything to do with it.

"It's pretty decent work," Auto answered idiotically, stopping just short of rolling his eyes at himself as he heard the words escape his mouth. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this awkward; not since long before he met Psyche, and they'd been friends forever. "Beats school, anyway."

"Yeah, I guess so," Iolaus said, his grin lighting up his features and making Auto wish he'd bailed on the party when he had the chance. "So are you gonna make the show next weekend?"

Auto was pretty sure he was just making conversation, but he couldn't quite ignore the little thrill that ran through him at the question. It didn't necessarily mean that Iolaus cared whether or not he was at the show, but it had been awhile since he really felt like anybody wanted him around for anything, and he had to admit it felt kind of good. "Yeah, maybe," he heard himself answer, wondering as soon as the words left his mouth how he was going to explain that one to Psyche when he'd already told her he couldn't make it.

It was worth any lie he had to tell when Iolaus smiled at him, though. He had a feeling it was a bad idea to let himself care whether or not Iolaus wanted him around, but it was way too late to start being practical now.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cupid set the last of the dishes next to the sink and leaned against the counter. He watched his father washing dishes for a few minutes before he cleared his throat, smirking when Ares looked over at him. "You know, I could do those."

"Almost done," Ares answered, lifting the last of the dishes into the soapy water. "Besides, if I leave it to you these will still be sitting here days from now."

"That's not true and you know it. Maybe I would have left them 'til tomorrow, but that's it."

He laughed when Ares frowned and finished rinsing the last dish. "Well, they're done now."

"Good. So.I appreciate your help and all, but do you think you and Joxer could get out now?"

Cupid could tell Ares didn't see the humor in the request, but before his father could answer Joxer appeared at his elbow. "Ares, we should probably get going."

Ares opened his mouth and then closed it again, then glanced at Joxer and nodded. "It appears we've worn out our welcome anyway."

"Dad, come on."

Ares turned back to Cupid long enough to flash him a wry grin. "It's alright, son. But next time you can do your own dishes."

Cupid was still laughing when Strife shut the door behind the two older men and leaned against it. "Finally. I was startin' ta think they'd never leave."

He watched as Cupid pushed himself off the counter and crossed the room, stopping in front of Strife and bracing his hands on either side of his shoulders. "It was a party. I sort of had to invite other people."

"Yeah, I know, Cupe, and I appreciate the thought, really. But how 'bout next year we keep it ta just me an' you?"

Next year.for a second Cupid's heart stopped, and when it started again it was beating in double time. Sure, he thought about the future, but only in vague terms. He thought about spring semester and whether or not he should take a class next summer, but he never let himself wonder if they'd still be together then. To hear Strife mention his next birthday so casually was a little scary, but it was exactly what he'd been hoping to hear since Strife first told him he loved him.

"Whatever you want," he answered when he found his voice again. "I'm sorry, if I'd known."

"Cupe, it's okay. Nobody's ever thrown me a party before. But I don't need a bunch a presents or a cake or any a that stuff. We coulda just spent the day in bed an' it woulda been the best birthday I ever had."

Cupid's heart clenched at the thought of Strife's birthdays up to now, and he leaned forward and buried his face in the other man's hair so Strife wouldn't see his expression and guess what he was thinking. "Well, what are you doing tomorrow?"

Strife chuckled low in his throat and slid his hands under Cupid's shirt. "Anythin' ya want."

"You know what I want right now?" Cupid asked, pulling back far enough to brush his lips across Strife's cheek.

"Ta go ta bed?"

Cupid laughed against Strife's skin, his hands leaving the door to slide under Strife's shirt. "I guess I could give you your present in bed."

"Present? I thought the party."

"A party's not a present," Cupid interrupted, pressing a soft kiss to Strife's lips before he could argue. "Come on, it's in the bedroom anyway."

"Cupe, I already got enough stuff," Strife said, but he let Cupid pull him toward the bedroom anyway. "How come ya waited 'til after the party? I thought presents were part a the whole party thing."

Cupid grinned over his shoulder and tugged Strife through the doorway. He stopped when they reached the bed, pulling Strife close for a lingering kiss before he pushed him down to sit on the edge of the bed. "It's kind of.well, I didn't know how you'd feel about opening it in front of everybody."

He reached behind the bed and pulled out his gift, ignoring the last-minute rush of nerves. It was too late to start worrying now whether or not Strife was going to like it; besides, it had taken him weeks to think up the right present, and he knew he'd like it. Well, mostly he'd spent the past few weeks just hoping Strife wouldn't laugh in his face, but that was as close to sure as he figured he was going to get.

He sat down next to Strife and handed him the present, suddenly feeling shy as he watched the other man slide his finger under the wrapping and slowly pull it apart. Strife dropped the paper on the floor and held up the simple black frame, frowning at it for a second before he shot a bemused glance at Cupid. "Ya had one a the show flyers framed?"

"Not just *a* flyer," Cupid answered, leaning over Strife's shoulder to look at the framed flyer. He'd looked at it so many times that he could recite the type from memory, and while some of the fold marks still showed they'd done a pretty good job of flattening it at the frame shop. "I've had this thing as long as I've known you. It's the flyer from the show where I first saw you."

Strife's eyes were wide when he looked at Cupid again, but he wasn't laughing so Cupid decided to take it as a good sign. "Ya mean.wow, Cupe."

"It's kinda lame, I know. That's why I waited until everybody was gone."

"It's not.I mean I'm glad ya waited, but it's not lame."

"Then why are you glad I waited?"

"'Cause," Strife began, setting his birthday present down on the floor before he turned back to the younger man, "if everybody was here then I couldn'ta done this."

He pushed Cupid down onto the bed, landing on top of him and settling between his legs. Cupid grinned up at him, but before he could say anything he caught a hint of color out of the corner of his eye and looked up. As soon as he realized what it was he laughed, pointing to the ceiling when Strife raised an eyebrow at him. "Looks like Xena's been busy."

Strife glanced over his shoulder, rolling his eyes when he saw the crepe paper streamers criss-crossing their ceiling. "Who let her in our bedroom?"

"That would be Joxer," Cupid answered as he slid his hands under Strife's shirt. "So.you like it? The present, I mean."

"Yer crazy, ya know," Strife said, leaning forward to press his lips to Cupid's. "I love it. I love you."

Cupid started to answer, but before he could get the words out Strife's mouth covered his again and he decided that talking wasn't really all that important after all. Strife liked his present, the party had gone pretty well and they had the rest of the night to celebrate in private. All that mattered was that they were together, and as far as Cupid was concerned that was the way it was going to stay.

~

Auto was still playing his conversation with Iolaus over in his head while he and Psyche waited for their food. And okay, it wasn't really much of a conversation, but it was enough to make him think. It wasn't like he was suddenly head over heels for Iolaus, after all, but still, it had been kind of.nice. He wasn't exactly sure what that meant, but at least it was a change from the way he'd been feeling almost constantly for the past couple months.

"Okay, I can't take it anymore. What's the deal?"

He looked up to find Psyche staring at him, realizing too late that he'd been grinning again. He almost managed to wipe the grin off his face, but his lips still twitched a little as he stared back at her. "What?"

"Please, this is me. Don't try the innocent routine, that only works for Cupe. You left innocent behind a long time ago, remember?"

"I seriously don't know what you're talking about," he answered, forcing his expression to go blank.

She rolled her eyes, but before she could answer the waitress appeared next to their booth and set two plates down in front of them. "Can I get you guys anything else?"

"Yeah, a clue would be good," Psyche muttered, and Auto couldn't help laughing at the glare she shot him.

"Sorry?"

"We're good," Auto told the waitress, choking back his laughter long enough to look at her. "Thanks."

As soon as she was gone he turned back to Psyche, raising one eyebrow as he watched her start picking the croutons out of her Caesar salad. "Why don't you just order it without croutons?"

"Because if you ask for a special order they just spit in your food for making them do extra work. Now stop avoiding the subject."

"Wouldn't that be less work for them, though? I mean if they didn't even have to put them in."

"Auto."

It had been awhile since he'd heard his name said in that tone; it was Psyche's 'cut the bullshit, I mean it' voice, and he'd learned over the years that when she looked at him like that she wasn't going to let it go. He let out a heavy sigh and leaned back in the booth, his burger and fries forgotten. "Fine. What do you want to know?"

"Why you've been grinning like an idiot since we left Cupid's place, for starters. Does this have anything to do with Iolaus?"

"What? No," he answered, but even he didn't believe that. He sounded way too defensive, for one thing, and he'd never been able to lie to Psyche. Not about anything important, anyway. "Why do you say that?"

"Come on, Auto. I saw you talking to him at Cupid's."

"He said hi, what was I supposed to do, ignore him?"

She rolled her eyes and waved her fork vaguely in front of her. "Don't avoid the subject. You did more than say hi; you guys were talking for awhile." She paused then, her expression softening as she let out a weary sigh. "We're best friends, right? You know you can tell me if you've got a thing for Iolaus. I mean it's not like anybody would blame you; he's pretty cute."

"I don't." He stopped long enough to glance around them, making sure nobody at the other tables was listening before he lowered his voice and continued. "I don't have a thing for him, okay? I mean yeah, he's a nice enough guy, and I wouldn't kick him out of bed or anything. But that doesn't mean I want to go steady."

"Why not?"

The question was so unexpected that for a second he just frowned at her, his mind racing for an answer she might buy. It should have been obvious, shouldn't it? He barely knew Iolaus, for one thing. Then there was the whole issue with the blond who'd been practically glued to him during the party.but Iolaus had asked him if he was going to be at their show next weekend, and part of him wanted to believe it wasn't just politeness that made him ask. "Well his date's one good reason. A very large, very blond reason."

"That wasn't a date," Psyche said, smiling when he raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. "You thought they were together? That's just Apollo, he's the new guitarist."

"So? That doesn't mean they aren't sleeping together. They sure seemed pretty tight at Cupe's place."

Psyche shrugged and reached for her beer, peering over the top of the glass at him for a second before she took a sip and set it down again. "So they're friends. He probably felt kind of weird about being at a party where he didn't know anybody, so he was sticking with Iolaus. It doesn't mean anything. Besides, if they were sleeping together Xena would know. She's with them all the time."

"Yeah, but she was just saying how worried she is about Iolaus picking up strange guys. So what makes you think he isn't screwing around with Apollo?"

"Because he's not," Psyche answered, and Auto couldn't decide from her expression whether or not she was sure or just acting that way to convince him. "Besides, even if he was, you just said it yourself; it would just be screwing around. It's not like they're serious, right? So if you like him."

"I told you, I don't have a thing for him," Auto interrupted, but he could feel the tips of his ears burning and he hoped she wouldn't notice. "It's not like we even talked. He asked how I was doing, I said okay, then he asked if I was gonna be at the show next weekend."

Her eyes lit up at the mention of the show, and Auto could have kicked himself for letting that slip. He hadn't had a chance to think up a reason for his sudden change of plans that she'd actually believe, and even if he had he wouldn't be able to lie to her face about the same thing twice in one day. "So what'd you say?"

"I told him I'd think about it."

Just for a second he saw a flash of hurt in her eyes; it barely lasted a second, but it was long enough to make him feel guilty. He knew he should have just told her the truth, that he didn't really want to go hang out at the show and be reminded of how different their lives were now. He'd never been any good at talking about stuff like that, though, and he definitely hadn't wanted to get into it in front of Cupid. It was bad enough that Psyche could see right through his act most of the time, he didn't need Cupid feeling sorry for him too.

"See? I told you," she said, her features lit up in a smile that was just a little too bright. "If there was anything going on between him and Apollo he wouldn't have asked you out."

"He didn't ask me out," Auto shot back, but he couldn't quite ignore the way his heart skipped a beat at the thought. "He was just.making conversation."

"Whatever you say," she said, her grin more genuine this time. He opened his mouth and then closed it again, swallowing a sigh as he told himself it was pointless to argue with her. She was going to believe what she wanted, and nothing he could say would make her change her mind. Besides, it wasn't like it would make any difference if Psyche thought Iolaus was interested in him; he knew the truth, and as long as he didn't forget it he'd be fine.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He knew their days of waking up like this were pretty much numbered, but Cupid wasn't thinking about that right now. He wasn't thinking about the start of school or getting up early or homework and jobs that would take up most of his free time. Right now all he was thinking about was the fact that they had the whole day together. They didn't even have to get out of bed if they didn't want to, and as far as Cupid was concerned there was no reason to go anywhere.

Strife shifted next to him and Cupid looked over. He smiled up at Strife while the other man ran his fingers through tousled blond hair, grinning at the mess of blond spikes sticking out at odd angles against the pillow. Cupid had a feeling he was sort of being laughed at, but he didn't really mind. There wasn't much that could ruin his mood, as a matter of fact, unless Strife suddenly announced that it had been fun but he had someplace to be.

But that wasn't going to happen, because spending the whole day together had been Strife's idea in the first place. If Cupid had known that was all Strife wanted for his birthday he would have cancelled the party in a second no matter how much Ares and Joxer complained. It had never dawned on him that Strife's idea of a perfect day might just be the two of them alone together; for him birthdays always meant family and presents and cake and lots of people around making lots of noise. That was the way it had always been in his family, but now that Strife mentioned it he couldn't think of a more perfect way to spend the day than exactly like this.

He reached up and caught Strife's hand, brushing his lips across the other man's knuckles. That made Strife smile even brighter for a second before he leaned down and caught Cupid's mouth against his. He could feel the curve of Strife's mouth against his own, still smiling when Cupid parted his lips and slid his tongue along Strife's bottom lip. He had no idea what time it was or how long they'd been stretched out together, alternating between long, deep kisses and drifting in and out of sleep, but when he heard Strife's stomach growl he knew they'd missed breakfast and most likely lunch.

His laugh broke the kiss, hot breath against Strife's mouth and then his cheek when he pulled away to grin down at Cupid. "Hungry?"

"Guess so," Strife answered, as though he was just now realizing that they hadn't had anything to eat since the party yesterday afternoon.

"I think there's still cake in the fridge. Or we could get dressed and walk down to the diner."

Strife shook his head and rolled onto his back again, turning his head to look at Cupid. "We could. Or we could order a pizza or somethin'. Too bad yer old man doesn't deliver."

Cupid laughed at that thought and craned his neck far enough to look at the clock. "I'd love to see his face if I called him and told him why we wanted him to bring us food. Besides, he's already downstairs. It's almost noon."

"Shit, really? I gotta call Xena before she leaves."

A second later Strife was climbing out of bed, and Cupid barely caught a glimpse of angular shoulders and pale skin before Strife was gone. He sighed and pushed himself up onto his elbows, staring at the entrance to the bedroom for a second before he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and forced himself up. He made a quick detour to the bathroom, laughing at the sight of his hair in the mirror, before he wandered into the kitchen to see what was in the fridge. Strife was already on the phone, leaning against the island in the middle of their kitchen with his back to the fridge. Cupid took a second to admire the curve of his neck before he pulled the fridge door open, grinning at the neatly wrapped packages of leftover party food.

"Hey, Dad left us leftovers," he said, pulling wrapped sandwiches and a couple beers out and setting them on the counter. He grabbed the plate holding the remains of Strife's birthday cake too, stopping to grab a couple forks before he balanced all the food in his arms and carried it over to the couch. It still felt kind of weird to be able to hang out in their living room naked, but as he watched Strife talking to Xena he decided it was definitely one of his favorite parts of living together. Besides, it never seemed to bother Strife, so there was no reason for it to bother him, either.

"'Cause I didn't know yesterday," Strife was saying, and Cupid grinned at the back of the other man's head as he imagined Xena asking him why he hadn't just told her yesterday that rehearsal was cancelled. "Gimme a break, huh, Xena? It's just one fuckin' rehearsal, who cares?"

Cupid listened to Strife's end of the argument, wondering why Xena cared so much about one rehearsal. It seemed like all they ever did was rehearse lately, so taking one day off wasn't going to kill them. Finally Strife hung up the phone and turned to look at him, and Cupid did his best to look like he hadn't been listening. "Everything okay?" he asked as Strife crossed the living room and sat down next to him.

"Yeah," Strife answered, taking the beer Cupid held out for him. "She's just bein' pissy 'cause we've actually got a payin' gig fer once. Can't blame her, I don't really wanna get up there and make a fool outta myself either."

"What are you talking about? You guys rehearse all the time."

Just for a second something flickered in Strife's eyes that Cupid couldn't place, but then he shrugged and it was gone. "She doesn't think 'Pol's ready. He'll be alright, I keep tellin' her ta chill. He's good enough ta fake it if he forgets a coupla chords."

"You haven't said much about him," Cupid said, hoping he just sounded curious and not actually jealous. Because he wasn't jealous, not really. He just wanted to know why Strife never talked about Apollo when he spent so much time with him.

"'Pol? He's alright." Strife reached for a sandwich and took a bite. "Man, these are good. Maybe yer dad doesn't hate me after all, huh?"

"I've told you a million times, he doesn't hate you," Cupid answered, smiling as convincingly as he could manage. He wasn't really thinking about his dad, though; he was more interested in the fact that Strife managed to change the subject every time he brought up Apollo. "So where'd Iolaus meet Apollo, anyway? Xena couldn't remember."

"I dunno. Some club, I think. Mighta been at the Drive show; I didn't go ta that one."

"How come?"

"'Cause they were playin' the night we moved in here," Strife said, a cute frown marring his features. "Why?"

"I was just wondering if there was something going on between Iolaus and Apollo, that's all," Cupid answered. "They seemed kind of close at the party."

"Iolaus and 'Pol?" Strife laughed, but when Cupid didn't join in he stopped laughing and frowned again. "Yer serious."

Cupid shrugged and looked down at his beer. "Well, yeah. I mean they seemed pretty close. Apollo hardly talked to anyone else the whole time he was here."

For a second Strife just watched him over the top of his beer, then he shook his head and set the bottle down on the coffee table. "Is that why Auto was actin' like somebody ran over his puppy?"

"He won't admit it, but it might have had something to do with that," Cupid answered. He wasn't sure whether or not Strife was going to be mad at him for trying to fix Iolaus and Auto up again, but at least this time it wasn't his idea. "Xena's the one who said we should try again. I just got him here."

"Xena? Yer kiddin'."

"I swear, it was all her idea. She's worried about Iolaus, thinks if he had somebody he actually liked that maybe he'd stop picking up strange guys in bars. I told her it worked okay for us, but she didn't think that was funny."

"I bet she didn't." Strife laughed again, shaking his head at the idea of Xena trying to fix up Iolaus and anybody. "I can ask Iolaus what's goin' on if ya want, but I'm pretty sure he's not sleepin' with 'Pol. Seems like he likes his guys nameless, ya know?"

Cupid laughed and swallowed the last of his beer before he set his own bottle down on the table. "Yeah, I think that's the problem."

"*His* problem, ya mean. Why're we still talkin' about Iolaus' sex life, anyway?" Strife stood up and picked up the cake, his gaze still fixed on Cupid as he backed toward the bedroom. "So ya want dessert or what?"

It took Cupid a second or two to switch gears, but when he did he nearly fell over himself in his haste to follow Strife.

~

"Hey," Hercules said when he pulled open the door to find Iolaus standing outside. "What's up?"

Iolaus shrugged and brushed past Hercules into the basement apartment he shared with Gabbie. He blinked a few times, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light before he looked around the room. It hadn't changed much since the last time he stopped by; the carpet was still a remnant of ugly tan shag that didn't quite stretch all the way to the walls, and their bed was still the biggest piece of furniture in the room. "You got a couch," he said, glancing behind him to find a green velour-covered couch pushed back against the wall closest to the door.

"Yeah, it was in Gabbie's grandparents' basement. Smells kinda funky," Hercules said, and Iolaus had to fight not to laugh when he wrinkled his nose instinctively. "Her dad and I brought it over last weekend."

"So her folks are coming around, then?"

A derisive snort escaped Hercules' throat, and Iolaus turned just in time to see his best friend scowl. "Fat chance. Her old man ragged on my job the whole way back from Connecticut. It doesn't matter that I'm actually taking care of my kid, all they care about is the fact that she got knocked up by a bouncer."

Iolaus didn't point out that technically Hercules hadn't been a bouncer when he knocked up Gabrielle. Back then he'd just been a guitarist, and that was probably worse in Gabbie's parents' eyes. At least working the door at a club was a steady income, even if it wasn't enough to pay for an apartment of their own. He'd heard all this before anyway; every time he came over he spent most of the time listening to Hercules complain about Gabbie's parents, sometimes even Gabbie herself. He couldn't see how they were going to make this thing work, but no matter how much they fought they were still talking about getting married. Iolaus had a sneaking suspicion that had more to do with what Gabbie's folks expected than what Gabbie or Herc wanted, but he was smart enough not to bring that up either.

"So have you talked to your mom?" Iolaus asked, hoping to steer the conversation away from Hercules' soon-to-be in-laws. He'd come over hoping to find some way of at least dropping a hint about what was going on with him lately, but he could already tell it wasn't going to happen. Every time he saw his best friend lately it was always about Herc, about his problems and the mess he'd made of his life. He never even asked how Iolaus was doing, how the band was working out now that they'd replaced him. All he talked about was Gabbie and the baby and how much he hated his job.

Hercules rolled his eyes and threw himself down on the couch, so Iolaus took a seat on the far end and did his best to ignore the slightly musty smell rising from the upholstery. "She calls here about every five minutes. Her and Gabbie.they're like best friends now. All they ever talk about is the kid. I mean she's not even showing yet, what's the big deal?"

"Guess she's just excited about having a grandkid." Iolaus glanced around at the depressing basement, suddenly grateful for his room on the top floor of the boarding house. He had to share the bathroom with the three other people on his floor, but it still beat living in a basement on Long Island with the non-stop baby talk and Herc's attitude. He had no idea why Herc hadn't bailed yet, other than the fact that if he did he'd never hear the end of it from his mother. Besides, Hercules had always had a kind of hero complex when it came to girls, and now he'd finally landed himself in a situation where he actually had to stand up and be a man. Still, having a kid.Iolaus could understand why he was a little freaked out about the whole thing, he just wished Herc would stop being such an asshole for a few minutes.

"So the new guy.what's his name?"

"Apollo."

"Yeah. He any good?"

"He's alright. Still hasn't learned all the songs, but he's getting there. We've got a show this weekend."

As soon as he said it Iolaus regretted it, but he couldn't take it back. The last thing he needed was for Herc to show up at their gig after he'd already asked Auto if he'd be there. He still wasn't sure why he'd done that - at the time it had seemed like a good idea, but now.now it felt more like a date than a 'maybe I'll see you around', and that was the last thing he needed.

"Oh, yeah? Where you playing?"

"CBGB's. Friday night," Iolaus answered, sending up a quick prayer to whoever was listening that Hercules had to work Friday night.

"You guys are playing CBGB's?" Herc asked, and Iolaus could just make out the hint of jealousy in his voice. "How'd you swing that?"

Iolaus shrugged uncomfortably and looked down at the ugly green velour. There was a hole in the center cushion, and he reached out and picked at the frayed edge so he wouldn't have to look at Hercules. "'Pol knows a guy. It's not that big a deal."

They both knew that wasn't true; playing CBGB's was a huge deal, especially considering they'd only been on the scene in the city for a few months. Still, people were starting to recognize their name, and playing a show at a popular club might actually put them on the map for good. That was if Xena didn't bail to go back to school full-time. "If you're not doing anything Friday."

"I gotta work," Hercules answered, and Iolaus couldn't tell from the way he said it whether or not he was telling the truth. It was just as well, he told himself. Herc and Strife still hadn't spoken to each other since their last blow-up, and as far as he knew Xena and Gabbie weren't exactly friends anymore. He knew Psyche would be at the show, so it was probably safer if Herc didn't show up with Gabbie in tow. Then there was the possibility that Auto would actually show up - it wasn't definite, but it would be Iolaus' luck that he'd show up expecting to pick up where they left off right in front of Hercules.

"Well maybe next time," Iolaus said, hoping he didn't sound as relieved as he felt. "It's probably not gonna be that great anyway, 'Pol's still a little rusty on some of the songs and all."

"Yeah, sure," Hercules said, but Iolaus could tell he wasn't really listening. A second later he stood up and Iolaus swallowed a sigh. He knew what that meant; Hercules was going to make up some excuse and kick him out, and once again Iolaus was going to chicken out about the whole reason he'd come over in the first place. Only he wasn't sure how he was supposed to tell Herc what was going on with him when he didn't even know. He couldn't even bring himself to say the word when he was alone in his room, so how was he supposed to say it to his best friend? "Look, Iolaus."

"Listen, I gotta run," Iolaus interrupted before Hercules had time to spit out his excuse. "Gotta get to rehearsal, you know."

"Right." Hercules followed him to the door, waving when Iolaus glanced over his shoulder. "So I'll catch you later."

"Yeah. See you," Iolaus muttered as the door swung shut behind him. He sighed and took the steps up to the sidewalk two at a time, telling himself he wasn't a coward for not just forcing Hercules to listen to him for once. He just had to find the right time to tell his best friend what was going on with him, and now definitely wasn't it. Herc still had too much on his mind - the subject of the band was still a sore spot, and things with Gabbie weren't exactly ideal. He had a lot going on, and Iolaus didn't need to add his problems to that. It was selfish of him to think about dumping all that on Hercules now, especially after the whole thing with Herc and Strife. He felt a little bad for lying about rehearsal when Strife had cancelled it, but it wasn't like Herc was ever going to find out, and what he didn't know wasn't going to hurt him.



tbc

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