Title: Birthday Surprise for TW
Author: Hex
Fandom: Xena/Herc.
Pairing: A/J C/S Dite/Hephaestus
Rating: PG
Summary: I’m kidnapped by Strife to attend a surprise birthday party
for TW.
Archive: If you want to.
Feedback: shini_tenshi777@yahoo.com
Status: Complete
Series: Nope
Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in this story, which is
probably the best for people’s sanity. I also do not own TW, Iain, or Scribe.
Nor am I writing this for money.
Warning: None
Notes: This is my gift to TW for her birthday. My thanks to Scribe who
helped me with Strife speak, and for telling me what she wanted to give
TW.
Birthday Surprise for TW
By Hex
//Hex’s house in Rhode Island -- you know that tiny state near Connecticut? Hex walks into her room. A plate in her left hand holds a cupcake. She sits down at a very poor excuse for a computer desk.//
Hex:" Okay list time. Cake," *glances at cupcake* "good enough. Stories ready to read, check. IM window up, check. Okay time to get started."
*Hex starts to type in IM window*
[shini_tenshi777: *pounce* hi]
[TW: hi sweetness. How are you?]
[shini_tenshi777: fine. You and the bug?]
[TW: we’re fine]
[shini_tenshi777: good]
[TW: :) what are you doing today?]
*Hex’s dog starts barking in the living room* *One of the cats run into the room across the hall from Hex’s* *Barking continues* *Looking weary, Hex types a quick message*
[shini_tenshi777: brb]
[TW: k]
*From a nearby bookcase Hex grabs a flashlight* *She hefts the flashlight like a club as she looks into the living room* *Abruptly the barking stops and her dog just sits in the middle of the room* *Hex kneels by the cocker spaniel and looks around*
Hex: "What were you barking at mutt?"
*Strife appears behind her*
Strife:" That would be me, toots."
*Hex swings the flashlight at him, but hits thin air* *Strife reappears behind her, pinning her arms with one of his, and his other hand covering her eyes*
Strife:" Guess who."
Hex: "The guy I’m gonna maim soon?"
Strife: *Giggling* "Nope. Guess again. Here’s two clues; I make life interestin, an', two of my favorite girls are Scribe, an' TW."
Hex: *Half an octave higher than usual* "Strife?"
Strife: "Yep!"
*Strife lets go of Hex, and she spins around to look at him*
Strife: "I’m insulted; I mean, a flashlight? Don’ I at least rate a bat or somethin"
Hex: *Points to the kitchen behind her* "I could go get a butcher knife if it’d make you feel better."
Strife: "Nah. Anyway, toots, we gotta go."
Hex: "Hold up. Where are "we" going, and how do I know you’re really Strife and not some psycho?"
Strife: "I could do something to ya if ya want."
Hex: *Smirks* "Go ahead."
*Strife blinks and stares for a second*
Strife: "How do ya know I won’t do somethin bad to ya?"
Hex: "Cause if you do, TW would cut off you’re nookie."
Strife: "Point. She an' Scribe are some tough wenches. Kay here ya go."
*Hex’s shorts and tank-top turn into a pair of black jeans and t-shirt* *She’s about to point out that she owns clothes like these when she notices they're about one size smaller than hers*
Hex: "Okay, you’re you. "
*Hex’s mother comes half way down the stairs and looks at them both*
Mom: "What’s going on Lis?"
*Hex shrugs and looks at Strife*
Hex: "Well? What is going on?"
Strife: *Rolls eyes* "I’m takin ya to ta visit TW."
Mom: "How would you do that?"
Hex: "Mom, meet Strife. Strife, meet my mom."
Strife: "Hiya."
Mom: "Okay. Tell Steph hi for me, and give both her and Iain a hug and kiss, ok Lis?"
Hex: *salutes* "Yep."
Mom: "And you." *Points at Strife* "Make sure my daughter is brought home before two, and if you dare bring her home hurt or hyper, God or not your hide is mine. Got it?"
Strife: "Yes’m. You know, you moms can be scary."
Mom: *while Hex nods* "I know."
Strife: "Good. Now, lets get going."
Hex: "Why are we go…"
*Strife grabs Hex and transports before she can finish her question*
//Strife and Hex appear in the living room of another house. Instead of snow outside there’s sunshine, and more sunshine. Looking around, there is huge bookcases and a pale yellow couch.//
*Hex stares at the room before turning and hitting Strife’s arm*
Hex: "Don’t you know how to knock on doors? If TW was out here she might have had an attack."
Strife: "An attack?"
Hex: Yeah either a heart attack, or attacking us."
*Inside her room, TW hears Strife and a female she doesn’t recognize* *She gets up and picks up Iain from where he’s playing*
TW: "Come on Iain. Let’s go see what Strife’s done now.">
*TW walks into her living room to see Hex glaring at the mischief God*
TW: "Hi Strife, and person."
*Hex turns and grins at the sight of TW and Iain* *Strife reaches out and takes Iain from TW*
Strife: "Come on, Speed Bump. Ya might get squished by accident."
*Hex glomps onto TW before looking up with a wide grin*
Hex: "Hi!"
TW: *blink* "Hex?" *Hex nods*"Darling, what on earth are you doing here?"
Hex: *shrugs* "Pins over there wouldn’t let me ask, but I think I have an idea."
*She looks over at Strife, who is tossing Iain into the air before he nods at her, getting another smile*
Hex: "Yep I know now. Oh! Mom says hi, and since I already gave you the hug…"
*Hex stands on tiptoe and gives TW a quick kiss*
Hex: "There. Now I just need to give those to the bug."
TW: "So this is why you haven't messaged me back for a while." *TW looks at Strife* "Did you at least knock before showing up at her place?"
Strife: "Nah. Where’s the fun in that?"
*Hex takes Iain, holding him like something made of glass, and gives the little guy a kiss to the forehead*
Hex: "I tried to clobber him with a flashlight"
Strife: <">Puny little thing to, though she did offah ta get a butcha knife ta make me feel bettah."
*TW looks at the smaller young lady holding her son before shaking her head fondly*
TW: "No doubt about it -- you’re Hex all right."
Hex: "I love being me."
TW: *snort* "Know you do, darling."
Strife: "Now, lets just..." *changes TW’s ill-fitting shorts and tee into a sapphire blue skirt and lighter shirt* "There." *claps hands* "All right, now that you to have met, said hi, and all that shi…" *Looks towards Iain who is watching curiously* "stuff; let’s get the party started!"
TW: "What party? Strife, what are you doing now?"
*Strife relocates them into the kitchen where Iain upsies onto the less hyper Hex*
Hex: "Strife! You cannot tell me you didn’t know that would happen. Clean the bug and I up now."
Strife: "Fine. Just cause ya can’t look like that ‘round ‘Dite."
*Hex turns towards TW who now seems to be considering running*
Hex: "Please tell me I did not just hear that". *TW gives her a "look"* "Great I’m pulling a Scribe." *Sigh* "Oh well, it was inevitable."
TW: "Yep. You said it when you told me; being my friend, you were bound to be noticed."
Hex: "I tempt the Fates too darn much."
*Snapping his fingers, Strife conjures up balloons -- pink, white, and blue -- and a table with presents, cake, and some drinks. Various Gods appear around the room, each coming up and giving TW a hug, kiss, and/or grope*
Strife: "First things first. As ya all know<,> this is Hex. Hex, these are ‘Dite, Joxah, Ares, Bliss, an' Cupe."
*Silence*
TW: "Hon, don’t you dare faint with my son in your arms. "
Hex: "Okay. Moment of awe and disbelief is over now. Hey."
Gods: *In stereo* "Hi, Hex."
Hex: "Crap."
*Hex hides behind TW*
Hex: "Protect me, right?"
TW: "Yes dear. But they don’t bite" *smirk from Strife* "much. Besides, if they do anything we can get them back in a story.">
Hex: "Right. Okay. I think we can start the party as soon as my heart starts back up."
*Bliss, who has been starring at Hex the whole time, finally speaks up*
Bliss: "Daddy, who’s that?"
Cupid: "That’s Hex. She’s an author, like TW and Scribe. Once she gets her self esteem up some more..."
*Hex adds "and grows a backbone"*
Cupid: "She'll most likely write and post stories about us. You know, like Aunt Scribe and Aunt TW do."
Bliss: "So she’s Auntie Hex?" *Ponders* "Does she worship Auntie Hecate?"
Cupid: "Not that I know?" *Looks questioningly at Hex, who shakes her head* "Why?"
Bliss: "Cause I heard Auntie Hecate say she was gonna hex daddy Strife’s butt off."
Cupid: "No son, that’s just what she picked to call herself, again like Scribe and TW."
Bliss: "Okay."
*Bliss waves at Hex, who is now wondering what she has gotten herself into*
Dite: "Kay, like, could we get on with the party now that that’s clear? Sorry sweetie, but I got a major love connection I gotta work on after this."
TW: "No problem, ‘Dite."
Ares: "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to open these dam…" *Is elbowed by Joxer* "darn things."
Joxer: "Behave, Ares. Come one TW" *Takes TW’s arm and walks her to the chair in front of the presents* "Have a seat and open your gifts."
*TW sits and gives Joxer a kiss on the cheek* *Joxer goes and stands in front of his husband, who in turn wraps his arms around him, mirroring Cupid and Strife*
TW: "Okay which first. Hmm..."
Strife: *Pulling away from a kiss with Cupid* "Wait. Hades was suppose ta come too.
TW: "Where? " *Looks around*
*A flash of black sparks appears in the kitchen next to TW* *Hades appears holding a bouquet of flowers*
Hades: "Here. ‘Seph says happy birthday. I have to go -- the spirits are backed up already." *Disappears*
Hex: "He always that brief? "
Gods: "Yes."
TW: *Squeals* "Oooooo! Snapdragons, Lilies of the valley, and Yellow roses. Hex, love, get me a vase from the cabinet behind, you dear."
*Hex opens the cabinet and grabs the lowest vase* *She fills the vase part way and brings it to TW* *As TW arranges the flowers, she takes a seat next to her*
TW: *Gives Hex a kiss to the cheek* "Thanks, deary."
Dite: "Oh, mine next, mine next. It’s the pink one, TW."
Ares: "We’d never had guessed, Dite."
*TW tears open the present before going a nice shade of pink herself*
Cupid: "Mom, tell me you didn’t?"
Dite: "What? Every girl needs one, right?"
*TW holds up a red lace teddy before glaring at Hex who, despite being red herself, is snickering behind Iain’s head* *Iain is amusing himself by playing with the pretty ribbon his mom tore off the box*
TW: "Brat. Oh, what’s this?" *Digs up a nightshirt that would go down to her knees* " 'I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it' Oh ‘Dite it’s perfect I wanted this for a while."
Dite: "Hephie said you’d probably like that one, too, so we got both. Now, no offence, but Love waits for no one, so I have to go.' *Kisses TW* "Happy birthday sweetie, and I’ll see you both around."
Hex: *Playing with Iain* "Dragging me into your insanity."
TW: "If I didn’t drag you, you’ve
jumped in headfirst."
Hex: "Yep. Next present." *Hands over a small, light blue card*
TW: *opens the card* "Wow! Two days at the local spa. Wait, I can’t go and leave Iain here alone."
Hex: "Might as well give you Scribe’s gifts. One is she paid for a ‘Chocolate of the Month’ club. It sends you a different box of gourmet chocolates each month. And she’s also giving you the services of a full time nanny for a month. And you could always have Strife bring the little bug to my place and I’d watch him."
TW: *Squeeeeee* "Ohhh You two are the best! Remind me to get Scribe a thank you card. And Thank you Joxer, I foresee nookie ahead for you."
Joxer: "Thanks, TW."
Hex: "Check."
TW: "Okay next one is..." *Reaches towards the presents blindly* *Grabs a long heavy one* "What on? Who’s this from?"
Ares: "That’s mine."
TW: "Okay." *Opens present* *Blink* *Takes out a metal bat* "Ares, what?"
Ares: "I was going to give you a sword, but Joxer told me that wouldn’t be a good idea. So I looked and found what you women usually use to protect yourselves, and I came up with this."
TW: "Well, it’s the thought that counts. Thanks Ares."
Ares: "And now that that’s done, it's time for that nookie you promised my husband. Bye."
Joxer: "Happy Birthday, TW."
*Ares grabs Joxer and disappears in a shower of red sparks*
Bliss: "My turn! Here Auntie TW." *Hands TW a picture*
TW: "Awwww. Thanks Bliss. That's so sweet." *Shows picture of her and the group in a big heart to those left* *Kisses Bliss’ forehead*
Cupid: "And our gifts aren’t really tangible. Mine is there’s going to be a good supply of hot guys for eye candy. Enjoy, TW."
Strife: "An' I pulled some strings an' got you one, ONE, week free of computa bugs. Fates said any longah an' everythin might unravel."
TW: " Great! I can’t wait. Thanks."
Strife: "And we’re gonna take Unc’s lead an' leave. Just give us a call, toots, when ya need ta head home, kay?"
Hex: "Yep. Have fun, as always."
Cupid: "Thanks. Happy Birthday, TW."
Strife: "Ditto."
Bliss: "Bye, bye Auntie TW."
*The three boys flash away, leaving Hex, TW, and Iain, (who’s surrounded by paper), alone in the kitchen*
TW: "Well, guess that’s all the gifts."
Hex: "Ahem. What am I? Chopped liver? Here." *Hands over small plastic card*
TW: "Cool! A gift card for Barnes and Noble. And eep!" *Drops card* "It’s for $250? Dear, I know you’re no homeless person, but that’s a lot."
Hex: "Consider it a make up gift for the birthdays I missed."
TW: "Deary…"
Hex: "Nope, not listening. Mom would agree. Spend, enjoy."
TW: *Silence* *Gives Hex a long kiss* "Thank you. "
Hex: "So, we eating, or what?"
TW: "Let’s see what we got. Yummy, Angel food cake with frosting, and a Strawberry-crush with a cola! Score!"
*Hex picks up the cola while TW grabs the Strawberry-crush* *they lift them and give a mock cheers*
Hex: "Cheers. To happy birthdays, and good friends."
TW: "To happy birthdays, and good friends. Thank you Scribe." *Turns towards Hex* "and thank you, sweetie."
Hex: "Not a problem luv, not a problem at all. "
The end.