Part 1 Part 2
TITLE: The Engagement Party
AUTHOR: Tequila Worm
RATING: PG-13 to be safe, probably not more than a PG
PAIRING: None that have to do with X:WP or H:TLJ in this half, unless
you count Cupid and trife appearing together.
WARNINGS: This is so far off the beaten path it isn't even funny.
It's full of MarySues, improbabilities, and the like. Don't hate me
for being silly. Also, this hasn't been beta'd, except by me and the
spell checker....
DEDICATION: To the ladies that inspired this whole silly thing, Corona
and Scorpio. Also, to Scribe, for being the original MarySue that I
fell in love with. *wink* And to J, for being him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
*HONK* *scrubscrubscrub* *sniffle* "gah, I hade habbing a cold." TW
threw the Kleenex she held in her hand into the almost full trashcan
next to her and turned back to her computer screen. She was chatting
with some of her online friends, bemoaning the fact that she couldn’t
breathe like normal person, and they were commiserating, since most of
them were in the same state.
"I think the biggest problem that I have right now is that I sound like
Fran Drescher. Well, maybe not as high pitched, and without that
laugh, but the tone is the same. And my ears!! GAH!" she typed at the
Zombie Queen, a.k.a. Corona.
"Who's that? British, here, remember?" the Queen typed back…or at
least that was the general idea of what she sent. TW was being
distracted what…or rather, who…had just appeared in her living room.
"Hiya, Cutie. Whatcha been up to?" Strife asked, ruffling TW's hair.
Cupid, on the other hand, stared in shock. "Your hair!
What…why…how…when…WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?!"
TW blinked. "Wow. Now I know where J geds his hair feddish. Whad? I
cud id. Why? Because id was driving me up da wall. How? With a
sdylisd and a pair of scissors. When? Lasd Friday."
Cupid just stared at the fanfic writer in shock. J stuck his head out
of the bedroom where he was watching TV. "You get use to it, if it’s
any help. And be thankful she only cut off 6 inches. I think she
would have done more if she hadn't known she'd look weird…and that I'd
have killed her."
Strife snorted. "Leave her alone, Cupe. She looks cute. I like it."
TW smiled gratefully, then sneezed…and sneezed…and sneezed. She
gestured in the direction of the dinning room table, too busy sneezing
to say anything. Cupid and Strife just looked confused, and vaguely
disgusted. J, on the other hand, came out of the bedroom and went to
the table, and grabbed the box of Kleenex that was just out of his
girlfriend's reach. He set it down right next to her, grabbed her
empty water bottle, and refilled it while she finished sneezing. He
brought it back to her just as she finished wiping her nose, setting it
down next to her.
TW smiled weakly up at him. "Tanks hunny. I'b sowwy I caughd dis
cold. Id's no fun for you or be."
J smiled slightly and kissed her forehead. "No problem honey. Just
get better soon, ok?" She nodded and he went back into the bedroom
with a nod at the two gods who were standing in the middle of the room.
TW took a drink of water, sneezed once more, growled, and grabbed a
Kleenex. As she was wiping her nose, she studied the two Olympians
that were before her.
"So whad brings you doo do my home?" she asked them, figuring that
they'd understand her. After all, they WERE gods.
Strife was the first one to shake himself free. "Well, sweets, it's
like this. You know that wedding that you're planning with my ma and
'Dite? The one for Scorpio and Corona?" TW nodded. "We were kinda
miffed that we were left out of the planning…so we wanna throw them an
engagement party."
Cupid jumped in. "Nothin' real big, though. I was thinking just a
simple Olympian orgy. The pantheon, a few hundred of the AJCS list
sibs, and a lot of booze. What do you think?"
TW grinned. "I dink id sounds like a gread idea….ess'p'd for one ding.
Nod all of da lisd sibs are legal drinkers…including be."
Cupid looked disappointed, but Strife just laughed and waved his hand.
Suddenly, TW found herself 14 months older. "There! Now ya are. An'
we'll do the same for any sib that's not old enough in their own
country, how's that?"
TW grinned. "Brin' on da booze!"
*****************************************************************
After about 20 minutes of talking with the Olympians, they flashed out,
and she turned back to her computer…to find just a couple messages from
Corona, asking if she was ok.
"Sorry honey," TW typed, "but the boys just stopped by for a moment
with a message from their moms. Something that I needed to know for
the wedding."
"Dare I ask?" Corona responded a moment later.
"Nope, cause I won’t tell you anyway, and you know it. I just hope
you're ready for a little fun. Oh, yeah. What are you doing
tomorrow?” "
This time, there was an even longer pause before Corona came back with
a response.
"I don’t think that we have any plans. I'm still trying to decide how
to keep the muses and the bunnies from escaping their suitcase."
"Well, cancel that. You and Scorpio are going to come up to Olympus
with me tomorrow, so you can see what the decorations look like, ok?"
TW thought there was a definite undertone of hesitance and maybe even a
little fear that crept into the simple "OK" that Corona responded with.
****************************************************************
TW looked around the room in awe. "Boys, you habbe oud done
yourselbes. Diss looks fandasdic." She scrubbed at her nose with the
well used Kleenex in her hand while staring at the silver and black
decorations that had been put up all around the room.
Corona and Scorpio nodded their agreement. "This is wonderful," they
said together. TW started giggling at them, mainly because they were
looking in opposite directions, commenting on opposite things.
Cupid shook his wings just a tiny bit, looking as if he was preening,
and Strife grinned. "We knew ya'd like it."
The women wandered around a bit, looking at the refreshment table, full
of nibbles and bites to appeal to everyone, past the bar that was
stocked with every kind of liquor known to man, bas pillows and couches
and over-stuffed chairs galore.
"OK, there is no way that this is for the wedding. There's food out.
I know this is Olympus, bet even here, food doesn't last that long. So
what's up?" Corona asked, staring at TW.
TW opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, Cupid dragged up a
bewildered looking man.
"TW, this is Ace. He's going to fix your cold," Cupid said, steadying
Aclespius so that he didn't fall over.
TW blinked. "You can do dat?" she asked in astonishment.
Ace nodded. "I can, but only if it's the first time that I've done so
for the mortal. For some reason, it doesn't work more than once.
Since I've never fixed a cold for you, I rather thought that you'd
prefer to go through this wedding without sniffling and sneezing and
hiding Kleenex in your bouquet."
TW nodded emphatically. "I would LOBE do ged rid of dis ting. Dis is
absoludely obnoxious."
Ace grinned at her. "well, come on then, dear. Let's go and get you
fixed up." And the two walked away, leaving Corona and Scorpio with
Cupid.
Corona turned to Cupid. "OK, I'm going to ask you the same thing that
I just asked TW. What's going on here? I know that this doesn't have
a thing to do with the wedding next week, mainly because food doesn't
keep that long, and there is a fully stocked buffet table over there.
So what's up?"
Cupid grinned. "Well, Strife and I were kinda put out that we didn't
get a chance to do anything for your wedding. Our moms have been going
on and on about all the plans that they and TW are making. So, we
decided that we were going to throw you an engagement party. I do
hope that you don't mind."
Scorpio looked around thoughtfully. "I suppose that depends. What did
you have in mind? I mean, these decorations are beautiful and
everything, but…"
Strife sidled up. "Not to worry. We planned an orgy."
The two women grinned at each other, then at the two gods. "Then let's
get partyin'!"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Six hours later, men and women were lounging around on all the pillows
and chairs in the room, nibbling on the snacks that had been provided,
getting themselves royally smashed on the alcohol that Ganymede and a
few nymphs and dryads were serving, and generally having a good
time…especially the ones that had already succumbed to the heady
incense that Cupid had burning, the kind that inspired lust in just
about everyone.
TW was sitting in J’s lap while talking with Corona, Scorpio, and
Sarah. So far, all her boyfriend had done was wrap his arms around her
waist, and snuggle her back against his chest. If he didn’t do
something soon, though, TW was going to have to take matters into her
own hands. In the mean time, she was chatting with her friends about
nothing in particular.
"Do you think that anything should be available to fanfic writers?"
Sarah asked.
Corona blinked. "Don't we take what we want, no matter what?"
Sarah grinned. "No, I mean all fandoms. You know how some authors
have said that you're not allowed to play with their characters, and if
you post it anywhere on the net or publish it in any 'zine, you're
going to get sued? Like Anne Rice and Anne McCaffrey. And now the
whole thing with the Anita Blake series."
TW groaned. "Yes, I think that we should have access to all of that.
I mean, just look at The Vampire Chronicles. Those stories are chock
full of slash potential. So are the movies. And I would adore writing
something about Pern. I love those dragons, and the riders aren't bad
either."
Scorpio grinned. "What about Anita Blake?"
TW stuck out her tongue. "Don't read 'em. Wouldn't know."
J just shook his head. And then paused a moment. He turned his
girlfriend around in his lap. "Babe, you don't sound sick anymore.
Why is that? I know that you were just reaching the peak of that cold,
so you can't have gotten over it all ready."
TW grinned. "Actually, Ace gave me something to get rid of it. A cure
for the common cold, if you will."
J looked thoughtful. "If that's the case, why hasn't he given it to
mortals yet? I mean..."
TW shook her head. "Because it only works once. Once you've been
cured of a cold with this thing, it'll never work again for you. He's
working on a way to get around that, but so far, he's been
unsuccessful."
J shrugged. "Oh well. I'm sure that the dude will come up with
something. He's a smart guy. In the mean time..." and with that, he
tipped her over far enough that he could kiss her soundly.
Corona, Scorpio, and Sarah all let loose with whistles and cat calls.
TW sat up, blushing. J just grinned at the other women.
"Aw, shut up, y'all. It's not like you don't write worse," TW said,
turning brick red.
Corona grinned at her friend. "Yeah, but seeing it when it's you and J
versus writing it when it's, say, Ares and Joxer, are two totally
different things."
TW stuck her tongue out at Corona and turned back to J. "Is that why
you haven't been doing anything but snuggling me? Because you thought
that I still had my cold?"
J nodded. "Yeah, honey. You haven't been feeling well, so I didn't
want to push you, even though this is a seriously…lusty…environment."
He looked around at all the couples who had gone from making out to
flat out screwing.
TW groaned. "Well, I'm feeling fine. Wanna go and join 'em?"
J looked at her, then looked at their companions. "Sure. Later,
ladies," and dragged TW off to a nearby pile of cushions.
The girls looked at each other and started laughing. "Well then! I
guess we know that we won't get to talk to her much for the rest of the
evening," said Scorpio.
Corona giggled and snuggled up to her fiancée. "Probably not. That's
ok, though. I have a feeling that we won't want to. She'll probably
be pretty incoherent. However, I do want to talk to-"
"Good evening, ladies," said a deep voice, tinged with amusement.
"-Ares. Speak of the devil. Good evening, Ares, Joxer," said the
British redhead. "Why don’t you sit down and join us?"
Joxer smiled and plopped down on the couch where J and TW had been
sitting. "Thanks, Corona. How are you doing? I mean, it's just a
week until your wedding, and all. What have you been up to?"
Scorpio sighed blissfully. "Absolutely nothing. Eris, 'Dite, and TW
are taking care of everything. We're just here for the beer," she
said, holding up a cold, frosty mug of frothy beer.
Ares grinned. "Do you at least have a say in the dresses and tuxes? I
mean, if my sister is helping…either of them…you might want to step up
and say something. You could wind up with pink and frilly, black and
leathery, or something in between the two…like frilly and leathery.”
Everyone paused a moment to contemplate pink, frilly leather, with
black accents. Joxer was the first to recover, speaking with a
shudder. "I DO hope that you've managed to control them..."
Corona grinned weakly. "TW has assured me that she's managed to
control the women to the point that yes, we have leather, but it's gray
and silver…don't ask, I don't know, and there are NO frills on
anything…but there may be pink somewhere." She stuck out her tongue.
"Like on my garter."
Everyone laughed at that. "I do wonder who’s going to catch that
garter. On Olympus, that could be something scary for just about
anyone."
Sarah nodded in agreement with Ares' comment. "Especially if it's
someone like…Zeus. Thank goodness he can't catch it!!"
Joxer looked vaguely confused. "Why wouldn't he? Knowing him, he'd
zap it to himself, depending on the woman that caught the bouquet."
Corona shook her head. "Because no married man is allowed to
participate in the catching of the garter, just like no married female
is allowed to participate in the catching of the bouquet. It's just
tradition, really."
Joxer nodded his understanding as he surveyed the room. The sight that
met his eyes was truly astounding.
A few hundred mortals, gods, and other creatures were either milling
around the room, talking, laughing, and generally having a good time,
or laying about on the cushions and sofas, screwing for all they were
worth.
"Ya know, Cupid really out did himself this time," remarked Joxer,
taking a sip of his ambrosia-laced wine.
The girls beamed. "That's because he loves us!" said Corona, laying a
killer lip-lock on Scorpio.
The other three, two gods and a mortal, just shook their heads. This
was going to be a long week, that was for sure.
*~*The End*~*