Part 1 Part 2
Title: What You Wish For
Author/pseudonym: Caroline
Fandom: X:WP
Pairing: Ares/Joxer
Rating: NC17
Status: new
Archive: yes to list archives
E-mail address for feedback: caroline_crane@hotmail.com
Series/Sequel: Another companion piece to the "Stupid Cupid" universe.
Follows the events in "Fools Fall in Love", my first Ares/Joxer companion
piece, which can be found at my site.
Other websites: http://desiderium.slashcity.net/
Notes: This is another unabashedly fluffy installment in the Ares/Joxer
prequel to the events in "Stupid Cupid". I'm sure there will be more. Next
time: fun with sex toys. Maybe.
Summary: A week in the life, aka the further fluffy adventures of AU Ares
and Joxer.
Warnings: no
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Forget it. It’s a war movie. There’s got to be something else.”
Ares was so busy being horrified by Joxer’s declaration that he barely
noticed the entertainment section being pulled out of his hands. “Are you
saying you don’t *like* war movies?”
Joxer’s nose wrinkled in distaste as he flattened the paper on the bed in
front of him and scanned the movie listings. “War movies are too real. All
that violence, why would I want to watch it?”
“It’s supposed to be real. It’s history,” Ares protested, his eyes wide as
it sank in that Joxer was actually serious.
“If you really want something violent we can go see the remake of 'Psycho'.
It’s still playing at Loews.”
“They remade 'Psycho'? Why the hell would they do that?”
Joxer shrugged and glanced up long enough to grin at Ares’ puzzled
expression. “Beats me. How do you feel about independent films? 'Smoke
Signals' is playing at Cinema Village, if we hurry we can make the early
show.”
“What’s it about?”
Joxer stopped just short of rolling his eyes and looked down at the paper
again, clearing his throat and reading from the short review printed near
the bottom. “’Two young American Indians leave the reservation to resolve
their problems and find themselves’. That’s all it says. I’ve heard great
things about it, though.”
“That’s their tagline? No wonder I’ve never heard of it.”
“This from the man that wants to spend Saturday evening watching a bunch of
kids kill each other with semi-automatic weapons.” Joxer sighed and looked
up at Ares again, his gaze wandering down the other man’s bare chest. “On
second thought maybe we should find something else to do. Maybe we’re just
not movie compatible.”
“We could just stay in,” Ares said, picking up the entertainment section and
folding it carefully before dropping it on the floor with the rest of the
newspaper. “Since we’re already in bed and all.”
Joxer let Ares push him back onto the pillows again, a soft sigh escaping
his throat as the familiar weight pressed him into the mattress. The truth
was that he would have sat through 'A Thin Red Line' for Ares; he would have
agreed to go see whatever Ares wanted as long as they were together. It
wasn’t the kind of movie he’d pick out on his own, but there wasn’t much he
wouldn’t do to make Ares happy.
Maybe it was just the newness of their relationship that made him so quick
to agree to whatever Ares wanted to do, or maybe it was the fact that he
still remembered how sad Ares seemed when they first met. It was unsettling
to see such melancholy on such a self-assured, powerful-looking man, and it
had drawn Joxer in more quickly than he’d expected. After his last messy
breakup he’d tried to convince himself that he shouldn’t rush headlong into
a new relationship with someone as complicated as Ares, but no amount of
logic could stop him from falling head over heels in no time at all.
The first time they slept together took them both by surprise; Joxer hadn’t
planned to just offer himself to Ares with no questions asked, but the way
Ares had looked at him as though he was truly lost did something to Joxer he
still couldn’t explain. Not that he regretted the way it happened, but he’d
been planning to take things a little more slowly. At the very least he’d
been planning to find out one way or the other if Ares was interested in him
before they fell into bed together, but it had worked out in the end. At
least it had so far, and two months into their relationship he was hoping
things would keep going as well as they had been.
Saturday afternoons were his favorite part of the week, because if Cupid
wasn’t in town Ares would show up at his door after his morning classes.
That was how they’d found themselves tangled together in Joxer’s bed that
afternoon, and now that Ares was kissing his neck again Joxer couldn’t
remember why he’d ever suggested they get dressed and go see a movie.
As new relationships went Joxer couldn’t think of one thing that could make
theirs more perfect. Okay, so there was still the whole ‘where is this
going?’ question nagging at him whenever he let himself think about it, but
it had only been a couple months so he wasn’t really worried about it. He’d
caught himself on the verge of telling Ares he loved him more than once, but
so far he’d managed to stop himself in time. It wasn’t that he had any
problems saying it out loud, and he definitely loved Ares. He’d started
falling the first time they really talked in that diner near the dojo, and
it hadn’t taken much to push him over the proverbial edge.
The reason he stopped himself from saying the words was because he wasn’t
sure if Ares was ready to hear them, and the last thing he wanted to do was
scare him off. He was positive that what they had could become the thing
they’d both been missing from their lives, but he wasn’t going to risk
making any major declarations before he even met Ares’ son. A small voice
that he’d spent most of his life trying to ignore kind of liked the idea of
Ares saying it first, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t going to happen.
He wasn’t exactly the demonstrative type, and Joxer had had to coax out of
him nearly every admission he’d made so far about his feelings.
So he was being patient. It wasn’t that hard; he got to spend most of his
free time with Ares, and as long as Cupid wasn’t in town for the weekend he
got Ares all to himself. Not that he really would have minded sharing him
with his son, but so far Ares hadn’t suggested introducing Joxer to Cupid
and he didn’t want to push it. It was possible Ares just wasn’t ready to
take that step, and if that was the case Joxer was going to have to respect
his wishes. At least he was going to have to try, but the longer they dated
without even bringing up the future the harder he knew it was going to be to
keep his mouth shut.
He knew he was in danger of ruining things between them by trying to rush
into a commitment. It had happened before, and he’d learned enough from his
own mistakes to know better than to risk rushing Ares. He was exactly the
kind of man Joxer was supposed to stay as far away from as possible:
confused, a little gun shy about commitment, barely out of the closet. That
particular combination usually spelled disaster where Joxer was concerned,
but no matter how hard he’d tried to convince himself not to pursue Ares he
hadn’t been able to resist.
It was a little easier to be patient while Ares was distracting him from
thinking at all, though, and when the other man opened his mouth against
Joxer’s neck he forgot all about where their relationship was going. He
arched into the touch, his eyes fluttering closed as Ares let out a hot
breath just below his ear. Joxer’s fingers slid into the other man’s hair,
flexing against Ares’ scalp as he nipped at Joxer’s earlobe. The gentle
scrape of teeth against his ear evoked a hiss of pleasure from the smaller
man, and he tightened his grip on Ares and tugged until Ares got the hint
and covered Joxer’s mouth with his own.
Losing himself in sensation was easy when they were together; he loved the
way Ares touched him, the way their bodies fit together and the way Ares
always seemed to know what he needed before he asked for it. Every touch
was a combination of tenderness and passion that Joxer never would have
thought possible if he hadn’t felt it, and whether they were laughing
together or locked in an intense embrace he always knew exactly how much
Ares wanted him.
He didn’t even mind how quickly Ares could reduce him to breathy little
moans and incoherent murmurs that didn’t mean anything to anyone but the two
of them. And in the past two months Ares had made it his business to
memorize every spot on Joxer's body that made him beg shamelessly for just a
little more, just the right touch to bring him over the edge. There was the
hand moving steadily down the center of his chest, for instance, lingering
whenever he found a spot that made Joxer's breathing a little more erratic.
Then there was Ares' mouth, which did things to him Joxer was pretty sure
should be illegal.
He shifted under the body holding him down, smiling at the answering groan
that escaped the other man's throat. Ares pulled away and reached for the
waistband of the sweatpants Joxer had pulled on long enough to get the
paper, tugging them down and over the smaller man's hips. He dropped them
on the floor and reached for the waistband of his boxer briefs, and Joxer
watched almost regretfully as Ares peeled the black fabric down his hips and
off. He loved the way Ares looked all the time, but something about the
sight of him in a pair of tight-fitting underwear did things to Joxer's
stomach that defied gravity.
As soon as Ares knelt between his legs and leaned over him again he forgot
all about their clothes, though, and when Ares captured his lips again he
surged up into the sensation. His fingers tangled in the other man's hair,
his whole body arching into the solid weight against him. Another groan
escaped Ares' throat as he ran a hand down Joxer's hip and wrapped his leg
around Ares' waist. The movement brought them even closer together, and
Joxer swallowed a gasp as he felt the first slide of hardness against his
own quickly hardening cock.
His hands left Ares' hair to explore the taut muscles of the other man's
back, a shudder running down his spine at the tightly coiled strength he
felt under his fingers. Everything about being with Ares made him feel
safe, but he wasn't sure he'd ever really get used to the feeling of all
that power flexing under Ares' skin. Just watching him move was enough to
make Joxer instantly hard, and it was the main reason he was still taking
karate every Wednesday night. Getting through the actual class made him
thankful for the loose-fitting gi, but it was worth the anticipation when
Ares finally locked the door and led him upstairs to the loft.
So far he got Wednesday nights and weekends, with the occasional extra
weeknight thrown in. There were times when he was tempted to ask for more
of Ares' time; he knew their relationship wasn't just about sex, and it
seemed natural to want to spend as much time together as possible. He had
no idea whether or not Ares was ready for more of a commitment, though, and
he knew better than to push too hard. Still, it would make both their lives
easier if he could just keep a few things at Ares' place so he wouldn't have
to bring an extra change of clothes with him every Wednesday night.
It didn't seem like that much of a commitment, but Ares hadn't so much as
left a toothbrush at his place and Joxer wasn't sure what that meant. They
hadn't talked much about their past relationships yet, so he had no idea
what to expect from Ares. He was pretty sure there hadn't been anyone
serious since the other man's marriage broke up, which just made it harder
to know how fast he could move things along without scaring Ares away
completely.
And the last thing he wanted to do was scare Ares away, because he'd already
gotten way too addicted to the other man's touch. The soft, feather-light
kisses Ares rained down on Joxer's throat as he slid slowly inside the other
man were just part of it; he loved the way Ares fit against him, he loved
the sound of his voice, and just the sight of his smile was enough to make
Joxer's knees weak.
Right on cue Ares pulled back far enough to smile down at him, and Joxer's
heart skipped a beat as he arched up to draw the other man as far inside him
as he could. He smiled at Ares' low moan, shifting until the head of Ares'
cock brushed across his prostate. A shudder rolled through him as Ares
pulled back a little and then thrust into him again, sending another sharp
jolt of pleasure up his spine. He kept up a series of shallow thrusts, each
one hitting that spot that threatened to drive him crazy. Just when he was
sure he couldn't take it anymore Ares pulled almost all the way out of him,
pausing long enough for Joxer to open his eyes before he slammed back into
him again.
A sharp gasp escaped Joxer's throat as he thrust up to meet Ares, tightening
instinctively around the cock buried inside him. Ares moaned low in his
throat and pulled out again, his hips moving more erratically with each
thrust. Each time Joxer tightened around him, dragging the other man a
little closer to the edge with every stroke. Too soon Ares tensed against
him, burying himself deep inside Joxer one last time and moaning his
release. Joxer's hands moved over the hard muscles of Ares' back and arms
as he waited for the other man to stop shaking, a soft sigh escaping him
when Ares finally pulled out of him and pressed his mouth to the base of his
throat.
Joxer buried his hand in the other man's hair as Ares worked his way down
his chest, stopping each time he found a sensitive spot to nip gently at the
pale skin under him. By the time he found his way to Joxer's stomach the
other man was murmuring incoherently, his fingers tightening in Ares' hair
as he tried in vain to guide his mouth where he needed it most. He sucked
in a sharp breath when he felt the first puff of hot breath against the head
of his cock, his whole body twitching as Ares finally closed his mouth
around the sensitive tip. It was a struggle not to arch up into the moist
heat engulfing him, but the hand holding his hips firmly against the
mattress was enough to keep him from inadvertently choking the other man.
Ares used his tongue to tease the tip of Joxer's cock, setting an almost
excruciating pace that evoked a frustrated whimper from the smaller man's
throat. An answering chuckle vibrated around his already aching cock, and
when he felt Ares' fingers brush across the entrance to his body he knew he
wouldn't last much longer. He pushed his knees even further apart to give
Ares better access, groaning as two fingers sank easily inside him. His
whole body jerked when Ares brushed across that spot inside him again, the
tension in the pit of his stomach tightening a little more as Ares' tongue
traced the length of his cock.
He was caught between the urge to thrust into Ares' mouth and the need to
push down on the fingers working in and out of him, his lips parted and his
breath coming in harsh gasps as he sought just a little more. As though
Ares could read his mind another finger slipped inside him, stretching him a
little further as Ares slid his mouth as far down Joxer's length as he could
go. He hollowed his cheeks and sucked hard on each upstroke, his fingers
teasing Joxer's prostate relentlessly.
Just when Joxer was sure he'd never survive the wonderful onslaught he felt
himself tense, his fingers tightening in Ares' hair as he arched against the
hand pinning him to the mattress. Ares pulled away until only the head of
Joxer's cock still rested between his lips, his fingers still buried inside
the other man as Joxer came. He swallowed and let Joxer slip out of his
mouth, planting a soft kiss on the head of his cock before he pulled his
fingers out of Joxer and crawled over him again.
Joxer was panting and breathless when Ares settled next to him, pushing a
few strands of sweat-soaked hair off his forehead before he leaned forward
and pressed his lips to the corner of Joxer's mouth. "That was…" Joxer
began, struggling to keep his eyes open as he searched for the right words
to tell Ares how he felt.
"Better than the movies?" Ares asked, a mischievous grin tugging at the
corners of his mouth when Joxer looked over at him.
"Much better than the movies. Any time you want to try that with any of my
toys you just let me know."
"Toys?"
Joxer managed not to laugh at Ares' confused expression, surprise making him
forget how exhausted he'd been a moment ago. "You know, sex toys. You have
used toys before, haven't you?"
"No," Ares answered, pushing himself up on an elbow to look down at Joxer.
"I never really thought about it."
Joxer resisted the urge to shake his head at another one of Ares' displays
of naďveté and pushed himself off the mattress long enough to lean over the
edge of the bed. He felt around until he found the box he was looking for,
pulling it up and dropping it on the mattress between them. When he looked
up and saw Ares' raised eyebrow he grinned and shrugged, lifting the lid off
the box and focusing on the contents. "I don't have much, just the basics.
Not that this stuff gets much use these days."
"So you've used all this stuff." Ares reached into the box and lifted the
first object he touched, taking it out and frowning at it before he looked
up at Joxer again.
"It's a cock ring. You have seen one of these before, haven't you?" Joxer
asked, instantly regretting the surprise in his voice when Ares flushed and
looked back down at it. He swallowed a sigh and reached over, pulling it
out of Ares' hand and holding it up. "It unfastens like this. It puts
enough pressure on the base of your erection to keep you from coming before
you're ready."
"Sounds painful."
"You get used to it," Joxer answered, smiling gently at Ares before he
dropped the cock ring back in the box and reached for something else.
"Obviously you know what this is for."
Ares nodded, and if Joxer didn't know better he would have sworn the other
man was blushing. The idea of Ares blushing over a dildo was too much, but
he ignored it and did his best to sound like he didn't want to laugh. "I
haven't used most of this stuff since…well, since my last boyfriend moved to
Singapore. But this one's my favorite, so I use it sometimes when I'm
alone."
"So you…" Ares trailed off and reached out, his fingers curling around the
base of the toy as he pulled it out of Joxer's grip.
"Sure. Haven't you ever tried it? Just to see what it feels like?"
He shook his head and looked down, staring at the dildo as though it really
was the first time he'd ever seen one. Suddenly Joxer wasn't entirely
convinced that it wasn't, and he swallowed hard against the nervous tension
balling in the pit of his stomach. "Ares," he said, praying his voice
wouldn't betray his sudden fear that they were both in way over their heads,
"have you ever wanted to?"
Ares shrugged and dropped the toy back in the box, his gaze lingering on the
small collection for a long moment before he looked up again. "Sure. It's
just never come up."
"So you've never asked?" That earned him a look that told him Ares was
almost sure he'd lost his mind, and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
"You're allowed to tell people what you want, you know. That's what
relationships are about."
"I told you, I haven't dated since high school," Ares answered, the
defensiveness in his tone making Joxer wish suddenly that he'd never brought
it up. He knew Ares wasn't exactly comfortable with the notion of an actual
relationship, but he'd never realized how little he really knew about just
asking for what he wanted.
"But you've been involved with people. I mean obviously," Joxer said,
hoping he wasn't about to start a fight just by asking about Ares' past.
"Your marriage broke up because Dite walked in on you and someone, right?"
Ares nodded, a soft sigh escaping his throat as he rolled over onto his back
again. Joxer picked up the box and set it on the floor before he turned to
face Ares, resisting the urge to stretch out next to the other man in case
Ares needed some space. "I used to rent out my loft to a flight attendant.
He wasn't in town that often, but when he was sometimes one thing would lead
to another. He'd actually moved out when Dite walked in on us; he found a
new place and he'd just come back to get the last few boxes. I don't even
remember how it happened. I just went up to see if he needed any help and
by the time Dite showed up…well, you can imagine."
"And since then?"
"I haven't seen him since Dite hit him in the head with her shoe. I think
he's afraid to come anywhere near the Bronx."
Joxer laughed, some of the tension easing out of him when Ares grinned at
him. "I didn't mean him, although I can't say I blame him. I meant in the
past two years…there has to have been *someone*."
"Sure," Ares answered, pushing himself up on his elbows as Joxer inched a
little closer to him. "But nothing serious. Just a night or two here and
there."
Part of Joxer was thrilled to hear that he was the first man Ares had ever
spent more than a few nights with, but there was another part of him that
was busy trying not to throw up. The fact that Ares really hadn't dated at
all since his marriage meant that he probably had no idea what he wanted,
and Joxer had left that part of his life behind him a long time ago. It was
the reason he'd tried to talk himself out of acting on his attraction for
Ares when they first met, but it was way too late to try to take any of it
back now. There was nothing he could do but let Ares know how much he cared
about him and hope for the best.
He reached out and splayed his fingers across the other man's chest, his
thumb tracing lazy circles at the center of Ares' collarbone. "Well when
you're ready to try anything new, you can ask me. Okay?"
The bright grin that lit up Ares' features let Joxer know that he
understood, and he smiled when a strong hand closed around his and tugged
him down to rest his head against the other man's shoulder. "So when was
the last time you used any of that stuff?" Ares asked, his deep voice
warming Joxer's insides.
It took him a minute to remember the last time he'd used any of his toys on
his own, but when he finally remembered he chuckled and tilted his head to
look up at Ares. "I guess it was the night after our second date."
"Really? So you were thinking about me?"
Joxer rolled his eyes and settled against the other man's shoulder again so
Ares wouldn't see his grin. "At the risk of inflating your ego to gigantic
proportions, yes."
Ares didn't answer, but he wrapped an arm around Joxer's shoulders and a
pair of soft lips brushed against his temple. He knew without looking that
Ares was grinning, and he couldn't quite stop his own soft chuckle. He
wasn't about to let Ares in on the fact that he'd been featuring heavily in
Joxer's fantasies practically since the moment he laid eyes on the other
man, but he had a feeling that even if he admitted it Ares would just take
it as a compliment. The things Ares didn't know were enough to make Joxer
wonder what he'd managed to get himself into, but there was no way he'd be
able to cut his losses and walk away, so he was just going to have to deal
with whatever happened.
~
Wednesday was quickly becoming Joxer's favorite day of the week. He loved
all the time they spent together, but there was something about watching
Ares teach his karate class that made Joxer fall a little harder for him
every week. He wasn't sure how long it was going to go on before he finally
got used to the idea that Ares was his, but in the meantime he was enjoying
watching the other man's natural grace and the patient way he explained each
position to the class.
It was almost a disappointment when class finally ended each week; at least
it would have been if Joxer didn't know that he got to go upstairs after
everyone left and watch Ares some more. He'd gotten into the habit of
staying over on Wednesdays without any real discussion. After the first
time they slept together and he had to get up and take the train home so
he'd be able to change his clothes for work in the morning he'd just
realized how much easier it would be to spend the night at Ares' place, and
Ares had never raised any objections. In fact he seemed to almost expect
it, and after the first week they fell into a pattern that felt almost
natural to both of them.
At least he assumed it felt as natural to Ares as it did to him, but he
hadn't asked because that would be a little too much like bringing up the
subject of what they were doing. The closest they'd gotten to that was over
the weekend at his place, and even though that conversation had turned out
alright Ares hadn't brought it up since then. He hadn't even taken the
opportunity to ask Joxer about his own past, which meant he either didn't
care or he just didn't want to know.
Joxer still hadn't decided which would be preferable, but he was leaning
toward hoping that Ares didn't want to hear about him and anyone else.
Jealousy wasn't his favorite emotion, but it was better than apathy by a
long shot. He'd spent the past two days trying to convince himself that
Ares just hadn't asked because he didn't want to think about it, and he'd
spent most of the karate class trying not to think about it at all. When he
heard Ares finally lock the door he took a deep breath and turned around,
managing what he hoped was a convincing smile as he watched the other man
walk toward him.
"Hi," Ares said when he reached Joxer, sliding an arm around his waist and
pulling him forward for a lingering kiss. His free hand closed around
Joxer's overnight bag, pulling it out of the other man's grip as he finally
released him. "Do you suppose the others have caught on yet?"
"About us? I think some of them knew before you did," Joxer answered,
grinning at Ares' stricken expression. "I wouldn't worry about it, though.
Linda told me last week that she thinks we're adorable together."
"I hardly think we're adorable."
"Hey, she said it, not me," Joxer said, grinning over his shoulder as Ares
guided him toward the stairs. They made their way up to the loft and Ares
dropped his keys on the table next to the door before he turned to face
Joxer again.
"Are you hungry? I could cook something. Cupid's coming up this weekend so
I have groceries."
Joxer swallowed the surge of disappointment and told himself for the
hundredth time that he wasn't jealous of the time Ares spent with his son.
And he wasn't; he still got to see Ares on Sunday night, so he could live
with giving up the occasional Saturday here and there. As soon as Ares got
back from dropping Cupid off he always came right to Joxer's place, at least
he had on the handful of weekends that Cupid had come up since they'd been
together. It was better than not seeing Ares at all, anyway, but he'd be
glad when they got to the point in their relationship when Ares felt
comfortable spending time with both of them.
"I ate earlier," he answered, taking a few steps into the room as Ares shut
the door behind them. "How's Cupid doing?"
"Well he's not hanging up on me anymore and he's back to thinking I'm about
as clueless as they come, so I guess he's doing better." Ares grinned and
turned toward the bedroom, depositing Joxer's bag by the door before he
headed for the fridge to pull out two beers.
Joxer made his way over to the couch and took a seat on the most stable end,
smiling his thanks when Ares handed him a beer and sat down next to him.
"Has he talked to his mother yet?"
"No," Ares answered, sighing as he set his beer down on the coffee table and
ran his hands through his hair. "I've tried to get him to see that she
won't hate him for it, but I think he's worried that it'll cause more
friction between Dite and me. I keep telling him he shouldn't worry about
that, but you know how kids are. They worry no matter how much you try to
protect them."
Joxer smiled sympathetically and ran a comforting hand up Ares' back,
stopping at the bottom of his neck to knead at the tension there. "I know.
For most of his life Strife wouldn't say his father's name in the house for
fear of upsetting his mother."
"How long did it take him to get over that?"
"Well as far as I know he still doesn't talk about Jett around his mother.
But he'll talk to me about him, at least. It's not perfect, but it's
something."
Ares nodded and leaned back into Joxer's touch, groaning when Joxer found a
particularly stubborn knot at the top of his spine. "Christ, that feels
good," he murmured half to himself. "I just worry…about the kids at his
school."
"He'll be okay," Joxer said, shifting on the couch so he could use both his
hands to work out the tension in Ares' neck. He pushed the other man's hair
off his neck and eased his head forward, smiling when Ares sighed and
surrendered to his touch. "He sounds like a pretty amazing kid. I'm
looking forward to meeting him."
"You…you *want* to meet him?" Ares shifted far enough to glance over his
shoulder, eyes wide as he studied Joxer's features.
"Of course I do," Joxer answered, wondering too late if he'd said something
he shouldn't have. He wasn't planning to pressure Ares into anything he
wasn't ready for, but he didn't think there was any harm in expressing an
interest in his son. Cupid was important to Ares, and that meant he was
important to Joxer. "He's your son, Ares. He's a big part of your life,
why wouldn't I want to get to know him?"
"I just…nobody's ever even asked about him before," Ares answered, his
expression telling Joxer that he was genuinely surprised, but at least he
wasn't horrified by the idea.
Joxer swallowed the urge to remind Ares of the types of relationships he'd
had since his divorce. He doubted most of the men Ares had slept with even
bothered to find out whether or not he had any kids, let alone cared enough
to want to meet them. In a way it made him feel a little stupid for being
so worried about bringing it up, but it was hard not to worry about when
Ares was going to decide commitment wasn't for him and go back to his old
habits.
He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the other man's mouth before he
eased him forward again, his hands picking up where they'd left off on Ares'
shoulders. "Well when you're both ready, I'd love to meet him."
"The thing is he's never met any…well, anyone." Ares trailed off awkwardly,
his shoulders tensing under Joxer's grip again. "Dite has this thing about
him being around the men I date."
Part of Joxer really wanted to tell Ares that he didn't blame her for not
wanting her son to see the revolving door on his father's bedroom, but he
had no idea how many men Ares had slept with and he didn't want to start a
fight over something that was in the past. They were together now, and as
long as Ares still wanted to be with him Joxer was going to focus on the
future, not the past. He hadn't been planning on having this particular
conversation any time soon, but since Ares had brought it up he couldn't
really avoid it. That was what he told himself, anyway, and he pulled his
hands away from the other man's shoulders and shifted back on the couch so
Ares could face him.
"Look, Ares, maybe we should talk about what we're doing here. I'm sure
Dite's just looking out for Cupid so he doesn't wind up more confused than
he already is, but you can't keep your son separate from the rest of your
life forever. Maybe you need to think about where you want things between
us to go before you mention me to her."
"What I want…" Ares paused, turning until he was facing Joxer completely.
"I thought you already knew."
"Knew what?"
"What I want," Ares answered, stopping just short of rolling his eyes.
"Look, I don't really know what I'm doing here, but I really want this…us.
I like spending time with you, Joxer. It's all I think about."
Joxer didn't bother trying to fight the grin tugging at the corners of his
mouth as he listened to Ares stammer his way through an explanation. He
liked hearing that Ares spent so much time thinking about them, and he
really liked that he wanted things to work between them. He knew it wasn't
a guarantee of anything, but at least if they both wanted it to work they
had a shot. "Why did you think I already knew that?"
"Because you always seem to be expecting me when I show up."
It was such a simple explanation that Joxer couldn't help laughing, but he
instantly regretted it when Ares frowned at him. "I'm sorry, it's just…I
didn't. I didn't know what you wanted. I mean you haven't even left so
much as a toothbrush at my place."
"Wow, I really have been out of the loop for too long. Since when are
toothbrushes a sign of commitment?"
"You know what I meant," Joxer said, mirroring Ares' grin with one of his
own.
Ares nodded and leaned forward, sliding his arm around Joxer's waist to pull
him closer. "I'll keep whatever you want at your place, Joxer. And I'd
like for you to meet Cupid. Soon."
Joxer knew he was grinning like a kid on Christmas morning, but he had a
feeling Ares didn't mind. He wrapped his arms around the other man's neck
and let himself be pulled forward, parting his lips when he felt the first
brush of Ares' mouth against his. He couldn't even remember anymore why
he'd been so worried about pressuring Ares to talk about the future, but it
didn't matter now. All that mattered was that Ares wanted him in his life,
and that meant making him a part of Cupid's life as well. His biggest worry
now was how Dite was going to react to the fact that her ex-husband had
finally moved on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sound of the phone ringing jarred Joxer out of the paper he'd been
concentrating on, and he sighed almost gratefully as he dropped it back on
the stack and reached for the receiver. "Hello?" he said, a smile
brightening his features as soon as he heard the voice on the other end of
the line.
"Are you busy?"
"Just grading papers, nothing that can't wait. Why?"
"Cupid wants to go into Manhattan. I thought we could come by and pick you
up, maybe get some dinner."
"Now?" Joxer heard himself ask, thankful that Ares couldn't see him flush as
soon as the word escaped his mouth. They'd talked about this just a couple
days ago, but he'd never expected to meet Cupid that weekend. He'd assumed
Ares would have to coax Dite into giving him permission, and then there was
the process of preparing Cupid to meet his father's new boyfriend. He
thought he'd have at least a few more weeks until he and Cupid ever came
face to face.
"If it's a bad time we can do it some other time." Ares' voice interrupted
Joxer's momentary panic, and he swallowed hard and told himself he could do
this. It had been his idea, after all, and it meant he got to see Ares a
whole day earlier than he'd expected to. Besides, he was a teacher. He
could handle one kid, even if it was his boyfriend's son.
"Of course it's not. I want to, Ares. Really."
"Great." He could practically hear the smile in Ares' voice, and that alone
made it worth whatever torture Joxer was going to put himself through until
they finally showed up at his door. "So we'll see you in around an hour."
"I'll be here," Joxer answered, hoping he sounded less nervous than he felt
as he hung up the phone. The last thing he wanted to do was make Ares think
he was having second thoughts about meeting Cupid, but he hadn't expected it
all to happen in the space of a couple days. When he'd left Ares on
Thursday morning he hadn't planned to see him again until Sunday night, and
he'd never expected Ares to call and invite him to go downtown with them.
Part of him had been expecting Dite to object to the idea of Cupid spending
time with someone she'd never met before, particularly someone who meant
something to her ex-husband.
In a way he could understand why she was having a hard time with the thought
of Ares moving on, but for Cupid's sake he hoped that she wouldn't make it
too hard on them. Then again, maybe she was just happy to hear that Ares
was actually seeing the same person for more than a few days. He'd never
really approved of the constant stream of men Eris had in and out of her
house when Strife was still young, but he'd never had any say in how she
chose to raise her son. So he'd been there for Strife as much as possible,
but in the end he wasn't sure how much good he'd really done.
He was still trying to convince himself he'd done as much as he could for
his nephew when the doorbell rang, and his heart skipped a beat as he stood
up and crossed the room. He took a deep breath before he pulled the door
open, smiling nervously when he found himself face to face with Ares. "Hi."
"Hi," Ares echoed, returning Joxer's smile before he glanced over at the
tall, lanky blond teenager standing a little behind him. "Joxer, this is my
son, Cupid. Cupid, this is Joxer, the man I've been telling you about."
"Hi, Cupid," Joxer said, barely aware of the sound of his own voice as he
said a quick prayer that he wouldn't say anything stupid to make Ares' son
think he was a complete dork. "Your dad talks about you all the time, I
feel like I already know you."
Cupid glanced at his father suspiciously before turning his attention back
to Joxer. "You guys spend a lot of time together?"
"Cupid, we've been over this," Ares said, an edge creeping into his voice as
he steered his son into Joxer's apartment. "Remember what I said?"
"Yeah, yeah, be nice to your boyfriend. I got it."
Joxer stifled a laugh as he swung the door shut, trying hard not to look at
Ares so he wouldn't lose it and really start laughing. He could only
imagine the conversation Ares and Cupid had had about him before they came
over, and he could tell by Ares' expression that he was embarrassed. When
he turned around again Cupid was wandering around his living room, his back
to the two older men as he took in the collection of pictures on Joxer's
mantle.
"He used to be such a sweet little boy," Ares said when he felt Joxer's hand
land on his arm. "I don't know what happened."
"Teenage hormones. It happens to all of them. Trust me, I spend my entire
day with kids his age," Joxer reminded him, matching Ares' sheepish grin
with a smile of his own. "He'll be fine, he's probably just a little
uncomfortable with the idea of meeting me."
Ares opened his mouth to answer, but before he got the words out Cupid's
voice rang out in the room again. "Dad didn't say you had a kid," he said,
pointing to a picture at the center of Joxer's mantle.
Joxer gave Ares' arm one final squeeze before he crossed the room to stand
next to Cupid, smiling affectionately at the picture of a small, dark-haired
boy sitting at the piano. "That's my nephew Strife. He's sixteen now, that
picture was taken a few years ago. Back when I was teaching him to play the
piano."
"So you're a musician?"
"I teach music at the Mount Saint Michael Academy," Joxer answered. "That's
where I met your dad. All the boys in his karate class talked about him so
much that I just had to see for myself who this guy was that had hypnotized
the entire senior class."
A short laugh escaped Cupid's throat as he glanced over at his father and
then back at Joxer. "They think my dad's cool?"
"They think he's some kind of superhero," Joxer said, dropping his voice to
a conspiratorial stage whisper. "I think it has something to do with the
fact that his hands are lethal weapons."
"They need to get out more," Cupid muttered, but Joxer caught the curious
expression on his face when he glanced over at his father again.
"Speaking of getting out," Ares said, shifting uncomfortably and reaching
for the door knob, "we should get going before it gets too late."
Joxer was pretty sure Ares' anxiousness to get going had less to do with the
time and more to do with the way Cupid was looking at him as though he'd
never seen his father before, but he stifled a smirk and reached for his
keys before he followed them out of his apartment. He was quiet for most of
the train ride across town, listening to Cupid and Ares talk back and forth
about the mundane details of Cupid's life. Ares asked more questions about
school and Cupid's grades than most kids would put up with, but Cupid just
answered every one of them in a tone that told Joxer he'd given up arguing a
long time ago.
He smiled sympathetically when Cupid glanced over at him, and to his
surprise Cupid smiled right back at him. It was easy to see why Ares was so
crazy about his son; sure, Cupid was the typical surly teenager in some
ways, but underneath it Joxer could see the sweetness Ares always talked
about. And he seemed to really look up to his father in spite of the way
his world had turned upside down in the past two years, something Joxer was
sure he didn't really have a right to be grateful for. It was nice to see
that Cupid was as crazy about Ares as Ares was about him, though, and he
found himself relaxing in their company for the first time since they'd
showed up at his door.
Finally they reached their stop and got off the train, and Joxer fell into
step beside Ares as Cupid walked a little ahead of them. "Is he in a
hurry?" he asked, smirking when Ares rolled his eyes.
"It's probably the whole 'being seen with Dad' thing. Although thanks to
your input I feel like I should be wearing spandex and a cape."
That image surprised a laugh out of Joxer, and he looked away from Cupid
long enough to let his gaze wander over Ares' solid frame. "Now that I'd
pay to see."
"Don't hold your breath," Ares answered, but Joxer could tell from his
expression that he wasn’t nearly as annoyed as he was pretending to be. He
caught Ares' hand and squeezed it briefly before letting go again, smiling
when he felt the other man glance down at him.
"So why are we going to the Empire State Building?"
"Cupid's supposed to do a project on a landmark for his history class. He
picked the Empire State Building."
"I didn't realize it counted as a landmark," Joxer said as they reached the
building in question and followed Cupid inside.
He watched as Ares reached through the crowd of tourists in front of the
elevators and closed his hand around Cupid's collar, dragging him backwards
through the small crowd. Cupid opened his mouth to protest but Ares cut him
off with a look, shaking his head before he let go of his collar. "Don't,
Cupid. There are too many people in places like this and I'm not in the
mood to spend the afternoon filling out police reports."
"It's not like I don't know how to take care of myself," Cupid muttered
defensively, shoving his hands in his pockets as they stepped onto the
elevator.
Ares ignored the comment and looked over at Joxer, rolling his eyes before
he smiled and leaned back so their shoulders were pressed together.
Suddenly Joxer felt like he was back in high school, pretending to be 'just
friends' with a guy from school so no one would catch on that they were on a
date. He knew he shouldn't find anything charming about the fact that Ares
was still uncomfortable with being openly affectionate in public, but he
hoped it was because this was the first time Cupid was seeing him with a
man. If that was the case then it was sort of charming, and he didn't have
to feel quite so guilty about getting a secret thrill out of the sly
touches.
When they stepped out of the elevators at the top of the building Cupid made
a beeline for the edge, Ares and Joxer following at a more respectable
speed. They leaned on the railing and looked down at the city, Joxer
glancing over at Cupid long enough to smile at his awed expression. When he
looked up at Ares he had to struggle not to laugh; he looked a little pale,
and although he wasn't actually shaking Joxer got the impression that part
of him wanted to.
"It's high," he murmured, glancing meaningfully at Ares when the other man
looked over at him.
Ares cleared his throat and backed away from the edge, mumbling something
about informational brochures before he disappeared into the crowd. As soon
as he was gone Joxer moved closer to Cupid, leaning against the railing and
staring out at the view as he spoke. "I hope you don't mind me tagging
along today," he said, glancing over at Cupid when he felt the younger man
turn to look at him.
It took Cupid a long moment to answer, and for a second Joxer wondered if he
should have just kept his mouth shut. Then Cupid shrugged and looked out
the window again, his features softening into an almost thoughtful
expression. "Nah. My dad likes you a lot, and Mom says it's good for him
to have an actual grown-up to look out for him. He's not that good at
taking care of himself."
Joxer smiled at the truth behind that statement, glancing over his shoulder
to make sure Ares wasn't lurking anywhere before he turned back to Cupid.
"Your mom's right; everybody needs someone to look out for them."
"She says she just hopes you're not like the others," Cupid said, raising an
eyebrow as he turned to look at Joxer again. "You're not, are you?"
Suddenly Joxer got the impression that he'd stumbled into some kind of test,
and it was a struggle not to laugh at the surge of protectiveness making
Cupid look younger than he was. "No, I'm not. At least I don't think so."
"Good." For a long moment they were both silent, then Cupid turned away
from the window and leaned against the railing to look at Joxer. "I don't
know exactly what she meant by 'like the others'."
Joxer did laugh that time, the sound a mixture of surprise and nerves. "I
think you better ask your dad about that one," he said, glancing around for
some sign of Ares. "There he is."
They found Ares at the center of the room, a small stack of brochures in his
hand. "These should help you with your report," he said, handing them over
and watching while Cupid stuffed them into his backpack. "Are you ready to
head down and get something to eat?"
"Dad, we just got here," Cupid protested, rolling his eyes at the look his
father gave him. Joxer winced sympathetically and touched Ares' arm to stop
him from saying anything that would start a fight.
"He's right, Ares. Why don't we let him look around a little more and when
he's done he can meet us over by the elevators." Joxer gestured toward the
entrance to the room, smiling gently when Ares saw what he was getting at.
"Fine. But don't talk to anyone," Ares warned as Cupid took off again.
"Relax, we can see him from the elevators," Joxer said, his hand on Ares'
back to lead him toward the solid wall that would block most of the view of
the city. Once they found a corner and leaned back to wait for Cupid he
cleared his throat, venturing a glance at Ares.
"Don't say it."
"I wasn't going to say anything," Joxer answered automatically. "It's
nothing to be embarrassed about, you know. Lots of people have a fear of
heights."
"I don't have a fear of heights. I just…don't like them all that much." He
grinned at the sound of Joxer's laughter, shaking his head and settling a
little further into the other man's shoulder. "I bet the boys at Mount
Saint Michael would love to see me now."
"They won't hear about it from me," Joxer said, an affectionate grin
lighting up his features. "Don't get me wrong, I'd love to dispel the idea
that you walk on water. But then I'd have to explain to them what I was
doing at the top of the Empire State Building with you in the first place."
"I'm sure they'd be even more interested in that piece of gossip than the
fact that I'm a coward."
"You're not a coward, Ares." Joxer's expression turned thoughtful, his
smile fading as he found the other man's hand and squeezed it again.
"Actually it's kind of nice. You come across so fearless, it's nice to know
you've got a weakness after all."
"I have more than one." As soon as their eyes met Joxer's heart stopped,
and it took every ounce of will power in him not to grab Ares by the front
of his shirt and pull him forward for a hard kiss. He didn't even have to
ask to know exactly what Ares meant; all the amusement was gone from his
expression, and in its place was an intensity Joxer had never seen on him
before. He cleared his throat and looked away, finally releasing Ares' hand
and putting a little space between them so he wouldn't give in to the urge
to push Ares up against the wall and tear off all his clothes in public.
"So I take it you talked to Dite about this," he said, glancing over at
Cupid before he ventured another look at Ares.
The other man nodded and turned to face him, one shoulder propped against
the wall and his arms crossed over his chest as though he was trying not to
give in to the urge to touch Joxer. "She wasn't thrilled, but once I told
her we'd been seeing each other for awhile I think she realized she wasn't
going to be able to protect Cupid from my lifestyle forever."
"I'm glad she gave you a break," Joxer answered sincerely. "You deserve
one. And so does Cupid."
"Oh, she didn't let me off that easy," Ares answered. "She wants to meet
you."
Joxer knew from the way Ares was grinning at him that he looked every bit as
terrified as he felt, but there was no way he could have wiped the
expression off his face. Somewhere deep down he'd known that eventually he
was going to have to meet Dite face to face, but he'd always thought of it
as some distant event, like maybe something that would happen at Cupid's
high school graduation. It made sense that she wanted to meet anyone that
would be spending time with her son, but part of Joxer had been hoping that
she'd just trust Ares' judgment on this one.
"Okay," he heard himself say, swallowing his shock long enough to form a
coherent thought. "When…when does she want to meet me?"
"What are you doing tomorrow?"
~
Joxer spent most of Saturday afternoon and pretty much all of Sunday trying
not to imagine the worst possible scenario for meeting Ares' ex-wife that he
could come up with. Just a few days ago he'd been thrilled at the idea that
Ares wanted him to meet Cupid, that he was important enough in Ares' life to
want to include Joxer in the weekends he spent with his son. Back when it
was all theoretical it had seemed like such a great idea, a natural
progression to their relationship.
Meeting Cupid had been less awkward than he expected it to be, and after the
trip to the Empire State Building they'd had a nice dinner together in
Manhattan. Pretty much the entire meal was spent answering Cupid's
questions about where Joxer grew up and what it was like in Michigan; he'd
been particularly interested in the fact that Joxer had played in a band for
awhile during college, but he seemed a little disappointed when it turned
out to be a jazz ensemble instead of a rock band.
Ares had done his best to deflect some of Cupid's questions, but Joxer
didn't really mind being held up to that kind of scrutiny. In a way it was
kind of cute that Cupid felt protective of his father, and he had a feeling
this was the first time Cupid had ever had a conversation with a gay man who
wasn't his dad. Some of the questions he asked led Joxer to believe that
Cupid was starting to get curious about what exactly being gay entailed, so
he'd tried to answer as honestly as possible without upsetting Ares. There
were still a few moments of tension when Cupid asked about past
relationships, though, and Joxer got the impression that Ares wasn't at all
comfortable hearing about his former lovers.
They managed to make it through dinner without any major complications,
though, and they even managed to sneak in a goodnight kiss while Cupid used
the bathroom in the restaurant. But once Joxer found himself alone in his
apartment he couldn't stop thinking about meeting Dite, and no matter how
hard he worked to convince himself that it would be fine he never quite
managed to believe it. It would be one thing if she came into the city and
stopped by long enough for introductions and a few moments of awkward
conversation, but somehow Joxer had found himself agreeing to not only
taking the train back to Neptune with Cupid and Ares, but having dinner at
Dite's house.
The thought was enough to make his stomach pitch violently, and he sent up a
quick prayer that he wouldn't throw up on the train before they even got
there. He checked himself in the mirror for the hundredth time since he'd
gotten out of the shower, making sure one last time that Ares hadn't
forgotten the rule long enough to leave any incriminating marks above his
collar. The last thing he needed to do was show up at Dite's place looking
like…well, like the 'others' Cupid had alluded to during their first
conversation about Joxer's relationship with his father.
He knew enough about Ares' dating history to know he didn't want Dite
thinking of him as one of the men that wandered in and out of Ares' life
without leaving any real mark, and he was hoping that meeting the family
meant that they had some kind of future together. It was the only reason
he'd agreed to the dinner that he was fairly sure would be pure torture, at
least if the things he'd heard about Dite so far were anything to go by.
Trying not to think about it on the way to the train station only made him
obsess even more, and by the time he met Cupid and Ares at the station he
knew he looked as panicked as he felt. "Hi," he said, forcing a nervous
grin that he was positive didn't even come close to convincing them that he
was okay.
Ares frowned and closed the distance between them, forgetting that his son
was watching them long enough to take hold of Joxer's chin and search his
features for the answer to a question he didn't have to ask. "Are you
alright?"
"I'm fine," Joxer answered, reaching up to pull Ares' hand away from his
face. "Just a little nervous."
"Nervous? Joxer, there's no reason…"
"I know, I know," Joxer interrupted before he could finish the sentence. "I
feel like I'm going to meet your parents. It's stupid, but I can't help
it."
Ares grinned and leaned forward to plant a quick kiss on his lips before he
pulled back again and slid a comforting arm around the smaller man's
shoulders. "There's nothing to worry about," he said again, keeping his
voice low so Cupid wouldn't overhear him. "She just wants to see that
you're not some kind of lunatic. She still has a little trouble believing
that anyone sane would spend any amount of time with me."
Joxer bit his lip to keep from commenting on Dite's sanity, partly because
he didn't want to give himself reasons to hate Dite before he even met her,
and partly because he was fairly sure Cupid could hear them. He was
pretending not to be listening, but he kept stealing curious glances at them
every few seconds and it was obvious he knew what they were talking about.
When the train rolled to a stop in front of them it was almost a relief, and
Joxer found himself relaxing a little as Ares pulled him into the seat next
to him on the deserted car. "I've never seen a New York City subway car
this empty," Joxer said, glancing around to convince himself of the fact
that they really were the only people on the car.
"It's mostly a commuter route," Ares said, his arm settling around Joxer's
shoulders again. "There aren't many people commuting between here and
Jersey on Sunday afternoon. During rush hour it's a different story."
Joxer nodded and let himself settle a little more heavily against Ares'
shoulder, his gaze falling on Cupid as he pretended not to watch the two of
them. "He's quiet," he said softly.
"He's always like this on the way back," Ares answered, a soft sigh escaping
his throat. "Going home is hard on him, it almost makes me feel selfish for
wanting to spend time with him. I'm not sure him moving to the city would
fix the problem, though. Besides, Dite would never stand for it, no matter
how much Cupid wants to be here."
"Is he okay with this?" Joxer asked, gesturing toward Ares' hand where it
rested on his shoulder.
"I think so." The wistfulness in Ares' voice was replaced by a thoughtful
tone, as though he'd spent some time thinking about the question already.
"He asked a lot of questions when we got back to my place last night. Some
of which I don't think I answered to his satisfaction. But one of the first
things he wanted to know was why I barely touched you yesterday. I think it
was his way of letting me know that he was okay with it."
"Some of it has to be curiosity too. I mean considering," Joxer said. He
glanced over at Ares and had to swallow a laugh at the other man's
expression; he hadn't really thought about it before he said it, but he
could understand why it would make Ares uncomfortable to know why his son
was curious about seeing them together. It would take some getting used to,
but in the long run it would probably be good for Cupid to see his father
with someone that really cared about him. "Sorry. Probably not the image
you needed right now."
"No, you're right," Ares said, although he didn't sound particularly happy
about it. "I mean he doesn't have any exposure to…well, anything, really.
Not at home, anyway. I guess that's part of the reason he's so taken with
the city, he can come here and find all the things he wonders about but
never sees in Jersey."
"It's important for him to see you happy, too, you know." Joxer grinned
where Ares looked down at him, his stomach fluttering for a whole new set of
reasons when their eyes met. "It's good for him to see you living your
life. And he needs to see that it's okay for you to be happy even though
you don't live in the same house as him anymore."
Ares rolled his eyes good-naturedly and squeezed Joxer's shoulder. "Dite's
going to love you. Where do you get this stuff? You sound just like her."
"I told you, teacher in-service days. They're not just boring budget
meetings." He smiled and settled back against the seat again, hoping that
Ares was right about Dite liking him. He wasn't sure whether or not it was
a good thing that he reminded Ares of his ex-wife sometimes, but the fact
was that Joxer found himself agreeing with her more often than Ares would
probably want to know about. He felt a little less anxious about spending
an evening at her house, anyway, and maybe if Dite approved of him it would
make things easier on Cupid too.
~
When they finally got to Dite's house Cupid opened the door and bolted for
his room to put his things away, leaving Ares and Joxer standing in the
foyer just outside the living room. Ares took hold of Joxer's shoulders and
turned him in the direction of the living room, holding back his own
laughter as he watched Joxer take in Dite's idea of interior design.
"Oh. Oh…my…" That was as far as Joxer got before the kitchen door swung
open, and Ares let go of him and turned to face his ex-wife.
"Dite," Ares said, his deep voice jolting Joxer out of the shock of being
surrounded by more pink than he'd ever seen in his life, "this is Joxer.
Joxer, Aphrodite."
"I was just admiring your beautiful home," Joxer said, holding out his hand
as he turned on what he hoped was a charming smile. "I've never seen
anything quite like it."
"Thank you," Dite answered, taking his hand briefly before she gestured
toward the kitchen. "I did all of it myself. Let me show you around."
"I'm just going to go check on Cupid," Ares said, pointedly ignoring the
look Joxer shot him as Dite took hold of his arm and led him in the
direction of the dining room. "I'll be right down."
"Take your time," Dite called after him without bothering to look back. As
soon as he was gone she herded Joxer into the kitchen, making sure the door
swung shut behind them before she pushed him into a chair and sat down
across from him. "Can I get you anything? Coke? Coffee? Dinner will be a
little while."
"I'm fine," he answered, but before he could add a polite 'thank you' she
was talking over him again.
"I have to say I wasn't thrilled about the idea of Cupid spending time with
one of Ares' men." Her voice dropped a little on the word 'men', her dainty
nose wrinkling a little before she shook herself and continued. "But Ares
seemed pretty adamant that you'd be around for awhile, and let's face it,
he's not known for his ability to commit."
Joxer opened his mouth to say something in Ares' defense; he wasn't sure
what, but he was almost positive he shouldn't just sit there and listen to
her talk about Ares that way. As soon as he opened his mouth she waved a
hand dismissively, though, her whole body sort of jiggling with the
movement. It was distracting enough the he lost his train of thought long
enough for her to start talking again, and by the time he tuned back in he
realized that it wasn't meant to be a two-sided conversation.
"Don't get me wrong, I'm crazy about the big jerk. I've known him my whole
life, you know. We grew up right down the street from each other, went to
all the same schools. We were practically inseparable." She paused long
enough to let out a wistful sigh, and Joxer had to struggle not to grin at
her less-than-subtle attempt to assert her claim on Ares. In a way it was
almost as sweet as Cupid questioning Joxer's intentions toward his father,
albeit he didn't get the impression from Cupid that he was just barely
stopping himself from scratching Joxer's eyes out.
"Still, his taste in men since we split up…well let's just say I had a
reason to be worried. You don't mind me talking about this, do you?"
All Joxer could do was shake his head, not that it mattered considering she
wasn't really looking at him. He hadn't expected quite so obvious an
attempt to put him in his place, and it made him wonder what exactly Ares
had told her about him. It had to have been interesting for her to feel as
threatened as she did, and he had to struggle to stop himself from
interrupting her long enough to ask.
"Well anyway, when he said he'd finally found one that was going to be
around for more than the occasional roll in the hay I couldn't really say
no. Cupid needs his father, unfortunately, and I know Ares is nuts about
him. I'm not crazy about him keeping my son in that disgusting bachelor pad
of his, but he's not real interested in what I think about his living
arrangements. So I figured if he likes you enough to want to introduce you
to Cupid, that means you're probably going to be sticking around for
awhile."
Joxer nodded, expecting her to launch into another manic monologue about
Ares' personal life. When she just stared at him expectantly he realized
she was waiting for an actual answer, and he found himself blushing and
trying to remember what exactly the question had been. "Of course…I mean I
plan to be a part of Ares' life for as long as he wants me around. He's
very important to me. We all just want to see him happy, right?"
For a long moment she didn't say anything, and it was such an unsettling
switch from a few moments ago that he found himself shifting uncomfortably
in his seat. He was pretty sure it was some sort of therapist tactic to
keep him off balance until he finally slipped up and did whatever horrible
thing she'd been hoping he'd do, but a moment later she leaned forward and
dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper.
"Oh my god, you didn't go and fall in love with him, did you? Oh you poor
thing, you did." With that she patted his hand and stood up, turning her
back on him long enough to pull the fridge open and dig around on the
shelves until she found what she was looking for. A moment later she
straightened up and kicked the door shut, a bottle of wine clutched in one
hand. She grabbed two glasses off the counter and crossed back to the
table, setting everything down in front of her and picking up a corkscrew
that Joxer hadn't noticed until that moment. "You're probably going to need
something stronger than this, but it's the best I can do on short notice.
Listen, I know I'm the mean, scary ex-wife and he's probably told you what a
horrible shrew I am, but if anybody knows Ares it's me. I say that as a
fellow…well, as someone who's been where you are. If anybody can understand
what it feels like to bang your head against a brick wall over the big dope,
it's me."
He'd never truly understood what people meant when they said their head was
spinning until that moment; he felt as though he'd stepped through the door
of Dite's house into some kind of pink nightmare, complete with a raving
lunatic who he wasn't entirely sure was harmless. He had no clue how Cupid
had managed to grow up even remotely normal, but he had a feeling it was
more accident than design.
She'd gone from some twisted female version of a pissing contest to
commiserating with him over the trauma of being in love with Ares in less
than a minute flat, and he was almost sure she really did feel sorry for
him. He hadn't even admitted that she was right, much less told her that as
far as he was concerned it wasn't cause for anywhere near the amount of
alarm she seemed to think it was. In fact, he kind of liked being crazy
about Ares, but in a way he could understand why she assumed it was a bad
thing. Besides, he had a feeling that anything he said would be drowned out
anyway, so he just nodded and took a sip of the wine she set in front of
him.
"Listen, Ares can be as stubborn as he is dense, but take it from me; he's
crazy about you. I'm not telling you that to get back at him or anything, I
just know how hard-headed he can be when it comes to telling people how he
feels. I could tell he was head over heels on Friday when he told me about
you."
"Really?" And he knew he shouldn't be encouraging her, but it was hard to
resist when she was offering the information before he even asked.
"Definitely. His whole face lit up, it was really pretty funny. I haven't
seen him look like that in…well, ever. Maybe when Cupe was born. But other
than that I can't remember him looking so happy." She stopped talking and
let out a sad sigh, tracing the edge of her wine glass with a delicate
finger. "Pretty sad, huh? I've known him practically his whole life and
I've only seen him really happy twice. I mean I married the guy, I should
have known something was wrong. And I'm happy for him that he found you,
but the crazy thing is I can't tell him that. I'm still too mad at him for
not telling me he wasn't happy. You'd think I'd be able to get past that
kind of thing in my line of work."
Joxer shook his head and smiled sympathetically. "It's hard to look at your
own feelings with a professional eye. We've all been there at some point in
our lives. You shouldn't be too hard on yourself, you have a right to feel
betrayed."
She smiled gratefully at him, her eyes a little watery as she picked up her
wine glass and drained it of half its contents. He told himself not to
panic if she started crying suddenly, but before he had too much time to
worry the kitchen door swung open and she stood up.
"Hey, hon," she said as Cupid and Ares walked into the room, wrapping her
arms around her son until he started squirming uncomfortably.
"Mom," Cupid whined, glancing over his mother's shoulder at Joxer,
"company."
"Please," Dite said, rolling her eyes dramatically as she let go. "Joxer's
not company, he's family."
~
"Family?"
It was the first time they'd gotten a chance to be alone since Dite
descended upon Joxer in her foyer, and considering the amount of wine he'd
had and the effort it had taken to listen to Dite all through dinner he
wasn't really feeling up to an argument. Something about the way Ares said
the word sobered him a little, though, and he straightened up on the cab's
bench seat and frowned at the other man.
"I have no idea why she said that, Ares. We were just talking about Cupid.
Really."
The cab pulled up in front of the train station, and Joxer waited while Ares
paid the driver before he tried again. "She was probably just trying to
make me feel comfortable. I mean it was a pretty weird situation, all
things considered."
"Joxer, I'm not upset." Ares smiled at him before turning away and dropping
a token in the turnstile. "Are you coming? If we miss this train we're
stuck here all night, and family or no, I don't think Dite will let us share
the guestroom."
Joxer blushed and followed Ares, catching up with him when they reached the
platform. "You're really not upset?"
"Of course not. Why should I be upset that Dite likes you? I told you she
would."
"Well sure, but there's a big difference between putting up with me and
deciding after fifteen minutes that I count as a member of the family."
He wasn't sure even as he heard himself say the words why he was arguing the
point with Ares; the smartest thing would have been to let it go, to just
pretend Dite had never said it and move on. It had been hours ago, though,
and the fact that Ares had brought it up meant that he'd been thinking about
it all night. Which had to mean something, Joxer just wasn't sure yet what
it was.
The train rolled into the station before Ares answered him, and Joxer
stifled a frustrated sigh as he followed the other man onto the train and
sat down next to him. They rode in silence for awhile, and Joxer was
starting to think that they weren't going to talk about it anymore when Ares
finally cleared his throat and turned to face him. "So does it bother you?"
"What?"
"What Dite said. Does it bother you that she'd think that?"
"No," Joxer answered quickly. He wasn't sure what exactly Ares was getting
at, but he had a feeling that somehow his answer was important. "I mean it
was unexpected, but it's flattering. I expected to be on trial for at least
a few months."
Ares laughed and turned away again, staring out the window into the darkness
for a few minutes. When he finally spoke again his smile was gone, and he
didn't quite meet Joxer's gaze. "Cupid seemed pretty impressed with you.
He wants to know if you'll go see some movie he's been talking about for
months now. It should be out by the time he makes it back to the city."
"Sure," Joxer answered, his stomach flipping nervously as he studied Ares'
profile. The fact that Ares wouldn't look at him made him nervous enough,
but he actually looked a little worried about Joxer's answer.
"Even if it's a war movie?"
"Of course," Joxer answered, reaching up to run a soothing hand through the
other man's hair.
"So you'll go see a war movie to impress my son, but not me?"
The grin tugging at the corners of Ares' mouth melted a little of Joxer's
nervous tension, and he found himself grinning back as he leaned closer and
pressed his mouth against Ares' ear. "Well, Cupid's harder to impress than
you."
"Is that so?" Ares turned in the seat and caught Joxer's wrist, pulling the
smaller man's hand away from his hair. He leaned forward and captured
Joxer's mouth with his, a low groan escaping his throat when Joxer's lips
parted until the insistent pressure of his tongue.
Joxer knew it was going to be a long ride home if they started this now, but
before either of them got too carried away Ares released him with one final
brush of lips against his. He let go of Joxer's wrist and caught his hand,
entwining their fingers together and sliding his free arm around the other
man's shoulders. "I'm glad Dite's okay with this," Joxer said, looking down
at their entwined hands as he spoke. "I mean that'll make it easier on
Cupid in the long run, and he's going to have enough to deal with without me
causing more problems."
"You couldn't," Ares said, his hand leaving Joxer's shoulder to slide into
his hair. "No matter what Dite thought…it would never be your fault. She
just wants to make sure Cupid's happy."
"She wants you both to be happy," Joxer answered, flexing his fingers in
Ares' hand before he ventured a glance at the other man. "She worries about
you, you know."
A bemused chuckle escaped Ares' throat as he shifted a little lower on the
vinyl seat. "She told you that?"
"Among other things."
"Such as?" Ares asked. Joxer thought about torturing him by invoking Dite's
right to privacy, but the look on the other man's face let him know that
Ares was genuinely worried about what his ex-wife had said about him.
"Like it's been a long time since she really saw you happy," he answered,
regretting the words when he saw the flicker of pain in the other man's
eyes. He still remembered what Dite had said, though, and if she was right
about the affect he had on Ares Joxer was going to make sure he was never
unhappy again. "She said when you told her about me was the first time
since Cupid was born that she's really seen you happy about something."
Ares groaned and closed his eyes, pressing their entwined hands to his mouth
for a long moment before he forced his eyes open again. "She's always had a
talent for embarrassing me."
"I don't think she was trying to embarrass you." Joxer let go of Ares' hand
and turned in the seat until he was more or less facing the other man, one
hand resting on a powerful thigh as he waited for Ares to look at him. When
he finally glanced up Joxer smiled and squeezed his leg reassuringly. "I'm
glad she told me that, Ares. I want you to be happy."
"Why?"
It was impossible to stop the surprised laugh that bubbled up in his throat,
but Joxer tried anyway and ended up choking on the emotion. He shook his
head when Ares reached for him, wiping at the tears stinging his eyes as he
regained his composure and looked up again. "Why? Of course I want you to
be happy. I love you, don't you know that?"
"You…love me."
"Yes," Joxer answered, praying he hadn't just made the biggest mistake of
his life. If Ares wasn't ready to hear those words it could ruin things
between them, but after the past week the only thing Joxer knew for sure was
that he didn't know anything. "I'm not expecting anything from you. I
just thought you should know."
For a long moment Ares just stared at him, his forehead furrowed in
confusion. Joxer wasn't really sure whether or not Ares was looking at him
so much as through him, but just when he started to wonder if he should be
worried Ares sat up and slid his hand behind the smaller man's neck. "You
really…"
"Yes," Joxer interrupted, thankful that the train was mostly deserted so no
one would walk in right in the middle of the most important moment of his
life. "I love you, Ares."
Before he even realized Ares had moved strong arms were wrapped around him,
and he sighed against the other man's neck and focused on the solid warmth
pressed against his chest. It didn't really matter that Ares hadn't said it
back; as long as he wasn't pushing Joxer away they were still okay, and
there would be plenty of time later for them to work out what it meant.
Joxer already knew what it meant to him; it meant making Ares the most
important part of his life, whether that meant being a part of his extended
family or not.
It was a struggle not to hold on tight when Ares finally eased off of him,
but he summoned the last of his will power and let Ares pull away far enough
to look at him. As soon as their eyes met he knew what Ares was going to
say, and he couldn't stop himself from smiling at the mixture of fear and
awe in the other man's eyes. "I love you too," Ares said, his hands moving
in slow circles on Joxer's back. "I didn't expect…"
"I know," Joxer answered, and the funny thing was that he really did. He
hadn't expected things to fall into place so quickly, and after the week
they'd had he wasn't entirely convinced that he wouldn't wake up tomorrow to
find that it had all been a dream. If it was it would be the longest,
strangest, most wonderful dream he'd ever had, though, and it would almost
be worth it just to be able to hear Ares say those words for the first time
all over again.
fin (for now)